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1
00:00:33,205 --> 00:00:35,439
Honey, I'm home.
2
00:01:00,332 --> 00:01:02,966
Good morning, Pangaea!
3
00:01:03,068 --> 00:01:05,101
Good morning.
4
00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,741
Good morning. It's Wednesday,
5
00:01:11,843 --> 00:01:14,511
September 20, 60,000,003 B.C.
6
00:01:14,613 --> 00:01:17,580
Coming up, Godzilla
will be stopping by
7
00:01:17,682 --> 00:01:19,782
with a clip from his
new blockbuster.
8
00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:24,387
Well, OK. He's here.
9
00:01:24,489 --> 00:01:28,024
But first, a look at the
weather where you are.
10
00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:29,725
Yay!
11
00:01:29,827 --> 00:01:31,294
As you can see,
12
00:01:31,396 --> 00:01:35,031
we've got ourselves an active
super-continent this morning.
13
00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:37,601
In the north, violent volcanoes,
14
00:01:37,703 --> 00:01:39,970
including one
particularly big boomer
15
00:01:40,071 --> 00:01:44,173
that ought to rip the
Tigris-Euphrates Valley wide open.
16
00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:46,710
So if you've got
relatives there,
17
00:01:46,812 --> 00:01:49,145
kiss 'em goodbye.
18
00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:51,080
Connie, Rex, back to you.
19
00:01:51,182 --> 00:01:53,183
Thanks, Dr. Doug.
20
00:01:54,486 --> 00:01:56,786
Good morning, my
family who loves me.
21
00:01:56,888 --> 00:01:58,087
Not the Mama.
22
00:01:58,189 --> 00:02:00,290
All right. That ends right now.
23
00:02:00,392 --> 00:02:02,559
I've had it with this
"Not the Mama."
24
00:02:02,661 --> 00:02:04,794
I am not "Not the
Mama", I'm your daddy,
25
00:02:04,896 --> 00:02:07,263
and you only get one, Buster.
26
00:02:07,365 --> 00:02:09,799
And that's what
you'll call me: Daddy.
27
00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:11,568
Now say "Daddy."
28
00:02:12,904 --> 00:02:14,604
Say "Daddy"!
29
00:02:16,174 --> 00:02:18,208
OK. All right. All right.
30
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,076
Say "Dah."
31
00:02:20,178 --> 00:02:21,644
Dah.
32
00:02:21,746 --> 00:02:23,612
Say "Dee."
33
00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:25,114
Dee.
34
00:02:25,216 --> 00:02:26,883
Dah...
35
00:02:26,985 --> 00:02:28,251
Dah...
36
00:02:28,353 --> 00:02:29,419
Dee.
37
00:02:29,521 --> 00:02:30,986
Dee.
38
00:02:31,089 --> 00:02:31,987
Dahdee.
39
00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:33,423
Dahdee.
40
00:02:33,525 --> 00:02:34,390
Franny!
41
00:02:34,492 --> 00:02:36,159
- Dahdee!
- Fran!
42
00:02:36,261 --> 00:02:37,159
Dahdee.
43
00:02:37,262 --> 00:02:38,861
He loves me. Listen.
44
00:02:38,963 --> 00:02:40,296
Dahdee, Dahdee!
45
00:02:40,399 --> 00:02:41,631
♪ Dahdee, Dahdee, Dahdee ♪
46
00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:44,701
♪ Dah-dah dee Dahdee dah dee ♪
47
00:02:44,803 --> 00:02:46,435
Not the Mama!
48
00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:53,743
I'm not going to school today.
49
00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:55,912
Don't you feel all
right, sweetheart?
50
00:02:56,014 --> 00:02:59,115
Oh, I feel fine. There's
nothing wrong with me.
51
00:02:59,217 --> 00:03:03,018
I'm just not leaving the
house anymore. Are we clear?
52
00:03:03,121 --> 00:03:05,488
Something bothering
you there, Princess?
53
00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:06,889
Nothing's bothering me.
54
00:03:06,991 --> 00:03:09,392
I happen to be in
a delightful mood.
55
00:03:09,494 --> 00:03:10,494
Kiss the baby.
56
00:03:10,595 --> 00:03:12,495
- Shut up!
- Waahh!
57
00:03:12,597 --> 00:03:15,131
- And cut that out.
- Yes, ma'am.
58
00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:19,402
Look, something's bothering you. It
doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
59
00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:22,005
Then you're the guy for the job.
60
00:03:23,575 --> 00:03:25,175
Oh, everything's fine, Daddy.
61
00:03:25,277 --> 00:03:26,776
And my life is not that simple
62
00:03:26,878 --> 00:03:30,380
that you could put my deepest
feelings into simple words.
63
00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:32,815
Every girl in school's
grown a tail except her.
64
00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:36,218
Did I leave anything
out... Stump?
65
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,054
Grrr!
66
00:03:38,156 --> 00:03:39,588
Get him! Get him, Charlene!
67
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:40,868
Get him! Get him!
68
00:03:40,892 --> 00:03:42,392
Ahh! Ahh! Mom! Mom!
69
00:03:42,494 --> 00:03:45,261
Come on, kids, that's enough.
70
00:03:45,363 --> 00:03:47,763
I give! I give! I
give! Ow, ow, ow!
71
00:03:47,866 --> 00:03:50,166
You snap his neck,
you're gonna hear from me.
72
00:03:50,268 --> 00:03:51,166
Mercy!
73
00:03:51,269 --> 00:03:52,802
Oh, man!
74
00:03:52,904 --> 00:03:56,171
I got spit on my neck.
75
00:03:56,275 --> 00:04:00,843
Charlene, I was one of the last
girls in my class to get my tail.
76
00:04:00,945 --> 00:04:03,946
That didn't keep me from
landing a wonderful guy
77
00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:06,082
like your father.
78
00:04:08,019 --> 00:04:09,452
It's not my tail.
79
00:04:09,554 --> 00:04:11,755
I don't care about my tail!
80
00:04:11,857 --> 00:04:16,259
Good, because no matter how
long and gorgeous your tail is,
81
00:04:16,361 --> 00:04:19,395
eventually it'll end
up looking like this.
82
00:04:19,497 --> 00:04:21,698
Jeez, Ethel. Put
that thing away.
83
00:04:22,967 --> 00:04:24,668
Ugh!
84
00:04:24,770 --> 00:04:26,936
Why should I care that
I'm the only girl I know
85
00:04:27,038 --> 00:04:29,439
who still has her
stupid, little stub?
86
00:04:29,541 --> 00:04:33,509
Huh? Why should I get upset
that that's all boys care about?
87
00:04:33,611 --> 00:04:36,713
Oh, honey, you have to
give the boys more credit.
88
00:04:36,815 --> 00:04:38,548
They're not as
shallow as all that.
89
00:04:38,650 --> 00:04:41,184
And if you subscribe
to Dinosaur Sports now,
90
00:04:41,286 --> 00:04:43,719
you get all that sports action,
91
00:04:43,821 --> 00:04:45,187
plus every guy's favorite,
92
00:04:45,289 --> 00:04:47,824
the year-end tail issue.
93
00:04:50,562 --> 00:04:54,530
That's not real. Real tails
don't stand up like that.
94
00:04:54,632 --> 00:04:57,266
What's so great
about tails anyway?
95
00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:58,835
Nothing.
96
00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:04,174
Oh, you're all a bunch of pigs.
97
00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:09,779
Earl, we have to talk to
Charlene about her tail.
98
00:05:09,881 --> 00:05:11,347
She's just a kid.
99
00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:13,182
We don't have to talk
about this for years.
100
00:05:13,284 --> 00:05:16,819
Her friends are getting their
tails and she's concerned...
101
00:05:16,921 --> 00:05:19,322
Hey, I'm telling you, she
doesn't care about her tail.
102
00:05:19,424 --> 00:05:21,857
She's just a little girl.
What is she? Seven?
103
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,227
She's 12, Earl.
104
00:05:24,329 --> 00:05:26,729
Seven, 12: it's not her tail.
105
00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:28,197
That would be a female problem.
106
00:05:28,299 --> 00:05:31,033
She isn't a female yet, so
she doesn't have a problem.
107
00:05:31,135 --> 00:05:34,203
Which if she did, we wouldn't
discuss it in front of the son.
108
00:05:34,305 --> 00:05:35,705
Fine. I'll leave.
109
00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:37,440
I'll go with you.
110
00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:42,111
Come on, come on.
111
00:05:42,213 --> 00:05:43,546
Come on, come on.
112
00:05:43,648 --> 00:05:45,281
Yeah!
113
00:05:45,383 --> 00:05:46,816
All right. Yeah.
114
00:05:46,918 --> 00:05:47,817
Ooh.
115
00:05:47,919 --> 00:05:49,051
Huh?
116
00:05:49,153 --> 00:05:50,586
I love you.
117
00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,221
And I love you.
118
00:05:52,324 --> 00:05:53,890
Hey, hey!
119
00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:55,558
Hey, cut that out.
120
00:05:57,495 --> 00:05:59,395
I don't like my lunch
121
00:05:59,497 --> 00:06:01,697
uh... fraternizing
with each other.
122
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,665
Go away.
123
00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:04,047
Whoa, whoa!
124
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:08,938
They didn't even know each
other before I defrosted them.
125
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,208
Hey, hey. What have we here?
126
00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:13,742
Hello, lady.
127
00:06:13,844 --> 00:06:18,981
Well, I think it's time to take
a dip in the secretarial pool.
128
00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:21,317
Come on, Roy. I'm a married guy.
129
00:06:21,419 --> 00:06:24,387
Hey, look at the
tail on that one.
130
00:06:24,489 --> 00:06:27,190
Lift it, don't drag
it, sweetheart.
131
00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:29,758
Hey, and look at that one.
132
00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:32,294
You know, she looks
a little like Charlene
133
00:06:32,397 --> 00:06:34,296
if Charlene had a tail.
134
00:06:34,399 --> 00:06:37,000
Hey, what did you do that for?
135
00:06:38,202 --> 00:06:40,602
Gee, I don't know
what came over me.
136
00:06:40,705 --> 00:06:42,604
Oh, never mind, then.
137
00:06:42,707 --> 00:06:44,773
Hey, hey, pally-boy.
138
00:06:44,876 --> 00:06:47,210
I think that one
over there likes me.
139
00:06:47,312 --> 00:06:49,390
You mean the
woolly one with tusks?
140
00:06:49,414 --> 00:06:52,948
No. The one who looks
like Charlene if she had a tail.
141
00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:55,584
Hey! Earl...
142
00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:58,654
I don't want to pry into
your personal business,
143
00:06:58,756 --> 00:07:00,589
but is something bothering you?
144
00:07:00,691 --> 00:07:02,591
Not that I'm aware of.
145
00:07:02,693 --> 00:07:05,194
Charlene?
146
00:07:05,297 --> 00:07:06,729
Charlene, tail?
147
00:07:06,831 --> 00:07:09,498
Hey!
148
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,903
Well, I thought I was on
to something. Guess not.
149
00:07:14,005 --> 00:07:16,773
Charlene is too
young to have a tail.
150
00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,407
She's just a little girl.
151
00:07:18,509 --> 00:07:21,243
Not wanting to open
a can of worms here,
152
00:07:21,346 --> 00:07:23,813
but hasn't she been a little
girl for about 12 years now?
153
00:07:23,915 --> 00:07:24,915
So?
154
00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:27,349
Well, sometimes a child grows up
155
00:07:27,451 --> 00:07:31,787
and a father, who may not
ordinarily be a sensitive type,
156
00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:33,623
may have to
suddenly get sensitive
157
00:07:33,725 --> 00:07:38,995
to his little girl becoming a
fully fledged adult... tomato.
158
00:07:39,097 --> 00:07:39,895
Tomato?
159
00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:41,898
Who are you talking about?
160
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,133
Uh, someone else entirely.
161
00:07:53,344 --> 00:07:57,246
Gee, John, we both work
in the same bookstore,
162
00:07:57,349 --> 00:08:00,616
but you sell so many
more books than I do.
163
00:08:00,719 --> 00:08:03,085
I used to have
trouble selling books,
164
00:08:03,187 --> 00:08:05,020
- until I read this.
- Ah!
165
00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:09,425
Dino-Netics; The
Science Of Selling Books.
166
00:08:10,695 --> 00:08:12,595
Pangaea's watching ABC,
167
00:08:12,697 --> 00:08:15,665
the Antediluvian
Broadcasting Company.
168
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:18,267
Coming this fall on ABC...
169
00:08:18,369 --> 00:08:20,169
He's a big-city
dinosaur detective
170
00:08:20,271 --> 00:08:24,040
who leaps through time to
adopt seven interracial children.
171
00:08:24,142 --> 00:08:26,709
She's a ghost with seven
interracial ghost children.
172
00:08:26,811 --> 00:08:28,744
Now they're all
moving to the country
173
00:08:28,846 --> 00:08:30,112
to become district attorneys.
174
00:08:30,215 --> 00:08:33,082
Watch the sparks fly
when Mother moves in.
175
00:08:33,184 --> 00:08:35,017
It's all... Way Too Complicated!
176
00:08:35,119 --> 00:08:36,585
Wednesdays at 8:00.
177
00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,121
Whoa!
178
00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:42,658
Jeez, more of the same.
179
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,094
Mother, you're still mad at them
180
00:08:45,196 --> 00:08:47,730
for canceling
Thirtymillionsomething.
181
00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:51,500
I'm home!
182
00:08:51,602 --> 00:08:52,646
Hi, Daddy.
183
00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:54,470
Oh, hi, Princess.
184
00:08:54,572 --> 00:08:56,271
Upstairs playing
with your dolls?
185
00:08:56,373 --> 00:08:57,840
Um... Yeah, sure.
186
00:08:57,942 --> 00:09:01,744
Uh, Daddy, did anything
come in the mail for me? Hmm?
187
00:09:01,846 --> 00:09:05,014
Oh, well, I don't
know. Let me check.
188
00:09:05,116 --> 00:09:06,015
OK. Water, uh...
189
00:09:06,117 --> 00:09:08,517
gas, electric.
190
00:09:08,619 --> 00:09:10,152
Sorry, honey.
191
00:09:10,254 --> 00:09:12,221
Oh, wait a minute.
192
00:09:12,323 --> 00:09:14,523
Oh, lookee here.
193
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:15,992
"To Charlene Sinclair,
194
00:09:16,094 --> 00:09:18,494
from the Junior Miss
Prosthetics Company."
195
00:09:18,596 --> 00:09:19,606
OK.
196
00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:20,963
Here you go.
197
00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:22,143
Thank you.
198
00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:23,766
Hey, what is it?
199
00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:26,168
Uh... doll house.
200
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:28,137
Nice.
201
00:09:28,239 --> 00:09:30,139
"Tomato."
202
00:09:30,241 --> 00:09:33,142
Hello, there, my
family who loves me.
203
00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:37,213
So, Robbie, you got
any big weekend plans?
204
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:39,715
I'm was thinking of
taking Connie DeSalvo out,
205
00:09:39,817 --> 00:09:42,151
but I don't have the money
to take her anywhere good.
206
00:09:42,253 --> 00:09:43,430
How much?
207
00:09:43,454 --> 00:09:46,122
Oh, well, a dinner
that was 10 bucks nicer
208
00:09:46,224 --> 00:09:48,557
would increase my
chances of a good-night kiss.
209
00:09:48,659 --> 00:09:51,494
Here you go, Son.
Money well spent.
210
00:09:52,697 --> 00:09:55,398
Earl Snead Sinclair.
211
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,634
Oh, Fran, he's just a young
fella sowing his wild oats.
212
00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:01,604
He's come for a little
sowing assistance,
213
00:10:01,706 --> 00:10:03,439
and I'm glad to give it to him.
214
00:10:03,541 --> 00:10:05,808
I'll take care of the son,
and you take care of the...
215
00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:10,079
♪ La la la, la la la ... Oops.
216
00:10:10,882 --> 00:10:12,748
Ahh.
217
00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:16,752
Oh, Charlene!
218
00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:19,756
Isn't it just the most
lovely night outside?
219
00:10:19,858 --> 00:10:22,358
Charlene, you look
very nice tonight,
220
00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:25,928
but I can't help thinking there's
something different about you.
221
00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:28,363
Hey, Charlene, you got
something stuck to your butt.
222
00:10:28,465 --> 00:10:30,432
- Oh, wow...
- Leave me alone!
223
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:32,468
Oh, I'm sorry.
224
00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:34,937
Should I get my staple gun?
225
00:10:35,039 --> 00:10:38,374
- Robbie! Robbie, give it to me!
- Robbie, give me my...
226
00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:39,875
Robbie go to your room.
227
00:10:39,977 --> 00:10:41,176
Go on, Son.
228
00:10:43,214 --> 00:10:45,681
Charlene, would you
like to talk about this
229
00:10:45,783 --> 00:10:47,683
with your father and me?
230
00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:49,151
No.
231
00:10:49,253 --> 00:10:50,953
Ah, gee, too bad.
232
00:10:51,055 --> 00:10:54,189
Let's go, Junior.
Let's go fast. Let's go.
233
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:59,829
Aw, Charlene, don't you
think you're being ridiculous?
234
00:10:59,931 --> 00:11:02,031
But I want a tail.
235
00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:06,201
Look, sweetheart, when you
really stop to think about it,
236
00:11:06,304 --> 00:11:08,771
is a tail really that important?
237
00:11:08,873 --> 00:11:09,873
Yes.
238
00:11:09,941 --> 00:11:11,340
Who says so?
239
00:11:11,443 --> 00:11:12,741
Well, the world.
240
00:11:12,843 --> 00:11:14,277
Magazines,
241
00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:16,612
movies, television.
242
00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:20,082
Charlene, the tail on your
backside is not as important
243
00:11:20,184 --> 00:11:22,517
as the head on your shoulders,
244
00:11:22,619 --> 00:11:25,054
and you've got a good one.
245
00:11:25,156 --> 00:11:28,057
I'm surprised at
you for not using it.
246
00:11:28,159 --> 00:11:30,827
Mom, you said you were the
last in your class to get your tail.
247
00:11:30,929 --> 00:11:32,261
How did you handle it?
248
00:11:32,363 --> 00:11:35,397
Oh, well, that was
a long time ago.
249
00:11:35,499 --> 00:11:38,634
I'm sure I handled it
with grace and dignity.
250
00:11:38,736 --> 00:11:41,537
She tried to throw
herself off the roof.
251
00:11:41,639 --> 00:11:42,849
Mother!
252
00:11:42,873 --> 00:11:45,341
Of course, she
weighed 2,800 pounds,
253
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,809
so the roof collapsed.
254
00:11:46,911 --> 00:11:49,812
She fell right through
onto Grandpa Louie,
255
00:11:49,914 --> 00:11:52,915
who was cleaning
his pipe at the time.
256
00:11:53,017 --> 00:11:54,884
We never found the pipe,
257
00:11:54,986 --> 00:11:57,386
but Grandpa Louie
walked funny after that.
258
00:11:57,488 --> 00:11:59,354
The point is,
259
00:11:59,456 --> 00:12:02,158
your tail will come
when it comes.
260
00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,340
Until then, live each
day to the fullest.
261
00:12:04,429 --> 00:12:07,263
Make the most of every
moment of your life.
262
00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:08,630
OK.
263
00:12:08,732 --> 00:12:10,532
Where are you going?
264
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:12,568
The roof.
265
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:21,176
So, the 10 bucks
paid off after all.
266
00:12:21,278 --> 00:12:23,478
That's my boy, that's my boy.
267
00:12:24,749 --> 00:12:27,182
You love your
caveman, don't you?
268
00:12:27,284 --> 00:12:30,252
I love my caveman.
269
00:12:30,354 --> 00:12:31,654
Oh!
270
00:12:34,825 --> 00:12:37,593
Good morning, family.
271
00:12:37,695 --> 00:12:39,294
Whoa!
272
00:12:39,397 --> 00:12:40,763
Oh...
273
00:12:40,865 --> 00:12:43,965
what'd you do, buy
the variety pack?
274
00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:46,435
You're wasting your
time, Moronasaurus.
275
00:12:46,537 --> 00:12:47,681
It's real!
276
00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:48,971
Uh, real...
277
00:12:49,073 --> 00:12:54,443
What? Oh, no, man! Oh,
I touched my sister's tail!
278
00:12:54,545 --> 00:12:56,812
Charlene, is it really...
279
00:12:56,914 --> 00:12:58,781
Yes. It grew in last night.
280
00:12:58,883 --> 00:13:00,160
Isn't it beautiful, Ma?
281
00:13:00,184 --> 00:13:04,286
- Oh, I'm so happy for you.
- Oh, Mom.
282
00:13:05,790 --> 00:13:08,057
Oh, isn't it wonderful, Earl?
283
00:13:10,127 --> 00:13:13,495
How long do you think it'll take
the boys to notice I got my tail?
284
00:13:13,597 --> 00:13:15,431
Oh, it's the boys!
285
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:17,900
It's the boys! Yay!
286
00:13:18,002 --> 00:13:20,202
Our little girl's all grown up.
287
00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:23,372
She's blossomed.
288
00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:25,607
She's a tomato.
289
00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:37,619
Whoa! So how am I doing?
290
00:13:37,721 --> 00:13:40,122
- Do I look good?
- You're doing fine.
291
00:13:40,224 --> 00:13:42,825
Are you sure? 'Cause my
date's gonna be here at 7:00.
292
00:13:42,927 --> 00:13:45,594
I have to find my new center
of gravity by then. Whoops.
293
00:13:45,696 --> 00:13:48,397
The first rule of
having a tail is,
294
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:50,632
be careful how you turn around.
295
00:13:51,302 --> 00:13:52,368
Why?
296
00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:53,702
Whee! Oof!
297
00:13:53,804 --> 00:13:55,804
Ohh...
298
00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:57,139
Again!
299
00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:59,508
Charlene, stop.
300
00:13:59,611 --> 00:14:01,710
- What?
- Let me come to you.
301
00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:05,181
So, Mom, when I walk, do I
swing it back and forwards,
302
00:14:05,283 --> 00:14:08,784
- or do I just let it drag?
- Nice girls don't swing.
303
00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:11,320
- So boys like that?
- No.
304
00:14:11,422 --> 00:14:12,821
They're crazy for it.
305
00:14:12,924 --> 00:14:14,322
Mother.
306
00:14:14,425 --> 00:14:16,158
I'm just telling
her what's what.
307
00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:18,794
And I'm telling
her what's right.
308
00:14:18,896 --> 00:14:21,663
You want her to
be alone all her life?
309
00:14:21,765 --> 00:14:23,565
Sweetheart...
310
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:27,403
just swing it a little
until you get married,
311
00:14:27,505 --> 00:14:29,872
then you can put it away.
312
00:14:29,974 --> 00:14:31,307
OK.
313
00:14:34,478 --> 00:14:37,779
- Hi.
- Oh.
314
00:14:37,881 --> 00:14:38,881
Hi, Daddy.
315
00:14:38,982 --> 00:14:40,316
Yeah, yeah.
316
00:14:40,418 --> 00:14:45,187
Hi, honey. We're just preparing
Charlene for her first date.
317
00:14:45,289 --> 00:14:49,258
- Any words of wisdom?
- Date?
318
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,761
Daddy, do you think I
should swing it or let it drag?
319
00:14:52,864 --> 00:14:54,730
Because I want him to like me
320
00:14:54,832 --> 00:14:57,165
but I don't want
him to think I'm fast.
321
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:59,034
But I do want him
to buy me dinner
322
00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:02,171
but I don't want
him to get any ideas.
323
00:15:02,273 --> 00:15:05,775
So, Dad, you're a guy. What do
you think? Swing? Drag? What?
324
00:15:05,877 --> 00:15:07,043
Date?
325
00:15:08,145 --> 00:15:09,811
Oh, that's for me.
326
00:15:09,914 --> 00:15:12,247
They're all for me.
327
00:15:12,349 --> 00:15:13,415
Again!
328
00:15:16,354 --> 00:15:17,720
Oh, Earl.
329
00:15:17,822 --> 00:15:21,023
Our little girl's
going out on a date.
330
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,526
Why don't you put
a knife in my head?
331
00:15:24,628 --> 00:15:26,662
Mother, Father,
332
00:15:26,764 --> 00:15:29,164
this is my date, Maurice.
333
00:15:29,266 --> 00:15:30,565
Hello, Maurice.
334
00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,634
Hello, Mrs. Sinclair.
335
00:15:32,736 --> 00:15:37,038
Well, I can certainly see where
Charlene gets her good looks.
336
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:38,774
Ohh.
337
00:15:38,876 --> 00:15:40,642
And this is my daddy.
338
00:15:40,744 --> 00:15:44,779
I want you to know your
daughter's in good hands.
339
00:15:44,881 --> 00:15:47,149
I'm sure.
340
00:15:47,918 --> 00:15:49,818
Well, then, I guess we're off.
341
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440
Wait, wait, wait. Where
are you taking my little girl?
342
00:15:52,523 --> 00:15:54,256
We're just going out for ribs.
343
00:15:54,358 --> 00:15:57,526
Ribs? They deliver ribs.
We could have ribs right here.
344
00:15:57,628 --> 00:15:59,929
- Earl.
- Why do you need to go out?
345
00:16:00,031 --> 00:16:01,963
We think going out
would be more fun.
346
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:04,933
Fun? You want fun?
We got fun right here.
347
00:16:05,035 --> 00:16:06,935
We got food, we got games.
348
00:16:07,037 --> 00:16:08,037
Mom.
349
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:10,339
Earl, you go into the kitchen,
350
00:16:10,441 --> 00:16:13,175
get on the phone
and order some ribs.
351
00:16:13,277 --> 00:16:16,045
- Mom!
- Right away, Fran. My treat.
352
00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:18,613
Maurice, your
money's no good here.
353
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:19,748
But... But, Mom.
354
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:21,384
Shh!
355
00:16:22,954 --> 00:16:25,887
Get out of here.
Have a good time.
356
00:16:25,989 --> 00:16:28,190
Oh, thanks, Mom.
357
00:16:28,292 --> 00:16:30,259
You're a peach, Mrs. S.
358
00:16:30,361 --> 00:16:31,127
Aw...
359
00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,162
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
360
00:16:33,264 --> 00:16:35,130
You're taller than my
brother, aren't you?
361
00:16:35,232 --> 00:16:39,134
- Oh, yeah.
- I thought so.
362
00:16:40,571 --> 00:16:42,537
I'm back! Mr. Fun!
363
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,240
And look, guys, I
found the board games.
364
00:16:45,342 --> 00:16:48,310
You see, Franny? This
is what dating should be.
365
00:16:48,412 --> 00:16:50,546
Parents and children.
366
00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:55,517
Where are the children, Fran?
367
00:16:58,489 --> 00:16:59,989
Oh!
368
00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:13,668
Betrayed. Betrayed
by the very ones I love.
369
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,305
First my daughter, who
had the nerve to grow a tail
370
00:17:16,407 --> 00:17:17,907
and take it out into the night.
371
00:17:18,009 --> 00:17:21,310
And then my wife
Franny, the queen betrayer.
372
00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:25,447
She sent me into the
other room to order ribs
373
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,949
while daughter decisions
were being made.
374
00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:29,285
And most of all Bruno,
375
00:17:29,387 --> 00:17:32,054
who makes the skinniest
ribs in the business.
376
00:17:32,156 --> 00:17:35,791
I ate six buckets
and I lost weight.
377
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:40,128
Ah, the refrigerator.
378
00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:42,598
Always there for me.
379
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,034
Hey! Turn out that light!
380
00:17:45,136 --> 00:17:46,136
Sorry.
381
00:17:52,109 --> 00:17:53,642
Ahh.
382
00:18:01,218 --> 00:18:04,053
Yo, look here, Chucky,
just because you can't sleep,
383
00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:06,321
doesn't mean you
got to disturb me.
384
00:18:06,423 --> 00:18:07,957
Uh... no, uh...
385
00:18:08,059 --> 00:18:09,624
Then tuck me in.
386
00:18:09,727 --> 00:18:10,993
Yeah.
387
00:18:11,095 --> 00:18:12,994
Uh, yes, sir.
388
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,801
Take me out of the
refrigerator at this hour,
389
00:18:18,903 --> 00:18:20,368
I'll lose my space.
390
00:18:20,471 --> 00:18:22,404
Hey! Kiss me good night!
391
00:18:22,506 --> 00:18:24,172
Hmm? Oh.
392
00:18:25,610 --> 00:18:27,821
And don't be putting
me in no vegetable bin.
393
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,125
I wake up in the vegetables,
394
00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:31,347
I'll come out and kick
your flabby dinosaur butt
395
00:18:31,449 --> 00:18:33,882
all up and down
the super-continent!
396
00:18:33,984 --> 00:18:36,151
You've been pacing
the floors all night.
397
00:18:36,253 --> 00:18:38,721
You! I'm not even
talking to you!
398
00:18:38,823 --> 00:18:41,823
You who uses ribs
to manipulate others!
399
00:18:41,925 --> 00:18:45,994
Earl, you knew Charlene
was going to grow up someday.
400
00:18:46,096 --> 00:18:49,397
This is not about her.
I'm not thinking about her.
401
00:18:49,499 --> 00:18:52,000
I'm not even worried
about Charlene in the least.
402
00:18:58,843 --> 00:19:02,944
Oh, Franny, yesterday
she was my sweet little girl,
403
00:19:03,047 --> 00:19:06,581
and today, she's Little
Miss Look-What-I-Got.
404
00:19:06,683 --> 00:19:08,250
And that frightens you.
405
00:19:08,352 --> 00:19:09,784
Nothing frightens me, Fran.
406
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:12,287
I'm the mighty megalosaurus.
407
00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:15,224
I am the king of all I survey!
408
00:19:15,926 --> 00:19:17,692
Oh, Franny,
409
00:19:17,794 --> 00:19:19,628
I don't know how
to be the father
410
00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:22,063
of a teenage female thing.
411
00:19:22,165 --> 00:19:24,065
You're a wonderful father, Earl.
412
00:19:24,168 --> 00:19:26,034
Yeah, I was a wonderful father
413
00:19:26,136 --> 00:19:28,103
when they were little
kids and sat on my lap,
414
00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:31,039
but now they're not
little kids anymore.
415
00:19:31,141 --> 00:19:34,543
I don't have a lap
to sit on anymore.
416
00:19:34,645 --> 00:19:37,713
All I want is my
little girl back, Fran.
417
00:19:37,815 --> 00:19:39,414
I want her to still need me.
418
00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:41,750
I want to hold her
and read her stories.
419
00:19:41,852 --> 00:19:43,652
Tell her I love her.
420
00:19:44,421 --> 00:19:46,488
Where the hell have you been?
421
00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:47,723
Hi, Daddy.
422
00:19:47,825 --> 00:19:49,925
If you think I'm gonna
pace these floors
423
00:19:50,027 --> 00:19:51,359
for the rest of my life
424
00:19:51,461 --> 00:19:54,129
worrying about you out
there in the world, Little Missy,
425
00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:55,430
you can forget it.
426
00:19:55,532 --> 00:19:58,400
You are not going
out on any more dates.
427
00:19:58,502 --> 00:19:59,801
That's fine with me.
428
00:19:59,903 --> 00:20:01,770
Then we're in
complete agreement.
429
00:20:01,872 --> 00:20:03,772
Yes, we are.
430
00:20:04,908 --> 00:20:06,808
Why?
431
00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:11,580
Well, because it was the most
humiliating experience of my life.
432
00:20:11,682 --> 00:20:13,048
Ohh...
433
00:20:13,150 --> 00:20:15,784
What did he do to you?
434
00:20:16,587 --> 00:20:17,986
He dumped me.
435
00:20:18,088 --> 00:20:21,557
Is that what the kids
are calling it now, Fran?
436
00:20:21,659 --> 00:20:24,159
He met a girl with a tail
that was bigger than mine
437
00:20:24,261 --> 00:20:26,061
and he went off with her.
438
00:20:26,163 --> 00:20:28,296
I walked all the way home.
439
00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:31,166
Oh, well, sweetheart...
440
00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:35,704
you know, in
situations like this...
441
00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:40,809
your mother is always right there
and knows exactly what to say.
442
00:20:40,911 --> 00:20:42,151
Honey.
443
00:20:47,284 --> 00:20:49,918
Good night, Earl.
444
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,388
Mom?
445
00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:54,123
Mom!
446
00:20:59,863 --> 00:21:02,263
Charlene, why
didn't you call me?
447
00:21:02,366 --> 00:21:03,932
I'd have come to pick you up.
448
00:21:04,034 --> 00:21:07,368
I thought if I walked
home, you'd be asleep,
449
00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:09,338
but you waited up.
450
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,441
Well, of course I waited
up. What do you think?
451
00:21:12,543 --> 00:21:14,442
I think if this is what happens,
452
00:21:14,545 --> 00:21:16,812
I'm not going out
on any more dates.
453
00:21:18,182 --> 00:21:20,415
Oh, yes, you are.
454
00:21:20,517 --> 00:21:21,383
What?
455
00:21:21,485 --> 00:21:23,152
Look, you grow a tail,
456
00:21:23,253 --> 00:21:25,413
and all of a sudden,
guys start asking you out.
457
00:21:25,455 --> 00:21:28,490
And you think these guys are
the right guys to go out with?
458
00:21:28,592 --> 00:21:30,492
Yeah. I do.
459
00:21:30,594 --> 00:21:32,194
Well, you're wrong.
460
00:21:32,296 --> 00:21:34,696
Daddy, nature gave me a tail.
461
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:37,499
Nature thinks I'm old enough
to make the right decisions.
462
00:21:37,601 --> 00:21:42,070
Is this the same nature that gave us
volcanoes and earthquakes and human beings?
463
00:21:42,172 --> 00:21:45,407
The same nature that turned
you, overnight, from my little girl
464
00:21:45,509 --> 00:21:48,710
into some
female-walking-home-by-herself thing?
465
00:21:48,812 --> 00:21:51,779
I don't think nature
knows what it's doing.
466
00:21:51,881 --> 00:21:55,717
What you need is something
to protect you from nature.
467
00:21:55,819 --> 00:21:58,220
You mean... like a father?
468
00:21:58,322 --> 00:22:01,923
Well, actually, I was thinking
more like a machine gun.
469
00:22:02,025 --> 00:22:03,992
But I guess a father
would do in a pinch.
470
00:22:04,094 --> 00:22:07,061
And I'm going to
tell you something.
471
00:22:07,163 --> 00:22:08,897
This boy didn't dump you,
472
00:22:08,999 --> 00:22:11,400
because he wasn't
even dating you.
473
00:22:11,502 --> 00:22:14,336
He just left your
tail for another tail.
474
00:22:14,438 --> 00:22:18,340
If he knew you, he
never would have left you.
475
00:22:18,442 --> 00:22:22,044
So, you're gonna look
out for me, Daddy?
476
00:22:22,146 --> 00:22:23,390
Well...
477
00:22:23,414 --> 00:22:26,181
if you want me to.
478
00:22:26,283 --> 00:22:28,717
I do want you to.
479
00:22:28,819 --> 00:22:33,288
Hey, there's nothing
I'd rather do, Charlene.
480
00:22:36,193 --> 00:22:37,926
How'd I do, Fran?
481
00:22:39,563 --> 00:22:42,297
Well, not the Mama, but...
482
00:22:42,399 --> 00:22:44,766
you'll do in a pinch.
33690
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