Original subtitles

Honey, I'm home.

More.

You've finished your bottle.

- You're full now. - Not full. Empty. Fill me up.

Honey, that was dinner.

Next bottle's at bedtime.

Tired. Sleepy. Night-night.

- No night-night. - Night-night!

- No night-night. - Bottle!

Not till night-night.

This stinks.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Mmm.

Ha-ha!

Ma, can we please have dinner?

I'm wasting away. My thighs are hardly touching.

Don't exaggerate, dear.

- I heard you coming. - Ow!

I don't see why the whole family has to wait

for Robbie to get home from the stupid YMCA.

Hey, hey, hey! We don't talk that way

about the Young Males' Carnivore Association in this house.

I remember the day

when I was initiated down at the Y.

Made quite a meat eater of me.

Do they really make you rip open a live mastodon with your teeth?

That's right, little girl.

It's a good, wholesome tradition for a young boy.

It'll keep your brother off the streets

and teach him about his place in the food chain.

Won't be long before you get the urge

to rip into some flesh yourself, huh, Junior?

- My old man's gonna kill me. - It's no big deal, dude.

Everyone was tearing open their mastodon.

I looked at mine, I showed my teeth, I ralphed on my shoes.

Hey, you spewed a little lava. It happens.

Yeah, some carnivore I turned out to be.

Well, maybe the YMCA just isn't right for you.

Yeah, tell that to my Dad. He'll never let me live this down.

Well, not everybody's cut out to be a carnivore, Rob.

Did you ever think that maybe you're a...

A herbivore?

- No way! - It's possible.

Not for me it isn't. My dad's a carnivore,

my mom's a carnivore, my sister...

- Boy, is she a carnivore. - Yeah.

I've gotta be a carnivore.

Well, it's not necessarily hereditary.

A lot of dinosaurs eat vegetables from time to time.

- Yeah. - Including me.

You... you're one of them?

Are you sure?

I mean... How long have you known?

Well, I always kind of suspected.

Ever since I was 12, you know, when I ever see vegetables,

- Yeah. - I feel kinda... hungry.

Jeez, Dave! I never woulda guessed.

Hey, I sneak outta the house on weekends.

I go to this veggie place across town.

- Mm-hm. - Why not check it out with me?

No thanks. I'm not looking to munch on any greens.

You don't have to eat anything.

You just hang out and meet some of the herbivore girls.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Hey, is it true what they say? - Oh, yeah, about chlorophyll?

- Yeah. - Hah! Makes 'em wild!

Ow!

- Hey. I'm going tonight. - Huh?

Wanna meet me there?

Uh... Hmm...

I see you.

Again!

Hi, everybody. I'm sorry I'm late.

Hey! There's my carnivore!

Oh, Dad. Dad! Dad!

Dad, Dad! Come on, cut it out!

OK, everyone. We can eat now.

Charlene!

Son, you and I have had our differences in the past,

but as of today you're on the right track.

And I'm glad I had you.

Ah, jeez.

I just got off the phone with Emily Stavis.

Not now, Charlene. Dinner's getting cold.

She said that Peter said that Diana said that her boyfriend said

that Robbie coughed up critters at his initiation.

Charlene, I'm going to bite your head off!

Ooh! He's not a carnivore, he's a cannibal.

Hey, come here!

Robert, is this true?

But the whole thing was stupid anyway.

Why should I rip apart some poor mastodon?

I mean, what did he ever do to me?

He was smaller, that's what he did to you.

Bigger eats smaller in the carnivore kingdom.

That's the way it is. That's the way it's always been.

It's the food chain, Robert.

Love it or leave it.

Some dinosaurs reject the food chain.

Yeah. Well, you know what we call them.

Earl, not at the table.

Herbo! Herbo!

Where did you learn that language?

It's television.

They say whatever they want.

Television is responsible

for the utter degradation of our society.

We should write letters.

- Mom. - What?

Get a life.

- I don't feel very hungry. - Hey, sit down.

If your mother can take the time to kill this dinner,

you can take the time to eat it.

Why do we have to eat animals every night?

It's possible to get nutrition from vegetables.

Uh-oh.

Well, it's happened, Franny.

The green menace has crept into our very home.

Robbie isn't one of those radicals.

There's one hiding under every bed, Fran.

Robbie, I'm gonna ask you something straight out.

Are you now or have you ever been an herbivore?

This is nuts. I don't have to answer this.

You either answer me or you go to your room.

Fine! Ugh!

That kid has defied me at every turn, Fran.

Little by little, he's eating away at my heart and soul.

Well, at least he's interested in something.

I'm carnivorous, Daddy.

I'll eat anything that moves.

It's Charlene.

See?

Charlene, you are now my son.

Thanks, Daddy. Can I have money for lipstick?

- Of course, Son. - Oh!

I'm not letting you give up on Robbie like this.

I want you to go upstairs and talk to him.

Oh, that's what you want?

Well, here's what I want.

I want to sit here and enjoy my dinner and not go upstairs

and that's what I want!

But the hell with me.

Robbie, your father wants to talk to you.

Do not.

Robbie?

Robbie!

See this, Fran? He's gone, skipped out. Gee!

I come up here on my own for a little heart-to-heart with my boy,

and how does that little lizard repay me?

He leaves. He doesn't stay.

He doesn't trust.

He doesn't trust his own parents.

- I'm going to search his room. - Earl, stop it.

I want to know how far this thing has gone.

Broccoli!

I could have understood a carrot

or a little lettuce maybe,

but right to broccoli?

No! My son is an herbivore.

Someone at school must have given it to him.

I'm sure he doesn't even know what it is.

- He gets it from your side. - What?

Your uncle Elmo, the one they never talk about.

He ate off the wrong side of the plate.

If only my cooking had been better,

he wouldn't have turned to this!

Franny. Come on, honey. Now don't blame yourself.

I should have taken him hunting when he was a kid.

I shoulda shown him the beauty of killing small things.

No, no. A tangelo's an orange and a peach.

No, man, it's an apricot and a plum.

So, then... what's a tomato and an onion?

Salsa!

♪ Has anybody here ♪

♪ Seen my old friend Bambi's mother? ♪

♪ Can you tell me where she's gone? ♪

♪ She fed a lot of people ♪

♪ But the tasty, they die young ♪

♪ Just like antelope, mutton ♪

♪ And Bambi's mom ♪

Ah. Cukes. Check it out.

Uh...

Uh...

I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

Uh...

Agh!

Ugh! Gah! Eurgh!

- Hmm. - Hi there.

Uh... Hi.

I haven't seen you here before.

Yeah, yeah. Well...

I was carnivorous until a few days ago.

I still might be. I'm deciding.

Mmm!

♪ This lamb is your lamb ♪

♪ This lamb is my lamb ♪

♪ So have a salad ♪

♪ With Thousand Island ♪

- Yeah. - I love the smell

of lettuce on a dinosaur's lips.

Huh?

Uh...

Uh...

Yeah. Go, dude.

All right. All right.

Mmm!

- Robert Mark Sinclair! - Huh?

Uh, Dad! Uh...

Uh, let me explain.

Not another word! We are gettin' out of here.

- But... - Oh, whoa!

The old dinosaur's like totally herbiphobic.

Dad, you're embarrassing me!

I'm embarrassing you?

I just thank God your grandfather's not alive to see this.

You're a carnivore, Robert.

- You belong with your own kind. - Yeah. OK, Dad.

Now, come on!

What's it gonna be, Robbie?

Are you carnivore, herbivore, or what?

Well, why do I have to be anything?

I have a dream

that someday a dinosaur will be judged

not by the content of his lunch box,

but by the quality of his character.

All right!

Yeah. Right on.

- Ooh! You're such a radical! - Yeah.

Let go of my son, you pea pusher.

Dad, so what if they eat a few peas? They're proud of it.

♪ All we are saying... ♪

Come on! Hey! Aah!

♪ Is give peas a chance ♪

Everybody's talking 'bout radishes...

♪ All we are saying... ♪

Yeah, I should have dragged you out here

a long time ago, Robert.

Look, Dad, I don't want to go hunting.

I just don't like killing things, all right?

Robert, listen to me, you're not a kid anymore.

OK, now, look.

No one knows this.

I didn't even tell your mother this.

When I was 14, I...

I experimented with some lettuce.

But, those were my salad days

and you're too old for that, Rob.

We're dinosaurs. We're ferocious, merciless.

- Yeah, yeah. - We got a reputation, Son.

Shh!

That's it. I hear our prey.

Now watch me, Son.

OK? First we start to salivate.

Yeah! Then we approach with stealth.

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Raah!

Ooh! Ooh!

This is it, boy. Bon appétit.

- I don't wanna. - Eat him!

I'm not even hungry.

Put him in your mouth and chew.

You can't make me.

Hey. What's with the kid?

Uh, nothing. Nothing's wrong with my kid.

- He's a veg-o, isn't he? - Hey, hey!

Will you just eat him, and let's go home, Robbie?

No.

My son tried the same thing at his age.

"Why do I have to eat other creatures, Dad?"

"What's so important about the food chain?"

- What did you do? - I ate him.

- I like it. - I'm tough, but I'm fair.

Robbie, the little snack is making sense.

The food chain is what we live by.

It's what we've always lived by.

Bigger eats smaller. It's sacred,

the one thing that gives order to our world.

Huh?

What's that?

Oh. Swamp monster.

Don't worry, he never comes out unless he's hungry.

Dad! Dad!

Phew! That was a close one.

Robbie!

Incoming!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Where am I?

Don't they teach you anything in biology, kid?

Whoa. You mean...

Yeah. We got eaten. I was the appetizer.

You were the main course.

- We're in a stomach? - Yeah.

But I wouldn't worry. A guy your size

could sit here for days before heading south.

Incoming!

Fast food. Shoots right through.

Hey, how can you just sit here waiting to be digested?

Well, that's not gonna happen to me. I'm a dinosaur! Whoa!

Listen to mister big shot, fancy pants, top of the food chain.

- Let me tell you somethin'. - Huh?

We're all the same in the stomach.

Fran. Franny?

Fran. Fran.

Where's Robbie?

Franny...

Did you find Robbie?

I found him, Fran.

Earl, did you teach him about the food chain?

He knows everything there is to know about the food chain.

Good. Then we can have dinner.

He's eaten, Fran.

Earl, what is wrong with you?

- Fran. - What?

- Fran! - What?

- Fran! - What?

- Fran! - What?

What's missing?

Earl, did Robbie get eaten?

Swamp... Swamp... Oh! Swamp! Big monster!

Swamp monster! Teeth! Teeth! So many teeth!

Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Big teeth! Little teeth!

Rows and rows and rows!

All right. We'll go and get him.

What's going on?

Oh! Charlene! Charlene! No. No.

There are just some things too horrible for you to know.

Who ate Robbie?

I don't know! I don't know!

What do you think? I asked him for his card?

You must have gotten a look at him.

Oh, he was big, Fran. He was big and mean and hungry.

Oh, that could be almost anybody out there.

I don't believe it.

Robbie, my brother, eaten.

Earl, we have to do something!

How about if we turn his room into, like,

a memorial walk-in closet?

- OK. - OK, Earl, listen.

Swamp monsters take days

to digest a big meal like Robbie.

We have got to save him!

Well, what do you want me to do, Franny?

The laws of nature clearly state that bigger eats smaller.

I mean, the swamp monster is well within his rights.

The laws of nature also state that we protect our young,

no matter what.

Oh, jeez, they get you coming and going!

Oh, Robbie, Robbie, Robbie, Robbie...

Well, uh... I guess...

it was somewhere right around here.

Uh, yeah, that tree.

- Here? - Yeah, yeah.

- Where? - Down there.

There's the leaf, I remember.

Yeah. There's the place.

Fine.

You wade in there,

and don't come back without our son.

This is a big swamp.

There's probably two dozen swamp monsters

that look exactly alike, with the same big teeth.

How am I supposed to know which one ate Robbie?

That's him.

Two pair. Ha-ha-ha!

Ha! Full house. Ha-ha-ha!

What a day I'm having.

Incoming!

Aaah! Jeez! Ow! Ooh!

Huh?

- Bleurgh! Yuck! Yow! - Dad!

Dad, you came in after me!

Your mother made me.

I really appreciate it, Dad.

Don't you make nice with me.

You who spit on the food chain.

Well, it's the food chain that got us into this mess.

Spit, spit, spit.

We're about to be digested. Do you wanna cut me some slack?

You want me to cut you some slack?

Well, all you got to do is eat him.

Uh, could you wait a minute?

Heh! Full house. Heh-heh-heh.

Straight flush.

Eat me.

What difference does it make what I eat anyway?

This is not about eating.

This is about...

It's about defiance.

You defy me every chance you get.

You don't eat what I want you to eat,

you don't think what I want you to think,

and you don't do what I want you to do.

Just tell me what it is that you have against me,

and I will happily jump down this guy's intestines.

I don't have anything against you, Dad. It's just...

It's just I don't agree with anything you've ever said.

All I ever wanted was for you to live your life exactly like me.

Is that too much to ask?

Oh, come on, Dad! Didn't you ever disagree with your father?

No! Never!

Almost always.

But what's your point?

So you and Grandpa used to fight like you and me?

Yeah, but that was different.

He was always wrong.

Your grandpa was less evolved.

He was a wild dinosaur.

He expected me to live in the woods,

have kids in the mud,

eat my mate, and die in pieces.

And you know? That was OK for him.

But I wanted better.

Maybe it's OK if sons have different ideas than their fathers.

Maybe it's how we evolve as dinosaurs.

Yeah. Well, maybe that's the law of nature.

Like the food chain.

How did you get so smart?

I don't know.

From Mom, I guess.

I'm just sorry that we're going to be digested.

You won't be able to have a son

who irritates you as much as you irritate me.

Aw, Dad.

My son.

- Heh-heh. - My son.

Cut it out.

You're making me sick to my stomach.

- Huh? - What?

That mushy stuff makes me nauseous.

- Cut it out. - Aah.

Uh, Robbie, you're the best son a dad could ever have!

I just want you to be proud of me, Dad.

Every single day!

Son, you are just a little ball of goodness.

Oh, I love you, Daddy-wuddy-wuddy!

Hey, we're hugging down here!

We're hugging.

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Another shower, Dad?

Yeah. Ten more ought to do it.

- You get spit up? - Yep.

- You got spit up, too? - Yep.

Did you bring me a present?

Meat and vegetables. Everyone can pick what they want.

Hear that, kids? Your mother and I aren't too old

that we still can't learn a thing or two.

What I learned is that my kids are smart enough to eat whatever they want.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Dad.