All language subtitles for Dinosaurs - 1x03 - Hurling Day

Honey, I'm home.

Today, I, your
eldest elder, am, uh...

You're 72.

Seventy-two years old.

I've lived long and
witnessed many wonders.

But now I am old. I am slow.

And I get up 16 times
in the middle of the night.

I can no longer
keep up with the herd.

I straggle behind,
attracting predators,

endangering my brethren and
making us late for everything.

Don't act like you
haven't noticed.

Therefore, I wish to be
hurled from the highest cliff

into a tar pit.

Ooh!

But before I go...

Here it comes.

I now decree that,
from this day forward,

all dinosaurs,

upon reaching their, uh...

Oh, 72nd birthday,

shall be hurled into a tar pit,

And this day shall
be known as...

Hurling Day.

And so that this tradition
remains holy and solemn,

each dinosaur shall be
hurled by a loving relative.

Uh, excuse me.

Yes, in the back.

Uh, so this won't
be a total loss,

could you make it that guys
get to hurl their mother-in-laws?

Sure, why not?

Hurling Day! Hurling Day!

One more day till Hurling Day!

One more day till I
throw your mother

over the cliff and into the pit.

Earl, it's supposed to
be a solemn and holy day.

No. That's tomorrow.

Today's a day of
saying, "Yipee, yipee!"

After 20 years of your
mother on my back,

I get to haul her up to
the top of the mountain

and fling her bony
butt to oblivion,

solemnly and with
dignity, of course.

Earl, this is Mother's big day.

Now, she's depending on you

to throw her in that
nice section of the tar pit

where there's shade, next to
her old friends, the Rosenfelds.

Oh, yeah, I'll do what I can,

as long as she
agrees to sink quickly.

Hey, there's my little guy.

Want to give Daddy a kiss?

Not the mama, not the
mama, not the mama,

not the mama, not the mama!

That is starting to bother me.

Hey, guys, Grandma's
in the paper.

Let me see.

Give it here, Robbie.

Ah...

"Marriages, births,
dismemberments,

large bites,
hurlings." Here it is!

Here. "Ethyl Phillips,
wife of... blah, blah, blah,

mother of... blah, blah, blah,

grandmother of...
blah, blah, blah..."

Oh! Listen!

"to be hurled into the ooze

by her loving
son-in-law, Earl Sinclair."

God, I love being a dinosaur!

So, Dad, what do you think
it's like in the tar, anyway?

In the tar? You mean,
actually in the tar?

Yeah.

Well... duh...

I'd have to say that it's dark,

it's peaceful, it's quiet.

No one really knows, son.

We'll all find out when our
time comes. I gotta get to work.

- Oh, thanks, honey.
- Bye, dear.

And tell him to stop asking
such depressing questions.

Robbie, your grandmother's
been looking forward to this day

for a long time now.

She's going to be reunited
with Grandpa Louie.

I thought Grandpa
went on a cruise.

You bought that?

Robbie.

Charlene, until now,

you've been too
young to understand.

But I think you're emotionally
mature enough now

to know the truth.

Oh.

When dinosaurs turn 72,

they're thrown into a tar pit.

Oh.

Does this outfit
make me look fat?

I want you to
think of the tar pit

as a wonderful place

where you'll want
to spend eternity.

Oh, I get it. Just
like the Galleria.

Yeah.

Hah.

Oh.

Hi, baby.

Shh! Look!

Well, I always felt I
was was an herbivore

trapped in a carnivore's body.

Cross-eaters, today
at four on Raptile.

What's that all about?

Eat.

Hey, pally boy, ready
to give the mother-in-law

the old heave-ho?

Roy, please.

Fran's mother and I may
have had our differences

for the past 20 years,

but I take no joy in what
I have to do tomorrow.

Huh?

Hey, look at this.
Roy, Roy, look.

Take a look at these beauties.

Oh, snatch me baldheaded.

Genuine mother-in-law

pterodactyl-skin hurling gloves!

Yeah, my father gave them
to me on my wedding day.

- Look. Non-skid grip.
- Oh.

These old babies have
thrown a lot of old ladies.

- Yep.
- Hey, Earl!

Hey, tomorrow's
the big day, huh?

Yeah. How do you feel?

I mean, any thoughts
in these final hours?

I just hope that when my
turn comes to go into the tar,

those who knew me
will lift a glass and say,

"Earl Sinclair, no
genius, no big shot,

but did you see the loft he
got on his mother-in-law?"

Hey, Earl, we just
want you to know

tomorrow you're going
out there for all of us.

Yeah, and remember,

lift with your knees.

Guys.

Times like this,

a guy feels very
close to his buddies.

- We feel close to you.
- Yeah, we do.

Sinclair, in here now!

Aah! Oh!

You sent for me, my captain?

Sinclair, I am a great
and powerful dinosaur,

and you... well,
you're a puny nothing.

Thank you, sir.

Because of my position
and social standing,

I can say whatever
I want to you,

and you have to
flatter me in return!

That's a keen and
brilliant observation, sir.

But tradition gives
us one great equalizer:

Hurling Day.

One day, regardless
of our station in life,

when the lowest of the low

can stand shoulder to shoulder

with the highest of the high.

- So, drink, Sinclair?
- Wow!

I'm overwhelmed by your
sudden lack of cruelty.

Well, uh...

uh, here.

- Nice gloves.
- Mmm.

Thank you, sir. They
were given to me by...

I'm speaking.

Yes, sir.

You know, it's been
almost 30 years

since I tossed Mother
Wilkerson into the goo.

That look on her face as
she spiraled out of sight...

Ahh.

Ahh. Aah!

My, it's sad how
the memories fade.

Good thing I got it on VHS.

Ooh.

Nice trajectory, sir.

Damn right.

The moment goes by
so quickly, my captain.

Well, not on slo-mo. Ha!

Whoop, there she goes.

Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

Oh, this is... this
is so inspiring.

It better be because
tomorrow's your day, Sinclair,

and no one can
take it away from you,

or I would've!

But remember, after tomorrow...

Lowest of the low?

For the rest of your life.

So savor the moment, Sinclair.

It's the only one
you're ever gonna get.

Don't screw it up!

Yes, sir... no, sir.

Uh... door.

Aah!

Yep, she's in the tar.

Nice hang time, pally boy.

I can do better.

I've got to work on
my follow-through.

But has anybody ever
climbed back out of the tar pit?

No, son, once
you're in, you're in.

Give me another mother-in-law.

Yeah. Ready!

Set, throw!

Uh, Dad, when Grandma
goes into the tar pit,

is there life after that?

For me, there is.

You're losing elevation.

Robbie, you're breaking
my concentration.

Tell me what I say to
her when she comes over

for this birthday dinner.
Goodbye, good luck,

sorry you're being
tossed off a cliff?

Let me explain this to you.

She's lived her life.
She has laid her eggs.

It is time for her to move on.

Now, you want
dinner conversation,

ask her to tell you
how useless she is.

Earl, Mother's here.

Not for long.

- Yeah.
- Oh!

Mother, you look terrific.

Thank you, sweetheart. I had
my scales done for the occasion.

Yeah, yeah.

Mom, tomorrow's the big day.

Yeah, the biggest.

I'm so excited, I
feel like a schoolgirl.

Charlene, sweetheart,
pour me a Scotch, will you?

OK. ♪ La la la la la ♪

- There's a good girl.
- Hi, Gram.

There he is, Robbie, my baby.

Come here, let your
grandma give you five kisses.

You must be beating
girls off with a stick.

Oh, well...

Here's $5.

Aw, thanks, Grandma.

Come on, Mom,
you're gonna spoil him.

Indulge me, Fran.

What am I saving it for?

Grandma, what's
this worth to you?

Oh, wow, $100.

- And five kisses.
- Oh!

That's for college.

I'm not going to college

unless I have something to wear!

It's the baby.

It's the grandma! Uh-oh.

Hello, Mother Phillips.

Hello, fat boy.

Hello, you vicious old...

Earl Snead Sinclair!

Oh, God. My whole name.

I'm asking for
peace for one night.

- But she...
- One night.

Twelve hours, and she's
out of your life forever.

- But, Frannie...
- Don't respond to her.

I do not want you
to open your mouth.

She provokes me!

Close your mouth and
don't let her provoke you.

- I am the mighty mega...
- Close it!

Hello, fat boy.

You see that?

Oh, Mother. Come
here, sweetheart.

Up we go, there.

You and I have had a
lot of tough times, Earl.

I just want to say I'm sorry.

Jeez, Ethyl, you
mean it, you're sorry?

Yeah, I'm sorry you
married my daughter,

and I'm sorry she has to
live in a cold, drafty hole

on the wrong side of the swamp

with someone who was a
tree pusher 20 years ago,

and today is, surprise,
still a tree pusher.

Frannie!

Mother.

I said I'm sorry.

Let's go. We're going
over the cliff right now!

Dinner? Would
anyone like dinner?

Only if it's fattening.

Eat all you want.

You'll be worth the hernia.

And I want you to have this.

It's a seashell necklace
your grandfather gave me

on our tenth anniversary.

Wow! Hey, there's a
bite taken out of it here.

It was a wild night. Don't ask.

Thanks for the
great stuff, Grandma.

You know, you've lived
such a fascinating life.

Well, I'm bored out of my mind.

I'll see you tomorrow, Ethyl.

It is getting late.

We should go to sleep.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Is there anything I can get you?

Yeah, get a divorce
and marry someone else.

There's still 12 hours left.

Good night, Mother.

Mary Ellen Sworkinson's
daughter married a podiatrist

four hours before
she got hurled.

She went into the
tar a happy dinosaur,

hurled by a professional.

Oh.

Hmm.

What's the matter, sweetheart?

Not tired?

Aren't you worried about what's
gonna happen to you tomorrow?

I'm looking forward to it.

I miss my Louie.

You don't remember your grandpa.

You were very young
when he was hurled.

Aw, see that?

That's you on your
Grandpa Louie's back,

hitting him on the
head with a pot.

Wow. Is this me and you?

Yeah. Look, I had all my spikes.

This is when you
visited me at camp.

Your Grandpa Louie
was such a fisherman.

He could stick his
head in the water,

come up with tuna fish,
grouper, you name it.

Oh. A letter I wrote you.

It says, "Dear Grandma,
how are you? I am good.

It is good here at
camp. The food is good.

I hope you're good too.

Love, Robbie Sinclair."

Yeah, yeah, you always wrote me.

Grandma, I don't want
you to go in the tar.

I've lived a long
life. I've earned this.

But I don't want you to go.

You're a young,
sweet kid, Robbie,

and you don't really
know anything yet.

I know. I know, you're right.

Hurling's been
around a million years.

I've been around 14 years.

So I can hardly believe
I'm gonna do this.

- Let's go.
- What are you gonna do?

Come on, we're
getting out of here.

Rise and shine,
Ethyl. Rise and shine!

Today's the last day
of the rest of your life.

I'm wearing my brand-new
silk Hurling Day tie, Ethyl.

Ethyl?

Ethyl?

Ethyl?

Ethyl!

Fran!

Robert, stop this. It's
dangerous out this early.

Everything's hungry.

No, I'm not letting them
throw you in the tar pit.

There's just no reason for it.

There is, dear. It's a
time-honored tradition

started by a wise old
dinosaur named Bob La Brea.

What's that?

Hide yourself.

Uh... uh...

Robbie, don't be a stupid kid!

Come on, Grandma.

Forget about me. Hide yourself.

Forget about me. Hide yourself.

I... I just couldn't
leave you, Grandma.

I couldn't do it.

Now do you see why old
dinosaurs go into the tar?

Take me home, dear.

Please let the old
lady be all right.

Please, please, don't
take this away from me!

Where have you been?

Don't get in an
uproar, chuckles.

We were just out
for a little walk.

I know where you went.

You do?

You went to throw yourself
over the cliff without me,

but Robbie found you
and brought you back.

Good boy. She may try again.

Keep an eye on her.

No problem.

Ethyl.

Now, listen, Ugh,

I'm expecting an important
package this afternoon.

So whatever you
do, don't open it.

I won't, Woodrow.

Hilarious high jinks
with that talking caveman

on Mr. Ugh.

♪ I am Mr. Ugh ♪

Today at four.

Uh... Mom, could I
talk to you for a second?

Yes, dear.

Uh... what would be the big deal

if nobody threw
Grandma into the tar pit?

It would kill your father, dear.

It used to be that old
dinosaurs slowed down the pack.

Now we live in houses.

It used to be old
dinosaurs couldn't hunt.

Now we have supermarkets.

Isn't throwing Grandma
off a cliff just a waste

of a perfectly good old lady?

I'm just asking.

What?

Since we're domesticated now,

there's nothing forcing
us to hurl Mother, is there?

That's an interesting
notion there, Fran.

Isn't it?

I just can't help wondering

where you came up
with this interesting notion.

Well, I have to admit
it's not actually my idea,

although the moment I heard
it, it made so much sense.

Doesn't it make sense to you?

Oh, yeah, it certainly does.

But you know what
I'm curious about?

Where did this idea
come from originally?

If you think about it,
it's a barbaric ritual.

It's not barbaric!

It's holy and solemn.

Earl, you're overreacting.

Fran, dear, I'm merely
stating my position.

There is no position.

Earl, I've made my decision.

You're not throwing Mother.

- I'm throwing her!
- Ow.

You want to sleep on the
couch for the rest of your life?

I'm throwing her, Fran. Ethyl!

I'm throwing her.
I'm throwing her.

I married you so
I could throw her.

So is the hat too much?

Change of schedule.
We're taking off early.

Earl!

Uh... look, it's Godzilla!

Huh, what?

You had to eat a big breakfast.

Just push the chair, fat boy.

Come on. Come on.

Slow down. I want to
fix my face for my Louie.

You look gorgeous, Ethyl.

Oh, do you think so?

Yeah. Get your
foot off the brake.

Oh, shut up.

Push, push!

OK, Ethyl, I wrote
this speech...

Uh... you can read
it on the way down.

Earl, stop!

OK, I'm ready.

No, you're not, Grandma.
You don't have to go.

Dad, a million years ago,

some old dinosaur did
what was right in his time

and created this hurling thing.

You can do what's right in
your time and go down in history.

You could be a legend
among dinosaurs!

Or have momentary satisfaction

of throwing
grandma off the cliff.

You should think
about this long and hard.

Watch your toes, son.

Listen, Dad!

No, you listen!

This is my moment.

This is the time when
the lowest of the low

can stand with the
highest of the high.

If I lose this, my
life means nothing.

Well, then I guess my
life means nothing, Dad.

What are you saying?

When the time comes,
I'm not throwing you.

Why the hell not?

Because you're my father
and just because you get old

doesn't mean you're
not my father anymore.

Oh, jeez!

Hello? Hello?

Am I suddenly invisible?

Why doesn't somebody
ask me how I feel?

How do you feel, Mother?

I'm an old dinosaur.

There's no safe place for
me anymore in this world.

You could live with
us in Dad's den!

That's it! They're
both going over.

Times are changing, Earl.

Today? Do they
have to change today?

She's just an old dinosaur.

She's just gonna be in the way.

She's only old because
she's lived a long time.

Maybe there are things
we can learn from her.

Maybe how we treat our
old dinosaurs is wrong.

Maybe it's better to keep
them than throw them away.

Grandma, just tell him
you don't want to go.

Robbie, darling,

I've done everything
there is to do in this life.

At my age, what
do I have to live for?

Fran, I'm not letting your
mother move into my house

to spend the rest of her
days making my life miserable.

Take me home, dear.

Yes! Cool! Excellent!

I'm coming, Louie.

Earl, stop.

Fran, if you love
me, throw me in.

Earl, it's just for
the rest of her life.

How long can that possibly be?

How should I know, Fran?

Nobody ever died
of getting old before.

You know, I feel
like I could live

to be a million!

Jeez!

Hey, it was a mighty toss.

I mean, I almost threw
her past the tar pit entirely.

And then-then-then she
came down and down,

and then, uh...

She bounced!

Yeah, she bounced right back up

and landed back in her chair.

It's a miracle, they tell me.

So I gotta let her
move in. That's the truth.

Earl, you killed us.