Original subtitles

Hey, Charlie. Have you seen the boss lately?

Uh, no. No, I haven't.

Why? What's up.

Um, I actually had this weird run in with him recently,

Where I was--I was walking in the office and--

and he cornered me and started like,

mumbling some like...

Oh my God.

Some like weird phrases.

They weren't in English.

And then--And then I didn't know what to say back.

And then he started screaming, screaming like this.

He screamed at you?

...screaming these sounds, these sounds at me and it,

like he was stuck in a loop..

That's scary dude.

Yeah. It was--

That's really scary.

It was the most--the most terrifying thing

I have ever experienced.

Yeah, absolutely.

Well, I haven't seen him in like a week or something

but if I see him, I--you-- I'll let you know right away.

Please do, cause yeah I'm--I'm-- I'm really worried about him.

I'm worried now too, absolutely, no I'll hit you up if I see him.

(HOMELESS GUY SCREAMS)

(GUSHING WATER)

Yo Allan, what are you hosing there dude?

This homeless man won't leave,

so I'm spraying him with dirty brown water.

Stop man, stop it, b--buzz off. Why don't you?

Wait, Allan! STOP!

Oh my Gosh! You're Gwimbly!

I played your games as a little tadpole,

I must have collected a million cans of creamed corn

in Gwimbly III: Gwimbly's Revenge.

Oh cool, rock on brother!

I wish this red thing appreciated me like you do!

I hate this red thing! I spit on you.

(GWIMBLY SPITS)

Allan!

Mr. Gwimbly, I'm sorry to see you're in such a bad spot.

We're the Smiling Friends, we can help you!

I don't need your help.

I--I'm doing my own thing now, and I'm thriving!

But I can do my iconic Gwimbly victory dance for only $5?

I take Venmo!

No!

Well, I don't do my iconic victory dance for nothing...

Okay, I guess just this once I can do it for nothing.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Okay, I guess I can do one more for nothing....

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ah!

Hey, whoa just sit down, sit down, sit down--

Whoa, whoa! Hey! Hey! Gwimbly, are you alright?

Yeah, no, I'm--I'm alright.

I think it was just the second dance that did it.

(GWIMBLY SPITS)

Ugh! Do you have any creamed corn?

What?

I'm, sorry. One second, I just got a request.

Heyyy, James from Idaho.

Ah. A little birdie told me it's your birthday today.

And uhh you are also a big fan of Gwimbly uh--

Oh yeah, Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Um, and I also--

We should help him smile, Charlie!

Pim, you know the rules.

We can't force someone to accept our help.

They have to ask.

But - but it's Gwimbly!

He formed an essential part of my childhood,

I hate to see him like this.

Them's the rules, man. Sorry.

It's right there on the plaque.

Wait, Pim. I'll help you fix this thing up,

so he can leave for good.

My arm is getting tired from all the spraying.

Really?! YAY! A Pim and Allan adventure!!!

Alright. Well, good luck with that.

And I'm seeing here I should-- I should also tell Tyler

to go to Hell.

I don't know who Tyler is or what that means, but uh--

Look Gwimbly, I know you're all about doing solo missions

these days, but if you give us a chance to help you,

you'll see that team work... makes the dream work!

Blagh!

Oh my gosh.

Don't--don't look--don't look at that--don't look at that.

[♪]

Ahh!

Nothing like chilling out in the break room

with my best friend, Glep.

Hey right, Glep?

Uh-huh.

Uh. Can--can I help you?

What is this place?

This is Smiling Friends.

We're like a charity that helps people smile.

Wait. So can you make me smile then?

It--It depends. Are you sad?

Uh, yeah. I am actually.

Maybe if you get me a glass of milk, I'll be happy.

Okay.

Here you go.

This TV's old.

You dip shits don't have a flat screen?

Uh, well, we've--we've always ha-

What's the green thing do?

Well, he--

Actually, I don't know that's a good question.

I hate milk.

That mess on the ground isn't helping me smile.

What? No, you clean it up.

You--You're the one that threw it dude.

You have to do anything I want until I smile.

Them's the rules, right?

God dammit!

And guess what? It takes a lot to make me smile.

(CHARLIE GULPS)

Huh?

Uh, sorry, it was just a gulp.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

(THE WIND WHISTLES)

(MUSIC FROM THE TV'S)

Alright Gwimbly you can sleep here.

Uh, no Allan, we still need to like, do stuff to help him.

That's what Charlie and I usually do on these missions.

Argh!

So Gwimbly, how does it feel to be

back at your old game company?!

I bet it's filling you with old memories!

Yeah, shitty memories!

These bastards didn't appreciate me for years!

Don't be silly Gwimbly, look!

[♪]

Wow, I haven't seen that in a long time.

I sure looked cool back then.

I--I mean, I still, I--I look the exact same now,

but you know--you know what I mean.

Don't forget, you're the reason this company became successful

in the first place!

Now lets go in there and demand you get another Gwimbly game!

Yeah! Yeah!

The CEO will see you now.

What? She startled me.

Ahh, Gwimbly!

Nice to see you after all these years.

I see your solo career is going successfully.

(CEO SCOFFS)

Oh, I swear to god if I had my Gwimbly-Gun on me right now--

Gwimbly. No, stop.

Uh, look Mr. CEO, I know you two didn't part on the best terms,

but speaking as a long time Gwimbly fan,

I really think you should consider

making a new Gwimbly game.

The fans would love it!

HA!

Im afraid to say its not 1998 anymore.

Things have changed since you decided to leave.

These days it's not about collecting cans of creamed corn

and childish platforming.

Now it's all DLC and micro transactions and [bleep] you!

Do you want a chicken nugget?

Ew. That's disgusting.

Yeah. Well I'll always be the iconic mascot of this

damned stupid company!

WRONG!

We have a new and improved breadwinner.

Introducing Troglore!

With over one quad-TRILLION polygons,

he is the new icon of modern gaming!

He's quick, he's smart--

(SHOTS FIRED)

Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey--hey yeah no don't shoot that please.

The--just no firing inside.

I love it personally, we--

we really just can't do it indoors.

There's other office buildings below us.

I'm sorry.

(PHONE RINGS)

Yeah sorry, that was us, yeah.

Uh, no, everything's fine, it was--it was just an accident.

It was Troglore, yeah.

I--I've sorted it out, yeah. No, it won't happen again.

So you can't take him off our hands?

Hmm, I suppose Gwimbly can be a skin in the new Troglore game.

But, only if you, kiss my nugget.

I hate this guy.

Oh, [bleep] you!

Whoa, whoa, whoa Gwimbly. No, no, no stop.

No, no, stop, stop, stop.

No! Hey! Pim! Pim! Oh my God.

Come on, come on, lets go.

We can crowdfund your own Gwimbly game.

Troglore, I can't allow them to make

an independent Gwimbly game.

It's my IP to sit on and do nothing with.

We must find them--

(CEO GRUNTS)

and destroy them.

Yes, master.

(CEO LAUGHS)

(THUDS)

Hey! where is it?

I--I--I dunno how good this is gonna be,

I--I've never made a casserole before.

Why are you dressed like that?

B-because you said it would make you smile.

I want McDonald's.

(THUD, CRASHES)

Look, I've literally done every single thing you've asked.

I--I don't know why you're doing this to me,

but I am begging you, I am begging you please,

please, I want you to genuinely smile.

Please just smile.

Dude, I couldn't focus on what you were saying

with that thing on your face.

I was sick of staring at it.

(CHARLIE SCREAMS)

And that's why you have to come back!

A Gwimbly game just wouldn't be the same

without the archnemesis.

What do you say, Count Groxia?

Uh, yeah I gotta be honest, it does sound cool,

but my schedule is so packed, there's just no time, you know?

My boys learning piano, and my daughter is doing

all sorts of stuff but yeah, if I had the time

I totally would.

But--but no, yeah.

Oh come on! It'll be just like the old days!

Remember when I used to beat your ass

over the creamed corn?

Yeah, yeah. I--I remember.

Can he at least crash on your couch?

Uh...

Um, darling. I--I--I don't think this man should be here.

I--I think this man should leave.

He's scaring me.

Sorry guys, I've gotta go.

But, we--

Guys I've really gotta go, bye.

Oh well!

Ah. We can still make a Gwimbly game without the second

main character! Haha!

Are there any other characters from your stupid game?

Hmm, well there is my trusted sidekick Mr. Millipede!

I wonder what he's up to!

I am so sorry, Gwimbly.

It's just wrong, man.

Mr. Millipede was like a damned brother to me.

And I'm gonna say what nobody else is willing to say,

America has a [bleep] fentanyl crisis.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

(GWIBLY SOBS)

Oh, that's beautiful.

Can he sleep here?

(BLAST)

Raa! Gwimbly!

(GWIMBLY, PAM AND ALLAN SCREAM)

Yeah, I don't know like-- maybe like, 10 minutes ago,

or something?

Yeah ripped fully off-- off my face. Yeah.

[indistinct blabber]

No, I have it-- I still have it-- It's on ice

[indistinct blabber]

Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.

Can you repeat the last thing you said,

I cant really-- I'm having trouble hearing--

I can't hear you. Shut Up!

What if the only thing that makes me smile is slowly

sawing your head off?

(PIM SCREAMS)

Theres an evil man after us!

PIM, ALLAN & GWIMBLY: Aaah!

Gwimbly, where are you?

(GWIMBLY PANTS)

Who's the fat ugly nerd?

What did you call me?! Troglore! SHOOT HIM! NOW!

But you said I cannot shoot inside, master.

WHAT?! Shoot! Do it now you idiot!

(CEO WHIMPERS IN PAIN)

Ah!

Hmm. That's all I needed. Peace, dorks.

(GWIMBLY PANTS)

That man should not be allowed to walk the streets.

My master is dead.

I'm all alone.

What do I do now?

I'm sick of being alone too.

Well. Do you want to team up, make something new?

Okay, Sure. Haha.

Uh, what did you have in mind?

(GWIMBLY SCREAMS)

[♪]

I guess Gwimbly just needed to let go of the past,

and join a bunch of other cool characters in a fighting game!

Yes, and I'm glad Gwimbly has a home,

so I don't need to hose him no more.

(CLATTERING KEYS)

Oh, Allan, I love you!

(ALLAN, PIM & GLEP CHUCKLE)

Guys, my nose was completely ripped off my face,

this was not fun for me at all.

Come here!

Wait, is that the boss?

Yep. I sold my likeness to be used in this game.

That's where I've been all week!

Doing motion capture and crap.

Oh, that's where you were!

We thought you went crazy, haha!

Yep, guess I'm oooogli goo!

HULLIBA, HULLIBA, HULLIBA, HULLIBA, HULLIBA, HULLIBA,

HULLIBA, HULLIBA--

[overlapping speech]

[♪]

(WAILING SIREN)

(FIZZING POP)

(GULPS AND SIGHS)

You did it again, James.

You pushed away the one guy who actually gave a damn about you.

(BULLY SOBS)

BULLY: Shit!

♪ Goblin caught on tape