Original subtitles

DOOR BELL RINGS

Recover by CHVRCHES

Five minutes, OK? And let me know when you're back.

Just get on with it, Mum.

Stick to the plan.

Am I the only one who answers the door around here?

Hello, lovely! Is your mum home? I was hoping for a wee chat.

Or...your dad?

He's out, but... Don't worry. I'm not... Who is it?

Julie.

Hiya, Kelly! Have you got a minute?

I'm sure we're the talk of the town.

Well, I haven't heard anyone say anything.

Well, of course you wouldn't.

No-one would say anything to you, would they? No. Well...

# And if I recover

# Will you be my comfort? #

# Or it can be over

# Or we can just leave it here

# So pick any number... #

OK...

# Choose any colour... #

DOG BARKS

OK. Let's go.

CLATTERING

What the fuck?

DOOR OPENS

Look, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

Give me one good reason why I should talk to you.

I just threw myself over a bush for you! One good reason, Jade!

Because I know...

..I know I've been selfish and shit.

And I'm sorry.

I suppose I'm just saying...

..I know it might be a bit of a shock, but...

..you might not... With all due respect, Julie,

you don't know anything about me or us.

I know that.

My daughter lied to me all this time about all this.

She lied to me.

But can you blame her...

..for keeping it to herself?

It's a hell of a thing to try to figure out.

And it's tricky enough at their age without anything extra.

What happened the other night was...

..pretty unforgivable.

And the fact that you're even willing to look me in the eye is...

Is what?

I know right now...

..if we were to ever try again...

..that right now I'm not good enough for you.

But I want to be. I want to be good enough to deserve you. Don't.

And I think...

..part of that is about me being honest with you because what

happened in Glasgow wasn't the first time my anger's got me into trouble.

I mean, I'd never hurt anyone before, but...

But every time you get angry, you fuck things up?

Yeah, you're really selling yourself here.I'm trying to change.

I'm doing the programme.

That's got to mean something. Yeah, but what happens after that?

It takes work, Jade - all this, like, staying upright and alive,

it takes work.Do you think I don't fucking know that,

when every day, for nearly the past two years,

I can still picture his blood on my hands?

I can still hear folk screaming at me.

I can still feel the force of...

JADE SIGHS

I know it takes work.

And what I know now is that I need to work harder.

This isn't just about you!

Like, where am I in all of this?

Where are we in all of this?

SHE SIGHS

It's OK to be scared. I'm not scared.

SHE CLEARS THROAT

Well, I know I was...

..when Jade told me.

All I could think about was how difficult it all was.

Or that folk might judge her unfairly.

Or that, suddenly, it might make her someone else entirely.

But it didn't.

She didn't.

And I realised it's not about me.

My only job is to make sure she feels loved.

Which... SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

..I think is probably enough work.

You talk like a self-help book.

Probably. I have read a lot of them.

Sometimes you need someone else to give you the words.

Do you know, Julie,

I think you and I need different things. So...

I know we're not that close but...

..you were kind to me all those years ago, after Robert left.

I felt so embarrassed by it all...

..and sad, too.

And you were so kind to me, and I've never forgotten that.

So, if I can help...just ask.

I don't know how I'm going to forgive you

for what you did the other night.

Because I'm the one who actually needs to live with what you did.

And...it could not have come at a worse time.

What do you mean?

What is it?

My dad is sick.

And it's serious.

And no-one dares say it but it's fucking serious,

and it's dragging me back here, and now my mum won't speak to me

and I...I can't focus on studying or preparing for my placement

because my head is everywhere.

And then, you come along and... No, I just...!

For once, I just wanted things to be easy and...

Look, I am... ..things just keep getting harder

and harder and harder and...

SHE SCREAMS

SHE WAILS

SHE SOBS

No! No!

I'm going to feel this.

I'm done, I am done pushing it down.

Cos this is who I am.

Even if you hate me for it...

..this is who I am.

Let's go, sweetheart. Just wait, Mum. Jade, please.

Look, you've got to know that there is nothing for anyone to hate.

You've got to know that.

And you've got to know that I love you.

All of you.

Everything about you.

I love you.

Just go.

Come on.

COLLETTE SNIFFLES

POTTERY CLATTERS

I never liked these anyway.