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1
00:00:03,601 --> 00:00:06,203
I know it's weird to sit
in Santa's lap at our age,
2
00:00:06,205 --> 00:00:07,804
but we got to do what it takes.
3
00:00:07,806 --> 00:00:09,539
Why are you walking so fast?
4
00:00:09,541 --> 00:00:11,341
I'm trying to keep up with the new kid.
5
00:00:12,744 --> 00:00:14,811
That dork?
Oh, great idea.
6
00:00:14,813 --> 00:00:17,380
Let's hang around him
and lower our status even more.
7
00:00:17,382 --> 00:00:19,349
Right at the height of bullying season.
8
00:00:20,918 --> 00:00:23,820
Don't you get it, Steve?
This kid's such a loser,
9
00:00:23,822 --> 00:00:26,156
if we stay within 20 feet of him,
10
00:00:26,158 --> 00:00:28,225
bullies will never even see us.
11
00:00:28,227 --> 00:00:30,293
A cloaking device for dorks?
12
00:00:30,295 --> 00:00:32,395
That's so crazy, it might work.
13
00:00:32,397 --> 00:00:33,897
Smith and Snot!
14
00:00:33,899 --> 00:00:35,665
The two biggest losers in the whole...
15
00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:37,701
who is that?
16
00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,770
He's beautiful.
17
00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:42,472
Glasses, weak chin, bad posture.
18
00:00:42,474 --> 00:00:44,841
Oh, sweet scoliosis.
19
00:00:44,843 --> 00:00:46,476
He's mine.
20
00:00:46,478 --> 00:00:48,645
Oh, my God, Snot!
It worked!
21
00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:50,280
Hey, new kid!
22
00:00:50,282 --> 00:00:53,316
I don't know your name,
but I don't need to.
23
00:00:53,318 --> 00:00:55,418
It's Martin.
I told you not to tell me!
24
00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,788
Your new name is Fist Catch.
25
00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:01,525
No! You're supposed to catch it
with your face!
26
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:03,493
Sorry.
My face is busy
27
00:01:03,495 --> 00:01:05,729
watching your face gets its ass kicked!
28
00:01:07,232 --> 00:01:08,431
Wah!
29
00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:09,900
Whoa.
30
00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:11,735
Finish him.
31
00:01:11,737 --> 00:01:13,403
Whoa.
32
00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:14,405
What?
33
00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:21,311
Brutality.
34
00:01:21,313 --> 00:01:23,180
You should go into radio.
35
00:01:23,182 --> 00:01:25,615
Naw, man.
I want to be a do-cent.
36
00:01:25,617 --> 00:01:28,251
At a museum.
A fancy museum.
37
00:01:28,253 --> 00:01:30,921
Get real into art.
38
00:01:33,491 --> 00:01:36,827
# Good morning, U.S.A.
39
00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:40,463
# I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day #
40
00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:43,500
# the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face #
41
00:01:43,502 --> 00:01:47,003
# and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race #
42
00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:52,843
# Oh, boy, it's swell to say
43
00:01:52,845 --> 00:01:55,345
# Good...
# Good morning, U.S.A.
44
00:02:03,589 --> 00:02:04,788
Whoa.
45
00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:06,323
Mertz is the toughest kid in school.
46
00:02:06,325 --> 00:02:07,591
H-how did you do that?
47
00:02:07,593 --> 00:02:09,893
Easy. I take karate.
48
00:02:09,895 --> 00:02:11,428
Karate is the coolest.
49
00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:12,762
I'm always saying that.
50
00:02:12,764 --> 00:02:14,431
No, Steve.
51
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:16,566
I believe you said
glitter pens were the coolest.
52
00:02:16,568 --> 00:02:19,402
Not anymore, Snot!
Karate is the coolest now.
53
00:02:19,404 --> 00:02:20,837
Yeah, it is cool.
54
00:02:20,839 --> 00:02:23,240
You guys should come take class
at my dojo.
55
00:02:23,242 --> 00:02:25,475
The only drawback is beating kids up
56
00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:28,011
keeps getting me kicked out of school.
57
00:02:28,013 --> 00:02:31,414
I'm 17 and I can't read a alphabet.
58
00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:34,451
But I know which one the moon is.
59
00:02:34,453 --> 00:02:36,286
You thinking what I'm thinking, Snot?
60
00:02:36,288 --> 00:02:38,922
We visit him in juvenile hall
every month until he gets out
61
00:02:38,924 --> 00:02:40,690
and then we all move in together?
62
00:02:40,692 --> 00:02:42,926
No! We take karate
at his dojo!
63
00:02:42,928 --> 00:02:46,029
Which we can use to break
Martin out of juvie!
64
00:02:46,031 --> 00:02:47,697
Brilliant!
No, Snot.
65
00:02:47,699 --> 00:02:50,634
I kind of just thought
we'd do this new thing.
66
00:02:50,636 --> 00:02:52,736
Forget Martin.
67
00:02:52,738 --> 00:02:55,438
Did I like Martin more than you did?!
68
00:02:57,843 --> 00:03:00,510
Punch! Punch! Ai-ya!
69
00:03:00,512 --> 00:03:01,512
Ai-ya!
70
00:03:01,513 --> 00:03:02,579
Harder!
Ai-ya!
71
00:03:02,581 --> 00:03:03,713
Angrier!
Ai-ya!
72
00:03:03,715 --> 00:03:05,482
Destroy your opponent!
Ai-ya!
73
00:03:07,586 --> 00:03:10,587
I'm Sensei Tom.
Welcome to Dojo Biden.
74
00:03:10,589 --> 00:03:12,055
You must be Snot and Steve.
75
00:03:12,057 --> 00:03:13,556
Oh, my God.
He's telepathic!
76
00:03:13,558 --> 00:03:15,492
No. Martin used
his one call from juvie
77
00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:16,927
to let me know you'd be coming.
78
00:03:16,929 --> 00:03:18,528
He has a weird family situation.
79
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,063
I'd adopt him,
but the state won't let me
80
00:03:20,065 --> 00:03:22,933
because I've never looked into
it and I can't be bothered.
81
00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:28,954
Listen, students.
82
00:03:29,077 --> 00:03:31,377
At Dojo Biden,
we care about two things...
83
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,713
the centuries-old
art of karate...
84
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,650
and current two-term
vice president Joe Biden.
85
00:03:39,754 --> 00:03:42,088
Let's see what you two are capable of.
86
00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,023
You! Glasses!
Throw a punch.
87
00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:45,391
Ai-ya-a-a...
88
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:47,493
So, capable of nothing.
89
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:48,594
Okay, you.
90
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,830
That was pathetic!
91
00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,064
You're never gonna learn to fight
92
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:54,066
unless you tap
into the anger inside you.
93
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,435
What makes you angry?
94
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,137
I don't know.
Everyone has anger.
95
00:03:58,139 --> 00:03:59,905
Erik over there has rich parents
96
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,874
and feels guilty about being white.
97
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:05,177
Marcia over there gets her
anger from her varicose veins.
98
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:07,613
She's only 14, and those never go away!
99
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:10,683
So, I'll ask you again.
What makes you angry, son?
100
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,518
Don't call me "son"!
101
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,186
There it is.
102
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:16,122
You don't like
when I call you "son."
103
00:04:16,124 --> 00:04:17,790
Dead dad, huh?
104
00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:18,792
Yes!
105
00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:20,993
Then use that and punch.
106
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,695
Unh!
Better!
107
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,830
And you must hate that
weak excuse for a mustache.
108
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,198
Ai-ya!
109
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,867
And I bet you're poor.
110
00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,635
Lucky.
111
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:30,669
Show me how angry you are.
112
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:31,804
Punch this board!
113
00:04:31,806 --> 00:04:34,073
Aiiii-ya!
114
00:04:34,075 --> 00:04:35,641
I can definitely work with you.
115
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,176
But you're gonna have to
replace this board.
116
00:04:37,178 --> 00:04:38,811
It's my seasoning shelf.
117
00:04:38,813 --> 00:04:41,514
Now, my spices are on my nunchuk rack.
118
00:04:41,516 --> 00:04:43,782
I don't even know
where my nunchuks are.
119
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,719
Let's just say I'm not ready
to have guests.
120
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,725
Ooh! Yahtzee!
On my first turn!
121
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:53,926
Here, you go.
122
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,596
And now we wait.
123
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,468
See, Francine, this is why
I can't go pi�ata shopping.
124
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,537
I just want to rescue them all.
125
00:05:04,539 --> 00:05:05,604
Wait. What's that smell?
126
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:06,972
It smells terrible.
127
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,808
Oh, Hayley, are you back
to homeopathic deodorant?
128
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,943
It's not me.
129
00:05:10,945 --> 00:05:12,578
I haven't broken a sweat in a year.
130
00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,047
What do you think it is?
131
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,716
Oh, I can't wait
to find out what it is.
132
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,885
It's a mystery.
Did you find it?
133
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,588
Oh, it's me, isn't it?
134
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:25,124
Klaus, you're an outside fish now.
135
00:05:25,126 --> 00:05:27,760
Not cool, bro!
I'm a fish!
136
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:30,162
Sometimes I smell fishy!
137
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,664
Ooh! Yahtzee!
138
00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:34,133
Uhp, nope.
Read it wrong.
139
00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:35,834
This is nothing.
140
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,105
I feel badass.
141
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,774
Yeah, this feels more serious now
142
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,209
that we're wearing these bathrobes.
143
00:05:43,211 --> 00:05:45,044
Enough chitchat.
144
00:05:45,046 --> 00:05:46,745
Now make like a woman whose
neighbor has a pet chimpanzee
145
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:47,913
and face off!
146
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,049
Ai-ya!
147
00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:52,117
Um, Mr. Sensei Tom,
are you sure
148
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,186
you want us fighting this soon?
149
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,821
We haven't been taught any moves yet.
150
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,157
Punch!
Aah!
151
00:05:58,159 --> 00:06:00,159
My shoulder!
What did you do that?!
152
00:06:00,161 --> 00:06:01,827
Steve, I'm so sorry.
153
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,229
Don't apologize.
154
00:06:03,231 --> 00:06:05,130
Your dad didn't apologize for dying.
155
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:08,534
Your jacket didn't apologize
for not having sleeves.
156
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:09,635
Use your anger!
157
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,670
Attack! Attack!
Ai-ya!
158
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:14,139
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
159
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,642
Ai-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
160
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,876
Aah! Aah! Aaaaaaah!
161
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,217
Aaaaaaaaaah!
162
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,919
Whoa.
163
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:28,087
Congratulations.
164
00:06:28,089 --> 00:06:29,888
You've unlocked your anger.
165
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,056
You're one of us now.
166
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,626
In the words
of Vice President Joe Biden,
167
00:06:33,628 --> 00:06:36,862
"You do not have permission
to use my name on your dojo."
168
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,799
Sleeveless! Sleeveless!
169
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,035
Sleeveless! Sleeveless!
170
00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:45,571
Aaaaaaaaaah!
171
00:06:48,276 --> 00:06:51,010
Aaaaaaaaaah!
172
00:06:56,055 --> 00:06:58,055
Things got pretty crazy yesterday, huh?
173
00:06:58,175 --> 00:07:00,192
I just had to jog home
174
00:07:00,194 --> 00:07:02,160
'cause I was so pumped up
from all the karate.
175
00:07:02,162 --> 00:07:03,762
Sure.
176
00:07:03,764 --> 00:07:06,832
Also, I'm kind of thinking
karate's not for us.
177
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,100
Let's just go back
178
00:07:08,102 --> 00:07:10,135
to the Steve and Snot
we know and love...
179
00:07:10,137 --> 00:07:11,636
cowering from bullies,
180
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:14,072
wearing shoes in places
where they serve food.
181
00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,807
Snot, w-where you going?
182
00:07:15,809 --> 00:07:18,377
Oh, I'm gonna go sit
with my karate friends.
183
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:19,811
They get me.
184
00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:21,880
And they don't put up with bullies.
185
00:07:21,882 --> 00:07:23,281
Plus they like it
186
00:07:23,283 --> 00:07:25,450
when I lose control
of my bottled-up anger.
187
00:07:25,452 --> 00:07:27,786
I thought we agreed
karate's not for us!
188
00:07:27,788 --> 00:07:29,621
You agreed with you, Steve.
189
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,857
You agreed.
190
00:07:31,859 --> 00:07:34,226
Yo, Sleeveless, what's up?
191
00:07:34,228 --> 00:07:36,795
Whoa. That guy
accidentally bumped you.
192
00:07:36,797 --> 00:07:39,064
You gonna let him accidentally
get away with that?
193
00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:40,866
Unleash your anger.
194
00:07:42,202 --> 00:07:44,002
Let him go, Steve.
195
00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:46,905
Snot's in an action movie now.
196
00:07:46,907 --> 00:07:49,040
Hour 36.
197
00:07:49,042 --> 00:07:52,077
The sun seems like
it comes every day now.
198
00:07:53,213 --> 00:07:55,013
The cat's back!
199
00:07:58,317 --> 00:08:00,919
What's the matter?
Kitty can't swim?
200
00:08:00,921 --> 00:08:03,355
Welcome to the water jungle, baby.
201
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:07,292
You can never get to me.
No one can get to me!
202
00:08:08,429 --> 00:08:11,763
No, no!
It never ends!
203
00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:14,699
Okay. I'm starting
to get the hang of this.
204
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:17,669
I just have to stay one step
ahead of them.
205
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:18,904
Oh, no!
206
00:08:22,442 --> 00:08:24,276
They're teaming up.
207
00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:26,711
A lizard!
208
00:08:26,713 --> 00:08:28,780
Wait.
Do lizards eat fish?
209
00:08:29,882 --> 00:08:33,351
He just wants to try it!
See if he likes it!
210
00:08:37,323 --> 00:08:39,491
This bathroom pass is fake.
211
00:08:39,493 --> 00:08:42,727
Yeah. I'm still gonna go
to the bathroom.
212
00:08:42,729 --> 00:08:45,997
Well, go to class after that.
213
00:08:48,468 --> 00:08:50,502
Snot, what are you doing here?
214
00:08:50,504 --> 00:08:53,004
This seat's for bad boys.
We're good boys.
215
00:08:53,006 --> 00:08:55,073
I got caught fighting twice today.
216
00:08:55,075 --> 00:08:57,008
Snot, w-where is this
coming from?
217
00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:59,110
I feel like Sensei Tom is turning you
218
00:08:59,112 --> 00:09:01,379
into something you're not...
an angry person.
219
00:09:01,381 --> 00:09:03,448
You walk around
looking like Tommy Lee Jones
220
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:04,816
all the time now.
221
00:09:04,818 --> 00:09:06,017
I've always been angry.
222
00:09:06,019 --> 00:09:09,754
Sensei Tom understands that, and
he's teaching me to use it.
223
00:09:09,756 --> 00:09:12,157
Lonstein, you can't come in the office
224
00:09:12,159 --> 00:09:14,459
because Marissa Stevens' mom is here.
225
00:09:14,461 --> 00:09:17,829
So listen, we have a
three-strike policy on fighting.
226
00:09:17,831 --> 00:09:20,499
You've got two.
One more and you're expelled.
227
00:09:20,501 --> 00:09:22,901
Feel me?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
228
00:09:22,903 --> 00:09:26,137
I have to go ensure that
Marissa Stevens gets an "A"
229
00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:27,806
by giving her mom a "D."
230
00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:33,311
Ai-ya!
231
00:09:35,014 --> 00:09:37,516
Uh, is it a bad time
to talk about Snot?
232
00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:39,851
His warrior name is Sleeveless.
233
00:09:39,853 --> 00:09:41,152
Okay, well, Sleeveless
234
00:09:41,154 --> 00:09:42,854
is getting in a lot
of trouble at school,
235
00:09:42,856 --> 00:09:44,923
and for some reason, he listens to you.
236
00:09:44,925 --> 00:09:46,258
So, uh, maybe you could tell him
237
00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:47,926
that everything you're teaching him
238
00:09:47,928 --> 00:09:49,561
is wrong and horrible
before he gets kicked out.
239
00:09:49,563 --> 00:09:51,263
School's not for everyone.
240
00:09:51,265 --> 00:09:53,798
You know who said that?
Joe Biden.
241
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,267
I don't think he said that.
242
00:09:55,269 --> 00:09:56,768
He has said those words.
243
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,271
Maybe not in that order,
but he has said them.
244
00:09:59,273 --> 00:10:01,373
Now, let me tell you a story
about a young kid
245
00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:04,009
who was angry at the world
and got kicked out of school.
246
00:10:04,011 --> 00:10:06,011
It was me.
247
00:10:06,013 --> 00:10:07,445
And now look where I am.
248
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:11,249
I lease a dojo.
I sleep in a dojo.
249
00:10:11,251 --> 00:10:13,351
I do my cooking and laundry in a dojo.
250
00:10:13,353 --> 00:10:15,887
And none of that would
have been possible...
251
00:10:15,889 --> 00:10:17,389
Wonderful. All right.
252
00:10:17,391 --> 00:10:19,291
I'm gonna speak a language
everyone understands.
253
00:10:19,293 --> 00:10:23,094
This is $12, which I have
a feeling you could use.
254
00:10:23,096 --> 00:10:26,097
The money is yours if you let Snot go.
255
00:10:26,099 --> 00:10:30,035
Look, I'm not gonna lie.
I could use this $12.
256
00:10:30,037 --> 00:10:32,938
Settle down with a nice ham sandwich.
257
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:34,606
But you can't put a price on anger.
258
00:10:34,608 --> 00:10:36,241
And that's what Sleeveless has.
259
00:10:36,243 --> 00:10:38,043
If you want your friend back,
260
00:10:38,045 --> 00:10:40,412
beat him in the upcoming
karate tournament.
261
00:10:40,414 --> 00:10:42,380
If I beat him, he's free?
262
00:10:42,382 --> 00:10:45,183
Is that some sort
of ancient karate code?
263
00:10:45,185 --> 00:10:47,852
No. If you beat him,
he'll be a loser,
264
00:10:47,854 --> 00:10:49,187
and I don't work with losers.
265
00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:53,091
Now, what else can I do
to earn that $12?
266
00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:57,162
Hey, dad.
267
00:10:57,164 --> 00:10:59,397
I know you took martial arts
in your C.I.A. training,
268
00:10:59,399 --> 00:11:01,466
and I was wondering
if you could teach me some.
269
00:11:01,468 --> 00:11:03,034
I have to beat Snot
in a karate tournament
270
00:11:03,036 --> 00:11:04,569
so I can save our friendship.
271
00:11:04,571 --> 00:11:08,573
There is only one thing
you need to know about karate.
272
00:11:08,575 --> 00:11:11,109
Guns beat karate every time.
273
00:11:13,312 --> 00:11:15,113
Good rap sesh, son.
274
00:11:19,885 --> 00:11:22,887
I hear you're seeking
martial arts instruction.
275
00:11:22,889 --> 00:11:25,056
Perhaps I can show you the way.
276
00:11:25,058 --> 00:11:26,458
Shouldn't you have an accent?
277
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:28,627
Uh, I moved here when I was 2.
278
00:11:28,629 --> 00:11:30,962
Lesson one...
open your mind.
279
00:11:31,999 --> 00:11:33,298
Heads up, Francine.
280
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,567
I ignored our talk
and gave Steve a gun.
281
00:11:36,969 --> 00:11:39,938
Delivery for... the Smiths?
282
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,306
Well, I didn't order anything.
283
00:11:41,308 --> 00:11:43,074
Maybe it's something Francine ordered.
284
00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:45,110
Or Hayley.
Or Steve or Roger.
285
00:11:45,112 --> 00:11:46,344
There are a lot of people
with that last name
286
00:11:46,346 --> 00:11:47,445
in this house.
287
00:11:47,447 --> 00:11:49,347
Also could be a gift from someone.
288
00:11:49,349 --> 00:11:51,616
Maybe bullock or one
of Francine's friends.
289
00:11:51,618 --> 00:11:53,118
Or a friend of Hayley's.
290
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,320
Yep, the Smiths have a lot of friends.
291
00:11:55,322 --> 00:11:56,655
Fun tidbit...
did you know
292
00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:58,523
that Dupont is like the French Smith?
293
00:11:58,525 --> 00:12:00,125
Hey, French Smith!
Remember him?
294
00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:01,393
Do you mean French Stewart?
295
00:12:01,395 --> 00:12:02,560
Sure, whatever.
I'll sign.
296
00:12:06,098 --> 00:12:07,699
It's working.
297
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:09,367
Well, I'll just leave this here.
298
00:12:09,369 --> 00:12:11,269
You've done it, Klaus.
299
00:12:11,271 --> 00:12:14,272
You're once again an inside fish.
300
00:12:14,274 --> 00:12:15,340
Ha ha!
301
00:12:15,342 --> 00:12:17,008
Outside fish, Klaus.
302
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:20,078
No! No, please!
The cats and the birds!
303
00:12:32,692 --> 00:12:35,326
Sensei Tom is teaching Snot
to fight with anger,
304
00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:37,162
so I need help harnessing mine.
305
00:12:37,164 --> 00:12:39,030
Sensei Tom.
306
00:12:39,032 --> 00:12:41,332
Did you know he lives in his dojo?
307
00:12:41,334 --> 00:12:43,702
Well, you technically live in yours.
308
00:12:43,704 --> 00:12:46,404
Lesson two... don't worry
about where I live.
309
00:12:46,406 --> 00:12:48,373
You're not an angry boy, Steve,
310
00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:49,607
so there's nothing to harness.
311
00:12:49,609 --> 00:12:51,342
But that's okay,
312
00:12:51,344 --> 00:12:53,378
because people who fight
with anger are sloppy.
313
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:57,115
You're gonna fight with cold,
calculating technique.
314
00:12:58,585 --> 00:13:01,586
# Living with my eyes closed
315
00:13:01,588 --> 00:13:04,622
# going day to day
316
00:13:04,624 --> 00:13:07,625
# I never knew the difference
317
00:13:07,627 --> 00:13:11,563
# I never cared either way
318
00:13:11,565 --> 00:13:13,598
# all fired up
319
00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:16,468
# all fired up
320
00:13:17,603 --> 00:13:19,637
# all fired up
321
00:13:21,173 --> 00:13:25,276
# all fired up, fired up,
fired up, hey!
322
00:13:25,278 --> 00:13:27,158
You're ready.
Now make me four more.
323
00:13:27,278 --> 00:13:28,920
But the tournament is in 20 minutes.
324
00:13:29,177 --> 00:13:31,578
Don't worry about time.
Let me worry about time.
325
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,913
Shit! Shit! Damn it!
We're so [bleep] late!
326
00:13:37,575 --> 00:13:38,518
Roger, I'm nervous.
327
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,520
Don't worry. You've trained.
You've prepared.
328
00:13:40,522 --> 00:13:42,088
Nothing can stop you, unless...
329
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:44,924
Oh, no. Oh, God, no!
What?!
330
00:13:44,926 --> 00:13:46,493
That guy has a better goatee than me!
331
00:13:46,495 --> 00:13:47,827
Excuse me.
332
00:13:48,085 --> 00:13:49,184
Steve, what are you doing here?
333
00:13:49,186 --> 00:13:51,019
I thought you quit karate.
334
00:13:51,021 --> 00:13:53,756
No. I'm gonna kick your ass
so we can be friends again.
335
00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:56,392
It doesn't sound like a good
plan when I say it out loud,
336
00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:57,726
but trust me, I thought it through.
337
00:13:57,728 --> 00:14:00,229
Okay, goatee disaster averted.
338
00:14:00,231 --> 00:14:02,030
See you in the finals.
339
00:14:02,032 --> 00:14:04,400
No. I'll see you
in the finals.
340
00:14:04,402 --> 00:14:07,770
Now announcing the first round draw,
341
00:14:07,772 --> 00:14:10,773
Steve Smith versus Snot Lonstein.
342
00:14:10,775 --> 00:14:14,710
So, I guess I'll see you
in the first round.
343
00:14:14,712 --> 00:14:17,713
The all-important first round
it is.
344
00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:19,948
Sleeveless! It's time.
345
00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:23,352
Well, well.
Sensei Tom.
346
00:14:23,354 --> 00:14:25,888
Sensei Ryan?
I thought you were dead.
347
00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:27,456
You wish I was dead!
348
00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,358
'Cause then you wouldn't owe me $15
349
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,859
from our last cable bill!
350
00:14:30,861 --> 00:14:32,928
I told you that I wouldn't pay for HBO!
351
00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:34,029
I don't watch it!
352
00:14:34,031 --> 00:14:35,798
I said that the day we moved in!
353
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,299
You do watch it, and I know
354
00:14:37,301 --> 00:14:39,301
you're still using my HBO Go password.
355
00:14:39,303 --> 00:14:41,503
"Water for Elephants" was
on my "Recently Watched,"
356
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,172
and I didn't watch it.
357
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,674
I saw it in the theater
like it's supposed to be seen!
358
00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:53,416
Now, welcome to the fifth annual
359
00:14:53,536 --> 00:14:56,988
Langley Falls Karate Tournament.
360
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:58,589
And guess what?
361
00:14:58,591 --> 00:15:01,592
We're only starting 20 minutes
behind schedule!
362
00:15:01,594 --> 00:15:04,228
Steve, if you get in trouble
out there, kiss him.
363
00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:05,730
It'll throw him off his game.
364
00:15:05,732 --> 00:15:07,665
And if things get really hairy,
365
00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:10,201
just give him a tap
on the ol' starfish.
366
00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:11,702
I don't know what that means.
367
00:15:11,704 --> 00:15:13,471
He'll like it.
Now get out there!
368
00:15:13,473 --> 00:15:17,575
Prepare to go down.
369
00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:19,143
Wow.
I really feel your anger.
370
00:15:19,145 --> 00:15:21,045
It'll be easy to counter
371
00:15:21,047 --> 00:15:22,513
with my cold, calculating precision.
372
00:15:22,515 --> 00:15:24,282
My sensei made me a master
373
00:15:24,284 --> 00:15:26,751
using a variety of unorthodox methods.
374
00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:29,754
I warn you, Snot.
I've been brushing wigs.
375
00:15:29,756 --> 00:15:31,155
Fight!
376
00:15:31,157 --> 00:15:32,623
Brush, brush.
377
00:15:32,625 --> 00:15:34,158
Ai-ya!
Aah!
378
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,160
Destroy him!
379
00:15:35,161 --> 00:15:37,261
Ai-ya!
380
00:15:37,263 --> 00:15:38,296
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-
ya-ya-ya-ya!
381
00:15:38,298 --> 00:15:39,630
Ow! Ow!
382
00:15:39,632 --> 00:15:41,732
Aah! Oh! Oh!
383
00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:43,701
Sensei, what do I do?!
384
00:15:43,703 --> 00:15:45,803
Starfish!
Oh!
385
00:15:47,172 --> 00:15:49,140
This kid's obviously better.
386
00:15:51,343 --> 00:15:55,046
Hey, Sensei Ryan, nice disciple.
387
00:15:55,048 --> 00:15:56,547
Shut up!
He came to me.
388
00:15:56,549 --> 00:15:58,049
I didn't choose him.
389
00:15:58,051 --> 00:16:00,251
But you chose to see
"Water for Elephants"
390
00:16:00,253 --> 00:16:01,385
on a small screen.
391
00:16:01,387 --> 00:16:02,753
You're still the tool here.
392
00:16:02,755 --> 00:16:06,757
I'm sorry, sensei.
I failed you.
393
00:16:06,759 --> 00:16:08,292
No, Steve.
It's my fault.
394
00:16:08,294 --> 00:16:10,127
Instead of teaching you karate,
395
00:16:10,129 --> 00:16:12,597
I had you make me a Martini
and give me a massage.
396
00:16:12,599 --> 00:16:14,632
Roger, I thought those were all skills
397
00:16:14,634 --> 00:16:16,100
that translate to karate.
398
00:16:16,102 --> 00:16:17,702
Really?! You did?!
399
00:16:17,704 --> 00:16:21,105
Steve, you make these wild leaps.
400
00:16:21,107 --> 00:16:23,374
Now, leaps... now, that would
have been great for karate.
401
00:16:25,812 --> 00:16:27,812
You know what's weird?
402
00:16:27,814 --> 00:16:31,182
Even though Klaus has been gone
for a while, I still smell him.
403
00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:32,316
I smell it, too.
404
00:16:34,521 --> 00:16:36,854
Yes. Yes.
405
00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:40,658
Smell it.
Smell all of me.
406
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:41,759
It's getting stronger!
407
00:16:46,799 --> 00:16:48,766
Congratulations.
408
00:16:48,768 --> 00:16:52,370
You're outside people now.
409
00:16:59,745 --> 00:17:02,480
There are an awful lot of cats
back here.
410
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:04,782
And... and birds.
411
00:17:04,784 --> 00:17:06,417
I-I was getting to you.
412
00:17:08,687 --> 00:17:13,157
Don't worry, guys.
I'll be fine.
413
00:17:13,159 --> 00:17:14,225
Meow.
414
00:17:16,629 --> 00:17:18,596
I saved a seat for Snot.
415
00:17:18,598 --> 00:17:22,366
You can release it
to the general population.
416
00:17:22,368 --> 00:17:23,634
We've lost him.
417
00:17:23,636 --> 00:17:25,236
I've lost him.
Whoa!
418
00:17:25,238 --> 00:17:27,271
Snot's about to beat
somebody up in the quad!
419
00:17:27,273 --> 00:17:29,507
By the bike racks!
In the northwest corner!
420
00:17:29,509 --> 00:17:32,209
Right by the bike that belonged
to that kid who died
421
00:17:32,211 --> 00:17:34,412
and now serves as a grim
reminder of his passing!
422
00:17:34,414 --> 00:17:35,814
Some say if you feel a cool breeze,
423
00:17:35,815 --> 00:17:37,315
it's him whistling, but it's not true!
424
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,216
When your body dies,
your soul dies with it!
425
00:17:39,218 --> 00:17:41,552
Anyway, if you hit the library,
you've gone too far!
426
00:17:44,323 --> 00:17:46,223
Oh, no.
If he gets in one more fight,
427
00:17:46,225 --> 00:17:47,925
he's gonna get kicked out of school!
428
00:17:47,927 --> 00:17:51,295
Which means it's our last chance
to see him in action!
429
00:17:51,297 --> 00:17:53,931
No, it means we have
to stop him! Let's go!
430
00:17:54,733 --> 00:17:56,233
Finish it.
431
00:17:56,235 --> 00:17:57,268
What?
432
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:58,869
Finish it!
433
00:18:00,606 --> 00:18:04,275
It's weird that you care about this.
434
00:18:07,981 --> 00:18:09,914
Snot, wait!
You can't do this!
435
00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:12,383
You're gonna get kicked out of school!
436
00:18:12,385 --> 00:18:14,518
Sensei Tom says I don't need school.
437
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:15,786
Sensei Tom's a loser.
438
00:18:15,788 --> 00:18:17,521
He lives above his dojo
439
00:18:17,523 --> 00:18:20,524
and steals his wi-fi
from the H&R block next door.
440
00:18:20,526 --> 00:18:23,294
Look, I tried to save you
by fighting you,
441
00:18:23,296 --> 00:18:24,695
but I'm not a fighter.
442
00:18:24,697 --> 00:18:27,598
So I'm gonna save you
with love, not anger.
443
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,766
Eh!
444
00:18:28,768 --> 00:18:30,401
Steve, what are you doing?!
445
00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:32,570
I'm showing you I love you, Snot!
446
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:34,405
And you have two strikes!
447
00:18:34,407 --> 00:18:36,641
I'm taking this strike for you!
448
00:18:36,643 --> 00:18:37,975
Ah! Ow!
449
00:18:37,977 --> 00:18:40,778
But you're not a bad boy, Steve!
450
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,080
Neither are you!
451
00:18:43,082 --> 00:18:46,317
This all started 'cause
you didn't want to be bullied,
452
00:18:46,319 --> 00:18:47,685
and now you're doing it!
453
00:18:47,687 --> 00:18:49,854
Sure, you've got a lot
to be angry about,
454
00:18:49,856 --> 00:18:52,356
b-but you've also got
a lot to be happy about.
455
00:18:52,358 --> 00:18:53,891
Ooh!
456
00:18:53,893 --> 00:18:55,426
Like your friends that care about you.
457
00:18:55,428 --> 00:18:57,695
Aah! Ow!
458
00:18:57,697 --> 00:19:01,465
Remember when you and I had
lunch together that one time?
459
00:19:04,369 --> 00:19:07,905
Please let me know as soon
as I've gotten through to you.
460
00:19:07,907 --> 00:19:09,573
Because I've reached a point
461
00:19:09,575 --> 00:19:11,475
where even the NFL
wouldn't clear me to play.
462
00:19:11,477 --> 00:19:13,310
"American Dad!" stands with
463
00:19:13,312 --> 00:19:16,547
the National Football League
Players Association.
464
00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:18,449
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!
465
00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:20,518
I mean, break it up, kids.
466
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,255
Steve, that's strike one,
and you don't get a second.
467
00:19:24,257 --> 00:19:25,656
No, wait.
You get three.
468
00:19:25,658 --> 00:19:28,426
You hear that, everybody?
You get two free fights!
469
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,760
I expect you to use them!
470
00:19:29,762 --> 00:19:31,762
Thanks, Steve.
471
00:19:31,764 --> 00:19:35,833
Your love made me realize
that anger isn't all I am.
472
00:19:35,835 --> 00:19:38,302
And instead of using my anger to fight,
473
00:19:38,304 --> 00:19:40,638
I should bottle it up
and only let it out
474
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,606
when I can no longer control it.
475
00:19:42,608 --> 00:19:47,812
Maybe in, like, 20 years,
quietly, victim by victim.
476
00:19:49,581 --> 00:19:53,350
You're gonna be in therapy
for a long time, buddy.
477
00:19:57,923 --> 00:20:00,558
Stan, you're never getting back in!
478
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,627
I've got a delivery for Klaus Heissler.
479
00:20:03,629 --> 00:20:05,730
Ooh. Hello.
480
00:20:05,732 --> 00:20:07,965
I wonder what it is.
481
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,500
Oh, it's big.
482
00:20:09,502 --> 00:20:10,901
It's so big!
483
00:20:10,903 --> 00:20:12,503
And it's all for me!
484
00:20:12,505 --> 00:20:15,773
Uh, what could it be?
Maybe a giant aquarium?
485
00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:18,809
Maybe it's a lifetime supply
of fish food.
486
00:20:18,811 --> 00:20:21,779
Or maybe it's Stan,
Francine, and Hayley.
487
00:20:21,781 --> 00:20:23,547
All right, guys.
488
00:20:23,549 --> 00:20:25,783
Truce.
Welcome home.
489
00:20:37,095 --> 00:20:38,929
He's opening it.
It's working!
490
00:20:38,931 --> 00:20:42,800
Oh, no!
Not the kitties and the birdies!
491
00:20:42,802 --> 00:20:44,368
Aaah!
No! No, no, no!
492
00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:46,403
Oh! Aah! Ouch!
493
00:20:46,405 --> 00:20:47,805
Once they've taken care of Klaus,
494
00:20:47,807 --> 00:20:49,707
the house will be ours again.
495
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,108
No! Aah!
496
00:20:52,745 --> 00:20:56,781
I killed them.
I killed them all!
497
00:20:56,783 --> 00:20:58,783
Do you hear that, Stan?!
498
00:20:58,785 --> 00:21:02,186
Ha! Nice try!
35108
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