Original subtitles

I Don'’t want to argue about this.

My environmental group

is meeting here today and that'’s final.

But we are still airing out the place from last time.

News flash: Natural deodorant does not work.

Morgan, they'’re great people.

I mean, they'’re a little pasty, a little furry, a little gamey,

but great people.

Well, i'’m out of here.

Sabrina, do you want to go to the mall?

Sorry, i'’m already going shopping with my boyfriend.

Wow. When a guy goes shopping,

it'’s definitely love.

♪ Life'’s changing around me, and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

I need some of your long-lasting mascara.

Oh, you Don'’t need that.

You look great without makeup.

Actually, I Don'’t think you'’ve ever seen me without...

Thank you.

Yeah.

Wrap it up.

Hey, guys.

Hey, I see you'’re just browsing today.

Whoa, you okay?

Yeah, it'’s these new mules.

They'’re stylish, but not great for walking.

Then why'’d you buy them?

Oh, you have so much to learn about women.

We'’re a mystery.

Well, i'’m heading up to the fifth floor.

There'’s a buyer up there that wants to look at my designs

and I have a feeling that today

might be my lucky...

Morgan, watch out!

[ Screaming]

Did you just see that?

I almost died.

Thank god for that wind.

And for my little wind maker.

Wait, that didn'’t sound right.

And then, just as I was about to plummet to my death,

this huge gust of wind swept me right back up on my feet.

And Sabrina was completely useless.

She just stood there, pointing.

Hey, i'’ll have you know that...

If that ever happens again, I promise I won'’t point.

Morgan: You know,

this whole near-death thing

has really gotten me thinking.

I Don'’t want to be remembered

just for my fashion sense and great hair.

I want to be remembered

for-for being a do-gooder.

But one that looks pretty and smells nice.

Morgan, that'’s fantastic.

And i'’ll support you in anything you decide to do.

I'’m coming to your environmental meeting.

Anything but that.

Rox, come on.

Morgan wants to get involved

with someone other than herself.

Okay, fine, you can help me collate the handouts.

There you go, Morgan.

Collating handouts to save the trees...

Which are then cut down to make paper,

which, ironically, are what the handouts are made of.

There you go.

Great dirty denims... If you'’re a sharecropper.

And where did you get these earrings?

Because I am never shopping there.

[ Laughing]

Okay, who are you, why are you here

and does sister Mary Elizabeth know you'’re skipping class?

Salem: Sabrina. Heh.

These girls aren'’t ditching p.E.

We'’re the fates.

The fates?

You mean the three girls who manipulate

innocent people'’s lives with cruel, random acts?

So you'’ve heard of us? Cool. I'’m Paris.

MacKenzie.ashley.

I'’m hoping this is just a social call.

And you'’re right, i'’m never wearing those jeans again.

Am I?

Ooh, can I tell her why we'’re here? Please?

Yeah, if I want it to come out all wrong.

MacKenzie, go.

We weave a tapestry of every person'’s life,

and when it'’s time for that person to die,

we snip the thread. Snip.

Today was Morgan Cavanaugh'’s time to die.

But we didn'’t get to snip.

Do you know why?

Because of that freaky, unexplained gust of wind?

I mean, lucky break, huh?

You owe us, big time.

Huge time.

Yeah, really big, huge time.

[ Quietly]: Sorry.

Look, I had to save Morgan'’s life.

I had no choice.

Uh, we make the choices, not you.

I hope you'’re in the mood for something horrific.

It'’s payback time.

Paris: But first,

mall time.

Let'’s motor.

[Buzzing]

Paris: Left shoulder, zeppo.

Salem: Well,

it'’s been nice knowing you, sab.

Oh, come on, they'’re schoolgirls.

What are they going to do, say I can'’t have lunch

at the cool table? Been there.

Let me put it this way...

They gave Lincoln his theater tickets!

What am I going to do?

I can'’t take on the fates.

You could do what I always do: Cull the weak one from the herd

and attack her from behind a big rock.

Salem, that'’s perfect.

Of course, whenever I do that,

I get the tar kicked out of me.

[ Sobbing]

Okay, hold still, Ashley.

Oh!

Oh, bummer, I slipped.

Good luck with that.

[ Snickering]

You guys!

Excuse me.

Do you have anything that will remove this?

Absolutely.

Sabrina?

Ashley! Now isn'’t this a coinkidink?

There we go. All gone.

You know, you have the most beautiful features.

I do?

Hello? Look at your nose.

I mean, you could be a nose model.

You know, you could do commercials for tissues

and cold medicine, you name it.

Nasal spray?

Absolutely.

Now, hold still.

So, how are you guys planning on killing me?

I couldn'’t possibly tell you that.

Oh. You have the most gorgeous lashes.

Okay. Paris wanted some serious dismemberment,

and MacKenzie was lobbying for leprosy,

but we settled on you tripping over a rug this afternoon,

hitting your head on the banister

and going into a coma.

Wow. That'’s both horrific and boring.

Ashley, can we talk girl to goddess?

Look, i'’m really sorry that I stepped in

and saved Morgan'’s life,

but she'’s one of my best friends.

You'’d do the same thing for a friend, right?

If I had any.

Well, you'’ve got one now.

You know, unless I should bash my head in

and fall into a coma... How much fun would I be then?

Well... I suppose I could reweave your tapestry.

Hey, there'’s an idea.

But i'’d have to ask Paris and MacKenzie first.

No, no, uh... They'’re not the boss of you.

I mean, Don'’t you decide your own fate?

Ha, ha, ha, get it?

[ Laughing]

No.

But...

You still have to be punished for that whole Morgan thing.

Right.

Well, how about

if instead of the coma, I stub my toe?

I mean, that hurts like the dickens,

and I did just get a pedicure.

I'’ll see what I can do.

Here, take some free blush.

Not that you need it.

Whew!

Please let me stub my toe, please let me stub my toe.

No...!

[ Grunts]

Ow! Ow!

Wait, yay!

I'’m alive! Ooh, ow again.

Oh, thank you, Ashley!

Are you okay?

Yeah. Honestly, i'’ve never been better.

Carry on saving the planet.

So, as I was saying, if we Don'’t act soon,

these woods will be turned into a parking lot.

Well, can you tell them to make the spaces

wide enough to fit my Boxster?

I know it'’s little,

but I like to park diagonally.

It'’s prettier in profile.

Remember how I was so worried about her embarrassing me?

Well, we rounded that corner about 40 minutes ago

when she served veal kabobs.

Ooh, are there any left?

So I can throw them out.

Morgan is just new at this.

You know you have to help her out, show her the ropes.

And someday, i'’m sure she'’ll make you proud.

Guess what? I just signed us up

for an all-night rave at big oak.

It'’s not a rave, it'’s a protest.

And big oak is not a club, it'’s a tree!

I'’m not following.

You just volunteered us to sleep in a tree.

Sabrina: See?

Aren'’t you proud of her now?

Got to go.

Oh, no, you'’re back.

I mean... welcome back.

You know, there is a whole slew

of fashion Don'’ts in the other room

just waiting to be humiliated.

We are furious.

How dare you take advantage of Ashley.

That is ourjob.

We are so getting you back,

and it is going to be gnarly.

MacKenzie: And ugly.

Yeah, really gnarly and ugly... too.

Come on, i'’m in a really good place right now.

I'’m not ready to be snipped, gnarled or coma'’d.

Please, please Don'’t mess up my life.

Hey, how'’s the love of my life?

You, uh, ready to grab a bite?

No, not now. Now is not a good time.

So... who is this?

No one. No one at all.

Just some wandering vagabond.

Take some bread and be gone!

"Love of my life," huh?

Uh, Sabrina, what'’s going on?

Just some local cheerleaders selling candy bars,

which I promise to buy thousands of

if you'’ll just skip along your merry way.

He is so cute.

Cute? He is drop-dead gorgeous.

Emphasis on the "drop dead."

No!

Hey, hey, hey, Sabrina, let the girl talk.

I guess we should be going.

Um, Sabrina, you'’re a tough customer,

but we'’ll figure out a way to get to you.

And I think we just did.

Snip, snip.

No! Anything but the snip!

I just like you with long hair.

And breathing.

Fate, fate...

"twist of... Fickle finger of..."

Why isn'’t there anything about stopping fate?

I mean, who knows what they'’re going to do to Aaron

unless I come up with something?

Oh, boy.

Here'’s something.

"To cheat death, the fates must be thwarted three times."

"Thwarted"? Who am I, Batman?

Mm.

Ah, thanks.

Don'’t eat that!

Why not?

Because it could kill you...

Like meat does

when it'’s improperly prepared

or laced with strychnine.

Ugh! Who puts Swiss cheese on a burger?

Um, the cook when you order it that way?

Thanks.

Any issue with the fries?

No, i'’m sure they'’re fine.

[ Coughing]

Not fine.

[ Coughs]

Thanks.

You ever heard of the heimlich maneuver?

Uh, I prefer the pez maneuver...

But at least you'’re safe...

Unless that'’s where I lost my charm bracelet.

Hey, aren'’t those the girls that I just saw at your house?

No. All teenagers

look alike... Sullen and unemployed...

And vindictive.

Well, anyway, that'’s enough eating.

Time to walk it off.

Obesity... America'’s silent killer.

Hey! You know, I still have to pay for that burger.

It'’s okay; I'’m running a tab.

Flying death stars... get down!

"Flying death stars"?

Over at that Chinese restaurant over there.

Oh, but spicy? Yeah, that'’s the death part.

Let'’s go.

Well, this could turn out okay.

I mean, as long as we'’re up in this tree,

they can'’t chop it down.

But it might get a little tight

once the rest of my luggage arrives.

Morgan, I think you'’re missing the whole point of this.

We'’re supposed to be at one with nature.

Well, i'’m sitting on 50 yards of leather.

What could be more natural than that?

Only 23 hours and 49 minutes left to go.

[ Phone ringing]

Hello.

Wow, great reception up here.

And each minute more excruciating than the last.

[ Laughing]: Sabrina, is there a problem?

No, no problem.

The world'’s just a big, scary place is all.

[ Horn honking]No, no!

There will be no street- crossing on my watch.

Aw, but mom, all the other kids

are allowed to cross the street.

Oh, well, if all the other kids

wanted to jump off a cliff, would...?

Look, I just want you to be safe.

I got to watch what I say.

Hey, looks like rain.

[ Clanking]

Well, that was very looney tunes.

Sabrina, what is with the umbrella?

It'’s a beautiful day.

You know what?

It isa beautiful day.

[ Phone ringing]Oh, excuse me.

It is a beautiful day

because I have thwarted you three times... count them.

French fry in the gullet, ninja death stars to the head,

safe falling from the sky. Ha!

♪ You lose, I win, you lose, I win ♪

♪ you can'’t kill my boyfriend now, Whoo-hoo! ♪

Sabrina, you'’re never going to believe this.

I'’m the new head of a&r

for Warner records in Los Angeles.

You'’re moving to L.A.?

Yeah, and I start tomorrow.

Well, what about...?

Maybe we can'’t kill him,

but good luck with that long-distance thing.

You'’re breaking us up?

[ Giggling]

You lose, we win.

♪ You lose, we win, you lose... ♪

Whoo-hoo!

And through this affirmation,

the trees and mankind will live in peace and Harmony.

And double pepperoni.

Do you mind?

I'’m trying to commune with nature.

And I am trying to commun-icate with the pizza guy.

Okay.

After the fields,

you'’ll pass some bushes and a creek,

and then, we'’re sitting on top

of this big brown and green thingy.

Hey, Sabrina, what do you think of this?

"Aaron was a good man with particularly good hair."

They'’re not killing him.

Now the plaid princesses are trying to break us up

by moving him to L.A.,

but i'’m not going to let that happen.

They'’re not the only ones that can do a little weaving.

[ Chuckling]: Lots of luck.

You can'’t even thread a needle.

Maybe not, but you can.

¿Que?

Wow. This is the first den of evil i'’ve ever been in

with pink shag carpeting.

I wish I could say the same.

Oh, man, I miss hanging out with Elvis.

Salem, focus.

We have to find Aaron'’s tapestry.

Uh, is it this one on the loom with his name on it?

Good focusing.

Oh, look at all the knots.

Poor Aaron.

When he grows a tail, i'’ll throw a pity party.

But in the meantime, we'’ve got a little reweaving to do.

Any chance this is a weave-by-number?

Well, I can kiss this manicure good-bye,

but I think I still got myself a boyfriend.

Sabrina, i'’ve been looking all over for you.

Guess what?

I'’m not moving to Los Angeles after all.

Well, isn'’t that a shocker?

No, i'’m moving to Laos.

Well, now, that really isa shocker.

Would you excuse me for a moment?

Sabrina, i'’ve got some bad news.

You'’re still moving to Laos?

No, but i'’ve been doing some research,

and I think I have rickets.

Please tell me you'’re praying

because you'’ve been cured of rickets

and you'’re not moving to Laos.

No.

I'’ve had an epiphany.

I'’m going to join a nunnery.

Your turn.

How'’s it going?

For a cat who'’s weaving

with paws on a loom, remarkable.

[ Clearing throat]

Oh, hi.

Uh, oh, this isn'’t Atlantic city.

No wonder I couldn'’t find the nickel slots.

Got to go. Bye.

Give me Sabrina'’s tapestry.

Now we'’re really going to have some fun.

[ All giggling]

Well, now you'’ve reallydone it.

Sabrina was a good woman with particularly good hair.

Hey, it still works.

Cute. Let'’s see you weave your way

out of an animal shelter once i'’m gone. [ Doorbell rings]

[ Knock at door]Oh...

Sabrina, listen, before I go to L.A.,

there'’s something I want to talk to you about.

Oh, no.

Here it comes.

Okay, i'’m ready.

Just make it quick.

You know, I knew I was going to ask you this

from the moment that I first met you,

and I just realized

what am I waiting for?

Sabrina...

Will you marry me?

What?! Are you insane?

You Don'’t want to marry me!

Yes, I do.

I love you.

Sabrina, we belong together.

It'’s fate.

Yeah, you better believe it'’s fate.

Okay, this is just getting ridiculous!

All right, you little delinquents,

it'’s recess at St. brat'’s.

Look, all I did was save my friend'’s life,

and all you'’ve done since then is try to ruin mine.

Forcing Aaron to propose

makes a mockery of our entire relationship.

This ends here and now.

Well, aren'’t you the little drama queen?

First of all,

we Don'’t have to ruin your life.

You'’re an expert at doing that all by yourself.

Just look at your tapestry.

And second...

We had nothing to do

with Mr. Honey man popping the question.

But what about the ring?

Oh, he got that last... Thursday.

But that was before any of this started.

Uh-huh.

So, you just sat back and watched me destroy

the most significant and special moment

of my entire life?

Oh, yeah.

We had popcorn, and everything.

[ Giggling]

Well, that explains the butter and salt

all over my teen years.

Are you sure you Don'’t want some pizza?

No, I Don'’t want some pizza,

and I Don'’t want a facial, and I Don'’t want a manicure,

and I Don'’t want to borrow your scented buckwheat pillow.

Why not?

Because this is a protest, not a day at the spa.

I'’m protesting.

Hardly.

I Don'’t know what you are getting so upset about.

You'’re the one who'’s always telling me

to think about what'’s important.

Well, you know what'’s important to me?

Having a good time.

Enjoying life.

Just '’cause you'’re giving back to society

doesn'’t mean you have to suffer.

Yes, it does.

That'’s how it'’s done.

Why?

Well, because it'’s...

You see...

Oh, just read the newsletter.

You sure you Don'’t want any pizza?

It'’s veggie.

Well, maybe just one piece.

Salem, is there any chance that Aaron is just in the other room

laughing over the callous, uncaring way

I rejected his marriage proposal?

No, but I got a little chuckle out of it.

Woman [ Over P.A.]: Flight 8-9-2 is now boarding.

All passengers please...

Hi, there.

Hi.

Hello, Sabrina.

Aaron, you'’ve got to believe me...

I'’m really sorry.

I guess I just didn'’t think you were sincere

about proposing to me.

What part seemed insincere...

Me offering you the diamond ring

or getting down on my knees and baring my soul?

It'’s sounding a lot more sincere now.

Look, I know how you must feel.

I mean, you must be totally humiliated,

completely embarrassed.

Yeah, I was there... thanks.

Well, I just came here to say I love you...

And that I knew we belonged together

the very first moment I saw you.

Now, that sounded sincere.

You should have heard it when isaid it.

Would you mind if we...?

You know, and for the record,

if you ever felt like proposing to me again,

I could pretty much guarantee

that my answer would be different,

and you wouldn'’t even have to have the ring with you...

but if you did, that would be nice, too.

You know, some people might call me an idiot.

I Don'’t care.

Man: Hey, idiot,

you'’re kneeling in gum.

And I Don'’t care.

Sabrina, will you...

Yes.

Wait for me to finish?

Sorry. Right, right.

Please go on.

[ Sighing]

Sabrina...

will you marry me?

Yes!

[ Chuckling]

Oh, this is how I always pictured it would be.

What, being proposed to in a crowded airport

by a guy with gum on his pants?

No, being proposed to by you.

The gum is just a nice touch.

Okay, guys, shift'’s over.

Oh, no, we'’re not going anywhere.

We are committed to this big old tree.

And having fun doing it.

There'’s nothing that could possibly get us

to leave this tree.

Guess what, guys?

I'’m getting married!

We'’re out of here.

[ Squealing and giggling]