Original subtitles

Forget it, spellman.

From crazed hockey fan to arm candy

in the same outfit?

Ain'’t gonna happen.

Why Don'’t they make a cocktail dress

that'’s low cut in the back with numbers on the front?

You'’re on your own.

I'’ve got to find something.

These are important clients of Aaron'’s,

and I promised Harvey i'’d make it to his game.

You know, i'’m not the kind of girl

who just ditches her friends the minute she gets a boyfriend.

How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

[ Doorbell rings]

Well, here'’s your chance to redeem yourself.

That'’s Aaron... go entertain him for a few minutes.

No problem.

And not by playing

"have you ever dated two roommates at the same time?"

Oh. Well, i'’ll come up with something.

I wish i'’d picked up my black pants from the dry cleaner.

Just spitballing, but maybe you could work out

this seemingly unsolvable conundrum

by using a little magic.

Ooh, it seems someone'’s 14-hour power nap paid off.

Excellent.

Uh, nice try.

Pants are seven bucks.

Oh, it says here they do fur.

Salem: Fur?

[ Whimpering]: Oh, no, come on. Okay, not funny.

Oh, please, no no, no! No!

Light starch, please.

♪ Life'’s changing around me, and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

My friends are going to kill me.

I missed the game, I missed the pizza party...

And you'’re about to miss a kiss.

Oh, well, I have my priorities.

And i'’m sure your friends will understand.

You'’re right. I mean, these things happen.

It'’s not like it was anyone'’s fault.

It was Aaron'’s fault.

Hi, Aaron Jacobs.

Scapegoat.

An escaped goat?

Oh, come on, Sabrina.

You can come up with a better excuse than that.

Sadly, no.

Look, i'’m really sorry, you guys.

Roxie: Don'’t worry about it.

It was no biggy saving two seats in the front row.

You know how sweet and understanding hockey fans are.

No, look, Sabrina'’s right.

It really was my fault.

We got stuck at this dumb, boring work thing.

Yeah, we had to meet people at the four seasons,

and it turned out Adam sandler was staying there,

so we got to go up to his suite and he was really funny.

In a dumb, boring sort of way.

Smooth. Look, you'’re not really mad, are you, kinkle?

I mean, what do you play? Like 80 games in a season?

I'’m cool. I'’ve got another one tomorrow.

I'’m sure I can score the winning goal two games in a row.

Perfect. We'’ll be there.

We wouldn'’t miss it for the world.

The world, no, but a world premiere, yes.

I was going to surprise you

with tickets to the Boston film festival.

Oh, i'’ve always wanted to...

How about Wednesday?

Ah, Wednesday, you promised to help me do my hair.

Can'’t roxie help you?

I'’d love to, except I already made plans

with you to try that new yoga place,

and Harvey'’s coming with.

Ooh, Wednesday. You know, we got to go to that thing...

Yeah, i'’ll be there, and there, and there.

What about me?

And there. So there.

Oh, let'’s say good night.

Out there.

Okay, Morgan on Tuesday, i'’m with roxie on Friday.

Oh, Harvey'’s hockey game!

Maybe i'’ll convince him to take up baseball.

I'’m wide open in June.

You know, if you'’re having trouble scheduling,

I make a great gal Friday, but I will need Fridays off.

I'’ve got everything perfectly under control.

I just need to do a little juggling.

Then you have come to the right place.

Whoa. Okay, i'’ve always dreamed

of running off and joining the circus,

but I never thought the circus would run off and join me.

Uh, would you mind telling me what you are doing here

and why i'’m dressed like a Russian figure skater?

I'’ve nothing but your interests at heart, mademoiselle.

I pitch my tent, wherever and whenever

I find a witch whose life is seriously...

Out of balance.

Okay, usually i'’m the first to beat a metaphor to death,

but, uh, my life is totally balanced.

Something tells me otherwise.

Well, the only thing i'’m trying to balance right now

are my friends and my new boyfriend.

I gave up on my checkbook years ago.

Well, then if your life is as in balance as you say,

you should have no trouble crossing a tightrope

while you juggle these.

Aaron: The movie, Sabrina.

Morgan: My hair.

Roxie: Sabrina, yoga tomorrow.

Harvey: Hockey game.

All right, jeez, I get it.

Obviously, the French aren'’t masters of subtlety.

But you'’re crazy if you think

i'’m going up there on that tightrope.

Unless I should happen to find myself

50 feet in the air with no way down.

Maybe I am right,

maybe I am wrong.

There is only one way to see.

Great.

A foreign double-talking huckster with bad eyes.

Well, i'’ll show you my life'’s in balance.

Prepare to be dazzled.

Okay, not too bad.

Hey, i'’m actually pretty good at...

[ Screams]

Falling!

You know, in my defense, those balls were a little slippery.

I mean, Morgan uses tons of moisturizer.

I do not think your slippery friend is the problem.

Okay. You know, maybe my life is a little bit out of balance,

but it shouldn'’t be too hard to fix.

I hope not.

Because until you make it to the far platform,

cirque du Sabrina is here to stay.

Okay, nobody likes a showoff.

Roxie, Morgan, get out here now!

House meeting.

What'’s going on?

I was just having that dream

where you'’re at school and you have to take a test

and you realize that you haven'’t dated the professor.

Okay, look, I can'’t keep juggling everyone.

So, Morgan, you'’re going to have to find

someone else to help you with your hair.

Roxie, I can'’t make yoga this week.

I know it sounds harsh, but it had to be said.

You couldn'’t have waited until the morning to say it?

Well, I thought I might get

a better night'’s sleep if I said it now.

Oh, as long as youget a good night'’s sleep.

Are we done here?

Yeah, yeah.

Meeting adjourned.

If I have bags under my eyes

in the morning, she is so dead.

Well, that was easy.

Nothing is ever that easy.

I wonder if you can fumigate for circus folk.

I can'’t believe I had to spend the night on the couch

just because the stupid circus came to town.

Juggling Jacques insists that my life is out of balance,

but everything seems perfect.

Mm-hmm.

What about Aaron, the jealous boyfriend?

What? Aaron has nothing to be jealous of.

What about your ex-boyfriend always hanging around?

Harvey? That'’s ridiculous.

He'’s not always hanging around here.

Hey, Sabrina.

I'’m out of coffee.

You guys got any fresh?

Ha!

What? We make good coffee.

No guy wants his girlfriend hanging around with her ex.

Trust me. I know these things.

I'’m a man.

Turned into a cat.

Turned into a clown.

Oh, kill me now.

You guys got any half and half?

No, just chocolate milk.

Even better.

Oh, my... [ gasps]

That'’s just what Harvey said.

"Oh, my... [ gasps]"

Sabrina, tell Morgan how great her hair looks.

I mean, once I add the relaxer,

the toner, the neutralizer...

The hat?

Which you will never need again

with such beautiful hair.

Well, caffeine and chocolate beverage craving satisfied.

I am out of here.

See you, Sabrina.

Bye, roxie.

Morgan...

You'’re in my prayers.

He is so sweet.

Yeah, listen, let me ask you something.

I know this is going to sound crazy, but...

Do you think there is any chance

that Aaron might be slightly jealous of Harvey?

Uh, yeah.

Jeez, even the cat could have told you that.

Yeah, well, i'’m not going to take hisword for it.

I mean, uh...

Aaron has never been anything

but nice to Harvey.

Don'’t you ever notice

whenever Harvey comes up with a plan

Aaron immediately comes up with a counterplan?

"Sabrina, I got you a surprise... Film festival tickets."

Not too obvious.

Morgan: Face it.

You'’ve got yourself a jealous boyfriend,

and unfortunately, jealousy is the worst quality

a boyfriend can have... Aside from poverty.

Come on, there'’s no way

Aaron is even remotely jealous of Harvey.

Of course i'’m jealous of Harvey.

Hey, give me a blue on four, Perry.

But Harvey'’s my oldest friend.

I'’ve known him for years.

Yeah, and he was your boyfriend for four of them.

I mean, what would you say if I kept

dragging you off to one of my ex'’s hockey games?

I'’d say, "is there something you want to tell me?"

Look, Harvey is

so far past being an ex, he'’s a "y."

Look, say what you want,

I just Don'’t like having him around.

Hey, Perry, give me a red on the three panel.

All right, relationships are about compromise,

but this isn'’t one of those times.

Harvey is my friend

and I Don'’t think I want to be with someone

who is going to dictate who I see and who I Don'’t.

You can'’t just order me around.

Stand over there, will you?

All right, sure.

No. Listen!

There is nothing going on between me and Harvey.

If you can'’t believe that and get over it, then I Don'’t know

what else I can say.

I Don'’t know how to get out of here.

Thanks, Perry!

Turns out my problem wasn'’t scheduling.

My life is out of balance

because I have a jealous boyfriend.

Ah, jealousy.

It brings nothing but sorrow,

and bad country western songs.

Well, anyway, i'’ve taken care of it, so i'’m ready...

Would a little warning be too much to ask?

Hey, ma, look at me! I'’m tightrope walking.

Aaron: Hey, Sabrina.

Aaron?

What? I thought we already settled this.

Harvey: Hi, Sabrina.

Harvey!

[ Screams]

What the heck was that all about?

I do not think the jealous boyfriend is your problem.

Well, then what is?

Me.

I'’m still in love with you, Sabrina.

Why couldn'’t I have just gotten a circus with some cotton candy

and the occasional rampaging elephant?

Sabrina, what'’s wrong?

Harvey is still in love with me.

That'’s fantastic!

What? No, it'’s not!

Yes, it is!

This kind of gossip will keep Morgan distracted for hours.

Come on, walk and talk.

Roxie, this is a serious problem!

Okay, I guess having your own personal troll doll

also qualifies as a problem, but...

I know you said that I have to wait

until you'’re done, but I have got to look.

Harvey'’s still in love with Sabrina.

What? Get out.

That'’s unbelievable.

[ Phone rings]What was I just going to do?

I can'’t believe I accused Aaron of being consumed

by the green-eyed monster, when he was just being perceptive.

Hello?

Aaron? Wow, you really are perceptive.

Listen, Sabrina,

i'’m really sorry about this whole Harvey thing.

You were completely right about everything.

Just my luck, I finally find a guy who actually listens to me.

And as proof of my sincerity,

I just called Harvey and asked him

to join us at the club tonight.

He loved the idea.

Color me shocked.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know

that I heard what you were saying, and i'’m sorry.

Oh, you are the greatest boyfriend ever.

And I am the worst girlfriend ever.

Sabrina, why are you getting so worked up about this?

This is Harvey'’s problem.

It'’s not your fault that he'’s not over you.

Odd, but not your fault.

Good point, Morgan.

I mean, is anything ever really anyone'’s... fault?

Morgan: You guys broke up years ago.

You can'’t control someone'’s feelings.

You know, you'’re absolutely right.

I have never been anything

but completely open and honest with Harvey.

I'’ve definitely never led him on.

This isn'’t my problem.

This is Harvey'’s problem.

The circus should be in his room.

As the old saying goes.

Oh, wait, now I remember what I was going to do.

You were going to come with me to find out

Harvey'’s side of the story.

While I work on mine.

So you see, there'’s nothing I can do.

I can'’t stop Harvey from having feelings for me.

You know, unless, of course, I get roxie to do my hair.

Would you stop doing that?

You say he cannot change his feelings,

but what if he never had these feelings at all?

Oh, that'’s just crazy circus talk.

No, it'’s not.

That'’s exactly what I need to do.

How exactly would I do that?

The feelings that upset you today

are connected to those from yesterday.

And the day before that...

Look, i'’m not still in love with Sabrina.

She'’s a good friend, I care about her a lot,

but that'’s as far as it goes.

So what'’s the damage?

Damage? There'’s no damage.

Morgan just felt like wearing a scarf.

No. What do we owe?

Oh!

And it seems our kinkle

truly doth protest too much.

Just good friends, huh?

Do you carry around pictures of all your friends?

No, it'’s just...

The last photo of me with all my real teeth.

You catch the puck with your face a couple dozen times,

you start remembering to wear your mouth guard.

Harvey...

Okay, it was our first Valentine'’s day.

We were young, at the mall, I had a pocket full of quarters.

Give me that.

[ Laughs]

And the day before that.

And the day before that.

It'’s a good thing I didn'’t meet Harvey in grade school.

All leading back to the day

when that first spark of love was ignited.

Oh, that was my first day at school

and the first time I ever saw Harvey.

Can I get that on DVD?

The director is still recording his commentary.

The question is:

What shall we do with this moment?

Well, i'’d like to keep it,

but if that'’s what'’s throwing my life out of balance,

I can only imagine what it'’s doing to Harvey.

Are you positive

you want Harvey'’s feelings for you to disappear?

I Don'’t have any other choice.

Voila.

Impressive, no?

Uh, not really. I'’m a witch, remember?

Sabrina, wait!

You'’ve got to see this.

Uh, squeeze my nose.

Does this end any differently than "pull my tail"?

Oh, you'’ve heard it.

But what you haven'’t heard is that yours truly

scored a date with one of the contortionists.

Ah, just like you to turn my personal tragedy

into your romantic opportunity.

Yup, everybody wins.

[ Doorbell rings]Well, I won'’t know if i'’ve won

until I find out if Harvey'’s still lovestruck.

Hey, Sabrina. Thought i'’d swing by on the way to the club.

Great, Harvey'’s going to be there, right?

He'’s got to be here somewhere.

You did invite him, right?

Oh, yeah. And barring a disfiguring accident,

he should be here.

Hey, Aaron, thanks for putting me on the list.

Don'’t go anywhere, i'’ll be right back.

Hey, why would I go anywhere when Harvey'’s here?

Hey, Harvey.

Oh, hey, spellman.

So, how you been?

Uh, fine, I guess.

Okay, well, I just wanted to do a little check,

you know, see how you'’re doing,

see how you'’re feeling about us.

I didn'’t realize there was anything between us

to feel anything about.

Nice chatting.

All right, mission accomplished.

No one'’s ever going to accuse you of being lovestruck.

Or polite. All right, I guess

i'’ll see you at your game tomorrow.

Wait. You'’re coming to my game?

Of course, I always do.

Wait a minute, we'’re still friends, right?

Still?

I didn'’t think we ever were.

In fact, I Don'’t think we ever said two words

to each other in high school.

Harvey, quit playing around.

I Don'’t think i'’m the one who'’s playing.

What'’d she do?

Slip this in my wallet?

Psycho.

Hey...

And it was like this photo meant nothing to him.

Je suisconfused.

I thought you wanted Harvey'’s feelings for you to be...

Snuffed out.

Well, I wanted his romantic feelings snuffed.

I didn'’t want to snuff out our entire friendship.

I can'’t imagine my life without Harvey.

And you are telling me this pour quoi?

Because I need to know how to do

your little hankey trick to put Harvey'’s feelings back.

That'’s pour quoi.

I'’m a witch, remember?

But you know, if you undo the spell,

your life will be out of balance again.

You know, I thought the circus was supposed

to put a smile on your face.

You are confusing us with the carnival.

I spit on the carnival.

And my shoes.

Ta-da!

Nice.

A little Vegas for you, isn'’t it?

Vegas, but hopefully effective.

Are you coming to my game tomorrow?

Jackpot.

Yeah, uh, well, I wouldn'’t miss it for the world.

Oh, Harvey...

I found this.

Hey, I keep the same one in my wallet.

I know, it'’s yours.

Because it'’s...

My best haircut.

I show it to barbers all the time.

Harvey, it'’s okay.

That was one of the best days of my life.

Really?

Yeah, really.

But that was a long time ago.

I know.

Look, I know we broke up a while ago, but, to be honest,

my feelings for you never really changed.

I know, but you have to let those feelings evolve,

otherwise, we'’ll never be able to move forward.

And I might never be able to move across my bedroom again.

Easier said than done.

Well why now, and why is this happening with Aaron?

I'’ve dated other guys.

Yeah, I know.

But... you'’ve never seemed this serious before.

Yeah, you'’re right.

It is different with Aaron.

Well, I wish I could be happy for you, but I Don'’t know

if i'’m that good of a sport.

Harvey, what are you saying?

I'’m saying, I Don'’t think I can do this.

Well, Harvey, wait!

I guess he won'’t mind if I keep this.

Ah, you know, just once i'’d love to come in here

and find you with your head in a lion'’s mouth.

Anyway, I finally got my life in balance.

So you can put down those balls and watch me

zip across the rope to the far platform

so I can send you packing.

I'’m sensing more bitterness than usual

in your sweet, bossy nature.

Good, I was afraid I was being too subtle.

You know, I didn'’t realize

that putting my life in balance

would mean losing Harvey forever.

I'’m sorry to hear that, mademoiselle.

Thanks. You know, it'’s really

kind of hard to imagine...

Could I please just finish a sentence?

Hey, where'’s the net?

If your life truly is in balance,

you won'’t need the net.

Oh, easy to say from the floor.

Okay.

I can do this.

Don'’t look down.

Remember to breathe.

No, Don'’t breathe.

Okay, just a couple...

More steps.

[ Screams]

Harvey?

What are you doing here?

You didn'’t think i'’d let you fall, did you?

I Don'’t know, I guess I...

Well, I say one thing.

Nobody retreats faster than the French.

I'’m just saying, I think a lot of people would watch

an action-adventure movie where a circus gets blown up.

Repeatedly.

I'’m definitely picking the videos from now on.

So, you talked to Harvey lately?

No, not really.

Oh, i'’m sorry to hear that.

Kind of.

No!

I have had it up to here with your excuses.

"Don'’t look at it, the sun might melt it,

water might break it," and now we accidentally

find ourselves at a hair club for men meeting?

Forget it!

I am looking.

In my defense,

I had no idea what I was doing.

See? I'’ve already found

the two clowns to star in my circus movie.

I love it!

You do?

Yes!

And it'’s only fair that I return the favor and do yours.

Oh, that'’s really not necessary.

Oh, yes, it is.

[ Doorbell rings]

The only way that could end is in tears.

Harvey.

Hey.

I just wanted to say i'’m sorry for walking off yesterday.

That'’s all right. I understand.

I Don'’t know if my feelings will ever evolve like you said,

but, regardless, I want you to know that i'’ll always

be there for you if you need me.

Thanks. That means a lot to me.

Well, you want to come in?

Aaron and I are about to watch a movie.

Roxie: Get away from me!

Or a murder.

Hey, Harvey.

Hey.

Maybe another time.

I'’ll catch you later.

And I know you always will.

But maybe next time I won'’t be wearing sequins.

Salem: Little help!

Oh!

Whoa.

Bad date with the contortionist, huh?

Are you kidding?

Best date of my life!

Well, you always were a little twisted.

[ Laughs and groans]