All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S06E21.Driving.Mr.Goodman.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Well, i'’m off to the library

to research renaissance poets.

But feareth not,
my trusted friend.

I shall returneth
before thou knoweth.

Hey, Sabrina, on
your way to the library

could I bummeth a rideth?

Sure. You know, miles

not that I mind taking
you to the library

or your therapist
five times a week

but have you ever
considered getting a license?

Considered it, yes.

Been foolish enough
to act upon it, no.

Years ago, I was in
a traumatic accident

and i'’m still healing
from the emotional scars.

Oh, that'’s awful.

Were you physically hurt?

I mean, no need to
get overly detailed.

Amazingly, I walked
away without a scratch.

My big wheel, however...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You Don'’t drive
because of an accident

you had with a toy
when you were five?

Twelve. And it'’s not just me.

All the goodmans have
terrible luck behind the wheel.

My uncle buddy was
the only good humor man

whose bell drove
kids into their houses

instead of out of them.

That was your uncle?

I had nightmares about that guy!

Get in the car.

♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

Hi, miles!

I'’ve decided I
can'’t just stand by

and watch you ruin your life

by letting your
fears control you.

So, I stopped by on the way
home and got you a little present.

A driver'’s manual?

Thanks. I'’ve always
believed that a passenger

is equally responsible for
knowing the rules of the road.

Except your days of
being a passenger are over.

In there is everything you
need to get your learner'’s permit.

So start studying. You'’re
taking the written test tomorrow.

What? That'’s madness!

You can'’t force
a person to drive

especially a Goodman.

Yadda, yadda, I know.

No one in your family can drive.

Your father can'’t even
steer luggage with wheels.

You know, miles, the
longer you make excuses

the longer you'’ll be
paralyzed by your fear.

First, you'’re afraid to drive.

Next, you'’re scared
to leave the house.

But that was a one-week phase

and I worked through it.

Go and study, and
Don'’t come back

until you can tell me what
a red flashing light means.

That'’s easy. "My
ambulance is here."

Hilda, i'’ve had it. I am
no longer wasting my life

waiting for men to
show up at my door.

What are you going to do?
Chase them down the street?

Wear ankle support.

I'’m talking about
the exterminator.

I rearranged my entire
schedule for those idiots

and they never even showed.

It'’s so hard to find
good help these days.

[ Clears throat]

Hilda, i'’m telling you,
you have got to pitch in

and help me deal with
these service people.

Hello? Business to run.

And how dare you
accuse me of not helping.

Who spent Saturday afternoon

waiting for the
plumber to show up?

I did.

Ladies?

I think ihave the
solution to your problem.

Get a personal assistant
to do it all foryou.

Not a bad idea.

Where would wefind
a personal assistant?

Right in front of you!

Morgan, we really
appreciate the offer

but I think I speak
for both hilda and I

when I say...

No freaking way!

It took me two months

to get you to scrub a coffeepot

and I still have to
use a cattle prod

to get you to wait on a table.

That'’s different.

There'’s no challenge in
taking a stupid coffee order.

But running people'’s lives?

It'’s what I do!

If I had your exterminator'’s
phone number, I could show you.

This is Morgan Cavanaugh

personal assistant to
the spellman sisters.

Oh, you didn'’t show up
because your truck broke down?

Good one.

I'’ll pass that along
to my boyfriend

the consumer affairs
reporter for channel three.

Well, if that'’s

the best you can do...

Bye-bye.

They'’ll be there in 10 minutes

and they'’re bringing bagels.

Here'’s a key.

Avoid the cat.

I did it. I passed
my written test

and I got my official
learner'’s permit.

Great! Now I Don'’t
have to schlep you

to your allergist
every Wednesday.

So, where'’s Sabrina?

I want her to take me
for a driving lesson.

She went to class.

She'’ll be back in
a couple of hours.

Oh? Well, hey, you wouldn'’t

by any chance be willing to...?

No.

Well, that'’s too bad.

'’cause you'’re from New
York, and everyone knows

new yorkers are
the best drivers.

Wow, you'’re a kiss-up.

Go on.

Please, i'’m begging you.

Help me lose these
shackles and win my freedom.

All right, i'’ll
teach you to drive.

Nothing'’s worse than
watching you grovel.

Mmm, something smells good.

And the house is spotless.

Is this our house?

Welcome home, ladies.

Mail'’s been sorted,
dinner'’s ordered

and dry cleaning is
hanging in your closets.

But how did you know
which clothes were mine

and which ones were Zelda'’s?

Mine weren'’t designed
by barnum and Bailey.

Stuffed mushroom? Mini quiche?

You made all these?

Pretty much.

I opened the door
for the caterer.

Ciao.

Well, I must say, I am
really pretty impressed.

Me, too.

Who knew quiches came in mini?

Hey, roxie. Where have you been?

Taking miles for
a driving lesson.

He got his permit.

That'’s great! So,
how did the lesson go?

I saw my entire life
flash before my eyes.

Miles, you'’re never
going to be a good driver

unless you learn to
drive aggressively.

By yelling phrases like

"slow down, and
you'’ll be mowed down"

or "out of my Lane,
or you'’ll feel the pain."

Maybe roxie'’s driving
style just isn'’t for you.

Maybe driving isn'’t for me.

Sure it is, but maybe you
just need a less hostile teacher.

Who are you calling hostile?

Sorry.

I meant psychotic.

Look, after a few
lessons from me

you'’ll have your
license in no time.

Okay, just promise me
that if a crossing guard

asks us to stop, you
won'’t flip her the bird.

Who would do such a thing?

Hey! School was out.

Hey, this isn'’t so bad.

I'’m doing much better with you.

Great. Now, let'’s try
turning on the ignition.

Shouldn'’t we save
that for the next lesson?

I'’m still digesting
the fog lights

and automatic locks.

Well, finish digesting,
and then give it some gas.

Okay, you'’re doing great.

Now, we'’re going to turn right

so, uh, flip on your signal.

[ Horn honking]

All right, miles.

You'’ve stopped long enough.

I think the operative
word here is "go."

[ Tires screeching]

Okay, this is easy.

Now, just pull over and park.

I better go pick those up.

He can'’t drive because
he'’s a nervous wreck.

If miles keeps driving like
this, my head will explode.

Give him more
confidence on the road.

Let'’s head over
to the turnpike.

I suddenly have
the urge to merge.

♪

Sabrina, you were right
about this driving thing.

There'’s nothing to
it. It'’s as easy as...

[ Crashing]

Hitting the car in front of you?

Oh, my god.

Sabrina, i'’m so
sorry. Are you okay?

Yeah, i'’m fine.

I tightened my seat-belt
back at the church

when you nearly
sideswiped that monsignor.

I better go over there
and make sure she'’s okay.

Please be okay, please
be okay, please be okay...

Wow.

Are you okay?

I'’m fine.

Nothing to worry about.

I didn'’t mean to
stop so suddenly

but there was this little
puppy crossing the road, and...

Don'’t you just
love little puppies?

If you do, I do.

Are you two okay? Yeah,
we'’re fine. I was just teaching

my friend miles how to drive.

I'’m Sabrina spellman,
the owner of the vehicle.

I'’m Mary Jo ponder.

Nice to meet you.

From what I can see,
everything looks all right.

Just in case, we should
probably exchange information.

No problem.

No harm done.

I'’m really sorry
about this, Mary Jo.

Hey, sometimes accidents
just can'’t be avoided.

[ Whispers]: There you go.

Drive safely.

[ Panting]

Miles, what are you doing
in the passenger seat?

Hyperventilating.

Oh, obviously, that
confidence spell wore off.

Confidence spell?

Yeah, uh, for a spell there...

You were looking
pretty confident.

Now, get over there,
and get back in the saddle.

Could you please
not mention saddles?

I fell off a pony
when I was six.

I haven'’t been on a
merry-go-round since.

I'’m glad I didn'’t
know you as a child.

I can'’t wait to sink
my tush into the couch

and enjoy the little surprises

Morgan has in
store for us tonight.

Not exactly the
surprise I had in mind.

Morgan?

Where'’s our furniture?

Well, I was going to
send it straight to goodwill

but then I realized that
those hideous patterns

are nothing a little
reupholstering won'’t cure.

You sent our furniture
to be re-covered

without even asking us?

Why should great
minds be bogged down

with little decisions?

Well, I would hardly call

emptying our living
room a little decision.

In the future, we would like you

to notify us before undertaking

such an endeavor, right, hilda?

I'’m sorry. I was still
going over the part

about our great minds.

Note taken and filed.

Now, how about a nice,
chilled glass of champagne?

Did you hear that,
zellie? Champagne.

Well, I do have papers
to grade, but I guess

one little glass of
bubbly wouldn'’t hurt.

Your wish is my command.

[ Doorbell rings]

Is there a Sabrina
spellman here?

Is there ever.

Sabrina spellman,
at your service.

Actually, you'’re the
one being served.

Hey.

Where are you
going with my tulips?

What does he mean,
"being served?"

"Notice to defendant
Sabrina spellman.

"You are being sued by plaintiff

Mary Jo ponder..."

"for causing her

extensive bodily injury!"

This doesn'’t make any sense!

When we left Mary Jo,
she said everything was fine.

Well, Sabrina, as someone
who'’s familiar with physical ailments

I can tell you it often takes
24 hours for pain to set in.

I Don'’t believe this.
She seemed so nice.

She served you with a summons.

This is all my fault. It'’s
the Goodman family curse.

We'’re just not meant
to be behind the wheel.

Will you stop making
this about you?

Sabrina'’s the one being sued!

For $2 million, if
anybody'’s interested.

There... it'’s not
Martha Stewart'’s living

but at least we have
someplace to sit.

Oh! I call the bean bag chair.

Sorry about the inconvenience

but they fed-exed me

a swatch of the couch
fabric this morning

and it was completely
unacceptable.

I'’m having them
redo the whole thing.

Morgan, i'’m not sure how
long we can live this way.

Not to worry.

I told them if that furniture
wasn'’t finished by Monday

they'’d regret the day
they learned to sew.

Believe you me, those nuns
in France are stitching faster

than they can say "hail Mary."

I can'’t think about this now.

Tomorrow is Wayne'’s birthday

and I have to buy him a gift.

Already taken care of.

Delivered it myself
this morning.

And I think you will
be veryimpressed

with how closely I matched
your signature on the card.

You bought my
boyfriend'’s birthday gift

and forged my signature?

No need to thank me.

It'’s what you pay me for.

Oh, and I added a little
personal note, as well.

Morgan, you have
reallycrossed the line.

You think?

[ Phone rings]

Hello?

Oh, hi, Wayne.

You loved the gift

and you can'’t wait
to try it out on me?

I'’m sure it willbe fun...

I guess.

Bye-bye.

Told you he'’d love it.

Morgan, just out of curiosity

what did you get
president banning?

I Don'’t want to
spoil the surprise.

Oh, but be sure to bring
a top hat and a whisk.

I'’ve really done
it this time, Salem.

I ruined Mary Jo'’s life!

I mean, I crippled a woman!

Oh, please!

This is the oldest
trick in the book.

The woman'’s a scam artist.

A con.

A sponge who earns her living

preying on the
naiveté of others.

So is she single?

Salem, Mary Jo has a
doctor'’s diagnosis confirming

she has multiple injuries.

And i'’ve got a
degree from Harvard

confirming i'’m a
marine biologist!

Fact is

if we popped over to
Mary Jo'’s unannounced

you'’d find her doing
the hokeypokey.

Ow! Uh.

I get a shooting pain down
my arms every time I blink.

Not exactly the hokeypokey.

Could you do me a favor
and get my pain pills please?

There you go.

See, Salem, you were
all wrong about Mary Jo.

Please!

Any amateur can throw
a brace around her neck

and lie in a bed.

But it takes a professional

to get her up and moving.

Watch and learn.

Ow!

Aah!

Your cat clawed me!

I could have bled to death.

I'’m adding that to my lawsuit!

Glad you'’re feeling better.

Got to go.

See, I told you
Mary Jo is really hurt.

And you also told me

you barely tapped her vehicle.

This thing looks

like it was hit by
a sherman tank.

Well, it didn'’t look like this

the day of the accident.

If you Don'’t
believe me, ask him.

Sure, right after I ask
that weed whacker

where I can find a good deli.

I, on the other hand

can have this car
talking in no time.

[ Chuckling softly]

Okay, so I can'’t
get the car to talk.

But I canget some advice

from some other
realm car talk experts.

Click and clack?
I love those guys.

Much funnier
than frick and frack.

Woman: My husband'’s getting

the Mercedes in the divorce

and all i'’m getting
is a ratty magic carpet

with 500,000 miles.

Click: Sounds like what

you should get is a new lawyer!

Let'’s take another call.

It'’s Sabrina spellman.

You'’re on the
"other realm car talk"

with click and clack, the tappet
brothers. What'’s up, baby?

I'’ve got a car here
that I can'’t get to talk.

Count your blessings, girl.

I got a brother
who won'’t shut up.

Well, what kind of a car

are we talking
about here, Sabrina?

A sedan deville.

You sound a little
young for a land yacht.

What color'’s your
hair? It'’s not blue, is it?

Hey, what year is that deville?

Because, you know, they changed

the incantation on the '’91s.

Uh, it looks like a '’91.

That could be
it. All right, look.

Here'’s what you do.

Tap on the hood three times

and you say this...
"cars are great

"cause you Don'’t have to walk.

But they'’re even
better when they talk."

You got that?

Got it.

And when you'’ve done
that, walk around the car

and sniff the right front wheel.

Sniff the wheel?
What'’s that for?

That'’s, uh, for our amusement.

[ Laughter]

[ Turns radio off]

[ Knocking]

"Cars are great, cause
you Don'’t have to walk

but they'’re even
better when they talk."

Hey, blondie, nice gams.

Gams?

I thought you were
a '’91, not a '’46.

So, what'’s the deal?

After the accident, all
you had was a scratch.

Now your whole
rear end'’s a mess!

I can'’t say.

Sure you can. What
are you afraid of?

Have you seenmary Jo?

The woman could crush
me with her bare hands!

That'’s what she
did to your trunk?

My grill is sealed.

You know, for a full-sized sedan

you'’ve got the
spine of a golf cart!

Do you think I
like living like this?

I was hoping to be
a classic someday

but that broad'’s
got me in an accident

every week!

She does?

She sees some fictitious animal

slams on my brakes

and then if i'’m not
wrecked enough

she backs me into a brick wall.

Oh, so she did this on purpose

to collect the insurance money.

Salem: Hmm...

And where'’ve we
heard thattheory before?

Well, she'’s not going to be
pulling this scam anymore!

I'’ll just have you
explain the truth

to the lawyers and
the insurance company!

Great idea!

And I, the talking cat

will be exhibit "b."

So much for proof.

Wow, the cat talks... freaky.

Okay, ladies.

Here are your schedules

here are your lunches

and here are your
3:00 pm snacks.

How come I get an apple

and she gets that big
ol'’ hunk of cheese?

Because Zelda needs the protein

and you need the fiber.

Boy, you really are on
top of things, aren'’t you?

I had no idea how
liberating it would be

not to have to make
any personal decisions.

Tell me about it.

I Don'’t know how we
ever managed without her.

Oh, Zelda.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

Scarf goes on the left.

Oh, of course, of
course. My better side.

And, remember...

"chin up, shoulders high...

[ All]: Keeps the
gentlemen coming by."

And exactly who is this person

who told you Mary
Jo was a faker?

Let'’s just say
someone close to her

was kind of a motor mouth.

Anyway, there'’s
got to be some way

to prove Mary Jo is a fraud.

I'’ve got a cousin in Jersey

that could get her
out of that brace.

Or into some concrete.

But that wouldn'’t
prove Mary Jo'’s guilty.

In my scenario, that
wouldn'’t really matter.

[ Phone rings]

Hello?

Can I tell Sabrina
who'’s calling?

Sedan who?

Sedan

deville?

Very funny... and
i'’m I.P. Freely.

That'’s disgusting.

Hello, this is Sabrina.

Deville: It'’s me.

I just dropped Mary Jo off

at silverman'’s gym on dickens.

Could be an opportunity

if you catch my drift.

Got you.

And why is this an opportunity?

Because if you see her

and she slips up with
her little invalid routine...

I can catch her in the
act. Good plan, sedan.

You know, you American
cars have really improved.

Excuse me. I need some help.

Oh, sorry.

Uh, i'’m looking

for someone named
Mary Jo ponder.

Do you know her?

Oh, everybody knows Mary Jo.

She'’s, uh, held every
weightlifting record

in this gym for
the last ten years.

And then she had

the accident.

Just look at that poor thing

suffering over there.

Ow!

Well, i'’ll bet that
lawsuit money

will help her ease the pain.

Well, if she has
that many records

i'’m guessing she'’s going
to want to hold on to them.

Wow. Who are you?

I'’m Olga spellmanovich,
world-class weightlifter.

Now shut up.

You'’re sucking all the
oxygen out of the room.

Mary Jo, check it out.

It looks like you'’ve got
some serious competition.

Give me a break.

I could bench press
that with my toe.

I mean, if I was feeling better.

Unbelievable.

I'’ve never seen anyone
lift that much weight before.

Olga'’s not anyone.
I'’m the best.

Oh, please. I could
lift twice that much.

Talk is cheap.
Besides, look at me.

I'’m in great shape.
And look at your arms.

I'’ve seen toothpicks
with more definition.

[ Men snickering]

You'’d kill to be in
the shape that i'’m in.

Oh, please. You'’re
just a little girly-girl.

I'’ll show you
who'’s a girly-girl.

Wow, that'’s incredible.

Who'’s in great shape now?

I'’d say...

Still me.

Sabrina?

I'’ve been working out.

But one thing that'’s
not going to work out

is you suing me

since a room full of people

just saw you lift 400 pounds.

500.

Whatever, girly-girl.

Hilda, Zelda. Let'’s go.

Time for our walk.

[ Blows whistle]

Sorry i'’m late.

It took longer than anticipated

to perform the skin regimen

you posted on my
bathroom mirror.

It was so involved.

But so worth it.

I have to say,
i'’m very pleased.

You and hilda have come so far.

Exactly where are we going?

Cute outfit.

Oh... my... god.

Morgan, you are
turning us into you.

Oh, that'’s still going
to take some time.

But we'’re getting there.

Now, who'’s going to lead us

on our little hike today?

The only one taking
a hike today is you.

You'’re fired.

I'’m not sure what
just went on here

but i'’m definitely
keeping the hat.

So the entire lawsuit'’s
been dropped?

That'’s right.

Mary Jo'’s been
charged with fraud

and you no longer
have to feel guilty

about ruining a woman'’s life.

Or, as my friend Olga would say

[ German accent]:
"That weight can now

be lifted off your shoulders."

What a relief. I can now
tool around guilt-free.

Which reminds me, Sabrina

I was wondering,
provided it'’s not

too much of an inconvenience...

Yes, miles, you
can borrow my car.

♪

Hey. So how was your
first trip driving solo?

I never thought i'’d say this

but I love driving.
I'’m a natural.

And I owe it all to you.

Thanks, Sabrina.

You know, I never doubted you

for a second.

All right, so how'’d he do?

[ Ding]

That guy drives like a maniac.

My tires are still shaking

my shocks are in shock.

Promise you'’ll never
let him drive me again.

What'’s in it for me?

Working brakes.

Deal.