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1
00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:05,034
Hey, your favorite college
girl'’s come to see you.
2
00:00:05,103 --> 00:00:06,241
Felicity'’s here?
3
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:07,758
I just came to get
my tennis racket.
4
00:00:07,827 --> 00:00:09,107
Josh and I are going to go play.
5
00:00:09,172 --> 00:00:10,758
I didn'’t know you
still played tennis.
6
00:00:10,827 --> 00:00:12,275
Well, I haven'’t
done it in a while
7
00:00:12,344 --> 00:00:14,551
but I figure i'’ll get right
back in the swing of it.
8
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:15,758
Oh, look...
9
00:00:15,827 --> 00:00:18,000
It'’s a letter from your
cousin Amanda'’s school.
10
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:19,275
And it'’s marked "urgent."
11
00:00:19,344 --> 00:00:21,862
No sense in opening
all our mail in one day.
12
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,379
Hey, Amanda'’s not as
bad as she used to be.
13
00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:25,896
Besides, maybe our school
14
00:00:25,965 --> 00:00:28,103
is giving her an
award or something.
15
00:00:28,172 --> 00:00:29,172
No award.
16
00:00:29,206 --> 00:00:30,586
But I was first in my class
17
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,034
to mail myself first class.
18
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:33,355
Next time, you might want to try
19
00:00:33,379 --> 00:00:34,899
getting all the stamps
on the envelope.
20
00:00:34,965 --> 00:00:35,965
Ow.
21
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,458
Just out of curiosity
are you doing here
22
00:00:37,482 --> 00:00:38,631
in the middle of a school week?
23
00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:40,793
I need help studying
for my witches license.
24
00:00:40,862 --> 00:00:43,103
If I flunk this test i'’ll
lose my magic powers.
25
00:00:43,172 --> 00:00:44,413
Pleasewill you help me?
26
00:00:44,482 --> 00:00:46,724
Okay. We'’d be
happy to tutor you.
27
00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:50,000
But be forewarned, our
witches training program
28
00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:51,172
is very intense.
29
00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:52,655
Yes. Their lessons
on hex education
30
00:00:52,724 --> 00:00:53,896
are not for the squeamish.
31
00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:55,724
That'’s because
we'’re very thorough.
32
00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:57,310
We made sure that Sabrina knew
33
00:00:57,379 --> 00:00:59,896
that the exact angle when
pointing is 45 degrees.
34
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:00,965
Actually, it'’s 47.
35
00:01:01,034 --> 00:01:01,896
No, it'’s 45.
36
00:01:01,965 --> 00:01:02,965
47.45.
37
00:01:03,034 --> 00:01:03,965
Let'’s call it 46.
38
00:01:04,034 --> 00:01:05,620
Better yet, let'’s
call it a day.
39
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:07,103
Got to go.
40
00:01:12,586 --> 00:01:16,620
♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪
41
00:01:16,689 --> 00:01:23,137
♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪
42
00:01:23,206 --> 00:01:26,310
♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪
43
00:01:26,379 --> 00:01:30,448
♪ I wanna make it last...
44
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:35,965
♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪
45
00:01:36,034 --> 00:01:40,620
♪ and I like the way it feels.
46
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:47,655
Okay, deuce.
47
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:50,034
[ Music playing]
48
00:01:50,103 --> 00:01:51,103
Whoo!
49
00:01:51,517 --> 00:01:52,517
Oh!
50
00:01:57,206 --> 00:01:58,206
Oh!
51
00:01:58,241 --> 00:01:59,551
That'’s set. 6-3.
52
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,620
That was great.
53
00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:02,137
We really play well together.
54
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:04,482
Actually, the custom is to shake
55
00:02:04,551 --> 00:02:05,724
then kiss.
56
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,482
Oh, right, like agassi and
Sampras at the French open.
57
00:02:11,068 --> 00:02:12,137
That was so much fun.
58
00:02:12,206 --> 00:02:13,586
Let'’s play again tomorrow.
59
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,517
Ooh, no, tomorrow'’s
not good for me.
60
00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:16,448
What about Sunday?
61
00:02:16,517 --> 00:02:17,448
Sunday'’s not good either.
62
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:18,665
My parents are coming to visit.
63
00:02:18,689 --> 00:02:19,965
Oh, right. Well, what about
64
00:02:20,034 --> 00:02:21,724
any morning before
work? Pick one.
65
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,233
I Don'’t know...
Whatever. Wednesday.
66
00:02:23,275 --> 00:02:25,241
Maybe i'’m crazy, but
you Don'’t sound like
67
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,482
you really want to play.
68
00:02:26,551 --> 00:02:29,000
Look, Sabrina, it'’s
nothing against you
69
00:02:29,068 --> 00:02:31,793
but I prefer to play
with people who are...
70
00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:33,275
You know, at my level.
71
00:02:33,344 --> 00:02:35,275
Well, I thought we were
pretty well-matched.
72
00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:36,517
I mean, I won three games.
73
00:02:36,586 --> 00:02:38,689
Technically. The truth is,
I was kind of holding back
74
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,344
to make you feel
better about yourself.
75
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,344
Gee, thanks. I feel phenomenal.
76
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,965
Hey, it'’s not your fault.
77
00:02:44,034 --> 00:02:47,241
Most girls just aren'’t able
to play as well as guys.
78
00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:48,655
You can'’t help it.
79
00:02:48,724 --> 00:02:50,379
It'’s just the way
you'’re programmed.
80
00:02:50,448 --> 00:02:52,310
The way we'’re programmed?
81
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:53,724
What am I, a VCR?
82
00:02:53,793 --> 00:02:55,137
Why Don'’t we
just drop it, okay?
83
00:02:55,206 --> 00:02:57,103
I'’m starving. Let'’s go
get something to eat.
84
00:02:57,172 --> 00:02:58,103
I Don'’t know.
85
00:02:58,172 --> 00:03:00,068
You know, I think I
need to eat with a girl
86
00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,310
to keep my skills sharp.
87
00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:02,758
You'’re just not up to my level.
88
00:03:02,827 --> 00:03:05,827
Eating? You know, most girls
wouldn'’t want to admit that.
89
00:03:05,896 --> 00:03:07,758
Well, we Don'’t like to brag.
90
00:03:07,827 --> 00:03:10,000
It'’s not the way
we'’re programmed.
91
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:12,206
All right... before we
commit to getting cable
92
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,689
we have to discuss the options.
93
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,310
We can go with the
premium package
94
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:17,965
which gives us nine hbo'’s,
but no other movie channels.
95
00:03:18,034 --> 00:03:19,689
Or the platinum package
96
00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:21,931
which gives us movie channels
97
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,724
the home surgery
network and 16 hbo'’s.
98
00:03:24,793 --> 00:03:26,344
Which option'’s $20 a month?
99
00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:29,689
We get an on-off switch and
the German sitcom channel.
100
00:03:29,758 --> 00:03:32,206
You'’re not going to
believe what Josh just said.
101
00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:33,931
He had the incredible arrogance
102
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,172
to say that women can'’t play
tennis at the same level as men.
103
00:03:37,241 --> 00:03:38,551
He creamed you, didn'’t he?
104
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,310
No, he did not.
And even if he did
105
00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:43,275
I mean, there are tons of
great women tennis players...
106
00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:45,068
Venus, Serena, martina...
107
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,517
I have to agree with Josh.
108
00:03:46,586 --> 00:03:48,310
When it comes to
physical prowess
109
00:03:48,379 --> 00:03:49,689
men are the stronger sex.
110
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,931
There are exceptions.
111
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,251
For the honor of
women everywhere
112
00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:56,275
you need to show Josh
113
00:03:56,344 --> 00:03:58,310
you'’re as good a
tennis player as he is.
114
00:03:58,379 --> 00:03:59,862
One little problem: I'’m not.
115
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:02,551
Yet. You can'’t expect to
play once a year and be great.
116
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:04,724
You just need practice.
117
00:04:04,793 --> 00:04:06,896
And you need steroids.
118
00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:12,758
Ooh!
119
00:04:15,827 --> 00:04:19,827
Okay, practice doesn'’t
necessarily make perfect.
120
00:04:19,896 --> 00:04:22,034
I need professional help.
121
00:04:22,103 --> 00:04:23,896
Oh... like all women
122
00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:27,137
you suffer from
severe tennis envy.
123
00:04:27,206 --> 00:04:28,206
Wrong professional.
124
00:04:28,275 --> 00:04:30,172
Oh, by the way,
Dr. Freud, your fly'’s open.
125
00:04:32,862 --> 00:04:34,448
Andy roddick; Much better.
126
00:04:34,517 --> 00:04:36,655
Whoa. This isn'’t wimbledon.
127
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:37,724
Who are you?
128
00:04:37,758 --> 00:04:39,034
Uh, let'’s put it this way
129
00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:41,896
i'’ve won almost as many
grand slams as Anna kournikova.
130
00:04:41,965 --> 00:04:43,344
Sabrina spellman. Big fan.
131
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:44,551
Nice to meet you, Sabrina.
132
00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:45,689
What can I do for you?
133
00:04:45,758 --> 00:04:47,286
Teach me everything
you know about tennis
134
00:04:47,310 --> 00:04:48,665
so I can be as good
as my boyfriend.
135
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,249
Oh, and you have
to do it in one lesson.
136
00:05:08,965 --> 00:05:10,206
You hit the ball well, Sabrina.
137
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,079
Now you just have to learn
how to hit it in the court.
138
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,586
Now you tell me.
139
00:05:15,827 --> 00:05:17,000
That'’s good, Sabrina.
140
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,034
Excellent.
141
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:22,103
Sorry.
142
00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:23,103
For what?
143
00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:24,103
That was a great shot.
144
00:05:24,172 --> 00:05:25,620
Never apologize
for hitting a winner.
145
00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:27,803
Yeah, I guess then you'’d
be apologizing all the time.
146
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:28,827
You got that right.
147
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:29,793
You have a lot of potential
148
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:31,079
but the thing you
need to work on
149
00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:32,034
is being more competitive.
150
00:05:32,103 --> 00:05:33,493
That'’s the only way
you'’re going to win.
151
00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:34,758
I'’ll try that. Thanks, Andy.
152
00:05:34,827 --> 00:05:36,551
You want to go get
something to eat?
153
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,734
Thanks, but I should probably
get back to wimbledon now.
154
00:05:38,758 --> 00:05:41,103
Oh, yeah, right.
155
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,241
Double, double,
boil and trouble.
156
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,586
Dress the cat
like Barney rubble.
157
00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:50,724
Well, it looks better on me
than it did on John Goodman.
158
00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:52,344
Now you try one, Amanda.
159
00:05:52,413 --> 00:05:54,206
Incantations are so middle ages.
160
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,655
Nobody does them anymore.
161
00:05:55,724 --> 00:05:56,965
That doesn'’t rhyme.
162
00:05:57,034 --> 00:06:00,068
Amanda, incantations
are a big part of the test.
163
00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:02,000
If you want the witches
council to pass you
164
00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:03,482
you better learn how to do them.
165
00:06:03,551 --> 00:06:04,655
Okay, if you insist.
166
00:06:04,724 --> 00:06:06,103
Incantations are so dumb
167
00:06:06,172 --> 00:06:07,931
make aunt Zelda suck her thumb.
168
00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:10,448
Now you'’re catching on.
169
00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:12,137
I'’ll say it loud.
I'’ll say it clear.
170
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,413
Make aunt hilda disappear.
171
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:15,034
Well done.
172
00:06:15,103 --> 00:06:16,551
I'’ll say.
173
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:19,551
Now, get me
Ann-margrock on the phone.
174
00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:22,172
Okay, now Don'’t
hold back this time.
175
00:06:22,241 --> 00:06:24,689
I guarantee you i'’m going to
give you a run for your money
176
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:25,827
even if I am just a girl.
177
00:06:33,275 --> 00:06:34,931
That'’s game. Five-one.
178
00:06:36,034 --> 00:06:37,689
Sabrina, you'’re hitting
179
00:06:37,758 --> 00:06:39,344
the ball really well.
180
00:06:39,413 --> 00:06:41,413
Yeah, but i'’m still losing.
181
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,965
I guess I just Don'’t have
it in me to be competitive.
182
00:06:44,034 --> 00:06:45,354
Hey, Josh, I
thought that was you.
183
00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:46,527
Dave, what are you doing here?
184
00:06:46,551 --> 00:06:47,700
My partner, he didn'’t show up.
185
00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:48,941
Hey, are you up for another game
186
00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:50,310
when you'’re finished?
187
00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,517
Boy, am I.
188
00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:53,758
Just give me a minute
while I Polish Sabrina off.
189
00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:55,068
Polish me off?
190
00:06:55,137 --> 00:06:59,000
Shh... i'’ll show him who'’s
going to get polished off.
191
00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,034
Oh, "competitive Ade."
192
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,586
Mmm... fruity, with
a hint of rocket fuel.
193
00:07:11,655 --> 00:07:13,275
Okay, i'’m ready...
194
00:07:13,344 --> 00:07:15,965
To wipe the court with you.
195
00:07:20,517 --> 00:07:22,344
15-love.
196
00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:25,448
I must say, I did love it.
197
00:07:34,862 --> 00:07:35,862
Whoo, my point!
198
00:07:36,862 --> 00:07:38,482
Game, set, match.
199
00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:40,448
That was an amazing
comeback, Sabrina.
200
00:07:40,517 --> 00:07:41,896
What happened to you?
201
00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:43,793
Well, I wanted to
play at your level
202
00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:45,413
so I just got more competitive.
203
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:47,655
And I made sure to
drink plenty of fluids.
204
00:07:50,724 --> 00:07:53,586
Okay, let'’s go over this
cable package one more time.
205
00:07:53,655 --> 00:07:54,965
Mm-hmm.
206
00:07:55,034 --> 00:07:58,241
We'’re getting coax select
service with digital four-pack
207
00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:01,448
cable modem ready,
reduced-rate digital pay-per-view
208
00:08:01,517 --> 00:08:03,068
and free splitters, right?
209
00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,896
Right. Now, will you sign
here so I can start wiring?
210
00:08:05,965 --> 00:08:08,068
We'’ve been negotiating
for over an hour.
211
00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:10,482
Whoo-hoo. I just
beat Josh at tennis.
212
00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:13,482
Congratulations. And
congratulations to miles
213
00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,000
for getting us a
great cable deal.
214
00:08:15,068 --> 00:08:16,448
I'’m not finished yet.
215
00:08:16,517 --> 00:08:17,551
There'’s more?
216
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,379
Oh, yes. And make no mistake
217
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:21,310
without this we have no deal.
218
00:08:21,379 --> 00:08:22,551
I want a free pen.
219
00:08:24,689 --> 00:08:25,689
He may be a techie nerd
220
00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:27,862
but when it comes to
negotiating, he'’s the best.
221
00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:28,931
I Don'’t think so.
222
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,596
I can get us a much
more competitive rate.
223
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,172
Hey!
224
00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:34,206
Okay... here'’s what
you'’re going to give us:
225
00:08:34,275 --> 00:08:36,275
Everything in this
contract plus free hookup
226
00:08:36,344 --> 00:08:38,103
free service for the
first three months
227
00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:40,137
all the premium channels
at no extra charge
228
00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:41,206
and that pen.
229
00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:42,493
This was my late
grandfather'’s pen.
230
00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:43,527
Why should I give it to you?
231
00:08:43,551 --> 00:08:44,591
Because you Don'’t want us
232
00:08:44,655 --> 00:08:46,286
to take our business to
another cable company
233
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,079
and i'’m sure your boss
wouldn'’t want that either.
234
00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:50,044
You know, i'’d hate to have
to write something negative
235
00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:51,389
about you under
"customer comments."
236
00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:52,482
Boy, she'’s getting ugly.
237
00:08:52,551 --> 00:08:53,551
She sure is.
238
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,241
See if you can get
the naked channel.
239
00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:57,586
The last thing I want is
for you to lose your job.
240
00:08:57,655 --> 00:08:58,724
All right.
241
00:08:58,793 --> 00:09:01,413
Change the contract. You win.
242
00:09:03,862 --> 00:09:06,551
Okay, Amanda,
this film will show you
243
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,344
all the etiquette rules
you need to know
244
00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:09,965
in order to get
your witch'’s license.
245
00:09:10,034 --> 00:09:11,448
Look, I want to pass the test
246
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,217
but do I really have to
watch some ancient film
247
00:09:13,241 --> 00:09:14,172
about witch etiquette?
248
00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:15,413
Absolutely.
249
00:09:15,482 --> 00:09:17,344
You must learn the
proper way to ride a vacuum
250
00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:19,137
to dispose of leftover potions
251
00:09:19,206 --> 00:09:20,448
and to write thank-you notes.
252
00:09:21,448 --> 00:09:23,344
Or we can just watch the end
253
00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:24,655
of my Marilyn video.
254
00:09:24,724 --> 00:09:27,241
I'’ll watch the etiquette film.
255
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:28,586
Fresh pot of coffee.
256
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,137
And I challenge anyone
to make a finer pot.
257
00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:32,620
There she is.
258
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:35,172
Sabrina, you remember
my parents, Ben and geri.
259
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,320
Hey, great to see you again.
260
00:09:36,344 --> 00:09:37,562
I'’ve been meaning
to ask you guys
261
00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:40,310
whose idea was "chunky monkey"?
262
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:43,379
So Josh tells us you'’ve
become quite a tennis player.
263
00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:45,965
He says you suddenly developed
this wild competitive streak.
264
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:46,965
I like that.
265
00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:49,034
I like it more than you do.
266
00:09:49,103 --> 00:09:50,310
Well, geri and I play.
267
00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:52,724
Maybe we could book a court,
play some doubles tomorrow?
268
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,275
Why wait till tomorrow?
269
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,379
I'’m ready to kick
some butt right now.
270
00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:58,379
Race you to the car.
271
00:09:58,448 --> 00:10:01,896
Wow, she really is competitive.
272
00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:08,793
Come on, geri, look alive.
273
00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:14,931
Come on, Ben, look alive.
274
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,413
Yeah, I told you she was good.
275
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:17,413
That was nice, Sabrina.
276
00:10:17,482 --> 00:10:18,862
I always wanted
to do that to him
277
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:20,758
but he doesn'’t like to
play singles with me.
278
00:10:20,827 --> 00:10:21,482
Why not?
279
00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:22,482
He doesn'’t think
280
00:10:22,551 --> 00:10:23,689
i'’m competitive enough.
281
00:10:23,758 --> 00:10:25,103
Apparently, only men are.
282
00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:27,655
Oh, now I see where
you got that attitude.
283
00:10:27,724 --> 00:10:28,907
It'’s time to put
an end to that.
284
00:10:28,931 --> 00:10:30,862
I propose a battle of the sexes.
285
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:31,965
Women against men.
286
00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:34,034
Right here, right now, right on.
287
00:10:34,103 --> 00:10:35,724
I Don'’t think
that'’s a good idea.
288
00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:37,275
Why not? Afraid we'’ll beat you?
289
00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:38,344
Please.
290
00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:39,413
Well, then stop stalling
291
00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:40,862
and trade places with your mom.
292
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,965
Come on, Josh. If that'’s
what the ladies want.
293
00:10:43,034 --> 00:10:44,034
Let'’s Polish them off.
294
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,103
I love this idea, Sabrina.
295
00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:52,724
I finally have a partner who
doesn'’t bark orders at me.
296
00:10:52,793 --> 00:10:54,148
Okay, listen up.
Play the base line
297
00:10:54,172 --> 00:10:55,251
unless I tell you different.
298
00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:56,320
I'’ll handle everything else.
299
00:10:56,344 --> 00:10:57,344
Stay out of my way.
300
00:10:57,379 --> 00:10:59,182
Oh, and we'’re in this
to win; Don'’t forget that.
301
00:10:59,206 --> 00:11:02,379
Well, at least I Don'’t
have to wash your socks.
302
00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:05,586
[ Grunts]
303
00:11:05,655 --> 00:11:07,448
What'’s wrong with you, Ben?
304
00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:09,758
Another great shot, Sabrina.
305
00:11:09,827 --> 00:11:11,896
Have you ever thought
of playing professionally?
306
00:11:11,965 --> 00:11:14,000
No, it'’s not competitive
enough for me.
307
00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:15,827
Hey, what'’s wrong
with you wimps?
308
00:11:15,896 --> 00:11:17,872
What? Did you forget to eat
your wheaties this morning?
309
00:11:17,896 --> 00:11:19,551
Or did you just forget
how to hit a ball?
310
00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,413
Oh, by the way, it'’s
that yellow fuzzy thing
311
00:11:21,482 --> 00:11:22,586
that keeps flying past you.
312
00:11:25,103 --> 00:11:27,310
Hey, psst.
313
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,413
Would you lighten
up a little on dad?
314
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,862
For some reason he
doesn'’t like being called wimp
315
00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:34,206
panty-waist or girly-boy.
316
00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,551
Hey, i'’m just
being competitive.
317
00:11:38,379 --> 00:11:39,896
40-15. Service!
318
00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:47,310
Six-love. We kicked
your sorry butts!
319
00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:48,482
Whoo-hoo!
320
00:11:52,517 --> 00:11:55,379
Ah, you know, there'’s
nothing like a cup a coffee
321
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,275
after mopping the floor
with a couple of losers.
322
00:11:58,344 --> 00:11:59,586
They can barely walk.
323
00:11:59,655 --> 00:12:01,241
Hey, you know,
it'’s one thing to win.
324
00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:03,103
It'’s another thing
to rub it in our faces.
325
00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:06,793
Hey, you can rub it in our
faces if you beat us at bowling.
326
00:12:06,862 --> 00:12:07,862
As if.
327
00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:09,551
We love to bowl, Don'’t we, Ben?
328
00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:11,551
Forget it. I'’m not
bowling with you.
329
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,586
I'’m not playing any
more sports with you.
330
00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:16,896
Ah, you'’re just upset because
you hate that I beat you.
331
00:12:16,965 --> 00:12:18,586
But I love that I beat you.
332
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,310
And I owe it all to Sabrina.
333
00:12:20,379 --> 00:12:22,137
Hey, we rocked, girl.
334
00:12:22,206 --> 00:12:23,206
We sure did, girl.
335
00:12:23,241 --> 00:12:24,586
Even if a certain big baby'’s
336
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:25,931
too selfish to admit it.
337
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,137
Well, you Don'’t have to worry
about me being selfish anymore
338
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,448
because i'’m out of here.
339
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,034
So long, geri.
340
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:34,068
Dad...
341
00:12:34,137 --> 00:12:36,217
No, no, no... this match
brought out a side of your mother
342
00:12:36,241 --> 00:12:37,172
i'’ve never even seen before.
343
00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:39,001
Thanks for helping me
see the truth, Sabrina.
344
00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:42,793
Good riddance to you, Ben!
345
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,172
Congratulations, Sabrina.
346
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,931
You just split up Ben and geri.
347
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,862
Josh, I swear I never
meant to cause trouble
348
00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:54,068
for your parents.
349
00:12:54,137 --> 00:12:55,389
I thought we were
all having a good time.
350
00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:57,217
When do you think dad
was having a better time...
351
00:12:57,241 --> 00:12:58,241
When he threw his racket
352
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,241
or when he banged his
head against the wall?
353
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,827
It'’s not Sabrina'’s fault.
354
00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:04,000
It'’s your dad and
his stupid temper.
355
00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:05,931
Every time the going gets tough
356
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,310
he runs away like a...
357
00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:08,896
What was your term again?
358
00:13:08,965 --> 00:13:10,310
[ Whispering]
359
00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:11,586
Oh, yes.
360
00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,103
Panty-waisted girly-boy.
361
00:13:14,172 --> 00:13:16,103
Mom, the man
you'’ve been married to
362
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:18,517
for 25 years may never
speak to you again.
363
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:19,586
Really?
364
00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:21,965
Be a dear and run out
for some champagne.
365
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,154
What about dad? We Don'’t
even know where he'’s going.
366
00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:26,172
Josh, give me a ride
to your place, will you?
367
00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:27,172
I'’m bunking with you.
368
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,286
Hey, now that we'’re all happy
369
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,827
what do you say
we go to the park
370
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,862
and kick some butt
on the basketball court.
371
00:13:31,931 --> 00:13:33,000
Let'’s go, girl.
372
00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:35,655
I'’ll read the list
of ingredients
373
00:13:35,724 --> 00:13:37,551
and you tell me
what the potion is for.
374
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:40,275
Three cups of mashed entrails...
375
00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:43,206
Rodent of your
choice and a wart.
376
00:13:43,275 --> 00:13:45,758
Remember how hard it
used to be to find warts?
377
00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:47,344
Thank heaven for wart-mart.
378
00:13:47,413 --> 00:13:50,206
Amanda, do you have the answer?
379
00:13:50,275 --> 00:13:51,551
Amanda?
380
00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:52,827
Aman...?
381
00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:54,034
[ Hip-hop music playing]
382
00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:56,172
Dear, you really must
start paying attention.
383
00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:57,172
I'’m sorry.
384
00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:58,172
It'’s just that this
385
00:13:58,241 --> 00:13:59,689
has nothing to
do with real life.
386
00:13:59,758 --> 00:14:01,862
Hello? You'’re a witch.
387
00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:03,620
Right.
388
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:04,689
Maybe it would help
389
00:14:04,724 --> 00:14:06,355
if you actually put
some potions together.
390
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,310
Start with this one.
391
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,827
You'’ll find everything
you need in the pantry.
392
00:14:09,896 --> 00:14:11,793
Eye of newt is
under the snackwells.
393
00:14:11,862 --> 00:14:14,896
Okay, everything'’s in there.
394
00:14:14,965 --> 00:14:16,206
Here we go.
395
00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:18,482
"Spider, lizard, beak of parrot
396
00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:20,379
turn into a juicy carrot."
397
00:14:22,344 --> 00:14:24,413
That'’s a ferret, not a carrot.
398
00:14:24,482 --> 00:14:25,344
It'’s close enough.
399
00:14:25,413 --> 00:14:26,896
Not if you'’re making a salad.
400
00:14:28,793 --> 00:14:29,793
We'’re getting nowhere.
401
00:14:29,862 --> 00:14:31,827
I think we need to try
a different approach.
402
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:32,896
I'’m beginning to think
403
00:14:32,965 --> 00:14:34,586
we'’re just not cut
out for teaching.
404
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:37,034
Good thing I Don'’t
make my living that way.
405
00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:38,413
Oh, wait. I do.
406
00:14:38,482 --> 00:14:39,793
[ Man speaking korean]
407
00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:41,000
Why are you watching
408
00:14:41,068 --> 00:14:43,344
who wants to be a
korean millionaire?
409
00:14:43,413 --> 00:14:45,689
Remember the cable
guy you emasculated?
410
00:14:45,758 --> 00:14:47,620
This is his way of
getting back at us.
411
00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:49,000
500 channels... all korean.
412
00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:51,379
I'’m trying to put a
positive spin on it
413
00:14:51,448 --> 00:14:52,931
by learning the language.
414
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,413
[ Man speaking korean]
415
00:14:54,482 --> 00:14:56,103
That either means "I love you"
416
00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:57,413
or "pass the kimchi."
417
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:58,724
Possibly both.
418
00:14:58,793 --> 00:15:01,137
I can'’t believe the cable
guy would rip us off this way.
419
00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:02,724
This is very
unprofessional behavior.
420
00:15:02,793 --> 00:15:04,353
Perhaps he was
reacting to your behavior
421
00:15:04,379 --> 00:15:05,419
which was just plain ugly.
422
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:06,551
I have to say
423
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:07,551
the McLaughlin group
424
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,068
is just as compelling in korean.
425
00:15:10,896 --> 00:15:12,379
Well, i'’ll tell you
what you can do
426
00:15:12,448 --> 00:15:13,793
with your all-Asian package...
427
00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:15,000
Oh, yeah?
428
00:15:15,068 --> 00:15:18,551
Well, me and my ugly
attitude will see you in court.
429
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:21,620
Sounds like the cable
thing isn'’t working out.
430
00:15:21,689 --> 00:15:22,758
[ Gasps]
431
00:15:22,827 --> 00:15:24,689
And your face is a bit
of a train wreck, too.
432
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,000
What are you talking about?
433
00:15:26,068 --> 00:15:29,965
Let'’s just say you put
the "ecch" in reflection.
434
00:15:30,034 --> 00:15:32,275
[ Screams]
435
00:15:32,344 --> 00:15:33,413
I'’ll go out on a limb
436
00:15:33,482 --> 00:15:35,655
and guess you'’re
under some kind of spell.
437
00:15:35,724 --> 00:15:38,827
All I did was drink a potion
to make me more competitive.
438
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,482
Why did it make me look ugly?
439
00:15:40,551 --> 00:15:42,827
Well, have you been acting ugly?
440
00:15:42,896 --> 00:15:44,862
It'’s been mentioned.
441
00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:46,689
Perhaps your new
competitive side
442
00:15:46,758 --> 00:15:48,655
has made you ugly
before your time.
443
00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:50,068
I have to reverse the potion.
444
00:16:02,448 --> 00:16:03,965
Oh, that'’s much better.
445
00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:06,620
Now i'’ve got a big
mess to go clean up.
446
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:09,275
I was going to
take care of it, but...
447
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,655
Thank you.
448
00:16:11,896 --> 00:16:14,275
[ Man speaking korean]
449
00:16:14,344 --> 00:16:16,344
coming up next
on total request live
450
00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:19,103
find out which backstreet
boy is lactose intolerant.
451
00:16:19,172 --> 00:16:20,793
Wow, our cable'’s fixed. Great.
452
00:16:20,862 --> 00:16:22,275
For you.
453
00:16:22,344 --> 00:16:23,551
I was just about to watch
454
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:26,068
the north versus southkorean
barbecue cook-off.
455
00:16:28,827 --> 00:16:30,137
Hey, those are great.
456
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:33,034
Especially the one of
the Elvis impersonator.
457
00:16:33,103 --> 00:16:34,965
That'’s my aunt Charlotte.
458
00:16:35,034 --> 00:16:37,310
Sorry. Must be
the light in here.
459
00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:39,172
Look, I came to apologize.
460
00:16:39,241 --> 00:16:40,482
My behavior was ugly.
461
00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:41,551
And I feel awful
462
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,689
about how it
affected your parents.
463
00:16:43,758 --> 00:16:45,068
Forget about my parents.
464
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,482
What'’s going on with you?
465
00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:48,310
I'’ve never seen
you act this way.
466
00:16:48,379 --> 00:16:49,551
I know.
467
00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:51,034
I guess it just really upset me
468
00:16:51,103 --> 00:16:53,206
when you said you were
going to Polish me off.
469
00:16:53,275 --> 00:16:54,379
I said that?
470
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:57,448
That'’s the same thing dad
says to mom when they play.
471
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,827
Hey, tell me something.
472
00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:02,137
Have I ever yelled, "this is
a road, not a parking lot"?
473
00:17:02,206 --> 00:17:04,034
Only every time we drive.
474
00:17:04,103 --> 00:17:06,827
Oh, my god, i'’ve
become my father.
475
00:17:06,896 --> 00:17:09,620
I'’m just as aggressive
and competitive as he is.
476
00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:12,586
I guess we just need to
remember that this competition thing
477
00:17:12,655 --> 00:17:13,931
can get really out of hand.
478
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,896
Hey, I promise to
lighten up if you do.
479
00:17:15,965 --> 00:17:17,241
Deal.
480
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:20,000
Now, what are we going
to do about my parents?
481
00:17:20,068 --> 00:17:21,965
Maybe if we can get
them back out on the court
482
00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,554
they'’ll see how
much fun we'’re having
483
00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:24,780
and they'’ll lighten up, too.
484
00:17:24,827 --> 00:17:26,551
You know parents...
The only way they learn
485
00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:27,551
is by example.
486
00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:28,827
Worth a shot.
487
00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:31,344
Hey, if I become my father
488
00:17:31,413 --> 00:17:33,896
and my father becomes me...
489
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,931
Am I my own grandpa?
490
00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:41,137
Aunt hilda, aunt
Zelda, thanks for trying
491
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,413
but i'’m mailing
myself back to school.
492
00:17:43,482 --> 00:17:44,724
Zelda: Not so fast.
493
00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,103
[ Hip-hop playing]
494
00:17:48,724 --> 00:17:50,241
♪ Yo, witch, it'’s like this ♪
495
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,586
♪ i'’m tenacious z, I
got something to say ♪
496
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,689
♪ and i'’m notorious h-i-l-d-a ♪
497
00:17:54,758 --> 00:17:57,827
♪ you'’ll pass the test
if you learn this rap ♪
498
00:17:57,896 --> 00:18:00,172
♪ before you know it
you'’ll be queen of the zap ♪
499
00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:03,379
♪ mix a cup of lizards
with some unicorn toes ♪
500
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:05,655
♪ fold in some egg
whites, out comes a Rose ♪
501
00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:06,724
You listening, witch?
502
00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:07,793
I'’m listening.
503
00:18:10,034 --> 00:18:12,620
♪ Then listen up good,
you got potions to learn ♪
504
00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:14,965
♪ lint and boils
in a pewter urn ♪
505
00:18:15,034 --> 00:18:17,620
♪ all stirred up
makes a tasty treat ♪
506
00:18:17,689 --> 00:18:19,241
♪ to knock a
gremlin off his feet ♪
507
00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:20,241
♪ you'’re learnin'’ ♪
508
00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:21,793
♪ learnin'’ ♪
509
00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:22,586
♪ i'’m learnin'’ ♪
510
00:18:22,655 --> 00:18:23,551
♪ i'’m not so sure ♪
511
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:25,034
♪ yo, check this
512
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:27,068
♪ if you want a potion
to create an ocean ♪
513
00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:29,965
♪ mix salt and kelp,
and you got locomotion ♪
514
00:18:30,034 --> 00:18:32,310
♪ then add some wind,
and a couple of fish ♪
515
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,793
♪ and before you know
it... Swish, swish, swish ♪
516
00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:35,793
♪ i'’m learnin'’ ♪
517
00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:37,310
♪ she'’s learnin'’ ♪
518
00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:39,148
♪ i'’m gonna pass that test ♪
and be the best. ♪
519
00:18:39,172 --> 00:18:40,448
Oh, thank god.
520
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:43,310
Good. Now we can
put on garth Brooks.
521
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:45,862
Hey, where'’s your dad?
522
00:18:45,931 --> 00:18:47,689
Said he was going
to meet us here.
523
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:48,758
Where'’s my mom?
524
00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:50,482
Said she was going
to meet us here.
525
00:18:50,551 --> 00:18:53,689
Ben: Ball, please.
526
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,827
Dad? Mom?
527
00:18:55,896 --> 00:18:57,862
You guys are actually
playing together?
528
00:18:57,931 --> 00:19:00,137
Well, if you can call
what she'’s doing playing.
529
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,137
If i'’m not playing
530
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:04,620
how come i'’m winning two-love?
531
00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:08,448
A lucky bounce, glare, and
a bad call on a great serve.
532
00:19:08,517 --> 00:19:10,000
It was out!
533
00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:12,172
Boy, we'’ve got a lot of
work to do with these two.
534
00:19:12,241 --> 00:19:13,275
How do you want to start?
535
00:19:13,344 --> 00:19:15,000
We get in the car,
we never look back.
536
00:19:15,068 --> 00:19:16,379
You want to leave
them like this?
537
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:17,379
I thought we were going
538
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,379
to set an example.
539
00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:19,848
They'’re together,
they'’re talking.
540
00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:21,413
With them, that'’s
as good as it gets.
541
00:19:21,482 --> 00:19:22,413
You really think so?
542
00:19:22,482 --> 00:19:23,586
This is who they are.
543
00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:25,172
They'’re never going to change.
544
00:19:25,241 --> 00:19:26,758
The good news is, that I can.
545
00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:28,241
That is good news.
546
00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:29,241
Race you to the car?
547
00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:30,965
Have you learned nothing? Sorry.
548
00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:32,551
Hey!
549
00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:41,724
I'’ve got to work on that.
550
00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:43,034
You'’re playing well, Sabrina
551
00:19:43,103 --> 00:19:44,034
but i'’ve got to get rolling
552
00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:45,182
i'’m just going
to Polish you off
553
00:19:45,206 --> 00:19:46,931
and then i'’m out of here.
554
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,379
Polish me off.
555
00:19:49,448 --> 00:19:51,888
Well, I guess it wouldn'’t hurt
to have one more little drink.
556
00:19:59,413 --> 00:20:02,655
Okay, i'’m ready to play.
557
00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:09,068
Amazing.
558
00:20:09,137 --> 00:20:10,182
Is there any chance
you'’ll play mixed doubles
559
00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:11,241
with me at wimbledon?
560
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,862
No, you know,
i'’m not really into
561
00:20:12,931 --> 00:20:14,862
the whole competitive thing.
40420
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