All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S06E11.Cloud.Ten.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

So, which was it...

Staff meeting or tailgate party?

Staff meeting.

To discuss what'’s happening

with the sanitation workers.

Looks we'’re going to
have a garbage strike.

And I may be leading it.

Hey, you knew when
you became an intern

that it also meant
being a glorified maid.

Well, fortunately,
there'’s light

at the end of the
mustard-splattered tunnel.

I just wrote an article that
could land me my own column.

Ooh, I love it.

Today a crumb-sweeper,
tomorrow a...

Crumb-sweeper with a column.

So, what'’s the story about?

How credit card companies
prey on college students.

First, they get
solicitors on campus

that seduce the kids
with all kinds of free gifts.

Yeah, you mean like
phone cards, t-shirts, candy?

Yeah, how did you know?

Go on.

Well, then they rush them
into signing an application

before they even
read the fine print.

Stupid fine print.

I mean, that-that sounds
like a great idea for a story.

Thanks. But it
wasn'’t totally my idea.

Actually, roxie suggested it.

I'’m going to
take her to dinner.

When I can look at food again.

It'’s funny how you two
ended up being best friends.

Didn'’t she hate you at first?

Oh, roxie hates
everybody at first.

It'’s her way of
reaching out to people.

Uh, bub, bub, bub, bub...

That is a perfectly
good half cruller.

Hey, Mike, did you get a
chance to read my article yet?

Oh, yeah, I put aside
the sanitation issue

and the welfare
of the entire city

so I could really focus
on what my intern wrote.

Next time less
powdered, more glazed.

See, now, me... I prefer the
powdered over the glazed.

Who cares?

If Mike would just
read my article,

then he would stop thinking
of me as the doughnut girl

and look at me with
a newfound respect.

And with even more respect

when I get rid
of this jelly stain.

[ Chuckles]

Hmm... what the heck?

♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

Hard day gathering hard news?

I wish.

First, I had to pick
up donut crumbs.

Then I had to scrape
my ego off the floor.

Mike chastised me for
bugging him about my article.

Maybe this will take your
mind off your problems.

Roxie: Hi, and
welcome to chick chat.

Today a very special chick

is going to be
chatting with me...

My roommate Morgan Cavanaugh.

Has she gone mad?

Why would roxie have
Morgan on the show?

I'’m filing it under "bizarre,
inexplicable phenomena."

Morgan is my complete opposite

morally, spiritually,
and intellectually.

Because we disagree
on everything,

I thought it would make
for compelling radio.

I disagree.

Okay, here'’s our first topic.

How should students
design their curriculum?

Ideally, with a
curriculum designer.

But they Don'’t exist.

Giorgio Armani, hello?

[ Tapping desk]:
Untapped market.

I believe we students

should take classes
we'’re passionate about,

not just those that will get
us closer to our degrees.

That'’s fine if you want to be

the oldest living
sociology major on welfare.

I, however, am
going after the classes

that will get me a
seven-figure income

and homes on three continents.

You are the shallowest
person i'’ve ever met.

She had to have her on
the radio to discover that?

Morgan: You are a
hostile pseudo-intellectual

whose hair is begging
for a hot oil treatment.

And your hair is begging
for a brain to keep under it.

This is a train wreck
waiting to happen.

Here'’s the best part.

Pretty soon they'’ll be
bringing it all back here.

Which is why i'’m going
to get something to eat.

You want to come?

And miss the possibility

of women wrestling
in my own home?

I'’m out of here.

And while you'’re drooling,
try to protect the counter.

Zellie, have you seen
our finances lately?

We'’ve lost a ton
in the stock market.

Oh, everybody has.

But we'’re lucky.

We get to invest in
the other realm market.

I'’m sure we'’ve made
plenty of money there.

Let'’s check.

We'’re taking a bath.

Salem, what are
you doing in here?

I just like splashing
around in the bubbles.

[ Laughing]

Oops! Dropped the soap.

Zellie, we'’re in hot water.

We need an investment
that'’s safe, smart, and liquid.

I'’ve got it.

Real estate.

I'’ve always wanted
a vacation home.

Maybe a little beach
house on Cape Cod?

Forget it, sisso, we'’re
getting a mountain cabin.

I Don'’t do sand
crabs or Kennedys.

Okay, I had a horrible day
and a really bad Patty melt.

I Don'’t want to hear any
fighting out of you two.

Who'’s fighting?

We'’re giving each
other pedicures.

How do I look in "lilac fudge"?

Very stylish, but
I still prefer you

in "cherries jubilee."

I Don'’t get it.

On the radio you guys

were ready to
strangle each other.

That'’s before we racked up

the highest ratings
in the station'’s history.

Yes.

That'’s great.

Oh, you'’ll never believe
what happened to me today.

Hold on, Sabrina, did I tell
you that the station manager

called chick chat
his flagship show?

He says that he wants
to put it on the Internet

so that anybody
that missed it live

can catch it later.

[ Laughing]

I'’ll say it one last time.

A wrestling component

could bring in a
whole other audience.

So, anyway, I asked
Mike to read my article

and he just about
ripped my head off.

Oh, careful, roxie,
you'’re getting nail Polish

on my cuticle.

Roxie: Sorry.

Hey, do you know anything
that softens calluses?

Yeah, me.

As soon as you are
done with my toes,

I will teach you the
fine art of pumicing.

You know, my feet

could use a little work...

At some point... By a
licensed professional.

You know, speaking
of professional,

I may have to switch professions

since Mike chewed
me out about my article.

Which article?

Oh, you know, the one
you gave me the idea for.

The one about credit cards?

Yeah, yeah.

Big companies
ripping off students.

Hey, I got a great
idea for our next show.

Morgan: Outstanding. What is it?

Let'’s talk about god.

Oh, god is fabulous!

Without him, we wouldn'’t
have seasons and Joey fatone.

[ Giggling]

It'’s true.

Zelda: We looked at five
houses, and none of them

were good enough
for lady cheapskate.

The were all overpriced.

Oh, please, the last
seller we talked to

came down 50%.

That is, until
hilda made her cry.

It'’s called negotiating.

It'’s called strong-arming
an 85-year-old widow.

Excuse me, a spry
85-year-old widow.

Hilda, I Don'’t want to
fight about this anymore.

Why Don'’t you just pick
out a house that you want

and tell me where to sign?

That is the first rational thing

that you'’ve said all day. Tea?

Please.

Finally, some peace and quiet.

My life is a complete disaster.

So much for quiet.

I poured my
heart into an article

my boss won'’t even read,

and now roxie, who I
thought was my best friend,

is all buddy-buddy with
Morgan and clipping her toenails.

I'’ve got a better one.

My sister, who is supposed
to be mybest friend,

spent the entire
day dismissing me

while we were house-hunting.

I thought we had settled this.

Obviously I still have issues.

I'’ll say.

Issue number one:
You stink with money.

Zelda: Istink with money?
Your middle name is sucker.

I can'’t help that.

I'’m named after grandma sucker.

Well, i'’m going to go
jump off a speeding bus.

Thanks for your warm
words of consolation.

Our pleasure. Bye, honey.

Actually, if you remember,

grandma'’s full name was
sucker-buffoon.[Door opens]

[Door closes]

Ooh, perfect timing.

Oh, let me guess.

The cappuccino maker
exploded, and they need me

to wipe the crud
off the ceiling.

Yeah, but there'’s
something else.

There'’s a lull in the garbage
talks, and Mike'’s here.

Maybe now'’s a better time

to talk to him
about your article.

No way.

The last thing Mike wants
to do right now is talk to me.

Hey, spellman,
can I talk to you?

I want to do an article
on Adams college.

That'’s great. I'’m so
glad that you'’ve read my...

Have you heard these
girls on chick chat?

Well, yeah, I guess
somewhere along the way

i'’ve caught the show.

Are they as phenomenal
as everyone says?

I suppose, you know, if
"phenomenal" is your thing.

Yeah, it is.

Bruce, I need 1,500 words
on those chick chatchicks.

Hey, Mike, I know them.

You want me to take some photos?

Mike: That'’s
what I pay you for.

Oh, this just gets
better and better.

Salem: The other
realm people finder?

Yeah, i'’m trying to get
in touch with my past.

Maybe it'’ll help me
forget my present.

I can relate.

No, I can'’t.

What'’s wrong with your present?

Well, let'’s see.

My writing career is
over before it started.

My best friend has
a new best friend,

and they have a hit radio show

that was a flop
when I was on it.

Basically i'’m a
failure in all mediums.

It'’s "me-dyah."

And now my cat is
correcting my grammar.

I think that'’s known
as rock-bottom.

Who'’s Cathy winters?

Somebody who was
always there for me.

She was my best
friend till we were 16.

In fact, we both found out we
were witches at the same time.

Then she moved
to the other realm.

Hey, Cathy, it'’s me, Sabrina.

Oh, my gosh...
Sabrina ballerina.

Chatty Cathy.

This is so weird.

I was just thinking about you

and Beth connelly'’s
slumber party.

That time you put
my bra in the freezer?

Talk about colder than
a witch'’s... never mind.

So what'’s up, Sabrina?

I just missed you and wanted
to see how you were doing.

I'’m great.

I'’m working as a travel
agent in the other realm.

Hey, why Don'’t you
pop over for a visit?

Unless you'’ve got more
important things going on in your life.

I'’ll be right there.

Sabrina, it is so
great to see you.

You, too.

Wow, what a place.

You must be doing
really well, huh?

I'’m very lucky.

I have a very loyal clientele.

After their first trip with me,

they always seem to
come back for more.

So, what'’s your
specialty... Time travel?

Outer galaxy tours?

River rafting on Jupiter?

Actually, my specialty
is relaxation getaways

for people that are really
stressed out by everyday life.

Boy, did I come
to the right place.

Hey, Cathy, I had the
worst day at the office today.

My new boss is a
complete gargoyle.

Literally.

Any chance you can book
me a getaway right now?

Absolutely.

Seth, say hello to
my old friend Sabrina.

Nice to meet you.

That bad day stuff
must be contagious.

I had one, too.

Then you should come
up with me to cloud ten.

It'’s such a trip.

Cloud ten? I thought
they only went up to nine.

This is a new state-
of-the-art cloud.

30% fluffier than nine

and a silver lining that'’ll
knock your socks off.

Oh, I Don'’t know about this.

Come on, what do
you have to lose...

Except your problems?

Hmm... what the heck?

I am on vacation.

Here we are.

Wow, this is incredible.

Everyone seems so...

mellow.

The longer you'’re up
here, the mellower you get.

Hey, Cathy.

Thanks for another great trip.

Oh, uh, Bob back
there... He likes it so much,

he wants to extend his stay.

I'’ll get him squared away.

Andy, this is Sabrina.

She'’s a first-timer.

[ Knowing chuckle]

So what kind of worries
brought you here?

Oh, you know, thankless job,

friends who Don'’t seem to care,

life going right
down the toilet.

Hmm. Well, close your eyes,

take a deep breath,

and I guarantee all your
problems will disappear.

[ Inhaling deeply]

Wow. It'’s like my
problems never even existed.

[ Chuckles]

I can'’t believe i'’ve been
walking around like a wreck

in the mortal realm
when instead...

You could have
been on cloud ten.

Wow, this is incredible.

I feel like i'’m
floating on air.

And not just because
i'’m on a cloud.

What'’s so great
about this place

is it frees your mind

to think about the really
important things in life.

For instance...

I'’ve got four freckles
on the back of my hand.

Why?

Wow, that is deep.

And why is it
called peanut butter

if there'’s no butter in it?

I Don'’t know.

And why are they called peanuts?

I Don'’t know.

We should think about
this for a couple hours.

Okay.

What were we
thinking about again?

So, Sabrina,

are you enjoying yourself?

I am... what I yam.

And that'’s all I yam.

Hey, you know what would
taste so good right now?

A big old yam.

[ Gasps]

Thanks.

I love this place.

I think she'’s
hooked on cloud ten.

It'’s hard not to be.

You look at all those
poor idiots down there

who are still worrying
about their jobs,

their relationships,

and their needlessly
complicated lives.

Like that guy.

He'’s worried about getting
an "a" on his midterm.

Then he'’ll get an
"a" on his midterm

and worry about
getting an "a" on his final.

Only it'’s not final

because it doesn'’t end there.

Yeah, then he'’ll worry
about getting his degree,

getting a job, getting
married, getting old.

Oh, reality'’s a drag.

Even thinking
about it is a drag.

Then why are we?

Let'’s dance.

Whoo-hoo!

Zellie, the search is over.

I found us the perfect house.

I hope no octogenarians

were harmed in the process.

She'’ll bounce back.

Anyway, the house is
gorgeous and roomy.

Salem even gets his
view of the Kennedys.

If you call Ted in
a speedo a view.

What did you do,
try on my lipstick?

Yeah, and I ate a
tube of mascara.

Sue me!

Ow!

Anyway, Zelda, the house
is a great English tudor.

It has five bedrooms,

four baths, and hardwood
floors in every room.

Sounds perfect.

Plus, it'’s close
to the airport.

Closeto the airport?

It'’s on the runway!

Salem! Hilda.

Okay, i'’ll keep looking.

Great news.

There'’s been
some major progress

in the garbage negotiations.

Both sides have finally agreed

on where to have
the next meeting.

Ooh.

Hey, speaking of garbage,

Sabrina wrote this piece that...

I mean, this
really great piece...

Save your breath.

I read it. It is great.

And as soon as she
makes some changes,

it'’s going right in the paper.

That'’s fantastic.
Can I call and tell her?

No, no, it'’s a big secret.

Get her on the horn!

I need those changes done.

Well, to tone biceps, I
always do dumbbell curls.

Now, for triceps, nothing beats

two or three sets
of seated push-ups.

Man [ On phone]: What
exactly does that have to do

with the unemployment rate?

I think I can explain.

Morgan, the caller wanted
to talk about the lack of work,

not the lack of working out.

I know that.

I just thought listeners
would be more interested

in how I firm my upper body.

Okay, let'’s go
to the next caller.

You'’re on with chick chat.

Roxie, it'’s Josh.

Do you know where Sabrina is?

She'’s not answering
her cell phone.

You'’re calling a radio station

to find out where
your girlfriend is?

What'’s wrong with that?

I make my boyfriend
check in every half hour.

That is so dominating
and controlling.

You say that like
it'’s a bad thing.

Because it is.

Hello? Still
looking for Sabrina.

Whoa. Careful.

Man, you are wild.

Yeah, well, this place
really lets me let loose.

You know, i'’m glad
you enjoyed the trip,

but it'’s time for
you to go back.

What do you mean?

I Don'’t want it to be over.

Can'’t I stay just
a little longer?

You can stay as
long as you want.

Whoo-hoo!

But this time i'’m going
to have to charge you.

Oh.

Uh, fine, I understand.

I mean, after all,
this is your business.

Hey, anybody know
how to do the tush push?

I do!

Come on, everybody.

All right.

Shift your weight forward,
bump your right hip twice.

Shift your weight back,
bump your left hip twice.

Bump right forward,

bump left back,
bump right forward,

bump left back,
bump left forward,

bump right... Oh, oh, careful!

It'’s a long way down.

Plus, you have the security

of living in a gated community.

Gated community?

That'’s what you'’re
calling a drunken guard

stooped over a chain link fence?

On the plus side, he
never leaves his post.

[Squeaking] Ooh!

You like animals, Don'’t you?

That was a rat.

You know, I thought i'’d
get way more for my money

in the other realm.

Well, vermin aside,

you'’re looking at a
house that is rock solid.

[ Sighs]

Did I mention that
we'’re cloud ten-adjacent?

Occasionally you get some
riffraff falling from the sky.

Oh, my god.

That riffraff is my niece.

Sabrina?

Okay, you'’ve got
my pager number.

Let me know if you
want to make an offer.

Honey, are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, luckily this crappy
house broke my fall.

What were you
doing on cloud ten?

Uh... would you
believe the tush push?

Sabrina, this is so unlike you.

What'’s going on?

Well, I just got
really depressed

because everything in
my life was going wrong

and nobody seemed to care.

You know, everyone was
caught up in their own stuff.

I just felt invisible.

Like you were the odd man out?

Exactly. You have no
idea how awful it feels.

Actually, honey, I do.

You are looking at the
original odd man out.

Well, odd woman out.

But I dated the odd man out.

Aunt hilda, your point?

The point is, I
never fit in anywhere.

Your aunt Zelda was the brainiac

with the gracefulness
of a gazelle.

I was the one with the
funny voice and two left feet.

Good for walking circles,
not so good for buying shoes.

It must have been terrible.

It was.

I did whatever I could to
make myself feel better.

I even went to cloud seven.

That was the hip
cloud back then.

Mozart groupies,
mutton on a stick.

Rock me, amadeus.

So, how did you
tear yourself away

from all that great music
and meat and deal with reality?

I realized that I was
looking for validation.

And that it doesn'’t
come from the outside.

You'’ve got to
reach inside yourself.

You mean i'’ve got to
think about my problems,

analyze them, and
come up with answers?

No, I mean actually
reach inside yourself.

Here, i'’ll do it for you.

Talk to her.

She'’s the only one
who can set you straight.

Me, i'’ve got to go check
out a condo in purgatory.

It'’s got a view of heaven,

and they say the neighborhood
is really coming up.

Bye, honey.

So... here we are.

What do you
think about all this?

I think what you think.

I'’m you, the person
we'’re here to talk about.

What'’s up?

Well, I want you to
validate me for who I am.

Why should I do that?

Well, um... i'’m nice.

Doesn'’t sound
like you'’re sure.

Are you or aren'’t you?

I am!

In what ways?

Well, i'’m trustworthy, loyal...

So far you'’re a
dog. Keep talking.

Well, i'’m considerate,
smart, generous, funny,

loving, creative.

Don'’t you think?

It doesn'’t matter what I think.

If you want this stamp,

then you better not
have any doubts.

This is self-
validation, remember?

Look, here'’s the bottom line.

I, Sabrina spellman,
am a good person, okay?

I may not be a published
columnist or a hit on the radio,

but I am a worthy human being

and I Don'’t need
anybody else to tell me that.

Now give me

that stamp!

Ow!

What was I thinking?

Why did I even go to cloud ten?

It'’s not like it
changed anything.

And i'’ve got a
great life right here.

Well... maybe not right here.

[ Grunts]

[ Groans]

You think they'’d put
guardrails on that cloud.

So, you ready to go back up?

No.

I am through with cloud ten.

Sabrina, where have you been?

Oh, you know, just
doing my thing...

Floating around.

I'’m glad you'’re back.

I missed you.

You did?

Well, I-I didn'’t
think you cared

now that you and Morgan
are such good friends.

Hold the phone.

Who'’s spreading the rumor

that Morgan and I are friends?

Nobody... it'’s just that

you guys were laughing
and bonding and buffing.

Sabrina, i'’d wax a baboon

if it would make my radio
show more interesting.

I really thought she
was replacing me

as your best friend.

Please, did you fall on
your head or something?

Well, now that you mention it...

Sabrina, I get a best friend,

like, once every 15 years.

I didn'’t dump my Malibu Barbie

and I have no intention
of dumping you.

Thanks.

You still have
your Malibu Barbie?

It'’s our secret.

We Don'’t have time
to talk about that.

You'’ve got 49
messages on the machine.

Sabrina, it'’s Josh.

Great news: Mike
wants to run your article!

Oh, my god, he'’s
got to be kidding!

I'’m not kidding. Call me.

The other 47 are pretty
much the same thing.

Congratulations.

Thanks!

I'’m heading over to Josh'’s.

Oh, wait, before you go...

You might want to wash
the stamp off your forehead.

Here it is, our new property.

This is a toxic waste dump.

Now.

But in 400 years,
we'’ll put up a casino.

We'’ll be rolling in it.

Hilda, our shoes
are melting. Run!

Did I mention we got
a really good deal?