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1
00:00:09,862 --> 00:00:12,482
You'’re perfect.
2
00:00:12,551 --> 00:00:14,758
And I was worried you'’d
never meet anybody.
3
00:00:14,827 --> 00:00:16,206
So, who'’s the lucky girl?
4
00:00:16,275 --> 00:00:17,517
This is no girl.
5
00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:19,482
This is a woman...
6
00:00:19,551 --> 00:00:22,275
The lovely and talented
Adrienne barbeau
7
00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:26,034
star of the 1982 cinema
classic, swamp thing.
8
00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:27,517
This'’ll be a first...
9
00:00:27,586 --> 00:00:30,000
Watching you get
rejected by cardboard.
10
00:00:30,068 --> 00:00:31,896
Goodman, you'’re a freak.
11
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:36,103
To you. To the 1,200 guys
I outbid on eBay, i'’m a god.
12
00:00:36,172 --> 00:00:38,310
The most incredible
thing happened today.
13
00:00:38,379 --> 00:00:40,689
The secondmost incredible thing.
14
00:00:40,758 --> 00:00:42,586
Don'’t ask. Don'’t tell.
15
00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:43,827
So, what happened?
16
00:00:43,896 --> 00:00:45,827
The campus radio station
accepted our proposal.
17
00:00:45,896 --> 00:00:46,965
We got our own show!
18
00:00:47,034 --> 00:00:48,874
Oh, I Don'’t know about
this whole radio thing.
19
00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:51,275
We wrote up the proposal
for that at the end of last year.
20
00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:52,931
I Don'’t even remember
what we proposed.
21
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,689
Well, to quote you,
"a groundbreaking mix
22
00:00:54,758 --> 00:00:56,137
"of edgy talk,
music and politics
23
00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:58,482
that breaks the mold and
shakes up the student Booty."
24
00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:00,586
Ooh. That'’s
supposed to be "body."
25
00:01:00,655 --> 00:01:02,965
I hope that'’s not
why we got the job.
26
00:01:03,034 --> 00:01:05,103
We are so dead. How
are we going to fill up
27
00:01:05,172 --> 00:01:06,620
two hours three nights a week?
28
00:01:06,689 --> 00:01:08,241
Well, we have
tons to talk about.
29
00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:10,034
You and I lead
very exciting lives.
30
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,310
I spilled a little
grape juice on her.
31
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,827
Okay, we'’ve got two days
to get reallyexciting lives.
32
00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:26,172
♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪
33
00:01:26,241 --> 00:01:32,689
♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪
34
00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:35,827
♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪
35
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:40,000
♪ I wanna make it last...
36
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:45,517
♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪
37
00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:50,137
♪ and I like the way it feels.
38
00:01:57,655 --> 00:01:59,586
Spellman, how do I
look for our first show?
39
00:01:59,655 --> 00:02:01,689
Amazing. I mean, you
look great in that top.
40
00:02:01,758 --> 00:02:03,000
Uh, point of order.
41
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:04,172
You'’re doing a radio show.
42
00:02:04,241 --> 00:02:05,862
You can go to work
wearing my clothes.
43
00:02:05,931 --> 00:02:07,310
Ew! ew!
44
00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:12,620
Woman [ Over TV]:
Come into the plank.
45
00:02:12,689 --> 00:02:15,379
Drop into cataranga.
46
00:02:15,448 --> 00:02:17,482
Then come into cobra.
47
00:02:17,551 --> 00:02:20,034
Oh! I think i'’m broken.
48
00:02:20,103 --> 00:02:22,689
No pain, no gain.
Suck it up, sister.
49
00:02:22,758 --> 00:02:24,896
Remember, to achieve true peace
50
00:02:24,965 --> 00:02:27,310
one must remove oneself
from the outer world
51
00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:29,586
and embrace the silence within.
52
00:02:29,655 --> 00:02:31,827
Hilda, stop whimpering.
53
00:02:31,896 --> 00:02:33,379
I didn'’t know I was.
54
00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:35,862
Talk about being out
of touch with your body.
55
00:02:35,931 --> 00:02:37,448
[ Dog whimpers]Wait a minute.
56
00:02:37,517 --> 00:02:39,137
That noise isn'’t
coming from you.
57
00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:40,655
That'’s coming from out front.
58
00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:43,758
Oh, please let it be a
door-to-door chiropractor.
59
00:02:45,689 --> 00:02:48,965
Look! It'’s a dog. Oh...
60
00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:51,241
Oh, it'’s so cute.
61
00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:53,379
Can we keep it? Can
we? Can we? Can we?
62
00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:56,758
Oh, hilda, i'’m sure the
dog already has an owner.
63
00:02:56,827 --> 00:02:58,068
I Don'’t see one.
64
00:02:58,137 --> 00:03:00,137
I'’m sorry. We
absolutely cannot...
65
00:03:00,206 --> 00:03:01,275
Oh...
66
00:03:01,344 --> 00:03:05,137
Let this precious creature
perish on the street.
67
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:06,758
Come on in, poochie.
68
00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:09,241
What a little doggie-woggie.
69
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:10,448
Come here, come here.
70
00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:12,275
Hello. Hello.
71
00:03:12,344 --> 00:03:13,984
Salem: What is that
desperately needy thing
72
00:03:14,034 --> 00:03:17,793
doing on all fours, and
when did she get a dog?
73
00:03:17,862 --> 00:03:21,137
Oh, Salem, show a little
respect for your new-found...
74
00:03:21,206 --> 00:03:22,586
Brother.
75
00:03:22,655 --> 00:03:24,724
He'’ll rip me to shreds!
76
00:03:24,793 --> 00:03:26,896
He'’ll skin me alive!
77
00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:30,000
Oh-ho, nice doggie.
78
00:03:30,068 --> 00:03:31,689
Aw, look at the two brothers.
79
00:03:31,758 --> 00:03:33,655
Aw... you know what?
80
00:03:33,724 --> 00:03:35,896
I bet they'’d love
to share a pot roast.
81
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:39,206
This could work
out after all, bro.
82
00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:41,241
Oh, you are kind of cute.
83
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:43,310
I wonder what
we should call you.
84
00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:44,724
Your worst nightmare.
85
00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:47,827
[ Gasps and yells]
86
00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:48,965
This is so exciting.
87
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:50,827
Roxie, which
microphone do you want?
88
00:03:50,896 --> 00:03:52,724
Do they have one
that doesn'’t work?
89
00:03:52,793 --> 00:03:54,551
I just can'’t do
this. You'’ll be fine
90
00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:56,862
and even if you make a
mistake, nobody'’ll care.
91
00:03:56,931 --> 00:04:01,689
Oh, we'’re on in
five, four, three, two...
92
00:04:01,758 --> 00:04:03,862
Hey! Welcome to "chick chat"
93
00:04:03,931 --> 00:04:07,172
with your hosts,
Sabrina spellman and...
94
00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:08,482
Hello.
95
00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:10,344
Roxie king. That'’s right.
96
00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:13,551
Roxie king and Sabrina
spellman on "chick chat."
97
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,965
You know, get it? We
took the "it" out of "chit"
98
00:04:16,034 --> 00:04:18,482
and we substituted
it with "ick."
99
00:04:20,413 --> 00:04:23,206
So, roxie, what'’s on your mind?
100
00:04:23,275 --> 00:04:25,344
I Don'’t know.
101
00:04:25,413 --> 00:04:26,827
What'’s on yours?
102
00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:30,000
Well, uh...
103
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:31,965
You know...
104
00:04:32,034 --> 00:04:33,931
Lots of... stuff
105
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,724
and... um...
106
00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:40,413
Maybe we should, uh, kick
things off with some dope jams.
107
00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:41,862
[ Sighs]
108
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:44,689
Ooh, man, talking on the radio
is a lot harder than I thought.
109
00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:45,965
I told you.
110
00:04:46,034 --> 00:04:47,137
Well, we'’ll be fine.
111
00:04:47,206 --> 00:04:49,241
I mean, all we have to
do is chill with the trance
112
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:50,630
and then we'’ll
be free-stylin'’.
113
00:04:51,482 --> 00:04:52,862
I downloaded some jargon
114
00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:54,172
off the Internet.
115
00:04:56,758 --> 00:04:58,689
Welcome back to "chick chat."
116
00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:01,724
So I guess we chicks
should start chatting.
117
00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:07,068
Maybe we should
remind our callers
118
00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:11,586
that our phone
lines are still open.
119
00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:13,758
Wide open.
120
00:05:13,827 --> 00:05:15,862
They'’re open.
121
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:24,448
Um, you know, if you get
a busy signal, keep trying.
122
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,413
Can you try a little
harder, people?
123
00:05:29,482 --> 00:05:32,517
Or are you so busy hiding
in your academic cocoons
124
00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:35,137
that you have
absolutely nothing to say?
125
00:05:36,206 --> 00:05:37,726
Look! We got a call!
What should we do?
126
00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:39,758
I know! Answer it.
127
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:42,517
Welcome to "chick chat."
128
00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,103
This is roxie.
129
00:05:44,172 --> 00:05:46,586
My name is Angie, and,
roxie, you'’re totally right
130
00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:48,275
about the academic cocoon thing.
131
00:05:48,344 --> 00:05:50,689
Sometimes I feel like
i'’m so buried in my books
132
00:05:50,758 --> 00:05:53,241
that I have no idea what'’s
going on in the world.
133
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:54,482
What should I do?
134
00:05:54,551 --> 00:05:56,241
Uh...
135
00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:58,827
Ask somebody?
136
00:05:58,896 --> 00:06:00,862
You bring up a
good point, Angie.
137
00:06:00,931 --> 00:06:02,758
I mean, when you think about it
138
00:06:02,827 --> 00:06:04,379
who knows more about hell
139
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,551
the guy who reads
Dante'’s inferno
140
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,482
or the guy who'’s living
in a rat trap in southie?
141
00:06:09,551 --> 00:06:11,689
You'’re absolutely right.
142
00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:14,344
I just think we need to
find a balance in our lives.
143
00:06:14,413 --> 00:06:15,689
Right, Sabrina?
144
00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:18,310
My partner agrees.
145
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,655
Okay, next caller.
146
00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:21,517
Talk to us, Adams college.
147
00:06:21,586 --> 00:06:24,448
I'’m telling you, that
dog is evil incarnate.
148
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,965
Oh, Salem, you said
that about the gardener
149
00:06:27,034 --> 00:06:28,896
the mailman andus.
150
00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:31,310
If he was so evil, would he
have brought us popcorn?
151
00:06:31,379 --> 00:06:33,965
The cheesy kind? Our favorite.
152
00:06:34,034 --> 00:06:36,862
I'’m telling you, he'’s a
lowlife from the other realm.
153
00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:39,689
He swore he was going to
make our lives a nightmare.
154
00:06:39,758 --> 00:06:42,103
So now the evil one talks?
155
00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:44,275
Who'’s a good baby?
Who'’s a good baby?
156
00:06:44,344 --> 00:06:48,206
Hey, that'’s a cute
name. Let'’s call him baby.
157
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,241
Believe me, i'’m as fed up with
women'’s fashion as you are.
158
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,034
We'’re totally
pressured by society
159
00:06:53,103 --> 00:06:54,965
to be obsessed
with our appearance.
160
00:06:55,034 --> 00:06:57,068
I mean, just tonight,
my cohost and I
161
00:06:57,137 --> 00:06:59,931
spent an hour getting
ready for a radioshow.
162
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,034
Isn'’t that insane, Sabrina?
163
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:05,758
Oh, actually, I think the
word I would use is... "Insane"
164
00:07:05,827 --> 00:07:09,620
which... I believe, is the
word you used. Good word.
165
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:11,241
Well, that'’s it for today.
166
00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,758
Join us again next time
167
00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:16,206
for another hard-hitting
edition of "chick chat"!
168
00:07:16,275 --> 00:07:18,482
That was so, so cool!
169
00:07:18,551 --> 00:07:20,655
Were we awesome or what?
170
00:07:20,724 --> 00:07:23,344
Well, I think the
word I would use is...
171
00:07:23,413 --> 00:07:25,137
Whatever word you used.
172
00:07:25,206 --> 00:07:27,724
We rocked!
173
00:07:30,103 --> 00:07:30,827
[ Slurping]
174
00:07:30,896 --> 00:07:32,379
[ Sighs]
175
00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:36,413
[ Humming happily]
176
00:07:36,482 --> 00:07:38,310
[ Loud snap][ Salem screams]
177
00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:39,724
Who would be so demented
178
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,862
as to put a mousetrap
in my private sanctuary?
179
00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:44,586
Howdy doody.
180
00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:47,068
All right!
181
00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:48,758
Cards on the table.
182
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:49,931
Why are you here?
183
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,137
Why do you think?
184
00:07:51,206 --> 00:07:54,137
To sponge off those
two daffy broads.
185
00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:56,241
That'’s my racket, Mac.
186
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,275
Not for long, pallie.
187
00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:00,413
And the name is Phil.
188
00:08:00,482 --> 00:08:02,793
Say it with me. Phil.
189
00:08:02,862 --> 00:08:04,379
So, what'’s your game plan...
190
00:08:04,448 --> 00:08:06,034
[ Blowing raspberry]: Phhhil?
191
00:08:06,103 --> 00:08:08,827
To get those two broads
to give you the boot.
192
00:08:08,896 --> 00:08:11,931
Unless, of course, you want
to leave of your own free will.
193
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,896
I can assure you, that
is never going to happen.
194
00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:17,310
Now, if you'’ll excuse
me, i'’m going outside
195
00:08:17,379 --> 00:08:19,862
to complete some
unfinished business.
196
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:21,517
[ Chuckles softly]
197
00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:23,482
Ow!
198
00:08:23,551 --> 00:08:25,586
Glad I went with the granite.
199
00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:27,172
[ Whimpering]
200
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:31,586
Of course, you
realize this means war.
201
00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:33,586
Freezing her for later?
202
00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:36,586
Mock me if you must,
but in a matter of hours
203
00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:40,137
the bodacious Ms. Barbeau
has increased in value by 2.9%.
204
00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:42,068
Oh, by the way,
great show tonight.
205
00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:44,068
Thanks. I told you
we were awesome.
206
00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:46,827
We'’re even scoring with the
men-who-love- cardboard crowd.
207
00:08:46,896 --> 00:08:49,448
Good night.
208
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:52,448
Miles, I know you liked the
show, but tell me the truth.
209
00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:54,137
Did I make a fool of myself?
210
00:08:54,206 --> 00:08:56,965
No good could come of my answer.
211
00:08:57,034 --> 00:08:58,758
I stunk. I just couldn'’t
think on my feet.
212
00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:01,241
You know, I always thought
i'’d be a natural on the radio
213
00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:03,103
but it turns out that
roxie'’s the natural.
214
00:09:03,172 --> 00:09:06,034
Well, hey, when it comes to
performing, everybody'’s different.
215
00:09:06,103 --> 00:09:07,689
Some people can be spontaneous
216
00:09:07,758 --> 00:09:10,275
and other people, like me,
need to organize, prepare
217
00:09:10,344 --> 00:09:12,689
throw up a few times.
218
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:14,068
Thanks for sharing that, miles.
219
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,551
You'’ll let me know if there'’s
anything I can do for you.
220
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,655
Actually, there is. Do you
have any bubble wrap?
221
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,137
No.
222
00:09:20,206 --> 00:09:22,689
Hey, I thought we were
going to walk over together.
223
00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:24,965
Oh, um, yeah, well, I
wanted to get here early
224
00:09:25,034 --> 00:09:26,517
and go over some show ideas.
225
00:09:26,586 --> 00:09:29,068
For today or the whole year?
226
00:09:29,137 --> 00:09:33,068
Well, you know, it never
hurts to be prepared.
227
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:36,482
"Everything you always wanted
to know about everything."
228
00:09:36,551 --> 00:09:37,724
Oh, yeah.
229
00:09:37,793 --> 00:09:39,233
There are some
amazing facts in here.
230
00:09:39,275 --> 00:09:41,448
I mean, did you know that
pirates used to wear earrings
231
00:09:41,517 --> 00:09:43,077
because they thought
piercing their ears
232
00:09:43,137 --> 00:09:44,379
would improve their eyesight?
233
00:09:44,448 --> 00:09:47,206
I did not know that.
234
00:09:47,275 --> 00:09:52,103
Okay, we'’re on in
five, four, three, two...
235
00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:54,000
Welcome to "chick chat"
236
00:09:54,068 --> 00:09:56,551
with roxie king and
me, Sabrina spellman.
237
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:58,137
I'’ve prepared some interesting
238
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,482
and very neatly
arranged topics for tonight
239
00:10:00,551 --> 00:10:02,758
and i'’m only slightly nauseous.
240
00:10:02,827 --> 00:10:03,867
Thanks for the "heads up."
241
00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:06,103
Here'’s a topic.
242
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,517
"Let'’s talk about
the skyrocketing cost
243
00:10:08,586 --> 00:10:11,413
"of tuition at Adams college.
244
00:10:11,482 --> 00:10:13,275
"Two years ago, tuition went up
245
00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:14,793
"11%.
246
00:10:14,862 --> 00:10:16,862
"Last year it went
up another eight.
247
00:10:16,931 --> 00:10:18,896
"How is this trend
going to affect
248
00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:22,827
"the cost of education in the...
249
00:10:23,517 --> 00:10:24,620
Future?"
250
00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:26,965
A numbers game.
251
00:10:27,034 --> 00:10:28,655
Who can afford to play?
252
00:10:28,724 --> 00:10:31,413
Talk to us, Adams.
253
00:10:31,482 --> 00:10:33,689
Oh, see, I knew this
would get people thinking.
254
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,068
You'’re on with Sabrina.
255
00:10:35,137 --> 00:10:37,206
Man: On the last
show, roxie was talking
256
00:10:37,275 --> 00:10:39,724
about how women
are slaves to fashion.
257
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:41,689
Well, men are victims, too.
258
00:10:41,758 --> 00:10:44,793
I Don'’t have much money
to spend on clothes...
259
00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:47,793
Which feeds right into
Sabrina'’s tuition issue.
260
00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:50,379
I mean, how can kids
afford to buy the hippest stuff
261
00:10:50,448 --> 00:10:52,758
if every penny they spend
is on their education?
262
00:10:52,827 --> 00:10:54,517
Any thoughts, Sabrina?
263
00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:56,275
Uh, let me check.
264
00:10:56,344 --> 00:10:58,034
Peer pressure is an
enormous problem.
265
00:10:58,103 --> 00:11:00,379
Not just with fashion
but with drugs, drinking...
266
00:11:00,448 --> 00:11:02,172
Oh, here'’s something
about drinking.
267
00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:04,862
It says here that if you
stick your finger in a soda
268
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,137
it goes flat.
269
00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:07,413
How does that relate
270
00:11:07,482 --> 00:11:08,482
to anything
271
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:10,000
we'’ve been talking about?
272
00:11:10,068 --> 00:11:11,620
I Don'’t know. Let me check.
273
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:16,275
My fantasy guy... take Tom
Cruise'’s eyes, Steve Martin'’s wit
274
00:11:16,344 --> 00:11:18,517
and toss lightly with
Brad pitt'’s everything else.
275
00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:20,551
So, who'’s your fantasy woman?
276
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:23,103
Man: You. You'’re
smart and funny
277
00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:25,551
and you'’re not afraid
to speak your mind.
278
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,965
I love the "roxie king show."
279
00:11:31,586 --> 00:11:33,482
Sabrina, this is the
way talk shows go.
280
00:11:33,551 --> 00:11:36,310
Tonight people just weren'’t
interested in your topics.
281
00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:39,793
Well, they didn'’t even give me
time to look up stuff in my big book.
282
00:11:39,862 --> 00:11:41,344
Who does a college radio show
283
00:11:41,413 --> 00:11:43,620
with a stack of index
cards and a big book?
284
00:11:43,689 --> 00:11:45,172
Oh, so now you'’re the expert...
285
00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:48,034
The person I had to drag kicking
and screaming to even do the show.
286
00:11:48,103 --> 00:11:49,620
I didn'’t say I was an expert.
287
00:11:49,689 --> 00:11:52,172
I just think you'’d be
better off if you loosened up.
288
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:54,482
Well, on the first show, I
was trying to be spontaneous
289
00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:56,758
and miles thought it'’d be
a better idea if I prepared.
290
00:11:56,827 --> 00:11:58,931
Now you'’re saying, "Don'’t
prepare; Be spontaneous."
291
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,827
Well, i'’m not listening
to either one of you.
292
00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:02,079
If you'’re not going to prepare
293
00:12:02,103 --> 00:12:03,527
and you'’re not going
to be spontaneous
294
00:12:03,551 --> 00:12:04,551
what does that leave?
295
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:07,000
Wouldn'’t you like to know.
296
00:12:09,448 --> 00:12:11,931
Wouldn'’t ilike to know.
297
00:12:15,862 --> 00:12:17,217
We take baby to
the south of France
298
00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:18,561
for two weeks,
and then shoot over
299
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,034
to Munich for his
first oktoberfest.
300
00:12:20,103 --> 00:12:22,862
Hilda: How cute would
he look in lederhosen!
301
00:12:22,931 --> 00:12:26,275
Zelda: We'’ll get him one of
those caps with the feathers
302
00:12:26,344 --> 00:12:28,344
and then maybe
teach him to yodel
303
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:31,034
and top it off with a
big bratwurst dinner.
304
00:12:31,103 --> 00:12:32,172
It'’ll be fabulous.
305
00:12:36,517 --> 00:12:40,551
Salem saberhagen, how
could you do that to poor baby?!
306
00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:42,241
How could you be so naive?
307
00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:45,275
This bloated beast is
playing you like a violin
308
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:47,275
while he tries to bump me off.
309
00:12:47,344 --> 00:12:49,000
Don'’t be ridiculous.
310
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,896
All baby wants is a wittle wuv.
311
00:12:51,965 --> 00:12:52,965
[ Groans]
312
00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:54,965
Welcome to chick chat.
313
00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:57,758
I'’m Sabrina spellman,
the world'’s worst radio host.
314
00:12:57,827 --> 00:12:59,482
You'’re being kind.
315
00:12:59,551 --> 00:13:01,172
Salem, what are you doing here?
316
00:13:01,241 --> 00:13:05,000
I'’m a nosehair away from being
replaced by the hound from hell.
317
00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:07,000
I need a shoulder to cry on.
318
00:13:07,068 --> 00:13:08,551
You picked the wrong shoulder.
319
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,551
I'’m making a fool
of myself on the radio
320
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,620
while roxie sits back
and wows everybody.
321
00:13:12,689 --> 00:13:15,965
What do you expect? The girl
was born with the gift of gab.
322
00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:17,034
What was I born with?
323
00:13:17,103 --> 00:13:18,551
A very thick head.
324
00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:19,896
You'’re a witch.
325
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,758
Of course. If I
want the gift of gab
326
00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:23,448
all I have to do
is point and zap.
327
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,586
They'’re not saying anything.
328
00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:34,724
Give me a subject,
I start gabbing.
329
00:13:34,793 --> 00:13:35,931
Music.
330
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,103
Way too many boy bands.
331
00:13:37,172 --> 00:13:39,172
And please, only one
name per rap artist.
332
00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:41,965
Are you puff daddy, puff
diddy or puff the magic dragon?
333
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:42,965
Decide, man.
334
00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:44,034
Movies.
335
00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:46,413
Love '’em. I'’d love them
even more if I had eyes.
336
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:47,655
Got my eye-teeth though.
337
00:13:47,724 --> 00:13:50,103
Had my wisdom teeth
removed; Didn'’t feel a thing.
338
00:13:50,172 --> 00:13:52,517
It'’s amazing what'’s
going on in dentistry today.
339
00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:54,241
Let me ask you a question.
340
00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:56,724
How would you get
revenge on someone
341
00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:59,172
whose mission it
was to destroy you?
342
00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:00,482
I'’m just the gift of gab.
343
00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:02,275
"When you'’re
desperate to get even
344
00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:03,965
call upon my good
friend Steven."
345
00:14:05,655 --> 00:14:07,413
Let me guess. Even Steven?
346
00:14:07,482 --> 00:14:08,793
Well, originally, Stephan
347
00:14:08,862 --> 00:14:11,310
but "effen Stephan" gave
people the wrong idea.
348
00:14:11,379 --> 00:14:12,379
Whatever.
349
00:14:12,413 --> 00:14:15,206
Let'’s go do in the dog!
350
00:14:15,275 --> 00:14:18,655
Well, gift of gab,
you'’re just what I need
351
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,793
and i'’ve got just
what you need.
352
00:14:22,344 --> 00:14:25,931
I'’ll have a half-caf grande
cap, dry, with non-fat soy milk.
353
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,620
And for the lady?
354
00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:31,724
Nothing. She learned her lesson
after the grape juice incident.
355
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:34,103
You know, miles, it'’s one
thing to keep her in your room
356
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,758
it'’s another to take
her out on dates.
357
00:14:35,827 --> 00:14:37,551
Unfortunately,
this is our last one.
358
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,758
I just sold her on
eBay for a 10.9% profit.
359
00:14:39,827 --> 00:14:42,206
Any moment now, another
Adrienne barbeau fanatic
360
00:14:42,275 --> 00:14:44,551
is going to come in
here and rip out my heart.
361
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:51,000
You must be miles.
362
00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:53,000
Yes, and I must be dreaming.
363
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:54,344
You'’re...
364
00:14:54,413 --> 00:14:56,620
Adrienne barbeau.
365
00:14:56,689 --> 00:14:58,206
That'’s what they tell me.
366
00:14:58,275 --> 00:15:01,241
I'’ve been looking for
one of these for years.
367
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:03,470
Believe me, I would give
it to you, but I just sold it.
368
00:15:03,517 --> 00:15:06,862
To me. I was the highest bidder.
369
00:15:08,793 --> 00:15:10,586
I am so sorry.
370
00:15:10,655 --> 00:15:12,241
You must think
i'’m just a mercenary
371
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,620
who'’s using you to make money
372
00:15:13,689 --> 00:15:15,620
when, in reality, i'’m
your number-one fan.
373
00:15:15,689 --> 00:15:17,517
I worship the swamp
you sludge through.
374
00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,310
You are so sweet.
375
00:15:20,413 --> 00:15:21,344
We got to move.
376
00:15:21,413 --> 00:15:23,310
We'’re on the air
in half an hour.
377
00:15:27,206 --> 00:15:29,068
I'’ve seen everything
you'’ve ever done.
378
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,655
There is no one on the planet
379
00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,517
who knows more
about you than I do.
380
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:33,827
Here you go got to go.
381
00:15:33,896 --> 00:15:34,896
Wow, Adrienne barbeau!
382
00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,862
Or should I say the
original Rizzo in grease.
383
00:15:36,931 --> 00:15:38,344
Congrats on the Tony nomination.
384
00:15:38,413 --> 00:15:39,310
Oh, and...
385
00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:40,779
Loved you in the
fog and creep show.
386
00:15:40,827 --> 00:15:41,758
Oh, and then there'’s TV.
387
00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:42,724
And then there'’s maude.
388
00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:43,896
What about deep space nine?
389
00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:45,765
I mean, you played a
fantastic senator cretak.
390
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:47,931
Well, thank you. And you are?
391
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,517
Sabrina spellman, sophomore at
Adams college founded in 1891...
392
00:15:50,586 --> 00:15:52,251
Oh, I didn'’t know you knew
so much about Adrienne.
393
00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:54,241
I Don'’t; I just have the
gift of gab. Got to go.
394
00:15:58,689 --> 00:16:01,827
This better not be
public television again.
395
00:16:01,896 --> 00:16:04,103
I give and I give and I give...
396
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,172
Yello.
397
00:16:06,172 --> 00:16:07,379
Ohh!
398
00:16:07,448 --> 00:16:09,379
[ Quietly]: Ouch.
399
00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:13,206
Tsk-Tsk. Don'’t you know
smoking stunts your growth?
400
00:16:13,275 --> 00:16:14,896
I am good.
401
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:20,379
Oh, Steven, and
ready to get even.
402
00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:21,724
[ Chortles]
403
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:24,827
See, those frames
really go with his coloring.
404
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,000
[ Doorbell rings]
405
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,172
I'’ll get it.
406
00:16:27,241 --> 00:16:30,137
You are going to be the
envy of every dog in Bavaria.
407
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,068
Hello.
408
00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:34,068
How do you do?
409
00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:35,689
My name is Steven evenson.
410
00:16:35,758 --> 00:16:38,724
I saw your flyer, and I
think you may have my dog.
411
00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:41,241
Well, it certainly
looks like him.
412
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:41,931
Who is it?
413
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,655
The man who owns our baby.
414
00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:45,862
Oh, no!
415
00:16:45,931 --> 00:16:48,034
I'’ve heard about
horror stories like this.
416
00:16:48,103 --> 00:16:49,689
Adoptive parents nurture a child
417
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,793
then out of the blue
418
00:16:50,862 --> 00:16:53,379
he'’s snatched from their
arms by the birth father
419
00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:56,448
well, guess what, you
can'’t have him. Get out!
420
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:59,931
Hilda, if it really is his dog,
we have no right to keep him.
421
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,137
It can'’t be his dog; Baby
doesn'’t even recognize him.
422
00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:04,724
Yeah, you'’re right.
423
00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:06,793
Well, maybe it isn'’t him.
424
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:09,206
I mean, even if it was,
he seems happier here.
425
00:17:09,275 --> 00:17:12,137
The truth is, he was just
never very comfortable living
426
00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:14,310
in a 42-room mansion
with his own valet.
427
00:17:14,379 --> 00:17:16,482
Mansion and a valet?
428
00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:19,137
You'’re welcome to slap
a collar around myneck.
429
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,827
Frankly, he was
getting a bit lethargic
430
00:17:20,896 --> 00:17:22,034
between all the rich food
431
00:17:22,103 --> 00:17:23,724
at the country club
and those luxurious
432
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,137
sails on the yacht.
433
00:17:25,206 --> 00:17:26,310
Big yacht?
434
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:30,413
Mm, he seems to know you now.
435
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:31,586
Yes, he does.
436
00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:34,206
Yeah, but painful
though it may be
437
00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:35,827
I have to do
what'’s best for him.
438
00:17:35,896 --> 00:17:38,172
I'’m leaving the dog with you.
439
00:17:38,241 --> 00:17:40,068
No! Don'’t leave
me with these losers.
440
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:41,137
One'’s dumb as dirt
441
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,172
the other'’s got the
personality of a limp noodle.
442
00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:44,827
How dare you talk about us...
443
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:46,034
You talked!
444
00:17:46,103 --> 00:17:47,482
He does talk.
445
00:17:47,551 --> 00:17:48,965
Salem was right.
446
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:50,413
He was just using us.
447
00:17:50,482 --> 00:17:52,655
Salem: Giving credence
to the old adage:
448
00:17:52,724 --> 00:17:55,275
"Stick with the user you know."
449
00:17:55,344 --> 00:17:59,551
This whole talking animal thing
must seem a little odd to you.
450
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,655
Not at all.
451
00:18:01,724 --> 00:18:04,000
My real name is even Steven
452
00:18:04,068 --> 00:18:06,551
and i'’m here to take
this slobbering slimeball
453
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,551
to the other realm
obedience school.
454
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:10,241
Please, give me another chance.
455
00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:12,482
Let me spend the
rest of my life fetching
456
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,344
for the fetching
spellman sisters.
457
00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:16,310
Aww... Aww...
458
00:18:16,379 --> 00:18:17,620
Buh-bye.buh-bye.
459
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:23,482
Hey, roxie, how you
doing? Great to see you.
460
00:18:23,551 --> 00:18:25,413
How '’bout that nippy
fall weather out there?
461
00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:26,655
Somebody'’s in a better mood.
462
00:18:26,724 --> 00:18:28,689
Hey, smile and the whole
world smiles with you.
463
00:18:28,758 --> 00:18:29,758
Cry and you cry alone.
464
00:18:29,793 --> 00:18:31,206
Everybody loves
somebody sometime.
465
00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:33,172
Had a couple of double
espressos, did you?
466
00:18:33,241 --> 00:18:35,448
Nope. You'’re looking at
your new-and-improved cohost.
467
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:37,034
We'’re on in five,
four, three, two...
468
00:18:37,103 --> 00:18:38,103
Welcome to chick chat
469
00:18:38,172 --> 00:18:40,275
with roxie king and yours
truly, Sabrina spellman.
470
00:18:40,344 --> 00:18:42,103
I want to go right to
you guys out there.
471
00:18:42,172 --> 00:18:43,103
What'’s on your mind?
472
00:18:43,172 --> 00:18:44,724
Woman: I want to talk about
473
00:18:44,793 --> 00:18:46,689
the proliferation
of cell phones.
474
00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:48,103
Man, are they annoying.
475
00:18:48,172 --> 00:18:49,355
Not to me. There'’s
nothing I like more
476
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:50,458
than gabbing on the mobile horn.
477
00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:52,044
Speaking of horns, whatever
happened to Kenny g?
478
00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:53,148
And what does
that "g" stand for?
479
00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:54,769
I know it doesn'’t stand
for "general audiences."
480
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:55,872
What'’s a general
audience, anyway?
481
00:18:55,896 --> 00:18:56,976
Eisenhower, schwarzkopf, patton?
482
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,931
Next topic.
483
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,275
Mental health.
Specifically, yours.
484
00:19:01,344 --> 00:19:02,527
Oh, never been
better, which is great
485
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:03,838
because if you haven'’t
got your health...
486
00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:05,493
And in that, I include
dental... What have you got?
487
00:19:05,517 --> 00:19:06,931
You'’re speaking with Sabrina.
488
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,344
Man: 1 am really sick of
the food in the cafeteria.
489
00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:11,379
Do you know any good
Japanese restaurants?
490
00:19:11,448 --> 00:19:12,448
Japanese?
491
00:19:12,482 --> 00:19:13,896
Asoko wa yap'’pari iilnaa
492
00:19:13,965 --> 00:19:15,000
sakana shinsen De
493
00:19:15,068 --> 00:19:16,620
min-na mo iiyatsu jalnaa.
494
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,448
Could you say that
in English, please?
495
00:19:18,517 --> 00:19:20,113
There'’s a simply
marvelous place downtown
496
00:19:20,137 --> 00:19:21,177
where the fish is tip-top.
497
00:19:21,206 --> 00:19:22,896
Hey, if I wanted
to get ridiculed
498
00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:24,551
I would have called my mother.
499
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:27,310
Great topic... mothers and
sons, very complex relationships
500
00:19:27,379 --> 00:19:29,099
from oedipusto Macbeth
to my mother the car.
501
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:30,251
Speaking of cars, have you seen
502
00:19:30,275 --> 00:19:31,907
the new gas-electric
hybrids? They'’re to die for.
503
00:19:31,931 --> 00:19:32,941
To die for... great movie.
504
00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:34,493
Did you know Nicole
Kidman'’s from Australia?
505
00:19:34,517 --> 00:19:36,527
Did you know that'’s where
the duck-billed platypus is from?
506
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,251
By the way, did you know
the duck-billed platypus
507
00:19:38,275 --> 00:19:40,724
is the only mammal
that can lay an egg?
508
00:19:40,793 --> 00:19:42,527
Besides the mammal
that'’s laying one right now.
509
00:19:42,551 --> 00:19:43,665
So, i'’m not very good at this.
510
00:19:43,689 --> 00:19:44,734
Let'’s go to a musical break.
511
00:19:44,758 --> 00:19:46,000
Good idea.
512
00:19:48,068 --> 00:19:48,827
Sabrina...
513
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,275
What do you think you'’re doing?
514
00:19:50,344 --> 00:19:52,275
Trying to be something i'’m not.
515
00:19:52,344 --> 00:19:54,068
Most things come
really easy to me
516
00:19:54,137 --> 00:19:56,172
but I am not cut out
to be on the radio
517
00:19:56,241 --> 00:19:58,724
and nothing I can do
can magically change that.
518
00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:00,758
Granted, the surreal
Japanese interlude
519
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,241
might have been a mistake.
520
00:20:02,310 --> 00:20:04,862
No, the mistake was thinking
because i'’m a decent writer
521
00:20:04,931 --> 00:20:06,068
i'’d be good on the radio.
522
00:20:06,137 --> 00:20:07,206
But you'’re great at this
523
00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:09,310
so i'’m not going to get
in your way anymore.
524
00:20:09,379 --> 00:20:10,724
Sabrina, this
show is half yours.
525
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,379
I Don'’t want to take
it away from you.
526
00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:14,379
You Don'’t have to.
527
00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:15,896
Welcome back to chick chat.
528
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,103
This is Sabrina, and
due to circumstances
529
00:20:18,172 --> 00:20:20,758
way beyond my control,
this will be my last show.
530
00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:22,862
I know, I know. "What
took me so long?"
531
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:24,379
Well, now it is my pleasure
532
00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:26,137
to leave you in
the capable hands
533
00:20:26,206 --> 00:20:28,413
of the very talented
and witty roxie king.
534
00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:37,758
You'’re on with roxie.
535
00:20:37,827 --> 00:20:42,965
Talk to me, Adams.
536
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,965
Mmm-mmm! Nicely done, zellie.
537
00:20:45,034 --> 00:20:46,827
The short ribs
were only enhanced
538
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:48,586
by your five-star Sauerkraut.
539
00:20:48,655 --> 00:20:50,137
That'’s meager compensation
540
00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:52,275
for the shabby
way we treated you.
541
00:20:52,344 --> 00:20:55,655
Next up, lemon sorbet,
followed by a rump roast.
542
00:20:55,724 --> 00:20:58,000
Life is sweet.
543
00:20:58,068 --> 00:20:59,931
Oh, hilda'’s going
to be hard pressed
544
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,344
to top your generosity.
545
00:21:01,413 --> 00:21:02,724
Coming through!
546
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:04,758
Coming through.
547
00:21:04,827 --> 00:21:09,655
Okay, Salem, meet your new
one-stop elimination station.
548
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,965
Oh, i'’m so happy I could...
549
00:21:14,034 --> 00:21:16,517
I think I will.
550
00:21:16,586 --> 00:21:19,551
[ Humming happy tune]
551
00:21:19,620 --> 00:21:20,965
[ Grunting]
40706
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