All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S05E11.My.Best.Shot.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Ooh... hold it right there!

Ah, beautiful.

Easy for you to say.

You can'’t see what'’s
in the bottom of this.

I think i'’ll call that
one, "girl with cup."

I'’ve got a better
picture for you...

"Girl doing job."

You know, I could shoot
a whole series on this.

"A day in the life of a
minimum-wage slave."

Oh, i'’m flattered,
yet oddly put off.

You must be pretty jazzed about
this whole photography thing.

I'’m loving it.

After three years of
just bouncing around

and shelling out tuition

I found the secret
to enjoying a major.

Not changing it every two weeks?

No, picking something
you'’re totally excited about.

I mean, this is the first class

where I actually enjoy
doing the assignments.

Well, maybe you'’d
enjoy doing mine.

I'’m serious.

I think I could turn
this into a career.

That'’s great. That'’s awesome.

It'’s amazing you
found something

to be passionate about.

Yeah, for a while I was
afraid i'’d be making espressos

and scrubbing coffee
pots the rest of my life.

I'’d be happy if you just
did it the rest of the day.

Yikes, I wonder what I
should call that photo.

Oh, how about "boss'’s brilliance
eclipsed only by her beauty."

Make me double prints.

♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

[ Knock on door]

It can'’t be the avon lady.

She'’s gone dot-com.

You expecting anyone?

No, but if it'’s
g-men, last you heard

miles Goodman is a towel
boy, club med Pakistan.

Oh, no g-men

but we got the j-man.

What'’s going on, Josh?

Oh, nothing major, just
my whole world crumbling.

That doesn'’t sound
good. Come on in.

Thanks, Sabrina.

You know, it'’s a good
thing I have someone

who'’s sensitive, caring,
and always there for me.

Thanks.

I meant Morgan.

Could you go tell her i'’m here?

I would, but she'’s in
New York shopping.

Apparently your sensitive
girlfriend forgot to tell you.

Oh, man!

Why does Morgan have to be gone

on the same day I
find out I have no talent.

Who said you have no talent?

My professor.

I showed him some of
the photographs I took

and he said they were "ho-hum."

Big deal! What does
that bozo know anyway?

That bozo spent 20
years at lifemagazine

and shot over 50 covers.

So, who reads lifemagazine?

People only
look at it for the...

The pictures!

Obviously, I Don'’t
have what it takes

to be a photographer.

I can'’t believe
you'’re calling it quits

after one off-the-cuff comment.

He must'’ve said something
encouraging about your work.

Yeah, sure, he said
I had some potential.

But he called my
pictures "pedestrian."

But "potential" is good.

And "pedestrian"
isn'’t so bad either.

I mean, whenever
I cross the street

I am proud to be a
pedestrian... Whoo!

Nice try, but i'’m seeing
a lot of lattes in my future.

You know, nobody'’s an expert

when they start out.

You think Mozart just plopped
himself down in front of a piano

and started playing concertos?

Okay, bad example.

Look, the point is

it takes years to
develop a craft.

Look at my aunts
hilda and Zelda.

Which craft did they develop?

Witchcraft, who said anything

about witchcraft?

I like your pictures.

Well, some of the students

did say nice things
about "bird on a stoop."

Well, then, get out there.

Shoot more birds, more stoops.

This is your passion.

You have to go after it!

You really think so?

I know so.

And you heard it

from one of the world'’s
greatest pedestrians.

Hey, aunt hilda

you know how you'’re
always looking for new ways

to bring in people
to the coffeehouse?

You mean, like last week

when I started that rumor that
Brad Pitt had been spotted here?

That was a rumor?

I worked extra shifts!

Wow!

There really is one
born every minute.

Anyway, I thought of a great
new idea to bring in business.

Let local artists
display their work here.

I'’m not exactly
bouncing off the walls.

You get a percentage
of whatever they sell.

I'’ll take that as a "yes."

And you know, it'’s
not just about money.

The coffeehouse could become
a famous watering hole for artists.

Like the great
salons of gay paree.

I could be a
patron of the arts...

An inspiration
to young talent...

[ Speaks French]

Great!

So where do we find our
first artist to sponge off?

What a coincidence.

I think I see one now.

Josh?

He can'’t even draw the blinds.

He'’s a really
talented photographer.

Hey, guess what!

My aunt wants you to display

some of your photographs here.

Are you serious?

Absolutely.

My raison d'’etra is
to encourage creativity

enlightenment, vision...

Cash only. All sales are final.

Very powerful imagery.

Thank you.

I love the way the
oak tree'’s beauty

is juxtaposed against the
hideousness of acid rain.

Oh, that'’s an iced mocha

someone splashed on it.

Oh.

I love it... the perfect melding
of art and menial labor.

Sabrina, nobody'’s
liking my stuff.

I think this whole
idea was a bust.

Oh, that'’s not true.

I mean, look...

That woman is
checking out your work.

She'’s checking for
spinach in her teeth.

Remind me again, what
is ten percent of nothing?

Aunt hilda, you'’ve got
to have a little Patience.

I mean, you know the saying:

"Moulin Rouge
wasn'’t built in a day."

That was Rome.

And if they had listened to
me instead of that dufus Caesar

it would'’ve been done by noon.

Look, Sabrina, I
know you meant well

but the public has spoken.

My photos stink.

Wait, Josh, wait...

Brilliant!

Look over there.

Who do I talk to
about buying this?

Me.

Did you hear that?

Someone wants to buy my photo!

That'’s great!

Exquisite, isn'’t it?

We'’d like to
purchase this piece.

Sorry, this gentleman
already asked about it.

I'’ll give you $800 for it.

However, no deal is
final until the check clears.

$800? Did you hear that?

I'’m willing to pay $1,000.

$1,000 for that?

He'’ll take it!

Congratulations, you are now the
proud owner of "cat without shame."

My wife'’s going to love it.

Apparently he'’s married
to "wife without taste."

Whoo-hoo... you sold
your first photograph!

Yeah, for 1,000 bucks.

Not so fast, ansel Adams.

One of those c-notes

is mine.

Someone actually paid
money for a picture of you?

That'’s right, toots.

1,000 smackeroos for
saberhagen in the buff.

You'’re sure it
wasn'’t pesos or lira?

Face it, i'’m a
natural-born star.

Zellie, i'’m ready
for my close-up.

Trust me, you have no
future in show business.

I'’ve already got
one paw in the door.

Read this.

Hmm, "open auditions for little
wussies cat food commercial."

I faxed my head
shot this morning.

The one with the
"come hither" look.

Just how do you plan
to get to this audition?

Purr, I love you...

I assure you, that is
not helping your case.

Please, Zelda, let
me follow my dream!

I'’m a college professor.

I Don'’t have time
to be your chauffeur.

How about my co-star?

They want real pets

and real owners
in the commercial.

Oh, Salem, i'’m not an actress.

Are you interested in
what is or what could be?

Just look at that face.

Well, it is uncommonly
symmetrical.

You want to hide those
perfect cheekbones

behind a physics book

or share them with those
who weren'’t as blessed?

Well, I wouldn'’t
want to be selfish.

That'’s my girl.

Oh, i'’m good.

I'’m real good.

Josh, didn'’t my aunt tell
you to clean up the back?

Uh, yeah, i'’ll get to it.

Hey, i'’m thinking of shooting

a whole series on
asphalt driveways.

Wouldn'’t that be a huge seller?

Me, i'’m more of a
cement kind of gal.

But let'’s face it, you know

selling art is a hit-
or-miss kind of thing.

Some artists go
years between sales.

Well, maybe you didn'’t hear me.

I said asphalt.

Josh, I Don'’t mean to be, um...

Oh, what is it called...

Your boss?

But would you mind

reacquainting
yourself with a broom?

Hilda, relax.

I'’m the guy that'’s
turning your coffeehouse

into one of the
world'’s great salons.

And everybody
loves a clean salon.

That'’s a beautiful cat.

Oh, thanks.

We just had Mandy'’s
highlights done.

Your cat gets highlights?

Oh, they'’re worth every penny.

Mandy'’s been raking
in the magazine work

since we gave her
the silver weave.

You know, you might
want to do something

with your little alley cat.

His coat does look a bit dull.

[ Hissing]

Miss spellman, we'’re
ready for you and Salem.

Well, come on, Salem.

I mean, here, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Mandy, what happened
to your diamond collar?

Woman: This is Zelda
spellman and Salem.

Simply beautiful... oh...

Cat'’s a little scruffy, though.

Woman: Now, Zelda...

You'’ll say your line

then you put down
the bowl of little wussies

and Salem will
come running to eat it.

Got it.

Ready... and action.

Fluffy is such a picky eater.

I'’ve tried 40 kinds of cat food

and he turned up
his nose at all of them.

I sure hope he
likes little wussies.

Man: Excellent.

We'’ll see you at
callbacks on Friday.

Did you hear that, Salem?

We made the final cut.

But you'’ll need to
work with the cat.

He'’s way over the top.

Well...

I'’m sure he'’ll get
it right next time.

After all, he is a
natural-born star.

And a diamond thief!

Excuse me, miss,
how much is this photo?

You mean you want to buy it?

Like, of your own free will?

It is for sale, isn'’t it?

You bet it is, let'’s
go talk to the artist.

Hey, Josh, great news.

This customer is interested
in "dog on credenza with cat."

I work for a vet.

It'’d be perfect in the office.

I'’ll give you $50 for it.

[ Laughing]: $50!

Buddy, that won'’t
even cover the sales tax.

Josh, that'’s more than
you make in a day'’s tips

and more important, he
appreciates your work.

Sabrina

my photograph of
your cat sold for $1,000.

This shot has a cat and a dog so

it'’s worth at least 2,000.

That'’s too rich for my blood.

You know, they say
an artist'’s body of work

actually quadruples
after he'’s dead.

Your point being?

If you'’re not
behind that counter

in 30 seconds,
you'’re going to be

one rich stiff.

Hey, Don'’t talk
to me like that.

You'’re $100 richer
because of me.

A hundred dollars!

I'’m going to Prada!

Okay, I think we all need
to take a deep breath

calm down, and
remember why we'’re here.

To get america
hopped up on caffeine.

Thank you.

Maybe you'’ll listen to her.

Okay, all right.

I think I see what'’s
going on here

and hilda, i'’m sorry.

Thank you.

What are you sorry for?

I feel bad that I
have the talent

to develop this
exciting new career

and you'’re going to
be stuck grinding beans

the rest of your life.

Josh!

Actually, grinding beans
is the employees'’ job

which at this point, is
hanging by a thread.

Is that a threat?

Ooh! Talented andsmart.

Okay, you can save
the witty repartee.

Oh, did you hear that,
he called you witty.

I quit.

Josh, wait.

Aunt hilda, it'’s not his fault.

Of course it'’s his fault.

Who else inflated his ego?

Thought he was god'’s
gift to photography?

Made him think he was
too good to do his job?

Can I get back to you on that?

It is still inconceivable to me

to think that someone
paid Josh 1,000 bucks

for a picture of Salem.

Would it be more conceivable

if that someone
were under a spell?

You didn'’t?

Josh just seemed so depressed

when he wasn'’t
selling any pictures

so I thought i'’d give him
a little confidence booster.

You boosted his
confidence all right.

It'’s amazing his
body can still support

that beach ball of a head.

Do you know of any spells

that can help
deflate a guy'’s ego?

Only mother nature'’s
remedy... Male-pattern baldness.

Great. Now what
am I going to do?

Oh, you won'’t
have to do anything.

The real world will pummel
that poor kid down to size.

Before you know it, he'’ll come
crawling through those doors.

I'’ll save a space for
that picture right here.

I'’ll call it "employee comes
back with tail between legs

"begging for job
while boss tries

to find shorter
name for picture."

Titles are tough.

Hey, miles, did anyone call?

Yes, an unidentified source

made contact on my gamma scan.

No, I meant for me.

Oh, Josh called.

Oh, great. Did he happen to
say what a big mistake it was

for him to just up and
quit the coffeehouse?

Close. He said he'’s
never setting foot

in the java jam again.

Great.

And... oh, yeah.

He took the money he made
and rented gallery space

to have a showing
of his work on Friday.

He sells one photograph
and he'’s going

to give himself a
gallery exhibition?

Who'’s going to show up?

I'’ll go. I think his
stuff is pretty good.

You do?

Yeah, but I also
like to lick the tops

of nine-volt batteries.

Well, if you think he'’s
good and I think he'’s good

there'’s no reason we can'’t get
other people to come see his work.

We just have to get out
there and spread the word.

Tell all your friends.

You already know, and roxie'’s

out of town at
her family reunion.

That was easy.

Miles, i'’m desperate.

Get anybody... your shrink

the head of your
dungeon & dragons club.

Wait. Your shrink is the head of
your dungeons & dragons club.

[ Imitating Marlon Brando]:
I could'’ve been someone.

I could'’ve had class.

I could'’ve been a contender.

Salem, what are you doing?

You'’re the cat.

The cat doesn'’t have lines.

I know. I'’m getting
into character.

I'’m a method actor.

What you are is a bad actor.

Oh, yeah?

Have you ever
tasted little wussies?

I'’m acting my tail off.

If only I had someone
decent feeding me lines.

May I remind you

that i'’m the one the
director complimented.

May I remind you

that your skirt was
hiked up to your nostrils.

If that'’s how my generosity
is going to be rewarded

you can just find yourself
another quantum physicist

to help you push kibble.

Zelda, Don'’t go.

This is my process.

I'’m a temperamental actor.

I have pictures of you
with the brothers grimm.

All right, let'’s
take it from the top.

Hey, thanks for coming.

Hey, free cheese and
crackers? I'’m there.

Josh: Oh, hey guys.

Oh, hey, Josh. Great turnout.

Guess you got your money'’s
worth out of that pennysaverad.

Oh, it wasn'’t just the ad.

Obviously the guy who
bought "cat without shame"

was so blown away by my work

that he spread the word to
his friends in the art community.

Uh-huh. Works for me.

Excuse me. Are you
the photographer?

Well, i'’ve taken a few photos.

But my subjects can'’t be
seen with the naked eye.

I think this is the gentleman

you wanted to
speak to right here.

It'’s his show.

Great. Maybe you can
help us settle a debate.

I'’d love to.

Is this longhorn
cheddar or Vermont?

Oh, i'’ll look into that.

Um, Josh, why Don'’t
you go introduce yourself

to that person over there
admiring that picture?

Well, I see i'’m
not the only one

who likes to stop
and smell the roses.

Pretty cool, huh?

Beyond cool.

You can totally feel the vibe

of the extraterrestrial
hiding in this unopened bud.

Friend of miles'’?

As far as I know,
he'’s still in Pakistan.

Uh, Josh, this is Ethan
from photo opmagazine.

He says they'’re always looking

for interesting new
artists to publish.

Well, i'’m new and interesting.

I think the real question
is whether your magazine

is hip and cutting-edge
enough for me.

Uh, all that talent
and a sense of humor.

My pieces concentrate

on the intent behind
an artist'’s work.

Was "bird on stool"
a visual metaphor

for man'’s isolation

in a soulless,
technology-driven world?

Actually, I was just
waiting for the bus

and I wanted to get a picture
of the bird before he flew away.

And?

And there'’s the picture.

So there was no

aesthetic vision
behind the piece?

I just liked the bird.

Photography is more
than just pointing a camera

at whatever crosses your path.

A good photographer
should be trying

to convey an emotion
or a point of view

through his pictures.

As opposed to me, who'’s
just a ho-hum pedestrian?

Excuse me?

Uh, cheese?

We'’ve been having
an interesting debate.

Is this longhorn
cheddar or Vermont?

I think that more thought
went into the cheese platters

than the photographs
hanging on the wall.

That'’s not true.

These came
ready-made from costco.

Well, you blew it.

Not only did you
race through your lines

but on the day of our callback

you dressed like bea Arthur.

It'’s a look.

Would you quit panicking?

I'’m sure we did fine.

Why else would they
have asked us to stay?

Hello.

Isn'’t that skirt a little
drafty for January?

The director seemed
to warm right up to it.

Congratulations miss spellman.

You'’ve got the part.

Really? Oh, that'’s fantastic.

Hope you saved the
receipt for that skirt.

Oh, obviously,
they decided to go

for the frumpy housewife look.

You'’ll be perfect.

I'’ve got some good news

for you, too, Mrs. Scott.

The role of the
cat goes to Mandy.

[ Muffled protest]

Well, it'’s a good thing
the party broke up.

We'’re all out of
crackers and cheese.

Sabrina, that'’s why
the party broke up.

It'’s the only reason
those people came.

Let'’s face it.

I'’m never going to
sell another photograph.

I'’m a one-trick pony.

Maybe you'’re right. Maybe
you'’re not cut out for this.

Is that what you really think?

Of course not.

But it doesn'’t
matter what I think.

Do you like this picture?

Well, yeah, I do

but other people
Don'’t seem to...

Oh, forget about other people.

This isn'’t about other people.

This is about you
believing in yourself.

And if you measure your talent

based on other
people'’s approval

your self-esteem is
going to go up and down

faster than a jackrabbit
on a pogo stick.

Why are you suddenly
talking like jed clampett?

I'’m trying to make a point.

You told me you
loved photography.

Yeah, I do.

Well, then you
got to stick with it.

Persistence is everything.

You'’re never
going to get better

unless you fail
every now and then.

Someone forgot to invite me

to their gallery show.

So when does the party start?

It'’s over.

And you'’ll be happy to
know I didn'’t sell a thing.

Josh, I didn'’t come here
because I wanted to see you fail.

Sure, you neglected your
responsibilities at work

and treated me like dirt

but I wasn'’t going to miss

your first exhibition.

Now, where'’s that free cheese?

Hilda, look, I owe
you a big apology.

My behavior at the coffee
shop was totally out of line.

It'’s okay. Sometimes
people get carried away

and do things without thinking

about the repercussions.

Isn'’t that right, Sabrina?

Absolutely.

Look, I Don'’t know what
kind of photographer you are

but when you pay attention
you'’re a heck of a manager.

So what do you say?

I'’d love to.

Great. Well, i'’m going
to look around for a while

and, uh, if you find
any of that cheese

give me a holler.

Hey, look, it'’s that
guy that wanted to buy

the picture at the coffeehouse.

Hey, I know you.

You'’re the guy
who couldn'’t afford

"dog on credenza with cat."

Yes. Just because I
can'’t afford your work

doesn'’t mean I can'’t enjoy it.

Aw, who says
you can'’t afford it?

You did.

That was before.

Here you go.

It'’s yours, on the house.

I couldn'’t just
take it for free.

Well, sure you can.

Between you and me

i'’ve still got a
little work to do

on my aesthetic vision.

At least let me give you
the $50 I offered you before.

Then I wouldn'’t feel so guilty
about the names I called you

after I was laughed
out of the coffeehouse.

Wow, so you got your job back

and sold a picture?

Must be your lucky day.

Yes, it is.

Thanks, Sabrina.

If it weren'’t for you, I
never would have had

the courage to try this.

Well, it'’s the
least I could do.

Trust me on that.

What do you say
we take this 50 bucks

get crazy and blow it
on a brick of velveeta?

Keep your money.

I saved us a
little private stash.

Monsieur.

Thank you, mademoiselle.

Oh... say cheese.

Did I hear cheese?

Oh! Hilda!

The commercial'’s
coming on. Hurry.

Oh, I can'’t believe you'’re
going to be on television.

I can'’t believe they hired

that no-talent, silver-tipped
fur ball over me.

That'’s show biz.

You tried, you
lost, get over it.

[ Snarling]

Shh. Here comes my big entrance.

I'’ve tried 40 different
kinds of cat foods

and fluffy has turned
her nose up at all of them.

I sure hope she
likes little wussies.

There'’s my leg.

My arms, my arms.

Where'’s your head?

Little wussies,
you'’re a lifesaver.

Zelda: That'’s it?

Three and a half hours
in hair and makeup

and they Don'’t
even show my face?

That'’s show biz, babe.

You tried, you
lost, get over it.

[ Snarling]