All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S05E03.Heart.of.the.Matter.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

As the new owner, I
intend to turn hilda'’s

into Boston'’s premium
coffee concern.

I will be totally dedicated
and personally involved

in every critical
coffee-related decision

from the moment we open
until the moment we close.

You'’re going to be
here at 5:00 A.M.?

5:00 A.M.?!

Who'’s up and
dressed by 5:00 A.M.?

Uh, that would be our customers.

And my life is supposed
to revolve around them?

Hello? Waiting for coffee?

Hello. Having a meeting.

Hilda, you Don'’t have
to be here all the time.

We all take different shifts.

I call the afternoon shift.

You'’re the owner.

You can take
whatever shift you want.

Already, you are becoming
my favorite employee.

I'’m promoting you to manager.

He isthe manager.

Could somebody manage
to make me a grande latte?

Pipe down, cranky.

You should be home
having breakfast.

Look, i'’ll make you a latte

and for your Patience,
i'’ll throw in a free scone.

Listen, Don'’t bother.
I'’m out of here.

I'’m going to the
cafe down the block

where they not only
advertise coffee, they sell it.

Wait! Come back!

Or better yet, take me with you.

Four bucks for a cup of coffee?

These prices are outrageous.

What am I paying you?

Minimum wage.

Ooh, hilda'’s getting a beemer.

Hilda, normally, at
the end of the day

we split the
money in the tip jar.

Is that okay with you?

Absolutely.

I can always use extra cash.

Uh, a few things you
should know about my aunt.

She'’s insane, she'’s insane...

And, oh, yeah... she'’s insane.

She'’s just new.

It'’ll take a few weeks
to learn the ropes.

But while she'’s learning

I could think of something
that could soften the blow.

Taking the next few weeks off?

I was thinking more
along the lines of dinner.

Saturday night?

Josh, how can I put this?

How about, "sounds
great, Josh. I'’d love to go."

Look, I made up my
mind when I started college

that I was going to
try dating new people.

So, date new people.

Hi, i'’m Irving. Have we met?

Look, Irving, nice to meet you

but can you please tell
Josh it ain'’t going to happen.

Why not?

You Don'’t think we'’d have fun?

Josh, the point
is, we have history.

There are bound to be
feelings and emotions

and that could lead
to something serious.

I'’m asking you
for a date, Sabrina

not to pick out a house
and names for the kids.

Good, '’cause i'’m
too young to commit

to the two-story victorian
with the big backyard

for little Courtney and Todd.

Todd?

You'’d name a kid Todd?

The point is, I dated the same
guy all through high school.

I owe it to myself to
experience something new.

Let'’s move it, flunkies.

I'’m not paying you
people minimum wage

to sit around and yak.

So, are we still friends?

Right. Friends.

Someone looks down.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I guess.

I am sure it'’s nothing a
double mochaccino can'’t cure.

Come on, i'’m buying.

It'’s on the house.

In your dreams, bean boy.

Four bucks.

Oh! Oh!

Wow, nice...

Footwear.

Oh, thank you.

I wasn'’t sure if open toes

were too bold for the
academic environment.

Oh, no, I like open
toes. Open toed shoes.

I like shoes in general.

I mean, I Don'’t have a
shoe fetish or anything.

I also like socks.

But not with sandals.

You sure have a
lot of books, miles.

You know my name?

You'’re in my physics class.

Yes... yes, I am.

And may I say i'’m
flattered and impressed

that, out of all those students

you remember my name.

You'’re also
Sabrina'’s roommate.

Good point. I am her roommate.

We Don'’t actually
live in the same room.

It'’s strictly platonic.

Yes, i'’m familiar
with the situation.

I'’ll see you in class, miles.

Right. That'’s me... miles.

So, let me get this straight.

The problem is, you
like a guy who likes you

but you Don'’t want to date him

because the
relationship has potential?

Exactly... next thing you know

we'’re boyfriend and girlfriend

and I can kiss dating
other guys good-bye.

Please tell me this is not the
worst problem you'’ve ever had.

So not.

The worst was when
Harvey and Josh

were fighting over me.

You probably Don'’t
want to hear about that.

And yet, it'’s already too late.

Hey, Sabrina.

Hey. Hi.

I'’m Pete from your
English lit class.

I was wondering if you'’d,
uh, you'’d like to, um...

Grade your pickup line? D-minus.

That wasn'’t a pickup line.

Actually, it was.

Do you want to go to a
movie Saturday night?

Oh, well, Pete, you know,
I... i'’d love to go out with you

but... i'’ve got plans.

What plans?

You told me you
weren'’t doing anything.

Well, I said that because I
didn'’t want you to feel bad

because my plans
didn'’t include you.

Oh, really? When were
you going to tell me?

Hello. Hi.

I'’m the one being
rejected here.

Sorry.

But thanks for asking.

So what are you
doing Saturday night?

Nothing. Want to come along?

Hold on a second.

Although i'’m flattered

didn'’t you say you
wanted to date new people?

What'’s wrong with Pete?

Did you see what he was wearing?

Two dimples and perfect teeth.

A white shirt.

Who wears white after labor day?

You know, for a girl who
wants to date different people

you sure are picky.

The guy at the pizza
place was too tall

the guy at the student
union was too tan...

I just Don'’t like that whole
tall, dark, handsome thing.

Besides, I Don'’t see you
going out with a whole lot of guys.

I Don'’t see a whole
lot of guys asking me.

What'’s your problem, loser?

I can'’t imagine why.

Salem: Hey!

So much for my afternoon nap.

Salem, what are
you doing in my bed?

I told you never
to sleep in my bed.

You say a lot of
things, sweetheart.

What'’s eating you?

I'’m in crisis.

I'’m way too picky about guys.

I want to date

but I just can'’t get
myself to say yes.

And the thought of putting
myself out there again is scary.

Try a dating spell.

It worked for me when I
was a strapping young hunk.

Believe it or not

when it comes to the
fairer sex, i'’m rather shy.

That'’s why you had
four different species

slap you with a
restraining order?

I promised myself I
wouldn'’t use magic

to solve every little problem.

Great!

Saturday night, we
can rent steel magnolias

and you can give me a flea dip.

Later.

I need a dating spell
and I need it fast.

I'’ve been meaning to use
my new magic cd-rom, anyway.

Okay, here we go... d'’s:

"Daiquiris...
dandruff... Dates."

Okay, wrong kind of dates.

Here we go... "dating."

Whoa.

Hey, Sabrina spellman.

I'’m Roger lodge.

Word has it that
you want a date.

Wow, this 8.0 version
works really fast.

Having trouble finding guys
who want to go out with you?

No, I got plenty of guys.

I just can'’t bring
myself to say yes.

Please tell me that'’s
not your biggest problem.

Actually, people saying
that is my biggest problem.

Okay, here'’s your spell...

The guys who ask Sabrina out

are tired of waiting.

From now on, Sabrina

will say yes to dating.

[ Magical ping]

Okay, you'’re good to go.

Roger that, Roger.

"V" is volume, "t" is
Kelvin temperature

and "k" is the constant
dependent on the number

of moles and
pressure of the gas.

My goodness.

I was 406 before I
grasped that concept.

What?

I said, out of 406 students

you'’re the only one
who grasped that concept.

I love this stuff.

I eat, sleep and
breathe thermodynamics.

When the other kids
were playing with legos

I was building
my first cyclotron.

There'’s nothing more exciting

than your first
particle accelerator.

Yes, there is.

Meeting someone whose eyes
Don'’t glaze over when I talk.

Been there.

Miles, i'’m considering having

a private study
group at the house

for my more advanced students.

Would you be interested
in something like that?

Very interested.

I think we should keep it small.

I agree. Intimate is better.

How about you and me...

Perfect.

And Adam and Jenny.

Oh, dear, my only free
night is Saturday night.

Saturday'’s my
only free night, too.

Another thing we have in common.

Guess it was meant to be.

Would you mind
telling Adam and Jenny?

And do you, miles, promise
to love, honor and Cherish

professor spellman, until
alien forces take over the planet

and harvest you for food?

I do.

You do?

I mean...

I will... tell Adam and Jenny.

They'’re in my
next wedding night.

I mean, class.

Hey, Adam. Hey, Jenny.

Hey, miles, what'’s happening?

Absolutely nothing
that concerns you.

Hello, ladies. Gorgeous day.

It'’s raining, you freak.

What'’s with alien boy?

He'’s waytoo happy.

Maybe his Mr. Spock
ears finally came in the mail.

Heads up!

Nice catch.

Yeah, i'’m here on a
football scholarship.

I look forward to
the next huddle.

In the meantime, um...

Would you like to go
out Saturday night?

What do you have, some
sort of a magical spell?

Yeah, right. Good one.

Uh, look, i'’m flattered,
but at this point in my life

I just have to say...

Yes.

Excellent. Um,
do you like Sushi?

I love Sushi.[ Hushed]:
You hate Sushi.

Pick me up at 9:00?

Sure.

Well, you'’ve done a 180.

You actually decided
to say yes to a date.

I realize that I
have nothing to lose

by seeing what'’s out there

and making an informed,
intelligent choice.

Oh, yo, yo, Pete!

Look, i'’m available
for Saturday night

if you still want to go out.

I thought you had big
plans to do nothing.

Aw, that'’s just an expression.

Pick me up at 7:00?

Oh, great. I'’ll
see you Saturday.

You told Joe to
pick you up 9:00.

Oh, good point. Make it 6:00!

That way, I can still fit in...

Hey, you!

Excuse me.

You have been
here for three hours.

You have paid for
one cup of coffee

and had six
glasses of free water.

Which reminds me...
Where is the bathroom?

At your house and
take some of these

other freeloaders with
you, and from now on

water'’s a buck a glass.

You know what, Josh?

I think i'’m getting ripped off.

The old owner said he
had a lot of business.

The old owner did.

At this rate, i'’ll
be chapter 11

by the end of the week.

If you'’re lucky.

Half the customers
have already switched

to the French roast cafe.

I never liked the French.

Look, we'’re not dead yet.

We just have to figure out some
angle to win the customers back.

What was the angle when
the place first opened?

Uh... the owner was nice.

We'’re dead.

There has to be another way.

I know... We'’ll have
a marketing blitz.

We'’ll give away key
chains, coasters, flyswatters...

Not the good ones.

Hilda, why Don'’t you just
dress up some poor schmo

like a giant cappuccino

and parade him up
and down the street?

[ Laughing]

What?

It was your idea.

This was fun, Paul.

Yeah. It'’s Pete.

Are you sure?

Oh. Yeah, 6:00 P.M. Pete.

You'’re right.

Are you dating a Paul, too?

Um, two Pauls and a John Paul

but not the one
you'’re thinking of

but if his eminence does
call, I amfree Thursday night.

Got to go.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Bob.

Right, Bob... the psych major.

Actually, i'’m a
statistics major.

With a minor in boredom.

Okay, well, give
me 60.25 seconds.

I just got to grab a sweater.

No problem. It'’ll give
roxie and me a chance

to finish our discussion of
census-taking procedures

in postwar Denmark.

I'’d love to, but
nobody should have

to pick out a sweater alone.

What do you think you'’re doing?

Combining fashion and function.

This works much
better than the sweater.

Two days ago you didn'’t
want to go near a guy.

Now you'’re going on 12
dates a night and i'’ve become

your social secretary.

Tad called... He'’s
running a "tad" late.

Another winner.

I Don'’t get it.

First you criticize
me for being picky.

Then you criticize
me for going out.

You just like to criticize.

Sabrina, when you
go out with each guy

for only ten minutes

how do you even
know who they are?

Who cares? The
point is, i'’m dating

just like you said I should.

Fine. Do what you want

but i'’m not taking
any more messages.

[ Telephone ringing]

Hello.

No, she'’s not here.

Who was that?

My mother.

Mrs. Spellmanson.

I mean... miss spellman.

Oh. Miles, you scared me.

Sorry. I have that effect

on a lot of people.

You'’re the first one here.

As soon as Adam and Jenny arrive

we can begin.

Jenny and Adam called
and said they'’d be a little late.

I guess not everyone'’s

as dedicated to
science as we are.

Oh, well. I suppose we
could begin without them.

Guess you'’ll have the leg up.

Let'’s discuss the
concept of gravity.

Ah, the irresistible force that
draws two bodies together.

I love gravity.

Is there a Mr. Spellman?

You mean daddy?

Oh, you mean...
Uh... no, there isn'’t

but let'’s just stick to
the subject at hand.

You do have beautiful hands

and look... We both
have slender pinkies.

So we do.

Anyway... May I call you Zelda?

No!

I feel like a complete dork.

Well, of course
you feel like a dork.

You'’re a cappuccino
without any foam.

Now, hit it!

♪ Come to hilda'’s coffee house,
she roasts the finest beans ♪

♪ come to hilda'’s coffee
house, she'’s no longer mean ♪

♪ come to hilda'’s coffee
house, she'’s super-duper nice. ♪

Hilda, this is ridiculous.

Your song is so stupid.

You are one
bitter cup of coffee.

Hey, where you going?

He hasn'’t even done the
thing with the spoon yet.

They'’re all going to
the French roast cafe.

Oh, come on, people,
give me a break.

No one'’s ruder
than the French...

Except, of course, my father.

[ Laughing]

He'’s so rude, he makes
the French look like the Swiss.

Oh, and-and
speaking of the Swiss

what'’s the deal
with the cheese?

If those are air holes,
what'’s living in there?

Am I right?

And what'’s with the Swiss army?

How can they defend
an entire nation

with those teeny
little red knives?

[ All laughing]

I got a million of '’em

but I left them in
there... at hilda'’s

where every latte
comes with a laugh

and free water...
Well, just the first glass.

Join me, won'’t you?

Well, this was fun.

I'’ve never been
to a bowling alley

that served Sushi before.

Automatic scoring, and
the yellowtail'’s always fresh.

This has been one of the
best bowling and fish dates

i'’ve ever been on.

Look, Sabrina,
I really like you.

And I really like
bowling and fish

so this date
worked out perfectly.

I mean, this is like one of the
best first dates i'’ve ever had

and i'’m really looking
forward to a second.

Oh, it'’s going to be a while.

See, i'’m still on my
cycle of first dates.

Well, it'’s only fair that
I date everybody once

before I start on round two.

Everybody? Round two?

What is this, the Sabrina open?

Exactly. I'’m open to
dating anyone who asks.

Oh, by the way,
tell your roommate

racquet ball and Mongolian
barbecue sounds perfect.

Thanks for a great evening, Jim.

It'’s Joe.

I got to get name tags.

Hey, spellman!

Want to watch me
drop in on a half pipe?

No, but I do want to thank you

for introducing me
to that dating spell.

It'’s working out great.

Yeah, well, before you step out

with Manny, moe and Jack

you might want to stop by
pep boys for an alignment.

What are you talking about?

What'’s wrong with me?

Big picture, you'’re
obsessive-compulsive

but the immediate problem

requires a seasoned
chiropractor.

Must be that stupid dating spell

or maybe i'’ve got to start
bowling with a lighter ball.

I got to get this
spell off right away.

Roger, you there?

I'’m on it, Sabrina.

Poor Sabrina'’s not looking well

so quickly remove
this dating spell.

Nothing happened.

What am I going to do?

Do what you always do.

Go crying to your
aunties to bail you out.

"Boohoo-hoo. Help me, aunties."

[ Salem laughing]

[ Shrieks]

I'’m an independent woman.

I Don'’t need my aunts for help.

Yeah, this is easy.

All right.

"Head misalignment...

Go to aunts for help."

Boohoo-hoo.

Miles, you and I
are not involved

nor will we ever be involved.

Capiche?

I love it when
you speak Italian.

Admit it, my Bella Zelda.

You feel an urge
for young Milo, too.

Unless you'’re
talking about the urge

to toss you out on your
cannoli, I feel nothing of the kind.

Aunt hilda! Aunt Zelda!

Look!

Sabrina!

Oops. I'’ll just
be in the kitchen

trying to straighten myself out.

[ Running footsteps]

Did I just see Sabrina'’s
head slidingoff her body?

You poor dear.

Those overzealous hormones

are causing you to hallucinate.

Is that in any way
attractive to you?

No.

Good lord, Sabrina,
what'’s going on?

I have no idea.

Salem convinced me to
put a dating spell on myself

and it was going great

until my neck
turned into a slinky.

I removed the spell, but it
just keeps getting worse.

Here, hold this.

Sabrina, when a
witch is misaligned

it'’s rarely caused by
a problematic spell.

It usually signals
a deeper problem

that was there before
the spell was incanted.

Great. Why couldn'’t I
take after the mortal side?

Their worst ailment
is an occasional hive.

There. That ought to hold you

till we figure out
what'’s wrong.

Nice look for winter,
but not great with a bikini.

Sabrina, why did you
need a dating spell?

You'’ve never had trouble
getting dates before.

The spell wasn'’t
to help me get dates.

It was to make me more
comfortable accepting them.

What do you think
made you uncomfortable

in the first place?

I have no idea.

There'’s only one
way to find out.

We'’ve got to get to
the heart of the matter.

You'’re not going to open me up

like you did last
Valentine'’s day?

No need to. Today'’s
technology is more sophisticated.

Oops, I almost forgot.

Hey, look, there'’s
that nickel I swallowed

when I was six.

Heart, speak.

Sabrina'’s heart: It'’s not that
I Don'’t want to date again...

Why are you taking your time?

You'’ve been moping
around all summer.

Let the heart finish.

Thank you.

I haven'’t been moping;
I'’ve been healing.

Well, the best way to heal
is to get back on the horse.

I'’m not ready to get
back on the horse.

I'’m still recovering
from the last ride.

Sabrina, it'’s obvious
what'’s going on here.

Your head and your
heart are conflicted.

It'’s not my fault!

She did it!

That dating spell
caused your head

to block out what
your heart was feeling

and that'’s why you
became misaligned.

Are you finally ready
to consider my feelings?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You hearts... Always
with the feelings.

Well, I can'’t go out

just for the sake of going out.

I'’ve got to feel something.

Well, how will I
know when you do?

I'’ll give you a little thump.

Well...

Let'’s see if that little talk

did the trick.

I can'’t believe it.

Aunt Zelda, i'’m realigned!

Of course you are.

You'’re no longer blocking
out the feelings in your heart.

I'’m glad, but do
you have anything

to block out the stomach?

I think that yellowtail

is starting to swim upstream.

[ Chuckling]

Oh, hey, Josh.

Man, am I glad to see you.

I'’ve had the craziest day.

Couldn'’t have been
crazier than mine.

Your aunt dressed me
up like a giant cappuccino.

You should see the time

she dressed me up
like a giant pina colada.

It took me a week to get
the coconut out of my hair.

I'’m surprised to find
you home so early.

I thought you'’d be
out "dating around."

Ah, dating around
is highly overrated.

All that "what do
you want to do?"

"I Don'’t know. What do
you want to do?" Stuff.

Yeah, it'’s so great when
you connect with someone

and you Don'’t have to go
on a bunch of pointless dates.

I think i'’m beginning
to agree with you.

[ Heartbeat]Whoa!

What'’s wrong? Nothing.

I'’m ready to go, Josh.

Oh, you and Morgan are...

[ Heartbeat]Oh!

Are you sure you'’re okay?

Maybe I should call a doctor.

But we'’ll be late
for the movie.

Yeah, i'’ll be fine.

I should probably just
cut back on the fries.

You do that.

I, uh, I guess we
should get going.

Yeah? By the way,
you look beautiful.

It'’s a great necklace.

Thank you. It'’s mine.

I-I hope you Don'’t
mind me borrowing.

Looks like I have no choice.

So, I guess we'’ll catch
up some other time?

Right.

Josh/morgan: Bye.

Some other time.

[ Heartbeat]

You know, you have
really stinky timing.

[ Laughter]

Uh, two blondes
walk into a building.

You'’d think one of
them would have seen it.

I'’m killing.

Now, I do want to apologize
for being rude earlier.

I guess I just had a
case of new job jitters.

Have you ever been on a
job interview, and they'’re, like

"what was the reason
for leaving your last job?"

Well, I found that
after I was fired

there was a lot of
tension in the office.

I found it difficult sitting
on the new girl'’s lap.

I once had a job
as a receptionist.

I was so nervous, I
kept answering phone

"hello, can you help me?"

Oh! I like that.

Hey, why Don'’t you come up here

so we can laugh
at you some more.

Now... in fact

why Don'’t we turn this
into an open mic night?

If you'’ve got a
joke or a song...

Anything that'’ll
pack '’em in here

and get me that beemer.