Original subtitles

In a negative way when they discover

that their beloved is a witch.

Uh, Sheila, why Don'’t you share your experience with the group?

Dave was madly in love with me

until he found out I was two-faced.

How about you, Sabrina?

You'’ve spent all summer

trying to get over your breakup with Harvey.

How are you feeling?

I just feel so confused.

It'’s like there'’s a game of emotional ping-pong

going on in my head.

I can'’t believe Harvey dumped me

just because he found out I was a witch.

He was a selfish, manipulative egomaniac.

No, he wasn'’t.

He was a sweet puppy dog

who would have followed you anywhere.

And he didn'’t shed.

You'’re right. Maybe I should call him.

Don'’t bother. It'’s over.

You'’re dead to him.

[ Splat]

Nice shot.

You'’re bound to be conflicted.

Wounds of the heart take time to heal.

[ Crying]

Tell me about it.

Harvey was my best friend... My soul mate.

Yet, to him, you were nothing but a cat.

[ Blows nose]

Dr. Witchfield, how am I supposed to start college

and get on with my life

if I can'’t stop thinking about Harvey?

The truth is, you'’ve made a lot of progress over the summer.

Yeah, I guess I have.

Maybe all I need now is some closure.

Words. Empty words.

All you need now is some shock therapy.

Guh?

If you'’re ready for closure,

all that'’s left for you to do is go through

the final screening.

See if you can watch Harvey

without having your heart ache

for one last chance to be in his arms.

Doing fine.

Nothing'’s aching.

Although suddenly i'’m in the mood for a barn raising.

Oh, i'’m sorry.

That'’s the, that'’s the wrong video.

Uh... here. Try this one.

Oh...

Not as easy.

He was a good kisser.

But you know what?

I'’m okay.

Congratulations, Sabrina.

You'’ve passed the test.

What a relief. I made it.

I'’m finally really ready to let him go.

Don'’t leave me, Harvey!

No!

Don'’t...

Slippery. Someone catch me.

Don'’t go, Harvey!

♪ Life'’s changing around me ♪

♪ and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ reaching out and living by my rules ♪

♪ time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last

♪ '’cause i'’m out on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

8½ feet by...

Zelda. [ Gasps]

What are you doing?

Nothing.

You jumped.

For joy.

When I saw you.

Aha.

You were measuring behind my back.

You were going to redecorate

Sabrina'’s room without me.

I didn'’t think you'’d mind. Why not?

Because you'’re a kind

and giving person.

And you have no taste.

I have impeccable taste.

As witnessed by the way you decorated your bedroom...

Southwestern mixed with faux Chinese.

I call it casa De feng shui.

Hilda, Sabrina'’s going to college now.

She needs a room that'’s conducive

to serious study.

And what, pray tell, did you have in mind?

Oh, I see.

You'’d like Sabrina to spend her college years

living in a mortuary.

I'’m not done yet.

I'’m getting her a beautiful inkwell.

Inkwell? Ooh!

How au courant.

I personally think

Sabrina would be more comfortable

living in a room like the one I had

during my academic years.

You went to clown college.

University!

Graduated magna cum seltzer.

Back in the box, chuckles.

There'’s no use arguing.

It'’s Sabrina'’s room.

We should let her decide how she wants it decorated.

Fine.

I'’m confident that Sabrina'’s mature enough

to make the right choice.[ Magical ping]

I heard that.[ Magical ping]

You'’re all a bunch of whiny whackos!

I couldn'’t take those nut-cases anymore.

They kicked him out?

Yep. They thought his obsession with Harvey

was bordering on psychotic.

And they caught him stealing sweet'’n low.

You'’ll thank me at breakfast.

More importantly,

how are youdoing?

Okay. I think i'’m finally over Harvey.

Really? After all he meant to you?

You two were so close for so many...

Too many years.

I'’m exhausted.

I just want to go lie down

and take a nap in my nice, cozy room.

[ Horn honking]

Okay, here'’s where I could use a plan "b."

We each wanted to redecorate your room,

so just tell us which half you like best.

Dark, dank and dreary

or the greatest room on earth?

Neither.

Oh, honey, I know you loved your old room,

but now that you'’re starting college,

maybe it'’s time for a change.

I agree.

And i'’ve been thinking about it a lot and...

I want to move out.

What? Out where?

I want to live at college

like a normal freshman.

Our own crib on campus?

Keg party!

Sabrina,

this is very sudden.

You never mentioned moving out before.

Well, I didn'’t know how to tell you

and I knew you'’d be upset

and beg me not to go, so go ahead...

Let'’s get it over with.

Sabrina, i'’m only going to say this once...

A young girl needs her freedom

and I need a room for kickboxing.

How soon does school start?

Hilda!

Oh, come on.

You remember when we were Sabrina'’s age.

Yeah. You must have been young once.

Was that before or after they invented fire?

I hope you'’re happy.

Of course i'’m happy.

I'’ve won the last three games.

King me.

I'’m talking about Sabrina living on her own

in the mortal realm.

Don'’t you remember how painful that transition was?

Salem: I'’ll give you painful...

Having to listen to you two yentas bellyache all day.

Do you think this sweater'’s too snug?

It could be a little tighter around your neck.

Look, Sabrina'’s going to college across town.

She can come and visit whenever she wants.

What if she doesn'’t want to?

Well, i'’m sure she'’ll call whenever she has time.

She won'’t have any time

because she'’ll be in college all the way across town.

Zelda, what have you done?

Me?

Oh, hilda,

we just have to hope

that Sabrina will come to her senses

and realize that she'’ll miss us

as much as we'’ll miss her.

Ain'’t gonna happen, sister.

She'’s growin'’ up, movin'’ out,

and i'’m riding shotgun on her coattails.

Yeah, baby!

Oh, I Don'’t know.

Depends how Sabrina'’s feeling.

If she seems receptive,

i'’ll ask her out.

You rock, coffee boy.

Hey, Sabrina.

Hey, Josh.

How you doing?

Oh, never better.

I'’ve decided to make a life change.

I'’m going to make a clean break

and start fresh.

That'’s fantastic.

Exactly what I was hoping for.

So, you got any plans for the weekend?

Yes, I do.

I'’m going to pack up my stuff

and move into my new dorm.

Oh, sweet.

Which one did you get into?

I Don'’t know. I haven'’t signed up yet.

Sabrina, your school starts next Tuesday.

These dorms fill up months in advance.

Really? I wondered what all those packets

from the housing office were about.

You'’ll probably have to get on a waiting list

to get on the waiting list.

Or maybe they'’ll just

let the really coolpeople in.

I guess that doesn'’t help me either.

Well, you never know.

A room could open up.

I mean, some incoming freshman

could be hit by a bus.

He wouldn'’t be dead or anything.

He'’d just start school next year.

Sabrina, I Don'’t mean to sound negative,

but your chances of getting a room

are slim to none.

Less than zero.

No way, nohow.

Thank you very much, Joshua.

You know, I came in here totally jazzed

and now i'’m spiraling into a black hole.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, Don'’t go there.

If you'’re in a black hole,

then you won'’t be in the mood

to go out on a date.

What are you talking about?

I'’m barely over Harvey.

What kind of loser would want

to date a woman on the rebound?

No one I know.

[ Grunting]

Whew!

Where do you think you'’re going with that?

A college guy needs his toast.

And how do you suggest we get our mail from the other realm?

Can you say, "not my problem"?

No, but I can say, "not your toaster."

Guess who'’s been trying

to steal our appliances

and take them off to college.

No doubt the same slug

who packed my hair rollers

in his duffel bag.

I like to bat them around the floor...

For exercise.

That'’s my story, and i'’m sticking to it.

Hi.

Sabrina, what'’s wrong?

There was no room at the dorm,

so all student housing could do

is put my name on the waiting list.

Sabrina, that'’s fan... terrible.

Oh, honey, I know

you must be terribly disappointed.

Salem: Her?!

I got a mover coming tomorrow to pick up the ottoman.

Well, the good news is,

you still have a place to stay.

And, if a room becomes available,

you can move into the dorm nextyear.

Or the year after that. Or the year after that.

Salem: By then

you'’ll be sucked into their tangled web,

your precious freedom a distant dream.

Hilda: I have a dream.

And, in it, you'’re a zip-out lining.

Huh? salem'’s right.

If I want to live on my own,

it'’s up to me to make it happen.

I'’ll just have to go out and find an apartment.

What if the only apartments available

are in dangerous neighborhoods?

The only way to find out is to get out there and look.

Scour every classified, knock on every door.

Well, lucky for you,

you'’re looking at a couple of great knockers.

There'’s a small studio apartment

in that building over there.

Looks like a nice neighborhood.

But there'’s trash all over the street.

There'’s one gum wrapper.

[ Magical ping]

Oh, well, it starts with a gum wrapper,

but look where it ends.

[ Police siren wailing]

Uh...

They say it'’s very bad luck

to take the first place you see.

But I will give you 20 bucks for that...

"Shmolex"?

This is great.

The last place we looked at

wasn'’t exactly in the best location.

It'’s so nice and light in here.

Light doesn'’t really work for me because i'’m nocturnal.

[ Magical ping]

What it doesn'’t have

is a roof around the skylight.

Hey, this is cute.

And look... there'’s a tub in the kitchen.

[ Magical ping]

Ew! And it'’s full of cockroaches!

Wait a minute.

I think the roaches are spelling out the word "hi."

Ugh!

I can'’t believe it'’s this hard to find an apartment.

I mean, each one was worse than the next.

It'’s like someone'’s plotting against me.

Who would do that?

Why would you think that? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Aunt hilda?

It was her idea.

Aunt Zelda!

We have the right to remain silent.

Oh!

[ Slams] Hey!

Trying to order some school supplies here.

I'’ll take a case of number two pencils

and a bottle of peppermint foot cream.

Honey, I know you'’re angry, but we acted out of love.

You were sneaky and dishonest.

In a loving, nurturing way.

Sabrina...

We just hated the thought of you leaving.

Hold on!

Got another call coming in.

Student housing office?

She'’ll have to get back to you.

Give me that!

Hello. This is Sabrina spellman.

Really? Something opened up near campus?

Does it have four walls and a ceiling?

Nobody got hit by a bus, did they?

Great! I'’ll take it.

Look, the house is owned by the school.

It'’s two blocks from campus.

You can'’t possibly object.

You can drop me off and help me with my stuff,

but I Don'’t want a point or a ping out of either of you.

Salem: Face it, aunties.

It'’s time to let us live our own lives.

Salem, along those lines, most people Don'’t go to college

with a talking cat.

Giving you the clear advantage.

I'’m sorry. You can'’t come with me.

Oh, please, please, please!

Don'’t leave me with these wretched...

goddesses.

Okay, well, thanks for all your help.

I'’ll call once I get settled.

You'’re sure you Don'’t want us to come in

and take a look around?

I'’ll take that as a "no."

Hi. You must be the new girl, Sabrina.

And you must be her aunts, hilda and Zelda?

And you must be clairvoyant.

No, i'’m Morgan Cavanaugh, the r.A.

It'’s my job to know the backgrounds

of the students that I look after.

Come on in.

She invited us.

This is so cool!

I live upstairs,

and Sabrina will be sharing a room down here

with a wonderful girl named roxie.

Okay. Sounds great.

Okay, bye, guys.Um...

Morgan... this is our niece'’s first time

living on her own.

You have nothing to worry about.

I put in a full 24 hours.

I look after these students as if they were my own family.

See? No worries.

She'’ll be just as suffocating as you are.

I make sure they get plenty of rest,

they eat right, and study, study, study.

Can I live here?

Can she?

Okay. Bye, aunt Zelda.

Bye, aunt hilda.

Bye. Bye.

Don'’t you worry.

I'’ll take good care of her.

Okay.

Got to roll. Have a date.

But it'’s 10:30 in the morning.

I know. I'’m a half hour late, thanks to your yakety-yak aunts.

Wait. Before you go, I have a quick question.

Ooh, I Don'’t have time for questions.

Wait. But I thought you said you were here for me 24 hours.

Not in the same day.

My place.

My chair.

My... all right, it'’s not my cd player,

but it'’s in my living room.

♪

Stay right there. I'’ll call 911.

Oh, i'’m sorry. This must look really strange.

I was going to go

with "psycho," but it'’s your call.

You must be roxie. I'’m Sabrina, your new roommate.

Oh, i'’m sorry if that was your cd player.

I was just so excited, I couldn'’t stand still.

This place is so cool.

I'’ve never lived on my own before, and I just know

college is going to be the best experience of my life.

Okay, maybe the second best.

Hello.

Was it something I said?

Look, you seem very nice.

Thanks.

I have no room in my life for people like that.

You'’re kidding, right?

I never kid, I never giggle,

and I never dance like a bowlegged chicken.

Come on, you must have giggled once.

Or not.

Oh, I get it.

You'’re one of those deceptively acerbic types.

You talk tough, but deep down, you'’ve got a heart of gold.

I'’m taking the bedroom, you get the couch,

and i'’d appreciate it if you'’d lose that perky thing.

Hey, cool.

We'’re getting cable?

I'’m not the cable guy. I'’m miles.

I live in the bedroom across the hall.

Never go in there.

Okay.

I'’m Sabrina. I just moved in.

So what'’s all the equipment for?

Uh, I work part-time for the electric company.

Doing what?

Uh, electric stuff.

Unhooking things, plugging things in.

Love plugs.

Okay, i'’m monitoring

the Alpha quadrant for signs of intelligent life.

The Alpha quadrant? Those water breathers are light years behind us.

Go ahead, make fun.

I know you'’ll never believe this,

but our universe is inhabited

by other forces and other beings.

Oh, you mean, like witches?

Witches? Come on, they'’re about as real

as the easter bunny and the lone gunman theory.

Wait, wait, wait! Um, Morgan said

I had to share a room with roxie,

but roxie said I have to sleep on the couch.

Isn'’t that ridiculous?

Watch out for the loose spring on the left cushion.

It'’s an eye-opener.

Aha!

I caught you again.

What were you doing this time?

Wallowing in the misery of life without Sabrina.

Wallowing? Without me?

I never fail to be amazed

at the depth of your selfishness.

Well, I apologize.

Huh?

Here.

You fall apart first.

Thank you.

[ Both sobbing]

Wow!

So they did save Hitler'’s brain.

Salem, what are you doing here?

I came to party, but I see no signs

of bubbly, vivacious coeds.

No offense.

You have no clue what college life is like today.

I come to learn.

Teach me the ways of your animal house.

Well, for one thing

they Don'’t let you stay in your own bedroom.

My roommate hates me and expects me

to sleep on the couch.

I tried to talk to her, but she won'’t even open the door.

Hmm, let'’s see. What to do...

If only you were a witch.

Forget it.

If i'’m going to go to school in the mortal realm,

I can'’t use magic to solve every little problem.

Well, no wonder you'’re miserable.

You'’re letting these mortals walk all over you.

Are you saying that because you care

or because you want to party?

Six of one.

The point is, you'’ve got the gift of magic.

Use it or lose it.

Well, I guess if something is really annoying me...

[ Screaming]

Salem...

Ooh! Squab kabobs.

No, I won'’t stoop to Salem'’s level... yet.

Hi. What'’s up?

I have a little problem.

So do i... i'’m on my way to this party

and I can'’t decide which shoes to wear.

I like the red sandals.

Me, too. Thanks a lot.

Now, about me.

Enough about me.

Sabrina'’s first levitation.

Oh, the girl had lift.

What girl?

Just looking at old pictures of Sabrina.

Without me?

Oh, you think you'’re more upset

about her leaving than I am?

Oh, how pathetic. I sound like you.

I just can'’t go to sleep until I know she'’s okay.

I'’m sure she'’s fine.

Well, then why did Salem say she'’s sleeping on the couch?

We should go over there and check on her.

If we barge in on her, she will never forgive us.

You'’re right. Driving over there is not the answer.

We should calm down, make some tea.

Exactly.

And perhaps a waffle.

Salem was right.

She'’s sleeping on the couch.

Not anymore.

It'’s no use.

I need help.

The machine?

Aunt hilda, aunt Zelda, where are you?

Hilda: Right where you need us, honey.

Tea? waffle?

You guys have been spying on me?

Lucky thing. You obviously needed our help.

I needed some advice on a problem,

but how can I take advice from people I can'’t trust?

Oh, you can trust us.

We were just trying to help

in our own appliance- oriented way.

Salem told us what'’s been going on.

He said you'’re letting your roommate take advantage of you.

Not true. I was just about to go in there

and tell her i'’m moving in my stuff.

Go ahead.

I'’m going.

Maybe you just need a little push?

[ Magical ping]

Roxie: Hey, sleeping in here.

Too bad. I'’m coming in.

I thought you were sleeping.

And I thought the door was locked, so we'’re even.

What do you want?

What'’s rightfully mine...

One half of this room.

[ Giggling]

Oh, I thought you didn'’t giggle.

That wasn'’t a giggle.

That was a "ha, Don'’t make me laugh" laugh.

I have no idea why you Don'’t like me.

You Don'’t even know me.

I know you.

You were at the top of your class in high school,

had a cute boyfriend, and actually enjoyed

extracurricular activities.

Maybe.

But I bet you can'’t tell me which ones.

Can. Don'’t want to.

Trust me, I know your type.

My type?

Perfect, well-adjusted...

You probably Don'’t have

a weird bone in your body.

That'’s not true.

I have many weird bones.

I'’ve got this whole double-jointed thing going on.

Wow. You'’re a freak.

You Don'’t know the half of it.

I haven'’t seen my mother in years.

My father lives in this whole other realm

and, as for well-adjusted, well, i'’ve got these two aunts

who are total witches.

I see your aunts, and raise you

my clinically deranged stepmother.

I double down my uncles, who...

Look, I Don'’t have to justify myself to you, okay?

Whether you think i'’m weird or normal doesn'’t matter.

This room is half mine, and i'’m moving in, got it?

Okay. You Don'’t have to get nasty about it.

I thought it'’d be a welcome change from "perky."

It'’s a start.

And I suppose you want me

to help you with your bags?

That'’d be nice.

I'’ll do it anyway.

Yes!

Salem: We'’re in!

You go, girl.

Thanks.

You go, too.

[ Screaming]

We really should get to sleep. If Sabrina calls,

we'’ll hear the phone. She'’s not going to call.

After what we did, she'’ll probably never talk to us again.

I wouldn'’t say that.

Sabrina.

I'’m glad you gave me that little push I needed.

I'’m starting to work things out with roxie.

Oh, that'’s great, honey.

You know, the only reason we drive you crazy

is because we love you.

I know. I love you guys, too.

Got to go.

Well, nice to see she'’s finally blending in.