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1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:03,896
[Gasps] A hot pot! I love it!
2
00:00:03,965 --> 00:00:06,827
I can just see myself
at Adams, boiling water.
3
00:00:06,896 --> 00:00:09,448
You know what would make
a really great graduation gift?
4
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:11,000
A mister microphone.
5
00:00:11,068 --> 00:00:13,551
Yeah, if you'’ve gotten
every other gift in the world.
6
00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:15,034
[Ding]
7
00:00:15,103 --> 00:00:16,310
Hey, the toaster.
8
00:00:16,379 --> 00:00:18,724
I bet it'’s a present
from the other realm.
9
00:00:18,793 --> 00:00:20,551
Hey, it'’s stuck.
10
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,379
Probably snagged
on my cheese toast.
11
00:00:22,448 --> 00:00:24,241
You know, you'’re not
supposed to melt stuff
12
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:26,482
in our delicate other realm
communications system.
13
00:00:26,551 --> 00:00:28,620
It'’s just a bagel
and a little cheese.
14
00:00:32,172 --> 00:00:35,068
Okay, a bagel and
a wheelof cheese!
15
00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:36,379
Same difference.
16
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,344
♪
17
00:00:50,206 --> 00:00:52,275
♪ Secrets
18
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,068
♪ you'’re never gonna know ♪
19
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,689
♪ you'’re never gonna get it ♪
20
00:00:55,758 --> 00:00:58,068
♪ nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
21
00:00:58,137 --> 00:01:01,862
♪ secrets, secrets
22
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,551
♪ secrets.
23
00:01:04,620 --> 00:01:07,000
♪
24
00:01:09,482 --> 00:01:11,172
Okay, the towels are changed,
25
00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:13,000
the soap dispensers are filled,
26
00:01:13,068 --> 00:01:14,793
and the urinal
cakes are replaced.
27
00:01:14,862 --> 00:01:18,034
This is how I keep people
from knowing I like you best.
28
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:19,103
Including me.
29
00:01:21,103 --> 00:01:23,241
Well, skippy.
30
00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:25,758
Come to spend some of that
hard-earned paper route money?
31
00:01:25,827 --> 00:01:27,517
Tough talk for a college junior
32
00:01:27,586 --> 00:01:29,551
who still attends
high school proms.
33
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:30,655
Harvey.
34
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,137
Can'’t you guys be nice?
35
00:01:32,206 --> 00:01:33,275
No.
36
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:34,586
He likes you, Sabrina.
37
00:01:34,655 --> 00:01:36,379
Right, we'’re friends.
38
00:01:36,448 --> 00:01:37,965
But he'’s hoping for girlfriend.
39
00:01:38,034 --> 00:01:40,448
Look, I... I Don'’t like you
spending time with him,
40
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,320
and I bet, if the shoe
were on the other foot...
41
00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:45,551
Hey, I have never once
been jealous of you and Josh.
42
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:46,551
Sabrina, I Don'’t ask
43
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:47,551
for much.
44
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,137
Quit this job, please?
45
00:01:49,206 --> 00:01:50,482
Do it for me.
46
00:01:50,551 --> 00:01:51,862
Harvey, that'’s not fair.
47
00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:53,689
I like Josh... And
nothing is going on...
48
00:01:53,758 --> 00:01:54,896
And I need this job.
49
00:01:54,965 --> 00:01:57,517
That was an awfully long "no."
50
00:01:57,586 --> 00:01:58,620
Harvey...
51
00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:03,206
Great.
52
00:02:03,275 --> 00:02:05,206
Fight with my boyfriend and...
53
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,137
I smell like comet.
54
00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:09,310
You know, you'’re
like the evil version
55
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,655
of the maytag repairman.
56
00:02:10,724 --> 00:02:11,724
What?
57
00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:14,793
I needed the calcium.
58
00:02:14,862 --> 00:02:16,689
Zellie, have you decided
what you'’re going
59
00:02:16,758 --> 00:02:18,103
to get Sabrina for graduation?
60
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,241
Oh, I haven'’t had
time to think about it.
61
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:22,103
I'’ve been too busy
handling this lawsuit
62
00:02:22,172 --> 00:02:24,448
Willard has filed against
you for hitting his car.
63
00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:25,931
Oh, yeah. That.
64
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,793
Yeah, that. Speaking of that,
65
00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:29,620
have you seen a notarized
witness statement?
66
00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:30,689
It'’s pink.
67
00:02:33,827 --> 00:02:36,034
Found it.
68
00:02:36,103 --> 00:02:37,413
[Chuckling]
69
00:02:37,482 --> 00:02:39,448
Who'’s in trouble now?
70
00:02:39,517 --> 00:02:41,275
You know, Harvey'’s
being so unreasonable.
71
00:02:41,344 --> 00:02:43,689
I Don'’t know why he doesn'’t
want me hanging out with Josh.
72
00:02:43,758 --> 00:02:46,482
He must not trust
me. That is so sad.
73
00:02:46,551 --> 00:02:48,689
I think there'’s only
one thing you can do...
74
00:02:48,758 --> 00:02:50,482
Open another present.
75
00:02:50,551 --> 00:02:53,931
Is it a mister microphone?
76
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,034
No, it'’s luggage.
77
00:02:57,793 --> 00:02:59,551
Oh, come right in.
78
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:02,103
Is, uh... Zelda here?
79
00:03:02,172 --> 00:03:03,620
No, she'’s out at a meeting
80
00:03:03,689 --> 00:03:06,310
getting her "seven
day free of Willard" chip.
81
00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:10,103
Well, my car'’s fixed.
82
00:03:10,172 --> 00:03:12,344
It actually goes in reverse now.
83
00:03:12,413 --> 00:03:14,034
So I want to inform you
84
00:03:14,103 --> 00:03:16,310
that I am dropping the lawsuit.
85
00:03:16,379 --> 00:03:19,068
Isn'’t it too bad they haven'’t
invented the telephone yet?
86
00:03:19,137 --> 00:03:22,172
Will you please
give these to Zelda?
87
00:03:22,241 --> 00:03:23,586
Will do.
88
00:03:23,655 --> 00:03:24,862
[Sniffs]
89
00:03:28,482 --> 00:03:29,793
[Tires screeching]
90
00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:31,172
[Loud crash]
91
00:03:34,551 --> 00:03:36,482
I'’ve just hit Willard.
92
00:03:38,172 --> 00:03:40,344
I am sosuing.
93
00:03:40,413 --> 00:03:41,413
You know,
94
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:42,793
i'’ve always liked this place.
95
00:03:42,862 --> 00:03:44,000
It'’ll be fun owning it.
96
00:03:44,068 --> 00:03:46,931
I didn'’t hit you hard.
97
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,689
What was he doing here?
98
00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:51,586
Oh, he came by to
drop some lawsuit.
99
00:03:51,655 --> 00:03:53,103
You know, I have
no problem at all
100
00:03:53,172 --> 00:03:54,758
with Harvey and
Josh being friends.
101
00:03:54,827 --> 00:03:56,862
Were your friends
operating under a price limit
102
00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:58,551
when they got you
all these things?
103
00:03:58,620 --> 00:03:59,620
Hey, I found something.
104
00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:01,413
"If two enemies
break bread together,
105
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,068
they will no longer be enemies."
106
00:04:03,137 --> 00:04:05,310
I'’m going to bake
some "friendship bread."
107
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,310
Here'’s my gift...
108
00:04:07,379 --> 00:04:08,482
A magic mirror.
109
00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:10,448
Oh, yeah.
110
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:13,689
You can'’t get this kind
of plastic just anywhere.
111
00:04:13,758 --> 00:04:17,206
It'’s not what it looks
like; It'’s what it does.
112
00:04:17,275 --> 00:04:19,275
Mirror, mirror, near the wall,
113
00:04:19,344 --> 00:04:21,344
who'’s the best
gift-giver of them all?
114
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:26,137
You wrote the check, so
I guess it'’s you, chickie b.
115
00:04:26,206 --> 00:04:28,172
Case closed.
116
00:04:28,241 --> 00:04:29,241
Chickie b?
117
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,482
Mm-hmm.
118
00:04:30,551 --> 00:04:31,551
I Don'’t get it, kinkle.
119
00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:32,965
If you can'’t stand
this guy Josh,
120
00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:34,314
why do you keep
coming back here?
121
00:04:34,344 --> 00:04:35,620
I got to keep my eye
122
00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:37,931
on Mr. I-can'’t-find-
a-girl-my-own-age.
123
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,103
Don'’t worry.
124
00:04:39,172 --> 00:04:40,931
I plan to keep a
really low profile.
125
00:04:44,172 --> 00:04:45,724
Oh, hey, have you seen Sabrina?
126
00:04:45,793 --> 00:04:47,310
Keep away from my girlfriend.
127
00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:49,655
I'’ll stay away from Sabrina
when she tells me to.
128
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,000
Maybe she did tell you to,
129
00:04:51,068 --> 00:04:52,907
but you'’re starting to
forget things, grandpa.
130
00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:54,482
Hey, look. Fresh-baked bread
131
00:04:54,551 --> 00:04:55,931
from my ever-lovin'’ oven.
132
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:56,931
I'’m game.
133
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:57,931
Maybe you should leave.
134
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000
Maybe you should make me.
135
00:04:59,068 --> 00:05:00,344
It'’s got raisins.
136
00:05:00,413 --> 00:05:01,724
Oh, raisins. Yum!
137
00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:02,793
Really?
138
00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:06,793
[Tinkling]
139
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,517
Hey, i'’m on break now.
140
00:05:09,586 --> 00:05:11,206
Let'’s have a cup
of coffee together.
141
00:05:11,275 --> 00:05:12,758
Only if i'’m buying.
142
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,275
Look at them.
143
00:05:16,344 --> 00:05:18,172
This bread could have kept
144
00:05:18,241 --> 00:05:19,965
the Beatles together.
145
00:05:20,034 --> 00:05:20,965
Admit it.
146
00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:23,206
I got Sabrina the best gift.
147
00:05:23,275 --> 00:05:25,034
I Don'’t know how
you can compare
148
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:26,965
a specially-brewed
homemade scent
149
00:05:27,034 --> 00:05:29,103
with a snotty-talking
looking glass.
150
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:30,482
I know. You can'’t.
151
00:05:30,551 --> 00:05:31,689
Mine'’s clearly better.
152
00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:33,000
[Clearing throat]
153
00:05:33,068 --> 00:05:35,034
[Glass breaking]
154
00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:36,482
Salem...
155
00:05:36,551 --> 00:05:38,000
Oopsy.
156
00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:39,482
You did that on purpose.
157
00:05:39,551 --> 00:05:42,206
I think the "oopsy"
implies that I didn'’t.
158
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:43,896
Oh, I see your vile little plan.
159
00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:45,689
You break ourgifts
with the childish hope
160
00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:48,413
that we will then buy
Sabrina a mister microphone.
161
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,724
Yeah. It'’s so obvious.
162
00:05:49,793 --> 00:05:52,448
A Mr. What?
163
00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:53,896
I have no such plan.
164
00:05:53,965 --> 00:05:55,241
Did it work?
165
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:56,896
Oh, you are in for it, buster.
166
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:59,172
Not only did you break
irreplaceable items,
167
00:05:59,241 --> 00:06:01,655
but you'’ve now freed
the man in the mirror.
168
00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:06,379
This decor is really
the fairest of them all...
169
00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:08,586
If you'’re talking countyfairs.
170
00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:09,965
[Gagging]
171
00:06:10,034 --> 00:06:12,000
First the toaster,
and now this mess?
172
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:14,000
I Don'’t know when i'’ve
been so angry with you.
173
00:06:14,068 --> 00:06:15,896
You are in a peck of trouble.
174
00:06:15,965 --> 00:06:19,103
Define "peck."
175
00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:20,103
Allow me.
176
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,551
No, please, allow me.
177
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:22,689
Oh, I insist.
178
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,793
No, iinsist.
179
00:06:23,862 --> 00:06:25,344
You first. No, no. Youfirst.
180
00:06:25,413 --> 00:06:26,413
Oh, just sit down!
181
00:06:28,103 --> 00:06:29,310
Well, it'’s nice to see them
182
00:06:29,379 --> 00:06:30,862
getting along for a change.
183
00:06:30,931 --> 00:06:33,827
It'’s like chip '’n'’ Dale,
only i'’m not enjoying it.
184
00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,275
So...
185
00:06:36,344 --> 00:06:37,758
How you guys doing?
186
00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:39,137
Great. We just found out
187
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:41,344
we both share a
love of Turkey jerky.
188
00:06:41,413 --> 00:06:43,448
I'’m sorry. Did you
want to answer that?
189
00:06:43,517 --> 00:06:45,758
No, no. Your answer
was just perfect.
190
00:06:46,862 --> 00:06:50,241
This is going great.
191
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,793
Zelda: Have you thought of
anything else to get Sabrina?
192
00:06:52,862 --> 00:06:55,103
Maybe I have and
maybe I haven'’t.
193
00:06:55,172 --> 00:06:56,551
You know, hilda,
194
00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:58,793
I think we'’re getting
into a bad area here...
195
00:06:58,862 --> 00:07:00,344
Competing through presents.
196
00:07:00,413 --> 00:07:02,310
I had that thought first.
197
00:07:02,379 --> 00:07:04,275
You know, maybe we'’re
focused on the presents
198
00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:06,551
because we Don'’t want
to focus on the reality...
199
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,103
Sabrina'’s leaving for college.
200
00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:11,344
Yeah. Next year it'’ll
just be the two of us.
201
00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:14,379
Ah! Did she say,
"just the two of us"?
202
00:07:14,448 --> 00:07:15,724
Zelda: Yeah.
203
00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:18,034
It'’ll be strange
to have just two.
204
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:21,000
Well, on the plus side,
fewer groceries to buy.
205
00:07:21,068 --> 00:07:22,758
Fewer groceries?
206
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:24,103
Only the two?
207
00:07:24,172 --> 00:07:25,931
Ah! Dear lord!
208
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,793
They'’re getting rid of the cat!
209
00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:29,896
[Sobbing]
210
00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:32,862
Oh, well, right now,
we have other things
211
00:07:32,931 --> 00:07:34,413
to deal with.
212
00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:36,689
Are you painting your head?
213
00:07:36,758 --> 00:07:40,275
Oh, it'’s murder on my pillow,
but the ladies, mm, love it.
214
00:07:40,344 --> 00:07:41,413
Hey, hey, Harvey, look.
215
00:07:41,482 --> 00:07:42,586
There'’s a die hardmarathon
216
00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:43,862
playing at the student union.
217
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,275
I like die hard. Excellent.
218
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,182
We'’ll stock up on jerky
and sit in the front row.
219
00:07:47,206 --> 00:07:48,448
I prefer skittles, but okay.
220
00:07:48,517 --> 00:07:49,448
You'’re on.
221
00:07:49,517 --> 00:07:50,517
Hey, remember me?
222
00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:51,896
Oh, yeah. Sabrina.
223
00:07:51,965 --> 00:07:53,586
She can cover for you.
224
00:07:53,655 --> 00:07:55,137
Let'’s go.
225
00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:56,413
That does it.
226
00:07:56,482 --> 00:07:58,113
This friendship is
cloying... That'’s a fact.
227
00:07:58,137 --> 00:07:59,737
Bring up the bread
with the magic ipecac.
228
00:08:04,344 --> 00:08:05,793
See, I told you
229
00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:08,068
that raw chicken
is not a delicacy.
230
00:08:09,965 --> 00:08:11,275
[Sobbing]
231
00:08:11,344 --> 00:08:13,931
Get a hold of
yourself, saberhagen.
232
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,448
Think!
233
00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:17,103
There must be some mistake.
234
00:08:17,172 --> 00:08:18,620
They love you.
235
00:08:18,689 --> 00:08:21,103
Okay, they can standyou.
236
00:08:21,172 --> 00:08:22,344
Wait a minute.
237
00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:23,793
They haveto keep me.
238
00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:26,000
The witches'’ council
won'’t let them get rid of me.
239
00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:29,103
Oh, thank heavens
for bureaucracy!
240
00:08:29,172 --> 00:08:30,448
Well, we have to find him
241
00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:32,034
someplaceto stay. Don'’t we?
242
00:08:32,103 --> 00:08:34,000
No. I talked to the
witches'’ council,
243
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:36,931
and according to them,
technically he'’s a freeloader,
244
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,000
so we can throw him out in
the streets for all they care.
245
00:08:40,068 --> 00:08:41,344
Not the streets.
246
00:08:41,413 --> 00:08:43,344
There'’s scary
stuff on the streets.
247
00:08:43,413 --> 00:08:44,724
I say we toss him out
248
00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:46,310
and let him fend for himself.
249
00:08:46,379 --> 00:08:49,379
Oh, i'’m a dead man!
250
00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:52,689
Well, let'’s at least get
him a room at the "y."
251
00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:55,896
Is there anything in
this house to drink?
252
00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:58,103
A smallroom.
253
00:08:58,172 --> 00:09:00,586
Hey... so you two
threw up together.
254
00:09:00,655 --> 00:09:03,655
Isn'’t that some sort
of male bonding thing?
255
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,827
Only in a prison movie.
256
00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:07,416
Well, you guys
still feel close, right?
257
00:09:07,482 --> 00:09:08,620
I never would have been sick
258
00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:10,655
if I hadn'’t eaten food
from this e. Coli farm.
259
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:11,655
What?
260
00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:12,862
Oh, ignore him.
261
00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:14,689
He'’s just a little
testy, you know?
262
00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:16,275
He'’s at his worst post-vomit.
263
00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:18,389
That'’s it. I'’m not putting
up with your insults anymore.
264
00:09:18,413 --> 00:09:19,838
Looks like someone
else is a little testy.
265
00:09:19,862 --> 00:09:21,182
That'’s something you
two have in common.
266
00:09:21,206 --> 00:09:22,586
You are hereby banned
267
00:09:22,655 --> 00:09:23,655
from this place.
268
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:24,827
Sabrina, if you keep working
269
00:09:24,896 --> 00:09:26,103
for this guy, we'’re through.
270
00:09:26,172 --> 00:09:27,827
Harvey...
271
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:29,206
Good riddance.
272
00:09:29,275 --> 00:09:30,551
Josh...
273
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:34,379
Okay, as usual, my
plan is going perfectly.
274
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:39,620
Why am I so reluctant
to quit the coffeehouse?
275
00:09:39,689 --> 00:09:41,344
It'’s not the free
day-old muffins.
276
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:43,241
What is the true
meaning behind this?
277
00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,482
You still like Josh,
you bonehead!
278
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,655
Now help me!
279
00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:48,379
I'’m being evicted!
280
00:09:48,448 --> 00:09:49,827
I dolike Josh.
281
00:09:49,896 --> 00:09:51,769
I mean, I couldn'’t imagine
not seeing him every day,
282
00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:54,000
but... I can'’t imagine
life without Harvey either.
283
00:09:54,068 --> 00:09:56,931
And I can'’t imagine
life without fluffy pillows
284
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,344
and a shower massage.
285
00:09:58,413 --> 00:09:59,965
Get out, you little narcissist.
286
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:03,275
You just mean out of your
room, not the house, right?
287
00:10:03,344 --> 00:10:05,551
[Salem sobbing]
288
00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:08,379
Maybe Sabrina'’s right.
289
00:10:08,448 --> 00:10:10,931
There is a chance...
However slim...
290
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,034
That my ironic and
detached nature
291
00:10:13,103 --> 00:10:15,275
could be misconstrued
as jerkiness.
292
00:10:15,344 --> 00:10:16,827
Well, i'’ll just act nice,
293
00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,724
and then the aunts won'’t
give me the heave-ho.
294
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,137
How hard could it be?
295
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:23,965
Say, have you
been getting sleep?
296
00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:27,206
You look a lot less...
Yellow than usual.
297
00:10:27,275 --> 00:10:28,379
[Chuckles]
298
00:10:28,448 --> 00:10:29,517
[Yells]
299
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,793
[Grunting]
300
00:10:36,862 --> 00:10:40,551
No one'’s good at
anything the first time.
301
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:44,517
[Yelling]
302
00:10:44,586 --> 00:10:45,724
I need help.
303
00:10:45,793 --> 00:10:47,586
Oh, a boyfriend course.
304
00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:50,310
Sounds promising, and
besides, i'’m desperate.
305
00:10:52,413 --> 00:10:54,344
Having trouble
picking a boyfriend?
306
00:10:54,413 --> 00:10:57,034
Exactly. then you need
the boyfriend course.
307
00:10:57,103 --> 00:10:58,517
Sign up here.
308
00:11:00,551 --> 00:11:02,517
[Victorious melody plays]
309
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:03,517
Thisis
310
00:11:03,586 --> 00:11:05,379
the boyfriend course.
311
00:11:05,448 --> 00:11:07,620
Oh, I get it... an
obstacle course.
312
00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:08,896
Clever.
313
00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:11,379
I never get enough of
those other realm puns.
314
00:11:11,448 --> 00:11:13,000
And here are the boyfriends.
315
00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:15,068
Where are we?
316
00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:17,965
Uh, th-this is just
some weird dream.
317
00:11:18,034 --> 00:11:20,034
Eleanor Roosevelt'’s
not going to appear
318
00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:22,586
and start hitting me
with a leg of lamb, is she?
319
00:11:22,655 --> 00:11:24,896
No, it'’s a different
weird dream.
320
00:11:24,965 --> 00:11:26,286
Don'’t worry.
They'’re under a spell.
321
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,527
They'’ll never remember a thing.
322
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:28,965
Go!
323
00:11:29,034 --> 00:11:31,137
[Blowing whistle]
324
00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:32,413
Okay, um...
325
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:34,034
Just one question,
Mr. Chips.Yeah.
326
00:11:34,103 --> 00:11:36,320
How is this going to help me
decide on the right boyfriend?
327
00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:37,275
Oh, that'’s easy.
328
00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:39,000
You choose the
one that isn'’t dead.
329
00:11:39,068 --> 00:11:40,000
Oh, right.
330
00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:41,000
Yeah.
331
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,586
What?!
332
00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:43,931
So we'’re agreed.
333
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,551
Instead of competing,
334
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:48,241
we'’ll come up with a present
for Sabrina that we both like
335
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:49,689
and go in on it together.
336
00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:54,551
Perfect. I bet my gift ideas
are better than yours. Sorry.
337
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:57,103
I hate to interrupt
conversations of genius...
338
00:11:57,172 --> 00:11:58,241
[Giggles]
339
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:01,379
but may I say you
two vexing beauties
340
00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:04,137
are radiating brilliance?
341
00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,068
Salem, you'’re still
going to be punished.
342
00:12:06,137 --> 00:12:07,344
Don'’t try buttering us up.
343
00:12:07,413 --> 00:12:08,689
Don'’t be ridiculous.
344
00:12:08,758 --> 00:12:10,862
Everyone knows
butter only belongs
345
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,965
on lovely finger sandwiches.
346
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,310
Follow me.
347
00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:20,448
High tea, from me to thee.
348
00:12:20,517 --> 00:12:22,310
Oh, my!
349
00:12:22,379 --> 00:12:25,310
Oh, Don'’t we
have a fine time...
350
00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:26,827
The threeof us?
351
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:29,689
Sabrina: Go, Harvey!
352
00:12:29,758 --> 00:12:30,862
Go, Josh!
353
00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:32,068
Go, team!
354
00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:34,103
That'’s sweet of you
to root for both of them.
355
00:12:34,172 --> 00:12:35,562
That way you Don'’t
have to feel guilty
356
00:12:35,586 --> 00:12:37,206
at the loser'’s funeral.
357
00:12:37,275 --> 00:12:39,689
No offense, zebra boy,
but these are young guys.
358
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:41,068
Unless one of your obstacles
359
00:12:41,137 --> 00:12:42,931
is a piece of
delectable-looking cake
360
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,793
laced with Anthrax, this
course is not going to kill them.
361
00:12:45,862 --> 00:12:46,862
Don'’t worry.
362
00:12:46,931 --> 00:12:48,241
Sudden death will.
363
00:12:50,517 --> 00:12:52,379
Okay, I appear to be standing
364
00:12:52,448 --> 00:12:54,620
in some sort of primordial ooze.
365
00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:55,620
In my good shoes.
366
00:12:55,689 --> 00:12:56,724
What is this stuff?
367
00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:57,724
Quicksand.
368
00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:59,689
[Shrieks]
369
00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:02,241
It wouldn'’t be sporting
if you had magic.
370
00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,793
Um, you know what?
I changed my mind.
371
00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:05,241
I'’d like to drop this course.
372
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:06,931
Whoever saves you gets you.
373
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000
I know that sounds
374
00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:09,310
a little bit sexist,
375
00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:12,517
but this hasn'’t been
updated since 1672. Just relax.
376
00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:13,896
You relax!
377
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,700
One sudden move, and i'’m
chugging a sand smoothie!
378
00:13:15,724 --> 00:13:17,689
Help, Harvey! Josh!
379
00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,448
Have no fear,
Sabrina, i'’m on my way.
380
00:13:19,517 --> 00:13:21,344
Hey, Dudley do-right called.
381
00:13:21,413 --> 00:13:23,137
He wants his dialogue back.
382
00:13:23,206 --> 00:13:25,103
Sabrina, i'’ll be right there!
383
00:13:26,275 --> 00:13:28,448
Okay, that might hold them up.
384
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,068
Is there anything
more delightful
385
00:13:30,137 --> 00:13:31,689
than a perfect cup of darjeeling
386
00:13:31,758 --> 00:13:32,793
served in bone China?
387
00:13:32,862 --> 00:13:34,620
Not to mention the civility
388
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,758
of corn relish on toast points.
389
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:40,689
Oh, marvelous,
and I did it all myself.
390
00:13:40,758 --> 00:13:41,862
[Loud crash]
391
00:13:41,931 --> 00:13:43,000
What the...?
392
00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:47,551
Salem!
393
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,517
Well-dressed robbers!
394
00:13:49,586 --> 00:13:51,137
Call the police!
395
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:54,172
Okay, which one of you
two left the back door open?
396
00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:56,068
I hope everything
was to your liking,
397
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:59,000
and yes, we accept
all major credit cards.
398
00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:01,275
[Gasps]
399
00:14:01,344 --> 00:14:02,413
My heavens!
400
00:14:02,482 --> 00:14:05,172
Were those pastries
spun from gold?
401
00:14:05,241 --> 00:14:07,586
I just wanted you
to have the best.
402
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:08,586
Maybe I didn'’t
403
00:14:08,655 --> 00:14:10,172
think this through.
404
00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:11,310
You'’re pretty.
405
00:14:12,655 --> 00:14:14,517
Hang on, Sabrina.
I'’ll save you.
406
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:15,689
Stay calm, Sabrina.
407
00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:16,758
I'’ll save you.
408
00:14:16,793 --> 00:14:17,896
Why shouldn'’t I be calm?
409
00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:19,551
Some people pay
thousands of dollars
410
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,137
for this kind of
beauty treatment.
411
00:14:21,206 --> 00:14:23,206
Help!
412
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:28,689
Hey, maybe I can stop
the blades with this.
413
00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:30,000
Give me that.
414
00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:31,896
Okay.
415
00:14:36,758 --> 00:14:39,551
Okay, all extremities intact.
416
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,931
Run, Harvey kinkle! Run!
417
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,275
Well, I think we
have truly found
418
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:48,517
the perfect
graduation present...
419
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:50,034
A car.
420
00:14:50,103 --> 00:14:52,827
I know in our hearts that
Sabrina loves us for who we are,
421
00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:54,689
but this is really
going to cinch it.
422
00:14:54,758 --> 00:14:57,068
Let'’s put the
keys in a little box
423
00:14:57,137 --> 00:14:59,000
and then put that
box in a bigger box
424
00:14:59,068 --> 00:15:00,827
and then put
thatbox...[Knock at door]
425
00:15:00,896 --> 00:15:03,068
Oh, now i'’ve lost
my train of thought.
426
00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:06,413
Oh. Willard.
427
00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:09,034
Glad to see you up and about.
428
00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:11,068
I assume you'’re
here to serve papers.
429
00:15:11,137 --> 00:15:13,517
No. I'’m... I'’m
dropping the lawsuit.
430
00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:14,862
I, uh...
431
00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:19,551
Zelda, we'’ve been
through too much together
432
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:21,448
to have it end this way.
433
00:15:21,517 --> 00:15:25,344
And my lawyer took my
retainer and went to Tonga.
434
00:15:25,413 --> 00:15:26,862
Oh, thank you, Willard.
435
00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:29,034
No. No, no! My
emotions and my spine
436
00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:31,482
are both a little raw.
437
00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:32,655
So...
438
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:33,827
So.
439
00:15:40,379 --> 00:15:41,862
Oh, now I remember.
440
00:15:41,931 --> 00:15:42,862
In a bigger box
441
00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:43,965
and then thatbox...
442
00:15:44,034 --> 00:15:44,965
[Crash]
443
00:15:45,034 --> 00:15:46,275
Not again.
444
00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:53,655
How did he manage to
walk into all those trash cans?
445
00:15:53,724 --> 00:15:55,724
Uh, apparently, there
doesn'’t seem to be
446
00:15:55,793 --> 00:15:57,379
a bottom to this bottomless pit.
447
00:15:57,448 --> 00:15:58,241
Hurry!
448
00:15:58,310 --> 00:15:59,413
Hang on, Sabrina!
449
00:15:59,482 --> 00:16:00,793
I'’m almost...
450
00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:02,379
About to face
451
00:16:02,448 --> 00:16:05,275
my not-so-irrational
childhood fear of snakes.
452
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:07,344
Out of my... snakes!
453
00:16:07,413 --> 00:16:09,413
Oh, i'’m sure they'’re
a lot more afraid of you
454
00:16:09,482 --> 00:16:10,482
than you are of them.
455
00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:11,596
Hey, look, there'’s a plank
456
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:12,620
we could use as a bridge.
457
00:16:12,689 --> 00:16:14,172
Sucker!
458
00:16:21,137 --> 00:16:23,517
[Groaning]
459
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,241
What we do for love.
460
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,344
Figures.
461
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,034
Four years warming
the bench in football,
462
00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:41,586
nowi find out I should
have gone out for track.
463
00:16:41,655 --> 00:16:43,724
If I Don'’t convince
the aunties soon
464
00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,413
that i'’ve really
turned over a new leaf,
465
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,379
i'’m going to be
tossed out into the cold
466
00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:50,344
on my nicely rounded buttocks.
467
00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:52,551
Maybe i'’ve been too subtle.
468
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:57,448
Blessings to all who enter here.
469
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,551
You are still in
deep doody, mister.
470
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,620
After much thought,
471
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:03,206
we'’ve come up
with your punishment.
472
00:17:03,275 --> 00:17:05,482
Now, I want you to
know that its severity
473
00:17:05,551 --> 00:17:07,172
is only to teach you a lesson.
474
00:17:07,241 --> 00:17:09,275
[Whimpering]
475
00:17:09,344 --> 00:17:10,965
You'’re grounded
until further notice.
476
00:17:11,034 --> 00:17:12,206
Grounded?
477
00:17:12,275 --> 00:17:14,620
You mean I can'’t
leave the house?
478
00:17:14,689 --> 00:17:16,000
That'’s right.
479
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:19,172
I realize we'’re punishing
ourselves as well,
480
00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:20,724
but what can we do?
481
00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:23,137
I'’m glad we read the
marilu henner book.
482
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:26,655
Oh, sweet relief!
483
00:17:26,724 --> 00:17:28,517
I'’ve still got a home,
484
00:17:28,586 --> 00:17:31,965
and best of all, I
likebeing a nice guy.
485
00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:36,862
This new leaf is staying turned
because i'’m a changed cat!
486
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,862
Car keys...?
487
00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:41,620
[Tires screeching]
488
00:17:41,689 --> 00:17:45,241
Salem: Hardcastle and
mccormick, eat your heart out!
489
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,689
Somebody save me!
490
00:17:46,758 --> 00:17:49,034
Or at least scratch my nose.
491
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:50,379
Josh: Don'’t worry, Sabrina.
492
00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:53,551
I'’ll have you out of that
quicksand within seconds.
493
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:55,482
But if you have a
crossword puzzle handy,
494
00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:57,034
you might want to break it out.
495
00:17:57,103 --> 00:17:58,724
Hurry! Harvey:
Sabrina, i'’m coming!
496
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:02,793
I'’ll block the
flames with this rock.
497
00:18:02,862 --> 00:18:04,793
Hey, i'’m going to save Sabrina.
498
00:18:04,862 --> 00:18:05,931
Guys?
499
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,280
I Don'’t know if i'’ve mentioned
500
00:18:07,344 --> 00:18:08,793
in casual conversation
in the past,
501
00:18:08,862 --> 00:18:10,655
but... I Don'’t want to die!
502
00:18:10,724 --> 00:18:12,137
I Don'’t care who saves Sabrina,
503
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:13,655
as long as Sabrina gets saved.
504
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:14,862
You'’re right.
505
00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:16,586
All right, help me
push this thing.
506
00:18:16,655 --> 00:18:19,172
Okay, I guess it'’s time to
come up with a few last words.
507
00:18:19,241 --> 00:18:22,379
Let'’s see, uh, uh... Dying
is easy, comedy is hard.
508
00:18:22,448 --> 00:18:24,586
No... rosebud! No.
509
00:18:24,655 --> 00:18:26,586
Uh... '’tis a far
better thing...
510
00:18:26,655 --> 00:18:29,689
Darn, all the good last words
have already been done!
511
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,517
We did it!
512
00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:37,620
All right!
513
00:18:37,689 --> 00:18:38,896
Wow, you must work out.
514
00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:40,458
Aw, you know, i'’ve
been benching a little...
515
00:18:40,482 --> 00:18:41,482
Guys?
516
00:18:41,517 --> 00:18:42,931
This stuff ain'’t slowsand!
517
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,137
Sabrina! Sabrina!
518
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,551
Whee!
519
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:48,310
You know why I do this?
520
00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:50,551
Kicks, man, kicks!
521
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,241
[Diabolical laughter]
522
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:54,655
Get a hungry man dinner...
523
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:58,068
Watch a little of the
antiques roadshow...
524
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,620
Kraft: Holy mother of Pearl!
525
00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:04,103
[Both shouting]
526
00:19:04,172 --> 00:19:06,275
I'’m okay.
527
00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:08,862
I am suing you...
528
00:19:08,931 --> 00:19:10,931
Cat?
529
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:13,344
Just one question.
530
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,103
What was the point of all this?
531
00:19:15,172 --> 00:19:17,172
The point was for
one of them to die.
532
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:20,034
We'’ve never had both
contestants survive before.
533
00:19:20,103 --> 00:19:23,241
Well, good luck picking
one of these brave boys.
534
00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:26,758
And the worst part, other than
535
00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:28,931
the pound of quicksand
in my underwear, is that
536
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,137
I still Don'’t know what to
do about Harvey and Josh.
537
00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:32,806
I'’ll look it up, but
i'’m almost certain
538
00:19:32,862 --> 00:19:34,068
there'’s a tribe in new Guinea
539
00:19:34,137 --> 00:19:35,793
where women can
have multiple husbands.
540
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:38,827
Honey, i'’m sorry you have
such a dilemma to face.
541
00:19:38,896 --> 00:19:42,310
I wish we could comfort you
with your graduation present.
542
00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:44,344
I bet now you'’re
kicking yourself
543
00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:46,793
for not getting her
that mister microphone.
544
00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:47,655
[Bell dings]
545
00:19:47,724 --> 00:19:48,724
The toaster'’s fixed.
546
00:19:48,793 --> 00:19:51,620
Now I can toast my
ooey-gooey sticky bun.
547
00:19:51,689 --> 00:19:53,310
[Salem chuckles]
548
00:19:53,379 --> 00:19:55,310
Me no funny?
549
00:19:57,689 --> 00:19:59,655
It'’s a notice from
the witches'’ council.
550
00:19:59,724 --> 00:20:02,275
"This is to inform you
that the friendship spell
551
00:20:02,344 --> 00:20:04,310
"has caused the
mortal Harvey kinkle
552
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:05,758
to reach his spell quota."
553
00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:09,068
That means, after
the friendship bread,
554
00:20:09,137 --> 00:20:10,793
no more spells would affect him.
555
00:20:10,862 --> 00:20:13,655
But what about the
obstacle course?
556
00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:16,206
That means he dove under blades,
557
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:19,310
jumped over snake pits,
and fought fire on his own?
558
00:20:19,379 --> 00:20:21,482
I'’m beginning to
think he likes me.
559
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:22,586
Yeah, yeah, he'’s brave,
560
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:24,251
but how are you going
to explain this to him?
561
00:20:24,275 --> 00:20:25,655
Oh, you know Harvey.
562
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,965
He bought my "you'’re just
dreaming" explanation per usual.
563
00:20:31,275 --> 00:20:33,413
Sabrina?
564
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:37,172
Could we talk about the
fact that... you'’re a witch?
565
00:20:43,482 --> 00:20:44,724
I know i'’m in the doghouse,
566
00:20:44,793 --> 00:20:46,413
but this is ridiculous.
567
00:20:46,482 --> 00:20:47,724
Hello?
568
00:20:47,793 --> 00:20:50,137
I Don'’t think I deserve
this kind of treatment.
569
00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:51,620
It was just a car.
570
00:20:51,689 --> 00:20:54,517
We really Don'’t like that man.
571
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,000
I said I was sorry.
572
00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:58,379
Well, if I didn'’t, I meant to.
573
00:20:58,448 --> 00:20:59,517
[Distant howling]
574
00:20:59,586 --> 00:21:02,137
Oh, there'’s no
lock on this door.
575
00:21:02,206 --> 00:21:06,310
In fact, there'’s no door,
and i'’m out of pepper spray.
576
00:21:06,379 --> 00:21:07,896
[Whimpering]
577
00:21:07,965 --> 00:21:11,896
You'’ll feel bad when i'’m dead!
578
00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:15,793
Will you keep it down?
39839
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