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1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:03,079
I can'’t figure
out an original gift
2
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,320
to get Harvey for
Valentine'’s day...
3
00:00:04,344 --> 00:00:05,448
Cologne he'’ll never use,
4
00:00:05,517 --> 00:00:07,344
a red sweater he'’ll never wear,
5
00:00:07,413 --> 00:00:10,551
a Teddy bear holding a
sign that says, "I '’heart'’ you."
6
00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:11,655
It'’s not easy coming up
7
00:00:11,724 --> 00:00:13,689
with something masculine,
romantic and red.
8
00:00:13,758 --> 00:00:15,103
Unless it'’s salmon.
9
00:00:15,172 --> 00:00:18,551
Nothing says love like
things that swim upstream.
10
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,068
[Gasps]
11
00:00:20,137 --> 00:00:21,310
Oh!
12
00:00:21,379 --> 00:00:22,379
I can'’t believe
13
00:00:22,448 --> 00:00:23,862
this finally came.
14
00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:26,655
Oh, Sabrina, here is the
perfect gift for Harvey...
15
00:00:26,724 --> 00:00:27,896
A certificate
16
00:00:27,965 --> 00:00:30,586
for a special gondola
ride through the milky way.
17
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:31,976
I wonder which would
be harder to explain...
18
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,976
The flying gondola or
the fact that I actually know
19
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,068
a good burger joint on
that side of the galaxy.
20
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,137
Oh, Don'’t worry, a mortal
won'’t remember the ride
21
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:41,724
but will be filled with a
special feeling of love.
22
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:45,655
Like he'’s just sated himself
on 40 pounds of coho.
23
00:00:45,724 --> 00:00:47,482
I remember when
you sent away for this.
24
00:00:47,551 --> 00:00:49,448
You were completely
gaga over some mortal.
25
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:52,103
Mmm. Ulysses s. Grant.
26
00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:54,068
Oh, that'’s right.
Good ol'’ ulie.
27
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,655
What ever happened to him?
28
00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:57,137
He got old and died.
29
00:00:57,206 --> 00:00:58,758
I can'’t believe you waited
30
00:00:58,827 --> 00:00:59,931
a hundred years for this.
31
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,275
Nothing'’s worth waiting...
32
00:01:01,344 --> 00:01:03,206
Hey! It'’s got a coupon
for free chocolates.
33
00:01:07,896 --> 00:01:09,655
Well, I know what
i'’m having for dinner.
34
00:01:09,724 --> 00:01:13,206
But I Don'’t think i'’ll redeem
that free anvil coupon.
35
00:01:13,275 --> 00:01:16,000
[Gulping]
36
00:01:16,068 --> 00:01:18,000
♪
37
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,896
♪ Secrets
38
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,724
♪ you'’re never gonna know ♪
39
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,310
♪ you'’re never gonna get it ♪
40
00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:36,689
♪ nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
41
00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:40,413
♪ secrets, secrets
42
00:01:40,482 --> 00:01:43,137
♪ secrets.
43
00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:45,448
♪
44
00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:50,965
Harvey is going to love
this magic gondola ride.
45
00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:53,068
I just hope he didn'’t
get me the same thing.
46
00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:54,965
[Bird chirping]
47
00:01:55,034 --> 00:01:58,827
Ah, the first Robin of spring.
48
00:01:58,896 --> 00:01:59,896
That'’s him.
49
00:01:59,931 --> 00:02:01,413
Devil bird.
50
00:02:01,482 --> 00:02:02,965
That miserable little magpie
51
00:02:03,034 --> 00:02:04,068
has been keeping me up
52
00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:06,413
all night with his
incessant chirping.
53
00:02:06,482 --> 00:02:07,655
He must be stopped.
54
00:02:07,724 --> 00:02:08,931
Oh, if only we had a house cat
55
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,482
to rid us of this
terrible blight.
56
00:02:10,551 --> 00:02:11,896
You'’re right.
57
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,689
What kind of feline am I?
58
00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:16,862
[As Schwarzenegger]: Bird,
prepare to be Salem-ated.
59
00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:18,931
Sabrina, what if
he actually catches
60
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,517
that poor, defenseless bird?
61
00:02:20,586 --> 00:02:21,655
Salem: Little help?
62
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:22,758
Oh, boy.
63
00:02:22,827 --> 00:02:23,931
Never mind.
64
00:02:25,448 --> 00:02:27,482
[Groaning]
65
00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:29,068
Whew.
66
00:02:29,137 --> 00:02:31,896
I think we should downplay
Valentine'’s day around hilda.
67
00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,379
I just felt so sorry
68
00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:34,758
for her this morning.
69
00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:37,206
I mean, you have
Harvey, and I have Willard.
70
00:02:37,275 --> 00:02:40,068
Well, if it'’s any consolation, I
think she feels worse for you.
71
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:41,379
She'’s been so depressed
72
00:02:41,448 --> 00:02:43,965
ever since she had to
send Daniel Boone back.
73
00:02:44,034 --> 00:02:47,068
Now she just spends her
days moping around the attic.
74
00:02:47,137 --> 00:02:50,172
So you really never had an
Indian friend named mingo?
75
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:52,355
No, ma'’am, there isn'’t much
companionship in the wild.
76
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:56,172
Believe me, when a tree
falls in the forest, I hear it.
77
00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:58,965
Well, you can stay
here as long as you like...
78
00:02:59,034 --> 00:03:00,862
I mean, until we get
bored of each other
79
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,758
or my sister finds out.
80
00:03:02,827 --> 00:03:04,000
Look at this.
81
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:06,689
It'’s just addressed
"to my Valentine."
82
00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:08,344
And it'’s not signed.
83
00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:10,586
"Dear Valentine, I wish
I could express in words
84
00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:12,551
how truly special
you are to me."
85
00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:14,896
Harvey can be so sweet.
86
00:03:14,965 --> 00:03:16,793
Sabrina, clearly
this was written
87
00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:20,310
by a worldly,
sophisticated, mature man.
88
00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:22,103
My monkey.
89
00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:24,620
Come on, this has lovesick
adolescent written all over it.
90
00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:26,103
[Knocks on door]
91
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,310
Hey, good morning. Thought
I could walk you to work.
92
00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:29,793
Thank you for my Valentine.
93
00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:30,862
Valentine?
94
00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:32,689
I didn'’t send you a Valentine.
95
00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:35,758
But I did get you,
uh... This stick of gum.
96
00:03:35,827 --> 00:03:38,344
It'’s sugarless,
and, uh, this watch.
97
00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:40,517
Okay, before I have to
thank you for your high-tops,
98
00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:42,068
Valentine'’s day
isn'’t until Monday.
99
00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:43,517
I knew that.
100
00:03:43,586 --> 00:03:45,103
Uh, I can'’t walk you to work
101
00:03:45,172 --> 00:03:46,862
'’cause I have to go to the mall
102
00:03:46,931 --> 00:03:50,482
and... get them to gift wrap
the stuff I already got you.
103
00:03:50,551 --> 00:03:52,241
Oh, monkey, i'’m
so sorry you'’re sick.
104
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:54,344
Drink fluids.
105
00:03:54,413 --> 00:03:56,206
I love you.
106
00:03:56,275 --> 00:04:00,241
He'’s got a cold, and he'’s
got no idea it'’s Valentine'’s day.
107
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:01,655
Well, if Harvey didn'’t send it
108
00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,000
and Mr. Kraft didn'’t send it,
109
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,724
then... it must have
been sent for aunt hilda.
110
00:04:05,793 --> 00:04:07,068
Sabrina, you'’re right.
111
00:04:07,137 --> 00:04:09,103
And it couldn'’t have
come at a better time.
112
00:04:09,172 --> 00:04:10,758
[Whistling] Do we still have
113
00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,310
any of that venison left?
114
00:04:12,379 --> 00:04:15,379
It'’s a wonder she can
get up in the morning.
115
00:04:15,448 --> 00:04:17,551
Aunt hilda, look what
came for you in the mail...
116
00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:19,862
An anonymous Valentine
from some secret admirer.
117
00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:21,344
Couldn'’t be for me.
118
00:04:21,413 --> 00:04:23,068
I'’ll be up in the attic
119
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,827
making sure our
wiring is up to code.
120
00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:29,413
She'’s breaking my heart.
121
00:04:29,482 --> 00:04:31,379
Relax, I Don'’t want
your powder pouch
122
00:04:31,448 --> 00:04:32,827
or your "chaw of tobacky."
123
00:04:32,896 --> 00:04:34,689
Valentine'’s day
isn'’t until Monday.
124
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:37,517
Good, '’cause i'’m fixin'’
to make you a nice fur cap.
125
00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:39,724
If I could just trap that
pesky black varmint
126
00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:41,172
I see scurrying around here.
127
00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:42,689
That'’s our family pet.
128
00:04:42,758 --> 00:04:44,620
So if you'’re thinking
of trapping him...
129
00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:47,000
He loves peanut butter.
130
00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:48,137
[Chirping]
131
00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:50,000
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
132
00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:52,379
Why must you keep tormenting me?
133
00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:53,379
I'’ve got bad news.
134
00:04:53,448 --> 00:04:55,068
That insane voice
in your head is you.
135
00:04:55,137 --> 00:04:56,344
No, it'’s that bird.
136
00:04:56,413 --> 00:04:58,034
I know he'’s taunting me.
137
00:04:58,103 --> 00:05:00,862
If I could just understand
what he'’s saying.
138
00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:04,586
Hey, everybody, look
at this pathetic tub-o-fur
139
00:05:04,655 --> 00:05:07,172
who couldn'’t catch a bird
if his life depended on it.
140
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:10,206
Now it'’s personal.
141
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,482
One double vanilla latte
with a dash of cinnamon
142
00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:13,551
to kick it up a notch.
143
00:05:13,586 --> 00:05:14,586
Thanks, but...
144
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:16,862
Who needs cinnamon
when I got your smile?
145
00:05:20,137 --> 00:05:21,931
The number one
perk about this job...
146
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,965
Besides the low
pay and bad hours...
147
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,586
Is getting to flirt with every
cute guy in westbridge.
148
00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:29,275
Hey, an anonymous Valentine
showed up at our house today.
149
00:05:29,344 --> 00:05:30,862
Maybe it'’s from
one of these guys.
150
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,379
You got an anonymous Valentine?
151
00:05:33,448 --> 00:05:34,896
The girl with the
devoted boyfriend
152
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:37,034
also gets the secret admirer?
153
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,517
And they say life isn'’t fair.
154
00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:41,620
We'’re out of fat-free muffins,
155
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:44,413
so push these
calcium-rich cheese Danish.
156
00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:47,000
So, any big plans
for Valentine'’s day?
157
00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:50,137
A gondola-riffic night out
with Harvey... nothing special.
158
00:05:51,172 --> 00:05:52,344
Though it appears
159
00:05:52,413 --> 00:05:55,034
our Sabrina may
have a secret admirer.
160
00:05:55,103 --> 00:05:56,103
Oh, really?
161
00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:57,344
Any ideas?
162
00:05:57,413 --> 00:06:00,275
Like any secret admirer, he
prefers to remain anonymous.
163
00:06:02,689 --> 00:06:03,689
[Hiccups]
164
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,413
Are you okay?
165
00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:10,241
Oh! Got to stop wolfing
down those pickled eggs.
166
00:06:11,965 --> 00:06:15,000
Cute and she
eats like a trucker.
167
00:06:15,068 --> 00:06:17,448
Apparently, if you'’re
in love with someone,
168
00:06:17,517 --> 00:06:20,896
even their involuntary muscle
contractions are endearing.
169
00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:23,241
There are lots of
ways of trapping a bird.
170
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:26,379
The simplest is the box-
and-the-piece-of-string method.
171
00:06:26,448 --> 00:06:27,655
[Chuckling]
172
00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:30,517
What animal would be
slow enough to get caught...
173
00:06:30,586 --> 00:06:33,137
Whoa! What happened?
174
00:06:33,206 --> 00:06:34,758
I Don'’t understand
why you aren'’t
175
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:37,172
more interested in who
sent you this Valentine.
176
00:06:37,241 --> 00:06:38,931
Because for every
handsome, debonair man
177
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,310
that might have sent it,
178
00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:42,424
there'’s a guy named Chester
with a plate in his head.
179
00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:44,482
I just want to see you happy.
180
00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:46,000
I couldn'’t be happier.
181
00:06:46,068 --> 00:06:47,689
Now, if you'’ll excuse me,
182
00:06:47,758 --> 00:06:49,172
i'’ll be up in the attic.
183
00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:50,551
While you'’re up there,
184
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,689
could you grab me some
buckshot, honeybee?
185
00:06:52,758 --> 00:06:54,598
I want to show Salem
here how to load a musket.
186
00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:58,517
I think honeybee'’s got
some '’splaining to do.
187
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,655
What does "stay in
the attic" mean to you?
188
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:01,965
Don'’t worry... your cat said
189
00:07:02,034 --> 00:07:03,862
he'’d warn me at the
first sign of trouble.
190
00:07:03,931 --> 00:07:05,827
Watch out. Here they come.
191
00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:07,620
Hilda, I can'’t believe...
192
00:07:07,689 --> 00:07:09,665
Hold on, you wouldn'’t
want to hurt a person who...
193
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:13,206
Someone apparently
loves very much.
194
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:14,896
Hey.
195
00:07:14,965 --> 00:07:17,172
Hope you'’re not still
mad about Valentine'’s day,
196
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:20,758
but I brought you a
chocolate kiss and a real one.
197
00:07:20,827 --> 00:07:22,448
[Hiccups]
198
00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:25,689
Number one cure for
hiccups... Spoonful of sugar.
199
00:07:25,758 --> 00:07:27,793
Yes, but only the special
sugar we have at home.
200
00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:29,000
See ya.
201
00:07:31,655 --> 00:07:32,965
She'’s still mad.
202
00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:36,620
This weekend i'’m
buying myself a calendar.
203
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:39,000
Even though our paths
only crossed for an instant,
204
00:07:39,068 --> 00:07:41,758
you'’ll always have a
special place in my heart.
205
00:07:41,827 --> 00:07:43,482
Ditto.
206
00:07:47,689 --> 00:07:50,965
Boy, i'’m really
going to miss him.
207
00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:52,310
And now i'’m done.
208
00:07:52,379 --> 00:07:53,931
Do you want to get pedicures?
209
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,689
You know, you should
never have broken
210
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:56,758
the other realm rules
211
00:07:56,827 --> 00:07:58,758
and kept him up in
the attic all that time.
212
00:07:58,827 --> 00:08:00,724
The basement was moldy.
213
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:03,137
And now you'’re all alone.
214
00:08:03,206 --> 00:08:04,931
Oh, you poor dear.
215
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000
Interesting.
216
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:08,482
You were less irritating
when you were angry.
217
00:08:08,551 --> 00:08:10,758
You are so brave.
218
00:08:10,827 --> 00:08:13,310
I am not going to rest
219
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:15,896
until I find out who
sent you this Valentine.
220
00:08:15,965 --> 00:08:17,379
How are you going to do that?
221
00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:19,206
Interview every
guy i'’ve ever dated?
222
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:22,000
Excuse me.
223
00:08:23,931 --> 00:08:25,379
All right, all right.
224
00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:28,620
All the as over by the
cash register, please,
225
00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:30,724
and have your
handwriting samples out
226
00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:32,172
and ready for analysis.
227
00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:34,827
I know this isn'’t the
point of this exercise,
228
00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:37,827
but some of these guys
owe me money, too.
229
00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:38,689
It'’s not fair.
230
00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:40,000
I haven'’t used my magic,
231
00:08:40,068 --> 00:08:41,310
I haven'’t done a spell,
232
00:08:41,379 --> 00:08:42,965
I haven'’t disobeyed my aunts,
233
00:08:43,034 --> 00:08:45,482
and yet i'’m hiccuping
sparkly pink hearts.
234
00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:47,896
Yep, life'’s just
one big adventure.
235
00:08:47,965 --> 00:08:51,862
And speaking of adventure,
come with me deep into the bush
236
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:54,344
as we stalk the
elusive dickey bird.
237
00:08:54,413 --> 00:08:56,586
Sometimes I think you
actually work at being annoying.
238
00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:58,448
No, not really.
239
00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:01,551
So that was a dead end,
240
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:04,068
but I think, if we
systematically retrace your steps
241
00:09:04,137 --> 00:09:05,551
over the last three months...
242
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:08,551
Sometimes I think you
actually work at being annoying.
243
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:10,275
No, not really.
244
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,517
Where have you been?
245
00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:16,034
Sweaty brow,
panicked expression,
246
00:09:16,103 --> 00:09:17,838
frantically looking
through the magic book...
247
00:09:17,862 --> 00:09:19,622
Just what every parent
wants to come home to.
248
00:09:19,655 --> 00:09:20,344
Look.
249
00:09:20,413 --> 00:09:22,620
[Hiccups]
250
00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:24,448
Sabrina, this looks serious.
251
00:09:24,517 --> 00:09:26,137
What'’s the matter with you?
252
00:09:26,206 --> 00:09:27,620
It'’s a very funny story.
253
00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:28,758
I Don'’t know!
254
00:09:28,827 --> 00:09:30,827
You put Sabrina to
bed; I'’ll call cupid.
255
00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:32,344
Cupid? Cupid.
256
00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,872
He handles all
heart-related matters...
257
00:09:33,896 --> 00:09:35,379
Literal or figurative.
258
00:09:35,448 --> 00:09:37,448
And who gives the second
opinion, the easter bunny?
259
00:09:40,137 --> 00:09:41,724
What'’s with the getup, bwana?
260
00:09:41,793 --> 00:09:43,793
I'’m going big-game hunting.
261
00:09:43,862 --> 00:09:46,137
Looks like a big game
doodied on your hat.
262
00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:49,517
Yeah? Well, it happened
to Hemingway all the time.
263
00:09:49,586 --> 00:09:52,448
Wow. Your heart'’s beating
louder[Heart beating loudly]
264
00:09:52,517 --> 00:09:55,413
Than the bass on a
deadhead'’s boom box.
265
00:09:55,482 --> 00:09:56,551
Oh, I can'’t imagine why.
266
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:57,896
My anxiety level is
267
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,734
in "there aren'’t enough
lifeboats" territory.
268
00:09:59,758 --> 00:10:02,344
Finally. Where'’s cupid?
269
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:04,251
Well, cupid'’s a little backed
up with Valentine'’s day,
270
00:10:04,275 --> 00:10:06,172
so he had to send his assistant.
271
00:10:06,241 --> 00:10:07,344
Where'’s the patient?
272
00:10:07,413 --> 00:10:08,689
Roland?
273
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:10,275
Okay, you'’ve scared me,
274
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,000
but i'’ve still got the hiccups.
275
00:10:12,068 --> 00:10:13,458
You know, some
people collect stamps.
276
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,241
Other people
seem to collect jobs.
277
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:18,275
Helping people find
love is my true calling.
278
00:10:18,344 --> 00:10:20,206
Plus, I already had the outfit.
279
00:10:20,275 --> 00:10:22,344
So, what seems
to be the problem?
280
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,827
Well, my heart is racing,
281
00:10:23,896 --> 00:10:26,482
i'’m hiccuping valentines,
and you'’re in my bedroom.
282
00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:28,310
How can you make
all three go away?
283
00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:30,000
Oh, Sabrina, calm down.
284
00:10:30,068 --> 00:10:31,079
I'’m sure Roland can help.
285
00:10:31,103 --> 00:10:32,896
Sorry. I meant that
to sound sincere.
286
00:10:34,206 --> 00:10:35,310
[Chirping]
287
00:10:35,379 --> 00:10:37,827
Now you mock me
in front of my family?
288
00:10:37,896 --> 00:10:39,000
Why, you...
289
00:10:39,827 --> 00:10:41,000
Salem, no!
290
00:10:41,068 --> 00:10:42,379
[Grunting, thud]
291
00:10:42,448 --> 00:10:44,965
My spleen!
292
00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:48,137
Oh. I'’m okay!
293
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:49,700
Uh, he'’s got nine lives,
people, and i'’m working on
294
00:10:49,724 --> 00:10:51,379
the only one I got over here.
295
00:10:51,448 --> 00:10:53,448
Well, I really won'’t
know anything
296
00:10:53,517 --> 00:10:54,758
until I open her up.
297
00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:55,827
Open me up?
298
00:10:55,862 --> 00:10:57,620
I may be the only
one concerned here,
299
00:10:57,689 --> 00:10:59,965
but he'’s not a real
doctor and i'’m a bleeder.
300
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,896
The key to your heart.
301
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,758
No, that'’s to the Volvo.
302
00:11:04,827 --> 00:11:06,655
Here it is.
303
00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:11,068
Allow me.
304
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:12,482
What are you going to do?
305
00:11:12,551 --> 00:11:14,103
I knew I should
have gotten the club.
306
00:11:14,172 --> 00:11:16,931
Zelda: There'’s the problem.
307
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,068
Your heart is made
of Valentine'’s candy.
308
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,517
Oh, good.
309
00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:23,206
I was afraid it was going
to be something serious.
310
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:29,241
Okay, so, I have a heart
that'’s made of Valentine candy
311
00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:31,275
that says, "be
mine. No, be mine."
312
00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:32,862
Why is this happening to me?
313
00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:34,251
I eat oat bran.[Hinges
squeaking]
314
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:35,838
Not a huge priority,
but you might think
315
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,079
about getting your hinges oiled.
316
00:11:37,103 --> 00:11:38,896
Well, Roland, Don'’t
just stand there
317
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,148
fingering your tunic; Help her.
318
00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:42,689
I'’ll see what I can
find in the magic book.
319
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,689
I remember this from
the training manual.
320
00:11:44,758 --> 00:11:46,310
Your condition is very serious.
321
00:11:46,379 --> 00:11:48,413
You must follow my
instructions precisely.
322
00:11:48,482 --> 00:11:49,689
What do I have to do?
323
00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:50,793
First, take my hand.
324
00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:52,103
Then what?
325
00:11:52,172 --> 00:11:53,310
Be patient.
326
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,724
[Humming]
327
00:11:55,793 --> 00:11:57,217
Is this supposed to
make me feel better?
328
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:59,068
I Don'’t know about
you, but i'’m in heaven.
329
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:00,482
Get out.
330
00:12:00,551 --> 00:12:02,655
What do you want from
me? I'’m just a temp.
331
00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:04,448
These wings aren'’t even real.
332
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,413
Here it is.
333
00:12:07,482 --> 00:12:09,551
Candy heart syndrome.
334
00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:11,655
Well, Roland was
right about one thing.
335
00:12:11,724 --> 00:12:13,379
Your condition is quite serious.
336
00:12:13,448 --> 00:12:15,655
"A witch gets it only
around Valentine'’s day
337
00:12:15,724 --> 00:12:17,862
when two mortals
are vying for her heart."
338
00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:19,379
Two? What two?
339
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,379
Harvey'’s the only
one vying for my heart...
340
00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:23,241
Well, at least before
it was chewable.
341
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,413
There must be someone else.
342
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,344
Hilda, i'’m so sorry...
343
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,689
But this means that that
Valentine wasn'’t for you.
344
00:12:29,758 --> 00:12:31,206
It was for Sabrina.
345
00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:33,724
[Deadpan voice]: Oh, no.
I'’m crushed. I can'’t go on.
346
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:37,241
Smirk, though your
heart is breaking.
347
00:12:37,310 --> 00:12:38,976
Oh, yeah, you know,
aunt hilda'’s problem'’s
348
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,310
a lot more monumental than
the girl with the candy heart.
349
00:12:41,379 --> 00:12:42,862
Yeah. It'’s true.
Sabrina'’s right.
350
00:12:42,931 --> 00:12:45,517
We have to focus all of our
attention and support on her.
351
00:12:45,586 --> 00:12:46,586
All of it.
352
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:48,206
Salem: Help! Emergency!
353
00:12:48,275 --> 00:12:49,206
Come quick!
354
00:12:49,275 --> 00:12:50,482
Be right back.
355
00:12:50,551 --> 00:12:52,034
It did sound dire.
356
00:12:52,103 --> 00:12:54,862
Well, no one can
say they coddle me.
357
00:12:54,931 --> 00:12:57,206
[Sobbing]
358
00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:59,206
Salem, what'’s the matter?
359
00:12:59,275 --> 00:13:01,379
I killed him.
360
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,068
I landed on him when
I fell out of the tree.
361
00:13:04,137 --> 00:13:06,241
All I wanted to do
was scare, humiliate,
362
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:08,172
and emotionally
scar him for life.
363
00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:09,724
I didn'’t want to hurt him.
364
00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:12,551
He'’s still breathing.
365
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:14,586
Do birdie cpr... stat.
366
00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:17,241
One, two, three, four, five.
367
00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:18,413
Breathe.
368
00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:19,241
[Sighs]
369
00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,586
Sorry to keep harping
370
00:13:20,655 --> 00:13:21,862
about this, but...
371
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,596
It says in this book that
my symptoms are going
372
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:26,034
to get progressively worse
over the next couple of hours.
373
00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:27,379
How can they get any worse?
374
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:28,793
[Heart beating loudly]
375
00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:30,862
Well, that'’s one way.
376
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:34,517
Do you think anyone will believe
I have a live ferret in my bra?
377
00:13:34,586 --> 00:13:36,310
He'’s alive![Bird chirping]
378
00:13:36,379 --> 00:13:38,068
Thank you, big guy.
379
00:13:38,137 --> 00:13:40,310
Okay, next crisis.
380
00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:42,862
Sabrina, you'’ve got to
stop one of those mortals
381
00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,310
from vying for your heart.
382
00:13:44,379 --> 00:13:46,724
If you Don'’t, you'’ll
become cold and heartless
383
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,000
and unable to love anyone.
384
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:49,172
Not even Harvey.
385
00:13:49,241 --> 00:13:50,275
What? But how can I get
386
00:13:50,344 --> 00:13:52,206
a complete stranger
to stop liking me?
387
00:13:52,275 --> 00:13:54,931
I know, I got to figure out
who sent me that Valentine.
388
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,655
I have an idea.
389
00:13:56,724 --> 00:13:58,965
We'’ll check out every
boy you ever met.
390
00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:00,241
Oh, no. We'’re not going
391
00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:02,655
through that again.
392
00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:04,827
I suppose you
have a better idea.
393
00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:06,827
Yes, i'’m calling in
a Valentine expert.
394
00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:09,344
No!
395
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,206
Did you not hear me say, "no!"?
396
00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:14,379
Well, if it isn'’t the girls
from ungrateful junction.
397
00:14:14,448 --> 00:14:16,689
Can'’t handle this
one without me, huh?
398
00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:18,862
Is there some
extra fee we can pay
399
00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:20,655
for you to drop the attitude?
400
00:14:20,724 --> 00:14:22,206
Just tell me who
sent this Valentine.
401
00:14:22,275 --> 00:14:25,448
Give me one good reason why
I should help you do anything.
402
00:14:25,517 --> 00:14:28,344
Because if you Don'’t, your
wings will no longer be on your back
403
00:14:28,413 --> 00:14:30,793
but someplace much
more uncomfortable.
404
00:14:30,862 --> 00:14:33,758
Oh, well, I guess
we have a deal then.
405
00:14:37,758 --> 00:14:39,655
Old cherub party trick.
406
00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:44,241
Josh?
407
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:46,137
Josh is my secret admirer?
408
00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:48,206
And he still only pays
me $5.25 an hour?
409
00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:50,310
Well, there'’s a little
matter of my fee.
410
00:14:50,379 --> 00:14:53,482
Sabrina, you have to
find Josh and get him
411
00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,137
to stop liking you.
412
00:14:55,206 --> 00:14:57,166
Unless you want to be the
kind of person who wears
413
00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:58,562
their heart on their
sleeve, literally.
414
00:14:58,586 --> 00:15:00,241
Hey, look, it stopped.
415
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:02,206
I must be getting better.
416
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:03,517
[Music playing]
417
00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:04,976
I know i'’m going
to regret asking this,
418
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,448
but what'’s that music?
419
00:15:06,517 --> 00:15:08,103
I think it'’s Jack Benny'’s
420
00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:09,482
old theme song, "love in bloom."
421
00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:12,413
♪ You know it isn'’t a dream ♪
422
00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:14,344
♪ it'’s love in bloom. ♪
423
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,172
[Imitating Benny]:
Now, cut that out.
424
00:15:16,241 --> 00:15:19,517
Okay, so the consensus
is, i'’m notgetting better.
425
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,344
Josh, I need to talk to you.
426
00:15:21,413 --> 00:15:22,965
Hey, you'’re back.
427
00:15:23,034 --> 00:15:24,827
Got that esophagus
under control?
428
00:15:24,896 --> 00:15:25,793
[Music playing]
429
00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:27,241
What'’s with the cheesy muzak?
430
00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,896
I thought the stereo was busted.
431
00:15:28,965 --> 00:15:30,620
Can I use your jacket?
432
00:15:30,689 --> 00:15:32,137
I'’m a little chilled.
433
00:15:32,206 --> 00:15:34,655
I'’ll bring it right back.
434
00:15:34,724 --> 00:15:36,448
[Music muffled]
435
00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:37,551
Okay, now it stopped.
436
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:38,655
Am I going crazy?
437
00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:40,068
No, youare.
438
00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:42,241
What'’s with the jackets?
439
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:43,827
Uh, kleptomania...
440
00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:45,517
One of my many
obnoxious qualities.
441
00:15:45,586 --> 00:15:48,000
You Don'’t have any
obnoxious qualities.
442
00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:50,103
Sure, I do. Dozens.
443
00:15:50,172 --> 00:15:51,448
I can...
444
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:52,793
Well, there...
445
00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:54,344
I can be so...
446
00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:55,344
Cute?
447
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,862
Really? You think so?
448
00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:58,758
No, no, no, no. No, no. Never.
449
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,482
I am so the opposite of cute.
450
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,103
Curses! Done in
by my own cuteness
451
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,965
and lack of obnoxious qualities.
452
00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:08,310
Well, if I can'’t get
him to stop liking me,
453
00:16:08,379 --> 00:16:10,517
i'’ll just get him to
like someone else.
454
00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:13,344
Hey, um, Josh, have
you ever noticed...
455
00:16:13,413 --> 00:16:15,586
♪ It'’s love in bloom! ♪
456
00:16:16,827 --> 00:16:18,655
Well, well, have you?
457
00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:20,620
[Monitor beeping rhythmically]
458
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:23,034
Salem: Is there
anything else I can do?
459
00:16:23,103 --> 00:16:24,793
Fluff your pillow?
460
00:16:24,862 --> 00:16:26,517
Regurgitate a worm?
461
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:27,724
[Chirping]
462
00:16:27,793 --> 00:16:30,206
No! No more TV for you...
463
00:16:30,275 --> 00:16:32,620
Not since you
flatlined during popular.
464
00:16:32,689 --> 00:16:34,551
Do you believe in
love at first sight?
465
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:35,931
Maybe.
466
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,275
Yeah, sure. I guess i'’m
something of a romantic.
467
00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:39,344
Great.
468
00:16:39,379 --> 00:16:40,655
Hey, come here.
469
00:16:40,724 --> 00:16:42,413
What do you think?
Do you see love?
470
00:16:42,482 --> 00:16:44,965
No, but I do see a
very terrified customer.
471
00:16:45,034 --> 00:16:49,827
♪ Oh, no, it isn'’t the
spring, it'’s love in bloom. ♪
472
00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:51,137
Sabrina, are you okay?
473
00:16:51,206 --> 00:16:52,586
Yeah, fine. Oh, what about her?
474
00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:53,931
She'’s cute.
475
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,931
♪ It'’s love in bloom. ♪
476
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,120
What'’s the matter with you?
477
00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:58,320
Why do you keep
singing that song?
478
00:16:58,344 --> 00:17:00,275
I'’m a crazy, insane
person... The kind of person
479
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,931
no one would ever have a secret
crush on, wouldn'’t you agree?
480
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,172
Not really.
481
00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:05,941
But maybe you should
take the rest of the day off.
482
00:17:05,965 --> 00:17:07,793
Relax, get some sleep...
483
00:17:07,862 --> 00:17:09,172
Learn a new song.
484
00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:14,655
The color'’s coming
back to his beak.
485
00:17:14,724 --> 00:17:16,413
The insurance
companies are right.
486
00:17:16,482 --> 00:17:19,172
Untrained and unqualified
people cantreat the sick.
487
00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:20,172
[Phone rings]
488
00:17:20,241 --> 00:17:21,172
Hello.
489
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,241
Sabrina: Hey, it'’s me.
490
00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:24,344
I just wanted to let you
know the music stopped.
491
00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:25,896
Oh, that'’s great.
492
00:17:25,965 --> 00:17:27,172
[Bird chirping]
493
00:17:27,241 --> 00:17:28,965
Oh, is that stupid
feather-butt dead yet?
494
00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:31,137
When he finally kicks it,
make sure you flush him.
495
00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:33,551
Sabrina, are you all right?
496
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,206
Hey, watch it, buddy.
497
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:37,206
Not everybody likes dogs.
498
00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:41,103
I swear, the blind think the
world owes them something.
499
00:17:41,172 --> 00:17:43,310
Something'’s
wrong. Oh, you think?
500
00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:45,827
Look, I Don'’t have time to
keep yappin'’ with you broads.
501
00:17:45,896 --> 00:17:47,907
I got to go talk to Josh; I'’ve
been way too nice to him.
502
00:17:47,931 --> 00:17:49,310
I got to tell the pathetic loser
503
00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:51,862
that he'’s got to get
a grip and move on.
504
00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:53,586
Sabrina, wait.[Dial tone]
505
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,103
Oh, no.
506
00:17:55,172 --> 00:17:56,758
Sabrina'’s becoming heartless.
507
00:17:56,827 --> 00:17:58,413
If we Don'’t do something soon,
508
00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:00,275
she'’ll be unable
to love anyone.
509
00:18:00,344 --> 00:18:02,862
We'’ve got to get Josh
to stop liking Sabrina.
510
00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:05,068
I think we both know
what we have to do.
511
00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:06,517
If you must, you must.
512
00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:11,344
This is really going
to cost you this time.
513
00:18:11,413 --> 00:18:13,758
Hey, Juan valdez,
we need to talk.
514
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:15,620
Sabrina, how'’s your stomach?
515
00:18:15,689 --> 00:18:17,172
I brought you another kiss.
516
00:18:17,241 --> 00:18:19,068
Well, they never said which boy
517
00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:20,551
I had to make stop liking me.
518
00:18:21,586 --> 00:18:22,965
Wait, Roland,
519
00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:24,631
you can'’t go in there
dressed like that.
520
00:18:24,655 --> 00:18:27,103
College place...
521
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:28,896
I'’ve got just the outfit!
522
00:18:30,172 --> 00:18:31,482
Oh, yeah...
523
00:18:31,551 --> 00:18:34,206
The wings would have
been much less noticeable.
524
00:18:34,275 --> 00:18:35,517
Look, there'’s Sabrina.
525
00:18:35,586 --> 00:18:37,000
Oh, no. She'’s with Harvey.
526
00:18:37,068 --> 00:18:38,620
I hope we'’re not too late.
527
00:18:38,689 --> 00:18:40,413
Wow. Sure is an
awfully long list
528
00:18:40,482 --> 00:18:42,275
of things you
Don'’t like about me.
529
00:18:42,344 --> 00:18:44,517
Did I mention
"stating the obvious"?
530
00:18:44,586 --> 00:18:45,758
Zelda: There'’s Josh.
531
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:46,758
Shoot him.
532
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:48,310
He has to stop liking Sabrina.
533
00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:50,379
What... and clear
the way for farm boy?
534
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:51,931
Are you kidding?
535
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,827
I'’ve been waiting for
Sabrina to tell him off for years.
536
00:18:54,896 --> 00:18:56,724
Sabrina, what'’s
the matter with you?
537
00:18:56,793 --> 00:18:59,137
Why are you saying all
this? Don'’t you love me?
538
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,586
Love? Ha!
539
00:19:00,655 --> 00:19:01,862
What'’s love?
540
00:19:01,931 --> 00:19:04,000
No, everything is just fine.
541
00:19:04,068 --> 00:19:06,241
If I can'’t have
Sabrina, nobody can.
542
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:08,965
I Don'’t love...
I Don'’t love...
543
00:19:09,034 --> 00:19:11,068
If you won'’t do
your job, then I will.
544
00:19:11,137 --> 00:19:12,482
[Blowing]
545
00:19:15,413 --> 00:19:18,000
I Don'’t love anyone but you.
546
00:19:19,586 --> 00:19:21,275
Hi. I'’m Josh, capricorn.
547
00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:24,793
I enjoy long walks,
foreign films and your eyes.
548
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:28,137
You did that on purpose.
549
00:19:28,206 --> 00:19:30,689
A frivolous rebound is
exactly what you need.
550
00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:33,000
What I need is to
be an only child.
551
00:19:33,068 --> 00:19:34,586
Tell me everything about you.
552
00:19:34,655 --> 00:19:35,965
Don'’t leave anything out.
553
00:19:36,034 --> 00:19:37,275
I'’m already fascinated.
554
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,103
Okay, junior.
555
00:19:39,172 --> 00:19:40,379
I'’m so sorry.
556
00:19:40,448 --> 00:19:42,482
It must have been a
weird reaction to that...
557
00:19:42,551 --> 00:19:44,655
Special sugar at my
house; Can you forgive me?
558
00:19:44,724 --> 00:19:46,275
Of course.
559
00:19:46,344 --> 00:19:48,689
I knew it couldn'’t
really be you.
560
00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:51,931
You have the biggest
heart of anyone I know.
561
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,827
Roland: Hey, farm boy.
562
00:19:53,896 --> 00:19:55,000
Roland?!
563
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,724
What'’s your cousin doing here?
564
00:19:56,793 --> 00:19:58,655
This. Roland!
565
00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:00,379
Are you okay?
566
00:20:02,413 --> 00:20:04,413
Ms. Spellman, I never realized
567
00:20:04,482 --> 00:20:08,103
what a devastatingly
attractive woman you are.
568
00:20:08,172 --> 00:20:09,241
Or that i'’d ever use
569
00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:12,241
the word "devastatingly"
in a sentence.
570
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,793
Happy Valentine'’s day!
571
00:20:13,862 --> 00:20:16,931
And now it'’s time for the
Valentine'’s day massacre.
572
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,068
Oh, Aurora borealis.
573
00:20:24,137 --> 00:20:27,206
Look at the stars, Harvey.
574
00:20:27,275 --> 00:20:30,034
I'’d rather see them
reflected in your eyes.
575
00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:33,896
Come on, what are you,
576
00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:36,586
three, four years
older than me, tops?
577
00:20:36,655 --> 00:20:38,517
Try 597.
578
00:20:38,586 --> 00:20:40,172
Love can overcome that.
579
00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:42,241
Can I peel you another grape?
580
00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:43,586
Whatever.
581
00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:48,896
Well, thank you for the worst
Valentine'’s day of my life.
582
00:20:48,965 --> 00:20:50,689
House calls are pricey.
583
00:20:50,758 --> 00:20:52,344
Besides, like I told you,
584
00:20:52,413 --> 00:20:54,793
everything will go back
to normal after tonight.
585
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,344
Milk dud?
586
00:20:56,413 --> 00:20:59,034
[Bird chirping]
587
00:20:59,103 --> 00:21:01,103
Sing us a song of love.
588
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,206
Sabrina, to paraphrase
589
00:21:03,275 --> 00:21:05,724
the great rod
mckuen, love is like...
590
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:07,724
[Yelling]
42376
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