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1
00:00:02,310 --> 00:00:04,034
How about a neurosurgeon?
2
00:00:04,103 --> 00:00:05,586
No, thanks. I'’m
in a toast mood.
3
00:00:05,655 --> 00:00:07,448
Salem'’s filling
out a questionnaire
4
00:00:07,517 --> 00:00:08,862
for his high school reunion.
5
00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:10,896
Apparently, it'’s
a work of fiction.
6
00:00:10,965 --> 00:00:12,862
"I perform lobotomies
in the off-season
7
00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:15,620
when i'’m not playing free
safety for the Dallas cowboys."
8
00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:16,793
You left out the part
9
00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:18,793
where you sit around
and scratch your butt.
10
00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:20,551
This reunion'’s
going to be great...
11
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,827
Seeing all my old cronies
12
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,482
pretending I know
about the brain.
13
00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:25,241
How are you going
to explain the fact
14
00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:27,034
that you now have
four legs, pointy ears
15
00:00:27,103 --> 00:00:29,275
and a furry belly,
Mr. Convicted felon?
16
00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:30,758
I got it all figured out.
17
00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:34,103
No one will care that I slipped
up playing the morality game
18
00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:36,068
as long as I walk
into that reunion
19
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,862
with a gorgeous
trophy on my arm.
20
00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:38,862
Allow me.
21
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:42,448
[ Groaning]
22
00:00:42,517 --> 00:00:45,068
I meant Susan Anton.
23
00:01:18,689 --> 00:01:20,586
So it'’s my first issue
as newspaper editor
24
00:01:20,655 --> 00:01:22,448
so I need a lead
story that'’s explosive
25
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:23,448
that'’s exclusive
26
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,206
something that'’s
front-page material.
27
00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:26,620
Well, i'’m willing to give you
28
00:01:26,689 --> 00:01:28,379
an inside scoop
on the football team.
29
00:01:28,448 --> 00:01:29,551
I made the first string
30
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:31,586
of people who are
up for the first string.
31
00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:34,103
Congratulations, but
what I really need is a war.
32
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:35,275
[ Bells tinkling]
33
00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:36,689
Hey, what are you doing?
34
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,482
I did a "kiss me" spell.
35
00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,724
It'’s a fast and easy way
to make mortal friends.
36
00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:43,896
Yeah, if you want to
be called fast and easy.
37
00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:45,862
Ms. Editor, have we got
38
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,689
a headline yet?
39
00:01:47,758 --> 00:01:48,827
[ Bells tinkling]
40
00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:49,931
Ooh!
41
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,827
Oh, my...
42
00:01:51,896 --> 00:01:53,241
A public display of affection
43
00:01:53,310 --> 00:01:57,275
although never practiced
in my family, is healthy.
44
00:01:57,344 --> 00:01:58,379
Tell no one.
45
00:01:58,448 --> 00:02:00,413
See, in the mortal realm
46
00:02:00,482 --> 00:02:02,724
making friends takes time.
47
00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:04,482
That girl'’s got
lots of friends.
48
00:02:10,551 --> 00:02:12,448
Ah, miss spellman...
49
00:02:12,517 --> 00:02:15,517
Miss, uh, new girl.
50
00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:17,482
Loitering in the hallway.
51
00:02:17,551 --> 00:02:19,655
Loitering next to miss spellman.
52
00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:21,689
I should get these
detention slips printed up
53
00:02:21,758 --> 00:02:23,034
with yourletterhead.
54
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,034
A mont blanc pen?
55
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,206
Where'’d you get that?
56
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:28,689
At the "none of
your business" store.
57
00:02:31,413 --> 00:02:33,310
[ Engine revving]
58
00:02:33,379 --> 00:02:36,344
[ Music blasting on radio]
59
00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:38,758
I'’m cruisin'’ to find a
date for the reunion.
60
00:02:38,827 --> 00:02:40,965
The babes love a sports car.
61
00:02:41,034 --> 00:02:43,655
They particularly
like one they can fit in.
62
00:02:43,724 --> 00:02:46,448
You know nothing about women.
63
00:02:46,517 --> 00:02:47,655
[ Laughing]
64
00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:48,724
I Don'’t get it.
65
00:02:48,758 --> 00:02:50,448
My doctor says i'’m anemic
66
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:52,010
but i'’ve been eating
all this red meat.
67
00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:53,689
It'’s more like blue-gray meat.
68
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,310
Is it just me or has
the cafeteria food
69
00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:56,448
gotten worse this year?
70
00:02:56,517 --> 00:02:57,517
[ Student vomiting]
71
00:02:57,551 --> 00:02:58,655
It'’s not just you.
72
00:02:58,724 --> 00:03:01,931
So what do you think
about this for my front page?
73
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,586
It'’s completely blank except
for the headline, which reads
74
00:03:05,655 --> 00:03:07,137
"no news is good news."
75
00:03:07,206 --> 00:03:08,413
Of course, if you decide to go
76
00:03:08,482 --> 00:03:10,310
with the me maybe
making first string story
77
00:03:10,379 --> 00:03:12,896
i'’ll be available for photos.
78
00:03:12,965 --> 00:03:14,862
I'’ll have my people
call your people.
79
00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:18,344
Should meat sweat like that?
80
00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:25,068
Dreama, what happened?
81
00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:26,241
I'’m not really hurt
82
00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:27,931
but look at all the
friends i'’ve got
83
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,931
Andi might even get
handicapped parking.
84
00:03:31,931 --> 00:03:33,896
Dreama, there'’s more to life
85
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:35,931
than getting into 7-Eleven
before everyone else.
86
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,241
Sorry, I should have
zapped in a pillow.
87
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:43,413
Wow, nice running shoes
88
00:03:43,482 --> 00:03:44,965
and pricey.
89
00:03:45,034 --> 00:03:46,206
Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:46,275 --> 00:03:49,000
The better to chase
you with, my dear.
91
00:03:50,103 --> 00:03:51,758
No gum-chewing.
92
00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:54,517
Heel-toe, heel-toe,
heel-toe, heel-toe.
93
00:03:54,586 --> 00:03:56,137
[ Door closing]
94
00:03:56,206 --> 00:03:57,793
What does this look like to you?
95
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,551
Um... drain clog?
96
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,241
Ooh, bad toupee?
97
00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,827
This is what Harvey was
eating for lunch today.
98
00:04:03,896 --> 00:04:05,596
You'’re never having
dinner at the kinkles'’ again.
99
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,137
Come on, we'’ve got to get to
our witch watch workshop. Weady?
100
00:04:09,206 --> 00:04:11,000
We just found out
from the witches council
101
00:04:11,068 --> 00:04:12,758
that we have to be
trained and licensed
102
00:04:12,827 --> 00:04:14,103
to run the clock shop.
103
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:15,620
Oh... good luck
104
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,068
and try not to come home
while i'’m throwing my huge party.
105
00:04:18,137 --> 00:04:19,413
Very funny.
106
00:04:19,482 --> 00:04:21,551
While we'’re gone, will
you keep an eye on Salem?
107
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,000
Why? He'’s a grown... cat.
108
00:04:23,068 --> 00:04:24,482
Well, he'’s having trouble
109
00:04:24,551 --> 00:04:26,103
finding a date for this reunion
110
00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:27,862
and I think it'’s
depressing him.
111
00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:29,000
Salem, are you okay?
112
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,000
I was fine
113
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:32,172
until you stepped
on my nah-nahs.
114
00:04:32,241 --> 00:04:34,206
I have six dates for tonight.
115
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,689
Driving the prison Van
does not constitute a date.
116
00:04:36,758 --> 00:04:39,413
No, I put an ad in the
other realmpersonals.
117
00:04:39,482 --> 00:04:42,068
I'’m meeting six ladies
and I have to decide
118
00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:45,689
which one is going to be
Salem'’s arm candy for the reunion.
119
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:47,827
[ Grunts]
120
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:48,896
Aah!
121
00:04:48,965 --> 00:04:50,448
Guh!
122
00:04:50,517 --> 00:04:51,793
Ahh!
123
00:04:51,862 --> 00:04:53,965
[ Groans in pain]
124
00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:55,655
Ooh!
125
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,586
[ Quizzical grunt]
126
00:04:59,655 --> 00:05:02,137
We didn'’t have any iced tea.
127
00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:05,448
Is that a purse?
128
00:05:05,517 --> 00:05:06,655
It'’s European.
129
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,413
Get some culture.
130
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,724
Mrs. Quick, i'’ve got a
story for the front page.
131
00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,275
I'’m all ears, Sabrina.
132
00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:14,931
Day after day, I watch my
boyfriend eat massive quantities
133
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,034
of so-called red meat
from the cafeteria.
134
00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:19,493
I know you'’re young and in love,
but give me a headline I can use.
135
00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:20,620
"Cafeteria-gate."
136
00:05:20,689 --> 00:05:22,241
I suspect there'’s
no ham in the burger
137
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,241
no meat in the loaf,
and no sloppy in the Joe.
138
00:05:24,310 --> 00:05:25,620
Well, you know what I mean.
139
00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:26,931
A meat scandal. Perfect.
140
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,793
We'’ll blow the
lid off this school...
141
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,241
Right after the pep rally.
142
00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:32,448
Just as I suspected...
There is no meat
143
00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:33,965
in this Salisbury steak
144
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,344
but there is a
family of paramecia
145
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:37,724
and even they'’re gagging.
146
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:39,379
Can I have my lunch back?
147
00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:41,482
Sabrina, remember
how you were looking
148
00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:43,896
for the perfect lead to
break your lunchroom story?
149
00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:45,586
Yeah? i'’ve got it, baby!
150
00:05:46,275 --> 00:05:48,413
Walk, Don'’t run.
151
00:05:51,172 --> 00:05:53,793
Ooh, I can see the headlines
now: "Kraft gets chair."
152
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:55,000
Open your eyes, girl.
153
00:05:55,068 --> 00:05:57,482
He'’s only a civil servant,
and there ain'’t no budget
154
00:05:57,551 --> 00:05:59,068
for a chippendale settee.
155
00:05:59,137 --> 00:06:01,689
So if the school money
isn'’t going to buy meat
156
00:06:01,758 --> 00:06:03,241
then it must be going to...
157
00:06:07,448 --> 00:06:10,068
Mr. Kraft.
158
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:14,586
Be my friend. I have a pool.
159
00:06:16,827 --> 00:06:18,137
Salem!
160
00:06:18,206 --> 00:06:20,965
I'’m checking on you
like I promised my aunts.
161
00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,068
"Forget my name.
162
00:06:22,137 --> 00:06:24,034
"I'’ve joined the
French foreign legion.
163
00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:25,206
Love, Salem"?
164
00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:27,172
[ Sobbing]
165
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,517
[ Sobbing continues]
166
00:06:30,586 --> 00:06:32,103
I over-packed my pack.
167
00:06:32,172 --> 00:06:33,965
I'’m really busy at school
168
00:06:34,034 --> 00:06:36,137
so if you'’re going
to run off to Algeria
169
00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:37,896
wait until my aunts come home.
170
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:40,310
I can'’t find a date
for the reunion.
171
00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:41,482
So? You'’ll go stag.
172
00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:42,931
I'’m sure you can pick up
173
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,827
some neglected wife at the bar.
174
00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:46,758
You can'’t cheer me up, Sabrina.
175
00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:49,103
There'’s... Something
you Don'’t know.
176
00:06:49,172 --> 00:06:51,931
I wasn'’t always the
stud muffin I am today.
177
00:06:53,103 --> 00:06:56,103
I was a high school nerd.
178
00:06:56,172 --> 00:06:58,034
Do the... [ Imitates
flashback sound]
179
00:06:58,103 --> 00:06:59,689
And i'’ll tell you all about it.
180
00:06:59,758 --> 00:07:01,793
[ Flashback music]
181
00:07:01,862 --> 00:07:05,344
[ Salem sobbing]
182
00:07:05,413 --> 00:07:09,103
Billy luto, you let me down.
183
00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:11,896
♪ Salem is a weenie
184
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,655
♪ we hung him by his...
185
00:07:14,655 --> 00:07:16,275
♪ Heenie!
186
00:07:16,344 --> 00:07:17,689
Boys: ♪ Salem is a weenie
187
00:07:17,758 --> 00:07:19,137
♪ we hung him by his...
188
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:23,758
No! The flashbacks!
189
00:07:23,827 --> 00:07:25,931
Wow. For the first time,
you seem so vulnerable.
190
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,275
I so wanted to go
back to school a winner.
191
00:07:29,344 --> 00:07:30,793
But Salem, you area winner.
192
00:07:30,862 --> 00:07:32,000
You'’ve got...
193
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,206
Well, there'’s...
194
00:07:33,275 --> 00:07:34,413
What about...?
195
00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:35,620
Okay, you know what, Salem?
196
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,448
I promise, I will find you
a date for the reunion.
197
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:40,275
A trophy date.
198
00:07:40,344 --> 00:07:41,838
Sometimes it'’s hard
to make new friends.
199
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,010
Maybe you have an ex-girlfriend
200
00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:44,631
you want to take with
you to the reunion.
201
00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:46,275
Great idea. I had
a million of them.
202
00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:47,275
Oh, yeah.
203
00:07:47,344 --> 00:07:48,758
That'’s why your
little black book
204
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:51,103
is practically the size of
the New York phone book.
205
00:07:51,172 --> 00:07:52,758
Let'’s see... What
about Sarah Philips?
206
00:07:52,827 --> 00:07:54,655
I'’d love to go with her.
207
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:58,206
She was always so sweet,
so warm, so nurturing...
208
00:07:59,206 --> 00:08:01,068
[ Thunder and lightning]
209
00:08:01,137 --> 00:08:04,551
So desperate for commitment.
210
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:09,034
Not-not to be picky,
but how about someone
211
00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:11,689
for whom dating doesn'’t
constitute adultery?
212
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,620
Well, I Don'’t know how
to make out her last name
213
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:16,379
but... what about... Hallie?
214
00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:18,931
Yeah. She was
drop-dead gorgeous.
215
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,620
I wonder why we ever broke up.
216
00:08:21,689 --> 00:08:23,206
[ Thunder and lightning]
217
00:08:24,344 --> 00:08:26,206
Hey, Salem.
218
00:08:26,275 --> 00:08:29,275
[ Gagging]
219
00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:31,517
Now I remember.
220
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:33,413
Halitosis.
221
00:08:33,482 --> 00:08:34,965
[ Choking and gagging]
222
00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:37,551
Her breath could
start the windmill
223
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,517
on an old Dutch painting.
224
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:42,034
That'’s the only other name
in here except for... mom.
225
00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:44,034
Uh... ink fades.
226
00:08:44,103 --> 00:08:45,793
Well, I really have
to get back to school
227
00:08:45,862 --> 00:08:47,103
and crack the Mr. Kraft case.
228
00:08:47,172 --> 00:08:48,793
Because Salem
needs a date really fast
229
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,827
send him someone he
truly loved from the past.
230
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:53,482
[ Thunder and lightning]
231
00:08:55,275 --> 00:08:56,758
From your Harold and maudephase?
232
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:57,896
Oh, Don'’t be sick.
233
00:08:57,965 --> 00:09:00,689
She'’s a lady who was
handing out fish yesterday.
234
00:09:00,758 --> 00:09:01,896
I'’ll find you a date
235
00:09:01,965 --> 00:09:03,310
as soon as I get
back from school.
236
00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:07,758
Got any trout on you?
237
00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:08,827
Oh, i'’m so glad
238
00:09:08,862 --> 00:09:10,551
we got into father
time'’s workshop.
239
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,517
It'’s supposed to
be very intellectual.
240
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:15,689
I know, I know, he'’s going
to teach us to "be the clock."
241
00:09:15,758 --> 00:09:18,517
Trust me, you'’ll be
glad you stuck it out.
242
00:09:20,137 --> 00:09:21,275
[ Bell tolls]
243
00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:25,586
Oh, yeah, i'’m really
glad we stuck it out.
244
00:09:25,655 --> 00:09:28,413
There'’s got to be some
proof he'’s funneling the money.
245
00:09:28,482 --> 00:09:29,931
Yeah, some kind of an invoice
246
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,862
or a phone message
or a pacifier...
247
00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:33,310
Oh, the horror!
248
00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:35,448
Hey! What are you doing?
249
00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:38,275
Mr. Kraft. We just wanted to
show you Mrs. Quick'’s new camera.
250
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,344
Show him, Mrs. Quick.
251
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,310
Okay, well, we'’ll see
you on the way down.
252
00:09:41,379 --> 00:09:42,586
I mean... later.
253
00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:49,482
Hey, Sabrina.
254
00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:51,655
I read that pets are the
best way to meet people.
255
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:52,655
I love your kitty.
256
00:09:52,724 --> 00:09:53,724
It'’s working.
257
00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:55,586
[ Bell ringing]
258
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,241
Okay, where'’s my 50 bucks?
259
00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:00,862
She talks?
260
00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:01,862
If you want her to stop
261
00:10:01,931 --> 00:10:03,103
it'’s 50 bucks.
262
00:10:03,172 --> 00:10:04,620
I'’m sorry. She was supposed
263
00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:06,206
to keep her furry mouth shut.
264
00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:07,931
She only thinks about herself.
265
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,862
Really, that self-centered?
266
00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:11,241
Is she single?
267
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:14,551
You want to set me
up with thispinhead.
268
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:16,827
Somebody'’s cranky
'’cause they got
269
00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,172
hit in the face
with a frying pan.
270
00:10:19,241 --> 00:10:21,586
Oh, I must have
entered a wit-free zone.
271
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,413
What a disaster.
272
00:10:23,482 --> 00:10:25,448
What a woman!
273
00:10:29,586 --> 00:10:31,034
You graduated
from other realm high
274
00:10:31,103 --> 00:10:32,034
the year before me?
275
00:10:32,103 --> 00:10:33,137
Wait a minute.
276
00:10:33,206 --> 00:10:35,379
Juliette jingleheimer?
277
00:10:35,448 --> 00:10:36,931
The prom queen?
278
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,103
In person... So to speak.
279
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,620
Salem, why Don'’t
you tell Juliette
280
00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:42,103
about some of your... hobbies?
281
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:43,275
Psst, psst!
282
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:45,000
I can strut my own stuff.
283
00:10:45,068 --> 00:10:47,275
I like fish.
284
00:10:47,344 --> 00:10:49,931
So, are you working on the
homework I assigned you?
285
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,413
Yup. The "kraft true
confessions potion" is brewing.
286
00:10:53,482 --> 00:10:55,148
Great. Now, tomorrow
you'’ll slip him the Mickey
287
00:10:55,172 --> 00:10:57,320
and then he'’ll confess the
whole thing and i'’ll have my story.
288
00:10:57,344 --> 00:10:59,793
And there'’s no way we
could get arrested for this?
289
00:10:59,862 --> 00:11:01,582
There'’s no way icould
be arrested for this.
290
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,079
Come on Juliette,
we have to get home.
291
00:11:03,103 --> 00:11:03,896
Wait!
292
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,413
Uh, Juliette, I know
293
00:11:05,482 --> 00:11:07,793
we haven'’t known
each other very long
294
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:10,517
and, I, uh... how do I, uh...?
295
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:11,758
I was wondering if I...
296
00:11:11,827 --> 00:11:13,965
Would you come
with me to my reunion?
297
00:11:14,034 --> 00:11:15,172
Why not?
298
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:16,586
Bye.
299
00:11:16,655 --> 00:11:20,137
Glory be! I have a date,
and not just any date.
300
00:11:20,206 --> 00:11:23,137
She'’s the coolest gal
from other realm high.
301
00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:24,448
And you owe it all to me.
302
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,344
Exactly, and that'’s why
i'’m going to warn you
303
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:29,379
that i'’m about to sing "lady".
304
00:11:29,448 --> 00:11:30,655
[ Laughing]
305
00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:35,758
So you gave
Mr. Kraft the potion?
306
00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:37,172
Yes. I slipped
it in his v8 juice.
307
00:11:37,241 --> 00:11:38,517
Great. So he'’s ready to confess
308
00:11:38,586 --> 00:11:40,386
and he'’s met his daily
vegetable requirement.
309
00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:41,527
Here he is. Let'’s get him.
310
00:11:41,551 --> 00:11:42,620
Uh, Mr. Kraft...
311
00:11:42,689 --> 00:11:43,976
Is there anything
you'’d like to confess
312
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,148
about the meat in the cafeteria?
313
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,413
[ Whinnying]
314
00:11:47,482 --> 00:11:49,517
Oh, pardon me.
315
00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:52,344
Let me guess.
316
00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:55,275
You put the confession potion
together in one big horse pill?
317
00:11:55,344 --> 00:11:56,482
How'’d you know?
318
00:11:56,551 --> 00:11:57,827
[ Bell ringing]
319
00:11:57,896 --> 00:11:59,551
Go make some more friends.
320
00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,137
Sabrina, good news.
321
00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:04,448
I'’ve been contacted
by a secret informant.
322
00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:06,655
This person works
in the cafeteria
323
00:12:06,724 --> 00:12:09,137
and goes by the
name of "sore throat."
324
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,631
That'’s great. When and
where can we meet him?
325
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:12,310
Tonight in the cafeteria.
326
00:12:12,379 --> 00:12:16,034
Mr. Kraft will rue the day
he ever... did the bell ring?
327
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,241
About ten seconds ago.
328
00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:18,310
Oh, shoot.
329
00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:21,827
Salem, what are you holding?
330
00:12:21,896 --> 00:12:24,448
And it better not be
another subpoena.
331
00:12:24,517 --> 00:12:27,275
It'’s a letter from
my lady... Juliette.
332
00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:29,241
She'’s crazy about me.
333
00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:31,379
"Salem, remember
to get my kidney pate."
334
00:12:31,448 --> 00:12:33,517
Well, I guess for a
cat that'’s romantic.
335
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,862
It'’s not what she said
336
00:12:34,931 --> 00:12:37,068
but that she took
the time to say it.
337
00:12:37,137 --> 00:12:38,551
Man, you got it bad.
338
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:39,724
Behold the manifestation
339
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,000
of my affection.
340
00:12:41,068 --> 00:12:42,517
"S.s. Plus j...
341
00:12:42,586 --> 00:12:44,068
Squiggly line"?
342
00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:47,758
My affection is endless,
but my nails are not.
343
00:12:47,827 --> 00:12:48,758
Hello, honey.
344
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,655
Is there any particular reason
345
00:12:50,724 --> 00:12:52,344
you two are dressed
like the ricola man?
346
00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:55,655
Oh, dear lord, we were in
such a hurry to get out of there
347
00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:57,172
we left on our lederhosen.
348
00:12:57,241 --> 00:12:58,689
They'’re deceptively
comfortable.
349
00:12:58,758 --> 00:13:00,655
[ Salem giggling]
350
00:13:00,724 --> 00:13:03,034
Oh, a corsage?
351
00:13:03,103 --> 00:13:05,172
Anything for my dear Juliette.
352
00:13:05,241 --> 00:13:06,310
Ciao, Bella.
353
00:13:06,379 --> 00:13:08,724
This kitten is smitten.
354
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:11,241
I found Salem a
date for the reunion.
355
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:12,689
Way to go, honey.
356
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,758
You didn'’t pay anyone, did you?
357
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,206
Hey, she can spend her
allowance any way that she likes.
358
00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:19,793
Let'’s get this business
license in the toaster.
359
00:13:19,862 --> 00:13:22,241
[ Ticking]
360
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:23,172
What'’s that?
361
00:13:23,241 --> 00:13:25,172
We spent the day in a clock
362
00:13:25,241 --> 00:13:27,689
and we developed
a low-grade tick.
363
00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:29,379
Okay, i'’m just going to nod
364
00:13:29,448 --> 00:13:31,758
and pretend to understand.
365
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:35,517
Okay, close your eyes.
366
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:38,448
Thanks, Sabrina.
367
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:42,310
Wait till that rotten Billy luto
sees me walk into that reunion
368
00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:44,448
with the prom queen on my arm.
369
00:13:44,517 --> 00:13:45,655
Juliette, mi amour.
370
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,241
Open up.
371
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:48,931
Mmm, yum, yum.
372
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,206
So, just out of curiosity, why
was Juliette turned into a cat?
373
00:13:52,275 --> 00:13:54,448
I only tried to take
over the world.
374
00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:56,586
She tried to take
over the universe.
375
00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:57,793
Man, is she hot.
376
00:13:57,862 --> 00:14:01,965
[ Thunder and lightning]
377
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:04,275
Mr. Saberhagen
378
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,793
your limo awaits
379
00:14:05,862 --> 00:14:08,275
and, yes, you have to tip.
380
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:11,551
You should know I plan
to play the radio very loud.
381
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:12,900
Thanks for bringing me Juliette.
382
00:14:12,965 --> 00:14:14,517
I'’m in love.
383
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:19,172
[ Thunder and lightning]
384
00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:21,379
They grow up so fast.
385
00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:27,896
Sabrina, i'’m glad I found you.
386
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:29,620
Sore throat postponed.
387
00:14:29,689 --> 00:14:32,344
Apparently, he
has a... Sore throat.
388
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,965
Dang. Done in by irony.
389
00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:35,103
I got to go.
390
00:14:35,172 --> 00:14:37,034
He asked me to
leave some lozenges
391
00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:38,275
in a brown paper bag
392
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:39,482
on a bench in the park.
393
00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:41,724
Hey, dreama, what
are you doing here?
394
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:42,862
I joined a club
395
00:14:42,931 --> 00:14:45,620
but it'’s only full of
parents and teachers.
396
00:14:45,689 --> 00:14:47,551
Yeah, the pta'’s funny that way.
397
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,793
So was Juliette excited
about going to the reunion?
398
00:14:49,862 --> 00:14:51,982
Oh, yeah. She said she
can'’t wait to run into this guy
399
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,758
that she had a huge
crush on in high school.
400
00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:55,689
So she didn'’t go
because she likes Salem?
401
00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,724
She likes that he'’s
giving her a ride.
402
00:14:57,793 --> 00:14:59,310
Poor Salem.
403
00:14:59,379 --> 00:15:01,448
So basically, the girl
you picked for Salem
404
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:02,793
is just using him.
405
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:04,689
That'’s one way to put it.
406
00:15:04,758 --> 00:15:07,000
Why didn'’t you tell me
Juliette was so awful?
407
00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:08,068
You met her.
408
00:15:08,103 --> 00:15:09,620
All right, let'’s not overreact.
409
00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:10,758
Salem will survive.
410
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,241
He'’ll see the potato
bar, and all will be well.
411
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:15,068
Sure, he'’s thought
he was in love before
412
00:15:15,137 --> 00:15:16,275
and not just with himself.
413
00:15:16,344 --> 00:15:18,862
[ Phone ringing]
414
00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:19,931
Hello.
415
00:15:19,965 --> 00:15:22,310
I'’m calling from
other realm Vegas
416
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,482
about Mr. Saberhagen'’s wedding.
417
00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:26,241
No!
418
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,448
Salem'’s going to
propose to Juliette.
419
00:15:28,517 --> 00:15:31,320
Okay, no matter what food they serve
there, I think he'’s going to be crushed.
420
00:15:31,344 --> 00:15:34,068
Poor Salem, he'’s going to
humiliate himself more than usual.
421
00:15:34,137 --> 00:15:35,517
Well, we'’ve got to stop him.
422
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,275
But if we Don'’t
get there in time
423
00:15:37,344 --> 00:15:43,689
I think we should
all blame dreama.
424
00:15:43,758 --> 00:15:44,965
[ Ticking]
425
00:15:45,034 --> 00:15:46,517
What'’s going on?
426
00:15:46,586 --> 00:15:47,586
Security.
427
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,724
What'’s that ticking?
428
00:15:48,793 --> 00:15:50,758
Her.
429
00:15:50,827 --> 00:15:52,034
Look, either you'’re strapped
430
00:15:52,103 --> 00:15:53,517
with some kind
of explosive device
431
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,758
or you'’re just ticked off.
432
00:15:54,827 --> 00:15:56,586
Either way, I can'’t
let you through.
433
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,482
It'’s not like we'’re
flying to Israel.
434
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:01,620
Well, you two go.
Salem can'’t wait.
435
00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:04,275
[ Thunder and lightning]
436
00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:05,827
I'’m guessing a hijacking joke
437
00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:07,275
wouldn'’t be funny to you.
438
00:16:07,344 --> 00:16:09,448
[ Dance music playing]
439
00:16:17,931 --> 00:16:19,827
Wow.
440
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,689
Is that Becky Barnes?
441
00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:24,413
She'’s lost a lot of weight.
442
00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:25,631
That jerk... He'’s not coming.
443
00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:27,034
Oh, are you looking
for the waiter?
444
00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:28,034
I'’ll get him.
445
00:16:28,103 --> 00:16:29,551
Uh, no, thanks.
446
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,113
If I need something,
i'’ll make youget it.
447
00:16:31,137 --> 00:16:32,586
I love your fire.
448
00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:37,241
Juliette, there'’s something
i'’ve been dying to ask you.
449
00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:38,827
[ Clearing throat]
450
00:16:38,896 --> 00:16:41,586
I feel when life hands
you something wonderful
451
00:16:41,655 --> 00:16:42,827
you should grab it.
452
00:16:42,896 --> 00:16:44,389
You'’re not going to
touch me, are you?
453
00:16:44,413 --> 00:16:46,793
Okay, here it goes.
454
00:16:46,862 --> 00:16:49,448
Juliette, will you...?
455
00:16:49,517 --> 00:16:51,286
Salem, there you are. I
thought I might find you here.
456
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,137
We need to talk.
457
00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:54,310
Let me start. Go away.
458
00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:55,413
Come on, Juliette.
459
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,689
You have cat litter
on your back paws.
460
00:16:57,758 --> 00:16:59,517
Oh, white fur shows everything.
461
00:17:00,655 --> 00:17:04,000
Sabrina, this night rocks.
462
00:17:04,068 --> 00:17:06,000
We sipped champagne in the limo.
463
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,734
Salem, there'’s something
I need to tell you.
464
00:17:07,758 --> 00:17:08,931
We tangoed cheek to cheek.
465
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,034
This may be hard to say, but...
466
00:17:11,103 --> 00:17:13,206
Cats can tango? Wait a minute.
467
00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:14,827
Salem, Juliette
only came with you
468
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:16,620
so she could see some other guy.
469
00:17:16,689 --> 00:17:18,310
Her brother?
470
00:17:18,379 --> 00:17:21,172
So if there was a question
you were going to... pop
471
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,724
you might want to
save it for another girl.
472
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,241
I only have one question.
473
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:28,000
How could I be so stupid?
474
00:17:28,068 --> 00:17:29,517
Oh...
475
00:17:29,586 --> 00:17:31,034
Come on, Salem,
let me take you home.
476
00:17:31,103 --> 00:17:32,586
We can stop by the potato bar.
477
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:35,241
Real bacon bits
mighthelp me forget.
478
00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:37,379
Salem saberhagen.
479
00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:38,862
Yeah? Billy luto.
480
00:17:38,931 --> 00:17:42,482
Well, look who'’s
doing time in a kitty suit.
481
00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:44,724
Did world domination
plans fall through?
482
00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:45,896
[ Laughing]
483
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,310
[ Groaning]Do you want me
484
00:17:47,379 --> 00:17:49,586
to level the playing field
and turn him into a mouse?
485
00:17:49,655 --> 00:17:50,655
A very slow mouse?
486
00:17:50,689 --> 00:17:52,793
Thanks, but I can defend myself.
487
00:17:52,862 --> 00:17:53,941
I'’m not the high school nerd
488
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:55,379
I used to be.
489
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:56,689
Nice tux.
490
00:17:56,758 --> 00:17:57,758
Stop it!
491
00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:59,586
So what have ibeen up to?
492
00:17:59,655 --> 00:18:01,620
Well, i'’m rich, i'’m married
493
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:04,310
and my bathroom
is not in the kitchen.
494
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:05,793
I mean it, quit.
495
00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:08,896
Boy, I haven'’t given
a wedgie in decades.
496
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:09,689
Huh?
497
00:18:09,758 --> 00:18:11,206
I hope you'’re wearing
498
00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:13,310
little b.V.D.S under
that cummerbund.
499
00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:14,275
Hey, leave him alone!
500
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,068
At least Salem had real dreams.
501
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,551
Sure, they were bereft of ethics
502
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:22,172
or even a real plan, but
he had the guts to try.
503
00:18:22,241 --> 00:18:23,103
This cat is more of a man
504
00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:24,862
than you'’ll ever be.
505
00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:28,448
You'’re nothing but
a big bully, bully luto.
506
00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:30,689
Juliette...
507
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:33,724
Cute couple.
508
00:18:33,758 --> 00:18:36,931
Maybe you'’d like a
wedgie built for two?
509
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,241
Okay, i'’m done being brave.
510
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:40,517
Sabrina!
511
00:18:43,172 --> 00:18:44,551
Well, look who'’s hanging
512
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,551
by their heenie now.
513
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:47,551
[ Chuckling]
514
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:48,965
Thank you, Juliette.
515
00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:51,034
I knew you loved me.
516
00:18:51,103 --> 00:18:53,275
Love you? I Don'’t love you.
517
00:18:53,344 --> 00:18:54,551
I just can'’t stand him.
518
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:57,896
I liked him all junior
year... Nothing.
519
00:18:57,965 --> 00:19:01,172
And unrequited love
makes me cranky.
520
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,896
Come on, you
liked me just a little.
521
00:19:03,965 --> 00:19:06,103
I wish I could roll my eyes.
522
00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:08,689
Well, you liked
me better than him.
523
00:19:08,758 --> 00:19:10,655
I like a canker sore
better than him.
524
00:19:10,724 --> 00:19:12,000
Yes!
525
00:19:14,482 --> 00:19:16,310
Wow, apparently these work
526
00:19:16,379 --> 00:19:18,310
in the other realm.
527
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:32,344
Thanks for meeting
us here, sore throat.
528
00:19:32,413 --> 00:19:33,724
Do you want to come closer?
529
00:19:33,793 --> 00:19:36,448
No. I'’m a little nervous
about this whole thing.
530
00:19:36,517 --> 00:19:38,689
Don'’t be. This is
completely confidential
531
00:19:38,758 --> 00:19:40,793
except for what we
publish in the paper.
532
00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:43,517
Yeah, so just relax and
tell us everything you know
533
00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:46,034
and, remember, it'’s for
the good of the school.
534
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:47,034
All right.
535
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,379
I keep seeing strange things.
536
00:19:49,448 --> 00:19:51,482
This girl is wearing one outfit,
537
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:54,862
then suddenly she'’s
wearing a different outfit.
538
00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:57,241
Okay, well, I think we
got everything we need.
539
00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:58,758
The same girl is on crutches
540
00:19:58,827 --> 00:20:00,172
and the crutches disappear.
541
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,586
There'’s a talking cat
542
00:20:01,655 --> 00:20:04,000
and, um...
543
00:20:04,068 --> 00:20:06,068
I can'’t take it anymore.
544
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:09,413
Do you know what this means?
545
00:20:09,482 --> 00:20:11,413
Yup, no corroboration, no story.
546
00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:12,896
No, this is paranormal.
547
00:20:12,965 --> 00:20:14,724
This is worthy of network TV.
548
00:20:14,793 --> 00:20:16,310
This is bigger than meat.
549
00:20:16,379 --> 00:20:17,482
Oh, pshaw.
550
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,482
The kid'’s obviously
starved for attention.
551
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:20,931
Aren'’t we all?
552
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,551
And, besides, i'’ve decided
to go with another story...
553
00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,241
"kinkle might
make first string."
554
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:26,241
Got to go.
555
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:27,689
So, how did it go?
556
00:20:27,758 --> 00:20:29,896
Did sore throat cough it up?
557
00:20:29,965 --> 00:20:31,085
He hocked something ugly up.
558
00:20:31,137 --> 00:20:32,177
We got to get out of here.
559
00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:35,241
Aah!
560
00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:37,241
[ Screaming]
561
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:38,310
No!
562
00:20:42,172 --> 00:20:44,689
So you never pinned
anything on Mr. Kraft, huh?
563
00:20:44,758 --> 00:20:47,137
No, I can'’t believe
he wasn'’t dirty dealing.
564
00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:49,448
No, no. Come on, you'’re
being unreasonable.
565
00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:50,620
We can work this out!
566
00:20:50,689 --> 00:20:52,137
Oh, no, no, not the settee!
567
00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:54,034
Where am I going
to take my naps?!
568
00:20:54,103 --> 00:20:55,586
You told us it was t-bones.
569
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:59,827
You never said it
was school meat.
570
00:20:59,896 --> 00:21:01,896
[ Stammering]
571
00:21:01,965 --> 00:21:03,758
No.
572
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:05,758
[ Grunts]
39955
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