All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S03E25.The.Good.the.Bad.and.the.Luau.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Sabrina, we have good
news and bad news.

The bad news is, we'’re going

to a family reunion.

The good news is...

It'’s not our family?

No. The family reunion

is in Hawaii.

All right. I wonder what

the weather'’s like
in Hawaii right now.

Well, let'’s see.

Okay, well, that
answers my question.

I will not pack galoshes.

Can I help you with those
bags under your eyes?

[ Meowing]Who'’s this?

I'’d like to introduce you

to my new friend, Lola.

I met her outside
my favorite Sushi bar.

We were fighting over a
tuna belly and she won.

♪ Salem got beat by a girl. ♪

Salem got beat by
a woman, Sabrina.

She'’s in the family way.

Maybe we should
have him neutered.

I heard that, and for your
information, i'’m not the father

but she will be staying with
us until the blessed event.

Didn'’t I ask for milk?

[ Snoring]

Harvey? Harvey!

[ Gasping]: I'’m coming, mom.

Oh, no.

Okay, nothing to see
here. Show'’s over.

Harvey, if you keep
falling asleep at your locker

they'’re going to transfer you

to the narcolepsy magnet school.

I know. My dad'’s away,
and according to my mom

pregnant women
need soy hot cocoas

brought to them every half
hour throughout the night.

Well, are you sure your mom'’s
pregnant and not just lazy?

I need a break.

Thinking about joining the army.

Hey, I have an idea.
You need to get away

and we need someone to
watch Salem while we go

on our family reunion to Hawaii.

I'’ll do it. I'’ll pay you.

Great. Oh, wait, we have
another cat and she'’s pregnant.

Does she sit around and
moan about her varicose veins?

Not so far.

When do I start?

Salem: Harvey?

You got a mortal
to stay with us?

What if I need
something for Lola?

How am I supposed
to let him know?

Charades? Come hither stares?

What if I put

a Dr. Doolittle spell on Harvey?

That way you two
can talk to each other.

You'’ve done that spell before?

No, but I can. I discovered it

while studying the magic book.

Studying the magic book?

Who are you and what
have you done with Sabrina?

Harvey, this is Lola.

She mostly just
wants to be left alone.

And excellent quality
in a pregnant thing.

Sabrina, we'’d better get going.

Oh, I just wanted to make,
uh, Harvey a farewell drink.

Farewell.

Doolittle spell?

Ugh!

Doolittle.

I didn'’t know kool-aid
came in chunky style.

Oh, Harvey, you remember
Salem, Don'’t you?

Hey, harv.

Hey, Salem. Anything on TV?

Sportscenter. You get the chips.

I'’ll get the remote.

You'’re on.

Have a great time.

Okay, well, uh, I hope
we Don'’t miss our flight.

I mean, it'’s rush hour.

The highways will
be jammed, and...

I love that joke.

Wow, for the
first time in my life

I understand the meaning
of the word "swank."

Hold it.

This is hilda'’s and my room.

Your room is through there.

My own room?
What a great reunion.

I Don'’t care if I do
have to kiss aunt bootsie.

Oh!

I'’m calling management.

There'’s something

we need to tell you
about this trip, dear.

You can'’t enjoy the beach

until you solve
the family secret.

What?

When were you planning
on telling me this?

Now.

Don'’t worry.

You'’ll solve it.

It'’ll be easy once
you have the final clue.

I am pele...

Hawaiian goddess of fire...

Cousin pele, to you.

I am here

to give you the final clue

to the spellman family secret.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Would some baking soda help?

That'’s okay. Just Don'’t talk.

It distracts me.

Here is your clue.

Is it on fire? No.

I lost more clues that way.

Here.

Good luck.

Huh. A ball of string.

Okay, well, i'’ll just
call room service

and, uh, ponder over this

while I have a burger
and some free movies.

Sorry. No food. No fun.

You have to work on it
until you get the answer.

I just want to thank you
two for bringing me to Hawaii.

If you have any questions,
call us on the cell phone.

We'’ll be at the luau

after our hula lesson.

I need to learn to hula, too.

[ Jeopardy-like
theme song playing]

Oh, that won'’t
be too distracting.

Of course robocop
can beat the Terminator

Mr. "I liked my best
friend'’s wedding."

I said it had its moments.

Oh, do you want
your tummy rubbed?

Oh, go back to sleepy.

Did you ever see Rambo?

Remember the part when
he stitched himself up?

You know, I read
Stallone really did that.

You did your homework, right?

Right. What homework?

Oh! Hilda, at the
last family reunion

you managed to alienate everyone

because you hadn'’t even read

the family newsletter.

Oh, it wasn'’t that bad.

They made you
eat sand. Not a lot.

Anyway, here comes uncle George.

Now, he'’s at the reunion

with his second wife Ruby.

I Don'’t know
what he sees in her

but be sure to compliment her

on her supposed weight loss.

Hello, Zelda.

Hello, Ruby.

You'’ve lost weight.

Oh, look. I think
they'’re towing my car.

Every member of
the spellman family

is born with

a ball of string? No.

With, uh... with stringy hair.

No. We condition.

[ Phone ringing]

Hello.

Salem: Sabrina, help!

[ Lola meowing]

Harvey and I are
beside ourselves.

Lola won'’t stop crying.

I have problems of my own.

I have to solve
this stupid secret

with this stupid ball of string.

If you come home,
i'’ll help you...

With the clue.

Salem? What is this?

What did the doctor say?

Oh, the doctor on the
telephone, uh, said Lola needs

a nesting spot.

Go get a cardboard box

and set it up in
the living room.

Run, man!

Okay. But leave Lola in here.

The box is supposed
to be a surprise.

Oh. You have a
very controlling vet.

Good going.

Okay, this is my last clue...

A ball of string.

That'’s not string; It'’s twine.

Oh, please let me at it.

Mom, what are you doing here?

Well, I was taking a walk

and suddenly I got very tired.

That'’s Mrs. Kinkle.

I got to get out of here.

But you haven'’t helped Lola.

Right. Uh, until this
cat gives birth to a litter

make her calm and
relaxed for her new cat-sitter.

She'’s fixed.

I have to admit that sound
was beginning to annoy me.

Harvey: I'’ll find out, mom.

Got to go.

Salem, do we have

any soy hot cocoa?

[ Spitting.]

How do you get
all this sand out?

Just keep rinsing.

Ugh. Shell.

Hmm, twine.

Okay.

Every member of
the spellman family

is born with... twine...

With wine?

I come from a long
line of alcoholics? No.

Every member of the
spellman family is born

with a twine

minus the "e"... is
"twin"... That'’s it!

Every member of the spellman
family is born with a twin!

A twin?

Congratulations, Sabrina!

You solved the family secret.

Come here.

I'’d like to introduce
you to your twin.

Katrina.

Hello, Sabrina.

Wow! I'’m so excited.

And... apparently, not unique.

I can'’t believe I have a twin.

This is really good news

especially if one of us
ever needs a kidney.

Katrina lives in south Dakota
in a house exactly like ours.

Except for some
reason, they have shag.

♪

♪

Katrina and I had a great
time together yesterday.

It'’s weird we Don'’t
have the same parents.

Are your twins as nice as mine?

Actually, our twins
turned out to be evil

which brings us to
another teeny thing

we have to tell you.

Zelda.

Sit down, dear.

You see, in all witch twins

one twin is evil, and
the other one is good

and, unfortunately, the
evil twin is not allowed

to live in the mortal realm.

Oh, no. Katrina
can'’t be the evil one.

Wait a minute. That would
mean i'’m the evil one.

She did leave the
pool boy a crummy tip.

I got this scar wrestling a
monkey at the county fair.

Sweet.

I got you beat.

Check out the one on my butt.

I Don'’t see a scar.

Don'’t have one,
but made you look.

[ Laughing]

Mrs. Kinkle: Oh, fiddlesticks.

Mom, what are you doing?

I'’m trying to get into
Lola'’s nesting box

but I think I need a bigger one.

Order on the beach!

In today'’s case

of Katrina v. Sabrina

the tribunal shall decide

which witch is the good witch

and which witch
is the evil witch.

Stop biting your nails.

I will if you stop
twirling your hair.

Question one: Sabrina...

[ barking]

Oh, hey, buddy.

Where'’s your tag? Are you lost?

What do you want to
be when you grow up?

Does this dog belong to anyone?

Sabrina, pay attention
to the question.

Sorry. What did you say?

I can'’t repeat the question.

Oh, then, um... yellow?

Katrina... what do you want
to be when you grow up?

Well, I like people and
animals, so i'’ll either be

a social worker
or a veterinarian.

[ Cheering]

Wrong.

Sabrina wins the
question portion.

You see

a good witch cares
more about living things

than about winning
points for herself.

Whoo-hoo!

I hated those trick questions.

I'’m so embarrassed.

I gave that round to Katrina.

Now, we shall randomly
review each witch'’s use of magic.

Was it for good?

Or was it for evil?

Roll the video tape.

[ Thunder rolling]

[ "A taste of honey"]

Not her best magic.

And who picked that music?

Dressing Harvey was good magic.

He looked like a
total dork before.

But I mean "dork" in
the best possible way.

You didn'’t dress
Harvey to help him.

You did it to win the contest.

Dressing Harvey was selfish!

The worst spellman family trait.

Now we shall
review Katrina'’s use

of magic.

I knew I should
have learned to cook.

Pies for the homeless...
How nutritious.

I think those children

were being read
to against their will.

So far, Sabrina has won

the q-and-a

and Katrina has
won the life review

but since this is a close call

I have one more question

which could make it

or break it for
either one of you.

May the best witch win.

Right back at you.

I would like each girl

to quickly tell the tribunal

how she used her magic
for good in the last 24 hours.

Oh, um, I, uh...

Made a pregnant
animal feel comfortable.

Katrina?

Anything?

Well, I, um... I
got us both dates.

Court'’s adjourned.

Last one to limbo
is a rotten egg.

Great. I'’m ahead.

Maybe i'’m not the
evil one after all.

Oh! Oh, this trial is
getting on my nerves.

I have a bigger headache
than uncle Danny

after he celebrates.

Well, another night of drinking.

Hello, Zelda.

Hello, uncle Danny.

There goes my car again.

I'’m good. I know I am.

Or am I?

I wonder if there'’s

a competent
therapist on this island.

[ Phone rings]

Hello.

Sabrina, we need you here now.

Harvey'’s mom'’s in
labor at the hospital.

And you need me to offer
hearty congratulations?

No, because when
the doctors listened

to her stomach they
heard a heartbeat

and something that
sounds like purring.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Looks like "inexact spell"

spellman has struck again.

I'’ll meet you at the hospital.

See? It goes down better the
second time, Don'’t you think?

I understand your
not stopping them

but did you have to scream
out, "more, more, she can take it"?

You think we should
check on Sabrina?

Oh, no.

No, let her relax.

Okay, I checked the magic book

and apparently, I transferred

Lola'’s discomfort onto the
nearest pregnant creature

Mrs. Kinkle.

Exactly. She'’s
about to have kittens

unless I get her
and Lola together

sprinkle them with
water and incant a spell.

So, do we give up now

or do we carry this
charade a bit longer?

Uh, excuse me.

I'’m looking for Mrs. Kinkle.

She'’s about to deliver.

Well, then I guess she might be

in the delivery room.

No need to be snotty.

That was evil. Don'’t
tell the witch judge.

[ Moaning]

Relax, ma.

They'’ll stick a
needle in your spine

and it'’ll be all better.

That didn'’t help, did it?

[ Panting]

Dr. Merchant

let'’s hear the fetal heartbeat

and the so-called purring.

[ Gasps]

Oh, my!

Is this what I think it is?

Yes. Barbecue sauce.

We had ribs for lunch, remember?

Right. Let'’s go wash up.

We'’ll be right back.

Harvey, get me a nutrageous bar.

I'’m on it, ma.

Uh, Mrs. Kinkle, holding a kitty

is the latest
relaxation technique

to ease contraction pains.

I'’d chew steel right now.

Please, make this work.

Mom, they didn'’t
have nutrageous

in the vending machine.

I had to get crackers.

Try the one in the basement

and take the stairs.

I'’m on it.

Well, this isn'’t going smoothly

and here come the doctors.

Uh, there was a
spell that went wrong.

Put these kitties back
where they belong.

All right, time to
deliver the baby.

Doctor, do you think

it'’s appropriate

to bring animals into
the delivery room?

Oh, you mean,
Dr. Fluffy from the hmo?

Whew! I'’m glad I was
able to fix that little glitch.

Helping Lola'’s the magic
that'’s going to tip me off

into the good witch category.

I hate to burst your bubble

but didn'’t you help Lola

just so i'’d help
you with the clue?

Oh, no. You'’re right.

And that was selfish
and being selfish is

spellman'’s worst trait.

I'’m evil!

And doomed.

Do either of you have
a candy bar on you?!

I can'’t find the basement.

Sabrina?

Hi, Harvey.

Aren'’t you supposed
to be in Hawaii

without a mustache?

Oh, right. Tailwinds?

Look, Harvey, there'’s
something I have to tell you.

I probably won'’t be
able to see you anymore.

Why?

Because I won'’t be allowed
to live in... westbridge.

We'’re just so
crazy about Hawaii

we'’re moving there.

Well, what am I going
to do without you?

Mr. Kinkle, your
mother'’s asking for you.

It turns out the
purring was just a glitch

on the sonogram.

Sabrina, I...

Mrs. Kinkle: Harvey!

Please, Don'’t go?

I'’ll miss you.

Me, too.

[ Sobbing]

Me three.

That reminds me. I have to
get rid of that Dr. Doolittle spell.

Why? Just because you'’re evil

doesn'’t mean I
shouldn'’t continue

my friendship with Harvey.

Sabrina: Well, i'’m a wreck.

Oh, now, now, dear.

Just because your
spell was selfish...

and involved civil
disobedience...

and was very messy

doesn'’t mean
you'’re the evil twin.

Judge: Order on the sand!

Since Sabrina'’s "helping a
pregnant cat" spell was selfish

involved civil disobedience
and was extremely messy

the evil twin is...

Sabrina spellman.

Great, I finally win something.

Why are we on a volcano?

I thought I just couldn'’t
live in the mortal realm.

Well, actually,
dear, you can'’t live

in the mortal realm
or the other realm.

We didn'’t want to worry you.

And besides, I never
thought you'’d turn out

to be the evil one.

Especially when you turned
out to be the good one.

Well, it was nice
getting to know you.

Good luck with the
rest of your future. Sorry.

What does she mean by that?

Evil twins are thrown
into the volcano.

Oh. To prove that they'’re brave

and then they'’ll
be welcomed back

into the bosom of their family?

Not exactly. Zelda?

You see, Sabrina

lava is the only
substance that can...

Oh, i'’m sorry.

Lava is the only substance
that can destroy a witch.

Get me the a.C.L.U.

At this time, the good
twin shall push the evil twin

into the volcano.

Okeydokey.

[ Gasps]

Oh, no!

Hilda: She didn'’t!

Why did you push
Sabrina into the volcano?

Because you told me to. Duh.

But no good witches
ever had the heart

to do away with their evil twin.

Although, one hilda
spellman did come very close.

This proves Katrina
is the evil twin.

[ Phone rings]

Great. With my luck,
it'’s a telemarketer.

Yes?

Good news. Mrs. Kinkle
delivered a healthy baby girl

and Lola had
five little kittens.

Isn'’t it wonderful?

Uh-huh.

What'’s that loud noise
in the background?

Oh, that'’d be hot, molten lava.

I'’m going to have
to get back to you.

Sabrina, we'’ve got
good news for a change.

You'’re not the evil twin.

Now you tell me!

Oh, man, have you ever tried

to wash volcanic
ash out of your hair?

No, but I came really close

as the witch judge pointed out

to practically
everyone in Hawaii.

So, what happened to Katrina?

She was sent to
live in the twin cities

in the other realm.

That'’s where all the evil
twins go after the volcano test.

I thought evil twins died.

No one'’s actually ever
thrown to their death

during the volcano test.

Well, except for you.

Well, we all have
our 15 minutes.

Oh!

[ Coughing]

Woo!

Ooh!

Well, here it is.

Your official witches license.

It will give you more power
than you ever dreamed possible.

But be careful.

It can also cause more trouble

than you ever dreamed possible.

Just ask hilda.

Not all tsunamis are bad.

Zelda: And now

we have one final
lesson for you.

Well, this seems a
tad anticlimactic now.

Oh, your skirt'’s on fire.

They'’re names are Groucho,
Harpo, chico, zeppo and pepe.

"Pepe"? What
happened to "gummo"?

Gummo was my father'’s name.

Hey, chocolate cigars
to celebrate the birth

of my new baby sister, oona.

Oona kinkle. I hope
she'’s good-looking.

I have a big favor to ask you.

Can I take Lola and
the kittens home?

Oona stops crying
when there'’s meowing

but it'’s making me hoarse.

They'’re all yours.

Meow!

Oh, but can Salem come visit

every other weekend?

Sure. That way we can
watch robocoptogether.

Why did I say that?

'’cause you'’re sleep-deprived.

Right. I better get home.

I'’ll come back for Lola.

I'’m so glad you'’re
not leaving after all.

Me, too.

Are you okay?

Sure. I mean, we knew
we couldn'’t keep them

it'’s just that i'’m feeling
a little postpartum.

[ Sobbing]

I could use a vacation.

How about Maui?