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1
00:00:02,793 --> 00:00:04,424
Hilda, this kitten could
use some mittens.
2
00:00:04,448 --> 00:00:05,379
I made you a turtleneck
3
00:00:05,448 --> 00:00:06,562
and you haven'’t worn it once.
4
00:00:06,586 --> 00:00:07,862
I love that sweater.
5
00:00:07,931 --> 00:00:09,655
I shredded it in
less than an hour.
6
00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:11,793
I can'’t get through
wuthering heights.
7
00:00:11,862 --> 00:00:13,862
Can someone please
tell me what happens
8
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,551
so I can write my book report?
9
00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:17,310
Oh, honey, Don'’t
take a shortcut.
10
00:00:17,379 --> 00:00:19,034
You need to discover the love
11
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,827
between Catherine and heathcliff
12
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,517
on your own. You'’re right.
13
00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:23,586
Aunt hilda?
14
00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:24,689
Sorry. Never read it.
15
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,034
Emily bronte bugged me.
16
00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:27,517
She was in my English class
17
00:00:27,586 --> 00:00:29,724
and she always thought
she was sobrilliant.
18
00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,482
I know a way I can find out
19
00:00:31,551 --> 00:00:33,379
on my own.
20
00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:34,620
Take me into the book.
21
00:00:34,689 --> 00:00:36,862
Knowing what happens
would be heaven,
22
00:00:36,931 --> 00:00:38,275
flip ahead to page 211.
23
00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:43,896
Heathcliff! Heathcliff!
24
00:00:43,965 --> 00:00:46,758
Dang, these moors are cold.
25
00:00:46,827 --> 00:00:49,068
All right.
26
00:00:49,137 --> 00:00:51,241
You'’re right. I'’ll
read the book.
27
00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:54,068
I tried to warn
you... No shortcuts.
28
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,448
Did heathcliff ask about me?
29
00:01:12,793 --> 00:01:15,689
Remember, only you
can prevent laughter.
30
00:01:19,827 --> 00:01:22,310
Oh, stupid crossword puzzle!
31
00:01:22,379 --> 00:01:24,310
This is not going
to turn out ugly
32
00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:26,482
like that tic-tac-toe
incident, is it?
33
00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:28,068
You know, despite
my dating history
34
00:01:28,137 --> 00:01:30,000
I can'’t think of a
word for a male Turkey.
35
00:01:30,068 --> 00:01:31,137
Coffee!
36
00:01:31,206 --> 00:01:32,896
No, something
with three letters.
37
00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:35,448
I stayed up all night
finishing my book report...
38
00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:36,793
Without any shortcuts.
39
00:01:36,862 --> 00:01:37,965
Good girl.
40
00:01:38,034 --> 00:01:39,137
[ Rubbery squeaking]
41
00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:41,551
I know i'’m sleep-deprived
42
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:44,103
but is aunt hilda cleaning
her ears with rope?
43
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,034
It'’s "mental floss";
It clears your mind.
44
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:48,689
Plus, gives you a quick
burst of temporary knowledge.
45
00:01:48,758 --> 00:01:50,896
Ew! I wish you'’d
do that in private.
46
00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:53,137
Of course. A male
Turkey is a Tom.
47
00:01:53,206 --> 00:01:54,931
Thank you, mental floss.
48
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,068
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I
believe that is a shortcut.
49
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:58,827
Technically, yes,
but it gives your mind
50
00:01:58,896 --> 00:01:59,896
a minty fresh feeling.
51
00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:01,965
[ Marching band music playing ]
52
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,689
Did Salem join a marching band?
53
00:02:03,758 --> 00:02:05,137
Anything'’s possible.
54
00:02:05,206 --> 00:02:07,965
Yesterday, he wanted to
be a June Taylor dancer.
55
00:02:08,034 --> 00:02:11,793
It'’s election time
in the other realm!
56
00:02:13,862 --> 00:02:17,000
I want youto vote.
57
00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:20,034
I want you to stop calling me.
58
00:02:20,103 --> 00:02:21,310
Was that uncle Sam?
59
00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:24,172
Uh, in the other realm,
he'’s known as uncle Roy.
60
00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:25,689
We'’re not sure why.
61
00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:28,034
Hey! There'’s a proposition
that would make it legal
62
00:02:28,103 --> 00:02:30,206
to tell your mortal
boyfriend about your magic.
63
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,000
It'’s too bad i'’m not
old enough to vote.
64
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,172
Oh, honey, you are.
65
00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:35,000
In the other realm,
the voting age is 17.
66
00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:36,827
Really? I feel so grown-up.
67
00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:40,379
[ Singsongy]: I get to vote.
68
00:02:40,448 --> 00:02:41,655
And I Don'’t.
69
00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:43,758
Salem, you'’re a
convicted felon.
70
00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:45,862
Not to mention a cat.
71
00:02:45,931 --> 00:02:47,482
But I wanted to vote
72
00:02:47,551 --> 00:02:50,965
to change the pronunciation
of Friday to "fridyah."
73
00:02:51,034 --> 00:02:52,689
Hey, if this boyfriend
proposition passes
74
00:02:52,758 --> 00:02:54,068
I could tell Harvey everything.
75
00:02:54,137 --> 00:02:55,482
Well, except for the fact
76
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,965
that I Don'’t really care
that Michael Jordan retired.
77
00:02:58,034 --> 00:03:00,586
And I can tell my honey,
Hank, that i'’m a witch.
78
00:03:00,655 --> 00:03:02,482
Your first date'’s
not until tonight.
79
00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:03,724
He'’s already your honey?
80
00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:05,586
It'’s called optimism.
81
00:03:05,655 --> 00:03:06,931
Look, there'’s an orientation
82
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,655
this afternoon for
first-time voters.
83
00:03:08,724 --> 00:03:09,655
I get to choose
84
00:03:09,724 --> 00:03:10,758
a political party.
85
00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:12,448
Oh, well, I hope
you'’ll join mine...
86
00:03:12,517 --> 00:03:14,413
The social Democratic
do-gooder party.
87
00:03:14,482 --> 00:03:15,482
No, join my party.
88
00:03:15,551 --> 00:03:16,965
It'’s called the party party.
89
00:03:17,034 --> 00:03:18,241
Our slogan is "party!"
90
00:03:20,344 --> 00:03:21,275
Will you help me?
91
00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:22,793
I'’m not a very good seamstress.
92
00:03:22,862 --> 00:03:24,689
Well, then it was
kind of an odd choice
93
00:03:24,758 --> 00:03:27,000
for you to volunteer for
the costume committee.
94
00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:28,241
It'’s for the church play.
95
00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,344
It'’s the lord'’s work.
96
00:03:29,413 --> 00:03:31,206
Okay, well, i'’m busy
after school today
97
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:33,241
but I can help you
and the lord tomorrow.
98
00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:34,896
Yes. Your girlfriend is a Saint.
99
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,275
Are you tired from working
100
00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:37,620
on your book report, too?
101
00:03:37,689 --> 00:03:39,241
No. For once I finished early.
102
00:03:39,310 --> 00:03:40,689
I'’m tired because...
103
00:03:40,758 --> 00:03:42,241
My mom'’s in
her third trimester,
104
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:44,241
the baby'’s pushing
against her bladder
105
00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:46,896
and the toilet flushing is
keeping me up all night.
106
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,148
Well, I thought you made a bed
107
00:03:48,172 --> 00:03:49,596
out of fertilizer
bags in the garage.
108
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,000
I did. My dad'’s using it.
109
00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:55,793
You know, I can
tell you anything.
110
00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:58,241
I hope you feel the same way.
111
00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:00,931
I will... very soon.
112
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,965
All right, everybody,
take a seat
113
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,275
so we can talk about the issues.
114
00:04:05,344 --> 00:04:06,689
I assume that everyone here
115
00:04:06,758 --> 00:04:08,413
has figured out
your family secret.
116
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,241
What?
117
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,620
Because, as absolutely
everyone knows,
118
00:04:12,689 --> 00:04:15,206
if you haven'’t solved
your family secret
119
00:04:15,275 --> 00:04:16,206
you can'’t vote.
120
00:04:16,275 --> 00:04:18,310
What?!
121
00:04:18,379 --> 00:04:20,517
So, just as a formality,
let'’s have a show of hands.
122
00:04:20,586 --> 00:04:21,517
Those who have...
123
00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:23,586
And those who haven'’t.
124
00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:28,310
Oh, come on, I
can'’t be the only one.
125
00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:29,896
I'’ve just about got it.
126
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,448
I'’ve started taking
ginkoba. Want some?
127
00:04:32,517 --> 00:04:33,896
No.
128
00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:35,931
Are they chewable?
129
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,010
Zellie, will you do my hair?
When we were young girls
130
00:04:38,034 --> 00:04:40,217
in our early hundreds, I
always like the way you fixed it.
131
00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:42,000
Oh, all right.
132
00:04:42,068 --> 00:04:44,965
Oh, I haven'’t worn this
since I was almost beheaded.
133
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,241
Sabrina: Why didn'’t
you guys tell me
134
00:04:47,310 --> 00:04:50,517
you have to solve your family
secret before you can vote?
135
00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:51,896
Well, that'’s new.
136
00:04:51,965 --> 00:04:53,838
You used to only have to
know how to work a toaster.
137
00:04:53,862 --> 00:04:55,724
What a surprise...
138
00:04:55,793 --> 00:04:57,862
A witch rule that works
to my disadvantage.
139
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,275
Sabrina, Don'’t worry.
140
00:04:59,344 --> 00:05:01,793
You'’ll figure out the
family secret in time to vote.
141
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,482
How many clues have you solved?
142
00:05:03,551 --> 00:05:06,137
Wait a minute
while I add them up.
143
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:07,793
One.
144
00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:09,965
Sabrina, I had no
idea you were so slow.
145
00:05:10,034 --> 00:05:11,068
I mean, um...
146
00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:12,482
Behind.
147
00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:14,517
I think you could use a tutor.
148
00:05:14,586 --> 00:05:16,172
Well, that'’s not a bad idea.
149
00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:18,137
I'’m really ready
to buckle down.
150
00:05:18,206 --> 00:05:19,620
Bring on a professional.
151
00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:22,137
Hello, i'’m Mr. Saberhagen
152
00:05:22,206 --> 00:05:26,206
and you may refer to
me as Mr. Saberhagen.
153
00:05:26,275 --> 00:05:28,241
How did I end up
with you as my tutor?
154
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:29,793
Hey, I solved my family secret
155
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:30,965
with only two clues.
156
00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:33,655
Now, let'’s turn to
the puzzle board.
157
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,379
Let'’s remove the dirty clothes
158
00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:36,689
from the puzzle board.
159
00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:38,793
That'’s not a
stairmaster, young lady.
160
00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:43,517
Okay, well I know
this clue... Spellman...
161
00:05:43,586 --> 00:05:45,896
So the family secret
must be about us.
162
00:05:45,965 --> 00:05:48,931
Look out, Harvard. Let'’s begin
at the beginning. First clue...
163
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,034
What is it?
164
00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:53,896
Chickens? Do they
look like chickens?
165
00:05:53,965 --> 00:05:55,310
Next clue.
166
00:05:55,379 --> 00:05:56,620
Okay.
167
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,482
"M," plus a picture of fire.
168
00:05:58,551 --> 00:06:00,206
"M" plus fire...
169
00:06:00,275 --> 00:06:02,448
I'’ve got it! M'’fire.
170
00:06:02,517 --> 00:06:04,724
Right, m'’fire. That
makes so much sense.
171
00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:06,275
Let'’s use it in a sentence.
172
00:06:06,344 --> 00:06:08,172
Run, run, the
house is on m'’fire.
173
00:06:08,241 --> 00:06:09,689
I'’ve got a better one.
174
00:06:09,758 --> 00:06:10,793
You'’re m'’fired.
175
00:06:10,862 --> 00:06:12,379
You can'’t m'’fire me.
176
00:06:12,448 --> 00:06:13,517
I m'’quit.
177
00:06:16,137 --> 00:06:17,551
[ Soft ping]
178
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:19,655
Oh, more campaign flyers.
179
00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:22,034
Yes, i'’m definitely voting
to save the magical ping.
180
00:06:22,103 --> 00:06:23,655
Who'’d want to
change it to a ding?
181
00:06:23,724 --> 00:06:24,965
Me. I'’m sick of the ping.
182
00:06:25,034 --> 00:06:26,275
I'’d love to hear a ding.
183
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,620
But a ping has such a ring.
184
00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:28,689
But the ding has zing.
185
00:06:28,758 --> 00:06:30,827
I can'’t discuss
politics with you.
186
00:06:32,965 --> 00:06:35,448
So, Hank, tell me about you.
187
00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:36,551
Well, let'’s see...
188
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:37,724
I collect jaguars.
189
00:06:37,793 --> 00:06:38,827
Jaguars?
190
00:06:38,896 --> 00:06:40,413
Be right back.
191
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:41,827
Sure... foxy lady.
192
00:06:45,034 --> 00:06:47,310
[ Rubbery squeaking]
193
00:06:47,379 --> 00:06:50,310
All right, okay, what
were we talking about?
194
00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,517
Oh, yes, jaguars.
195
00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:54,551
Do you know that my
favorite is the vicarage
196
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:55,931
with the 3.4 liter xk engine
197
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,275
with four-speed transmission
and electric overdrive...
198
00:06:58,344 --> 00:06:59,344
Hilda...
199
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:02,344
I collect jaguars, as in cats.
200
00:07:02,413 --> 00:07:05,034
Oh, be right back.
201
00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:08,379
Oh... I guess I have to go
back to Salem and grovel.
202
00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:11,413
Ooh, a brain teaser.
203
00:07:11,482 --> 00:07:12,482
Heart minus "l"?
204
00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:13,655
Heart means "love"
205
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,413
and love minus
the "l" would be "of."
206
00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:19,000
Ah, I guess my
groveling days are over.
207
00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:21,241
Mrs. Quick, I was just wondering
208
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,586
how you solved
that clue so fast.
209
00:07:23,655 --> 00:07:26,379
Well, actually...
210
00:07:26,448 --> 00:07:27,931
I'’m addicted to game shows.
211
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,379
Well, at least it'’s legal.
212
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,206
I went to a 12-step
meeting for help.
213
00:07:31,275 --> 00:07:33,827
It was fun. They give you
clues and you had to solve
214
00:07:33,896 --> 00:07:35,689
when and where the
meetings were held.
215
00:07:35,758 --> 00:07:37,758
It wasn'’t the best
way to kick the habit.
216
00:07:37,827 --> 00:07:40,206
Oh, well, i'’ve got this
new game at home.
217
00:07:40,275 --> 00:07:41,872
It'’s called, um, "guess
the family secret."
218
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,079
You want to come
over and try it?
219
00:07:43,103 --> 00:07:44,724
Oh, I really shouldn'’t.
220
00:07:44,793 --> 00:07:47,448
It'’s been a long, hard
road staying clean.
221
00:07:47,517 --> 00:07:50,482
Oh, well, come on. You can
always be a social game player.
222
00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:53,241
Well, I usually watch
little housereruns
223
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:55,482
after school, but...
what the heck.
224
00:07:55,551 --> 00:07:57,137
I have them all on DVD.
225
00:07:58,586 --> 00:08:00,626
Hey, Sabrina, you ready to
help me with my costumes?
226
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,344
Oh, no, I totally forgot.
227
00:08:02,413 --> 00:08:03,655
I made other plans.
228
00:08:03,724 --> 00:08:04,827
Oh, okay, Sabrina
229
00:08:04,896 --> 00:08:06,310
i'’ll meet you at your house.
230
00:08:06,379 --> 00:08:08,413
I can'’t wait to see
your new game.
231
00:08:08,482 --> 00:08:10,896
You'’re having Mrs.
Quick over to play?
232
00:08:10,965 --> 00:08:13,827
Harvey! You'’d do
anything for me, right?
233
00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:15,965
I'’m not feathering
my hair again.
234
00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:18,517
No, I want you to help
Valerie out with her costumes.
235
00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:20,517
What can I do?
236
00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:26,137
I am not going to twirl.
237
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,655
TV announcer: Vote
"yes" on prop 2,000,002.
238
00:08:28,724 --> 00:08:31,482
It'’s time to stop the growing
abuse of mental floss.
239
00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:33,206
Paid for by the witches
who want to stop
240
00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:34,724
the growing abuse
of mental floss.
241
00:08:34,793 --> 00:08:36,413
That'’s ridiculous.
That'’ll never pass.
242
00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:38,931
It will if I have
something to say about it.
243
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,206
Mental floss
encourages lazy habits
244
00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:44,068
and even yourmind is
a terrible thing to waste.
245
00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:46,827
I'’m going right now to
campaign for the cause.
246
00:08:46,896 --> 00:08:48,896
It is every witch'’s
right to floss
247
00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:50,793
and I will fight for that right
248
00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,586
with every fiber of my being.
249
00:08:52,655 --> 00:08:54,689
But first, another
date with Hank.
250
00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:55,896
Mmm.
251
00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:57,517
Salem, are my aunts home?
252
00:08:57,586 --> 00:08:59,931
Hilda and Zelda
have left the building.
253
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,517
Excellent. Keep watching
254
00:09:01,586 --> 00:09:03,103
and warn me if they come home.
255
00:09:03,172 --> 00:09:04,965
Ooh! Throwing a crazy party
256
00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:07,758
complete with trash can
punch and spit-swapping?
257
00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:10,241
No, i'’m having my
algebra teacher over.
258
00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:13,586
Yeah, right. How
pathetic would that be?
259
00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:15,000
Oh, you'’re serious.
260
00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:16,310
Yoo-hoo.
261
00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,517
Oh, come on in.
262
00:09:18,586 --> 00:09:19,862
A cat...
263
00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:22,551
Eating a banana.
264
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:24,275
How strange.
265
00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:26,103
Oh, he'’s part chimp
on his mother'’s side.
266
00:09:26,172 --> 00:09:27,689
Wait here. I'’ll go
set up the game.
267
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:32,655
Announcer: Mrs.
Quick, come on down.
268
00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:38,103
Oh, this is the best
at-home version
269
00:09:38,172 --> 00:09:39,413
i'’ve ever seen.
270
00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:40,931
Okay, well, let'’s take
271
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,862
our places and get started.
272
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:44,827
Is this a genuine
goodson-todman buzzer?
273
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:46,172
Let'’s get started.
274
00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:48,241
We Don'’t know how
much time we'’ve got.
275
00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:50,586
Look at the microphone.
276
00:09:50,655 --> 00:09:52,310
Look at my name.
277
00:09:52,379 --> 00:09:53,517
Look at the clues.
278
00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:55,827
There'’s even a
glass of water...
279
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:56,896
Neat.
280
00:09:56,931 --> 00:09:58,965
I'’ve got to move things along.
281
00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:00,413
Announcer: And
here'’s our host...
282
00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:01,482
Monty hall.
283
00:10:02,793 --> 00:10:04,689
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
284
00:10:04,758 --> 00:10:08,000
Monty hall?!
285
00:10:08,068 --> 00:10:09,206
If you pay a little extra.
286
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,275
Oh!
287
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,137
It'’s time to guess
the family secret.
288
00:10:13,206 --> 00:10:14,517
Let'’s solve the puzzle
289
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:16,413
but before we do, a
word with our contestants.
290
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,724
Uh, Mrs. Quick, tell us
something about yourself.
291
00:10:18,793 --> 00:10:21,241
Well, I was born in
terre haute, Indiana,
292
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:23,896
and a lot of people
Don'’t know this, monty,
293
00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:27,310
but it'’s the stewed-fruit
capital of the United States.
294
00:10:27,379 --> 00:10:29,172
Yeah, yeah, yeah... first clue.
295
00:10:29,241 --> 00:10:30,344
Look, I didn'’t take that
296
00:10:30,413 --> 00:10:31,965
from little old ladies
in chicken suits
297
00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:32,965
so i'’m not going
298
00:10:33,034 --> 00:10:34,310
to take it from you.
299
00:10:34,379 --> 00:10:36,310
All right, first clue. Sabrina?
300
00:10:36,379 --> 00:10:38,137
Pass.
301
00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:39,206
Oh.
302
00:10:39,241 --> 00:10:40,689
Mmm, birds in a house...
303
00:10:40,758 --> 00:10:42,586
Birdhouse would be too obvious.
304
00:10:42,655 --> 00:10:44,310
So, what else do you call that?
305
00:10:44,379 --> 00:10:45,310
Oh, an aviary.
306
00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:46,172
Aviary?
307
00:10:46,241 --> 00:10:47,344
Yeah, but aviary
308
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:48,862
doesn'’t make any sense
309
00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:51,068
so it must be a word
that sounds like aviary.
310
00:10:51,137 --> 00:10:52,413
Oh! "Every."
311
00:10:52,482 --> 00:10:53,172
[ Bell dings]
312
00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:55,689
[ Laughing]
313
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:57,517
All right, next
clue now. Sabrina?
314
00:10:57,586 --> 00:10:59,068
Pass.
315
00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:00,137
Oh...
316
00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:01,517
Uh, let me see.
317
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:03,379
"M" plus fire
318
00:11:03,448 --> 00:11:04,862
eq...
319
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,620
Sabrina...
320
00:11:06,689 --> 00:11:08,965
Aunt Zelda! Uh,
you'’re just in time
321
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:10,482
for the bonus round.
322
00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:14,655
Well, can'’t we finish the game?
323
00:11:14,724 --> 00:11:16,241
I'’ve got the fever. I'’m hot!
324
00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:20,724
Okay, well, i'’ll just get
started on that novel.
325
00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:21,931
Sabrina?
326
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,517
What were you thinking?
327
00:11:23,586 --> 00:11:26,310
That I could avoid this ugly
scene that'’s about to happen.
328
00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:29,344
Sabrina, using a shortcut
to solve your family secret
329
00:11:29,413 --> 00:11:31,103
can have serious consequences.
330
00:11:31,172 --> 00:11:33,034
I just want to be able to vote.
331
00:11:33,103 --> 00:11:35,034
And Mrs. Quick is really lonely.
332
00:11:35,103 --> 00:11:37,344
You leave me no
choice but to punish you.
333
00:11:37,413 --> 00:11:39,379
To learn the error of her ways,
334
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:42,931
no shortcuts for one... days.
335
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,793
And might I say, nice rhyme.
336
00:11:44,862 --> 00:11:47,172
That means no modern
conveniences for 24 hours.
337
00:11:47,241 --> 00:11:49,241
And if you try
something like this again
338
00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:51,034
the witches'’
council will intervene
339
00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:53,103
and they'’re a lot
more strict than I am.
340
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,241
Now clean up this mess.
341
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:58,689
And I was hoping family
secretwould go into syndication.
342
00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:02,068
Sabrina! Wake up!
343
00:12:02,137 --> 00:12:04,275
Come on! Shake a leg!
344
00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:06,344
If I continue with this shiatsu
345
00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:07,896
you'’ll have to pay me.
346
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,517
[ Grunts]
347
00:12:09,586 --> 00:12:11,137
It'’s so late!
348
00:12:11,206 --> 00:12:12,965
How come my
alarm didn'’t go off?
349
00:12:13,034 --> 00:12:14,379
I believe an alarm clock
350
00:12:14,448 --> 00:12:17,000
would go under the umbrella
of modern conveniences.
351
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:18,724
Oh, so apparently
our forefathers
352
00:12:18,793 --> 00:12:20,068
were late for everything?
353
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:24,793
[ Scoffs]
354
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:26,827
They'’ve had hair
dryers since the '’70s.
355
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,448
They'’re not modern.
356
00:12:28,517 --> 00:12:30,000
I'’m late! I'’m late!
357
00:12:33,689 --> 00:12:36,482
I'’m beginning to
see a pattern here.
358
00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:39,724
Sorry.
359
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:45,282
Hey, why weren'’t you
on the bus this morning?
360
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:47,758
It'’s a modern convenience
and i'’m against them
361
00:12:47,827 --> 00:12:49,241
and for solar energy.
362
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,586
Everybody with me?
363
00:12:50,655 --> 00:12:53,034
Sabrina, this is a very
complicated equation
364
00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:55,551
so i'’m allowing the
use of calculators.
365
00:12:55,620 --> 00:12:57,517
Oh... great.
366
00:13:00,103 --> 00:13:01,448
[ Exasperated sigh]
367
00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:03,620
It'’s a good thing I
Don'’t have a pacemaker.
368
00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:05,489
You know, i'’m still not
happy with the dress.
369
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:06,482
The bodice isn'’t right.
370
00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:07,586
You'’re telling me.
371
00:13:07,655 --> 00:13:09,172
I look like a house in it.
372
00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:11,310
I need you for one
more fitting. Please?
373
00:13:11,379 --> 00:13:12,724
I can'’t. I have plans
374
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,137
and they all involve
me wearing pants.
375
00:13:15,206 --> 00:13:18,241
Hey, Sabrina, after
school, are we still on
376
00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,896
for the slicery and pinball?
377
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,379
I can'’t. Too modern.
378
00:13:21,448 --> 00:13:23,413
How about a rousing
game of mahjong?
379
00:13:23,482 --> 00:13:25,242
What'’s this new
anti-modern kick you'’re on?
380
00:13:25,275 --> 00:13:26,689
Oh, if you call being concerned
381
00:13:26,758 --> 00:13:28,413
about this planet we
call home a "kick..."
382
00:13:28,482 --> 00:13:29,586
Now, if you'’ll excuse me
383
00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:31,344
I have to find a
buggy heading uptown.
384
00:13:31,413 --> 00:13:33,275
You know, sometimes
I get the feeling
385
00:13:33,344 --> 00:13:35,137
Sabrina doesn'’t
tell me everything.
386
00:13:35,206 --> 00:13:38,586
Well, since you Don'’t have
anything to do after school...
387
00:13:43,517 --> 00:13:45,862
I need to learn how to say no.
388
00:13:45,931 --> 00:13:47,517
Sabrina, I need
to speak with you.
389
00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:51,137
Uh... i'’m still working
on that algebra equation.
390
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,620
Oh, who cares about that?
391
00:13:52,689 --> 00:13:55,068
I was up half the night
working on the second clue
392
00:13:55,137 --> 00:13:56,217
to the "family secret" game.
393
00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:57,344
Really? I Don'’t want
394
00:13:57,413 --> 00:13:58,655
to talk about it.
395
00:13:58,724 --> 00:14:00,793
It was a real stumper,
but I think i'’ve got it.
396
00:14:00,862 --> 00:14:02,206
No, I need to solve it myself.
397
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,379
I Don'’t want to hear it.
398
00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:04,448
But... but...
399
00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:06,448
But it'’s all right here.
400
00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:07,620
I can'’t see!
401
00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:09,137
Oh... then I guess
402
00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:10,793
you Don'’twant to know.
403
00:14:10,862 --> 00:14:14,482
Right. I Don'’t want to know.
404
00:14:21,896 --> 00:14:25,413
Booming voice: No shortcuts!
405
00:14:25,482 --> 00:14:27,896
Oh, this can'’t be good.
406
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:30,482
Apparently, i'’m
on the lone prairie.
407
00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:31,758
Maybe it'’s not so lone.
408
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,448
Mrs. Quick?
409
00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:35,724
Oh, no, I guess she
was an accomplice.
410
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:38,310
Sabrina... what
are you doing here?
411
00:14:38,379 --> 00:14:41,103
Aren'’t you wondering
what you'’redoing here?
412
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,931
I'’m dreamin'’.
413
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,793
This is one of my favorites.
414
00:14:44,862 --> 00:14:47,068
Michael Landon should
be along any minute.
415
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,103
I'’m here at election
headquarters
416
00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:52,137
where a very heated debate
has erupted over mental floss.
417
00:14:52,206 --> 00:14:54,931
Now, arguing in favor of
flossing is hilda spellman.
418
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,206
Hilda spellman has
gone on record as saying
419
00:14:57,275 --> 00:14:58,896
"a vote against mental floss
420
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:01,068
would be a vote
against family values."
421
00:15:01,137 --> 00:15:03,689
Interestingly enough,
arguing for the opposition
422
00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:06,034
is her sister, Zelda
spellman. Now, Zelda...
423
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:07,103
Uncle Roy! Uncle Roy!
424
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:08,655
Please, could we have a word?
425
00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:10,448
What is your
take on all of this?
426
00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:11,827
This mental floss debate
427
00:15:11,896 --> 00:15:13,862
has turned into a
smear campaign.
428
00:15:13,931 --> 00:15:16,758
I'’ve never seen so much
mudslinging in my life.
429
00:15:16,827 --> 00:15:19,413
Zelda: Hilda, using mental
floss is a crime against nature!
430
00:15:19,482 --> 00:15:22,448
Hilda: Get your knee
out of my spine! Ow!
431
00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:24,068
[ Gasping]
432
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:25,137
Oh, good, you'’re up.
433
00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:26,596
What'’s the quickest
way out of here?
434
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,482
If you'’re looking
for a shortcut,
435
00:15:28,551 --> 00:15:29,827
I Don'’t know any.
436
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,517
Oh, no shortcuts.
437
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:34,137
So, i'’ve been
sent to the prairie
438
00:15:34,206 --> 00:15:36,206
because back then,
shortcuts didn'’t exist.
439
00:15:36,275 --> 00:15:37,793
Are you here to explain things?
440
00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:40,034
Well, I am a guide.
441
00:15:40,103 --> 00:15:42,000
Have you got anything to eat?
442
00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:43,724
Oh, you want
something to eat. I get it.
443
00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:45,724
So i'’m supposed to make
something from scratch
444
00:15:45,793 --> 00:15:48,172
without using shortcuts and
then my punishment will be over.
445
00:15:48,241 --> 00:15:49,517
I'’ll be zapped back, right?
446
00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:52,965
I'’m a little deaf,
so let'’s go with yes.
447
00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:56,206
You know, these dirt floors
are really hard to get clean.
448
00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:58,137
Mrs. Quick?
449
00:15:58,206 --> 00:16:00,137
I am going to make bread
and butter from scratch.
450
00:16:00,206 --> 00:16:04,103
Oh, that'’s not how my
dream usually goes, but... okay.
451
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,068
[ Up-tempo country
song playing ]
452
00:16:17,965 --> 00:16:21,206
♪ Ooh...
453
00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:26,275
♪ I keep livin'’ and lovin'’
and learnin'’ the hard way ♪
454
00:16:26,344 --> 00:16:29,931
♪ you'’re the hardest
lesson, baby, of my life ♪
455
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:34,724
♪ I keep livin'’ and lovin'’
and learnin'’ the hard way ♪
456
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:38,000
♪ someday, baby, I...
457
00:16:38,068 --> 00:16:43,413
♪ I keep livin'’ and lovin'’
and learnin'’ the hard way ♪
458
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:46,862
♪ you'’re the hardest
lesson, baby, of my life ♪
459
00:16:46,931 --> 00:16:52,034
♪ I keep livin'’ and lovin'’
and learnin'’ the hard way ♪
460
00:16:52,103 --> 00:16:56,827
♪ someday, baby,
I will get it right ♪
461
00:16:56,896 --> 00:17:00,379
♪ livin'’ and lovin'’
the hard way ♪
462
00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:04,206
♪ you'’re the hardest
lesson, oh, baby, of my life... ♪
463
00:17:04,275 --> 00:17:06,965
Okay, I made homemade
bread and butter
464
00:17:07,034 --> 00:17:08,965
with no shortcuts.
465
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:10,793
We'’re about to
be sent back home.
466
00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:13,448
This is mydream and
i'’m notreadyto go home.
467
00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:15,793
You know, Sabrina,
you'’re kind of bossy.
468
00:17:15,862 --> 00:17:17,862
This bread'’s got dirt on it.
469
00:17:17,931 --> 00:17:18,793
Just eat it.
470
00:17:18,862 --> 00:17:20,517
This is exactly what
471
00:17:20,586 --> 00:17:22,034
i'’m talking about.
472
00:17:22,103 --> 00:17:23,137
Well?
473
00:17:23,206 --> 00:17:24,862
Thank you.
474
00:17:26,724 --> 00:17:28,620
That... that should have worked!
475
00:17:28,689 --> 00:17:30,448
Oh!
476
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:33,241
Stupid embers.
477
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:37,413
Hey... that clue wasn'’t
fire, it was Ember.
478
00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:40,241
"M" plus "Ember"
equals "member."
479
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,793
That'’s really good, Sabrina.
480
00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:44,103
That makes much more
sense than what I had.
481
00:17:44,172 --> 00:17:46,206
"M'’fire."
482
00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,931
Okay...
483
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,758
I figured it out by myself.
484
00:17:49,827 --> 00:17:52,344
We'’re ready to go.
485
00:17:52,413 --> 00:17:54,206
Big nothing.
486
00:17:54,275 --> 00:17:56,068
Valerie?
487
00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:59,000
I'’ve never dreamed
about twostudents before.
488
00:17:59,068 --> 00:18:01,827
Sabrina, you decided
to help out after all.
489
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:03,656
Isn'’t this a cool place
for our church play?
490
00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:05,551
"Prayer-ee days"?
491
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,344
Is Michael Landon with you?
492
00:18:07,413 --> 00:18:09,586
This authentic log cabin is
493
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,620
westbridge'’s only
historical monument...
494
00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:13,965
Unless you count me.
495
00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:15,551
He'’s a tour guide?
496
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,862
I'’ve been in westbridge
this whole time?
497
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,862
I could'’ve just walked home.
498
00:18:19,931 --> 00:18:22,275
What do you and
Mrs. Quick talk about?
499
00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:27,689
Okay, why is my
boyfriend wearing a bonnet?
500
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:30,000
He'’s filling in for Mrs.
Bogle, the pastor'’s wife.
501
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,586
Of all days for her to have
502
00:18:31,655 --> 00:18:33,275
an allergic reaction to corn.
503
00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:36,103
I'’ve never dreamed
about threestudents before.
504
00:18:36,172 --> 00:18:38,448
I'’m beginning to
feel my life is empty.
505
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,517
Uh, Mrs. Quick, come with me.
506
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,931
This teacher'’s
blue and needs a lift
507
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,310
for all her trouble,
here'’s a gift.
508
00:18:45,379 --> 00:18:48,068
Mmm...
509
00:18:48,137 --> 00:18:50,310
What a wonderful dream.
510
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,620
Alone with Harrison Ford,
511
00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:56,551
dancing in the
gardens of versailles.
512
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:58,793
Go back to sleep,
513
00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:01,068
go back to sleep.
514
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,551
I'’m tired and i'’m filthy.
515
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:07,172
We know the feeling.
516
00:19:07,241 --> 00:19:08,103
Where have you guys been?
517
00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:09,448
The campaign trail.
518
00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:11,620
Oh, sure, we indulged
in a little mudslinging...
519
00:19:11,689 --> 00:19:12,965
But the tips were great.
520
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:16,103
So, how was life on the prairie?
521
00:19:16,172 --> 00:19:17,413
You knew about that?
522
00:19:17,482 --> 00:19:18,762
We had to sign the release form.
523
00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:20,631
Lucky for you, the
witches'’ council was so busy
524
00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:22,148
with the election,
they didn'’t have time
525
00:19:22,172 --> 00:19:23,586
to send you back
to the realprairie.
526
00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:26,413
Oh, so you'’re trying
to sugarcoat the fact
527
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,241
that they took a shortcut?
528
00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:30,896
Oh! That reminds me... I
need to floss before I go vote.
529
00:19:30,965 --> 00:19:32,793
Not to mention shower.
530
00:19:32,862 --> 00:19:34,827
Me first!
531
00:19:34,896 --> 00:19:38,172
I'’ve touched parts of animals
you wouldn'’t put in sausage.
532
00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:39,655
[ Grunts]
533
00:19:39,724 --> 00:19:41,931
I can'’t remember
anything about the issues.
534
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,631
Well, we'’ve been
standing in line so long
535
00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:45,241
your mental floss
has probably worn off.
536
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,413
I, on the other hand
537
00:19:46,482 --> 00:19:48,206
couldn'’t be more ready to vote.
538
00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:49,724
Well, then i'’ll just re-floss.
539
00:19:49,793 --> 00:19:51,689
It'’s still legal, you know.
540
00:19:53,206 --> 00:19:56,689
[ Rubbery squeaking]
541
00:19:56,758 --> 00:20:00,137
Now i'’m an informed
voter once again.
542
00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:05,206
Oh! Democracy blows!
543
00:20:07,379 --> 00:20:10,896
So far, i'’ve got: "Every
member of the spellman..."
544
00:20:10,965 --> 00:20:12,931
I'’m getting there.
545
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,800
What'’s the rush? I
didn'’t get to vote anyway.
546
00:20:14,862 --> 00:20:17,206
Hey, the election
results are on.
547
00:20:18,379 --> 00:20:20,310
I wonder if mental
floss got voted out.
548
00:20:20,379 --> 00:20:22,551
Oh, that stinks!
549
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,137
Announcer: And this just in...
550
00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:26,344
The "tell a mortal boyfriend
proposition" has failed.
551
00:20:26,413 --> 00:20:28,344
Thank you very much.
552
00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:30,000
Now Harvey'’s going
to continue thinking
553
00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,896
he'’s losing his mind forever.
554
00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:33,079
Let'’s not beat ourselves up.
555
00:20:33,103 --> 00:20:34,562
I'’m sure our votes
wouldn'’t have mattered.
556
00:20:34,586 --> 00:20:36,172
What a close race.
557
00:20:36,241 --> 00:20:38,517
One vote in favor would
have called for a runoff.
558
00:20:38,586 --> 00:20:39,793
Two votes would'’ve won it.
559
00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,103
I Don'’t know what'’s worse...
560
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:43,517
That we lost or that
Zelda gets to gloat.
561
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,000
That aunt Zelda gets to gloat.
562
00:20:45,068 --> 00:20:46,275
Oh, i'’m not gloating.
563
00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:48,482
There are some
propositions that passed
564
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:50,103
that i'’m very unhappy about.
565
00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:51,551
Did you hear the good news?
566
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:54,206
What? thank god it'’s fridyah!
567
00:20:58,068 --> 00:21:00,862
Oh, i'’ve forgotten how
much I love this book.
568
00:21:00,931 --> 00:21:02,862
Oh, no...
569
00:21:02,931 --> 00:21:05,000
This chapter'’s missing.
570
00:21:07,379 --> 00:21:09,655
I'’m going to the library.
571
00:21:09,724 --> 00:21:11,068
Oh, what the heck.
572
00:21:13,103 --> 00:21:15,931
Heathcliff!
573
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,482
Looking for a chapter?
574
00:21:18,551 --> 00:21:19,758
Taking a shortcut?
575
00:21:19,827 --> 00:21:21,275
It was a mistake.
576
00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:23,137
I'’m on the moors because I was
577
00:21:23,206 --> 00:21:24,655
looking for Roger Moore.
578
00:21:25,724 --> 00:21:26,758
Dudley Moore?
579
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,724
Oh, all right, I
took a shortcut.
580
00:21:29,793 --> 00:21:33,586
You told me we were
going for ice cream.
41475
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