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1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:03,655
Salem, look at
this old photograph
2
00:00:03,724 --> 00:00:04,724
I found in the attic.
3
00:00:04,793 --> 00:00:06,448
Photos! I was
framed, I tell you.
4
00:00:06,517 --> 00:00:08,724
How was I supposed to
know she was married?
5
00:00:08,793 --> 00:00:09,965
It'’s not of you.
6
00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:11,448
It'’s of some
creepy old relative.
7
00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:13,655
Maybe she can help me
figure out the family secret
8
00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:15,413
so I can finally get
my witch'’s license.
9
00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:20,103
Hi, i'’m Sabrina.
10
00:00:20,172 --> 00:00:21,896
I'’m sorry to bother
you, but I was trying
11
00:00:21,965 --> 00:00:23,241
to figure out the family secret
12
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,827
and I was wondering
if you knew it.
13
00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:27,448
Well, you didn'’t
hear it from me
14
00:00:27,517 --> 00:00:29,793
but while your uncle Rupert
was in prison for embezzling
15
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:32,344
his wife was having an affair
with Rupert'’s brother, sinclair
16
00:00:32,413 --> 00:00:33,931
but the explosion
wasn'’t his fault...
17
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,551
Whoa! So the spellmans
aren'’t the boring, pathetic losers
18
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,000
they'’ve been made out to be?
19
00:00:38,068 --> 00:00:39,551
Good morning, Sabrina and...
20
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:41,275
Sabrina'’s oddly dressed friend.
21
00:00:41,344 --> 00:00:42,827
Dear, i'’ve told you
22
00:00:42,896 --> 00:00:44,241
when they come to the door
23
00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:45,793
just take the
pamphlet and smile.
24
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:46,793
Don'’t let them in.
25
00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:48,103
Don'’t you know who this is?
26
00:00:48,172 --> 00:00:49,586
Hey, you found
the stuff I bought
27
00:00:49,655 --> 00:00:50,862
at the flea market yesterday.
28
00:00:50,931 --> 00:00:52,275
A complete stranger.
29
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,724
Salem: But she
doesn'’t have to be.
30
00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:55,379
Hello.
31
00:00:55,448 --> 00:00:57,655
[ Screams]
32
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,827
Who'’s now going to sue us.
33
00:01:16,551 --> 00:01:18,965
Tonight'’s show is
full of belly laughs.
34
00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,206
Ooh!
35
00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:26,448
Sabrina...
36
00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:28,037
Aren'’t you afraid
if you keep studying
37
00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,482
for this brainbusters
competition
38
00:01:29,551 --> 00:01:30,965
your whole head'’s
going to explode?
39
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:32,655
I just Don'’t want
to embarrass myself
40
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:34,586
on Saturday in front
of the entire school.
41
00:01:34,655 --> 00:01:38,275
Must be a horrible feeling
to look like an idiot in front
42
00:01:38,344 --> 00:01:39,624
of an auditorium full of people.
43
00:01:39,689 --> 00:01:41,275
Not that that would happen.
44
00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:42,482
Cheese puff?
45
00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:44,034
Oh, i'’d love one.
46
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,724
Are they hiding
underneath those things?
47
00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:46,896
These are my contributions
48
00:01:46,965 --> 00:01:48,310
to my first
cheerleader bake sale
49
00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:49,448
and nobody'’s buying them.
50
00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:50,965
Come on, birckhead
51
00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:53,103
move some merchandise...
52
00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:55,103
Or you'’ll be spit-shining
my pom-poms.
53
00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:59,310
Ooh! Are they supposed
to smell like feet?
54
00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,344
You smell it, too? Help.
55
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,827
It'’s all in the marketing.
56
00:02:02,896 --> 00:02:04,862
Have a cheese puff.
It'’ll freshen your breath
57
00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:06,655
whiten your teeth
and clear up your acne.
58
00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:08,551
The public'’s so gullible.
59
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,413
Our neighbor, Mr. Tobias
60
00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:13,551
is the most infuriating
man on the planet.
61
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:16,068
He ran over our trash can again.
62
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,586
That was my favorite trash can.
63
00:02:17,655 --> 00:02:20,103
You can'’t buy
memories like that.
64
00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:25,724
That'’s not the trash
can I was thinking of.
65
00:02:25,793 --> 00:02:27,827
I am sick of his behavior
66
00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:29,551
and i'’m not going
to take it anymore.
67
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:32,344
Let'’s destroy everything
that'’s dear to him.
68
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:35,655
Let'’s indoctrinate him
into the cathedral of agony.
69
00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:38,413
I'’m going to write
him a very stern letter.
70
00:02:38,482 --> 00:02:40,551
You'’re a regular
mad Max, aren'’t you?
71
00:02:45,586 --> 00:02:47,620
Uh...
72
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:48,551
Hilda...
73
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:49,689
What are you doing?
74
00:02:49,758 --> 00:02:51,103
Isn'’t she a pip?
75
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,241
I bought it at a yard
sale for 75 cents.
76
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:55,448
And they threw in
this cool farmer'’s hat.
77
00:02:55,517 --> 00:02:57,793
Why do you insist on
cluttering up our house
78
00:02:57,862 --> 00:02:59,655
with useless junk
from flea markets?
79
00:02:59,724 --> 00:03:01,068
Junk?!
80
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,551
You'’re the one who bought
Sabrina those encyclopedias.
81
00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,482
Until you can prove to me
82
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:08,620
that you can actually
use this... monstrosity...
83
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,000
I'’m using it right now.
84
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:11,413
I'’m going to the store.
85
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,724
Do you need anything?
86
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,655
Cheese actually
makes you appear taller.
87
00:03:14,724 --> 00:03:15,804
Okay, places, brainbusters.
88
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,517
This is not the food
court at the mall.
89
00:03:17,586 --> 00:03:19,103
Okay, "the dordogne river
90
00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:21,758
meets the sea at which
port city in France?" Sheldon.
91
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:22,413
Bordeaux.
92
00:03:22,482 --> 00:03:23,758
Yes. "The cluster
93
00:03:23,827 --> 00:03:25,965
of stars in the constellation
Orion." Sabrina?
94
00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:27,034
The seven sisters.
95
00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:28,068
Wrong.
96
00:03:28,482 --> 00:03:30,206
Oh. Correct.
97
00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:32,586
"Define Newton'’s theory
of gravitational force." Perry.
98
00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:36,551
Yes, that'’s what it is,
but I need it in words.
99
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,379
"Neanderthals lived in Europe
100
00:03:38,448 --> 00:03:39,793
during what period." Maggie?
101
00:03:41,448 --> 00:03:43,206
Look out. Coming through.
102
00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:48,000
I Don'’t mean to be an alarmist
103
00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:50,275
but shouldn'’t we be
wearing haz-mat suits?
104
00:03:50,344 --> 00:03:51,344
It'’s food poisoning.
105
00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:53,655
Or should I say puffpoisoning?
106
00:03:53,724 --> 00:03:55,896
They'’re all going to be
laid up for at least a week
107
00:03:55,965 --> 00:03:58,000
thanks to you and
your accomplice
108
00:03:58,068 --> 00:04:00,172
Valerie "sweeney
Todd" birckhead.
109
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,551
Valerie would never wish
kidney failure on anyone.
110
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:04,275
Well, i'’m not blaming Valerie.
111
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,103
I'’m blaming you.
112
00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:08,551
You'’ve been trying to
sabotage this competition
113
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:11,172
because you know how
important it is to my career.
114
00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:13,275
You Don'’t want to
see me make principal.
115
00:04:13,344 --> 00:04:14,896
Well, however true
that statement is
116
00:04:14,965 --> 00:04:16,482
I had nothing to do...
117
00:04:16,551 --> 00:04:19,206
Ah, but it'’s not going
to work, young lady
118
00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:21,137
and I am holding you responsible
119
00:04:21,206 --> 00:04:23,758
for having another
team ready by Saturday.
120
00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:26,862
And if you Don'’t, you'’re
going to see my ugly side.
121
00:04:29,137 --> 00:04:30,896
You mean it gets uglier?
122
00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:34,482
Yes, I know it'’s tough
competition, gordie.
123
00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:36,068
Yeah, it'’s Saturday morning.
124
00:04:36,137 --> 00:04:38,586
Yeah, I know we Don'’t
have much time to prepare
125
00:04:38,655 --> 00:04:40,068
but I think it'’ll be fun.
126
00:04:40,137 --> 00:04:41,137
[ Dial tone]
127
00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:42,379
Hello?
128
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,137
Great.
129
00:04:44,206 --> 00:04:46,379
I'’ve called everyone
on the honor roll
130
00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:49,413
and the science club and all
the students that wear glasses.
131
00:04:49,482 --> 00:04:51,103
Now what, aunt hilda?
132
00:04:51,172 --> 00:04:52,172
I'’m sorry, Sabrina.
133
00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:53,448
I'’d love to help you
134
00:04:53,517 --> 00:04:56,000
but i'’ve got to go
flip the mattresses.
135
00:04:59,655 --> 00:05:00,931
No. No.
136
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000
Well, come on.
137
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,551
Valerie, you have
to be a brainbuster.
138
00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:06,206
This whole nightmare can be
traced back to your mixing bowl.
139
00:05:06,275 --> 00:05:07,655
But I freeze under pressure.
140
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,827
I-I get dizzy, I sweat profusely
and I babble incoherently.
141
00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:12,862
Much like i'’m doing now.
142
00:05:12,931 --> 00:05:14,448
Harvey, you have to do it.
143
00:05:14,517 --> 00:05:15,655
You'’re my boyfriend.
144
00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,310
Sure, you say that now.
145
00:05:17,379 --> 00:05:19,344
Wait till they ask me a
question I Don'’t know.
146
00:05:19,413 --> 00:05:21,758
Then all of a sudden it'’s,
"who brought the dumb guy?"
147
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,344
Look, I really need your help.
148
00:05:25,448 --> 00:05:27,758
Okay, okay. You
guilted us into it.
149
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,689
But Don'’t we need one more?
150
00:05:29,758 --> 00:05:31,655
Unfortunately.
151
00:05:31,724 --> 00:05:34,379
Youwant meto do youa favor?
152
00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:36,965
What'’s the sudden
fascination with pronouns?
153
00:05:37,034 --> 00:05:40,310
I Don'’t know if you were recently
hit in the head with an asteroid
154
00:05:40,379 --> 00:05:42,827
but the day that I
do a freak a favor...
155
00:05:42,896 --> 00:05:45,448
Is everything okay here, ladies?
156
00:05:45,517 --> 00:05:47,793
We'’re fine. Um... Libby
volunteered to be a brainbuster
157
00:05:47,862 --> 00:05:49,793
but I Don'’t know if
that'’s a good idea.
158
00:05:49,862 --> 00:05:51,793
But I... I...
159
00:05:51,862 --> 00:05:53,793
I think it'’s a splendid idea.
160
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:57,344
If Libby wants to be on
the team, then she'’s on it.
161
00:05:57,413 --> 00:05:59,517
Darn it, Libby! You
get your way again!
162
00:06:00,551 --> 00:06:01,482
[ Chuckling]
163
00:06:01,551 --> 00:06:02,965
Mr. Tobias responded
164
00:06:03,034 --> 00:06:05,000
to my perfectly reasonable
and rational letter
165
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:06,172
by doing this.
166
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,758
A hunk of metal?
167
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:09,620
He shouldn'’t have.
168
00:06:09,689 --> 00:06:11,689
No, it'’s our mailbox.
169
00:06:14,379 --> 00:06:16,551
Well, I have two
words for Mr. Tobias...
170
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,172
Water balloons...
171
00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:19,655
Aimed at his house...
172
00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:21,137
On the hour, every hour.
173
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,034
I realize that'’s
more than two words.
174
00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:27,034
No, Salem, I refuse to stoop
to that neanderthal'’s level.
175
00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:28,793
Quick... I need
a spell to help fill
176
00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:30,896
Harvey, Valerie and
Libby'’s brains with...
177
00:06:30,965 --> 00:06:32,413
Well... brains.
178
00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:35,655
Sabrina, you know spells to
make people smarter are illegal.
179
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:37,517
Well, it'’s not that
they'’re stupid...
180
00:06:37,586 --> 00:06:39,034
Except maybe Libby...
181
00:06:39,103 --> 00:06:40,758
It'’s just that they
lack confidence...
182
00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:42,137
Except maybe Libby.
183
00:06:42,206 --> 00:06:44,034
Is there a spell
that would help them
184
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,527
tap into the knowledge
they already have?
185
00:06:45,551 --> 00:06:47,862
There'’s a "find your
full potential" spell
186
00:06:47,931 --> 00:06:49,655
and it'’s okay to
use on mortals.
187
00:06:49,724 --> 00:06:51,379
Witness Mark mcgwire.
188
00:06:51,448 --> 00:06:52,344
Perfect.
189
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:53,793
But there'’s a catch:
190
00:06:53,862 --> 00:06:55,103
You need your witch'’s license.
191
00:06:55,172 --> 00:06:56,862
But I can'’t get
my stupid license
192
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:59,137
until I figure out the
stupid family secret!
193
00:07:00,241 --> 00:07:02,241
I Don'’t believe it!
194
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,862
Tobias is spying on
us with a telescope.
195
00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:07,758
Some people have
no moral compass.
196
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:08,941
Salem, you'’ve got to help me.
197
00:07:08,965 --> 00:07:10,137
I'’ve got to get my license.
198
00:07:10,206 --> 00:07:12,044
Don'’t you know anything
about the family secret?
199
00:07:12,068 --> 00:07:13,803
Oh, Sabrina, you know
what you could do for me?
200
00:07:13,827 --> 00:07:15,044
Order this
water-balloon catapult
201
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,344
from Abercrombie and witch.
202
00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:19,689
No. Isn'’t there
some distant relative
203
00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:21,034
nobody ever talks about?
204
00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:22,758
You know, like the black sheep?
205
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:24,310
Hmm... well, there
is your aunt dorma.
206
00:07:24,379 --> 00:07:26,137
Dorma? I'’ve never heard of her.
207
00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:28,517
Hence the secret part.
208
00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:32,689
Yes! Tobias and the paper
just headed into the loo.
209
00:07:32,758 --> 00:07:35,655
That should give me
enough time to t.P. His house.
210
00:07:35,724 --> 00:07:36,896
[ Chuckling]
211
00:07:36,965 --> 00:07:38,896
Aunt dorma, pick
up your crystal ball
212
00:07:38,965 --> 00:07:40,931
and reverse the
charges on this call.
213
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,655
Who is this? I was sound asleep!
214
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,137
It'’s Sabrina
spellman, your niece.
215
00:07:45,206 --> 00:07:46,275
I'’m sorry to bother you.
216
00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:47,827
I just wanted to
ask you a question
217
00:07:47,896 --> 00:07:49,310
about the family secret.
218
00:07:49,379 --> 00:07:51,275
No one wakes up dorma
and gets away with it.
219
00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:52,413
You'’ll rue the day you...
220
00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:53,586
Sorry, wrong number.
221
00:07:53,655 --> 00:07:55,620
[ Dial tone]
222
00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:58,793
Well, I really hope her crystal
ball doesn'’t have star 69.
223
00:07:59,931 --> 00:08:01,931
Is the family secret
about aunt dorma?
224
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,620
Absolutely not.
225
00:08:03,689 --> 00:08:04,931
And Don'’t contact her.
226
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,448
She sleeps for
ten years at a time.
227
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:08,793
Oh! The last thing you'’d
ever want to do is wake her up.
228
00:08:08,862 --> 00:08:11,448
I did once, and she turned
me into a porch swing.
229
00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:14,448
Promise me you won'’t go
back up to your room and call her.
230
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,448
I promise.
231
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,413
Okay, "the first
woman to be elected
232
00:08:20,482 --> 00:08:22,448
to both the house
and the senate."
233
00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:23,551
Oh, that'’s...
234
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:24,758
How about somebody else
235
00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:26,551
besides the queen
of the lucky guesses?
236
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:27,620
Anyone?
237
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:28,724
Oh! Oh, I know this one!
238
00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:29,689
Yes, miss birckhead.
239
00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:31,344
Oh, Don'’t tell me...
240
00:08:31,413 --> 00:08:32,206
Um...
241
00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:33,344
Mr. Kinkle?
242
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,310
Can I just drop and give you 20?
243
00:08:36,379 --> 00:08:38,137
Libby.
244
00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:40,068
I told you i'’m
only here to field
245
00:08:40,137 --> 00:08:41,965
the fashion and hair questions.
246
00:08:42,034 --> 00:08:43,655
Oh! Uh... no.
247
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,689
Just a... second.
248
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,793
The answer is
"Margaret chase Smith."
249
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:49,758
Really? I didn'’t know that.
250
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:53,551
Well, this is an
unmitigated disaster.
251
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,206
Miss spellman, you
will have plenty of time
252
00:08:56,275 --> 00:08:58,586
to think about what
you have done to me
253
00:08:58,655 --> 00:09:00,620
in detention.
254
00:09:00,689 --> 00:09:02,724
Oh, no, no, no.
It'’s going to be fine.
255
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,413
I promise. All we need to do is have
an all-night cram session at my house.
256
00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:15,310
They just need
to study a little.
257
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:16,724
Aunt hilda! Aunt Zelda!
258
00:09:16,793 --> 00:09:18,620
I'’m having some
people over to study!
259
00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:19,965
Do we have any...
260
00:09:20,034 --> 00:09:21,103
Snacks.
261
00:09:21,172 --> 00:09:23,482
Aunt hilda?!
262
00:09:23,551 --> 00:09:24,413
Are you all right?
263
00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:25,482
Aunt hilda?
264
00:09:25,517 --> 00:09:26,620
[ Snoring]
265
00:09:26,689 --> 00:09:28,379
Come on, wake
up. Rise and shine.
266
00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:29,965
Look, a garage sale!
267
00:09:30,034 --> 00:09:31,172
[ Snoring]
268
00:09:31,241 --> 00:09:33,551
Poppies?
269
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:35,448
They'’re for me,
from aunt dorma.
270
00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:37,034
Something tells me this is not
271
00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:39,206
the beginning of a
beautiful friendship.
272
00:09:39,275 --> 00:09:41,413
Aunt Zelda, we'’ve
got a huge problem.
273
00:09:41,482 --> 00:09:42,931
Poppies!
274
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,620
Wha...?
275
00:09:44,689 --> 00:09:46,758
What'’s happening?
276
00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:48,793
Where did you get those flowers?
277
00:09:48,862 --> 00:09:51,206
Other-realm poppies
are lethal to spellmans.
278
00:09:51,275 --> 00:09:53,206
[ Snoring]Aunt dorma!
279
00:09:53,275 --> 00:09:54,689
You didn'’t wake
her up, did you?
280
00:09:54,758 --> 00:09:57,172
Yes, I woke her up. Now help
me get aunt Zelda to the couch.
281
00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:59,275
Sure. I'’ll grab her shoe.
282
00:10:01,482 --> 00:10:03,862
Just wanted to have
some people over to study.
283
00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:05,965
A few minutes ago,
my biggest worry was
284
00:10:06,034 --> 00:10:08,379
that we didn'’t have
enough pizza rolls.
285
00:10:08,448 --> 00:10:11,655
But no. Some crazy aunt
sends a bunch of... poppies!
286
00:10:11,724 --> 00:10:13,310
I got to get rid of them!
287
00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:20,586
Oh, no.
288
00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:22,724
Dorma must have
put a spell on my finger
289
00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:24,517
so I can'’t zap
the poppies away.
290
00:10:24,586 --> 00:10:25,655
What am I going to do?!
291
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,068
[ Doorbell rings]
292
00:10:27,137 --> 00:10:29,517
Of course... wait two seconds
for things to get even worse.
293
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,206
[ Knocking]
294
00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:36,862
We Don'’t want any cookies.
295
00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:38,862
Religious reasons.
296
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,655
Do you mind?
297
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,758
We'’re supposed to be studying
298
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:44,517
not standing out
here on your doormat
299
00:10:44,586 --> 00:10:46,034
which, by the way, feels cheap.
300
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,596
Oh, well, you'’ll have
to go around back.
301
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:49,901
The door is stuck and this
is as far as I can get it open.
302
00:10:49,931 --> 00:10:52,182
Well, i'’ve got an idea. What
if the three of us all push on...?
303
00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:53,758
You want a war, Tobias?
304
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:54,862
You got one.
305
00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:57,310
Just put your head
between your legs
306
00:10:57,379 --> 00:11:00,241
and kiss your sweet li... hey!
307
00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,000
You know, I Don'’t hang
up the phone on you
308
00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:03,769
when you'’re threatening
complete strangers.
309
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,103
Salem, you'’ve got to help me.
310
00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:07,448
What else do you remember
about the poison poppy spells?
311
00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:09,137
Let'’s see. From what I remember
312
00:11:09,206 --> 00:11:11,310
you have to remove the
poppies from the house
313
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,206
or everyone affected by
them will sleep for eternity
314
00:11:14,275 --> 00:11:17,379
while their minds and bodies
rot slowly into nothingness.
315
00:11:17,448 --> 00:11:19,068
But I can'’t. Every time I try
316
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,896
my finger just
makes more poppies.
317
00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:22,241
Hmm. That'’s a twist
318
00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:24,586
but if you can keep
hilda and Zelda moving
319
00:11:24,655 --> 00:11:26,551
you can delay the
decaying process.
320
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,724
[ Yawning]: How am I
supposed to do that?
321
00:11:28,793 --> 00:11:30,482
Wait a second. I'’m
falling asleep, too.
322
00:11:30,551 --> 00:11:32,344
Don'’t worry.
You'’re half mortal.
323
00:11:32,413 --> 00:11:35,103
They'’ll probably just make you
drowsy for a few hundred years.
324
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,172
Oh, good. I was afraid it
was something serious.
325
00:11:37,241 --> 00:11:38,620
[ Knocking]
326
00:11:38,689 --> 00:11:40,827
Sabrina, I can'’t
believe i'’m saying this.
327
00:11:40,896 --> 00:11:42,137
Let me into your house.
328
00:11:44,586 --> 00:11:45,965
[ Mocking laughter]
329
00:11:46,034 --> 00:11:47,896
What'’s with all the poppies?
330
00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:49,724
Our greenhouse broke.
331
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:50,793
You have a greenhouse?
332
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:51,827
Did you guys come over
333
00:11:51,862 --> 00:11:53,034
to study or to ask questions?
334
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,310
We certainly didn'’t
come here to socialize.
335
00:11:55,379 --> 00:11:58,137
Can we please go into the
living room and get this over with?
336
00:11:58,206 --> 00:11:59,931
Oh, no. Uh, we
can'’t go in there.
337
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,793
The pipes burst and
the place is flooded.
338
00:12:02,862 --> 00:12:04,517
Oh, I think I speak
339
00:12:04,586 --> 00:12:06,344
for all of us... ew.
340
00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:09,413
Why Don'’t you guys just
stay here and start studying
341
00:12:09,482 --> 00:12:12,137
and i'’ll be back before you
can say "rampant mildew."
342
00:12:12,206 --> 00:12:15,482
Okay. I'’ve got to keep aunt
hilda and aunt Zelda moving.
343
00:12:15,551 --> 00:12:17,000
Um... To keep my
aunts from spending
344
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:18,620
an eternity in bed,
make them act out
345
00:12:18,689 --> 00:12:20,448
what'’s currently going
through their heads.
346
00:12:26,068 --> 00:12:29,241
Finally... I got past the
doorman at studio 54.
347
00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:31,482
I'’m almost across the channel.
348
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,724
I can see calais.
349
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:35,241
This is what they dream of?
350
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,206
It'’s a wonder I turned
out normal at all.
351
00:12:37,275 --> 00:12:38,862
[ Yawning]: What was I doing?
352
00:12:38,931 --> 00:12:40,379
Right!
353
00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:42,275
Hey, Sabrina, we need your help.
354
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,458
Maybe you guys should
spend less time talking
355
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:44,413
and more time studying.
356
00:12:44,482 --> 00:12:46,517
Take that, Tobias.
357
00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:48,689
[ Glass shattering]
358
00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:50,379
Ooh! Stained glass window.
359
00:12:50,448 --> 00:12:52,827
Expensive.
360
00:12:52,896 --> 00:12:54,793
Salem, what are you doing?
361
00:12:54,862 --> 00:12:56,793
Why aren'’t you helping me?
362
00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:58,310
Bigger fish to fry.
363
00:12:58,379 --> 00:12:59,724
Isn'’t she a beaut?
364
00:12:59,793 --> 00:13:01,137
Zelda was asleep
365
00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:03,206
so I borrowed her credit card.
366
00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:05,000
There'’s got to be
something in here
367
00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:06,862
about getting rid of poppies.
368
00:13:06,931 --> 00:13:09,206
Uh, let'’s see.
369
00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:11,000
"Paprika, uses of."
370
00:13:11,068 --> 00:13:12,344
No.
371
00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:15,344
"Pod people, humor of."
372
00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:17,241
No.
373
00:13:18,413 --> 00:13:19,896
Salem!
374
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,241
Don'’t hate me.
375
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:22,689
I only did it
376
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,344
[ sobbing]: Because I love you.
377
00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:26,379
Aha! Here it is.
378
00:13:26,448 --> 00:13:28,068
"Poppy cleanup.
379
00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:30,689
Press here for fast,
efficient, friendly service."
380
00:13:30,758 --> 00:13:32,827
Finally. Something easy.
381
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,379
Can'’t they eat any faster?
382
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,137
Oh, yeah, well
383
00:13:37,206 --> 00:13:39,034
we just came from a
job at a garbage dump
384
00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:40,517
and they'’re kind of full.
385
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,862
Sabrina!
386
00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,896
Mr. Kraft, what
are you doing here?
387
00:13:44,965 --> 00:13:47,137
I just came by to make
sure you were studying.
388
00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:48,689
Why do I feel like I just walked
389
00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:50,379
into the middle
of a fellini film?
390
00:13:50,448 --> 00:13:52,413
You are a wonderful
dancer, Mr. Warhol.
391
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:53,689
Where are my notes?
392
00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:55,758
I'’ve got to give a
lecture in ten minutes.
393
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,517
Zelda...
394
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,424
Oh, Don'’t mind her. She'’s just
experiencing a bit of dementia.
395
00:13:59,448 --> 00:14:01,517
All that research! And for what?
396
00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:02,827
Oh, I understand.
397
00:14:02,896 --> 00:14:04,965
This is one of your experiments.
398
00:14:05,034 --> 00:14:07,724
Where'’s my pants? My
pants? Where are my pants?
399
00:14:07,793 --> 00:14:10,137
Okay, okay. You
are wearing them.
400
00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:13,275
You know, you really
are overworking yourself.
401
00:14:13,344 --> 00:14:15,137
Now, my advice to you...
402
00:14:15,206 --> 00:14:17,103
Start taking care of Zelda.
403
00:14:17,172 --> 00:14:19,655
Great suggestion. We'’ve
got to get back to studying now.
404
00:14:19,724 --> 00:14:21,000
Uh, thanks for coming by.
405
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,000
Did she...?
406
00:14:22,068 --> 00:14:24,206
Salem: Take that, Tobias.
407
00:14:26,068 --> 00:14:27,862
[ Yelling]
408
00:14:27,931 --> 00:14:30,517
Harvey: Sabrina, is it
okay to come out now?
409
00:14:30,586 --> 00:14:33,103
Harvey, no! Uh...
You'’ll ruin your shoes.
410
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,379
[ Whistles]
411
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,137
Okay, boys. Take five.
412
00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:38,103
It'’s a union thing.
413
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:39,527
You know, just get
the goats out of here.
414
00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:41,068
I'’ll get rid of the
poppies myself.
415
00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:44,068
And people wonder why
Shepherds are loners.
416
00:14:44,137 --> 00:14:46,034
Hey, what'’s going on?
417
00:14:46,103 --> 00:14:48,000
We heard some
strange noises in there.
418
00:14:48,068 --> 00:14:49,275
It sounded like goats.
419
00:14:49,344 --> 00:14:50,551
Goats...
420
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:53,034
You guys have been
studying too long.
421
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:55,413
Shepherd: Come on,
goats. Time to go home.
422
00:14:55,482 --> 00:14:57,310
So, how'’s the studying going?
423
00:14:57,379 --> 00:14:58,206
Miserably.
424
00:14:58,275 --> 00:14:59,172
Will you help us?
425
00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:00,172
You Don'’t need me.
426
00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:01,286
You got everything you need.
427
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:02,320
You'’re smart and
you have books.
428
00:15:02,344 --> 00:15:03,896
So you'’re not going to help us.
429
00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,379
I would, but I just have
430
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,310
more work to do, you
know... Mostly mopping.
431
00:15:07,379 --> 00:15:08,896
But Don'’t leave this room.
432
00:15:10,965 --> 00:15:13,586
I despise this house.
433
00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:15,482
I can'’t believe this.
434
00:15:15,551 --> 00:15:17,000
I'’m drowsy
435
00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:19,793
and i'’m operating
heavy machinery.
436
00:15:19,862 --> 00:15:21,793
♪
437
00:15:51,275 --> 00:15:53,172
♪
438
00:16:00,931 --> 00:16:03,206
Ah... I beat you, aunt dorma.
439
00:16:03,275 --> 00:16:04,275
I won.
440
00:16:06,413 --> 00:16:09,206
[ Punchy laughter]
441
00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:11,241
Oh... the poppies are back.
442
00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:15,241
I stayed up all night
and the poppies are back.
443
00:16:15,310 --> 00:16:17,103
[ Punchy laughter]
444
00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:19,310
Sabrina... It'’s me, Valerie.
445
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,620
Are you okay?
446
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:21,793
Valerie, hi.
447
00:16:21,862 --> 00:16:23,034
Oh, and Libby'’s here.
448
00:16:23,103 --> 00:16:24,758
I wonder if Libby'’s ticklish.
449
00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:26,241
Libby, are you ticklish?
450
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:28,517
[ Punchy laughter]
451
00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:30,344
Poor thing. She
must be exhausted
452
00:16:30,413 --> 00:16:31,896
from cleaning up all night.
453
00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:33,862
Well, she didn'’t
do a very good job.
454
00:16:33,931 --> 00:16:35,448
It still smells like mildew.
455
00:16:35,517 --> 00:16:37,689
She can'’t go to the
competition in this condition.
456
00:16:37,758 --> 00:16:39,206
I can so.
457
00:16:39,275 --> 00:16:41,482
Actually, I can'’t
sew, but I canknit.
458
00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:42,827
[ Punchy laughter]
459
00:16:42,896 --> 00:16:44,689
All right. Help me
get her into my car.
460
00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:46,758
Maybe she'’ll perk up
on the ride to school.
461
00:16:46,827 --> 00:16:48,103
[ Laughing]
462
00:16:48,172 --> 00:16:50,310
Oh, it'’s freezing out there.
463
00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:52,793
Hey, Libby, grab
her coat, will you?
464
00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:58,413
[ Screaming]
465
00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:02,000
Welcome, everyone
466
00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:05,551
to the 1999 all-city
brainbusters championship.
467
00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,517
Whoo!
468
00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:11,551
Are you sure you can do this?
469
00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,172
Positively. No problemo.
470
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,310
Fire those questions
at me, Willard.
471
00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:18,000
The first round will
begin in just a minute.
472
00:17:18,068 --> 00:17:19,482
[ Buzzer]1812!
473
00:17:19,551 --> 00:17:21,275
What is going on over here?
474
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,586
Sabrina'’s just a little punchy
475
00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:23,724
from staying up all night.
476
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,103
Rodgers and hart.
477
00:17:25,172 --> 00:17:27,586
Uh... oh! To get
to the other side.
478
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,206
Put duct tape over
her mouth if you have to
479
00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:32,793
but keep her quiet.
480
00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:34,586
All right, westbridge.
481
00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:37,206
"What is Newton'’s
third law of motion?"
482
00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:38,689
[ Buzzer]
483
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,482
I Don'’t know that.
484
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:47,310
Westbridge, "the capital
of Madagascar is...?"
485
00:17:47,379 --> 00:17:48,827
Snow![ Buzzer]
486
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:50,724
Incorrect.
487
00:17:50,793 --> 00:17:52,068
No, i'’m not.
488
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,931
Snow will get rid of poppies.
489
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,034
Why didn'’t I
think of it before?
490
00:17:56,103 --> 00:17:57,827
It'’s like the wizard of oz.
491
00:17:57,896 --> 00:17:59,655
To wake my aunts
from terrible rot
492
00:17:59,724 --> 00:18:01,827
send snow to my
house; Be sure it'’s a lot.
493
00:18:08,724 --> 00:18:10,758
The score is: Revere, 50
494
00:18:10,827 --> 00:18:13,172
westbridge, bubkes.
495
00:18:13,241 --> 00:18:14,655
Next question, westbridge.
496
00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:18,206
"What is the highest
peak in North America?"
497
00:18:20,103 --> 00:18:21,724
Great. I guess it'’s up to us
498
00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:23,793
now that freak Van
winkle'’s out cold.
499
00:18:23,862 --> 00:18:25,206
Valerie, you answer it.
500
00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:26,758
Me? No way. You answer it.
501
00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:28,034
Harvey: No way.
502
00:18:28,103 --> 00:18:29,413
Westbridge, we are waiting.
503
00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:31,758
"What is the highest
peak in North America?"
504
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:35,172
Uh...
505
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,482
[ Buzzer]
506
00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:38,000
Mt. McKinley?
507
00:18:38,068 --> 00:18:39,758
My lord, that'’s right.
508
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,896
Ten points for westbridge.
509
00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:43,241
[ Both laughing]
510
00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:44,758
[ Buzzer]
511
00:18:44,827 --> 00:18:47,310
I Don'’t even know if
i'’m saying this right.
512
00:18:47,379 --> 00:18:49,482
Is it the pythagorean theorem?
513
00:18:49,551 --> 00:18:51,517
Kraft: It is
514
00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:54,517
and that'’s ten more
points for westbridge.
515
00:18:54,586 --> 00:18:57,724
And the moderator
is neutral, of course.
516
00:18:57,793 --> 00:18:59,482
The pyrenees mountain range
517
00:18:59,551 --> 00:19:02,482
extends from the bay of
biscay to the mediterranean sea.
518
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,103
It certainly does.
519
00:19:04,172 --> 00:19:05,172
Yes!
520
00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,896
All right. This is your
last question, westbridge.
521
00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:11,344
For the game...
522
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:18,965
"What country is the largest
producer of soybeans?"
523
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:20,103
I know it!
524
00:19:20,172 --> 00:19:21,896
America.[ Buzzer]
525
00:19:21,965 --> 00:19:23,344
You are correct!
526
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:25,068
Westbridge wins!
527
00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:26,275
[ Cheering]
528
00:19:27,758 --> 00:19:28,862
I can'’t believe it.
529
00:19:28,931 --> 00:19:30,275
Studying actually works.
530
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:31,827
Sorry about that, Sabrina.
531
00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:33,275
I just couldn'’t risk it.
532
00:19:33,344 --> 00:19:34,827
What wereyou going to say?
533
00:19:34,896 --> 00:19:37,689
You got a purty mouth.
534
00:19:37,758 --> 00:19:40,620
No, no. You can come
by my house and see it
535
00:19:40,689 --> 00:19:42,206
any time you want.
536
00:19:42,275 --> 00:19:43,689
Just call first.
537
00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:45,551
I won! I won!
538
00:19:45,620 --> 00:19:48,896
♪ I'’m gonna be principal
in ten or 15 years. ♪
539
00:19:48,965 --> 00:19:50,551
[ Laughing]
540
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:53,172
Nobody takes a
trophy away from me.
541
00:19:58,241 --> 00:19:59,517
Oh, my goodness.
542
00:19:59,586 --> 00:20:00,310
Is she all right?
543
00:20:00,379 --> 00:20:02,034
She'’s fine, just exhausted.
544
00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:03,551
What a night.
545
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,172
Between helping us study
546
00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:07,034
and the flood in
your living room
547
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,827
which is now covered in snow...
548
00:20:08,896 --> 00:20:10,517
I got a toboggan for my birthday
549
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,068
and I couldn'’t wait to try it.
550
00:20:12,137 --> 00:20:13,689
Freak begets freak.
551
00:20:13,758 --> 00:20:14,896
When she wakes up,
552
00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:16,665
will you tell her that we
won the brainbusters?
553
00:20:16,689 --> 00:20:18,655
Yeah. She convinced us to study.
554
00:20:18,724 --> 00:20:20,344
This trophy belongs to her.
555
00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:23,827
You know Sabrina.
556
00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:26,000
One crazy idea after another.
557
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,517
Is there a Zelda
spellman at this residence?
558
00:20:30,586 --> 00:20:32,275
Yes. May I help you?
559
00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:35,551
You'’re under arrest for making
threatening phone calls to your neighbor
560
00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:37,965
and breaking all of his
windows with water balloons.
561
00:20:38,034 --> 00:20:40,137
Zelda: But-but-but-but
562
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:42,172
but i'’ve been asleep
for the last 12 hours.
563
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,206
You might want to
work on that alibi.
564
00:20:44,275 --> 00:20:46,137
Somebody'’s
going to regret this.
565
00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:48,896
I think she was talking to you.
566
00:20:53,482 --> 00:20:54,724
Break time'’s over, Salem.
567
00:20:54,793 --> 00:20:56,553
Please Don'’t make me
scrub any more toilets.
568
00:20:56,586 --> 00:20:58,586
I keep falling in.
569
00:20:58,655 --> 00:21:01,379
Sabrina, this is
your aunt dorma.
570
00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:02,931
You really are a black sheep.
571
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,862
So are you here
for a social visit
572
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,482
or to poison us in person?
573
00:21:06,551 --> 00:21:07,896
To apologize and
574
00:21:07,965 --> 00:21:09,793
to thank you for waking me up.
575
00:21:09,862 --> 00:21:11,517
I left my oven on
and if it weren'’t
576
00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:13,689
for you, my house
would'’ve caught on fire.
577
00:21:13,758 --> 00:21:15,172
And as a way of
saying she'’s sorry,
578
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,034
we'’re getting a lifetime
supply of mittens.
579
00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:19,000
Oh, and how about a
clue to the family secret?
580
00:21:19,068 --> 00:21:21,655
Certainly. What are
barn animal relatives for?
581
00:21:25,068 --> 00:21:26,482
Birds? It'’s bad enough
582
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,413
trying to figure
out these clues.
583
00:21:28,482 --> 00:21:29,931
Nobody said anything about
584
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,689
having to clean up after them.
585
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,379
Oh... Salem.
586
00:21:33,448 --> 00:21:35,000
[ Sobbing]
41479
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