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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,448 --> 00:00:03,379 ♪ La-la-la 2 00:00:03,448 --> 00:00:04,862 i'’ve never seen you so happy. 3 00:00:04,931 --> 00:00:07,344 Me, neither, which is a really sad commentary 4 00:00:07,413 --> 00:00:08,586 on hilda'’s life. 5 00:00:08,655 --> 00:00:10,034 Hilda always gets this excited 6 00:00:10,103 --> 00:00:12,517 when she'’s going to see our cousin zsa zsa goowhiggie. 7 00:00:12,586 --> 00:00:13,206 Gesundheit. 8 00:00:13,275 --> 00:00:15,310 She'’s my favorite relative. 9 00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:16,793 She'’s a great practical joker... 10 00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:18,275 Tons of fun. 11 00:00:18,344 --> 00:00:21,068 If you call putting killer bees in someone'’s bonnet "fun." 12 00:00:21,137 --> 00:00:23,172 Well, maybe you were too swollen to laugh. 13 00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:24,689 Well, i'’m going to say my hellos 14 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,034 and then get back to work on my subatomic microphone. 15 00:00:27,103 --> 00:00:28,931 Still trying to prove electrons can hear? 16 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,172 Don'’t laugh. 17 00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:32,241 Because they might hear me? 18 00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:34,620 And you, instead of fooling around with zsa zsa 19 00:00:34,689 --> 00:00:36,517 you should be practicing your violin. 20 00:00:36,586 --> 00:00:38,310 You'’ve got an audition in two days. 21 00:00:38,379 --> 00:00:40,034 Which is two days away. 22 00:00:41,103 --> 00:00:42,413 [ Hissing] 23 00:00:42,482 --> 00:00:44,206 [ Screaming] 24 00:00:44,275 --> 00:00:45,275 Oh! 25 00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:49,344 This is vintage zsa zsa! 26 00:00:49,413 --> 00:00:52,241 Okay, zsa zsa, you can morph into your human form now. 27 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:53,379 Gotcha! 28 00:00:55,482 --> 00:00:56,517 [ Screams] 29 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,758 So... goowhiggie... Is that Swedish? 30 00:01:19,551 --> 00:01:21,862 Other leprechauns look up to me. 31 00:01:25,827 --> 00:01:26,827 Ah, thereyou go. 32 00:01:26,862 --> 00:01:28,379 When did you start selling cosmetics? 33 00:01:28,448 --> 00:01:29,608 When the trust fund dried up. 34 00:01:29,655 --> 00:01:30,655 Oh! 35 00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:32,517 Here is the latest beauty product 36 00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:33,827 from the other realm. 37 00:01:33,896 --> 00:01:35,241 "Instant hobo"? 38 00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:37,448 What, when the jar'’s empty, you can live in it? 39 00:01:37,517 --> 00:01:38,655 [ Laughing] 40 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:41,000 I think i'’m getting bags under my eyes. 41 00:01:42,862 --> 00:01:44,413 Okay, you all missed your cue 42 00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:46,310 to say, "no, Salem, you look fine." 43 00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:48,103 That means I need some concealer. 44 00:01:48,172 --> 00:01:50,379 Salem, i'’d loveto sell you some products 45 00:01:50,448 --> 00:01:52,862 but your name'’s all over the bad-check list. 46 00:01:52,931 --> 00:01:54,172 What about my aliases? 47 00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:55,965 They'’re going to have baggy eyes, too. 48 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:57,793 [ Crying] 49 00:01:57,862 --> 00:01:59,034 Zelda... 50 00:01:59,103 --> 00:02:01,172 This color could be for you. Oh? 51 00:02:01,241 --> 00:02:03,931 Oh! 52 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,068 [ Laughing] 53 00:02:05,137 --> 00:02:08,137 You know, they must miss you two at the algonquin. 54 00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:09,862 Whoo! Well, i'’d love to stick around 55 00:02:09,931 --> 00:02:12,000 and wonder what you two have been drinking 56 00:02:12,068 --> 00:02:13,344 but I got to get to school. 57 00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:14,413 Oh, Sabrina... 58 00:02:14,448 --> 00:02:16,413 Sabrina, please, try this blush. 59 00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:18,758 I wonder what'’s going to pop out of here 60 00:02:18,827 --> 00:02:20,034 and cause you two 61 00:02:20,103 --> 00:02:21,724 to laugh uncontrollably. [ Sighs] 62 00:02:22,827 --> 00:02:24,793 Hey, nice color. 63 00:02:24,862 --> 00:02:26,724 Zsa zsa: Uh-huh. 64 00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:27,482 Not bad. 65 00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:28,620 Zsa zsa: Hey. 66 00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:30,172 Thanks, zsa zsa. 67 00:02:30,241 --> 00:02:31,689 Oh, you'’re welcome. 68 00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:33,103 [ Softly laughing] 69 00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:34,344 Bye-bye. 70 00:02:34,413 --> 00:02:36,896 [ Softly laughing] 71 00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:39,172 [ Cackling] 72 00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:40,931 Hey, Sabrina. 73 00:02:42,103 --> 00:02:44,275 Ooh, did you enroll in clown college? 74 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:46,551 [ Gasps] 75 00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:47,689 Zsa zsa! 76 00:02:47,758 --> 00:02:50,068 Harvest season at my aunts'’ vineyard. 77 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,586 So, um, did you sign up 78 00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:53,758 to take any college prep classes? 79 00:02:53,827 --> 00:02:56,034 Oh, I decided i'’m not taking the s.A.T.S. 80 00:02:56,103 --> 00:02:57,586 I'’m going to be a mechanic. 81 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,241 So, i'’m not going to college. 82 00:02:59,310 --> 00:03:00,758 Really? 83 00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:02,758 No college? 84 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,344 [ Sighing]: What a day. 85 00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:07,862 Who would'’ve thought an executive vice president 86 00:03:07,931 --> 00:03:09,206 would have so much to do? 87 00:03:09,275 --> 00:03:10,655 Drive! 88 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,758 So what if your engine'’s on fire?! 89 00:03:12,827 --> 00:03:14,206 What are you, a girl?! 90 00:03:14,275 --> 00:03:15,344 Harvey, i'’m home. 91 00:03:15,413 --> 00:03:16,793 Oh, hey, honey. 92 00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:19,103 Did you see the new car? 93 00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:20,655 Yeah, it looks like it'’s 94 00:03:20,724 --> 00:03:22,103 up on new blocks, too. 95 00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:24,655 And as soon as I find an engine and some tires 96 00:03:24,724 --> 00:03:26,275 i'’m taking my girl for a ride. 97 00:03:28,689 --> 00:03:30,103 [ Uncomfortable chuckle] 98 00:03:30,172 --> 00:03:31,896 Oh, it'’s getting exciting now. 99 00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:35,275 [ School bell ringing] 100 00:03:35,344 --> 00:03:36,724 See you after class. 101 00:03:36,793 --> 00:03:39,275 Wait! So, you'’re really not going to go to college? 102 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,172 Nope. 103 00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:42,689 Not even clown college? 104 00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:44,000 [ Salem humming] 105 00:03:45,689 --> 00:03:47,793 Aha, the concealer at last! 106 00:03:47,862 --> 00:03:51,275 Mmm... that cherry lipstick looks delicious. 107 00:03:51,344 --> 00:03:52,586 No! 108 00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,862 Beautify now; Eat later. 109 00:03:54,931 --> 00:03:56,275 Do you think I should be worried 110 00:03:56,344 --> 00:03:57,862 that Harvey isn'’t going to college? 111 00:03:57,931 --> 00:03:59,206 Ididn'’t go to college. 112 00:03:59,275 --> 00:04:01,206 Aw, he'’s doomed, I tell you, doomed! 113 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:04,241 Oh, I can'’t imagine what it would feel like 114 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,034 to have no drive, so little ambition... 115 00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:08,931 Not that that'’s a bad thing. 116 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,965 And I can'’t imagine what it would be like 117 00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:13,103 to be so driven you never had time for fun. 118 00:04:13,172 --> 00:04:14,655 Ihave fun. 119 00:04:14,724 --> 00:04:16,793 Working nonstop to achieve a goal 120 00:04:16,862 --> 00:04:18,586 is enormouslypleasurable. 121 00:04:18,655 --> 00:04:19,965 Oh, that'’s right... 122 00:04:20,034 --> 00:04:22,793 They have that new all-work ride at Disney world. 123 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,344 May I offer a suggestion? 124 00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:27,586 Walk-a-mile moccasins... 125 00:04:27,655 --> 00:04:29,793 You each buy a pair and then switch 126 00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:32,758 to help you understand how the other person feels. 127 00:04:32,827 --> 00:04:34,862 Couldn'’t we just have extensive family therapy? 128 00:04:34,931 --> 00:04:36,827 Maybe should try them, hilda. 129 00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:39,206 It'’s only a mile and... they'’re pink. 130 00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:41,689 Well... I can see why you'’d want to be like me 131 00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:43,586 but why would I want to be like you? 132 00:04:43,655 --> 00:04:44,586 All right. Okay. 133 00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:46,310 Ah, yes. 134 00:04:48,172 --> 00:04:49,310 Now, switch. 135 00:04:51,551 --> 00:04:53,137 Salem: Say, everyone 136 00:04:53,206 --> 00:04:56,206 are there still bags under my eyes? 137 00:04:56,275 --> 00:04:57,655 Salem, where are you? 138 00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:59,517 I'’m right here, in front... 139 00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:01,103 Oh, dear lord! 140 00:05:01,172 --> 00:05:03,448 I used too much concealer! 141 00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:05,172 I'’m invisible! 142 00:05:05,241 --> 00:05:06,103 And in debt. 143 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,413 But on the bright side 144 00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:09,275 you really can'’t see those bags. 145 00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:10,586 [ Sobbing] 146 00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:14,413 [ Knocking] 147 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,206 Knock-knock. 148 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,310 Oh, hi, zsa zsa. I Don'’t have time for pranks 149 00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:21,310 so just leave the joy buzzer and i'’ll shock myself with it later. 150 00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:23,103 This is business, honey. 151 00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:26,758 Now, I overheard about your little friend, Harvey 152 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,758 and i'’ve got the perfect product. 153 00:05:30,034 --> 00:05:31,310 Pure ambition? 154 00:05:31,379 --> 00:05:32,586 It'’s a Cologne. 155 00:05:32,655 --> 00:05:34,965 A little dab and your man will be more ambitious 156 00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:37,620 than the entire William Morris mailroom put together. 157 00:05:37,689 --> 00:05:39,241 Whoa, it'’s a little musky. 158 00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:42,586 Well, they do say that success is 99% perspiration. 159 00:05:42,655 --> 00:05:43,931 Gross. 160 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,931 I'’ll take it. 161 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,586 Put it on my aunts'’ tab. 162 00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:49,000 I'’m telling you, man, this east German transmission 163 00:05:49,068 --> 00:05:50,068 is driving me crazy. 164 00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:51,310 I figure it'’s either a valve 165 00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:53,620 or they'’re plotting to take over the world again. 166 00:05:53,689 --> 00:05:55,931 Harvey! I got you a present. 167 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:56,931 What for? 168 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,034 Boyfriend'’s day. 169 00:05:58,103 --> 00:05:59,344 Uh, it'’s a... holiday 170 00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:01,379 that the retailers came up with 171 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,344 to fill in the slow sale season 172 00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:05,103 between Christmas and easter. 173 00:06:05,172 --> 00:06:06,172 Just put it on. 174 00:06:07,689 --> 00:06:09,206 Oh, it smells like my dog 175 00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:11,517 when he'’s rolled in something dead! 176 00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:14,448 But I like it! 177 00:06:16,517 --> 00:06:18,241 Hey, after I replace that valve 178 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:20,965 I think i'’m going to overhaul the whole engine. 179 00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:23,344 You'’re not talking about s.A.T.S, are you? 180 00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:25,310 Come on, man, we can fix this car. 181 00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:27,655 We just need to be a little more ambitious. 182 00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:30,689 But after you fix the car, you'’re going to drive it 183 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,413 to a college recruitment center, right? Right? 184 00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:35,586 Oh! I guess a little dab didn'’t do him. 185 00:06:35,655 --> 00:06:37,758 We'’ve been wearing these moccasins for a while now 186 00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:39,107 and I Don'’t feel any different. 187 00:06:39,172 --> 00:06:39,931 Do you? 188 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,172 No... 189 00:06:41,241 --> 00:06:43,586 Although I do have a sudden urge to track bear. 190 00:06:43,655 --> 00:06:44,827 Hey, hildie, want to fill up 191 00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:46,724 all the holes on the golf course? 192 00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:49,724 No, thanks. I'’m going to practice my violin. 193 00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:51,103 Hmm. 194 00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:54,413 And I have research to do... 195 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,965 Although... 196 00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:58,206 Golf course high jinks sounds like fun. 197 00:07:02,517 --> 00:07:05,137 Hey! Oh! Woo! 198 00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:06,448 Oh, the smell! 199 00:07:06,517 --> 00:07:07,965 It'’s not that bad, is it? 200 00:07:08,034 --> 00:07:08,965 Oh! 201 00:07:09,034 --> 00:07:10,482 Where are you going? 202 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:13,896 To bathe. 203 00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:16,448 And to take the practice s.A.T. Test. 204 00:07:16,517 --> 00:07:21,068 Ah, the sweet stench of success. 205 00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:22,206 Um, hello? 206 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,068 Do you have prince Albert in a can? 207 00:07:26,137 --> 00:07:29,034 Oh, I think you do. 208 00:07:34,379 --> 00:07:36,827 Excuse me, shopkeeper, do be a sport 209 00:07:36,896 --> 00:07:39,172 and let me out of here, would you? 210 00:07:44,103 --> 00:07:45,103 [ Both laughing] 211 00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:47,068 Oh, didn'’t you say that somebody was 212 00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:50,137 coming over from the Grant committee for a presentation? 213 00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:51,275 Oh, that'’s right. 214 00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:53,448 And i'’ve got to get right to work. 215 00:07:53,517 --> 00:07:54,517 Mm-hmm. 216 00:07:54,551 --> 00:07:56,172 Just one more call. 217 00:07:56,241 --> 00:07:57,241 One more. 218 00:07:59,068 --> 00:08:00,793 Salem? 219 00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:02,620 Salem: Salem'’s not here. 220 00:08:02,689 --> 00:08:05,137 Oh, well, then he won'’t want me to open 221 00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:06,793 any of those cans for him. 222 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:09,000 Oh, wait. Here he is now. 223 00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:12,310 Salem, how about some of that sockeye? 224 00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:13,379 Love some. 225 00:08:15,482 --> 00:08:16,896 Hey, bright boy 226 00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:20,310 you might be invisible, but these cans aren'’t. 227 00:08:20,379 --> 00:08:21,448 Put these away. 228 00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:22,724 Party pooper. 229 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,862 And put that tongue back in your mouth. 230 00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:28,068 Don'’t you have some research to do? 231 00:08:28,137 --> 00:08:30,586 Hildie, your nose is running. 232 00:08:30,655 --> 00:08:31,344 No, it isn'’t. 233 00:08:31,413 --> 00:08:33,000 Yes, it is.Uh-huh. 234 00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:38,689 I'’m just glad I Don'’t play 235 00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:40,137 a wind instrument. 236 00:08:43,034 --> 00:08:45,103 [ Laughing] 237 00:08:45,172 --> 00:08:46,758 [ School bell ringing] 238 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,724 So, you seem to be working hard. 239 00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,275 How do you think you did? 240 00:08:50,344 --> 00:08:51,724 I forgot about the test. 241 00:08:51,793 --> 00:08:54,551 I was drawing up my design for the new race car 242 00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:55,724 i'’m going to build. 243 00:08:55,793 --> 00:08:57,758 It'’s completely aerodynamic 244 00:08:57,827 --> 00:08:59,862 and it has 17 cup holders. 245 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:04,172 I'’m going to get zsa zsa right in the goowhiggie. 246 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:09,620 That ambition Cologne only made Harvey 247 00:09:09,689 --> 00:09:12,896 more ambitious towards cars and beverage caddies. 248 00:09:12,965 --> 00:09:15,344 Well, Harvey'’s ambition needs to expand 249 00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:17,034 beyond his usual horizons. 250 00:09:17,103 --> 00:09:18,931 The Cologne may not be enough. 251 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,827 I'’m not buying any more stuff. 252 00:09:20,896 --> 00:09:21,896 Well, i'’m not sure 253 00:09:21,965 --> 00:09:23,965 I have anything that'’s appropriate. 254 00:09:24,034 --> 00:09:26,000 Although, I did sell the ambition deodorant 255 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:27,000 to Bill Gates. 256 00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,310 But it'’s not for Harvey. 257 00:09:28,379 --> 00:09:29,620 Bill Gates? mm-hmm. 258 00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:33,172 And Michael eisner, he swears by ambition shampoo 259 00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:34,965 but it'’s not for Harvey. 260 00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:36,517 Oh, and he wouldn'’t be interested 261 00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:37,827 in the ambition aftershave. 262 00:09:37,896 --> 00:09:40,137 I'’ll take the whole line of ambition products. 263 00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:43,310 Wonderful. And with your $40 purchase 264 00:09:43,379 --> 00:09:46,931 you'’ll receive this lovely tote bag. 265 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:47,896 $40? 266 00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:48,896 $40. 267 00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,413 Put it on my aunts'’ tab. 268 00:09:50,482 --> 00:09:52,275 [ Chuckles] 269 00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:54,827 Woo! 270 00:09:54,896 --> 00:09:57,206 Ambition is a good product. 271 00:09:57,275 --> 00:09:59,310 Almost as good as my favorite perfume... 272 00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:02,137 "Reverse psychology." 273 00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:07,793 Man, these ambition products are heavy. 274 00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:08,862 [ Salem chuckles] 275 00:10:08,931 --> 00:10:09,862 Salem... 276 00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:11,172 I love these free rides. 277 00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:13,724 Although, I could'’ve done without your stopover 278 00:10:13,793 --> 00:10:15,103 in the bathroom. 279 00:10:15,172 --> 00:10:18,793 Harvey will never put these products on willingly. 280 00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:22,448 I'’m just going to have to do it the hard way. 281 00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:24,137 [ Upbeat rock playing] 282 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,655 ♪ And yet we have so much beauty ♪ 283 00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:28,931 ♪ we refuse to rid ourselves 284 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,103 ♪ spiritualize your commercial eyes ♪ 285 00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:34,586 ♪ now we Don'’t believe in hell ♪ 286 00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:38,068 ♪ to be anywhere else 287 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,344 ♪ so the sky'’s the limit ♪ 288 00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:41,965 ♪ let me take you to that other level 289 00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,655 ♪ if you can 290 00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:47,655 ♪ and I know that you can 291 00:10:47,724 --> 00:10:53,413 ♪ wait for the change, we'’ll be on our plane ♪ 292 00:10:53,482 --> 00:10:56,517 ♪ what comes next? Remind me 293 00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:02,000 ♪ wait for the change 294 00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:05,517 ♪ we'’ll be on our plane ♪ 295 00:11:05,586 --> 00:11:09,034 ♪ what comes next? Remind me. 296 00:11:15,931 --> 00:11:17,448 Hey. 297 00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:18,655 I'’m so glad to see you. 298 00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:20,655 I just came to an incredible decision. 299 00:11:20,724 --> 00:11:23,896 I'’m going to do everything I can to achieve my full potential. 300 00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:25,655 Well, that'’s great. 301 00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:28,379 And you'’re starting out by clearing out your locker? 302 00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:29,896 I'’m starting 303 00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:32,413 by dropping out of school. 304 00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:36,000 That'’s not going to look good on your college application. 305 00:11:39,137 --> 00:11:41,310 Why are you dropping out? To be a mechanic? 306 00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:42,310 Of course not. 307 00:11:42,379 --> 00:11:44,172 I'’m going to pool my lawn mowing 308 00:11:44,241 --> 00:11:45,931 and paper route money together 309 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000 and put a down payment on a garage. 310 00:11:48,068 --> 00:11:50,034 I'’m going to be an owner-operator. 311 00:11:50,103 --> 00:11:52,551 Great. So was goober pyle. 312 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,655 I am here to interview Zelda spellman 313 00:11:54,724 --> 00:11:56,448 regarding her Grant proposal. 314 00:11:56,517 --> 00:11:57,448 I'’ll go get her. 315 00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,034 Zelda is a terrific researcher. 316 00:11:59,103 --> 00:12:01,413 Very hard working, dedicated, professional. 317 00:12:01,482 --> 00:12:02,896 [ Zelda and zsa zsa laughing] 318 00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:04,724 Zelda. 319 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:05,793 Zelda! 320 00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:07,862 This is Boris lermontov. 321 00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:10,137 The head of the Grant committee. 322 00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:12,724 Oh, Mr. Lermontov, please, sit down. 323 00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:16,068 All the way down. 324 00:12:18,482 --> 00:12:20,103 I can'’t find my spectacles. 325 00:12:21,034 --> 00:12:22,137 Woo! 326 00:12:22,206 --> 00:12:23,655 Here they are. 327 00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:24,724 I'’m sorry. 328 00:12:24,758 --> 00:12:26,655 The house isn'’t level. 329 00:12:26,724 --> 00:12:28,655 I suppose you find time 330 00:12:28,724 --> 00:12:31,931 to do actual research between guffaws. 331 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,068 I'’m sorry. 332 00:12:33,137 --> 00:12:35,620 I would like to get serious and discuss 333 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,068 my latest endeavor... 334 00:12:37,137 --> 00:12:38,517 "The wedgie project." 335 00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:41,000 [ Gasping] 336 00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:45,724 So, it did make the boy ambitious. 337 00:12:45,793 --> 00:12:48,310 If you consider forgoing a high school diploma 338 00:12:48,379 --> 00:12:51,000 to spend time with leaky carburetors ambitious. 339 00:12:51,068 --> 00:12:52,103 And I do. 340 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,310 Just tell me how to reverse the effect. 341 00:12:54,379 --> 00:12:56,413 Sorry. Once ambition has been applied 342 00:12:56,482 --> 00:12:58,344 you have to let it run its course. 343 00:12:58,413 --> 00:12:59,586 Great. Well, this is 344 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:01,655 as ambitious as he'’ll get, right? 345 00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:02,758 Should be. 346 00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:04,862 You just used a little, didn'’t you? 347 00:13:04,931 --> 00:13:06,862 [ Doorbell rings] 348 00:13:10,965 --> 00:13:12,172 Harvey? 349 00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:13,275 Let me guess. 350 00:13:13,344 --> 00:13:15,517 You haven'’t been working on cars, have you? 351 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,034 No. And i'’ve got great news. 352 00:13:17,103 --> 00:13:19,068 Instead of going to the bank for a loan 353 00:13:19,137 --> 00:13:20,241 I got on the Internet 354 00:13:20,310 --> 00:13:21,827 and used my savings to buy yen 355 00:13:21,896 --> 00:13:23,689 which I converted into German marks 356 00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:26,413 and then put the whole thing on pork bellies 357 00:13:26,482 --> 00:13:29,034 and when I left home I was up $11 million. 358 00:13:29,103 --> 00:13:30,793 '’course, it'’s all on paper. 359 00:13:30,862 --> 00:13:32,000 $11 million? 360 00:13:32,068 --> 00:13:33,931 Think of the college you could afford. 361 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,068 Good idea. 362 00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:38,896 Maybe i'’ll buy one. 363 00:13:40,931 --> 00:13:42,241 [ Salem laughing] 364 00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:43,586 Salem, stop that. 365 00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:46,344 I'’m invisible and you can'’t catch me. 366 00:13:46,413 --> 00:13:48,620 I'’m invisible and you can'’t... 367 00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:51,655 You will hear from my lawyer. 368 00:13:51,724 --> 00:13:53,758 God bless Claude rains. 369 00:13:53,827 --> 00:13:55,689 Well, Boris lermontov called. 370 00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:58,103 Looks like i'’m not getting that Grant. 371 00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,172 And after that wedgie 372 00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:01,000 he'’s joining the Vienna boys'’ choir. 373 00:14:01,068 --> 00:14:04,241 I hope this teaches you to act more responsibly. 374 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:05,724 Oh, you'’re right. 375 00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:07,241 I really need to. 376 00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:09,034 Zsa zsa: Here I come. 377 00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:10,517 Hide. Zsa zsa'’s it. 378 00:14:10,586 --> 00:14:11,586 Cancel my 5:00. 379 00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:13,862 Tell the mayor I can'’t make his fund-raiser 380 00:14:13,931 --> 00:14:15,689 but tell the governor I can make his. 381 00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:16,689 Harvey... 382 00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:17,793 Excuse me, ma'’am. 383 00:14:17,862 --> 00:14:20,275 You can'’t talk to Mr. Kinkle without an appointment. 384 00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:21,275 It'’s okay. 385 00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:23,965 I'’ve got 30 seconds free if we keep walking. 386 00:14:24,034 --> 00:14:25,758 It'’s good to see you back in school. 387 00:14:25,827 --> 00:14:26,827 Yep, i'’m here 388 00:14:26,896 --> 00:14:29,068 to see how much it will cost to knock it down. 389 00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:30,137 What? 390 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,275 I'’m going to need a headquarters for my empire 391 00:14:32,344 --> 00:14:34,103 so i'’m going to raze the entire block 392 00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,310 and put up a skyscraper. 393 00:14:35,379 --> 00:14:36,310 But you can'’t. 394 00:14:36,379 --> 00:14:38,448 There'’s an orphanage and a retirement home 395 00:14:38,517 --> 00:14:39,448 on this block. 396 00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:40,517 And lucky for me 397 00:14:40,551 --> 00:14:42,241 old folks and kids are bad negotiators. 398 00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:44,793 Sabrina, you should drop out of school. 399 00:14:44,862 --> 00:14:47,310 I'’ve got enough money to support both of us 400 00:14:47,379 --> 00:14:50,034 and despite your intelligence, I think you'’d make 401 00:14:50,103 --> 00:14:51,620 a great trophy wife. 402 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,448 I'’ve got to do something. 403 00:14:57,517 --> 00:14:59,586 I can'’t stand what Harvey'’s become. 404 00:14:59,655 --> 00:15:01,517 Dope fiend? Degenerate gambler? 405 00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:02,586 Petty thief? 406 00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:05,172 An aggressive, ambitious multimillionaire. 407 00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:06,241 How awful. 408 00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:08,275 Will you tell Harvey I always liked him? 409 00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:10,862 I'’ve got to show him he'’s going down the wrong path. 410 00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:13,137 Well, why not cast a "prognosis hypnosis" spell? 411 00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:14,793 Shows a person what could happen 412 00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:16,586 if they keep doing what they'’re doing. 413 00:15:16,655 --> 00:15:17,758 There'’s such a spell? 414 00:15:17,827 --> 00:15:18,827 It'’s a classic 415 00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:20,896 and it'’s perfect for this situation. 416 00:15:20,965 --> 00:15:23,551 Thanks, Salem. Is there anything I can do for you? 417 00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,965 No. Can'’t think of a thing. 418 00:15:26,034 --> 00:15:27,896 Okay. Got to go. 419 00:15:27,965 --> 00:15:29,137 Sabrina! I'’m in... 420 00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:30,241 [ Crying] 421 00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:33,655 Curse my sarcastic nature! 422 00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:37,000 Harvey? 423 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,965 Harvey kinkle? 424 00:15:39,034 --> 00:15:40,172 Move it. 425 00:15:40,241 --> 00:15:42,413 Sabrina? 426 00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:44,137 Did my parents let you in? 427 00:15:44,206 --> 00:15:46,344 I'’m here to show you your future. 428 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:50,241 No more lobster and chocolate cake before bed. 429 00:15:53,241 --> 00:15:55,241 Who'’s that? 430 00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,689 Trixie, your third wife... 431 00:15:57,758 --> 00:16:00,931 As vacant and dimwitted a woman as ever walked this earth. 432 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,482 Great bone structure. 433 00:16:03,551 --> 00:16:05,655 Hello, family. Father'’s home. 434 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,344 Now I must get back to the office. 435 00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:13,793 Harvey, honey... 436 00:16:13,862 --> 00:16:15,379 Rex and Lucy 437 00:16:15,448 --> 00:16:18,827 have been feeling a bit down lately. 438 00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,379 And they are...? 439 00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:21,448 Your children. 440 00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:23,758 Oh, right. Right. 441 00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:25,620 I'’m not sure they feel loved. 442 00:16:25,689 --> 00:16:27,206 Oh, no problem. I'’ll have 443 00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:30,068 my secretary write them an affectionate note. 444 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,448 I think you'’ve seen enough. Let'’s go. 445 00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:36,000 What'’s all this? 446 00:16:36,068 --> 00:16:37,310 Oh, I Don'’t know. 447 00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:39,482 It might have something to do 448 00:16:39,551 --> 00:16:41,172 with the chemical plant 449 00:16:41,241 --> 00:16:43,448 you put on the football field. 450 00:16:43,517 --> 00:16:46,000 Fair enough, but why the gas masks? 451 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,172 What'’s all this? 452 00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:52,344 The result of years of kinkle inc.'’s desolation of the land 453 00:16:52,413 --> 00:16:54,103 in the name of corporate profits. 454 00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:55,689 Wow. 455 00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:57,931 See that one lone tree over there? 456 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,275 That'’s the state park you commissioned. 457 00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,310 Well, if people Don'’t like all this 458 00:17:02,379 --> 00:17:04,517 why Don'’t they just move to the country? 459 00:17:04,586 --> 00:17:05,689 This isthe country. 460 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,000 You should see what you'’ve done to the city. 461 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:13,344 Let me guess. My birthday party? 462 00:17:13,413 --> 00:17:15,551 No. Your funeral. 463 00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,275 [ Cheering] 464 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,379 Everyone is glad you'’re dead 465 00:17:20,448 --> 00:17:22,172 because you and your boundless ambition 466 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,724 have systematically wiped out all 467 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,413 that is good and right with the world. 468 00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:26,862 Wow. 469 00:17:26,931 --> 00:17:28,827 Something to think about, huh? 470 00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:31,034 So, now that you'’ve seen your future 471 00:17:31,103 --> 00:17:32,758 how do you feel? 472 00:17:32,827 --> 00:17:36,068 Bad. You know what I regret most? 473 00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:37,206 Everything? 474 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:38,827 That state park. 475 00:17:38,896 --> 00:17:41,206 What a waste of space. 476 00:17:42,793 --> 00:17:45,620 Aunt Zelda, I really messed up. 477 00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,413 I need some sage aunt advice. 478 00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:48,482 Sure, honey. 479 00:17:48,517 --> 00:17:50,620 Just let me finish melting my army men. 480 00:17:50,689 --> 00:17:52,655 Sabrina, I just heard on the radio 481 00:17:52,724 --> 00:17:55,344 that they'’re demolishing your school tomorrow 482 00:17:55,413 --> 00:17:57,103 to make way for... and I quote... 483 00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:59,931 "industrialist Harvey kinkle'’s new chemical plant." 484 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,896 Did I mention I might have dumped 485 00:18:01,965 --> 00:18:03,793 some ambition products on Harvey? 486 00:18:03,862 --> 00:18:05,344 And things turned out well, I see. 487 00:18:05,413 --> 00:18:06,931 Aunt Zelda, what am I going to do? 488 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,206 Very unsafe, private Ryan. 489 00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:13,000 Let'’s take a look at ambition'’s ingredients 490 00:18:13,068 --> 00:18:14,827 and have a talk with zsa zsa. 491 00:18:17,758 --> 00:18:20,586 Something'’s weird here. 492 00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:22,344 Cousin zsa zsa, you sold me 493 00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:24,172 ambition with no perspective. 494 00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:25,448 And that'’s dangerous. 495 00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:26,965 You sold blind ambition. 496 00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:28,793 Perspective is imported. 497 00:18:28,862 --> 00:18:30,310 It'’s very expensive. 498 00:18:30,379 --> 00:18:32,655 Well, import some now. I mean it. 499 00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:35,275 Okay. Okay. 500 00:18:38,275 --> 00:18:41,172 There'’s your perspective. 501 00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:43,034 Put it on Sabrina'’s tab. 502 00:18:43,103 --> 00:18:44,689 [ Screaming] 503 00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:47,931 Should we have the bulldozer roll over the protester, sir? 504 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,034 Nah, but get their names and addresses 505 00:18:50,103 --> 00:18:52,413 and remind me to destroy their lives later. 506 00:18:52,482 --> 00:18:55,241 Okay, Harvey, time for a little perspective. 507 00:18:55,310 --> 00:18:57,827 Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross, gross. 508 00:18:57,896 --> 00:18:59,896 Sir, you ready to break ground? 509 00:18:59,965 --> 00:19:02,241 Let'’s not tear down the school. 510 00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:05,034 I like the food and i'’ve heard good things 511 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,034 about the educational stuff. 512 00:19:07,931 --> 00:19:09,275 And i'’d like to give 513 00:19:09,344 --> 00:19:12,068 all my money to the orphans and old people 514 00:19:12,137 --> 00:19:14,310 and old orphans get twice as much. 515 00:19:14,379 --> 00:19:17,241 I got to get back to working on that engine. 516 00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:19,896 I feel like my old self again... 517 00:19:19,965 --> 00:19:22,965 Relaxed, content and broke. 518 00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:24,344 Good to have you back, Harvey. 519 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:28,413 But did you have to give it allaway? 520 00:19:28,482 --> 00:19:30,344 My dad thinks I might have had 521 00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:32,448 what'’s known as a maniac episode. 522 00:19:32,517 --> 00:19:35,448 Oh, so glad your dad figures these things out. 523 00:19:35,517 --> 00:19:37,586 Well, here'’s my s.A.T. Prep class. 524 00:19:37,655 --> 00:19:39,172 Mind if I join you? 525 00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:40,517 Really? 526 00:19:40,586 --> 00:19:42,379 Yep. I want to be the brightest 527 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:45,413 best educated, most widely read mechanic there is. 528 00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:47,413 I love a boy with ambition. 529 00:19:55,034 --> 00:19:57,068 Your moccasins are off my feet. 530 00:19:57,137 --> 00:19:58,344 Wow. Well, good. 531 00:19:58,413 --> 00:20:00,448 Now maybe you can buckle down 532 00:20:00,517 --> 00:20:02,172 and get your work done 533 00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:03,862 and stop with the pranks. 534 00:20:05,448 --> 00:20:07,724 Yours are gone, too. Wow. 535 00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:08,827 You know, that was 536 00:20:08,896 --> 00:20:10,655 a really interesting experiment. 537 00:20:10,724 --> 00:20:12,000 I rue losing the Grant 538 00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:13,724 and yet there was a certain lightness 539 00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:15,068 in not feeling so driven. 540 00:20:15,137 --> 00:20:16,137 I found... 541 00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:17,206 [ Blaring] 542 00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:19,413 I'’m back! 543 00:20:19,482 --> 00:20:22,344 Sabrina, could you either... 544 00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:25,655 Remove these bandages or kill me? 545 00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:34,965 Salem, you'’re visible again. 546 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:38,620 Yes, but I think i'’ve broken every bone in my body. 547 00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:43,275 [ Crying]: So could you please put the bandages back on? 548 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,517 Thanks for coming, cousin zsa zsa. 549 00:20:48,586 --> 00:20:51,172 Aside from switching aunt hilda'’s and Zelda'’s personalities 550 00:20:51,241 --> 00:20:52,862 almost destroyed my boyfriend'’s soul 551 00:20:52,931 --> 00:20:54,379 made Salem invisible and took us 552 00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:56,793 for every penny we'’ve got, it'’s been a nice visit. 553 00:20:56,862 --> 00:20:58,827 And i'’ve got a present for you. 554 00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:00,689 It'’s a clue to the family secret. 555 00:21:03,275 --> 00:21:04,965 Never gets old. 556 00:21:05,034 --> 00:21:07,103 Actually, a snake really is a clue 557 00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:08,482 to the family secret. 558 00:21:08,551 --> 00:21:09,448 Well, i'’m off. 559 00:21:09,517 --> 00:21:11,103 Toodles! 560 00:21:14,103 --> 00:21:15,448 Well, i'’m glad we threw out 561 00:21:15,517 --> 00:21:16,862 all those ambition products. 562 00:21:16,931 --> 00:21:19,310 All that was left was a little bit of shampoo. 563 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,862 Oh, no. I think I used it to clean tape off Salem. 564 00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:26,758 How many times do I have to tell you greed is good? 565 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,413 Greed clarifies, greed strengthens. 566 00:21:29,482 --> 00:21:32,137 Now get me trump on the horn pronto! 567 00:21:32,206 --> 00:21:34,655 Yes, i'’ll hold. 39132

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