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1
00:00:02,413 --> 00:00:05,206
[ Blowing fanfare]
2
00:00:05,275 --> 00:00:07,793
Wow. All this just
because I finished
3
00:00:07,862 --> 00:00:09,517
my invention for school?
4
00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:10,655
You shouldn'’t have.
5
00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:11,862
Even though I did spend
6
00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:13,206
three weeks working on it
7
00:00:13,275 --> 00:00:14,413
not to mention missing
8
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,482
the English patient
on hbo 61 times.
9
00:00:16,551 --> 00:00:17,896
Cool your jets, Edison.
10
00:00:17,965 --> 00:00:19,724
The horns Don'’t toot for you.
11
00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:21,689
This is for our cousin, Larry.
12
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What did heinvent?
13
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,724
Nothing. But cousin
Larry has come to expect
14
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,965
some fanfare since he
became an other realm emperor.
15
00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:31,241
He has his own
country; I get dirty looks
16
00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:33,172
for taking up too
much couch space.
17
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,758
Ah.
18
00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:36,103
Here he comes.
19
00:00:36,172 --> 00:00:38,000
[ Blowing fanfare]
20
00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:42,344
Zelda.
21
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:43,586
What a delight.
22
00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:47,724
This must be Sabrina.
23
00:00:47,793 --> 00:00:49,068
Kiss my ring.
24
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But I hardly know it.
25
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:51,724
[ Chuckles]
26
00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:54,620
I can'’t wait to talk to
you about the family...
27
00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:56,241
[ Blowing fanfare]
28
00:00:57,103 --> 00:00:58,379
I have a...
29
00:00:58,448 --> 00:00:59,827
[ Fanfare continues]
30
00:01:01,413 --> 00:01:04,068
♪ ...break through this
rotten piece of wood ♪
31
00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:06,517
As long as we'’re
going to be interrupted
32
00:01:06,586 --> 00:01:08,827
the music might as well be good.
33
00:01:08,896 --> 00:01:12,206
♪ So I fought again
34
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,034
♪ so I fought again
35
00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:28,379
♪ so i'’ll break through this
rotten piece of wood again. ♪
36
00:01:46,586 --> 00:01:48,000
Two witches walk into a bar.
37
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,862
Stop me if you'’ve
heard this one before.
38
00:01:53,793 --> 00:01:55,586
So, where is your lovely sister?
39
00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:58,206
She'’s at her high school
equivalency reunion.
40
00:01:58,275 --> 00:01:59,517
They hold it every year
41
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,206
at costco.
42
00:02:01,275 --> 00:02:03,655
Oh, i'’m going to be
late for my symposium
43
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,896
in the other realm.
44
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:07,448
I'’ve proved yet another
unsolvable theorem.
45
00:02:07,517 --> 00:02:08,896
Yes, well, before you go
46
00:02:08,965 --> 00:02:11,655
I must tell you, i'’ve
discovered a very curious fact.
47
00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:13,172
You'’re your own grandpa?
48
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,758
I found out that Zelda
49
00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:19,241
is the "rincess" of
massapequa park...
50
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:22,517
The country that borders
my country, massapequa.
51
00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:23,689
Aunt Zelda'’s a Princess?
52
00:02:23,758 --> 00:02:25,827
Not "prr"... just "rrr."
53
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,034
Really tiny countries can'’t
afford a whole p-rincess.
54
00:02:29,103 --> 00:02:30,793
Okay, but
nonetheless, aunt Zelda
55
00:02:30,862 --> 00:02:33,793
there'’s a whole country for
you to run and me to inherit.
56
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:34,931
Back off, Napoleon.
57
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,931
Zelda promised me
my own sovereign state
58
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,172
for my birthday.
59
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,689
Or was it a chew toy?
60
00:02:40,758 --> 00:02:42,068
We witches live so long
61
00:02:42,137 --> 00:02:44,620
that we constantly
accumulate useless land.
62
00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:46,206
Just last week, I found out
63
00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:48,275
that I own a
driveway in ashtabula.
64
00:02:48,344 --> 00:02:50,620
Would you like me to take
the country off your hands?
65
00:02:50,689 --> 00:02:52,310
Would you?
66
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:55,000
I'’ve got the papers right here.
67
00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:57,482
Just one little signature.
68
00:03:00,068 --> 00:03:02,137
If you press really hard.
69
00:03:02,206 --> 00:03:04,655
I'’m sorry. I'’m going
to have to sign these
70
00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:05,862
after my symposium.
71
00:03:05,931 --> 00:03:08,034
So, Sabrina,
finally we get to talk
72
00:03:08,103 --> 00:03:09,724
about the family secret.
73
00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:11,896
I'’d love to, but i'’ve
got to get to school.
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00:03:11,965 --> 00:03:14,551
Today'’s the invention
fair and mine is really cool.
75
00:03:18,482 --> 00:03:20,517
I think I know
the family secret...
76
00:03:20,586 --> 00:03:23,793
Lack of proper excitement
over teenage achievements.
77
00:03:23,862 --> 00:03:29,137
It'’s a combination
hairdryer/lipstick applicator.
78
00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:31,241
[ Loud whirring]
79
00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:33,551
Excellent. I see them
in hotels everywhere...
80
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,620
Except Europe where
the current'’s weird.
81
00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:37,689
So what does yours do?
82
00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:40,862
Oh, it filters the water from
the school'’s water cooler
83
00:03:40,931 --> 00:03:42,655
leaving only pure h2o. Watch.
84
00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:44,137
[ Dull humming sound]
85
00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:51,344
Wow. The water'’s
so pure, i'’m still thirsty.
86
00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:52,482
Sabrina.
87
00:03:52,551 --> 00:03:53,931
You'’re going to win for sure.
88
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,344
Thanks. It'’s so nice to have
89
00:03:55,413 --> 00:03:56,862
someone else excited about it.
90
00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:58,103
My aunts didn'’t even care
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00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:59,586
that our tap water has radon.
92
00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:00,965
All systems are go
93
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:04,103
for the first-ever pepperoni
pizza putty-prototype.
94
00:04:04,172 --> 00:04:06,758
Does the pepperoni pizza
putty-prototype have a point?
95
00:04:06,827 --> 00:04:08,965
Say you order a
plain cheese pizza
96
00:04:09,034 --> 00:04:11,103
and it arrives with pepperoni.
97
00:04:11,172 --> 00:04:14,413
Simply place the pepperoni
pizza putty-prototype
98
00:04:14,482 --> 00:04:16,379
like so and...
99
00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:17,586
Voila!
100
00:04:17,655 --> 00:04:18,689
Hey, it really works.
101
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,034
One question: Why Don'’t you
102
00:04:20,103 --> 00:04:22,413
just pick the pepperoni
off with your fingers?
103
00:04:22,482 --> 00:04:24,344
What do I look like, an animal?
104
00:04:24,413 --> 00:04:26,965
Valerie, I like your invention.
105
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,482
Really? what about mine?
106
00:04:28,551 --> 00:04:30,551
Excellent, as usual.
107
00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:31,620
Nice work.
108
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,241
Thank you.
109
00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:34,724
[ Loud whirring]
110
00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:35,724
[ Whirring stops]
111
00:04:35,793 --> 00:04:37,103
Swell.
112
00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:40,413
Now I look like one of
red skelton'’s paintings.
113
00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:41,758
Coming through.
114
00:04:41,827 --> 00:04:44,620
Harvey, I think someone studied.
115
00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:47,482
All right! C-plus.
116
00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:50,000
B-minus.
117
00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:52,103
Yes! Once again, i'’m
comfortably ensconced
118
00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,758
in the middle of the bell curve.
119
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,172
All right, Valerie.
120
00:04:55,241 --> 00:04:56,448
I got an "a!"
121
00:04:56,517 --> 00:04:57,586
As usual.
122
00:04:57,655 --> 00:04:59,620
Uh, Mrs. Quick, i'’m not sure
123
00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,137
but is this an "a"?
124
00:05:01,206 --> 00:05:02,517
Actually, it'’s an a-plus.
125
00:05:02,586 --> 00:05:05,517
Now, let'’s all
turn to chapter 11.
126
00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:15,000
Just getting ready
for the millennium.
127
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:18,482
[ Gasps]
128
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:19,620
I got third place!
129
00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:20,620
That'’s great.
130
00:05:20,689 --> 00:05:22,931
First! I got first place!
131
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,034
I got a green
"participant" ribbon.
132
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:25,896
Congratulations.
133
00:05:25,965 --> 00:05:26,896
I got third.
134
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:27,862
All right!
135
00:05:27,931 --> 00:05:29,379
And I got first.
136
00:05:29,448 --> 00:05:30,448
Knew it.
137
00:05:31,344 --> 00:05:32,275
Valerie, I told you
138
00:05:32,344 --> 00:05:33,448
it was a good invention.
139
00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:34,758
Valerie: Thank you.
140
00:05:34,827 --> 00:05:36,862
[ Clears throat repeatedly]
141
00:05:36,931 --> 00:05:38,482
Well, nice work, kinkle.
142
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,586
You'’re the only football player
143
00:05:40,655 --> 00:05:42,724
to actually finish an invention.
144
00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:43,586
What about me?
145
00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:45,620
Hello.
146
00:05:45,689 --> 00:05:47,793
Hey, Valerie...
147
00:05:47,862 --> 00:05:49,793
I heard you got third. Cool.
148
00:05:49,862 --> 00:05:50,862
Thank you.
149
00:05:50,896 --> 00:05:51,793
Hey, Sabrina.
150
00:05:51,862 --> 00:05:52,793
Yes, I did.
151
00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:54,689
I mean, uh, you go first.
152
00:05:54,758 --> 00:05:56,724
We'’re doing a walk for orphans.
153
00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:58,206
Do you want to sign up?
154
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,896
Why? So I can do great,
be the best, walk the most
155
00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:03,931
and have everyone ignore it?
156
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,379
Actually, it'’s so the
orphans can get cable.
157
00:06:08,448 --> 00:06:09,689
Oh, hi, honey.
158
00:06:09,758 --> 00:06:12,344
I wasn'’t expecting
you home for lunch.
159
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:13,689
What'’s the matter?
160
00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:15,586
I got an a-plus on
a really hard test
161
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:16,758
and won a blue ribbon
162
00:06:16,827 --> 00:06:17,827
on my invention.
163
00:06:17,862 --> 00:06:19,137
Uh-huh. So what'’s the problem?
164
00:06:19,206 --> 00:06:21,172
That! No one'’s excited.
165
00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:23,689
Oh, honey, it'’s
just that you get as
166
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,344
and win things so often
167
00:06:25,413 --> 00:06:27,931
you can'’t expect a
parade every time.
168
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,068
How about one person walking
by with a hearty "well done"?
169
00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:32,241
I, on the other hand
170
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:34,000
solved an ancient math problem
171
00:06:34,068 --> 00:06:35,758
and the other realm scientists
172
00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:37,620
sat there like a group of mutes.
173
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,862
Of course. Now that
they'’re covered with smallpox
174
00:06:39,931 --> 00:06:40,965
they might be livelier.
175
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,379
I would just like one person
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00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:43,655
to get a little keyed up.
177
00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:44,655
[ Gasps]
178
00:06:44,724 --> 00:06:46,206
Sabrina, did I dream it
179
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,103
or did you win a blue ribbon?
180
00:06:49,137 --> 00:06:51,172
Yes! I did!
181
00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,034
Is that available for shredding?
182
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,793
This magic book is useless.
183
00:06:56,862 --> 00:06:59,310
It shouldn'’t take this
long to find a quick fix.
184
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:00,655
What are you looking for?
185
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:01,793
When I go back to school
186
00:07:01,862 --> 00:07:03,310
I want my good
work acknowledged.
187
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:05,931
But I haven'’t found anything
under "awards," "accolades"
188
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,517
"prizes"... Not
even "lip service."
189
00:07:07,586 --> 00:07:09,068
Check the recipe section.
190
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:09,896
Just do it.
191
00:07:09,965 --> 00:07:11,724
Do it!
192
00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:15,896
It'’s just desserts.
193
00:07:15,965 --> 00:07:16,896
Exactly.
194
00:07:16,965 --> 00:07:18,379
That'’s what you want...
195
00:07:18,448 --> 00:07:19,793
Your "just desserts."
196
00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:20,965
Oh, I see.
197
00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:23,379
"With one little bite
of this just dessert
198
00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:26,379
you'’ll get the recognition
your good work deserves."
199
00:07:26,448 --> 00:07:27,448
Cool.
200
00:07:27,482 --> 00:07:29,586
Wow, you'’re lucky.
201
00:07:29,655 --> 00:07:32,275
When I was a witch,
just desserts was a prune.
202
00:07:32,344 --> 00:07:33,896
[ Doorbell ringing]
203
00:07:33,965 --> 00:07:35,793
An old prune!
204
00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:38,724
Aunt Zelda, this is
Olga and zampano
205
00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:41,241
from your country
in the other realm.
206
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:42,586
Uh-huh. What do they want?
207
00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:46,000
Your greatness knows no bounds
208
00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:48,103
oh, great rincess.
209
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,275
Seeing you brings honor
210
00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:53,068
to my whole family.
211
00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:54,172
I'’m just guessing
212
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,689
but i'’d say they'’re here
213
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,344
to worship you.
214
00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:01,344
Okay, just dessert, I
hope you bring me praise
215
00:08:01,413 --> 00:08:02,655
and not just cavities.
216
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:07,172
Sabrina, you got an
"a" on your math test!
217
00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:10,172
Hey, everyone,
Sabrina got an "a!"
218
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:12,931
Sabrina also won
the invention contest
219
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,896
or have you forgotten that?
220
00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:16,931
Not at all. Look.
221
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,827
Sabrina: "In honor
of Sabrina spellman."
222
00:08:19,896 --> 00:08:22,413
And I didn'’t even have to die!
223
00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:24,379
Okay, okay.
Everybody, attention.
224
00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:26,586
Because of the outstanding work
225
00:08:26,655 --> 00:08:29,310
that Sabrina has
done on her schoolwork
226
00:08:29,379 --> 00:08:31,344
the school board
has decided that
227
00:08:31,413 --> 00:08:33,517
no existing grade is adequate.
228
00:08:33,586 --> 00:08:35,724
So, Sabrina, we give you this.
229
00:08:35,793 --> 00:08:39,379
Choir: [ Over loudspeaker]
♪ hallelujah, hallelujah...
230
00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:42,827
I have to remember to be
modest and humble and...
231
00:08:42,896 --> 00:08:44,379
Oh, the heck with that.
232
00:08:44,448 --> 00:08:45,655
This is great.
233
00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:47,000
Thank you.
234
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,724
♪ Hallelujah...
235
00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,206
[ Zelda moaning]
236
00:08:50,275 --> 00:08:51,689
Oh, go on.
237
00:08:51,758 --> 00:08:53,896
You couldn'’t admire allmy work.
238
00:08:53,965 --> 00:08:55,896
That we do, rincess.
239
00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:58,448
Your face is on all our money.
240
00:08:58,517 --> 00:09:00,655
We assume you shaved your beard.
241
00:09:01,655 --> 00:09:02,758
Ah! I thought
242
00:09:02,827 --> 00:09:04,103
I heard you, Zelda.
243
00:09:04,172 --> 00:09:05,827
Ready to sign the papers?
244
00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:17,758
You know what?
245
00:09:17,827 --> 00:09:20,000
I think i'’ll hold
on to my country.
246
00:09:20,068 --> 00:09:21,482
Well, it'’s your country.
247
00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:22,551
It'’s your choice.
248
00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:23,448
Right.
249
00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:24,862
Of course this means war.
250
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:25,862
What?!
251
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:26,931
Change your mind?
252
00:09:26,965 --> 00:09:27,896
No.
253
00:09:27,965 --> 00:09:29,068
Neither did I.
254
00:09:29,137 --> 00:09:30,896
You promised me
255
00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:31,758
that country
256
00:09:31,827 --> 00:09:33,103
and I want it!
257
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,551
Prepare to fight!
258
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:36,793
Fine!
259
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,931
Would this be a good time
260
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,172
to discuss taxes?
261
00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:45,344
How'’d your just
dessert turn out?
262
00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:47,689
Great. But that
little bit of acclaim
263
00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:49,793
has given me
quite a sweet tooth.
264
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:51,137
Don'’t do it, Sabrina.
265
00:09:51,206 --> 00:09:53,517
You were only
supposed to eat one bite.
266
00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:57,379
I know, I know, but a
couple more won'’t hurt.
267
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:01,482
Sabrina...
268
00:10:01,551 --> 00:10:03,482
Way to eat cake!
269
00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:09,758
I can'’t believe
270
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:11,344
I ate the wholecake...
271
00:10:11,413 --> 00:10:13,172
Ooh, crumbs!
272
00:10:14,689 --> 00:10:16,344
Whoa. Sabrina...
273
00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:21,448
The way you closed your
locker, that was awesome.
274
00:10:21,517 --> 00:10:23,275
Yeah, i'’m thinking
of going pro.
275
00:10:26,275 --> 00:10:28,517
Sabrina, do that
again. Do what again?
276
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,000
That thing where you
let oxygen into your mouth
277
00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:32,310
and carbon dioxide out.
278
00:10:32,379 --> 00:10:33,586
You mean breathing?
279
00:10:33,655 --> 00:10:35,034
Yes! That'’s amazing!
280
00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:37,586
[ Gasping]: There you go again!
281
00:10:37,655 --> 00:10:39,482
Oh, you know me...
I'’m a fool when it comes
282
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:40,551
to keeping myself alive.
283
00:10:42,103 --> 00:10:43,482
May I?
284
00:10:43,551 --> 00:10:44,551
Oh.
285
00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:47,620
Zampano, you beast!
286
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,793
It is mine!
287
00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:50,862
You already have her napkin!
288
00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:58,206
Salem: So, milady
289
00:10:58,275 --> 00:11:01,172
now that you and emperor
Larry are at war, might I suggest
290
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:02,482
you leave certain strategies
291
00:11:02,551 --> 00:11:05,241
to minister of
defense saberhagan?
292
00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:06,896
No, you mightn'’t suggest that.
293
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,724
You'’re not my
minister of defense.
294
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,827
You'’re not involved
in this in any way.
295
00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:12,206
Scat.
296
00:11:12,275 --> 00:11:15,551
This is going to be very
awkward to tell my staff.
297
00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:18,482
Rincess, Zelda,
298
00:11:18,551 --> 00:11:22,724
I am but a simple peasant
in roughly woven garments
299
00:11:22,793 --> 00:11:25,137
but may I be your footstool?
300
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,034
Well, okay...
301
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,379
But as long as you
maintain your dignity.
302
00:11:35,103 --> 00:11:37,068
Obviously when Zelda said "scat"
303
00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:38,689
she was speaking in code.
304
00:11:38,758 --> 00:11:41,620
Hmm, let'’s see if I
translate it into esperanto
305
00:11:41,689 --> 00:11:42,862
back into Hebrew...
306
00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,137
Right!
307
00:11:44,206 --> 00:11:47,586
I'’m pretty sure she meant
"destroy emperor Larry
308
00:11:47,655 --> 00:11:51,379
and all he holds dear, so
Salem can rule his country."
309
00:11:51,448 --> 00:11:53,482
Give or take a letter or two.
310
00:11:53,551 --> 00:11:57,068
As you all know I was planning
to give you another test today
311
00:11:57,137 --> 00:11:59,448
but i'’ve decided
to skip the test
312
00:11:59,517 --> 00:12:01,724
and just give Sabrina the "a."
313
00:12:01,793 --> 00:12:03,068
[ Applauding]Thank you.
314
00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:05,206
I even bought party
hats and trail mix
315
00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:07,379
so we can all
celebrate Sabrina'’s "a."
316
00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:08,551
[ Applauding]
317
00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:10,655
Hey, everybody, they
just declared peace in...
318
00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:11,655
Excuse me! What?
319
00:12:11,724 --> 00:12:12,724
Sabrina got an "a."
320
00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:14,517
Wait a minute.
321
00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:16,448
Sabrina got yet another "a"?
322
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:18,517
And, and I Don'’t have a hat.
323
00:12:18,586 --> 00:12:22,724
People who put fawning
down just aren'’t getting any.
324
00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:25,206
[ Evil laughter]
325
00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:27,586
I hope emperor Larry
likes this sleeping potion
326
00:12:27,655 --> 00:12:29,827
because it'’s the last
thing he'’ll ever taste.
327
00:12:29,896 --> 00:12:31,448
[ Evil laughter continues]
328
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,034
Salem, what are you doing?
329
00:12:33,103 --> 00:12:34,034
Um...
330
00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:36,068
Making s'’mores.
331
00:12:36,137 --> 00:12:37,482
Well, Don'’t make a mess.
332
00:12:37,551 --> 00:12:38,965
I'’ve got battles to plan.
333
00:12:39,034 --> 00:12:40,586
I Don'’t have time to clean.
334
00:12:40,655 --> 00:12:42,758
Yeah, i'’m making s'’mores.
335
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:45,551
S'’more poison
for emperor Larry.
336
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,172
[ Evil laughter continues]
337
00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:48,827
Look! It'’s Sabrina!
338
00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:50,206
Whoo-hoo!
339
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:53,793
[ Marching band music]
340
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:00,724
What'’s the parade for?
341
00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:02,689
If they can have a
parade honoring men
342
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:04,379
who have merely
walked on the moon
343
00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:07,068
I think we can have
one honoring a little girl
344
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:09,241
who has done her
literature homework.
345
00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:13,448
[ Playing march]
346
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,034
A letter from the other realm.
347
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,724
Zampano, you could
have just brought the letter.
348
00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:28,137
You didn'’t need to bring
349
00:13:28,206 --> 00:13:29,482
the scalding toaster.
350
00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:31,586
Oh, it'’s from the
witches'’ council.
351
00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:32,965
They want to have a dinner
352
00:13:33,034 --> 00:13:35,241
honoring my achievements
in math and science.
353
00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:36,655
That'’s wonderful.
354
00:13:36,724 --> 00:13:40,103
But what is this math and
science of which you speak?
355
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:43,379
My work. You said you
admired all my work.
356
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,965
That we'’ve seen so far.
357
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,379
Then you just adore me
358
00:13:47,448 --> 00:13:49,896
because you think you
should, not because I deserve it.
359
00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:51,448
I'’ve got to find emperor Larry.
360
00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:52,517
[ Explosion]
361
00:13:52,551 --> 00:13:54,724
Great. We'’re under attack.
362
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:57,137
This assembly was
called to honor everyone
363
00:13:57,206 --> 00:13:59,586
who worked so hard
on the walk for orphans.
364
00:14:01,103 --> 00:14:02,655
I didn'’t know there
was an assembly.
365
00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:04,413
But we'’ve decided to turn it
366
00:14:04,482 --> 00:14:07,137
into the first annual
Sabrina awards instead.
367
00:14:07,206 --> 00:14:09,448
All right, show'’s
over, do-gooders.
368
00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,275
Take a seat. Go on.
369
00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:12,344
Hit it.
370
00:14:12,413 --> 00:14:15,793
[ Jazzy intro]
371
00:14:15,862 --> 00:14:18,931
♪ "S" is '’cause
she'’s so sublime ♪
372
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,241
♪ "a" is '’cause ♪
373
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:22,379
♪ she'’s awesome all the time ♪
374
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:25,344
♪ "b" is '’cause she'’s
the best babe in school ♪
375
00:14:25,413 --> 00:14:28,827
♪ "r" is '’cause she
really makes me drool ♪
376
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:31,896
♪ and "i" is for the
icon she'’s become ♪
377
00:14:31,965 --> 00:14:35,000
♪ "n" is '’cause she'’s
great, she makes me numb ♪
378
00:14:35,068 --> 00:14:37,448
♪ and "a", it'’s
redundant to say ♪
379
00:14:37,517 --> 00:14:39,241
♪ is the great marks
she gets everyday ♪
380
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:44,068
♪ no matter how it'’s spelled,
Sabrina is unparalleled ♪
381
00:14:44,137 --> 00:14:47,896
♪ Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina
382
00:14:47,965 --> 00:14:49,827
♪ Sabrina-a-a-a
383
00:14:49,896 --> 00:14:51,827
♪ sa- ♪ bri- ♪ na!
384
00:14:51,896 --> 00:14:52,931
[ Applause and cheering]
385
00:14:56,827 --> 00:14:59,586
Salem, I have to get in
touch with emperor Larry.
386
00:14:59,655 --> 00:15:01,068
I'’ve made a huge mistake.
387
00:15:01,137 --> 00:15:02,275
I wanted recognition.
388
00:15:02,344 --> 00:15:03,275
I didn'’t care...
389
00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:05,000
Look out!
390
00:15:05,068 --> 00:15:06,379
Duck!
391
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,275
Dive!
392
00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:10,689
Salem, what is going on?
393
00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:13,413
I set up a bunch of booby
traps for emperor Larry.
394
00:15:13,482 --> 00:15:14,896
Remember, you told me
395
00:15:14,965 --> 00:15:17,137
to terminate with
extreme prejudice.
396
00:15:17,206 --> 00:15:18,586
I never said that.
397
00:15:18,655 --> 00:15:21,586
Sure, nitpick.
398
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:24,068
Well, I am sure being here
399
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:25,655
at the first annual
Sabrina awards
400
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,517
means there is going to be lots
401
00:15:27,586 --> 00:15:29,103
of entertainment tonight.
402
00:15:30,551 --> 00:15:31,551
[ Chuckling]
403
00:15:31,586 --> 00:15:34,137
Geez, who writes this garbage?
404
00:15:34,206 --> 00:15:36,931
Well, that... That would be me.
405
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,724
Um, it'’s you again.
406
00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:40,275
And the nominees
407
00:15:40,344 --> 00:15:43,620
for best "relaxed
Sabrina moment" are
408
00:15:43,689 --> 00:15:46,965
Sabrina eating lunch.
409
00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:50,896
Sabrina leafing through
a magazine in study hall.
410
00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:52,275
Sabrina humming
411
00:15:52,344 --> 00:15:54,034
a phantom planet song she heard
412
00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:56,586
on the radio that morning
and can'’t get out of her head.
413
00:15:58,068 --> 00:16:00,724
Sabrina at this very moment.
414
00:16:03,724 --> 00:16:05,827
And the Sabrina goes to...
415
00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:07,206
Open it, open it, open it.
416
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:08,965
Oh, my goodness,
the Sabrina goes
417
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:12,413
to Sabrina spellman.
418
00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:19,034
Oh, what a beautiful award.
419
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,310
Um, well, the sabrinas
are such an honor
420
00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:23,379
and i'’d just like
to share this award
421
00:16:23,448 --> 00:16:25,965
with everyone else
nominated in this category.
422
00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:27,137
Thank you.
423
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,551
♪
424
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,827
♪ I can'’t get enough
of you, baby ♪
425
00:16:38,896 --> 00:16:42,517
♪ right or wrong
426
00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,551
♪ baby, right or wrong
427
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:51,379
♪ when you had to
go, I hated the thought ♪
428
00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:55,206
♪ I only wish the night
was twice as long ♪
429
00:16:55,275 --> 00:17:00,517
♪ my heart cries
out more, baby ♪
430
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,000
♪ I love you so much
431
00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:10,068
♪ I wish that there was
more of you to touch ♪
432
00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:13,517
♪ I can'’t get enough
of you, baby ♪
433
00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:18,241
♪ I can'’t get enough
of you, baby... ♪
434
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:21,241
So, massapequa
park is all yours.
435
00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:22,758
I surrender.
436
00:17:22,827 --> 00:17:24,034
No-o-o.
437
00:17:24,103 --> 00:17:25,689
[ Laughing]
438
00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:27,275
Excellent.
439
00:17:27,344 --> 00:17:29,172
Uh, can I make a quick call?
440
00:17:29,241 --> 00:17:30,310
Certainly.
441
00:17:30,379 --> 00:17:32,310
If I can get my sentry
on the cell phone
442
00:17:32,379 --> 00:17:34,689
I might be able to call
off that napalm attack.
443
00:17:34,758 --> 00:17:38,103
Rincess Zelda, your
scones are ready.
444
00:17:38,172 --> 00:17:40,758
Oh, i'’m so glad you'’re here.
445
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,103
I'’ve decided to
abdicate my throne.
446
00:17:43,172 --> 00:17:45,310
I blame you.
447
00:17:45,379 --> 00:17:47,931
No, no, no. Look, maybe
I should go to my country
448
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,724
and explain my decision
to the rest of the population.
449
00:17:50,793 --> 00:17:52,655
You mean isadore?
450
00:17:52,724 --> 00:17:53,620
Is that the capital?
451
00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:55,344
No. Isadore is a man...
452
00:17:55,413 --> 00:17:58,000
The rest of the
population, in fact.
453
00:17:58,068 --> 00:18:00,344
You want him, Don'’tyou?
454
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,448
Only three people
live in my country?
455
00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:03,586
Yes, and despite that
456
00:18:03,655 --> 00:18:06,241
parking is still a nightmare.
457
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:07,689
Come on, Sabrina. They'’re about
458
00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:08,896
to announce another winner
459
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:09,965
and it could be you.
460
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,172
Oh, i'’ll tell you what.
461
00:18:11,241 --> 00:18:12,724
Why Don'’t you go accept for me?
462
00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:15,172
Oh! I'’ll be sure to
mention that you'’re
463
00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:17,517
for native Americans
and against fur.
464
00:18:17,586 --> 00:18:18,586
Okay.
465
00:18:20,827 --> 00:18:23,724
Oh, Sabrina, congratulations.
466
00:18:23,793 --> 00:18:26,862
I just knew you'’d win for
best supporting Sabrina.
467
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:29,586
Gordie, you really worked hard
for those orphans, didn'’t you?
468
00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:32,965
Well... aw, heck,
not as hard as you did
469
00:18:33,034 --> 00:18:35,482
on that jumble this morning.
470
00:18:35,551 --> 00:18:37,517
Well, I did use ink.
471
00:18:37,586 --> 00:18:40,689
But... well, I feel awful.
472
00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:42,896
And the winner is...
473
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:43,896
Look at this.
474
00:18:43,965 --> 00:18:45,517
We have a tie.
475
00:18:45,586 --> 00:18:47,103
Sabrina and Sabrina.
476
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:50,551
Stop it.
477
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:51,689
Stop it!
478
00:18:51,758 --> 00:18:53,448
Sit down, for crying out loud.
479
00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:54,689
Look...
480
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,965
All I wanted was
a little recognition
481
00:18:57,034 --> 00:18:58,413
for doing a good job
482
00:18:58,482 --> 00:18:59,827
but not at the expense
483
00:18:59,896 --> 00:19:02,034
of those who are truly deserving
484
00:19:02,103 --> 00:19:03,965
so i'’m giving all my sabrinas
485
00:19:04,034 --> 00:19:06,241
to gordie and the
other do-gooders.
486
00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:10,655
Here you go.
487
00:19:10,724 --> 00:19:12,000
What'’s Sabrina doing?
488
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,344
This never happens at
the American music awards.
489
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:15,724
Cue the band. Cue the band.
490
00:19:15,793 --> 00:19:17,344
Sabrina: So it turns out
491
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:20,793
constant praise isn'’t
all it'’s cracked up to be.
492
00:19:20,862 --> 00:19:23,310
From now on, all I want
my hard work to bring me
493
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:24,827
is a high school diploma
494
00:19:24,896 --> 00:19:26,344
admittance to a good college
495
00:19:26,413 --> 00:19:28,965
and a high-paying job
with benefits, but that'’s it.
496
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,206
I'’m sorry. I should
have been more helpful.
497
00:19:31,275 --> 00:19:33,620
If I hadn'’t been so busy
thinking about myself
498
00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:34,896
I would have remembered
499
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,206
to tell you that good
work is its own reward.
500
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:38,758
But how do I end this spell now
501
00:19:38,827 --> 00:19:40,931
without winning a
pulitzer for my book report?
502
00:19:42,172 --> 00:19:45,034
Eat this and the
spell will be reversed.
503
00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,206
What is it?
504
00:19:46,275 --> 00:19:47,862
Humble pie.
505
00:19:50,103 --> 00:19:51,655
Oh, it'’s awful!
506
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,724
Oh, i'’ll never get the taste
of humility out of my mouth.
507
00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:56,517
Well, i'’d love to sit and chat
508
00:19:56,586 --> 00:20:00,206
but I am being honored
in the other realm... finally.
509
00:20:00,275 --> 00:20:02,172
Excuse me, your
majesty, but it seems
510
00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:04,586
someone else could
use a piece of humble pie.
511
00:20:04,655 --> 00:20:07,137
But it was a really
hard problem.
512
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,172
Well, all right, but
just a small piece.
513
00:20:12,241 --> 00:20:14,000
Zelda! Let me make one more plea
514
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,206
for rethinking
515
00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:16,931
this surrender foolishness.
516
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,724
I just know Larry'’s
rear flank is vulnerable.
517
00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:22,620
Salem, as someone once
said to Alexander the great
518
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:23,689
"have some pie."
519
00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:25,793
[ Crying]
520
00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:29,206
Another c-plus?
521
00:20:29,275 --> 00:20:30,862
Yes!
522
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,000
Nice work, Harvey.
523
00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:33,241
B-minus.
524
00:20:33,310 --> 00:20:34,827
Nice work, Valerie.
525
00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:36,551
"A."
526
00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:37,896
Nice work, Sabrina.
527
00:20:37,965 --> 00:20:39,172
Once again, you get an "a"
528
00:20:39,241 --> 00:20:40,931
and nobody makes
a big deal out of it.
529
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,448
Yes!
530
00:20:49,758 --> 00:20:51,551
Next time let'’s
try to have a nice
531
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:53,068
visit without going to war.
532
00:20:53,137 --> 00:20:55,827
Well, it won'’t be as
much fun, but okay.
533
00:20:55,896 --> 00:20:57,655
Ooh, uh, I almost forgot.
534
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,103
For you.
535
00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:00,310
A horn.
536
00:21:00,379 --> 00:21:01,379
Let me guess:
537
00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:02,620
It'’s weird, makes no sense
538
00:21:02,689 --> 00:21:03,931
I Don'’t know why I have it...
539
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,827
It must be a clue
to the family secret.
540
00:21:05,896 --> 00:21:08,965
You have got great
deductive skills, Sabrina.
541
00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:10,896
Maybe one day you can join
542
00:21:10,965 --> 00:21:13,206
one of my secret death squads.
543
00:21:15,068 --> 00:21:17,275
Huh, he'’s kind
of fun for a tyrant.
544
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,827
Will we see him again?
545
00:21:18,896 --> 00:21:20,034
Probably, at the post-war
546
00:21:20,103 --> 00:21:21,172
reconstruction summit.
547
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:24,689
Well, somebody has to clean up
548
00:21:24,758 --> 00:21:26,172
the punji sticks
in our front yard.
549
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:27,281
Oh, Salem, did you get rid
550
00:21:27,344 --> 00:21:28,344
of all those booby traps?
551
00:21:28,379 --> 00:21:31,586
Absolutely.
552
00:21:31,655 --> 00:21:34,103
What exactly happened
while I was at school today?
37878
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