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1
00:00:02,551 --> 00:00:04,379
You started your
report yet? Almost.
2
00:00:04,448 --> 00:00:06,793
Everyone knows a
good paper'’s 30% writing
3
00:00:06,862 --> 00:00:09,172
70% color-coordinating
your highlighters.
4
00:00:09,241 --> 00:00:10,724
If and when you dostart it
5
00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:13,241
you'’ll have a nice,
quiet place to work in.
6
00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:14,827
Zelda and I are taking a trip.
7
00:00:14,896 --> 00:00:17,241
Is that a euphemism
for plastic surgery?
8
00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:19,758
We haven'’t decided
where we'’re vacationing yet
9
00:00:19,827 --> 00:00:21,758
although hilda is
pushing for Atlantis.
10
00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:23,103
The kelp is in full bloom.
11
00:00:23,172 --> 00:00:25,517
Will you be all right
alone while we'’re away?
12
00:00:25,586 --> 00:00:28,379
I'’ve never had the
house to myself before.
13
00:00:28,448 --> 00:00:30,344
I'’ve got to call val.
14
00:00:32,172 --> 00:00:33,793
Right after I finish my paper.
15
00:00:33,862 --> 00:00:35,068
Such a good girl.
16
00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:36,310
And so trustworthy.
17
00:00:36,379 --> 00:00:37,793
What a coincidence.
18
00:00:37,862 --> 00:00:40,379
The topic of my
paper is child abuse.
19
00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:58,965
Let them eat cake.
20
00:00:59,034 --> 00:01:00,620
But save me some.
21
00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:05,551
Need a hand? No, thanks.
22
00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:07,448
Do you mind?
23
00:01:07,517 --> 00:01:09,793
Check this out: "Time-space
continuum excursions."
24
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,448
Three days, two nights
and you come back younger.
25
00:01:12,517 --> 00:01:14,724
Oh, let'’s try something
really different.
26
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:16,172
"The third ring of saturn.
27
00:01:16,241 --> 00:01:17,862
Now with single-deck Blackjack."
28
00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:20,965
Let'’s go see the world'’s
largest ball of twine.
29
00:01:21,034 --> 00:01:21,931
Twine?
30
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,241
One question: Why?
31
00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:25,620
Please let the answer
be that you have a fever.
32
00:01:25,689 --> 00:01:27,344
T-t-t-twine?
33
00:01:27,413 --> 00:01:28,827
Is that the brochure?
34
00:01:28,896 --> 00:01:31,482
And, if so, can I
keep it in my basket?
35
00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:32,551
Come on, hilda.
36
00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:34,172
We always go to the other realm
37
00:01:34,241 --> 00:01:36,482
but we never get to
see any real americana.
38
00:01:36,551 --> 00:01:38,517
At least tell me it'’s
somewhere exotic.
39
00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:41,103
It'’s in Kansas.
40
00:01:41,172 --> 00:01:43,724
Oh, the Paris of the midwest.
41
00:01:43,793 --> 00:01:46,034
Do you think this knapsack
would accommodate
42
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:48,172
a substantial ball of twine?
43
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,000
Why?
44
00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:50,517
Just asking.
45
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:51,586
Oh, great.
46
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:53,344
It'’s the green hornet.
47
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:55,310
So, how'’s the report coming?
48
00:01:55,379 --> 00:01:57,793
I believe it will
garner a fine grade.
49
00:01:57,862 --> 00:01:59,517
Still haven'’t started yet.
50
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:00,655
Nope.
51
00:02:00,724 --> 00:02:01,724
It will be tough.
52
00:02:01,758 --> 00:02:02,931
You have to sign up
53
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,896
for community service
in the other realm.
54
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:06,620
But I didn'’t do anything wrong!
55
00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:08,586
Community service
isn'’t just something
56
00:02:08,655 --> 00:02:10,551
professional athletes
do to avoid jail.
57
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:11,827
Giving to the community
58
00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:13,655
makes you feel
good about yourself.
59
00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:16,000
But I already feel
fabulous about myself.
60
00:02:16,068 --> 00:02:17,206
I love me.
61
00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:18,965
If you want your
witch'’s license
62
00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:21,620
you have to do charity
work and give it your all.
63
00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:22,965
You can'’t phone it in.
64
00:02:23,034 --> 00:02:24,206
Okay, get off my back.
65
00:02:24,275 --> 00:02:25,655
I'’ll help others. Let'’s go.
66
00:02:25,724 --> 00:02:27,586
Sorry. You have
to do it on your own.
67
00:02:27,655 --> 00:02:30,000
Fine.
68
00:02:30,068 --> 00:02:30,655
What'’s this?
69
00:02:30,724 --> 00:02:31,655
My homework.
70
00:02:31,724 --> 00:02:32,655
Give it your all
71
00:02:32,724 --> 00:02:34,103
and Don'’t just phone it in.
72
00:02:36,172 --> 00:02:37,965
Oh, man. Walden.
73
00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:40,586
Nothing happens in this book.
74
00:02:40,655 --> 00:02:42,758
Maybe something'’ll
jump out at me.
75
00:02:42,827 --> 00:02:44,862
"Washing old witches"?
76
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,827
Nope. And, may I add, gross.
77
00:02:47,896 --> 00:02:49,275
Hi. Hi.
78
00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:51,379
"Easy way out." This
shouldn'’t be too hard.
79
00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:52,620
That'’s what i'’m hoping.
80
00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:54,862
Plus, it'’s being
run by my uncle.
81
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,965
Hello, young lady.
82
00:02:58,034 --> 00:02:59,034
Dashiell.
83
00:02:59,103 --> 00:03:00,793
I always get misty
whenever I see
84
00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:02,517
that there are
young people today
85
00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:05,103
who still believe in the
old-fashioned values
86
00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:06,758
of community service.
87
00:03:08,448 --> 00:03:09,724
Bobby calzone.
88
00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:11,068
Sabrina spellman.
89
00:03:11,137 --> 00:03:13,931
Hi. I see you'’ve met
my nephew dashiell.
90
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,000
A good, fine young
witch for a half-mortal.
91
00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:18,862
Hey, i'’m half-mortal, too.
92
00:03:18,931 --> 00:03:20,068
You right-handed?
93
00:03:20,137 --> 00:03:22,862
Yeah! Wow, it'’s like
looking in a mirror.
94
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,310
You know, here at easy way out
95
00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:28,103
we'’re always on the lookout
96
00:03:28,172 --> 00:03:30,689
for a few specialwitches
like yourself.
97
00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:32,655
This is real community
service, right?
98
00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:34,413
'’cause I promised
my quizmaster...
99
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:36,275
You'’ll be working
at the rumor mill.
100
00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:37,344
How'’s that for real?
101
00:03:37,413 --> 00:03:38,275
Is that good?
102
00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:39,448
In this realm
103
00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:40,931
rumors are considered to be
104
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,793
the highest form
of entertainment.
105
00:03:42,862 --> 00:03:44,793
Think riverdance
with a conscience.
106
00:03:44,862 --> 00:03:46,655
But I always thought
rumors were bad.
107
00:03:46,724 --> 00:03:47,758
How mortal.
108
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,103
Trust me, kiddo.
109
00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:50,689
The rumor mill is the u.S.O.
110
00:03:50,758 --> 00:03:52,275
Of witchly community service.
111
00:03:52,344 --> 00:03:53,379
A moral builder.
112
00:03:53,448 --> 00:03:54,724
As a matter of fact
113
00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:57,724
rumors have been proven
to make witches healthier.
114
00:03:57,793 --> 00:03:59,379
Wow, I feel more noble already.
115
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,103
Come on, witches need our help.
116
00:04:01,172 --> 00:04:03,000
Let'’s start our first
smear campaign.
117
00:04:04,689 --> 00:04:07,103
Okay, i'’m ready
to hit the open road.
118
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:09,724
"I'’m with stupid"?
119
00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:11,034
Don'’t personalize it.
120
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:13,551
I'’m just trying to blend
in with middle america.
121
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,034
Fine. Put your stuff
in the pickup I rented.
122
00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:18,172
What? Are they
out of dump trucks?
123
00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:19,896
It'’ll be fun.
124
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:23,206
For an all-American journey,
an all-American vehicle.
125
00:04:23,275 --> 00:04:24,620
All right, let'’s go.
126
00:04:24,689 --> 00:04:26,655
I call shotgun.
127
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,206
Salem, you'’re not going.
128
00:04:28,275 --> 00:04:29,827
You have to stay with Sabrina.
129
00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:30,965
What?
130
00:04:31,034 --> 00:04:32,517
You didn'’t think we'’d leave
131
00:04:32,586 --> 00:04:34,482
a teenager home
alone, unsupervised?
132
00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:36,103
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
133
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:38,896
Are you telling me that
this family is going to see
134
00:04:38,965 --> 00:04:40,689
the world'’s
largest ball of twine
135
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,965
and the cat isn'’t coming?
136
00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:44,344
Sorry.
137
00:04:44,413 --> 00:04:45,862
With all due respect, ladies
138
00:04:45,931 --> 00:04:48,344
would I leave you behind
if I were going to see
139
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,379
the world'’s largest
eligible bachelor?
140
00:04:50,448 --> 00:04:52,931
Yes, if our entire goal
was to unravel him.
141
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,034
Hey, Don'’t forget
to water the plants
142
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:56,379
and bring in the mail.
143
00:04:56,448 --> 00:04:58,379
[ Sobbing]
144
00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:01,586
You know, in cold blood
took place in Kansas.
145
00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:03,310
[ Sobbing]
146
00:05:03,379 --> 00:05:05,793
Welcome to the rumor mill.
147
00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:08,448
We spread more
rumors by 9:00 A.M.
148
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,758
Than most
hairdressers do all day.
149
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:12,344
Is it always this busy?
150
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:15,517
I'’m going to guess you guys
Don'’t get government funds.
151
00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:16,896
Hey, hey, hey.
152
00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:19,413
This room brings more
joy to downtrodden witches
153
00:05:19,482 --> 00:05:21,000
than a thousand soup kitchens.
154
00:05:21,068 --> 00:05:22,517
Really? It seems run-down.
155
00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:24,724
Well, if i'’m lying, i'’m dying.
156
00:05:24,793 --> 00:05:25,827
Now, listen up.
157
00:05:25,896 --> 00:05:27,103
Here'’s how it works.
158
00:05:27,172 --> 00:05:29,793
First, you think
up a juicy rumor.
159
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,448
For instance, oh,
I Don'’t know...
160
00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:37,275
Say, Sabrina'’s
quizmaster wears a skirt.
161
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:41,793
Then you Chuck your rumor
into this black hole right here.
162
00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:43,068
Word gets out
163
00:05:43,137 --> 00:05:44,448
and, hey! Presto.
164
00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:46,310
The masses are entertained.
165
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,034
In some cases, even healed.
166
00:05:48,103 --> 00:05:50,241
And my quizmaster
won'’t mind wearing a skirt?
167
00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:51,379
Rumors aren'’t true.
168
00:05:51,448 --> 00:05:52,758
They'’re just entertainment.
169
00:05:52,827 --> 00:05:54,758
Like pro wrestling.
170
00:05:54,827 --> 00:05:56,586
Whoops, I got a stromboli stand
171
00:05:56,655 --> 00:05:58,206
on the south side of the realm
172
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,689
and it Don'’t run without me.
173
00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:00,931
So, are we set here?
174
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:01,931
Sure.
175
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,655
Beautiful. Go get '’em.
176
00:06:03,724 --> 00:06:05,448
Where do we begin?
177
00:06:05,517 --> 00:06:06,931
I Don'’t know many witches.
178
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,413
I live in the mortal realm.
179
00:06:08,482 --> 00:06:09,758
Really? Me, too.
180
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:11,379
Revere, Massachusetts.
181
00:06:11,448 --> 00:06:13,931
Westbridge. You guys
had that huge linebacker
182
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,689
who pulverized our quarterback.
183
00:06:15,758 --> 00:06:18,206
Then the game started,
and things really got bad.
184
00:06:18,275 --> 00:06:19,275
Maybe we should
185
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,206
start rumors about
people we know.
186
00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:23,172
Would other-realmers
care about them?
187
00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:25,310
My uncle said all
rumors are entertaining.
188
00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:27,827
We might as well entertain
ourselves in the process.
189
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,103
"Mike Stratton,
revere linebacker
190
00:06:32,172 --> 00:06:35,655
is also the captain of the
synchronized swim team."
191
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:37,517
I like charity.
192
00:06:37,586 --> 00:06:38,758
[ Chuckles]
193
00:06:40,172 --> 00:06:41,758
Okay.
194
00:06:41,827 --> 00:06:44,000
Here goes.
195
00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:46,206
Libby chessler is so mean
196
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,896
her parents made her move out.
197
00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:49,896
Let me guess.
198
00:06:49,965 --> 00:06:51,034
Cheerleader.
199
00:06:53,206 --> 00:06:55,586
Hey, this is fun.
200
00:06:55,655 --> 00:06:58,172
The best part about it
is we'’re helping witches.
201
00:06:58,241 --> 00:07:00,241
Without having to
clip their toenails.
202
00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:04,172
♪
203
00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:36,517
♪
204
00:07:47,275 --> 00:07:50,103
We pulled the best
community service.
205
00:07:50,172 --> 00:07:53,448
Yeah, but I think washing
old witches would be fun, too...
206
00:07:53,517 --> 00:07:55,344
If I got to do it with you.
207
00:07:56,689 --> 00:07:57,965
The hills are alive
208
00:07:58,034 --> 00:07:59,827
with the sound of gossip.
209
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,517
And we used up all
the paper, uncle c.
210
00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:05,034
Nice work. We haven'’t
had so many rumors started
211
00:08:05,103 --> 00:08:06,862
since Walter
winchell worked here.
212
00:08:06,931 --> 00:08:08,000
Now you two better
213
00:08:08,068 --> 00:08:09,413
skedaddle on home.
214
00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:10,620
So soon?
215
00:08:10,689 --> 00:08:12,793
I guess it'’s back
to the mortal realm.
216
00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:15,103
Want to get there
through my laundry chute?
217
00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:17,103
Sure. Hey, you
know, I was thinking
218
00:08:17,172 --> 00:08:18,793
maybe i'’d volunteer here again
219
00:08:18,862 --> 00:08:20,172
like, tomorrow at 3:00.
220
00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,655
How about 3:15?
221
00:08:21,724 --> 00:08:23,448
You didn'’t let me finish.
222
00:08:23,517 --> 00:08:26,448
Like... 3:15.
223
00:08:27,551 --> 00:08:29,689
I just hope our rumors
made an impact.
224
00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:32,206
Trust me.
225
00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:36,206
Just because my parents
have threatened to evict me
226
00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:38,586
doesn'’t mean
they'’ve stopped caring.
227
00:08:38,655 --> 00:08:40,000
That'’s weird.
228
00:08:40,068 --> 00:08:42,655
That sounds just like that
rumor I started about Libby.
229
00:08:42,724 --> 00:08:44,413
Oh, pumpkin, we
mustn'’t. It'’s wrong.
230
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,758
Not wrong.
231
00:08:45,827 --> 00:08:47,310
Inappropriate, perhaps
232
00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:48,310
but I say
233
00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:51,586
the heck with it.
234
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:54,034
I love your fire.
235
00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:57,413
Okay, and that sounds very
similar to that other rumor I...
236
00:08:57,482 --> 00:08:58,275
Sabrina
237
00:08:58,344 --> 00:08:59,827
do you have any veal and jelly
238
00:08:59,896 --> 00:09:00,896
in your locker?
239
00:09:00,965 --> 00:09:02,551
I have this tremendous craving.
240
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:04,103
Harvey, please tell me
241
00:09:04,172 --> 00:09:06,103
you'’re having a
bad love-handle day.
242
00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:07,551
It'’s weird.
243
00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:09,103
None of my clothes fit.
244
00:09:09,172 --> 00:09:10,758
My breasts are tender.
245
00:09:10,827 --> 00:09:12,793
I'’m going to be sick.
246
00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,103
Okay, and that'’s
the rumor I started
247
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:17,758
about Harvey being pregnant.
248
00:09:17,827 --> 00:09:19,103
That settles it.
249
00:09:19,172 --> 00:09:21,034
This is a major coincidence.
250
00:09:25,413 --> 00:09:27,206
Aunt hilda! Aunt Zelda!
251
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,517
Is anybody home?
252
00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:36,310
Salem, what'’s going on?
253
00:09:36,379 --> 00:09:37,655
Oh, shoot.
254
00:09:39,689 --> 00:09:40,620
Ah, Sabrina.
255
00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:42,827
I want you to meet the heads
256
00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:45,068
of the four families
of westbridge.
257
00:09:45,137 --> 00:09:46,517
Don calamari...
258
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,551
How you doing?
259
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:51,482
Salem: Don
ameche, Don tutti frutti
260
00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:54,655
and, of course, ♪
Don, da-Don-Don.
261
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,827
Hi. Nice to meet you.
262
00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,448
Salem, you'’re not in the mafia.
263
00:09:58,517 --> 00:10:00,344
It was just a rumor.
264
00:10:00,413 --> 00:10:02,827
[ All laughing]
265
00:10:02,896 --> 00:10:04,034
Gentlemen, you will
266
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,137
have to forgive
my little friend.
267
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,310
Sometimes she talks
268
00:10:07,379 --> 00:10:09,758
when she should be
reading her magic book.
269
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:11,206
Then she would know rumors
270
00:10:11,275 --> 00:10:12,655
started in the other realm
271
00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:15,103
become truths in
the mortal realm.
272
00:10:15,172 --> 00:10:17,172
Oh, well, in that
case, Don Salem
273
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:20,172
on this day, the day of
your daughter'’s wedding
274
00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:21,379
how do I make it stop?
275
00:10:21,448 --> 00:10:22,586
You Don'’t.
276
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,793
Some of us like
being mafia bosses.
277
00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:25,793
Me? I like it.
278
00:10:25,862 --> 00:10:27,586
I get to wear a cool suit.
279
00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:29,379
You want I should whack her?
280
00:10:29,448 --> 00:10:32,931
No. Nothing happens to Sabrina
while her mother'’s still alive.
281
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,000
Gee, thanks.
282
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,620
I'’ll go ask my aunts for help.
283
00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:37,344
You didn'’t start
284
00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:38,517
a rumor about them?
285
00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:40,379
No, I... oh, no!
286
00:10:40,448 --> 00:10:42,448
When you said you
wanted to navigate
287
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,862
I assumed it was because
you could read a map.
288
00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:46,172
And I can.
289
00:10:46,241 --> 00:10:48,965
We are right in front
of that... terrifying thing!
290
00:10:51,758 --> 00:10:54,034
But where have they
been abducted to?
291
00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:55,931
I got a warehouse
near the waterfront
292
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,172
for that kind of stuff.
293
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,965
Scusi, don tutti frutti
294
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,068
not that kind of abduction.
295
00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:02,068
But grazie.
296
00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:03,310
Prego.
297
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,793
Zelda, can you use your finger?
298
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:09,000
No. Can you?
299
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,000
No.
300
00:11:10,068 --> 00:11:11,551
Well, I hope you'’re happy.
301
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:14,172
Oh, sure, it may not
be a huge ball of twine
302
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,862
but aliens are pretty nifty.
303
00:11:15,931 --> 00:11:18,551
Well, if you could navigate,
we wouldn'’t be here.
304
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,827
This is my fourth
abduction this month.
305
00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:23,965
My wife'’s gonna kill me if i'’m
late with the ice cream again.
306
00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:26,103
Zelda: Perhaps this
gentleman can teach you
307
00:11:26,172 --> 00:11:28,551
how to tell when the
map is upside down.
308
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:29,620
[ Electronic buzz]
309
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,275
Say it, Don'’t spray it.
310
00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:34,482
That means he'’s ready
to remove all your organs.
311
00:11:34,551 --> 00:11:36,413
But watch it.
312
00:11:36,482 --> 00:11:37,965
He'’s got cold hands...
313
00:11:38,034 --> 00:11:39,620
Or actually, tentacles.
314
00:11:39,689 --> 00:11:41,000
Isn'’t that quaint?
315
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,344
Back off, shorty!
316
00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:43,758
You Don'’t understand.
317
00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:46,482
You'’re next, and if he
Don'’t operate on you, then...
318
00:11:46,551 --> 00:11:48,172
I'’ll tell you whose fault
319
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,000
this is.
320
00:11:49,068 --> 00:11:49,931
It is not.
321
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:50,793
No, hilda.
322
00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:52,137
There'’s a third witch
323
00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:53,620
we haven'’t factored in.
324
00:11:53,689 --> 00:11:55,068
Ladies first.
325
00:11:55,137 --> 00:11:56,137
Sabrina.
326
00:11:58,275 --> 00:11:59,862
Thanks a lot.
327
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:02,827
I rarely use my liver.
328
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:06,068
Harvey, how'’d you
get so pregnant so fast?
329
00:12:06,137 --> 00:12:07,413
How should I know!
330
00:12:07,482 --> 00:12:08,724
Get off my back!
331
00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:11,310
Sorry, Sabrina.
332
00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:14,241
I'’m just kind of
emotional these days.
333
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:15,413
It'’s okay.
334
00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:16,965
I'’ll figure something out.
335
00:12:17,034 --> 00:12:19,206
Somebody better
figure something out
336
00:12:19,275 --> 00:12:21,448
because these are
not birthing hips.
337
00:12:21,517 --> 00:12:22,655
Libby, what'’s wrong?
338
00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:24,724
My parents have kicked me out.
339
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:26,206
Oh, I had no idea.
340
00:12:26,275 --> 00:12:29,724
And I had absolutely
nothing to do with it.
341
00:12:29,793 --> 00:12:31,827
My mom says they
Don'’t love me anymore.
342
00:12:31,896 --> 00:12:33,379
My dad says they never did.
343
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:34,620
What am I going to do?
344
00:12:34,689 --> 00:12:35,793
I'’m so sorry.
345
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:41,724
I'’m never going to
do that to my baby.
346
00:12:43,517 --> 00:12:44,896
I'’ve got to find calzone.
347
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,517
That'’s sounds really good.
348
00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:48,137
With chocolate sauce on it.
349
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:52,310
Oh, Willard, Willard, Willard.
350
00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:55,137
Call me viceprincipal kraft.
351
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,344
Oh!
352
00:12:56,413 --> 00:12:57,655
Oh, get a room!
353
00:13:02,068 --> 00:13:05,000
Calzone, you better
show your face.
354
00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:06,275
He'’s not here.
355
00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:07,448
We'’ve got to find him.
356
00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:08,724
All my rumors came true.
357
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:10,068
I know. So did mine.
358
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,034
There'’s a very nice
boy in westbridge
359
00:13:12,103 --> 00:13:14,413
who'’s staring down
the barrel of a c-section.
360
00:13:14,482 --> 00:13:15,965
You think I like this?
361
00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:17,551
My sister'’s a unicorn.
362
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:19,517
It'’s all your sleazy
uncle'’s fault.
363
00:13:19,586 --> 00:13:20,586
Hold on now.
364
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:22,310
We need some advice.
365
00:13:22,379 --> 00:13:24,896
Can your quizmaster be trusted?
366
00:13:24,965 --> 00:13:26,068
We better hope so.
367
00:13:26,137 --> 00:13:27,586
He'’s our only shot.
368
00:13:27,655 --> 00:13:30,931
Quizmaster, quizmaster,
helping others is great.
369
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,965
Now get your butt in
here before it'’s too late.
370
00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:35,758
There'’s a rumor going around
371
00:13:35,827 --> 00:13:37,482
that you have something to do
372
00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:39,000
with this hemline.
373
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:43,827
I cannot abide a cat who would
let his owners give him a name
374
00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:46,172
that robs him of respect.
375
00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:48,275
What would you have
us do, Don Salem?
376
00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:49,896
Whack fluffy.
377
00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:51,655
I'’ll send two of my best guys.
378
00:13:51,724 --> 00:13:53,103
No, wait.
379
00:13:53,172 --> 00:13:55,965
I want that cat to wake up
with a mouse head in his bed.
380
00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:57,172
Of course, godfather.
381
00:13:57,241 --> 00:14:00,137
On second thought,
bring methe mouse head.
382
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,241
I'’m beginning to
feel sorry for Libby.
383
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:04,103
That'’s how bad
things have gotten.
384
00:14:04,172 --> 00:14:06,241
I told you not to take
the easy way out.
385
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:07,965
No, you said not to phone it in.
386
00:14:08,034 --> 00:14:10,689
The guy said that rumors
help in the other realm.
387
00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:11,758
You believed him?
388
00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:13,586
You know rumors are bad things.
389
00:14:13,655 --> 00:14:15,344
A lot of things I used to know
390
00:14:15,413 --> 00:14:16,896
turned out to be not true.
391
00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:19,000
I used to be sure
people couldn'’t fly!
392
00:14:19,068 --> 00:14:20,379
Oh, shoot.
393
00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:21,206
That reminds me.
394
00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:22,206
I gave
395
00:14:22,275 --> 00:14:24,206
my cousin Lillian bat wings.
396
00:14:29,448 --> 00:14:30,517
Hilda, I noticed
397
00:14:30,586 --> 00:14:33,034
something while they
were examining him.
398
00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:35,068
Yeah, he should get
that mole checked.
399
00:14:35,137 --> 00:14:35,862
No.
400
00:14:35,931 --> 00:14:37,275
They undid his restraints
401
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,172
in order to conduct
the experiment.
402
00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:41,724
I bet we can trick them
into freeing our arms.
403
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,275
Then we zap ourselves home.
404
00:14:43,344 --> 00:14:45,137
No. We can'’t
override this magic.
405
00:14:45,206 --> 00:14:46,448
We can hit them.
406
00:14:46,517 --> 00:14:48,689
Yes, and provided
you Don'’t navigate
407
00:14:48,758 --> 00:14:50,586
we can steer this baby home.
408
00:14:50,655 --> 00:14:53,517
Please, before
they touch me again.
409
00:14:53,586 --> 00:14:56,034
Oh, you love it.
410
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,241
Who is your quizmaster?
411
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,517
My uncle calzone.
412
00:14:58,586 --> 00:14:59,517
Calzone?
413
00:14:59,586 --> 00:15:00,689
I know him.
414
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,689
Do me a favor and go see
415
00:15:02,758 --> 00:15:05,310
if he'’s at his stromboli stand.
416
00:15:05,379 --> 00:15:06,379
Oh, sure.
417
00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:10,275
Are you going to
be okay, Sabrina?
418
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,586
She'’s going to be fine.
419
00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:14,689
That kid is trouble.
420
00:15:14,758 --> 00:15:16,034
What do you mean?
421
00:15:16,103 --> 00:15:17,931
Calzone has a score
to settle with me.
422
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,379
I got him kicked out of
quizmasters for cheating.
423
00:15:20,448 --> 00:15:21,482
Why come after me?
424
00:15:21,551 --> 00:15:23,379
With all respect,
you were the snitch.
425
00:15:23,448 --> 00:15:25,689
Nothing'’s more
embarrassing for a quizmaster
426
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,137
then to have a pupil
fail to get their license.
427
00:15:28,206 --> 00:15:30,689
Although being caught
in that skirt came close.
428
00:15:30,758 --> 00:15:31,931
I won'’t get my license?
429
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,620
After the havoc you wreaked?
430
00:15:33,689 --> 00:15:35,413
Isn'’t there anything I can do?
431
00:15:35,482 --> 00:15:37,241
Well, all the damage
432
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:39,931
you'’ve done will slowly go away
433
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,275
after you start
434
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:44,000
a vicious rumor about yourself.
435
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,896
And make it a good one.
436
00:15:48,793 --> 00:15:52,241
I can'’t even get my grandma
to return my phone calls.
437
00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,793
Sabrina.
438
00:15:53,862 --> 00:15:54,620
Hi, Libby.
439
00:15:54,689 --> 00:15:55,758
I just heard
440
00:15:55,827 --> 00:15:57,551
a rumor about you.
441
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:59,655
I wonder if it'’s true.
442
00:16:01,068 --> 00:16:02,344
I knew it!
443
00:16:02,413 --> 00:16:04,000
You'’ve got no teeth.
444
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:06,896
Sabrina'’s got no teeth.
445
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:09,000
[ All laughing]
446
00:16:11,827 --> 00:16:14,655
I just heard that
Sabrina has no teeth.
447
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:21,000
Eww! Eww!
448
00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:28,448
Whoa!
449
00:16:28,517 --> 00:16:29,689
Hey, Harvey
450
00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:30,862
feeling better?
451
00:16:30,931 --> 00:16:31,862
Yeah.
452
00:16:31,931 --> 00:16:33,068
Must have been eating
453
00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:34,137
way too much salt.
454
00:16:34,206 --> 00:16:35,137
Sabrina...
455
00:16:35,206 --> 00:16:36,000
Yes?
456
00:16:36,068 --> 00:16:37,344
I just wanted you to know
457
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,241
if you ever need
your food pre-chewed
458
00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:40,551
I would do that for you.
459
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,103
[ Lisping]: How sweet.
460
00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:43,931
You always make me smile.
461
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,310
No, Don'’t.
462
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,310
Sabrina, there'’s a
phone call for you.
463
00:16:48,379 --> 00:16:49,793
And could you make it quick?
464
00:16:49,862 --> 00:16:51,172
I need to call
465
00:16:51,241 --> 00:16:53,586
the smart women,
foolish choiceshot line.
466
00:16:53,655 --> 00:16:55,655
I'’d love to move back in, mom.
467
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,137
But before we go into that
468
00:16:57,206 --> 00:17:00,034
you'’ll never believe what'’s
happened at school today.
469
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,344
[ Lisping]: Hello.
470
00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:03,931
Yes, it'’s me.
471
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,724
Of course i'’m willing to
testify against calzone.
472
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,344
I said i'’ll testify.
473
00:17:09,413 --> 00:17:11,793
I said... i'’ll be right there.
474
00:17:11,862 --> 00:17:15,413
Marone, that'’s good sauce.
475
00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:17,103
I add a little garlic, oregano
476
00:17:17,172 --> 00:17:19,034
and then I put
some sugar in there.
477
00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:20,896
That'’s my secret.
That'’s my trick.
478
00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:23,068
It'’s the feds!
479
00:17:23,137 --> 00:17:25,103
They'’re coming to get us.
480
00:17:26,655 --> 00:17:28,586
I plead the fifth.
481
00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:30,068
Oh, nice landing, Zelda.
482
00:17:30,137 --> 00:17:31,896
I didn'’t want to
have children anyway.
483
00:17:31,965 --> 00:17:33,724
I haven'’t driven
a clutch in a while.
484
00:17:33,793 --> 00:17:34,896
I'’d better go.
485
00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:36,758
Now I may be a farmer
486
00:17:36,827 --> 00:17:39,068
but these fellas
in your sitting room
487
00:17:39,137 --> 00:17:40,172
sure do look
488
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,275
like mob bosses.
489
00:17:42,758 --> 00:17:43,827
Hey, guys
490
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,448
that Sabrina got no teeth.
491
00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:47,586
Let'’s get out of here.
492
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:48,827
Hey, come back.
493
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:50,655
We were all going to go to Vegas
494
00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:52,379
and get comped at boylesque.
495
00:17:52,448 --> 00:17:54,000
I'’m sure there'’s
an explanation
496
00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:56,241
for turning our house
into a social club.
497
00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:57,758
But first, where is Sabrina?
498
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,620
I will tell you only
if you promise
499
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:01,827
never to ask me about
my business again.
500
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:03,241
It just isn'’t the same
501
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,586
with the guys gone.
502
00:18:04,655 --> 00:18:05,862
Where is Sabrina?
503
00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:07,827
The witches'’
council called her in.
504
00:18:07,896 --> 00:18:09,068
We better get there.
505
00:18:09,137 --> 00:18:10,068
Guess I wasn'’t
506
00:18:10,137 --> 00:18:11,862
meant to be a mob boss.
507
00:18:11,931 --> 00:18:13,310
[ Belches]
508
00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:17,068
Oh, I think i'’m
garlic intolerant.
509
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,275
Yes, we understand
that you think
510
00:18:19,344 --> 00:18:21,034
your quizmaster rocks.
511
00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:23,275
But unless you can
produce this calzone
512
00:18:23,344 --> 00:18:25,517
we must hold your
quizmaster responsible
513
00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:27,448
for all the trouble you caused.
514
00:18:27,517 --> 00:18:29,758
Are you aware that
you have no teeth?
515
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:31,310
I did it to right a wrong.
516
00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:33,103
Can anything be done about it?
517
00:18:33,172 --> 00:18:36,103
Only because we'’re all
about to lose our lunch.
518
00:18:36,172 --> 00:18:39,000
Well, like I said, I Don'’t know
calzone'’s present location
519
00:18:39,068 --> 00:18:40,965
but I hope it will
please the court
520
00:18:41,034 --> 00:18:42,965
to call other witnesses
who may have
521
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,034
more information
522
00:18:44,068 --> 00:18:45,793
about the weasel'’s whereabouts.
523
00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:46,793
Now, just a moment.
524
00:18:46,862 --> 00:18:48,137
Is this calzone a weasel?
525
00:18:48,206 --> 00:18:50,068
Because we'’ve been
looking for a man.
526
00:18:53,379 --> 00:18:56,344
Oh, the court calls
dashiell calzone.
527
00:18:56,413 --> 00:18:57,931
Are you
528
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,517
the fugitive'’s nephew?
529
00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:00,862
Yes, I am.
530
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,137
Do you know
531
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:03,206
his whereabouts?
532
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:04,275
I...
533
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,689
I do not know, your honor.
534
00:19:07,758 --> 00:19:08,793
He'’s lying.
535
00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:10,586
I'’ll be demoted
to crossing guard.
536
00:19:10,655 --> 00:19:11,793
We'’re not demoting you.
537
00:19:11,862 --> 00:19:13,241
We'’re going to arrest you.
538
00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:14,310
You can'’t let
539
00:19:14,379 --> 00:19:16,896
your pupils run amok like this.
540
00:19:16,965 --> 00:19:19,586
Bailiff, take the
quizmaster into custody.
541
00:19:19,655 --> 00:19:21,000
No. You can'’t do this.
542
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:22,103
I'’ve got tenure!
543
00:19:22,172 --> 00:19:24,068
Don'’t worry. I'’ll get you out.
544
00:19:24,137 --> 00:19:25,137
Sabrina, wait.
545
00:19:25,172 --> 00:19:27,517
My quizmaster
was right about you.
546
00:19:27,586 --> 00:19:28,931
I hate to do this.
547
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,551
Oh, good.
548
00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:34,862
This place has such
great Karma for me.
549
00:19:34,931 --> 00:19:36,137
I need you to know
550
00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:38,586
I had nothing to do
with the trouble you'’re in.
551
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,379
But I do know where my uncle is.
552
00:19:40,448 --> 00:19:41,965
Why didn'’t you say anything?
553
00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:44,172
The council can
only send him to jail.
554
00:19:44,241 --> 00:19:46,172
Where I come from,
that'’s a bad thing.
555
00:19:46,241 --> 00:19:48,000
Calzone'’s a Wheeler and dealer.
556
00:19:48,068 --> 00:19:49,517
Jail would be fun to him.
557
00:19:49,586 --> 00:19:50,793
I want him to suffer.
558
00:19:50,862 --> 00:19:52,758
Well, how do you
plan on doing that?
559
00:19:52,827 --> 00:19:54,965
Well, I happen to know
my conniving uncle
560
00:19:55,034 --> 00:19:56,862
is hanging out in
the mortal realm.
561
00:19:59,068 --> 00:20:01,275
"Calzone comes clean
in quizmaster frame-up
562
00:20:01,344 --> 00:20:03,689
"and vows to spend
the rest of his life
563
00:20:03,758 --> 00:20:05,137
cleaning up dog parks."
564
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:17,965
"Bare-handed."
565
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:20,137
You'’re good.
566
00:20:26,344 --> 00:20:27,413
Friends?
567
00:20:27,482 --> 00:20:28,482
Are you kidding?
568
00:20:28,551 --> 00:20:30,310
You just saved me
and my quizmaster.
569
00:20:36,517 --> 00:20:38,896
So how far is it from
westbridge to revere?
570
00:20:38,965 --> 00:20:41,586
Oh, about five
minutes by spaceship.
571
00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:42,586
Oh, hi, guys.
572
00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:43,724
This is dashiell.
573
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:45,655
Sabrina had nothing
to do with this.
574
00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:46,758
It'’s all my fault.
575
00:20:46,827 --> 00:20:48,034
He'’s cute.
576
00:20:48,103 --> 00:20:50,448
Unfortunately I heard a
rumor you'’re grounded.
577
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,275
You have to stop reading
578
00:20:52,344 --> 00:20:53,413
those tabloids.
579
00:20:53,482 --> 00:20:54,862
Okay, i'’m grounded.
580
00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:56,206
It'’s not so bad.
581
00:20:56,275 --> 00:20:59,931
My parents are making
me clean up Lillian'’s guano.
582
00:21:02,689 --> 00:21:03,758
You'’ll need a loofah.
583
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:04,758
Sabrina: Check.
584
00:21:04,827 --> 00:21:06,103
Grab that bunion stone.
585
00:21:06,172 --> 00:21:07,103
What?!
586
00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:08,482
And plenty of band-aids.
587
00:21:08,551 --> 00:21:09,827
Oh, and a squeegee.
588
00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:11,310
Squeegee?
589
00:21:11,379 --> 00:21:13,034
When you clean old witches...
590
00:21:13,103 --> 00:21:14,448
Hundreds of old witches...
591
00:21:14,517 --> 00:21:17,068
Anything that saves
time is a welcome tool.
592
00:21:17,137 --> 00:21:18,862
I know you'’re
trying to gross me out
593
00:21:18,931 --> 00:21:19,931
but it'’s not working.
594
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:20,931
We tried.
595
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,379
Oh, one last thing.
596
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,310
The tongue scraper.
597
00:21:24,379 --> 00:21:25,758
It scrapes tongues.
598
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:26,965
No problem.
599
00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:29,758
It didn'’t work.
600
00:21:29,827 --> 00:21:31,413
Is she gone yet?
601
00:21:31,482 --> 00:21:32,482
Yeah.
602
00:21:32,517 --> 00:21:34,000
Tongue scraper! Tongue scraper!
40715
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