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1
00:00:02,827 --> 00:00:03,896
Hey! Guess what?
2
00:00:03,965 --> 00:00:05,241
The new yorker
3
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:07,068
accepted my short story?
4
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:10,344
Mrs. Quick read my essay
"how math applies to real life."
5
00:00:10,413 --> 00:00:13,344
She wants me to read it
in front of our math class.
6
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,137
That'’s wonderful!
7
00:00:15,206 --> 00:00:16,241
Isn'’t it, Zelda?
8
00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:16,931
Zelda?
9
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Zelda!
10
00:00:22,068 --> 00:00:24,931
[ Yelling]: Attention, Zelda.
11
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,206
Did you say something?
12
00:00:27,275 --> 00:00:28,344
Oh, i'’m sorry.
13
00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:30,310
I have to present a paper
14
00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:34,034
at a big scientific
symposium in the other realm
15
00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,517
and I have so much
more research to do...
16
00:00:36,586 --> 00:00:38,758
I just wanted to
tell you about my...
17
00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:39,827
Aunt Zelda?
18
00:00:39,862 --> 00:00:41,000
Aunt Zelda!!
19
00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:42,620
I am really worried about her.
20
00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:44,965
She hasn'’t eaten
or slept in days.
21
00:00:45,034 --> 00:00:48,068
She'’s even been too
busy to disapprove of me.
22
00:00:48,137 --> 00:00:50,172
She mustbe dead.
23
00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:51,586
She'’s been working too hard.
24
00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:52,965
She needs to relax.
25
00:00:53,034 --> 00:00:55,862
We could try
aromatherapy or... a mallet?
26
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,724
I know what to do.
27
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:00,413
Aloha!
28
00:01:00,482 --> 00:01:01,482
It'’s hopeless.
29
00:01:01,517 --> 00:01:03,206
Let'’s have a luau.
30
00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:06,241
No, thanks. A mai-tai
might make me groggy
31
00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:07,551
for homeroom.
32
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,448
[ Chuckling]: The...
catcould party.
33
00:01:09,517 --> 00:01:11,413
[ Slurping]: Mmm...
34
00:01:27,724 --> 00:01:29,241
I'’m Betsy Ross.
35
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:31,724
You need a flag by when?
36
00:01:35,413 --> 00:01:37,586
What did Mrs. Quick
like about your essay?
37
00:01:37,655 --> 00:01:39,551
That my ideas were
clear and concise.
38
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,896
Clear, concise... got it.
39
00:01:40,965 --> 00:01:42,896
Next time I write an essay
40
00:01:42,965 --> 00:01:44,413
i'’ll be fuzzy and wordy.
41
00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:47,655
That way i'’ll avoid the
terror you'’re about to endure.
42
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:49,931
It'’s just in front of a
few other students.
43
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,034
What'’s the big deal?
44
00:01:51,103 --> 00:01:53,758
Sabrina, guess what... I
liked your essay so much
45
00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:55,448
i'’ve arranged
for you to read it
46
00:01:55,517 --> 00:01:57,931
in front of all of the
math classes in school.
47
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,068
[ Gasping]
48
00:01:59,137 --> 00:02:00,379
[ Hyperventilating]
49
00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:02,965
Valerie seems to think
there'’s something stressful
50
00:02:03,034 --> 00:02:04,517
about speaking in public.
51
00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:05,689
What do you think?
52
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,034
Oh, I Don'’t know.
53
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:08,517
I Don'’t get stressed.
54
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,034
I get hives.
55
00:02:10,103 --> 00:02:11,758
Salem: Feed me!
56
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,482
Is she still working?
57
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,034
She'’s supposed to
feed me every half hour.
58
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,448
[ Sobbing]: I'’m so weak...
59
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:19,448
I'’m in the mood for crepes.
60
00:02:19,517 --> 00:02:22,344
I'’ve come up with a plan
to bring Zelda back to reality.
61
00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:24,068
Or... youcould feed me.
62
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,586
"Divide that by
equal parts of..."
63
00:02:29,655 --> 00:02:31,689
I must need new glasses.
64
00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:32,689
Zelda?
65
00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:35,310
You have us all really worried.
66
00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:38,310
I'’m attaining a deeper
understanding of molecules.
67
00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:40,000
I want to ennoble humanity.
68
00:02:40,068 --> 00:02:42,137
I know, and that
has to stop right now.
69
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:44,448
Maybe I havebeen
working too hard.
70
00:02:44,517 --> 00:02:46,586
But I just can'’t
stop cold Turkey.
71
00:02:46,655 --> 00:02:48,206
Turkey! Please!
72
00:02:48,275 --> 00:02:49,517
Don'’t worry.
73
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,827
I'’ve come up with a
plan that will keep you
74
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:54,310
occupied andrelaxed
at the same time.
75
00:02:54,379 --> 00:02:55,896
Come with me.
76
00:02:57,689 --> 00:03:00,310
Now.
77
00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:03,034
We'’ve always wanted to
organize the family photos.
78
00:03:03,103 --> 00:03:04,482
You'’ll be able to keep busy
79
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,551
without working
yourself into a frenzy.
80
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,000
Oh...
81
00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:10,793
I'’ve always loved this
picture of uncle toots.
82
00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:12,379
I'’ll put it right here.
83
00:03:12,448 --> 00:03:13,241
Good.
84
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,241
Oh, this isrelaxing.
85
00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:19,172
Maybe cousin Emma'’s photo
would be better on this page.Zelda...
86
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,758
Let'’s see... uncle toot'’s
black hair would look best
87
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,482
next to uncle
Emmet'’s yellow teeth.
88
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,275
Zelda!
89
00:03:24,344 --> 00:03:25,689
Or should I arrange them by
90
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:26,586
head size?
91
00:03:26,655 --> 00:03:27,586
Aren'’t you going
92
00:03:27,655 --> 00:03:28,793
to congratulate me?
93
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:30,068
I'’m your new spring queen.
94
00:03:30,137 --> 00:03:31,482
We haven'’t voted
95
00:03:31,551 --> 00:03:32,793
for that yet.
96
00:03:32,862 --> 00:03:35,103
[ Chuckling]: Voting...
you'’re so naive.
97
00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:38,689
Come Friday and the gap
between us will be even greater
98
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,965
due to my... royal station.
99
00:03:41,034 --> 00:03:43,517
I'’d genuflect, but my
tatertots are getting cold.
100
00:03:43,586 --> 00:03:45,448
[ Huffing]
101
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,862
Well, i'’m going
out for track again.
102
00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:48,965
But last year
103
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:51,551
you impaled yourself
on the hurdles.
104
00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:53,000
Yes, but on the bright side
105
00:03:53,068 --> 00:03:55,448
I discovered I also
enjoy food through a tube.
106
00:03:55,517 --> 00:03:56,758
Hey, did you hear?
107
00:03:56,827 --> 00:03:59,482
Sabrina'’s reading her
essay to all the math classes.
108
00:03:59,551 --> 00:04:01,793
Oh, man, that'’s brave!
109
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:03,862
What'’s the big deal...
What could go wrong?
110
00:04:03,931 --> 00:04:05,551
You might start vomiting...
111
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,275
Or sweating... or sweating'’s
emotional cousin: Weeping.
112
00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,724
But none of these
things are shameful...
113
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:16,137
Unless you have a problem
with a nickname like "pit-stains."
114
00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:18,068
Sabrina, here'’s some good news:
115
00:04:18,137 --> 00:04:20,379
It took some doing,
but I convinced Mr. Kraft
116
00:04:20,448 --> 00:04:22,931
to let you read your essay
at tomorrow'’s assembly!
117
00:04:25,413 --> 00:04:26,862
Does this look infected?
118
00:04:26,931 --> 00:04:27,931
Oh...
119
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:31,413
So, tomorrow'’s assembly.
120
00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:35,689
I'’ll be in the front row,
just like I was for Titanic...
121
00:04:35,758 --> 00:04:38,413
Only this'’ll be way
more disastrous.
122
00:04:38,482 --> 00:04:41,655
I'’ve got to find Mr. Kraft
and tell him I can'’t do this.
123
00:04:41,724 --> 00:04:43,482
You have to do
it... It'’s all set.
124
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,379
I tried to get Steve Allen,
but he'’s already booked
125
00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:47,896
so now it'’s all up to you.
126
00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:49,310
It'’s just an assembly.
127
00:04:49,379 --> 00:04:50,758
No, it is the first assembly
128
00:04:50,827 --> 00:04:53,172
that principal larew
has put me in charge of
129
00:04:53,241 --> 00:04:54,896
so it has to be a great speech.
130
00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,482
We are talking f.D.R.'’s
first inaugural address
131
00:04:57,551 --> 00:04:59,724
we are talking
Lincoln at gettysburg
132
00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:03,137
we are talking Billy
crystal at the oscars.
133
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:05,758
Has to be thatgood.
134
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:11,206
Well, "pit-stain spellman"
does have a certain ring to it.
135
00:05:11,275 --> 00:05:12,793
Salem: This is so good...
136
00:05:12,862 --> 00:05:14,413
What is it? A sour ball
137
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,034
I found under the couch.
138
00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:17,206
Hey, how was school?
139
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,241
Awful. I have a big problem.
140
00:05:19,310 --> 00:05:21,310
I got to talk to aunt Zelda.
141
00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:24,655
Wait. Why do you always go
to Zelda with your problems?
142
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,551
I mean, i'’m your aunt, too.
143
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:28,586
Why Don'’t you tell
me what'’s going on?
144
00:05:28,655 --> 00:05:31,413
Okay... well, I have to read
an essay at an assembly
145
00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:32,482
and i'’m terrified.
146
00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:33,862
Ooh, this isa problem.
147
00:05:33,931 --> 00:05:37,275
Have you considered
running away from it?
148
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:38,620
That was my first thought.
149
00:05:38,689 --> 00:05:40,724
Aunt hilda, you really
underestimate me.
150
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:42,448
Wait, wait. Give me
a second chance.
151
00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:43,758
I know... a little fear
152
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,137
can be a good thing.
153
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:48,241
You have to learn to
live with it and deal with it.
154
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:51,896
That isgood advice... But
not what I wanted to hear.
155
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,586
What am I going to do?!
156
00:05:53,655 --> 00:05:55,241
What am igoing to do?
157
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:56,655
Should I talk to Zelda?
158
00:05:56,724 --> 00:06:00,517
Is that a jolly rancher
under the table?
159
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:02,310
Zelda, Sabrina has a problem.
160
00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:05,068
Uncle Morris'’ picture
will completely destroy
161
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,620
the uncle Emmet sequence.
162
00:06:06,689 --> 00:06:07,689
Zelda?
163
00:06:08,586 --> 00:06:09,241
Zelda?
164
00:06:09,310 --> 00:06:13,793
Danger, will Robinson.
165
00:06:13,862 --> 00:06:15,068
Zelda?
166
00:06:15,137 --> 00:06:16,137
Zelda, what happened?
167
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,551
Speak to me.
168
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:22,310
[ Bimbo voice]: Oh,
I loveyour lipstick.
169
00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:24,068
You are a classy broad.
170
00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:26,172
[ Giggling]: You got culture.
171
00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:26,793
Come again?
172
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,172
Come on, dollface.
173
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:29,172
Let'’s do
174
00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:30,586
the Charleston.
175
00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:32,379
Something has happened to Zelda.
176
00:06:32,448 --> 00:06:34,344
I have to deal with it.
177
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,206
Okay, dancing is not the answer.
178
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,310
Sabrina? When you
going to come out
179
00:06:42,379 --> 00:06:43,793
from under your blanket?
180
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,103
Never!
181
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,310
Don'’t be afraid.
182
00:06:46,379 --> 00:06:47,793
Life is short.
183
00:06:47,862 --> 00:06:50,862
Oh, please. What fearless
thing have you done lately?
184
00:06:50,931 --> 00:06:54,689
Well, I-I-I slept in a pile of
laundry I wasn'’t familiar with.
185
00:06:54,758 --> 00:06:55,896
Look, haven'’t you
186
00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,344
figured this witch
thing out yet?
187
00:06:58,413 --> 00:07:00,000
The magic book?
188
00:07:00,068 --> 00:07:02,758
Unless you'’re afraid of itnow.
189
00:07:05,862 --> 00:07:08,620
Let'’s see...
190
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:12,103
"Fear, removal of: See page 113.
191
00:07:12,172 --> 00:07:15,103
Before extracting
fear, see warning."
192
00:07:15,172 --> 00:07:17,206
Hello, Sabrina.
193
00:07:17,275 --> 00:07:18,793
Hey! Franklin delano Roosevelt!
194
00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:20,000
You'’re the guy who said
195
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:22,137
"we have nothing
to fear but fear itself."
196
00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:24,517
Actually, what I
wanted to say was
197
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:27,275
"we have nothing
to fear but poverty."
198
00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:30,034
But my advisors told
me I should come up with
199
00:07:30,103 --> 00:07:32,034
something a little punchier.
200
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,413
Good line. Great delivery.
201
00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:35,620
Thanks.
202
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,344
Sabrina, I must tell you
203
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:40,344
that if you use your
magic to get rid of your fear
204
00:07:40,413 --> 00:07:43,896
it could cast a shadow
on the rest of your life.
205
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,344
Have you ever read an essay
206
00:07:45,413 --> 00:07:47,172
in front of a high
school assembly?
207
00:07:47,241 --> 00:07:48,655
Well, no, but I did
208
00:07:48,724 --> 00:07:50,068
overcome polio
209
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,586
to become the
leader of the free world
210
00:07:52,655 --> 00:07:54,379
and I carried this country
211
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:57,862
through the biggest
economic crisis in its history.
212
00:07:57,931 --> 00:08:01,137
And I faced the
forces of totalitarianism
213
00:08:01,206 --> 00:08:04,758
in the gravest conflict
in recorded time.
214
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:07,793
But you never had to
read an essay in front of
215
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,310
a high school assembly?
216
00:08:09,379 --> 00:08:10,689
Uh... no.
217
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:13,586
Well, then, you can'’t really
relate to what i'’m saying
218
00:08:13,655 --> 00:08:14,896
can you, Mr. President?
219
00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:16,655
Uh... "To activate fear removal
220
00:08:16,724 --> 00:08:20,689
drink a glass of water
while opened to this page."
221
00:08:26,448 --> 00:08:27,827
[ Hiccuping]
222
00:08:27,896 --> 00:08:28,896
[ Growling]
223
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:30,551
Close the book.
224
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,689
Close the book!
225
00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:33,793
Gee, Salem, Don'’t
be such a scaredy-cat.
226
00:08:33,862 --> 00:08:35,827
I can'’t wait for the
assembly tomorrow.
227
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:37,103
My essay is gonna rock.
228
00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:38,965
Looks like your fear is gone.
229
00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:40,482
Yeah, you'’re right!
230
00:08:40,551 --> 00:08:43,206
The fear must have been
scared out of me! Whoo-hoo!
231
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:44,310
Stop it!
232
00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:48,103
Oh, you know I
can'’t stand this ride!
233
00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:50,482
[ Sobbing]: Hold me.
234
00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:53,172
No doubt about it... A
clear case of witch snap.
235
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,827
It happens to witches'’ minds
236
00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:56,655
when they'’ve been overworked.
237
00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,931
[ Soft, sexy voice]:
Okay, skipper.
238
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,172
You and gilligan
forge for berries
239
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,379
while I prepare
a coconut souffle.
240
00:09:03,448 --> 00:09:05,758
Why is she acting like that?
241
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:08,172
Right now she'’s going
through gingersnap.
242
00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,827
I'’m glad you figured
that out, professor.
243
00:09:10,896 --> 00:09:14,793
Now maybe you can think of a
way to fix the hole in the boat.
244
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:17,551
The only thing
that will cure her
245
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:18,827
is no stress.
246
00:09:18,896 --> 00:09:21,724
So make sure that she
has nothing on her mind.
247
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:25,241
If I recall that character
correctly, she doesn'’t.
248
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,448
What'’s up, val?
249
00:09:26,517 --> 00:09:28,103
[ Screaming]: Why are you
250
00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:29,620
looking at me like that?
251
00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:31,931
You Don'’t want to
be my friend anymore
252
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,896
do you?
253
00:09:32,965 --> 00:09:34,379
Valerie, are you all right?
254
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,655
No. Sabrina keeps staring at
me and it'’s making me nervous.
255
00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:39,137
Maybe you should see the nurse.
256
00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:41,275
I was going to have
her check out my hives.
257
00:09:41,344 --> 00:09:42,655
I Don'’t see any hives.
258
00:09:42,724 --> 00:09:45,758
Oh! I can see the
nurse has poisoned you
259
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:47,344
with her lies, too.
260
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:49,482
Come on, Valerie.
261
00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:52,241
Wait a minute... Is
magic behind this?
262
00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:55,620
Come on, Sabrina,
Don'’t jump to conclusions.
263
00:09:55,689 --> 00:09:58,103
Attention everyone,
this is vice-principal kraft.
264
00:09:58,172 --> 00:09:59,827
I have an important
announcement.
265
00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:02,241
[ Screaming]: I
Don'’t want to die!
266
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,551
Okay.
267
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,896
Time to jump to conclusions.
268
00:10:07,448 --> 00:10:09,344
Zelda: Grab the stringy, Salem
269
00:10:09,413 --> 00:10:11,275
[ baby-voiced]: Isn'’t this fun?
270
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,379
Hilda...
271
00:10:12,448 --> 00:10:14,241
It'’ll pass. She'’s
just going through
272
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:16,103
the sugar snap
phase of witch snap.
273
00:10:16,172 --> 00:10:17,827
I'’m gonna give sa-wum a hug.
274
00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:20,655
[ Voice breaking]: Does
Kevorkian do animals?
275
00:10:20,724 --> 00:10:22,000
Unbelievable.
276
00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:24,379
Zelda balances this
checkbook every month
277
00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:26,965
and i'’ve never seen
her in a homicidal rage.
278
00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:30,586
Salem: If you feel
like killing someone
279
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:32,586
might I suggest Zelda? Oh, no.
280
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:35,344
Zelda, your
symposium is tonight.
281
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:36,862
If your paper isn'’t presented
282
00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:38,655
you'’ll be kicked
out of the academy.
283
00:10:38,724 --> 00:10:41,448
Do you think you can pull
yourself together to give it?
284
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,689
I gonna kiss you!
285
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:44,275
Okay, that would be a "no."
286
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,551
Hey, Sabrina.
287
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:48,137
Zelda wants you to try to
balance that checkbook.
288
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:49,344
I can'’t. I'’m too upset.
289
00:10:49,413 --> 00:10:50,827
I tried to overcome my fear
290
00:10:50,896 --> 00:10:53,068
by casting a spell,
and now there'’s this
291
00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:55,517
weird shadow following
people around school.
292
00:10:55,586 --> 00:10:57,793
Oh, no. If you use
magic to release your fear
293
00:10:57,862 --> 00:10:59,896
the fear gets loose
and preys on mortals.
294
00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:02,310
Didn'’t Millard
Fillmore warn you?
295
00:11:02,379 --> 00:11:05,034
Actually, it was f.D.R.,
but I blew him off.
296
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:07,793
F.d.r.? Oh, they'’ve
upgraded the magic book.
297
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:08,965
Salem: Excuse me...
298
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:11,241
Aren'’t we in the
midst of a crisis here?
299
00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:12,793
Right. You'’ve got to go back
300
00:11:12,862 --> 00:11:15,758
and get everyone who'’s been
affected by your fear shadow
301
00:11:15,827 --> 00:11:17,000
to come home with you.
302
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:19,034
Oh, no problem. Right
after I end hunger.
303
00:11:19,103 --> 00:11:21,586
And hurry... the longer
the shadow is loose
304
00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:23,758
the greater the
fear will grow. Okay!
305
00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:26,172
When I said crisis,
I meant Zelda.
306
00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:29,586
[ Voice breaking]: She'’s
putting booties on me.
307
00:11:34,965 --> 00:11:36,241
Wait, Valerie, stop!
308
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:37,724
Why are you so afraid?
309
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,689
The earth, the stars, space...
310
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:41,965
We'’re decomposing as we speak!
311
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,000
Mr. Kraft, I need
you to get everyone
312
00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:45,172
back to my house.
313
00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:46,827
That is just what
my enemies want.
314
00:11:46,896 --> 00:11:48,793
Enemies? I am
surrounded by enemies
315
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,172
plotting behind my back.
316
00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:52,172
People who want
my assembly to fail.
317
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:53,448
There'’s nothing behind
318
00:11:53,517 --> 00:11:54,517
your back except...
319
00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:55,965
[ Screams]Mr. Kraft
320
00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:58,413
when will you formally
make me spring queen?
321
00:11:58,482 --> 00:12:00,724
I know you... you'’re
one of the four horsemen.
322
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:02,655
The one with too
much eye shadow.
323
00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:05,103
We should never have
stopped school prayer.
324
00:12:05,172 --> 00:12:07,275
Wait, why are you
wearing so much makeup?
325
00:12:07,344 --> 00:12:09,689
Because... what if i'’m
not made spring queen?
326
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:12,344
Then the next thing you
know, i'’m not going to be
327
00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:13,586
summer Princess
328
00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:15,862
or Autumn empress
or winter goddess.
329
00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:19,586
What if I never win another
seasonal beauty pageant again?!
330
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,793
[ Crying]
331
00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:23,310
Wait, you have some
lipstick on your teeth!
332
00:12:23,379 --> 00:12:25,379
My hives have
turned into gangrene.
333
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:26,758
Will you cut off my arm?
334
00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,827
I have a hacksaw
back at my house.
335
00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:31,448
No! I can'’t risk being
exposed to sunlight.
336
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:32,620
If you won'’t help me
337
00:12:32,689 --> 00:12:35,379
then i'’ll just have
to gnaw it off myself.
338
00:12:35,448 --> 00:12:36,448
Harvey!
339
00:12:36,482 --> 00:12:37,482
Don'’t touch me!
340
00:12:37,551 --> 00:12:38,827
You could break a bone.
341
00:12:38,896 --> 00:12:40,241
Good thing you stopped me.
342
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,517
I would'’ve touched you.
343
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,413
I just Don'’t want to get hurt.
344
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:45,482
Football, hockey,
track, cards...
345
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:47,103
They'’re all so dangerous.
346
00:12:47,172 --> 00:12:47,793
Cards?
347
00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:49,310
You ever had a paper cut?
348
00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:51,689
Who do you think
I am, Evel knievel?
349
00:12:58,137 --> 00:12:59,896
Attention! I'’ve
just been informed
350
00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:02,517
that Vermont has declared
war on Massachusetts.
351
00:13:02,586 --> 00:13:04,862
Luckily, there'’s a bomb
shelter at my house.
352
00:13:04,931 --> 00:13:06,896
If we hurry, we
can get there in time
353
00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:09,379
but the most important
thing to remember is...
354
00:13:09,448 --> 00:13:10,517
Don'’t panic!
355
00:13:10,586 --> 00:13:12,551
[ All screaming]
356
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:22,724
Okay, Salem...
357
00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:25,517
Since I have to present
Zelda'’s paper for her
358
00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:26,517
you have to help me.
359
00:13:26,586 --> 00:13:27,241
Okay.
360
00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:30,862
"The uses of the hyraxine..."
361
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:32,275
It'’s pronounced
362
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,344
"hi-rax-zeen."
363
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,758
Zelda, you'’re back!
364
00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:36,965
It'’s pronounced "hi-rax-zeen."
365
00:13:37,034 --> 00:13:40,103
Uh-oh. Zelda, what'’s
your favorite soft drink?
366
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,965
It'’s pronounced "hi-rax-zeen."
367
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:45,172
Great. It'’s the biggest night
of Zelda'’s scientific career
368
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,517
and she has the
verbal skills of a potato.
369
00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:49,620
It'’s pronounced "po-tah-to."
370
00:13:49,689 --> 00:13:52,517
Okay... I managed to
get everyone from school
371
00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:53,965
to come home with me.
372
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,551
Great. Now get the shadow
through the linen closet
373
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:57,862
and into the other realm.
374
00:13:57,931 --> 00:13:59,482
How do I get itinto the house
375
00:13:59,551 --> 00:14:01,034
and keep everyone else out?
376
00:14:01,103 --> 00:14:02,931
You know how
dogs can smell fear?
377
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,517
Well, fear can smell dogs.
378
00:14:04,586 --> 00:14:06,655
Mr. Kraft: Let me
in the bomb shelter!
379
00:14:06,724 --> 00:14:08,827
Let me... A pack of wild dogs!
380
00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:10,000
[ Screams]
381
00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:30,241
[ Groans]
382
00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:31,965
I thought they'’d neverleave.
383
00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:34,448
Whew! Well, i'’m glad
we took care of that.
384
00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:37,000
They can handle my
fear in the other realm.
385
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:39,103
You have to go there
and confront your fear
386
00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:40,551
or it will always haunt you.
387
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:42,655
Isn'’t there a group
package available?
388
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:43,827
Can you come?
389
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:46,103
Oh, yeah, like I Don'’t
have enough to do.
390
00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:47,172
[ Blubbering]
391
00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:48,241
Stop that.
392
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:49,413
Take the quizmaster.
393
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:51,241
He'’s knowledgeable, resourceful
394
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,310
and he'’s strong.
395
00:14:52,379 --> 00:14:53,655
I need someone strong?
396
00:14:53,724 --> 00:14:55,206
If you want to live. Now, go.
397
00:14:55,275 --> 00:14:57,034
I have a paper to give.
398
00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:59,379
Oh, I hate being
the responsible one.
399
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:08,068
And once again, no one
remembers to feed the cat.
400
00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:09,551
Why'’s it so dark in here?
401
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:12,241
Your fear shadow has
engulfed this whole area.
402
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,896
Everything you encounter here
403
00:15:13,965 --> 00:15:16,206
will be one of your
subconscious fears.
404
00:15:16,275 --> 00:15:18,034
It is the forest of your fears.
405
00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:19,137
It'’s called that?
406
00:15:19,206 --> 00:15:21,344
Well, actually, it'’s
called pine valley.
407
00:15:21,413 --> 00:15:23,586
Anyway, I just flew
in from out of town
408
00:15:23,655 --> 00:15:27,172
and, uh, boy is my broom tired.
409
00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:28,689
[ Hilda laughing]
410
00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:32,586
Okay, so, on with the lecture.
411
00:15:35,655 --> 00:15:37,275
Okay, it, um...
412
00:15:37,344 --> 00:15:40,793
It starts with kind of
a... Triangular symbol
413
00:15:40,862 --> 00:15:42,413
and then I... I guess
414
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:44,931
the scientific term
for what comes next
415
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,689
would be the, um... thingy.
416
00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:50,379
This is hard.
417
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,034
I... I just have to concentrate.
418
00:15:57,275 --> 00:15:59,172
Hilda... hilda, what
are you doing?
419
00:15:59,241 --> 00:16:00,517
What'’s going on?
420
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,517
Oh, dear.
421
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:05,103
♪ Eency, weency spider
422
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,965
♪ went up the water spout...
423
00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:10,517
Now, you see that door?
424
00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:11,896
You have to make it
425
00:16:11,965 --> 00:16:13,827
through that door
without turning back.
426
00:16:13,896 --> 00:16:15,310
Is that all?
427
00:16:15,379 --> 00:16:18,793
I guess we came to the
forest of my fears on an off day.
428
00:16:21,344 --> 00:16:22,344
[ Screams]
429
00:16:22,827 --> 00:16:23,758
Mrs. Quick.
430
00:16:23,827 --> 00:16:25,482
She'’s not really Mrs. Quick.
431
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,172
She'’s a symbolic
manifestation of your fears.
432
00:16:28,241 --> 00:16:30,103
But Mrs. Quick
doesn'’t scare me.
433
00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:31,586
Oh, i'’m so glad to hear that
434
00:16:31,655 --> 00:16:33,793
because i'’ve talked
to several universities
435
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:35,275
and no one will accept you.
436
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,965
I Don'’t like this game anymore.
437
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:38,068
I'’m going home.
438
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:40,137
Oh, Sabrina, you
have to move forward.
439
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:41,482
You Don'’t know this
440
00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:44,448
but you'’re not going to do
very well on your s.A.T.S.
441
00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:46,379
No college, no future, Sabrina.
442
00:16:46,448 --> 00:16:47,620
I have your fast food
443
00:16:47,689 --> 00:16:48,758
uniform right here.
444
00:16:48,827 --> 00:16:50,896
No! No... no, i'’ll be okay.
445
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,793
There'’s always trade school.
446
00:16:54,206 --> 00:16:55,413
Wow. I guess
447
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,551
I amafraid of not
getting into college.
448
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,103
Maybe that'’s my biggest fear.
449
00:16:59,172 --> 00:17:00,758
[ Yells][ Screams]
450
00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:03,448
No, it'’s people jumping
out from behind trees.
451
00:17:03,517 --> 00:17:06,586
Sabrina, you'’re a good
friend with a soft heart.
452
00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,068
Ooh, i'’m shaking.
453
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,000
You should be...
Because a soft heart
454
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:13,793
will only hold you
back in... The real world.
455
00:17:13,862 --> 00:17:15,931
You have to be
tough in the real world.
456
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,379
You can'’t just be nice?
457
00:17:17,448 --> 00:17:18,931
Nice guys finish last, Sabrina.
458
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,172
What about mister Rogers?
459
00:17:20,241 --> 00:17:21,689
Have you seen his ratings?
460
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,965
And Jimmy Carter
and Audrey hepburn?
461
00:17:24,034 --> 00:17:26,724
I mean, occasionally,
nice people do succeed.
462
00:17:26,793 --> 00:17:28,344
You know what? I'’ve had enough.
463
00:17:28,413 --> 00:17:30,655
I'’m going to go back
to my room and cower.
464
00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:32,620
Sabrina, come on,
you'’re doing okay.
465
00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:33,862
You have to be brave.
466
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,206
That way.
467
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:36,965
Hilda, why Don'’t you sit here
468
00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:38,137
and occupy yourself
469
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:40,310
while I talk to the
nice nobel laureates.
470
00:17:40,379 --> 00:17:42,000
[ Chuckling]
471
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:46,241
Well, um, you came here
to hear me read my paper
472
00:17:46,310 --> 00:17:47,448
so let'’s
473
00:17:47,517 --> 00:17:48,689
get right to it.
474
00:17:48,758 --> 00:17:49,689
[ Gasps]
475
00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:50,758
Hilda, no!
476
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,103
[ Yells]
477
00:18:00,172 --> 00:18:01,551
It-it'’s-it'’s a clown.
478
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:02,862
I'’ve always been
479
00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:03,931
a-afraid of clowns.
480
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,275
Oh, so the way you dress
481
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:07,103
is how you confront yourfears?
482
00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:09,620
Are you afraid of being
snatched bald-headed?
483
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,896
Because that'’s
what'’s going to happen.
484
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,275
I'’m not afraid of clowns.
485
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:15,103
Why are you scaring
the quizmaster
486
00:18:15,172 --> 00:18:16,689
in the forest of myfears?
487
00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:19,586
Libby: I'’m not going to waste
my scariness on you, freak.
488
00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:20,931
Although
489
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,620
as long as i'’m here, I
may as well remind you
490
00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:27,034
that everybody has commented
on how you'’re... different.
491
00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,655
Hey, I Don'’t
care if Sabrina'’s...
492
00:18:29,724 --> 00:18:31,344
Different.
493
00:18:31,413 --> 00:18:32,827
[ Mr. Kraft chuckling]
494
00:18:32,896 --> 00:18:35,310
But she'’s not just different.
495
00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:36,275
I happen to know
496
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:39,068
that she'’s a witch!
497
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:42,000
All: You'’re a witch!
You'’re a witch!
498
00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,000
No!
499
00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:44,586
[ Screaming]
500
00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:46,068
You'’re a witch!
You'’re a witch!
501
00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:46,862
Wait a minute!
502
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:47,758
You'’re right
503
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,000
I am a witch
504
00:18:49,068 --> 00:18:50,517
and i'’m proud of being a witch
505
00:18:50,586 --> 00:18:52,586
because it means I can do this.
506
00:18:52,655 --> 00:18:53,896
Ah, way to go, Sabrina.
507
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:56,586
Now, all you have to do
is walk through that door
508
00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:58,689
and face your
ultimate and final fear.
509
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,689
Great. And if you find
my nervous system
510
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:02,413
anywhere around,
i'’d like it back.
511
00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:04,034
And now, to read
512
00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:06,862
from her essay, "how
math applies to real life"
513
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:08,793
Sabrina spellman.
514
00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:18,344
[ Clears throat]
515
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,482
"In the beginning,
there was the word.
516
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:22,724
"But in order to Mark
when the beginning was
517
00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:24,000
"we needed numbers
518
00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:26,862
"making math as big a
part of life as language
519
00:19:26,931 --> 00:19:29,000
although not
quite as big as TV."
520
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,689
[ Laughter]
521
00:19:33,103 --> 00:19:36,034
"At first, math seemed so
complicated I was afraid of it
522
00:19:36,103 --> 00:19:38,724
"but once I took the time
to study, it wasn'’t scary
523
00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:41,724
"to me anymore, which proves
that knowledge and experience
524
00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:43,413
are the best
weapons against fear."
525
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:44,413
Thank you.
526
00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:46,655
Whoo!
527
00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:50,034
Quizmaster: Great
speech, Sabrina.
528
00:19:50,103 --> 00:19:53,689
Now you can finally
face... Your fear.
529
00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:55,758
Wow, my fear looks
just like Steve Allen.
530
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:56,758
[ Chuckling]
531
00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:58,551
I know what fear is, believe me.
532
00:19:58,620 --> 00:19:59,931
I did live TV.
533
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,413
It'’s a pleasure to meet you.
534
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,827
Wait a minute... meet.
535
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:04,034
That rhymes with sweet.
536
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,689
You gave me an idea for a song.
537
00:20:05,758 --> 00:20:07,689
♪
538
00:20:08,551 --> 00:20:10,172
He'’s gone! All right!
539
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:12,206
Fear is out of my life forever.
540
00:20:12,275 --> 00:20:14,241
Not quite. He'’s
there to remind you
541
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,931
that fear will always
be a part of you.
542
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,689
Just be willing to deal with it.
543
00:20:18,758 --> 00:20:20,896
Will Steve Allen be
on all my clothes now?
544
00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:22,206
No, come on, Sabrina.
545
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,344
Don'’t take everything
so seriously.
546
00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:25,413
Lighten up.
547
00:20:25,448 --> 00:20:26,896
All right, whatever you say.
548
00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:29,344
Oh...
549
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:30,965
Clowns. Yeah, well, you know
550
00:20:31,034 --> 00:20:32,103
I can handle that.
551
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:33,172
[ Honks]
552
00:20:37,689 --> 00:20:40,586
Mr. Kraft said it was up there with
something Steve Allen would do.
553
00:20:40,655 --> 00:20:42,310
That'’s nice, dear.
554
00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:44,241
Aunt Zelda, you seem
down in the dumps.
555
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,000
Oh, it'’s nothing.
556
00:20:46,068 --> 00:20:48,965
Just my scientific career
is now in shambles.
557
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,379
Hey, there'’s a message
558
00:20:50,448 --> 00:20:52,793
from the other
realm in the toaster.
559
00:20:52,862 --> 00:20:55,551
Get it out so I can
make an English muffin.
560
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:56,689
I Don'’t believe it.
561
00:20:56,758 --> 00:20:58,482
Because of the symposium fiasco
562
00:20:58,551 --> 00:21:01,517
i'’ve been given a Grant to
study abnormal phenomena
563
00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,103
in already abnormal witches.
564
00:21:03,172 --> 00:21:04,896
Tank-a you, boys.
565
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:06,586
The songs of Bavaria...
566
00:21:06,655 --> 00:21:08,586
We'’ll-a never forget them.
567
00:21:08,655 --> 00:21:11,413
Wonderful! She'’s in the
Lawrence Welk snap stage.
568
00:21:11,482 --> 00:21:12,586
This is perfect.
569
00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:14,827
And now, a little polka.
570
00:21:14,896 --> 00:21:17,034
And a one-a and a
two-a and a three-a.
571
00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:20,137
[ Playing polka]
572
00:21:20,206 --> 00:21:21,689
I didn'’t know it until now
573
00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:25,000
but aunt hilda playing the
accordion is my biggest fear.
40543
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