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1
00:00:02,241 --> 00:00:04,068
Ooh, here comes aunt hilda
2
00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:05,137
and Mr. Kraft.
3
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,275
Ten bucks says he kisses her.
4
00:00:07,344 --> 00:00:09,344
20 bucks says she throws up.
5
00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:11,172
And that is why I packed up
6
00:00:11,241 --> 00:00:13,655
everything I owned
into my '’72 dodge dart
7
00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:17,310
and I just left muncie
and headed for westbridge.
8
00:00:17,379 --> 00:00:18,413
Uh-huh. Good night.
9
00:00:18,482 --> 00:00:19,655
You know, I...
10
00:00:19,724 --> 00:00:22,827
Had a wonderful
time tonight, hilda.
11
00:00:22,896 --> 00:00:24,275
"A heavy heart, beloved
12
00:00:24,344 --> 00:00:26,034
"have I borne from year to year
13
00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:27,413
until I saw thy face."
14
00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,172
Oh! Would you look at the time!
15
00:00:29,241 --> 00:00:30,241
I really, really...
16
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,413
Isn'’t that your car
rolling down the hill?
17
00:00:34,482 --> 00:00:36,137
Oh, good lord!
18
00:00:37,758 --> 00:00:40,000
Quick. She'’s coming.
19
00:00:44,862 --> 00:00:46,000
Hey.
20
00:00:46,068 --> 00:00:47,758
What are you guys doing?
21
00:00:47,827 --> 00:00:50,620
"A heavy heart, beloved, I
have borne from year to year..."
22
00:00:50,689 --> 00:00:51,862
Hold me, Willard.
23
00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:53,344
[ Kissing sounds]
24
00:00:53,413 --> 00:00:56,551
A cat imitating me kissing
my niece'’s vice principal.
25
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:59,137
So this is my lowest moment.
26
00:01:16,862 --> 00:01:18,034
[ Warbling note]
27
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:19,724
[ Coughing]
28
00:01:22,655 --> 00:01:24,275
Where'’d kraft take you?
29
00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:25,896
The cattle auction.
30
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:28,724
There'’s a man who
likes his beef fresh.
31
00:01:28,793 --> 00:01:30,896
No. He likes to know
the price of cattle.
32
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,793
We skipped dinner...
He'’s on a diet.
33
00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:34,862
Whenever he'’s hungry,
he drinks iced tea.
34
00:01:34,931 --> 00:01:37,586
He hasn'’t lost any weight,
but at least he'’s jittery.
35
00:01:37,655 --> 00:01:40,413
Is that a fun date
for people your age?
36
00:01:40,482 --> 00:01:42,448
No! Willard'’s one
of those people
37
00:01:42,517 --> 00:01:45,344
who hit middle age and
just forgot how to have fun.
38
00:01:45,413 --> 00:01:46,448
[ Door slams]
39
00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:48,965
Hildegard antoinette spellman.
40
00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:51,137
You used my laptop
again without asking.
41
00:01:51,206 --> 00:01:52,620
Then there are some people
42
00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:54,620
who are middle
aged their whole lives.
43
00:01:54,689 --> 00:01:56,413
The purpose of the laptop
44
00:01:56,482 --> 00:01:59,344
is to help discover cures
for the problems of the world
45
00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:01,551
not to make fudge.
46
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,000
I'’m sorry, Zelda.
47
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:06,137
Boy! This has not been
a good night for me.
48
00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:08,379
At least you Don'’t have
to go out with Mr. Kraft.
49
00:02:08,448 --> 00:02:10,103
I'’m seeing him
again this weekend.
50
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,068
What? what?
51
00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:12,172
He may be a bad date
52
00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:13,862
but when you live
as long as we do
53
00:02:13,931 --> 00:02:15,931
you have a lot of
Friday nights to fill.
54
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,448
Well, I feel refreshed.
55
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:22,586
Oh, here.
56
00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:23,758
Maybe I can help.
57
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:27,172
Have you ever
tried anger therapy?
58
00:02:27,241 --> 00:02:29,103
Now try it.
59
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,275
Oh! Oh!
60
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,413
It usually works
61
00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:34,482
on the one in
the faculty lounge.
62
00:02:36,655 --> 00:02:37,724
Sabrina, look.
63
00:02:37,793 --> 00:02:39,172
The p.T.A. Is sponsoring
64
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:41,310
a ski trip to Vermont
this weekend.
65
00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:42,689
Let'’s sign up.
66
00:02:42,758 --> 00:02:45,482
I can'’t believe the p.T.A.
Came up with something fun.
67
00:02:45,551 --> 00:02:47,034
Let'’s see how they ruin this.
68
00:02:47,103 --> 00:02:48,517
I'’m so glad they picked you
69
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:49,862
to chaperone the ski trip.
70
00:02:49,931 --> 00:02:51,551
Well, you know my motto:
71
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,758
Fun, with discipline.
72
00:02:53,827 --> 00:02:55,551
[ Both chuckle]
73
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:58,241
Did your hope die first or mine?
74
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,241
Motion passed...
75
00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:03,517
All nut items will be eliminated
76
00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:05,000
from future bake sales
77
00:03:05,068 --> 00:03:07,620
due to janitor bill'’s
allergic reaction
78
00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:10,758
and I am told he is finally
breathing on his own again.
79
00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:12,965
Okay, next up: We need to vote
80
00:03:13,034 --> 00:03:14,482
on how to spend the money
81
00:03:14,551 --> 00:03:16,655
that last year'’s seniors left.
82
00:03:16,724 --> 00:03:17,586
[ Muffled]: Loser.
83
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:18,965
Heard that.
84
00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:20,689
Well, I think we should spend it
85
00:03:20,758 --> 00:03:22,137
sponsoring the cheerleaders
86
00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:24,379
to go to a unique
cheerleading workshop...
87
00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:25,620
In France.
88
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:26,965
Oh, please.
89
00:03:27,034 --> 00:03:29,724
So the brightest and
best of today'’s youth
90
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,517
taking their American values
91
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,000
over to the godless
countries in Europe.
92
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,689
I think that is a nifty idea.
93
00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:39,068
Any other proposals?
94
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:41,586
We should get a drinking
fountain that works.
95
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,655
Not only would it benefit our
class, but the student body.
96
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,793
[ Murmured agreement]
97
00:03:45,862 --> 00:03:47,000
Well, let'’s vote.
98
00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:49,310
All those in favor of
the drinking fountain
99
00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:50,379
raise their hands.
100
00:03:50,448 --> 00:03:51,517
All in favor
101
00:03:51,586 --> 00:03:53,655
of sending our
cheerleaders to camp
102
00:03:53,724 --> 00:03:55,000
raise their hands.
103
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,413
Okay. Motion passed.
104
00:03:57,482 --> 00:03:59,793
Congratulations,
Libby. Enjoy Europe.
105
00:03:59,862 --> 00:04:02,896
More people raised their hands
in favor of the water fountain.
106
00:04:02,965 --> 00:04:05,172
And I used my veto
to overrule them.
107
00:04:05,241 --> 00:04:07,448
I thought student
government was Democratic.
108
00:04:07,517 --> 00:04:09,448
And I am certain
that our forefathers
109
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:12,103
would have wanted our
cheerleaders to see Paris.
110
00:04:12,172 --> 00:04:14,103
And Brussels on the weekend.
111
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:15,551
Ooh.
112
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,103
[ Sighs]
113
00:04:17,172 --> 00:04:18,482
Zelda: Sabrina, have you
114
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:21,103
been using my laptop
again without asking?
115
00:04:21,172 --> 00:04:23,068
If you'’re proud of
my initiative, yes.
116
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,586
Well, i'’m not.
117
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,379
Won'’t that make
dressing a problem?
118
00:04:26,448 --> 00:04:28,310
What did you make
with my laptop?
119
00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:29,586
Hair mousse
120
00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:31,241
but you would really understand
121
00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:34,310
if you could have seen what
my hair looked like that day.
122
00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:35,862
I am making a new house rule:
123
00:04:35,931 --> 00:04:37,310
No one plays with my laptop
124
00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:38,862
now matter how hungry you are
125
00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:40,241
no matter how ungroomed.
126
00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:40,793
What if...?
127
00:04:40,862 --> 00:04:41,275
No!
128
00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:42,068
How about...?
129
00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:43,448
No!
130
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,586
She'’s waffling.
131
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,827
Okay, now, in order to ensure
132
00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:50,620
everyone'’s safety on this trip
133
00:04:50,689 --> 00:04:53,448
I have established a
few simple guidelines.
134
00:04:53,517 --> 00:04:55,482
"No snacking between meals.
135
00:04:55,551 --> 00:04:56,896
Lights out at 8:00"?
136
00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:58,068
"No laughing"?
137
00:04:58,137 --> 00:05:00,034
Well... and since
we'’ll be staying
138
00:05:00,103 --> 00:05:02,103
at my ex-father-in-law'’s condo
139
00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:03,724
to save a little bit of money
140
00:05:03,793 --> 00:05:06,172
everyone will have to
pitch in with the chores.
141
00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:07,965
[ All groaning]
142
00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:08,931
Will we get paid?
143
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,275
You will be paid
144
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,241
with up to 45 minutes
a day of ski time, mister.
145
00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:14,931
Well, since it'’s about
146
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,724
ten minutes until school starts
147
00:05:16,793 --> 00:05:19,620
i'’m sure you'’ve got some
homework you'’ve forgotten
148
00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:21,206
or some property to destroy.
149
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:23,586
Coming through.
150
00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:25,379
Obviously, he'’s
never been loved.
151
00:05:25,448 --> 00:05:26,620
That'’s sad.
152
00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:28,689
Perfectly
understandable, but sad.
153
00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:31,758
The guy'’s completely forgotten
what it'’s like to be a teenager.
154
00:05:31,827 --> 00:05:34,000
If only there was some
way to remind him.
155
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,931
I'’ll be back before
homeroom'’s over.
156
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,448
Where you going?
157
00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:40,034
To zap... Ity
doo-dah into the hall.
158
00:05:40,103 --> 00:05:41,310
See ya.
159
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,275
Are you sure about this?
160
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:48,206
Zelda was pretty explicit
about not going near this.
161
00:05:48,275 --> 00:05:49,793
She said not to play with it.
162
00:05:49,862 --> 00:05:52,689
She said the laptop was for
curing problems of the world
163
00:05:52,758 --> 00:05:55,413
and Mr. Kraft is definitely
a problem of the world.
164
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:57,448
If she knew you
were brewing a potion
165
00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:59,620
to make Mr. Kraft
understand teenagers
166
00:05:59,689 --> 00:06:01,103
I know what she'’d say.
167
00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:02,862
Hint... it rhymes with "whoa."
168
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,724
Oh, it worked!
169
00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:07,931
Candy?
170
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,000
Nah. I'’d probably break out.
171
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:13,862
"For a teenager'’s
outlook on life
172
00:06:13,931 --> 00:06:15,241
"take three candies.
173
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,137
"Caution: May
result in the ability
174
00:06:17,206 --> 00:06:19,000
to eat an entire box of cereal."
175
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:21,482
Perfect. I'’ll just slip
a few into his iced tea.
176
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:25,931
The game is afoot.
177
00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:30,241
[ Theme fromthe
pink panther playing]
178
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:47,517
All right, you clowns,
get down from there.
179
00:06:47,586 --> 00:06:49,586
Have you nothing better to do
180
00:06:49,655 --> 00:06:51,724
than climb the cafeter...
181
00:06:51,793 --> 00:06:54,517
Cafeteria?
182
00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:56,275
Be in my office in five minutes.
183
00:07:05,034 --> 00:07:06,034
[ Sighs]
184
00:07:06,103 --> 00:07:08,689
This is a school,
not a bordello.
185
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:20,689
[ Sighs]
186
00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:23,896
Miss spellman
187
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:27,172
why have you been following
me around all morning?
188
00:07:27,241 --> 00:07:29,379
It'’s... your
Cologne, Mr. Kraft.
189
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,655
It'’s so great that I
want to buy some
190
00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:33,379
for my friend, Harvey.
191
00:07:33,448 --> 00:07:37,310
Well, you can think
about my old spice
192
00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:39,137
in detention.
193
00:07:39,206 --> 00:07:40,517
But what'’s my crime?
194
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,655
Smelling the vice principal.
195
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,379
Now, that'’s funny.
196
00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:53,413
I seem to be out
of detention slips.
197
00:07:53,482 --> 00:07:55,068
You just wait right here
198
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:57,724
while I go to the supply closet.
199
00:08:05,448 --> 00:08:07,724
Now, what are you
doing with my iced tea?
200
00:08:07,793 --> 00:08:10,275
Uh, I just thought
you might be thirsty.
201
00:08:10,344 --> 00:08:12,068
Miss spellman...
202
00:08:13,758 --> 00:08:16,689
Kissing up is a way of life
203
00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:19,724
not just something
you do when it suits you.
204
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,517
Mr. Kraft, are you all right?
205
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:32,103
We need tunes.
206
00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:33,586
[ Radio blaring]
207
00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:34,896
Huh?
208
00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:36,344
What is this?
209
00:08:36,413 --> 00:08:37,862
Detention.
210
00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:40,620
You can feel De
tension in De room, huh?
211
00:08:40,689 --> 00:08:41,448
[ Chuckling]
212
00:08:41,517 --> 00:08:43,241
[ Laughs]
213
00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:45,620
We got the ski trip chores.
214
00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:47,551
I have to paint the living room.
215
00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:48,689
Mr. Barber.
216
00:08:48,758 --> 00:08:50,586
[ Muttered cough]: Loser.
217
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,862
Mr. Kraft.
218
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,034
You want something?
219
00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:54,379
[ Clattering]
220
00:08:54,448 --> 00:08:55,620
Heigh-oh!
221
00:08:55,689 --> 00:08:57,034
Let'’s hear it for gordy.
222
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,896
Nice move.
223
00:08:58,965 --> 00:09:01,758
So... the ski trip?
224
00:09:01,827 --> 00:09:05,862
I am packing supplies
for water balloons.
225
00:09:05,931 --> 00:09:07,413
Do we still have to clean?
226
00:09:07,482 --> 00:09:10,034
We'’ll just fake it... Spread
potpourri everywhere
227
00:09:10,103 --> 00:09:12,206
make sure there'’s
paper in the Johns.
228
00:09:13,448 --> 00:09:14,965
Hey, did I ever tell you guys
229
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:17,000
about the time my
toenail got infected?
230
00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:18,793
It turned, like,
completely green.
231
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:19,896
Excuse me. What?!
232
00:09:19,965 --> 00:09:21,241
I need you to sign this
233
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,793
so the cheerleaders
can get our trip approved.
234
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:25,068
Later. Please?
235
00:09:25,137 --> 00:09:26,068
I took the Liberty
236
00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:27,896
of filling in the pesky blanks.
237
00:09:27,965 --> 00:09:29,586
Gimme. Anyway...
238
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:30,827
The nail falls off.
239
00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:33,000
I find the thing floating
around in my sock.
240
00:09:33,068 --> 00:09:34,275
How gross is that?
241
00:09:34,344 --> 00:09:36,448
Okay, there.
242
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:37,379
Super.
243
00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:39,034
You really want
this, Don'’t you?
244
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:40,034
Huh, Libby? Huh?
245
00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:41,448
You want it? You want it?
246
00:09:41,517 --> 00:09:42,896
Harvey, think fast!
247
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:45,758
Harvey, i'’m open.
248
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:46,931
Harvey!
249
00:09:50,344 --> 00:09:52,517
Who was that to, kinkle?
250
00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:57,172
Ew.
251
00:09:57,241 --> 00:10:00,482
Oh... here'’s the
world'’s smallest violin
252
00:10:00,551 --> 00:10:04,517
playing the world'’s
saddest song just for you.
253
00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:05,793
Wow.
254
00:10:05,862 --> 00:10:07,068
He seems different.
255
00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:09,689
I know.
256
00:10:09,758 --> 00:10:11,206
Salem: You'’re kidding?
257
00:10:11,275 --> 00:10:14,241
He played "smells like
teen spirit" with his nose?
258
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:17,379
Four verses. This spell is
working better than expected.
259
00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:18,655
Unbelievable.
260
00:10:18,724 --> 00:10:21,241
I wonder how it'’s
affecting his date with hilda?
261
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:24,137
He'’s on a date with aunt hilda?
262
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,931
Willard, I can'’t tell you
how much fun I had tonight.
263
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,034
How'’d you ever guess
that man'’s weight?
264
00:10:29,103 --> 00:10:30,275
Oh, that was easy.
265
00:10:30,344 --> 00:10:31,827
He'’s just a big tub of goo.
266
00:10:31,896 --> 00:10:32,724
[ Laughing]
267
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:34,586
Well...
268
00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:35,655
Jeez, I...
269
00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:39,448
Wow!
270
00:10:39,517 --> 00:10:41,793
Touchdown... kraft!
271
00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:45,586
Hi, aunt hilda.
272
00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:46,724
How was your date?
273
00:10:46,793 --> 00:10:47,896
Great!
274
00:10:47,965 --> 00:10:49,551
We threw softballs at clowns.
275
00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:51,172
We held hands at the fun house.
276
00:10:51,241 --> 00:10:52,517
We spit off the monorail.
277
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:55,620
I'’m crazy about Willard kraft.
278
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,620
So she'’s in love with
someone who'’s under a spell
279
00:10:58,689 --> 00:11:00,793
but at least i'’m
not in trouble.
280
00:11:00,862 --> 00:11:02,896
Is thatthe bus?
281
00:11:02,965 --> 00:11:04,586
That'’s the same street sweeper
282
00:11:04,655 --> 00:11:06,068
that went by ten minutes ago.
283
00:11:06,137 --> 00:11:07,379
He'’d better get here.
284
00:11:07,448 --> 00:11:09,896
I'’m starting to feel a
camaraderie with you people.
285
00:11:09,965 --> 00:11:11,448
Well, here comes Mr. Kraft.
286
00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:13,482
I'’m sure there'’s
an explanation.
287
00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:15,413
Mr. Kraft, why is
the bus so late?
288
00:11:16,862 --> 00:11:18,241
Hire the bus...
289
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:21,034
I told my mother to remind me.
290
00:11:21,103 --> 00:11:22,620
I'’m sorry.
291
00:11:22,689 --> 00:11:24,379
Well, okay, so I goofed.
292
00:11:24,448 --> 00:11:25,586
This is not the end
293
00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:26,655
of the world.
294
00:11:26,689 --> 00:11:28,413
I'’m sure we can
fix this somehow.
295
00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:29,551
What can we do?
296
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,241
I know... race
you to the arcade.
297
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,758
I think we should stay here
298
00:11:32,827 --> 00:11:35,000
and make sure everyone
gets a ride home.
299
00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:36,172
Okay. You do that.
300
00:11:36,241 --> 00:11:37,586
Come on.
301
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:40,344
If you leave, i'’m going
to have to report you.
302
00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:42,137
He'’ll be back with some help.
303
00:11:42,206 --> 00:11:44,965
Right... after he
stops mooning us.
304
00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:51,034
Why are the halls such a mess?
305
00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:52,965
Mr. Kraft forgot
to pay the janitors
306
00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:54,310
so they'’re on strike.
307
00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:55,965
Avoid the bathrooms.
308
00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:58,413
I didn'’t know he
took care of that.
309
00:11:58,482 --> 00:11:59,793
Or that.
310
00:11:59,862 --> 00:12:02,344
Why has he been
acting totally weird lately?
311
00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:03,793
I hadn'’t really noticed.
312
00:12:03,862 --> 00:12:05,034
Kraft: Listen up, butt brains
313
00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:06,586
everyone has to write a report
314
00:12:06,655 --> 00:12:08,517
on last night'’s
"team knight rider."
315
00:12:08,586 --> 00:12:09,689
Faked you out.
316
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:11,655
[ Yelling]
317
00:12:11,724 --> 00:12:12,827
Ow!
318
00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:14,827
Okay, maybe he has been acting
319
00:12:14,896 --> 00:12:16,000
a little strange.
320
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,379
Got to go.
321
00:12:17,448 --> 00:12:18,517
[ Phone ringing]
322
00:12:18,586 --> 00:12:19,689
Bon jour.
323
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:20,517
Salem, it'’s me.
324
00:12:20,586 --> 00:12:21,931
So, what'’s the haps?
325
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,068
It'’s the spell.
326
00:12:23,137 --> 00:12:25,379
Find something in
the book to reverse it.
327
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:27,137
Mr. Kraft keeps getting younger.
328
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:28,241
Freeze!
329
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,172
N.y.p.d. We'’re going downtown.
330
00:12:30,241 --> 00:12:32,620
[ Imitating gunshots]
331
00:12:32,689 --> 00:12:35,551
And I think he'’s been
watching way too much TV.
332
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:36,827
What'’s going on?
333
00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,172
Why isn'’t anyone eating?
334
00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:40,275
Mr. Kraft forgot to
sign the food order.
335
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,620
And it was tamale day.
336
00:12:41,689 --> 00:12:43,137
Who would have thought?
337
00:12:43,206 --> 00:12:46,172
Guess Mr. Kraft is in charge
of more stuff than detention.
338
00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:47,517
I'’m hungry
339
00:12:47,586 --> 00:12:50,000
and i'’m not very
nice when i'’m hungry.
340
00:12:50,068 --> 00:12:52,586
So it'’s a nutrition problem.
341
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:55,034
Oh.
342
00:12:55,103 --> 00:12:57,655
Mr. Kraft, all these
students are very hungry
343
00:12:57,724 --> 00:12:59,206
and there is no food.
344
00:12:59,275 --> 00:13:01,275
Well, you'’re a girl.
345
00:13:01,344 --> 00:13:02,448
Go fix lunch.
346
00:13:02,517 --> 00:13:04,000
That'’s neanderthal.
347
00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:05,689
"That'’s neanderthal."
348
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,724
Mr. Kraft, the
students need lunch
349
00:13:07,793 --> 00:13:09,275
and they need it now.
350
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,620
Well...
351
00:13:11,689 --> 00:13:13,137
[ Grunts]
352
00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:14,482
I have
353
00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:19,931
two rollos, a jawbreaker,
some a.B.C. Gum
354
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,241
and i'’m willing to share.
355
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:23,448
You are the vice
principal of this school
356
00:13:23,517 --> 00:13:26,862
and it is your responsibility
to order the darned food.
357
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,000
Is not. Is, too.
358
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,862
Not, not, not, not... infinity.
359
00:13:29,931 --> 00:13:32,586
This is a ridiculous
conversation.
360
00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:33,413
Is not.
361
00:13:33,482 --> 00:13:35,310
Oh!
362
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:37,206
I'’m hungry.
363
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,689
We have the statewide exams
364
00:13:38,758 --> 00:13:40,241
coming up in a week
365
00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:43,034
and one of the things
that'’s going to be on them
366
00:13:43,103 --> 00:13:44,827
is quadratic equations.
367
00:13:44,896 --> 00:13:46,931
This is vice principal kraft...
368
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,310
[ Burps]
369
00:13:49,379 --> 00:13:51,034
He makes three times what I do.
370
00:13:51,103 --> 00:13:52,275
I just wanted
371
00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:54,310
to say that even
though lunch today
372
00:13:54,379 --> 00:13:56,103
was, like, totally not my fault
373
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:57,931
i'’m going to make
it up to you guys
374
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,000
by letting you go
home... For three weeks.
375
00:14:01,068 --> 00:14:02,206
Three weeks?
376
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,206
We'’ll never get
ready for the exams.
377
00:14:04,275 --> 00:14:06,000
We'’ll lose our accreditation.
378
00:14:06,068 --> 00:14:08,344
But we'’ll catch
up on our soaps.
379
00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:09,724
Oh, uh...
380
00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:12,034
Your uncle is calling
you on the pay phone.
381
00:14:12,103 --> 00:14:13,103
Oh.
382
00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:16,517
Uncle Salem?
383
00:14:16,586 --> 00:14:18,689
What'’d you find out?
384
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,206
You didn'’t mix the potion
with hemlock, did you?
385
00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:23,379
That'’s the only way
it could be messing up
386
00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:25,137
unless you mixed
it with caffeine
387
00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:26,517
but no one'’s that stupid.
388
00:14:26,586 --> 00:14:27,689
I did.
389
00:14:27,758 --> 00:14:29,655
I mixed it with
caffeine in iced tea.
390
00:14:29,724 --> 00:14:30,965
Oh, no! Everyone knows
391
00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:33,344
you Don'’t put aging
potion in with caffeine.
392
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:35,379
Did the surgeon general
make that warning?
393
00:14:35,448 --> 00:14:37,896
It causes the container
to absorb the potion.
394
00:14:37,965 --> 00:14:40,379
Every time Mr. Kraft
makes a pitcher of iced tea
395
00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:41,551
he gets more potion.
396
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,586
I have to get that carafe.
397
00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:45,275
Yes, and be careful, 99.
398
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,551
What?
399
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,482
You are so young.
400
00:14:56,689 --> 00:14:57,965
Ha!
401
00:14:58,034 --> 00:15:00,137
Mr. Kraft, I didn'’t
know you were in here
402
00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:01,689
but then I didn'’t look in
403
00:15:01,758 --> 00:15:03,344
what appears to be your fort.
404
00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:04,965
Since you are here, i'’ll go.
405
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,103
Tag, you'’re it.
406
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,965
You'’re never going to catch me.
407
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,379
I'’m very bad at
this game. I quit.
408
00:15:10,448 --> 00:15:12,206
Oop, tag, i'’m it.
409
00:15:12,275 --> 00:15:14,620
Um, pain tag. If I catch
you, I give you pain.
410
00:15:14,689 --> 00:15:15,862
I Don'’t want to play!
411
00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:17,758
Indian burn. You'’re it.
412
00:15:17,827 --> 00:15:18,758
Heavy pillow tag.
413
00:15:18,827 --> 00:15:20,517
No fair. No fair.
414
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,620
Ow!
415
00:15:22,724 --> 00:15:24,551
I'’m telling.
416
00:15:28,103 --> 00:15:29,793
Did you get the carafe?
417
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,827
No, but apparently
I have cooties.
418
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,862
There has to be
some other solution.
419
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:35,862
I'’ve torn that
book apart looking.
420
00:15:37,172 --> 00:15:38,344
Literally.
421
00:15:38,413 --> 00:15:40,379
Well, there'’s only
one thing to do.
422
00:15:40,448 --> 00:15:42,586
I'’m going to have
to ask an aunt.
423
00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:44,965
Might I suggest aunt bea?
424
00:15:45,034 --> 00:15:46,137
She was nice.
425
00:15:48,931 --> 00:15:50,034
Hi.
426
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:51,172
Hi, sweetie.
427
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,689
I didn'’t hear you come in.
428
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:56,620
Well, i'’m in and i'’m
studying witch stuff
429
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:57,965
and I need some help.
430
00:15:58,034 --> 00:15:59,793
Sure. Don'’t touch
that green goo.
431
00:15:59,862 --> 00:16:01,689
It'’s a little radioactive.
432
00:16:01,758 --> 00:16:04,689
Well, let'’s say a person
put a spell on another person
433
00:16:04,758 --> 00:16:07,655
and they thought that spell
would end at a certain time
434
00:16:07,724 --> 00:16:08,655
but it didn'’t.
435
00:16:08,724 --> 00:16:09,862
Who'’d you put it on?
436
00:16:09,931 --> 00:16:12,172
Aunt Zelda, it'’s hypothetical.
437
00:16:13,103 --> 00:16:14,448
So, how would you reverse
438
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:16,241
this hypothetical problem spell?
439
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:21,103
Well, first, i'’d tell my
aunt what'’s going on.
440
00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:23,206
Where'’s aunt hilda?
Maybe she can help.
441
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,655
She'’s with Mr. Kraft.
442
00:16:24,724 --> 00:16:25,896
Really?
443
00:16:29,344 --> 00:16:33,344
Willard, would you
mind getting offthe floor?
444
00:16:33,413 --> 00:16:36,413
I'’m bored.
445
00:16:36,482 --> 00:16:38,000
Then, why Don'’t we talk?
446
00:16:38,068 --> 00:16:41,448
I really had a great
time the other night.
447
00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:44,689
What are you doing?
448
00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:45,586
Oh.
449
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:47,310
Here.
450
00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:50,379
[ Blowing loudly]
451
00:16:50,448 --> 00:16:51,310
Uh.
452
00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:52,965
[ Imitating engine]
453
00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:54,551
Oh, here comes our food.
454
00:16:56,206 --> 00:16:58,137
Here'’s your petite fillet.
455
00:16:58,206 --> 00:17:00,827
Here'’s your chocolate sundae.
456
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:02,896
Anything else?
457
00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:04,379
More cherries.
458
00:17:06,689 --> 00:17:09,724
Wish I was brave enough
to order dessert for dinner.
459
00:17:09,793 --> 00:17:11,620
But then, I like my health.
460
00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:12,689
I want that.
461
00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:13,862
Oh.
462
00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:14,931
I'’m the same way.
463
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,724
Someone'’s food
always looks better
464
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:18,000
but not this time.
465
00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:21,448
Oh, how romantic.
466
00:17:21,517 --> 00:17:22,448
Are you okay?
467
00:17:22,517 --> 00:17:24,448
I want to go home.
468
00:17:24,517 --> 00:17:26,689
Well, i'’d like to
finish my meal.
469
00:17:26,758 --> 00:17:27,827
I want to go home.
470
00:17:27,896 --> 00:17:29,310
Stop that!
471
00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:31,586
Would your date
like some crayons?
472
00:17:31,655 --> 00:17:35,034
Um, no, but could you just
put a rush order on the cherries?
473
00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:36,896
Sabrina.
474
00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:39,068
You know, these
days a lot of restaurants
475
00:17:39,137 --> 00:17:40,137
will put leftovers
476
00:17:40,172 --> 00:17:41,655
in a bag for you.
477
00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:43,482
Where'’s Mr. Kraft?
478
00:17:43,551 --> 00:17:45,034
Oh, he'’s asleep in the car.
479
00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:47,482
The ride really
tuckered him out.
480
00:17:47,551 --> 00:17:48,862
I'’m tuckered out myself.
481
00:17:48,931 --> 00:17:49,862
Good night.
482
00:17:49,931 --> 00:17:50,931
Hold it.
483
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,068
What spell did
you put on Willard?
484
00:17:53,137 --> 00:17:54,413
Before you point fingers
485
00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:56,310
please remember
one important fact...
486
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:57,758
Sabrina put me up to it.
487
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,793
Are you going to finish that
potato morsel on your collar?
488
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:03,862
What are you making?
489
00:18:03,931 --> 00:18:05,758
It'’s an anti-youth potion.
490
00:18:05,827 --> 00:18:10,206
One part prune juice, one
part Miami beach tap water
491
00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:14,068
with just a pinch
of buddy ebsen salt.
492
00:18:14,137 --> 00:18:16,448
Sabrina: I'’ll give
him the medicine.
493
00:18:16,517 --> 00:18:19,068
I hate to say this
494
00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:21,931
but I can'’t wait to get
the old Mr. Kraft back.
495
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,172
You Don'’t change
people'’s personalities.
496
00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:26,689
And if you do, you
Don'’t mix it with caffeine.
497
00:18:28,758 --> 00:18:30,103
All right, Mr. Kraft
498
00:18:30,172 --> 00:18:31,724
let'’s get your dignity back.
499
00:18:31,793 --> 00:18:33,689
Here comes the choo-choo train.
500
00:18:33,758 --> 00:18:37,896
Choo-choo, choo-choo,
choo-choo, choo-choo.
501
00:18:37,965 --> 00:18:41,551
That noise is going on your
permanent record, Sabrina.
502
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,137
What'’s going on here?
503
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,689
How did I end up here?
504
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:46,034
We were at dinner
505
00:18:46,103 --> 00:18:47,793
and you got sick and passed out.
506
00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:50,655
Oh, dear lord, what
happened to you?
507
00:18:50,724 --> 00:18:52,310
Had to dive across the nachos
508
00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:54,310
to keep you from
hitting your head.
509
00:18:54,379 --> 00:18:55,655
Thank you.
510
00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:58,965
Listen, I insist on
buying you another dinner
511
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:01,517
and i'’m not leaving
here until you say yes.
512
00:19:01,586 --> 00:19:02,344
Say yes. Say yes.
513
00:19:02,413 --> 00:19:03,586
Oh, all right.
514
00:19:03,655 --> 00:19:05,241
Wonderful.
515
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,275
Sabrina...
516
00:19:08,793 --> 00:19:10,758
Something very
odd is going on here
517
00:19:10,827 --> 00:19:12,103
and I can'’t help
518
00:19:12,172 --> 00:19:14,344
but think that you
were responsible.
519
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:16,344
Oh, well, you know
that could be sign
520
00:19:16,413 --> 00:19:17,586
of a concussion.
521
00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:20,931
Oh. Well, we will visit
this area again, hmm?
522
00:19:22,758 --> 00:19:23,862
Hilda...
523
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:24,931
Tuesday?
524
00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:25,655
Mm-hmm.
525
00:19:25,724 --> 00:19:26,724
Black Angus night
526
00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:27,827
at the stockyards.
527
00:19:35,620 --> 00:19:37,206
If I come home with a steer
528
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:38,965
it'’s sleeping in your bedroom.
529
00:19:41,827 --> 00:19:43,103
Really?
530
00:19:43,172 --> 00:19:44,793
Too much iced tea?
531
00:19:44,862 --> 00:19:47,206
It'’s the only thing my
doctor could think of.
532
00:19:47,275 --> 00:19:48,517
Here you are.
533
00:19:49,517 --> 00:19:50,931
Detention? What for?
534
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,379
New policy.
535
00:19:52,448 --> 00:19:55,758
Detention is now based
solely on personal resentments.
536
00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:58,103
Hi, Libby.
537
00:19:58,172 --> 00:20:00,034
Libby, what'’s the matter?
538
00:20:00,103 --> 00:20:01,586
What'’s the matter?
539
00:20:01,655 --> 00:20:05,034
I thought you believed in
the work of cheerleaders
540
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:08,379
but it turns out that you
are no more than an...
541
00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:10,000
An educator.
542
00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:13,965
Libby, isn'’t that
a little harsh?
543
00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:16,620
Especially since you
haven'’t seen this yet.
544
00:20:18,103 --> 00:20:19,241
Three tickets
545
00:20:19,310 --> 00:20:21,689
to the loire valley
cheerleading symposium.
546
00:20:21,758 --> 00:20:24,482
Oh, Mr. Kraft, i'’m...
547
00:20:24,551 --> 00:20:27,172
I'’m all choked up.
548
00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:29,344
I'’d give you something
for your dry throat
549
00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:32,103
but i'’m afraid our drinking
fountain is still broken.
550
00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,206
Well, looks like the Mr. Kraft
551
00:20:39,275 --> 00:20:41,206
we'’ve always known
and loved is back.
552
00:20:41,275 --> 00:20:42,862
Yeah. It'’s nice to have
553
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:45,724
lunch and lights
and clean school.
554
00:20:45,793 --> 00:20:48,034
I guess we should
be grateful for him.
555
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:51,620
What the...?!
556
00:20:51,689 --> 00:20:53,620
Now i'’m grateful.
557
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,172
So I ruined the ski trip
558
00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:03,655
and turned the
school inside out.
559
00:21:03,724 --> 00:21:05,206
Isn'’t being grounded enough?
560
00:21:05,275 --> 00:21:07,103
Why do I have to
mix this stuff up?
561
00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:08,310
It'’s just Zelda'’s way
562
00:21:08,379 --> 00:21:10,275
of teaching us to
respect the laptop.
563
00:21:10,344 --> 00:21:13,068
Why would she have me
make limburger frappe?
564
00:21:13,137 --> 00:21:15,413
Oh, man, this stuff
smells like something
565
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,931
that'’s already been eaten.
566
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,413
How bad could it be?
567
00:21:18,482 --> 00:21:19,724
It'’s just cheese.
568
00:21:19,793 --> 00:21:21,827
[ Groans and moans]
569
00:21:21,896 --> 00:21:24,034
Oh, no. Salem?
Aunt hilda! Aunt Zelda!
570
00:21:24,103 --> 00:21:25,965
Help! Salem'’s fainted!
571
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:29,034
Oh, Salem, you are brilliant.
572
00:21:31,413 --> 00:21:33,551
Easy, easy. Don'’t choke.
38619
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