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1
00:00:02,827 --> 00:00:05,103
Salem, those roast
potatoes came out great.
2
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:06,379
Thanks for the recipe.
3
00:00:06,448 --> 00:00:08,275
Don'’t thank me,
thank Graham kerr.
4
00:00:08,344 --> 00:00:10,413
I'’d whip up a chocolate soufflé
5
00:00:10,482 --> 00:00:13,379
if I could only get my
paws around a whisk.
6
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:14,448
Not to worry.
7
00:00:14,517 --> 00:00:16,310
I'’ll conjure up some ice cream.
8
00:00:17,241 --> 00:00:20,655
[ Screaming]
9
00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:23,862
There'’s an eye
screaming in the freezer.
10
00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:28,551
Hilda, you asked for ice cream
and you got an eye screaming.
11
00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:31,068
I think you'’re coming
down with a case of punnitis.
12
00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:32,310
Punnitis? Me? No way.
13
00:00:32,379 --> 00:00:33,758
Probably my subconscious
14
00:00:33,827 --> 00:00:36,241
telling me i'’ve been
eating too much sugar.
15
00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:38,862
Lately it'’s become a
real monkey on my back.
16
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:40,206
Hello.
17
00:00:40,275 --> 00:00:45,034
Uh, do I have Davy Jones
of the monkees on my back?
18
00:00:45,103 --> 00:00:46,206
Definitely. Definitely.
19
00:00:46,275 --> 00:00:49,379
Okay. Maybe i'’ve
got a touch of punnitis.
20
00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:50,689
That'’s right.
21
00:00:50,758 --> 00:00:54,793
No one explain what'’s
going on to the apparition.
22
00:01:11,586 --> 00:01:13,482
I can cancan. Can you?
23
00:01:17,551 --> 00:01:18,700
So, last night my
dad sat me down
24
00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:19,827
to talk about goals.
25
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:21,137
Snore.
26
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,137
I know.
27
00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:23,551
According to my father,
28
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:26,655
my goals are: Pass math,
start at least one football game,
29
00:01:26,724 --> 00:01:29,000
get a part-time job,
and date other girls.
30
00:01:29,068 --> 00:01:31,034
Date other girls?!
31
00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:32,689
My dad says the teenage years
32
00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:35,379
are for getting to know
different kinds of girls
33
00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:36,448
so that later on
34
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,448
i'’ll know what to
look for in a mate.
35
00:01:38,517 --> 00:01:41,551
Apparently i'’m supposed
to watch out for gold diggers.
36
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,068
You really want to do this?
37
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,413
I Don'’t have any choice.
38
00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:46,413
It'’s either that
or military school.
39
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:48,758
I hear that builds character.
40
00:01:48,827 --> 00:01:50,517
I Don'’t know what
to do... i'’m trapped.
41
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,310
Well, I guess we could
see other people...
42
00:01:54,379 --> 00:01:55,827
But just as friends.
43
00:01:55,896 --> 00:01:57,068
That'’s perfect.
44
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:59,344
And it'’ll only be
for a little while.
45
00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:01,655
I mean, my dad comes
up with new goals for me
46
00:02:01,724 --> 00:02:03,620
practically every day.
47
00:02:03,689 --> 00:02:05,137
Think last week it was...
48
00:02:05,206 --> 00:02:08,034
Getting through one
lousy dinner without a fight.
49
00:02:08,103 --> 00:02:09,734
We'’ll still be boyfriend
and girlfriend, right?
50
00:02:09,758 --> 00:02:12,103
Right. But on the sly.
51
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:13,793
We'’ll be like Romeo and Juliet.
52
00:02:13,862 --> 00:02:14,862
Right.
53
00:02:14,896 --> 00:02:18,206
Except for the
taking poison part.
54
00:02:18,275 --> 00:02:19,827
Zelda: Sabrina, we know
55
00:02:19,896 --> 00:02:22,448
Harvey'’s father
is a colossal boob.
56
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,517
But we agree with
him on this one.
57
00:02:24,586 --> 00:02:26,655
What? I can'’t believe
you'’re taking his side.
58
00:02:26,724 --> 00:02:27,896
You'’re young.
59
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:30,000
You shouldtry new
things, meet new people,
60
00:02:30,068 --> 00:02:31,827
have lots of
wonderful experiences.
61
00:02:31,896 --> 00:02:33,896
Oh, that'’s sounds
like a lot of fun.
62
00:02:33,965 --> 00:02:36,413
You need to play the field.
63
00:02:37,517 --> 00:02:39,689
Aunt hilda!
64
00:02:39,758 --> 00:02:41,827
Sorry.
65
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:44,310
It'’s that darn punnitis
flaring up again.
66
00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:46,275
A fine kettle of fish.
67
00:02:46,344 --> 00:02:48,724
Say it. Oh, pleasesay it!
68
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,448
Listen, I know
it'’s painful now,
69
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:53,000
but later on, when you'’re
ready to settle down,
70
00:02:53,068 --> 00:02:54,931
you'’ll know what
to look for in a mate.
71
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000
You'’ve got to watch
out for gold diggers.
72
00:02:57,068 --> 00:02:58,700
But I already see
Harvey less than I want to
73
00:02:58,724 --> 00:03:00,458
and I Don'’t want to
date anyone else but him.
74
00:03:00,482 --> 00:03:02,758
Why Don'’t you try
a nice witch boy?
75
00:03:02,827 --> 00:03:05,482
Let me say this one more time...
76
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:08,551
Harvey, Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey, Harvey, Harvey!
77
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:11,206
Oh, just give it a try.
78
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,241
Mortal boys we have a plenta.
79
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,551
For witch fellows
we need a yenta.
80
00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:18,586
Oh, okay? All right.
81
00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:21,068
So... oh, shoot.
82
00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:22,517
So, who'’s looking?
83
00:03:22,586 --> 00:03:24,068
Are you okay?
84
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,551
Yes, yes, i'’m fine, i'’m fine.
85
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:26,655
Actually, no.
86
00:03:26,724 --> 00:03:29,310
I just broke up
with my boyfriend.
87
00:03:29,379 --> 00:03:30,655
Is he available for Sabrina?
88
00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:32,241
[Gasps]Kidding. Kidding.
89
00:03:32,310 --> 00:03:33,803
If this isn'’t a good
time, you know...
90
00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:36,413
No, no, it'’s, it'’s, it'’s
better that I keep busy.
91
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:37,586
So...
92
00:03:37,655 --> 00:03:39,724
All right, now, this
guy is really cute.
93
00:03:39,793 --> 00:03:42,896
He plays the cello and the
flute and both at the same time.
94
00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:43,896
Huh? Huh?
95
00:03:43,965 --> 00:03:45,724
Harvey hates classical music.
96
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:46,827
Well, then, now,
97
00:03:46,896 --> 00:03:48,655
this guy, he sails
his own yacht,
98
00:03:48,724 --> 00:03:49,896
and lucky for you,
99
00:03:49,965 --> 00:03:52,137
he just got over his
mermaid obsession, huh?
100
00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:55,103
Wish I could say
the same for my ex.
101
00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:56,862
Harvey gets seasick.
102
00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:59,044
Look, who'’s getting this date,
you or this Harvey guy, huh?
103
00:03:59,068 --> 00:04:02,758
Sorry. Look, I
think I have to pass.
104
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,310
Sabrina, some of these
boys are pretty cute.
105
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,551
If I were 200 years younger...
106
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:10,310
Yes, and you still
believed in love.
107
00:04:10,379 --> 00:04:12,482
Look, I just want Harvey
and Harvey wants me.
108
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,000
Neither of us can imagine
being with anyone else.
109
00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:16,896
You have a date already?
110
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,344
It'’s not really a date.
111
00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:19,482
My dad set me up
112
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,620
with the daughter
of one of his clients.
113
00:04:21,689 --> 00:04:23,355
You know, the guy who
owns señor beef-o'’s?
114
00:04:23,379 --> 00:04:25,379
I love that place!
115
00:04:25,448 --> 00:04:28,344
But not anymore.
116
00:04:28,413 --> 00:04:30,379
Are you going to be okay?
117
00:04:30,448 --> 00:04:32,827
Me? I'’m fine.
118
00:04:32,896 --> 00:04:34,275
I have a date this weekend, too.
119
00:04:34,344 --> 00:04:35,448
You do?
120
00:04:35,517 --> 00:04:36,793
With who?
121
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:37,655
You know, the guy.
122
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:39,137
What guy?
123
00:04:39,206 --> 00:04:41,827
The guy we met at the place...
124
00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:43,517
What place?
125
00:04:43,586 --> 00:04:45,586
The place where we...
126
00:04:45,655 --> 00:04:48,413
Why aren'’t you good at this?!
127
00:04:48,482 --> 00:04:50,655
Good at what?
128
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,965
So, what'’s new
with your love life?
129
00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:55,655
Things are
definitely looking up.
130
00:04:55,724 --> 00:04:58,586
I just got the brochure
from that convent.
131
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:02,482
Here'’s the deal:
132
00:05:02,551 --> 00:05:03,482
I need a date.
133
00:05:03,551 --> 00:05:04,620
I need one now.
134
00:05:04,689 --> 00:05:06,931
Okay. By the way, hecalled.
135
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,068
How about that blond
guy you showed me?
136
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:11,137
No, taken.
137
00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:12,206
Already?
138
00:05:12,275 --> 00:05:13,838
Well, it'’s Friday at 5:00.
You snooze, you lose.
139
00:05:13,862 --> 00:05:14,793
You hesitate, you lose a date.
140
00:05:14,862 --> 00:05:15,793
You linger, you...
141
00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:17,827
All right!
142
00:05:17,896 --> 00:05:19,137
There must be somebody.
143
00:05:19,206 --> 00:05:20,758
I have the perfect boy for you.
144
00:05:20,827 --> 00:05:22,517
He'’s a cyclops.
145
00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:24,758
Yes, he is, but he'’s
a very good dancer.
146
00:05:24,827 --> 00:05:25,862
He does have
147
00:05:25,931 --> 00:05:27,620
a tendency to bite, though.
148
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:29,448
[Beeping]Uh-oh.
149
00:05:29,517 --> 00:05:30,838
Oh, look, he'’s
got a date already.
150
00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:32,700
Well, you drag your feet,
you Don'’t get to meet.
151
00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:33,655
Just go.
152
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:34,827
I liked her better
153
00:05:34,896 --> 00:05:36,517
when she was depressed.
154
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,827
[ Chuckling]: Roz
chast just slays me!
155
00:05:39,896 --> 00:05:43,379
I know who we can
set Sabrina up with...
156
00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,379
Pete and Sheila'’s boy.
157
00:05:45,448 --> 00:05:46,517
What'’s his name?
158
00:05:46,586 --> 00:05:49,000
What'’s the matter,
cat got your tongue?
159
00:05:49,068 --> 00:05:52,620
Imagine the grooming
possibilities. Ooh!
160
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:57,896
Oops, sorry. Still got
a little bit of punnitis.
161
00:05:57,965 --> 00:06:00,793
Ah, it'’s got cat hair on it.
162
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:02,241
Welcome to my life.
163
00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:04,172
I remember that boy'’s name...
164
00:06:04,241 --> 00:06:05,931
Dante. that'’s it.
165
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,596
Oh, that'’s a great
idea... He'’s adorable.
166
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:10,172
Smart, cute, laughs
all the time. Great.
167
00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:11,482
Course, we haven'’t seen him
168
00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:13,034
since he was three months old.
169
00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:14,586
He must be your age by now.
170
00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:20,068
This is the coolest
vacuum cleaner i'’ve seen.
171
00:06:20,137 --> 00:06:21,482
It'’s great for flying
172
00:06:21,551 --> 00:06:23,965
but it'’s a little bulky for
cleaning under the bed.
173
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:25,448
These guys are supposed to have
174
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:27,413
the fastest fast food
this side of limbo.
175
00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:28,551
May I take your order?
176
00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:29,965
Two "gotta go" burgers.
177
00:06:30,034 --> 00:06:31,551
Coming at you.
178
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:35,862
Wow, that isfast.
179
00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:37,310
Uh, two chocolate shakes.
180
00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:39,551
Right away.
181
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:42,275
And we'’ll split
and order of fries.
182
00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:43,241
Okay.
183
00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:45,275
Hey!
184
00:06:45,344 --> 00:06:47,310
Sorry, it'’s my first day.
185
00:06:50,482 --> 00:06:52,172
Mind if I smoke?
186
00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:53,448
I Don'’t like cigarettes.
187
00:06:53,517 --> 00:06:54,655
I meant a ham.
188
00:06:57,758 --> 00:06:58,931
I hate to say it
189
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,172
but we'’re a million
light years from home.
190
00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:02,241
I should head back.
191
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:03,551
First close your eyes.
192
00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:04,724
I got a surprise.
193
00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:13,344
Okay, open them.
194
00:07:13,413 --> 00:07:14,413
A star!
195
00:07:14,448 --> 00:07:16,551
It'’s so pretty!
196
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,655
I was going to
say the same thing
197
00:07:18,724 --> 00:07:21,482
about you.
198
00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:22,551
What are you doing?
199
00:07:22,586 --> 00:07:23,965
I'’m tired of this happening.
200
00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:26,241
I want you to take
this punnitis medicine.
201
00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:27,310
Stay away from me.
202
00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:28,896
The last time you
brewed a remedy
203
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,206
it tasted like gym shorts.
204
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,379
This is different.
205
00:07:31,448 --> 00:07:32,896
No!
206
00:07:34,517 --> 00:07:36,068
[ Grunts]
207
00:07:38,931 --> 00:07:40,275
There.
208
00:07:40,344 --> 00:07:43,896
I swear, sometimes
you are such a dictator.
209
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:48,793
Hilda...
210
00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:51,241
Oops.
211
00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:53,689
Finally, someone I
can talk baseball with.
212
00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:56,000
I didn'’t know blind dates
could be this much fun.
213
00:07:56,068 --> 00:07:57,068
Me neither.
214
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:58,896
I, uh...
215
00:07:58,965 --> 00:08:00,931
Salem: Out a
little late, are we?
216
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000
Get in this house
217
00:08:02,068 --> 00:08:03,931
before the neighbors see.
218
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,137
Good night.
219
00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:07,206
Night.
220
00:08:10,068 --> 00:08:12,517
So he showed me all the
cool spots in the universe.
221
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:14,206
Then he took me
out for hamburgers.
222
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,310
I almost forgot.
223
00:08:15,379 --> 00:08:17,448
I had them save you
guys my leftovers.
224
00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:21,620
How thoughtful.
225
00:08:21,689 --> 00:08:25,862
Oh, and look what Dante gave
me when the date was over.
226
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:27,137
Oh, what a sweet boy.
227
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,620
I remember the first
time a boy gave me a star.
228
00:08:29,689 --> 00:08:32,517
The next thing I knew, three
wise men were at the door.
229
00:08:32,586 --> 00:08:33,862
Well, good night.
230
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:34,862
Good night.
231
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,172
Sweet dreams.
232
00:08:38,689 --> 00:08:40,137
She seems so happy.
233
00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:42,448
Remember how we used
to stay up Friday night
234
00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:44,241
telling each other
about our dates?
235
00:08:44,310 --> 00:08:45,620
We haven'’t done that in ages.
236
00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:46,689
I know.
237
00:08:46,724 --> 00:08:49,206
Because we haven'’t
had dates in ages.
238
00:08:49,275 --> 00:08:50,862
At least we have each other.
239
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,275
Oh, my heavens, i'’m
living with my sister.
240
00:08:53,344 --> 00:08:54,896
I'’ve got to call that yenta.
241
00:08:56,275 --> 00:08:58,413
So, how was your date?
242
00:08:58,482 --> 00:08:59,655
Really fun.
243
00:08:59,724 --> 00:09:01,206
But now i'’m worried
about Harvey.
244
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,103
Why?
245
00:09:02,172 --> 00:09:03,793
I Don'’t know
how he'’ll take it.
246
00:09:03,862 --> 00:09:05,827
We weren'’t supposed
to like our dates.
247
00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:06,827
Haven'’t you heard?
248
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,000
He had a great time.
249
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:08,965
He did?
250
00:09:09,034 --> 00:09:10,413
Apparently, his date'’s
251
00:09:10,482 --> 00:09:11,793
a model or something.
252
00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:13,862
Isn'’t... that...
Not particularly
253
00:09:13,931 --> 00:09:15,482
good information?
254
00:09:15,551 --> 00:09:17,551
Are you going to
finish that burrito?
255
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:19,379
I had a great time
on my date, too.
256
00:09:19,448 --> 00:09:22,206
Oh. Well, good.
257
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,000
This is silly.
258
00:09:25,034 --> 00:09:26,793
I mean, we can like other people
259
00:09:26,862 --> 00:09:28,482
and still like each other.
260
00:09:28,551 --> 00:09:29,758
You'’re right.
261
00:09:29,827 --> 00:09:32,344
We'’re just doing this
for our parents anyway.
262
00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:35,068
We'’re being awfully
grown up about this, huh?
263
00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,275
Very mature.
264
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,206
So, what'’s she like?
265
00:09:38,275 --> 00:09:39,724
Okay. What'’s he like?
266
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:40,931
Okay.
267
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,448
Hey, since we'’re being
so mature about this
268
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:46,310
how about the next time
we go out on blind dates
269
00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:47,310
we go together?
270
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,827
Double date?
271
00:09:48,896 --> 00:09:50,310
Great idea.
272
00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:52,793
Looks like everyone'’s a winner.
273
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:55,379
Oh.
274
00:09:55,448 --> 00:09:57,275
Excuse me, I have to go listen
275
00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:59,551
to one of my mom'’s
Janis Ian albums.
276
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,862
You sure you'’re
all right with this?
277
00:10:01,931 --> 00:10:03,620
Absolutely. I'’d love to meet...
278
00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:05,517
Jean.
279
00:10:05,586 --> 00:10:06,689
"Jean?"
280
00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:08,689
I never liked the name "Jean."
281
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:11,517
I never cared for
the name "Mildred."
282
00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:13,413
I'’m curious to
see what she'’s like
283
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:14,482
but "Jean"?
284
00:10:14,517 --> 00:10:15,965
I mean, Jean'’s not a name.
285
00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:17,206
It'’s a pair of pants.
286
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,000
Actually, I think
287
00:10:19,068 --> 00:10:20,517
Jean'’s a very lovely name.
288
00:10:22,448 --> 00:10:26,517
♪ Cheer up, sleepy Jean
289
00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:28,965
♪ oh, what can it mean
290
00:10:29,034 --> 00:10:30,586
♪ to a
291
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:38,655
♪ daydream believer and
a homecoming queen. ♪
292
00:10:39,517 --> 00:10:41,482
Why are you here?
Nobody made a pun.
293
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:43,344
Are you asking me?
294
00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:44,413
Oh, keep it down.
295
00:10:44,448 --> 00:10:45,517
We'’ve got company.
296
00:10:45,586 --> 00:10:47,413
So, uh, what do you say
297
00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:49,413
you and I go out,
cruise for chicks?
298
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,896
No.
299
00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:52,896
Dante, come in.
300
00:10:52,965 --> 00:10:54,103
Hey, how you doing?
301
00:10:54,172 --> 00:10:55,413
You look great. Wow!
302
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:56,758
Better lock my vacuum.
303
00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:58,517
So, feel like going bowling?
304
00:10:58,586 --> 00:10:59,586
Why not?
305
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,448
There'’s a first for everything.
306
00:11:01,517 --> 00:11:03,103
You'’ve never gone
bowling before?
307
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:05,551
I'’ve never even been in
the mortal realm before.
308
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,965
Oh, this can'’t be good.
309
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:11,344
So, this is an authentic
mortal realm house, huh?
310
00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:13,862
Man, you guys
must laugh all day.
311
00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:14,862
Yeah
312
00:11:14,931 --> 00:11:16,655
light switches, wallpaper...
313
00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,344
My sides hurt all the time.
314
00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:20,068
There'’s something
you should know.
315
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,379
You can'’t use magic here.
316
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,586
You'’re kidding?
317
00:11:22,655 --> 00:11:23,862
I'’m serious.
318
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,517
Hey, it'’s your world.
319
00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:27,413
I'’m just bowling in it.
320
00:11:27,482 --> 00:11:28,551
And these are?
321
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,103
Stairs.
322
00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:32,000
Yeah, I knew that.
323
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:33,827
But you have to walk down them.
324
00:11:33,896 --> 00:11:36,517
Get out.
325
00:11:36,586 --> 00:11:39,551
Wait here, i'’ll grab my bag.
326
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:41,620
I can handle this.
327
00:11:41,689 --> 00:11:43,068
Whoa!
328
00:11:45,034 --> 00:11:47,448
You can still bowl, right?
329
00:11:50,896 --> 00:11:52,241
Let me get this straight.
330
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:54,586
You'’re supposed to
roll the ball down there
331
00:11:54,655 --> 00:11:56,896
and hit all those pins
without using magic?
332
00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,551
Yep.
333
00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,896
I Don'’t think it'’s
going to catch on.
334
00:12:00,965 --> 00:12:02,724
So, who'’re we meeting here?
335
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:03,793
My friend Harvey
336
00:12:03,827 --> 00:12:04,896
and his date Jean.
337
00:12:04,965 --> 00:12:06,551
Jean goes to private school.
338
00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:09,172
Probably has her
own credit card.
339
00:12:09,241 --> 00:12:10,896
One of those
little miss perfects.
340
00:12:10,965 --> 00:12:13,137
You two have had your
share of run-ins, huh?
341
00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:15,482
No. We'’ve never met.
342
00:12:15,551 --> 00:12:17,724
Hey, Sabrina. This is Jean.
343
00:12:17,793 --> 00:12:19,517
It is so nice to meet you.
344
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:20,793
And this is Dante.
345
00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:22,137
Hey, cool name.
346
00:12:22,206 --> 00:12:24,586
Jean'’s awful. Let'’s
encase her in mud.
347
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:25,793
No magic.
348
00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,379
I Don'’t like the guy, either.
349
00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:28,482
Leave them alone.
350
00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:30,931
So, how about I get
everybody a soda?
351
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,586
[ Snaps fingers] [ Grunts]
352
00:12:34,482 --> 00:12:36,413
Walk much?
353
00:12:36,482 --> 00:12:38,137
You have a lot of choices there.
354
00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:40,206
I have to go. I have
to meet someone.
355
00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:41,379
Your old boyfriend?
356
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:42,448
No. My therapist.
357
00:12:42,482 --> 00:12:43,793
Now, suffice it to say
358
00:12:43,862 --> 00:12:46,931
that a 450-year-old man
who washes dogs for a living
359
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,793
is not someone you want
to stake your future on.
360
00:12:49,862 --> 00:12:51,586
So enjoy.
361
00:12:53,793 --> 00:12:55,172
On your Mark
362
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:56,896
get set, drool.
363
00:12:56,965 --> 00:12:58,413
Hi. My name is Steve.
364
00:12:58,482 --> 00:12:59,655
I'’m 35 years old.
365
00:12:59,724 --> 00:13:01,655
I have my Ph.D. in astronomy.
366
00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:02,724
Loser.
367
00:13:02,793 --> 00:13:04,551
I'’m the one looking for a date.
368
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,551
Why Don'’t you
wait in the kitchen?
369
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,896
I'’ll be quiet.
370
00:13:07,965 --> 00:13:08,965
Out... now!
371
00:13:12,896 --> 00:13:14,206
Hi.
372
00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,827
Uh, i'’m Jerry.
373
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,206
Uh, i'’m an attorney.
374
00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:19,931
And I guess the best
thing about me is that...
375
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,724
[ With hilda'’s voice]:
I'’m a big fat dweeb.
376
00:13:25,068 --> 00:13:26,655
Hilda!
377
00:13:26,724 --> 00:13:28,344
So it was our third date
378
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,793
and Harvey took me to
a pizza eating contest.
379
00:13:30,862 --> 00:13:32,482
Two large pizzas in 15 minutes
380
00:13:32,551 --> 00:13:33,724
including the crust.
381
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:35,551
We won second
prize... A free calzone.
382
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,000
To this day, whenever I burp
383
00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:38,344
it smells like pepperoni.
384
00:13:38,413 --> 00:13:40,034
Impressive.
385
00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:47,482
I forgot to tell you
386
00:13:47,551 --> 00:13:49,275
his father'’s in the circus.
387
00:13:49,344 --> 00:13:50,551
I'’m Larry
388
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,172
and i'’m writing my dissertation
389
00:13:52,241 --> 00:13:53,620
on the Roman poet catullus.
390
00:13:53,689 --> 00:13:55,310
But on weekends
391
00:13:55,379 --> 00:13:57,344
I like to cut loose with haiku.
392
00:13:57,413 --> 00:13:58,620
He doesn'’t seem so bad.
393
00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:05,655
A big hello to all
the ladies out there.
394
00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:06,827
The name'’s Salem
395
00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:09,275
but you can call me Dr. Love.
396
00:14:09,344 --> 00:14:11,275
What are you doing in there?
397
00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:13,068
Hey, I got wants and needs
398
00:14:13,137 --> 00:14:15,344
that a scratching
post just can'’t fulfill.
399
00:14:15,413 --> 00:14:19,206
Man, that hologram
makes me look fat!
400
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,275
Hey.
401
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:22,896
You want me to get
your bowling shoes?
402
00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:24,586
[ Snaps fingers]: Don'’t bother.
403
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,655
I got her some.
404
00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:27,103
Right.
405
00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:28,862
I didn'’t realize you were
406
00:14:28,931 --> 00:14:30,068
such a hardcore bowler.
407
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:31,379
Oh, yeah. I bowl a lot...
408
00:14:31,448 --> 00:14:32,758
At home.
409
00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:34,034
Really?
410
00:14:34,103 --> 00:14:36,034
Well, we better get our stuff.
411
00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:38,413
Cut it out, would you!
412
00:14:38,482 --> 00:14:39,620
Lighten up.
413
00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:41,413
I'’m trying to keep
myself amused.
414
00:14:41,482 --> 00:14:42,724
These mortals are boring.
415
00:14:42,793 --> 00:14:44,310
I'’m half mortal, you know!
416
00:14:44,379 --> 00:14:45,896
Really?
417
00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:47,482
You Don'’t look it.
418
00:14:47,551 --> 00:14:49,000
Who'’s next?
419
00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:50,586
Hi. My name'’s Ron.
420
00:14:50,655 --> 00:14:52,413
I guess my biggest achievement
421
00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:54,241
is my nobel prize in science.
422
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,655
But i'’m not a nerd.
423
00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:57,655
I also have one in literature.
424
00:14:57,724 --> 00:15:00,137
And I do have a dark side.
425
00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:02,827
I'’ve got my fair share
of parking tickets.
426
00:15:02,896 --> 00:15:04,517
Ooh!
427
00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:06,068
Sounds dangerous.
428
00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:07,275
This is the guy
429
00:15:07,344 --> 00:15:08,551
for me.
430
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,793
He'’s smart,
attractive and exciting.
431
00:15:10,862 --> 00:15:12,103
What do you guys think?
432
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,551
Both: Snore.
433
00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,034
All right!
434
00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:19,620
Dante, you'’re up.
435
00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:23,000
[ Grunts]
436
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:28,103
Don'’t worry.
437
00:15:28,172 --> 00:15:29,758
You'’ll get the hang of it.
438
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:30,896
[ Snaps fingers]
439
00:15:33,448 --> 00:15:34,758
How did you do that?
440
00:15:34,827 --> 00:15:36,206
Just do it the way I did it.
441
00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:43,310
[ Snaps fingers]
442
00:15:47,517 --> 00:15:49,000
You'’ll get the hang of it.
443
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:51,896
I'’ve never seen
anything like that...
444
00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:53,689
Except on the flintstones.
445
00:15:53,758 --> 00:15:55,275
Oh, flowers?
446
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:56,620
Champagne?
447
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,137
What did you bring for Zelda?
448
00:15:58,206 --> 00:16:01,379
I hope your sister'’s
half as much fun as you.
449
00:16:01,448 --> 00:16:02,448
Half'’s about right.
450
00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:05,482
Zelda!
451
00:16:05,551 --> 00:16:06,827
Ron'’s here!
452
00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:11,068
What do you think?
453
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,827
He'’s cute, funny.
454
00:16:12,896 --> 00:16:14,310
He'’s a real dear.
455
00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:17,034
I am so sorry.
456
00:16:18,965 --> 00:16:22,620
There'’s something
very wrong with you.
457
00:16:24,379 --> 00:16:26,379
You'’re still going
out with him?
458
00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:29,413
Yes. We'’re going to see
my best friend'’s wedding.
459
00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:30,620
Had enough?
460
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,379
You couldn'’t beat
me with three arms.
461
00:16:32,448 --> 00:16:33,827
That so, huh?
462
00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:38,344
Man, that was weird.
463
00:16:38,413 --> 00:16:40,137
Jean: Look at that.
464
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:42,896
Oh!
465
00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:46,517
I told my dad these
were cheap hats.
466
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,172
Aunt hilda?
467
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:50,724
Oh, hi.
468
00:16:50,793 --> 00:16:52,827
I was hungry for some cereal.
469
00:16:52,896 --> 00:16:54,620
Tried to conjure a bowl.
470
00:16:54,689 --> 00:16:56,241
Help me. Dante'’s
out of control.
471
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,758
He won'’t stop using his magic.
472
00:16:57,827 --> 00:16:58,965
Harvey!
473
00:16:59,034 --> 00:17:01,931
Have you tried using
a power outage spell?
474
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
Good idea.
475
00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:04,793
Do they serve corn flakes here?
476
00:17:05,827 --> 00:17:07,103
Best be heading home.
477
00:17:07,172 --> 00:17:09,482
Good thing I wasn'’t in
the mood for baked Alaska.
478
00:17:09,551 --> 00:17:12,793
Shoot! Man, is it cold here!
479
00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:15,241
You haven'’t been nice,
you haven'’t been cordial
480
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:18,068
so for the next five minutes
you'’re going to be mortal.
481
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:21,620
Hey, you gave me a power outage.
482
00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:23,379
It'’s a time-out, mister.
483
00:17:26,103 --> 00:17:27,448
[ Bowling pins crash]
484
00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:28,827
Whoo!
485
00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:31,103
That makes it 175 to 16.
486
00:17:31,172 --> 00:17:32,620
Want to go double or nothing?
487
00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:34,310
In a sec.
488
00:17:34,379 --> 00:17:35,551
4:58, 4:59...
489
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:36,862
Five minutes!
490
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:37,931
Spell'’s over.
491
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:38,965
It'’s party time.
492
00:17:39,034 --> 00:17:40,206
Oh, no.
493
00:17:40,275 --> 00:17:41,482
Time for plan b.
494
00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:43,000
Oh, no, there is no plan b.
495
00:17:46,137 --> 00:17:47,344
Your hat'’s slipping!
496
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:48,724
Harvey!
497
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,034
Sabrina!
498
00:17:52,448 --> 00:17:55,482
I'’m beginning to get a
real feel for this game.
499
00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:00,103
Noooo!
500
00:18:00,172 --> 00:18:02,379
[ Sighs]
501
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:03,310
Dante?
502
00:18:03,379 --> 00:18:04,310
What?
503
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:05,482
Date'’s over.
504
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,000
Fine. I'’m out of here.
505
00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:09,344
What'’s the point in
hanging out with mortals
506
00:18:09,413 --> 00:18:10,827
if you can'’t torture them?
507
00:18:12,137 --> 00:18:13,068
Whew!
508
00:18:13,137 --> 00:18:14,931
I am done with hats for a while.
509
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,034
Where'’d Harvey go?
510
00:18:16,103 --> 00:18:17,758
Uh, he went home.
511
00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:19,275
Forgot to feed his fish.
512
00:18:19,344 --> 00:18:20,965
I can'’t believe
he'’d leave me here.
513
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,551
What kind of guy would do that?
514
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,275
We just went over that. Harvey.
515
00:18:24,344 --> 00:18:26,103
He said he was sorry.
516
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,275
[ Sighs]: I thought
he really liked me.
517
00:18:28,344 --> 00:18:29,689
Sorry.
518
00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:30,931
Got to go.
519
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:34,827
Mmm! Hmm!
520
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,551
Cheese. Cheese good.
521
00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:38,137
Mmm!
522
00:18:38,206 --> 00:18:39,551
He seems sort of dumb.
523
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,793
He'’s a pinhead.
524
00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:42,344
Rock and rubble
525
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,551
thunder and wind
526
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,275
release this poor schlub
527
00:18:45,344 --> 00:18:46,689
from his bowling pin.
528
00:18:49,482 --> 00:18:51,068
How'’d I get here?
529
00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:51,965
Whew!
530
00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,068
Hi, Sabrina.
531
00:18:53,137 --> 00:18:54,344
Mmm. Hmm.
532
00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:55,896
Cheese good. Mmm.
533
00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:58,241
There'’s a little
residual pinheadedness.
534
00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:59,344
You look tired.
535
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:00,862
Maybe you should go home.
536
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,172
Home, hmm. Yeah.
537
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,689
Sabrina, we have to apologize.
538
00:19:08,758 --> 00:19:10,620
I'’m sorry we set
you up with Dante
539
00:19:10,689 --> 00:19:12,068
that antimortal creep.
540
00:19:12,137 --> 00:19:14,793
He turned out to be
nothing but a big bonehead.
541
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,413
Hey!
542
00:19:17,482 --> 00:19:20,068
And they say all puns are bad.
543
00:19:20,137 --> 00:19:21,137
Come on.
544
00:19:21,206 --> 00:19:23,551
I got my school
pictures tomorrow.
545
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,689
Great news... I
finally got a date.
546
00:19:25,758 --> 00:19:27,827
See? It was just
a matter of time.
547
00:19:27,896 --> 00:19:29,689
A third cousin'’s okay, right?
548
00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:30,827
[ Chuckles]: Sure.
549
00:19:30,896 --> 00:19:31,931
Bye. See ya.
550
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000
Hey.
551
00:19:33,068 --> 00:19:34,206
Hey! How you doing?
552
00:19:34,275 --> 00:19:35,517
Have you talked to Jean?
553
00:19:35,586 --> 00:19:38,103
I keep calling, but she
doesn'’t answer the phone.
554
00:19:38,172 --> 00:19:39,689
What'’d I do wrong?
555
00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:42,965
[ Ringing]
556
00:19:43,034 --> 00:19:44,620
Oh!
557
00:19:44,689 --> 00:19:45,896
Hello?
558
00:19:47,379 --> 00:19:48,655
Harvey, it'’s for you.
559
00:19:50,793 --> 00:19:51,896
Hello?
560
00:19:51,965 --> 00:19:53,068
Jean?
561
00:19:53,137 --> 00:19:54,310
Harvey?
562
00:19:54,379 --> 00:19:55,655
This is weird.
563
00:19:55,724 --> 00:19:58,379
I Don'’t even remember
dialing the phone.
564
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:02,172
But... I have been
thinking about you.
565
00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:03,275
Really?
566
00:20:03,344 --> 00:20:04,379
Me, too.
567
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:11,137
♪ I'’ll love you this year ♪
568
00:20:11,206 --> 00:20:14,137
♪ i'’ll love you next year ♪
569
00:20:14,206 --> 00:20:16,068
♪ and then forever...
570
00:20:16,137 --> 00:20:18,896
I promised myself
I wouldn'’t cry.
571
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:23,034
♪ I'’ll always need you ♪
572
00:20:23,103 --> 00:20:25,931
♪ i'’ll never leave you ♪
573
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,724
♪ i'’ll love you forever. ♪
574
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,137
You know
575
00:20:31,206 --> 00:20:34,275
these kind of things
never happen to Peter tork.
576
00:20:34,344 --> 00:20:36,413
Why are you smiling?
It'’s a sad song.
577
00:20:36,482 --> 00:20:38,482
Because I have a date.
578
00:20:38,551 --> 00:20:39,620
With who?
579
00:20:40,758 --> 00:20:42,241
Are you ready, love?
580
00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:44,241
Uh, could we go to a restaurant?
581
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,241
You know, it'’s been three days
582
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:47,551
and nobody'’s fed me.
583
00:20:51,172 --> 00:20:52,172
One last time.
584
00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:54,862
After three, this
leg to the left.
585
00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:55,931
Got it.
586
00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:56,896
It'’s like line dancing.
587
00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,344
You ready?
588
00:20:58,413 --> 00:21:00,413
One, two, three.
589
00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:02,448
Ow!
590
00:21:02,482 --> 00:21:03,517
Oh, sorry.
591
00:21:03,586 --> 00:21:05,724
Do I have to do
this next to her?
592
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:07,000
That'’s all right.
593
00:21:07,068 --> 00:21:09,344
We had this problem
with Micky and Mike
594
00:21:09,413 --> 00:21:10,689
but it all worked out.
595
00:21:10,758 --> 00:21:12,034
You ready, ladies?
596
00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:13,448
Here we go. One more time.
597
00:21:13,517 --> 00:21:14,793
Wait a minute.
598
00:21:14,862 --> 00:21:16,241
One thing.
599
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:18,344
Who'’s got their hand on my bum?
600
00:21:18,413 --> 00:21:19,586
That would be me.
601
00:21:21,620 --> 00:21:24,655
One, two, three.
602
00:21:24,724 --> 00:21:25,724
Ready.
603
00:21:29,517 --> 00:21:31,413
I hope none of my
friends come over.
604
00:21:31,482 --> 00:21:32,758
Can I go home now?
39591
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