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1
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,888
So I said,
"If opposing counsel's
2
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:20,266
"invoking fiduciary
liability precedent
3
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,143
"under the terms of
Landgraf v. Henson,
4
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:25,146
"Your Honor, please,
by all means, go ahead,
5
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:28,649
rescind the plaintiff's de facto
petition for injunctive relief."
6
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,694
- It was fun. It was fun.
- Yeah.
7
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,487
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I'll be right back.
8
00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:36,657
So funny. "Injunctive relief."
That tickled my funny bone.
9
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,328
What's up, Nick?
10
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:45,041
Fucking sucks dick
about Grandma, huh?
11
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:46,250
Yeah.
12
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,169
Old woman fucking
murdered like that.
13
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:51,255
- Nick, she had cancer.
- We'll never know the truth.
14
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,132
- We absolutely know the truth.
- Yeah.
15
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,051
Grandma had cancer for 10 years.
16
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:57,178
You don't just die from cancer,
Jason!
17
00:02:58,304 --> 00:03:01,265
- Calm down...
- See you at the crossroads, Grandma.
18
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:04,435
What are you doing?
Are you kidding me? Right now?
19
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,270
Hey, get your shit together!
20
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:09,398
My dad and my fiancรฉe are literally
standing right next to us.
21
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:10,775
- Beyoncรฉ's here?
- No.
22
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,651
- What is that?
23
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,153
Hmm?
24
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,446
- What are you doing?
- I'm just...
25
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,990
- Are you fucking high right now?
- No, this isn't...
26
00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:19,492
- You're high as a kite!
- It's an e-cigarette.
27
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:22,411
It's filled with a little weed,
but it's an e-cigarette.
28
00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:24,288
Grow up, man!
What are you doing?
29
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,624
"Grow up"?
How adult are you?
30
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,667
What, do you listen
to NPR in your Volvo?
31
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:31,545
You play racquetball competitively
against business associates?
32
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:34,131
- No. No.
- You ever go away to a rented house
33
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,883
with other couples
and then play Scattergories
34
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,761
- over a bottle of white wine?
- Jason.
35
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:42,598
Uh...
36
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,768
I just blew a shot at
your grandma's memory.
37
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,087
Poor Grandpa...
38
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:38,154
Our first reading
is from Deuteronomy 30:19.
39
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,534
"This day I call
the heavens and the earth
40
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,536
as a witness against you..."
41
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,372
"...that I have set before you
life and death..."
42
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,541
Hey, babe, I found the tie
you're going to wear
43
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,419
to the rehearsal brunch Sunday.
44
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:56,338
Do you like the coral
color or the salmon?
45
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:58,215
"...that the race
is not to the swift..."
46
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,717
Either one.
47
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,093
"...nor the battle to the strong."
48
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:05,389
Babe, what's wrong?
49
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,224
Coral or salmon?
50
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:10,644
- Well, what do you like?
- I mean... I like the coral.
51
00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:13,814
That's what
I was going to say, too.
52
00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,483
- Okay, cool. Okay.
- Okay.
53
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,569
Coral it is!
54
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,405
It's going to be a special day.
55
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,991
"...now choose life,
56
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:27,161
so that you
and your children shall live."
57
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:32,541
Anyway, I'm down
in Valdosta right now.
58
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:34,251
I opened up
a fucking pet shop...
59
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:37,421
- Not pet shop, "puppy mill."
- Puppy mill...
60
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:39,798
You know, designer dogs
get a bad name,
61
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,759
but they can go
for quite a pretty penny.
62
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,594
- Really?
- It's just hard to get them to mate.
63
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,930
- Oh.
- Because the little dogs,
64
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,515
they don't wanna
fuck the big dogs,
65
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,850
and the big dogs, they don't wanna
fuck the little dogs...
66
00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:52,520
So I gotta manually
do it, you know.
67
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:55,189
I gotta spread
and manually shoot in.
68
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,316
- Uh-huh.
- So, what's up with you?
69
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,318
- Well, I'm keeping pretty busy...
- Cool.
70
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:02,613
- Hey, Diane, how's it going?
- Hi, Nick.
71
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,448
- Hey, Nick.
- I just don't understand why you have
72
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:07,034
to drive down to Florida
tomorrow already, Dad!
73
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,202
We just had the funeral.
74
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,704
Your grandmother and I were there
at this time every year.
75
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,039
It's what she would have wanted.
76
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:15,918
I'd drive down myself,
except they took my license away.
77
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,170
But why does Jason have
to be the one to drive you?
78
00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:19,755
He's so busy at work...
79
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,924
Got the wedding coming up next weekend,
the rehearsal brunch.
80
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,135
You know, the entire law
firm is coming to this.
81
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,470
- It's true, Grandpa.
- Jason...
82
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:27,680
We have a lot of stuff,
Meredith and I...
83
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:29,515
I'll handle it.
84
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:30,975
Go ahead.
85
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,519
How about Cousin Nick? Huh, Dad?
86
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,646
Why doesn't Nick do it?
87
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,316
We got this chocolate lab down at
the store that is just so horny,
88
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,653
every time I touch the back of its ear,
it just gushes cum.
89
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,489
- Okay.
- I mean, like a squirting...
90
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,657
Is that your dog?
91
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,035
Nick isn't legally allowed
to leave the state of Georgia anymore.
92
00:06:50,119 --> 00:06:52,580
I've barely seen this guy
since high school.
93
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,331
What's wrong with spending
some time with him?
94
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:57,418
Oh, so spending time with family
is suddenly important to you now?
95
00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:00,087
Look, he can come here
tomorrow morning for breakfast.
96
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,797
We can drive down
to Boca during the day,
97
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,799
maybe play a round of golf or two,
98
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:06,010
then he'd be back here
in Atlanta the next day.
99
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,429
He can't just
flake off for two days!
100
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,974
The risk versus reward here is just...
I don't see it happening.
101
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:16,020
It's what she would
have wanted, that's all.
102
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:20,733
But if you have to get ready for your
wedding, if you're that busy...
103
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,327
I just don't understand
why he wants you to take him.
104
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,745
You're not even that close.
105
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,622
Well, we used to be.
106
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:36,373
Grandpa and I got along growing up.
107
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:40,127
We used to build these model trains
every Christmas, so I brought him...
108
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,421
Well, it seems like we're cutting it
a little close here, you know,
109
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:46,175
- with the rehearsal brunch on Friday...
- I know. I know.
110
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:49,595
And by the way, I can't find any of the
Martha's Vineyard vacation photos
111
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,348
for the slide show.
I'm just freaking out.
112
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,933
That's because they're on my laptop,
which I've got right here.
113
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,393
So I'll send them
to the wedding planner.
114
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:57,728
You don't have to worry about anything.
115
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:02,066
Thanks. And your dad says take 75,
because 16 takes forever.
116
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,942
Yeah, I know. He's got
it all mapped out for me.
117
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:06,070
And can you take my car, sweetie?
118
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,489
I need the SUV for the wine.
119
00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:25,422
Grandpa?
120
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,594
Grandpa?
121
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,536
Grandpa?
122
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:06,547
Hey! You made it!
123
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,049
Give me a minute...
124
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,760
Oh, God! Shit!
125
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:14,096
Grab my ass!
126
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,767
- You ready to hit the road?
- I'm really sorry, Grandpa.
127
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:21,645
I didn't think you'd be doing that.
128
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,647
So you caught me
taking a number three.
129
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,566
- Big deal, right?
- Number three?
130
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:28,068
Have a drink.
131
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,155
No. I'm driving, so...
132
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:37,286
I just got to finish up my exercises,
and then we'll hop on 16 to 95.
133
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:41,749
Dad says we should take 75 to 95.
It's more direct.
134
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,375
Dad's full of shit.
135
00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:46,003
Grandpa, are you sure you're okay?
136
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,465
Thanks for doing this,
by the way.
137
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:52,509
Those fuckheads down at the DMV
took my goddamn license away
138
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,011
because of these fucking
cataracts in my eye.
139
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,764
But I can still hit the shit
out of a golf ball, that's for sure!
140
00:09:56,847 --> 00:10:00,058
I made a tee time for us in Florida
for this afternoon.
141
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,269
You can use your
grandmother's lady clubs,
142
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,687
they're right there
by the front door.
143
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,273
Okay.
144
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,941
All right, you ready?
145
00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,651
I thought the plan was
to have breakfast here?
146
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:12,821
That's your breakfast. Now let's go get
in that giant labia you drove up in
147
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:14,990
and get the fuck out of here.
148
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:29,213
You sure I should be
driving with this, Grandpa?
149
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,048
Don't worry, if you spill it,
150
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,925
this giant tampon we're driving in
should soak it up.
151
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:44,228
Just finishing a work email
152
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:48,232
for the Steinhart file...
153
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,985
So you're a lawyer at your dad's
firm now, is that right?
154
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,404
That's right, and Meredith is too.
155
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,740
You know, her dad is one of
the managing partners there, so...
156
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,992
- I know, that's...
- Yeah.
157
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,495
It couldn't have worked out better.
158
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,747
Because it's just that I remember
when you were in high school,
159
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:06,416
you told me how much you wanted to be
a photographer, travel the world.
160
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,626
That sort of thing.
161
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,921
You remember when I got you that
subscription to Time magazine?
162
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:15,008
Yeah, I used to be
into photography, but, um...
163
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,177
I mean, with Dad
being at the firm, pfft,
164
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:20,472
it just made so much more sense
to focus on a college curriculum
165
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,932
that stressed the law school track.
166
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,642
I mean, I love what I do, Grandpa.
167
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,937
Being a corporate lawyer is awesome,
I get to handle SEC compliance...
168
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,356
- No shit!
- Yeah. Yeah.
169
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,775
You handle SEC compliance?
170
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,903
- LP agreements.
- Oh, man, I didn't know that.
171
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:36,780
- LLC agreements.
- You're shitting me!
172
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:40,284
Being a corporate lawyer,
it's got its upsides.
173
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,828
- You know what I'd rather do?
- What?
174
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:45,622
I'd rather let Queen Latifah
shit in my mouth
175
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,125
from a fucking hot air balloon.
176
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,961
That's me. I'm gonna hit
that liquor store over there,
177
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,755
get some more of the creature. Meet you
back at the Dildomobile in five.
178
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:57,092
You're paying the check,
Alan Douche-owitz.
179
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,180
Where do I know that guy from?
He looks so familiar.
180
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,600
He looks like
Abercrombie fucked Fitch.
181
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,768
Yeah, while J.Crew J'd-off.
182
00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:09,271
Shit! No, you guys, he was...
It's so funny.
183
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:12,566
He was my lab partner
in photography class, freshman year.
184
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:15,819
No shit!
He's a Florida alum?
185
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,487
Lenore, you can totally
finish the trifecta.
186
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:20,157
Oh, my God, I already
have alum, remember?
187
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,784
I fucked that crying divorced guy, Tony.
188
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,536
- With the big balls.
- Right. Yeah.
189
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:25,787
- In the porta-potty.
- Yeah.
190
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,122
- At the tailgate.
- Yeah.
191
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,206
I need a professor.
192
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,334
Wait, I'm sorry.
What's the trifecta again?
193
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,170
It's this thing I read about
194
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,298
where in my senior year
I have to fuck a freshman,
195
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,591
an alumni, and a professor.
196
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,676
- Where did you read that?
- In my diary.
197
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,971
- Where I wrote it...
- Yeah.
198
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:45,724
He used to take
the most beautiful portraits
199
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,684
without using any filters
or Photoshop...
200
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,687
- I've read your diary.
- He was amazing.
201
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772
Oh, my God, you did?
202
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:52,981
- Yeah.
- Did you like it?
203
00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:55,692
You guys aren't listening.
I'm gonna go say hi to him. Okay?
204
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,694
- Slut...
- Cool...
205
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:01,073
I hope you don't get
Tommy Hilfingered.
206
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,700
That was really late,
but it still counts.
207
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:05,702
Just like all my periods...
208
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:06,787
What?
209
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,043
Hi. How are you?
210
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,879
Good. Here you go,
you can keep the change.
211
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,632
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not... You...
212
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,678
Okay.
213
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:30,060
- Guys? Guys, listen to me.
- What?
214
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,645
- Let's go.
- Bitch, what?
215
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,438
- Shut the fuck up! Go!
- Oh, my God!
216
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,276
You all set?
217
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,862
Yeah, I just gave my money
to the other waitress, sorry.
218
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:43,073
There is no other waitress.
219
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,952
I'm the only one who's
ever worked here. Ever...
220
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,579
Shit! This fucking piece
of shit car never starts!
221
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,873
Hey!
222
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,125
Hey!
223
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:56,920
God, he's like a Mitt Romney Terminator.
224
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,463
Excuse me!
225
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:02,217
Sorry, my shift is actually over,
so... Sorry...
226
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,761
- Oh, no way.
- What?
227
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,722
- I know you.
- No.
228
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,640
Yeah, I do. You were
in my photography class.
229
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,184
You took all those landscapes. Right?
230
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,980
- Shadia.
- Yeah. Shadia.
231
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,399
Holy shit, you're Shadia?
232
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,109
- Yeah. Shadia.
- Shadia.
233
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,528
What the fuck!
234
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,281
Shadia. It means
"singer" in Arabic.
235
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,659
Or in ancient Arabic,
"al-munshida alati tunadi lel-mei."
236
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:30,370
Or, "she whose name
calls others to water."
237
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:32,789
- That's actually right.
- Shadia, this is my...
238
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:35,375
Dr. Richards. I teach history
at the University of Georgia.
239
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:37,294
You're a professor?
240
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,546
Yeah. Why? You looking
for some extra credit?
241
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,716
Jason and I are doing
a story on the Middle East.
242
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,718
He's a photographer
for Time magazine.
243
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,805
You know, I lost my virginity
at my pop-pop's bingo night.
244
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:49,973
My name's Lenore.
245
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:55,020
"The rare and radiant maiden
whom the angels named Lenore"
246
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,730
Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore'"
247
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:02,611
- Diplomaticos, huh?
- Hey, you know your cigars.
248
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,196
What are you,
half Cuban or something?
249
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,073
Actually, I am, professor.
250
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,203
- The bottom half.
- Okay.
251
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:12,287
Okay, yeah, we're heading out.
252
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,455
- Yeah.
- Good to see you.
253
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:14,664
We're going
to Daytona Beach for the week.
254
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,125
Oh, my God, and we should have been
there three fucking hours ago,
255
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:19,211
so let's go, bitches!
256
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,213
- Holy shit.
- What?
257
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:23,799
Nothing. You're just really gay.
258
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:27,385
Oh, am I?
Thanks, Captain Gaydar.
259
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:29,846
Jesus! You know,
I'm also black, right?
260
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,848
Yeah, I know. That's funny too.
261
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,267
So you guys wanna tag
along for a bit maybe?
262
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:37,020
Party some babies into us?
263
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,313
- Absolutely not!
- Absolutely not!
264
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:41,399
- Why?
- We have a very important tee time.
265
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,567
Of course you do.
266
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:44,402
And do you also have to take a nap
before you play Mahjong?
267
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,154
- No, it's shuffleboard.
- Shuffleboard.
268
00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:47,197
And then early dinner at 4:00.
269
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,533
We have a long-standing bet.
Who's the better golfer.
270
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,701
Obviously I've got the bigger 3-wood...
271
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,788
Good. Maybe you can use it
to hit your balls right into my vagina.
272
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,706
- Holy shit!
- Okay, we're going inside now.
273
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,375
- Jesus!
- Let's go. That's enough.
274
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,961
- Bye, professor.
- Thanks for lunch.
275
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,295
Peace!
276
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,966
- Nice girl.
- Yeah.
277
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,149
Well? How do I look?
278
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:24,568
Like the keynote speaker
at a butt-fucking convention.
279
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,819
- What?
- What?
280
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,612
- What?
- What?
281
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,657
We're gonna write in the first hole,
it's an easy par-4.
282
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,951
- No, no, no, no. Hey...
- Jump in.
283
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,453
- This is against the rules, Grandpa.
- Fuck the rules. Jump in. Come on.
284
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:38,707
Not to mention,
a breach in golf etiquette.
285
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,584
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!
286
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,085
- Whoa! Hey!
- Out of my way, butt-fuckers!
287
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,587
Really? What are you doing?
288
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,422
We gotta get this guy
to his butt-fucking convention.
289
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,799
What are you trying to do, man?
What was that all about?
290
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:50,677
Hey. Now there's
a million-dollar swing!
291
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,429
I'm sorry!
292
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:56,641
You can go in front of us
if you want to. We are not very good.
293
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,811
No, it's a good cut, you're just
not bending your knees enough.
294
00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:01,771
I'm a licensed golf pro.
You mind if I show you?
295
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,107
Yes, please.
296
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,818
Maybe bend over
a little bit... Here.
297
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,778
That feels about right,
doesn't it?
298
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:11,865
Hands on my shaft...
The shaft.
299
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,034
Let me just get
my finger in there.
300
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:17,621
One, two, three... Oh!
301
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:21,041
Oh, my God!
Did you see that? Thank you!
302
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:22,751
How long have you
been teaching golf?
303
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,045
Ever since I retired
from being an astronaut.
304
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:29,049
It's nice to see some
heavenly bodies around here too.
305
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:32,636
Hey, Grandpa, don't you think we should
probably start golfing soon...
306
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,971
- What the fuck?
- Wanna be a lamb and get that for me?
307
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,974
- Did he just call you "Grandpa"?
- Who, Pepe?
308
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,310
He's a retard.
Got it pretty bad, too.
309
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,270
He thinks I'm his grandpa.
310
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:44,981
He usually sits at home
just drawing dolphins all day.
311
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,691
We used to let him
out on his own,
312
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:49,903
but the raping got so bad
that we just...
313
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,740
Got it.
314
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,075
- You guys want a refill?
- Sure.
315
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,869
- Absolutely!
- BRB!
316
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,705
I'm sorry about my grandpa.
317
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,791
He's...
He's not doing too well.
318
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,627
My grandma just passed
and the funeral was yesterday.
319
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,587
Oh...
320
00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:10,632
I'm actually a lawyer,
not a retard.
321
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:15,387
I handle of lot of important issues:
SEC compliance,
322
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,514
LLC agreements, LP agreements.
323
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,350
That sort of stuff.
324
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,687
Yeah, um, well,
I think we're gonna get going.
325
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,148
- Nice to meet you, Pepe.
- Nice...
326
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:31,778
Fuck!
327
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,697
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What happened?
328
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,657
Why are they going?
What did you do?
329
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,866
What? I told them the truth.
330
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,576
I told them that I'm getting
married next week,
331
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:41,413
and you're not well
because your wife just died.
332
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,415
What are you,
fucking vagina repellent?
333
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,624
Those cougars wanted to party!
334
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,126
- They wanted to party?
- Yes!
335
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,377
Do you hear yourself?
336
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,170
Grandpa, are you kidding
me right now? Grandma...
337
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,297
I'm trying to listen to myself.
338
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,383
Grandma's funeral was yesterday!
Now you wanna hit on college girls?
339
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,011
You're jerking off to porn?
340
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,596
- What's wrong with you?
- Jason, I want to fuck!
341
00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,931
Oh, my God...
342
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:03,059
For the first time in 40 years
I'm single and I want to fuck.
343
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,687
I want to fuck until my dick falls off.
344
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,940
I want to fuck a horse
and I wanna drink its blood!
345
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:10,025
I'm gonna throw up.
346
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:13,820
I was faithful to your grandmother
every day for 40 years,
347
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,239
even through the menopause,
even through the cancer.
348
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,451
She was the love of my life.
I'll miss her every goddamn day.
349
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:23,747
But she told me on her deathbed,
"You get back out there again."
350
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,207
I haven't had sex in 15 years, Jason,
351
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,251
and I want to fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
352
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:29,502
Oh, so that's what this is all about?
353
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,921
This whole thing.
You didn't want to be with me.
354
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,381
You wanted me
to drive you down to Boca
355
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:34,716
so I could be your fucking wingman?
356
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,842
Well, obviously
I made a bad decision
357
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,594
because you're nothing but
a cock-blocking machine.
358
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,305
I don't know what you are. You're like
the Israeli Iron Dome defense system,
359
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,973
but with vaginas
instead of missiles.
360
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,350
- What?
- You're like some sort of
361
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:46,561
cock-blocking Terminator sent back from
the future to cock-block humans.
362
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:47,979
- Oh!
- The robots should have sent you
363
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:49,439
instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger,
364
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,733
you could have cock-blocked
John Connor's parents
365
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,943
- so he would never have been born!
- Shut up, Grandpa!
366
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,320
- Shut up!
- What got into you?
367
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,488
I remember you in high school,
368
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,615
you were ripping people's dicks off
on the football field,
369
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,283
talking about traveling the world!
370
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,452
Now you're pushing some papers
at a fucking law firm
371
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,037
and probably peeing sitting down.
372
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,830
Grandpa, I don't know what you thought
this weekend was going to be about,
373
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:10,960
but I came here for one reason,
to get you to Boca. That's it.
374
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,129
- Fine.
- Now can I please play some golf?
375
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,547
- Fucking golf.
- Okay.
376
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,174
Cocky McBlockerson.
377
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:23,890
What the fuck?
378
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,311
Bam!
379
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,523
Who does your taxes?
H&R Cock-block?
380
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,442
Stop it.
381
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,657
Bam!
382
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,826
Are you still Jenny
from the cock-block?
383
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,412
What the fuck?
What is your obsession with my ass?
384
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,206
Your vibrator's on.
385
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,668
You can't get into it anyway
because you don't know my code.
386
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,587
Looks like your grandpa
remembered your birthday!
387
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:56,923
- What? Give me that!
- We're going to fucking Daytona.
388
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:00,218
We're not going to Daytona,
389
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,430
because I've got
the keys to the golf cart.
390
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,518
What are you doing?
391
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,769
Hey.
392
00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:12,856
- How'd you do that?
- Coming or staying, Jack Dicklaus?
393
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,774
- Grandpa?
- Hurry up, Bubba Twatson.
394
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,818
- Grandpa, stop.
- Gary Player-with-my-balls.
395
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:17,902
Stop the cart!
396
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,529
Fred Couples-of-big-dicks-in-your-ass.
397
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,824
- Oh, my God. Grandpa! Stop!
- Michelle Wies-all-over-my-face.
398
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,460
WELCOME TO DAYTONA BEACH
399
00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:46,139
Now, this is what
I'm fucking talking about.
400
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:48,183
This is so fucked up.
401
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:50,935
Calm down, you'll get to hang out
with that gypsy girl you like.
402
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:53,062
- I don't like her.
- Oh, yes, you do.
403
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:55,773
That's why you didn't deny being
a photographer for Time magazine.
404
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,902
You can hang out with her,
I can have vaginal sex with Lenore.
405
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:01,738
It all works out! We can even
go visit my old army buddy, Stinky.
406
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,156
Stinky?
407
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,992
Which tiki bar are they in?
408
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,536
Oh, shit. Shit. Shit.
409
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:10,079
- What's that?
- It's Meredith.
410
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,998
- Please, I've got to answer that.
- Ah, tell her to fuck off.
411
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:13,082
Grandpa!
412
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,668
I'm just gonna check the testosterone
levels on your phone first.
413
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,045
Grandpa, give me my phone now!
414
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:18,755
Just as I thought. Pretty low.
415
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,715
This is Meredith calling... Shit!
416
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,343
Now, look what you did,
you dropped it in the car's vagina.
417
00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:25,261
God damn it,
I have to put it on speaker.
418
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,847
- Don't say anything.
- I will not say a word.
419
00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:30,266
Ballbags!
420
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:32,894
Hey! Who was that?
421
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,687
No one.
We're in a restaurant. Sorry.
422
00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:35,772
"Who's that?"
423
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:39,150
- What's up?
- Okay... Well, I really want them
424
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:40,485
to post our wedding announcement
425
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:43,655
on the New York Times website
before our rehearsal brunch Friday,
426
00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:45,532
so I just wanted to run
your section back to you.
427
00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:47,659
Yeah, you know,
now's really not a good time...
428
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:50,495
Jason? Can we just do this please?
429
00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,914
"Can we do this now?"
430
00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:58,086
- "Jason Richard Kelly, son of..."
- Doctor Smegma Von BoxMunchers."
431
00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:03,132
"David and Brooke, is a junior associate
at the law firm of..."
432
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:06,928
- "Cream pie fart and donkey punch!"
- Okay, who is that?
433
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,473
It's no one. It's a waiter
with pretty bad Tourette's, I think...
434
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,644
He just keeps walking by yelling
weird shit, I don't know why...
435
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:17,313
Okay, well,
what restaurant are you at?
436
00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:19,649
- I can barely even hear you now.
- We're at Chuck E. Cheese's...
437
00:23:20,358 --> 00:23:22,735
Daytona fucking Beach!
438
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,738
Daytona fucking Beach!
You're right, buddy!
439
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:27,574
You're in Daytona Beach?
440
00:23:28,491 --> 00:23:30,702
Listen, we're just driving
through Daytona Beach.
441
00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:32,662
- We're en route to Grandpa's...
- Jason!
442
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,163
I don't know why you're there,
443
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:36,958
but you'd better call me
from your grandfather's house
444
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,460
- when you get there tonight, okay?
- Of course, baby.
445
00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:41,337
I love you so much...
446
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,423
- Fuck!
- Marriage is hard.
447
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:44,924
What'd the hot
college girls text back?
448
00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:47,010
Grandpa, what are you texting them?
449
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:48,303
- I just texted them.
- What are you texting them?
450
00:23:48,386 --> 00:23:50,179
"We'll meet you on the beach."
451
00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:53,766
Yeah, and I added the emoji
with the wink and the tongue out.
452
00:23:54,225 --> 00:23:55,852
I'm not kidding, Grandpa.
453
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,563
You realize that if I don't call her
from your house in Boca tonight,
454
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,189
I'm fucked, man, I'm fucked.
455
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:03,526
Jesus. Sounds like you're marrying
your fucking parole officer.
456
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:06,070
It's just Meredith.
It's the way she is, man.
457
00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:10,408
She just gets, like, anxious when
she doesn't know exactly where I am.
458
00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:12,702
Don't panic.
It's organic.
459
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,829
Yeah, I know. Couples get in
fights all the time.
460
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,332
But it's different with Meredith.
She takes it to another level, man,
461
00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,834
and I'm telling you, if I don't call her
from your house in Boca, I'm screwed.
462
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:22,128
Well, ain't nobody got time for that.
463
00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:24,589
Yeah, I know. Clearly.
464
00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:27,216
Which is why I don't understand
how we got so far off schedule.
465
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,719
Oh... Sometimes
life is just a fart zone,
466
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,512
and you enter at your own risk.
467
00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:36,267
Have you been reading shit off the shot
glasses and the shirts in here
468
00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:38,186
and just saying it like it's wisdom?
469
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:39,896
I was seriously trying
to talk to you, man.
470
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,481
Do you realize the stakes here?
471
00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:43,524
- You're ridiculous!
- Smile.
472
00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:46,235
You've had a phone
this entire fucking time?
473
00:24:46,319 --> 00:24:47,737
What else
don't I know about you?
474
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,906
How the hell do you know
how to speak Arabic?
475
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,699
Dad's never said
anything about that.
476
00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:53,910
That's because your dad
doesn't really know much about me.
477
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:56,037
I was away with the army
during most of his childhood.
478
00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,333
- So we were never that close.
- Is that why he doesn't like you?
479
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:05,630
Anybody work here?
480
00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:07,674
Okay, everybody on the fucking floor!
481
00:25:07,757 --> 00:25:12,679
This is a goddamn robbery!
On the fucking ground!
482
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,767
Oh, my God,
you should see your faces!
483
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:20,228
I just went out to grab lunch
and a new horse mask.
484
00:25:20,311 --> 00:25:23,106
I left mine at the beach
the other day. Whoo!
485
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:25,942
I thought you were gonna
shit your pants, little guy.
486
00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:29,696
- Gun's real though.
- What the fuck, man!
487
00:25:29,779 --> 00:25:32,115
Relax, this is Florida.
488
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:34,158
Everything's a licensed gun range.
489
00:25:34,242 --> 00:25:36,244
You just shot through a wall, man!
490
00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:37,787
- Hey...
- There's pedestrians outside!
491
00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:41,833
Yeah, again, it's Florida!
These people don't matter.
492
00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:45,461
- What?
- So? Welcome to Tam Pam Surf Slam.
493
00:25:45,545 --> 00:25:47,630
What can I do for you, gentlemen?
I'm Pam.
494
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,632
- You're Pam?
- Yeah. It's a nickname.
495
00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:51,342
Real name's Pamela.
496
00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:56,472
Hey, no, guys! Absolutely not!
497
00:25:56,556 --> 00:26:02,437
I will not ever sell you drugs
out of this establishment!
498
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,188
We didn't ask you
to sell us drugs.
499
00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:05,815
Okay, cool. You're not cops.
500
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:10,486
In which case, welcome to drugs!
501
00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:12,488
- Oh, my God.
- Now, I'm pretty cool,
502
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:14,615
so I only sell the stuff
that occurs naturally.
503
00:26:14,699 --> 00:26:17,160
So I got weed,
I got mushrooms, I got meth.
504
00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:18,619
- Meth?
- Yeah.
505
00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:19,662
How is that natural?
506
00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:21,998
Well, it occurs naturally
in my cousin's basement in Baltimore,
507
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,416
if you know what I mean.
508
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,043
I'm taking this, and this,
because you shot at me.
509
00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:27,670
Oh, I'm sorry, I almost shot you.
510
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,757
What are you going to do?
Cry all the way home, handsome?
511
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,467
I'm also giving you
zero stars on Yelp.
512
00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:33,843
What a dick.
513
00:27:02,872 --> 00:27:04,248
- Hey.
- Hey.
514
00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:05,541
Hi, professor.
515
00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,794
Well, there's the prettiest
little girl on the beach.
516
00:27:07,877 --> 00:27:10,213
- Thank you.
- I was actually talking to him.
517
00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:14,217
Yup! Immediately offensive.
I'm going back to the hotel.
518
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,886
Just try not to join the cast
of Rent on the way back!
519
00:27:18,054 --> 00:27:21,098
So we got the professor,
you got the millionaire.
520
00:27:21,182 --> 00:27:23,392
How's the rest
of the Gilligan's Island cast?
521
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:24,560
We're good.
522
00:27:24,644 --> 00:27:25,937
- Yeah?
- Yeah, everyone's good.
523
00:27:26,020 --> 00:27:27,688
- Well, that's good.
- Copacetic on the island.
524
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,066
How are those washed-out
pictures you're taking
525
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:31,609
because you still have
the lighting optimizer on?
526
00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,069
They're not... Where is that?
527
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:37,824
Actually, it's really hypersensitive
on the new 60D model.
528
00:27:37,907 --> 00:27:38,991
So you have to...
529
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:40,576
- Wait. What is that?
- Okay, nope.
530
00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:42,912
- What are you doing?
- Give it back, Malibu Ken.
531
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:44,121
- No...
- What?
532
00:27:44,205 --> 00:27:46,415
You did it. You turned
into one of those people.
533
00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:49,919
I turned into one of those people
that gives a shit about something?
534
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,379
Are you gonna chain
yourself to a polar bear?
535
00:27:51,462 --> 00:27:54,715
Only if you let me borrow...
What is this, a beach sweater?
536
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:57,593
- Yeah.
- What, did you just come from skiing?
537
00:27:57,677 --> 00:28:01,305
Yeah, I skied in,
just to see you save the world.
538
00:28:01,389 --> 00:28:05,184
- One Jell-O shot at a time.
- High-five!
539
00:28:05,268 --> 00:28:07,103
You want me to do your back?
540
00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:09,146
Only if you promise
to do my front first.
541
00:28:09,230 --> 00:28:10,773
Gladly.
542
00:28:10,857 --> 00:28:13,651
Oh. Whoops!
543
00:28:13,734 --> 00:28:15,611
That never usually happens.
544
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:17,530
Really? It happens to me all the time.
545
00:28:17,613 --> 00:28:20,157
Well, guess who
just took a shit in the water?
546
00:28:20,241 --> 00:28:22,076
We've been looking
for you bitches all day.
547
00:28:22,159 --> 00:28:25,538
- Where the fuck have you been?
- Our car broke down in Orlando.
548
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,123
Do you ever
look at your cell phone?
549
00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:29,750
Awesome.
Who are these cunt punches?
550
00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:32,795
These are our friends
that we met on the way down.
551
00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:35,673
- Yeah.
- That's Cody and Brah.
552
00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:37,800
They're on the
lacrosse team at Florida.
553
00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:40,386
- This guy plays lacrosse?
- All-conference, brah!
554
00:28:40,469 --> 00:28:42,555
Yeah? Which one, the fucking
Diabetes Conference?
555
00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,767
All right, we're about to boat
race a bunch of those fucks
556
00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:49,312
from the University of Georgia
up in the room. So...
557
00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:51,230
Oh, my God! University of Georgia!
558
00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:53,816
- No way! You're a Hornet?
- Afraid so.
559
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:58,654
Well, you guys should get in there then,
Edward Jizzumhands.
560
00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:00,615
Well, thank you. We will.
561
00:29:00,698 --> 00:29:03,659
Good, that's great.
I'll see you up there.
562
00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:07,079
Oh, good. Well, you say
we'll be there and on time.
563
00:29:07,163 --> 00:29:09,790
- Sweet. I will.
- Yeah. Yeah, let's do that.
564
00:29:09,874 --> 00:29:11,167
- No, we should.
- Let's do it now.
565
00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:12,960
- Yeah, I'll see you up there.
- What...
566
00:29:13,044 --> 00:29:17,590
Come to the hotel. By the pool.
Georgia sucks!
567
00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:21,218
Can we please just go?
They've got boyfriends.
568
00:29:21,302 --> 00:29:23,512
Those meatdick fucks?
They're not their boyfriends.
569
00:29:23,596 --> 00:29:25,222
They're just seniors,
570
00:29:25,306 --> 00:29:27,308
and they're all just terrified
and speed-fucking each other
571
00:29:27,391 --> 00:29:29,602
before the ship goes down.
Didn't you ever go on Spring Break?
572
00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:32,897
No, I didn't go to Spring Break,
'cause I was studying for law school.
573
00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:35,483
Besides, I can't chug alcohol anymore
like I used to, Grandpa.
574
00:29:35,566 --> 00:29:37,568
I've developed, like, a gag reflex.
575
00:29:37,652 --> 00:29:39,195
- A gag reflex?
- Yeah.
576
00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:41,948
You're chugging a beer,
not taking down a horse cock, Jason.
577
00:29:42,031 --> 00:29:43,616
Come on.
578
00:29:53,626 --> 00:29:56,462
- Go Hornets!
- Go Hornets, yeah...
579
00:29:56,545 --> 00:29:58,547
Hey, you know, one in three
of these girls has herpes.
580
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:00,132
Even if you can't see it.
581
00:30:00,216 --> 00:30:01,884
Oh, Jesus.
Nut the fuck up.
582
00:30:01,968 --> 00:30:04,387
It's just a college party, you nance.
Chill!
583
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:06,472
Hey, here they are.
584
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:09,642
I'm gonna get some beers.
What about you, twinkle toes?
585
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:12,478
You want some of dat drank?
Some of dat purple drank?
586
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:17,024
Some of dat purple-ass muthafuckin'
pimp-dick drank?
587
00:30:17,108 --> 00:30:20,695
Who the fuck are you?
588
00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:26,117
It's a pretty rockin' party.
589
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,994
Whoo.
590
00:30:28,077 --> 00:30:31,622
Who let the dogs out?
Am I right?
591
00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:48,431
Sir, before we start, would you prefer
if we gave you a spritzer to chug?
592
00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,474
- Ah...
- Maybe a Pinot Noir?
593
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:58,607
You're going down, old man.
Nobody chugs like me.
594
00:30:58,691 --> 00:31:01,819
I bet. You've been chugging
Brah's cum for years.
595
00:31:04,488 --> 00:31:06,115
Let's go.
596
00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:11,620
Chug!
597
00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:14,498
Chug! Chug!
598
00:31:14,582 --> 00:31:16,292
Chug!
599
00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:21,881
Go! Go! Chug!
600
00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,439
It's actually kind of fun.
601
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:30,449
Yeah, I'm not really,
you know, for sure...
602
00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:32,284
...per say...
603
00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:34,203
...what we're doing
after graduation.
604
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,372
I mean,
605
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:38,541
- we have offers to play...
- Blah, blah, blah...
606
00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:40,209
...professional lacrosse in Europe,
607
00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:42,711
- but a bunch of agents
- Words, words, words...
608
00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:44,547
also want us to start modeling,
so...
609
00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:47,299
And again, we're talking about
this fat fuck right here?
610
00:32:47,383 --> 00:32:51,804
You guys... Uh, you have
to come see this right now.
611
00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:11,532
All right, our team won!
612
00:33:11,615 --> 00:33:15,452
Let's celebrate by buying local drugs
613
00:33:15,536 --> 00:33:19,165
from a reputable, local drug dealer.
614
00:33:19,248 --> 00:33:21,959
Hey, what are you doing here?
615
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:23,460
I'm selling drugs, man.
616
00:33:23,544 --> 00:33:25,254
I'm trying to put my kid
through preschool.
617
00:33:26,172 --> 00:33:27,965
How honest is that!
618
00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:31,385
Touching my face a lot, bro.
Touching my face a whole lot, man.
619
00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:33,512
Why don't you take some of this.
This'll mellow you out.
620
00:33:33,596 --> 00:33:35,681
- What is it?
- E-cig, bro.
621
00:33:35,764 --> 00:33:38,100
"E" is for "Weed"!
622
00:33:38,184 --> 00:33:39,852
Sure, why not?
623
00:33:41,854 --> 00:33:46,734
Yeah, ooh, that's a big...
That's a big one.
624
00:33:51,822 --> 00:33:54,909
Just be glad you didn't smoke this, man.
This is crack!
625
00:33:54,992 --> 00:33:56,744
- What?
- Oh, yeah!
626
00:33:56,827 --> 00:33:59,788
This one... Oh, wait a minute...
627
00:33:59,872 --> 00:34:03,667
Maybe that one's crack
and this one's weed.
628
00:34:03,751 --> 00:34:06,378
Hang on. What'd you do now, Pam?
629
00:34:06,462 --> 00:34:09,381
Fuck. Hold on.
Which one's crack?
630
00:34:09,465 --> 00:34:13,719
Okay. I got this.
Don't freak out.
631
00:34:13,802 --> 00:34:16,138
Sorry to worry you, man.
You're not gonna believe this.
632
00:34:16,222 --> 00:34:19,308
- They're both crack.
- What?
633
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:23,395
And you have taken an amount that will
probably kill you in about 30 minutes.
634
00:34:23,479 --> 00:34:27,149
- I just smoked crack?
- Yeah. But just, like, a lot.
635
00:34:27,233 --> 00:34:29,485
I just smoked crack.
636
00:34:32,488 --> 00:34:34,406
I just smoked crack!
637
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:40,537
USA! USA!
638
00:34:40,621 --> 00:34:43,290
USA! USA!
639
00:34:43,374 --> 00:34:44,875
Told you.
640
00:34:48,671 --> 00:34:50,547
He's fine.
He's just a little drunk.
641
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:58,013
Everybody loves crack!
642
00:34:58,097 --> 00:35:01,350
Bee loves crack.
Bee loves some crack.
643
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,602
We should probably go help him.
644
00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:10,276
Sting? You're stung!
645
00:35:11,902 --> 00:35:14,154
Oh, shit, I just found my queen.
646
00:35:14,238 --> 00:35:15,531
All right.
647
00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:18,325
Okay, let's help him.
648
00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:22,871
Excuse me. Jason!
649
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:27,835
- Hey, Jason.
- Jason.
650
00:35:30,004 --> 00:35:31,672
- Jason.
- Jason.
651
00:35:40,139 --> 00:35:42,016
I'm gonna live forever!
652
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,649
Party on!
653
00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:06,373
Oh, shit!
654
00:36:08,417 --> 00:36:10,627
One, two, three...
655
00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:13,339
- Hello?
- Where the fuck have you been?
656
00:36:15,007 --> 00:36:17,509
We got to Grandpa's a little bit
later than we thought last night,
657
00:36:17,593 --> 00:36:20,721
and my phone charger wasn't working.
658
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,056
Well, you know we missed the deadline
659
00:36:22,139 --> 00:36:24,141
for our wedding announcement
to be in the Times.
660
00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:26,352
Where are you? Are you close?
661
00:36:27,936 --> 00:36:30,814
Listen, Grandpa got
really upset last night.
662
00:36:30,898 --> 00:36:35,402
So I'm just getting
a little bit of a late jump here.
663
00:36:35,486 --> 00:36:37,237
I want to show you
the bouquets for the bridesmaids.
664
00:36:37,321 --> 00:36:38,489
So switch to FaceTime, okay?
665
00:36:38,572 --> 00:36:41,950
Shit! Baby, the reception
at Grandpa's isn't very good...
666
00:36:42,034 --> 00:36:45,371
- Jason, just fucking do it!
- Okay, one second. Switching over.
667
00:36:45,454 --> 00:36:48,290
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
668
00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,334
Is that sand on your face?
669
00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:53,337
It's just sawdust because I was
helping Grandpa in the garage, so...
670
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:56,340
I naturally got the dust
of the saw on the face.
671
00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:58,801
- Hi, honey.
- Jason.
672
00:36:58,884 --> 00:37:03,680
- Mom? Dad?
- Is that writing on your face?
673
00:37:03,764 --> 00:37:07,726
Oh! I was working on my vows
late last night and...
674
00:37:09,395 --> 00:37:13,273
And I fell asleep and I got
some pen on my face, so...
675
00:37:13,357 --> 00:37:15,651
Yeah, that must be
the exact thing that happened.
676
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:18,654
Yeah, Meredith called us because
she hadn't heard from you all night.
677
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,906
We got the rabbi here
to work on the vows.
678
00:37:22,074 --> 00:37:26,286
- Boker tov, Jason.
- Hey. Shalom.
679
00:37:26,370 --> 00:37:29,331
No, Jason, really...
What is on your forehead?
680
00:37:29,415 --> 00:37:33,377
It's a swastika of penises.
681
00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:34,837
No, that's not what it is.
682
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,465
Acting as a pinwheel
of ejaculate...
683
00:37:38,549 --> 00:37:41,135
No, no, no,
it's a FaceTime effect.
684
00:37:41,218 --> 00:37:42,803
All the kids are using
them these days.
685
00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:44,513
There's a Hanukkah one. See?
686
00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:49,476
I don't like that one as much
as the swastika full of dicks.
687
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,855
Okay, as we discuss
the wedding vows,
688
00:37:52,938 --> 00:37:56,024
Jason, why don't you
begin by telling us all
689
00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:58,527
what it is you like
about Meredith.
690
00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:01,864
Yeah, where do I start? She's...
691
00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:03,282
Hello.
692
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:08,871
- Hello, buzzy bee.
- What?
693
00:38:08,954 --> 00:38:11,498
If you can't think of anything,
lean into them looks, dawg.
694
00:38:11,582 --> 00:38:13,500
Can I touch buzzy bee?
695
00:38:13,584 --> 00:38:15,127
I've loved her for...
No, you can't touch buzzy bee!
696
00:38:16,378 --> 00:38:19,089
I love the way that she...
697
00:38:19,339 --> 00:38:22,926
What are you doing? Stop it!
Go away!
698
00:38:23,010 --> 00:38:25,137
You're getting me in...
Fuck, go away!
699
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,847
- Your buzzy bee looks so fluffy!
- What did he say?
700
00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:30,142
- I just don't know where to start.
- Let me touch buzzy bee!
701
00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:31,810
- You can't have the bee!
- What?
702
00:38:31,894 --> 00:38:33,437
I want to stroke the bee!
703
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,771
You can't
stroke the bee! Okay?
704
00:38:34,855 --> 00:38:38,192
- I want to kiss buzzy bee!
- You can't kiss the bee!
705
00:38:38,275 --> 00:38:39,818
I love the way that she kisses.
706
00:38:39,902 --> 00:38:41,987
- Kid!
- Hey!
707
00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:43,614
- Oh, my God...
- Hey!
708
00:38:43,697 --> 00:38:44,698
- Fucking pervert!
- Oh, no.
709
00:38:44,781 --> 00:38:47,284
I got to go right now.
I'm sorry. I love you. Bye!
710
00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:49,286
No, no, no! Jason! Jason!
711
00:38:49,369 --> 00:38:51,747
Come on. I told you to stay with us.
712
00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:55,876
- He let me stroke it.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
713
00:38:55,959 --> 00:38:57,753
Hold on! He's talking
about a pee... A bee.
714
00:38:57,836 --> 00:39:00,964
- A little stuffed bee.
- What bee?
715
00:39:01,048 --> 00:39:02,341
There was a bee here, man!
716
00:39:02,424 --> 00:39:04,968
It was so soft.
He let me kiss it.
717
00:39:05,052 --> 00:39:07,262
No, I did not let you kiss it!
What are you talking about?
718
00:39:07,346 --> 00:39:09,223
- He did not even... Ahh!
- You're fucking dead!
719
00:39:09,306 --> 00:39:11,183
Dad, that was cool!
720
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,895
Oh, shit!
721
00:39:30,369 --> 00:39:34,998
Please, for the love of God,
may I have some pants? Please.
722
00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:38,544
Oh, Jesus
I'm so sorry. Of course.
723
00:39:38,627 --> 00:39:41,838
Yeah, definitely. Let me hurry
on over there.
724
00:39:41,964 --> 00:39:44,466
You like khakis or sweatpants?
725
00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:47,594
I mean anything's fine.
You know what? Khakis.
726
00:39:47,678 --> 00:39:49,346
- Khakis?
- Yes please, thank you.
727
00:39:49,429 --> 00:39:51,974
Also I'm gonna step out
and get some lunch.
728
00:39:52,057 --> 00:39:52,891
Do you want a sandwich?
729
00:39:52,975 --> 00:39:54,643
Yeah, sure. That would be awesome.
730
00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:57,062
- Yeah. Ham? Turkey?
- I would love turkey.
731
00:39:57,145 --> 00:39:59,690
That's so funny,
because I'm a turkey man myself.
732
00:39:59,898 --> 00:40:04,820
- Thank you so much.
- Turkey, okay... alright.
733
00:40:04,903 --> 00:40:06,488
Also, uh, finally,
734
00:40:06,572 --> 00:40:09,992
do you wanna be ass-raped by the man
with the mental age of seven
735
00:40:10,075 --> 00:40:11,994
or do you wanna be stripped naked,
736
00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:16,248
and used as a human diaper
by the same man?
737
00:40:16,623 --> 00:40:20,127
Let me know what time works for
you, 'cause you're in fucking jail.
738
00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:22,045
Sit down.
739
00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:33,724
All right. Gary,
I'm all done. It's late.
740
00:40:33,807 --> 00:40:37,227
- I gotta go open the store, buddy.
- I don't know man, you tried to sell peyote
741
00:40:37,311 --> 00:40:40,314
- to middle schoolers.
- Huh, well...
742
00:40:40,439 --> 00:40:43,358
I don't know if I'm gonna be able
to get you that human growth hormone
743
00:40:43,442 --> 00:40:47,571
you asked me about. So that you
can get jacked, you said. Remember?
744
00:40:47,654 --> 00:40:49,239
You're already looking good.
745
00:40:49,323 --> 00:40:50,741
All right,
let's get you out of there.
746
00:40:50,824 --> 00:40:53,660
- Why are you letting him out?
- Gary! Gary! Gary!
747
00:40:53,744 --> 00:40:55,495
He's the one that sold me crack.
748
00:40:55,579 --> 00:40:56,997
Hey man that's how
you're gonna do me right now?
749
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,625
- Snitches get stitches! Zip it!
- Yeah.
750
00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:02,294
- Yeah, snitches do get stitches.
- Thought we were friends?
751
00:41:02,377 --> 00:41:04,379
Messing with by best friend, Pam.
752
00:41:04,463 --> 00:41:06,089
- I'll see you later, Gary.
- See ya buddy.
753
00:41:06,173 --> 00:41:08,634
If you could get me that money
you owe me too that'd be great.
754
00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:11,053
- Finchy!
- What's up?
755
00:41:11,136 --> 00:41:12,387
- Here's the deal.
- Yeah?
756
00:41:12,471 --> 00:41:14,097
- I'm about to skedaddle.
- Yeah, yeah.
757
00:41:14,181 --> 00:41:16,725
I came in here with some drugs,
in a bag.
758
00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:19,936
It would be great if I could leave with
those drugs in the bag.
759
00:41:20,020 --> 00:41:22,105
You know what?
I want what's great for you.
760
00:41:22,189 --> 00:41:25,192
- Thank you.
- There they are!
761
00:41:25,359 --> 00:41:27,736
- There you go.
- Look at the arm on that guy.
762
00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:30,238
- I know.
- He's really getting big.
763
00:41:30,322 --> 00:41:32,491
- He's really working on it.
- I really need that HGH.
764
00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:34,910
Alright, I'll talk to you guys later.
Bye.
765
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:38,580
Man... one of
the good ones, right?
766
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:40,374
Okay, listen...
767
00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:44,044
Guys, I'm incredibly sorry
for all this confusion,
768
00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:47,839
but listen to me, please. I have to
let you know I'm a lawyer.
769
00:41:47,923 --> 00:41:50,967
Alright, I know my rights. I know
that I should have a phone call.
770
00:41:51,051 --> 00:41:54,012
Wow, hell, is this your phone
right here?
771
00:41:54,096 --> 00:41:55,972
- Yeah that's my phone.
- That's your phone right there.
772
00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:58,809
- Just gonna take a little picture.
- Snatch-chat.
773
00:41:58,892 --> 00:42:00,769
- Yeah, a little Snatch-chat.
- Please don't do that with my phone.
774
00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:02,145
Hope you got a wide-angle lens on that.
775
00:42:02,229 --> 00:42:05,023
- Oh! Wow.
776
00:42:05,107 --> 00:42:07,317
Kidding.
777
00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:12,989
Somebody just posted his bail.
Get that pervert some pants.
778
00:42:13,073 --> 00:42:14,741
All right.
779
00:42:14,825 --> 00:42:16,535
These were
a couple pair of pants
780
00:42:16,618 --> 00:42:20,997
from murder victims
from a 1990s orgy gone bad.
781
00:42:21,081 --> 00:42:24,793
We got semen-stained
or blood-stained.
782
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:27,462
Take your pick.
What's it gonna be?
783
00:42:28,588 --> 00:42:30,841
- Blood.
- Semen it is.
784
00:42:33,218 --> 00:42:36,054
- Hey, there he is.
- No.
785
00:42:36,138 --> 00:42:37,764
Don't even fucking talk to me.
786
00:42:37,848 --> 00:42:42,519
I know things got a little chaotic,
but I'm so close with Lenore...
787
00:42:42,602 --> 00:42:44,312
What the fuck is wrong with you?
788
00:42:44,396 --> 00:42:46,648
I'm about to get fucking
married, Grandpa!
789
00:42:46,732 --> 00:42:50,610
In one week! To a Jewish girl!
And I just woke up in fucking jail
790
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:56,241
with a bunch of penises on my forehead
in the shape of a swastika!
791
00:42:56,324 --> 00:42:58,827
Could call it a swasticock.
792
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,913
- What?
- It's a play on words.
793
00:43:01,997 --> 00:43:03,540
Oh, it's a play on words.
794
00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:06,668
A play on words.
795
00:43:07,961 --> 00:43:09,379
Play on these words.
796
00:43:09,463 --> 00:43:13,216
I'm dropping you off
at your old army vet buddy's house,
797
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,135
he's gonna drive you to fucking Boca.
798
00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:17,304
Because I'm fucking
done with you.
799
00:43:20,724 --> 00:43:24,019
- What the fuck are you looking at?
- I can't help staring at your tits.
800
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,814
- Pow!
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
801
00:43:32,611 --> 00:43:34,780
You know, Stinky
had more confirmed kills
802
00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:38,825
than anyone in our platoon
back in 'Nam? 118.
803
00:43:38,909 --> 00:43:39,951
Shut the fuck up.
804
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:45,373
- What is this place?
- I don't know. Or care.
805
00:43:45,457 --> 00:43:46,708
At least just come in with me.
806
00:43:46,792 --> 00:43:48,627
Let's make sure
it's the right house.
807
00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:50,545
After you.
808
00:43:50,629 --> 00:43:52,714
Grandson of the year.
809
00:43:52,798 --> 00:43:55,634
Your grandmother's
ashes are in there.
810
00:43:58,136 --> 00:44:00,055
She's in a coffin. Fuck you!
811
00:44:02,474 --> 00:44:05,519
Oh, well,
better late than never.
812
00:44:05,602 --> 00:44:08,021
Yeah! Fuck them up, ALF!
813
00:44:08,104 --> 00:44:09,815
Motherfucker!
814
00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:11,942
Stinky?
815
00:44:12,025 --> 00:44:14,903
What the fuck
are you doing here, Dick?
816
00:44:15,946 --> 00:44:17,906
Oh, this?
817
00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:20,534
This is liver failure.
818
00:44:23,328 --> 00:44:26,498
- Who's the lesbian?
- That's my grandson, Jason.
819
00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:30,585
Yeah? Is he here to scissor with me?
820
00:44:30,669 --> 00:44:32,379
Okay, that's just
offensive to lesbians.
821
00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:35,882
I am very sorry, K.D. Lang.
822
00:44:35,966 --> 00:44:37,843
Time for Bingo!
823
00:44:37,926 --> 00:44:40,387
Come on. Stinky, we got to get
you the fuck out of here.
824
00:44:40,470 --> 00:44:44,099
- Come on, let's go.
- I have one fucking month left, Dick!
825
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:47,102
I don't want you
to remember me like this, man.
826
00:44:47,185 --> 00:44:49,855
I want you
to remember me as a warrior.
827
00:44:49,938 --> 00:44:52,858
- Please. Leave me be.
- But, Stinky...
828
00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:55,026
No, no, no...
Just let me finish, Dick.
829
00:44:55,110 --> 00:45:00,866
Leave me your beautiful lesbian grandson
so he can blowjob me to death.
830
00:45:04,494 --> 00:45:07,289
It's all over for me, Dick.
831
00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:12,210
You know, all I wanna do is play Bingo.
832
00:45:12,294 --> 00:45:13,795
Go.
833
00:45:15,672 --> 00:45:17,173
All ready?
834
00:45:20,427 --> 00:45:21,845
Bingo!
835
00:45:28,977 --> 00:45:32,314
I'm sorry about
your friend, Grandpa.
836
00:45:32,397 --> 00:45:34,274
So it comes to this.
837
00:45:35,609 --> 00:45:38,987
Even before you die,
you just stop living,
838
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:42,198
and it's all one fucked-up
facsimile of the real thing.
839
00:45:48,038 --> 00:45:49,664
We have to go back.
840
00:45:50,624 --> 00:45:52,250
Yeah. I know.
841
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:57,088
- I'll drive us home.
- Not Atlanta. Daytona.
842
00:45:59,007 --> 00:46:00,967
- What?
- I have to fuck that girl, Jason.
843
00:46:01,051 --> 00:46:03,678
- Jesus, Grandpa!
- I do. I have to fuck her.
844
00:46:03,762 --> 00:46:06,514
Grandpa, you're just depressed.
845
00:46:06,598 --> 00:46:08,642
You're confused right now
because of Grandma.
846
00:46:08,725 --> 00:46:10,852
Grandma wanted me to do this.
847
00:46:10,936 --> 00:46:13,104
- What?
- Yeah. She said when she died,
848
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:16,066
she wanted me to move on
and live my life the way I wanted to,
849
00:46:16,149 --> 00:46:17,609
and right now,
you know what I want to do?
850
00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:19,903
I want to get my dick sucked
by that fucking college girl!
851
00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:21,988
What is that going to do for you?
852
00:46:22,072 --> 00:46:23,698
Is that going to make
you feel young again?
853
00:46:23,782 --> 00:46:26,534
- Yeah! Yeah, what's wrong with that?
- Yeah?
854
00:46:26,618 --> 00:46:29,037
Feeling young again?
What do I have?
855
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,914
A dead wife, dying friends.
856
00:46:30,997 --> 00:46:33,166
A few fucking good
years left if I'm lucky.
857
00:46:33,249 --> 00:46:37,003
And you know what?
It fucking freaks me out!
858
00:46:37,087 --> 00:46:38,630
Yeah.
859
00:46:40,256 --> 00:46:43,551
Look, I don't expect
you to understand. You're young.
860
00:46:43,635 --> 00:46:46,888
You have a long, long time before
you have to look into that abyss.
861
00:46:46,972 --> 00:46:51,059
But the way I see it, having sex
with that girl is my last stand.
862
00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:53,478
And I can't do it without you.
863
00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:59,901
So I'm asking you. Please, Jason, just
stay one more day so I can do this.
864
00:46:59,985 --> 00:47:02,153
Please.
865
00:47:06,908 --> 00:47:10,954
Okay, Daytona Beach!
Who's ready for a Flex Off!
866
00:47:11,037 --> 00:47:15,875
I'm talking about dudes
getting on stage, getting ripped!
867
00:47:15,959 --> 00:47:18,294
Yeah!
868
00:47:18,378 --> 00:47:20,422
Yes, I'll be home tomorrow. I promise.
869
00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:22,424
And I know... Yes,
870
00:47:22,507 --> 00:47:24,384
I know the dinner
is important to the firm...
871
00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:28,179
Hold on, I'm getting another call.
It might be Meredith. Okay? Bye.
872
00:47:28,263 --> 00:47:29,806
- Hello?
- Hey, it's me.
873
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,599
Someone just stuck
their thumb up my ass.
874
00:47:31,683 --> 00:47:33,351
What?
875
00:47:33,435 --> 00:47:35,895
Yeah, I was just standing right there,
talking on the phone,
876
00:47:35,979 --> 00:47:38,940
and someone came right up behind me
and stuck their thumb up my ass.
877
00:47:39,024 --> 00:47:40,859
Did you see who it was...
878
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:43,194
Ow! Fuck! Stop doing that!
879
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,488
- How'd it go on the home front?
- How do you think?
880
00:47:45,572 --> 00:47:47,699
Come on. Let's go.
881
00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:50,076
Come on.
882
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,996
Top Gun in the house!
883
00:47:53,079 --> 00:47:57,083
We got Maverick!
We got Fat Goose!
884
00:47:57,167 --> 00:48:00,086
Do we have a challenger?
885
00:48:00,170 --> 00:48:03,089
- Right here! Right here!
- These two! She wants to!
886
00:48:03,173 --> 00:48:04,716
- These two.
- Pick her!
887
00:48:04,799 --> 00:48:06,718
Who will accept this challenge?
888
00:48:06,801 --> 00:48:09,596
You go up there, I'll let you do
whatever you want to me tonight.
889
00:48:09,679 --> 00:48:11,723
- All right, I'm doing it.
- All right!
890
00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:13,308
What?
891
00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:15,643
- No, no, no!
- Are you kidding me?
892
00:48:15,727 --> 00:48:18,063
I saw your body last night,
it's a lot better than Cody's.
893
00:48:18,146 --> 00:48:21,441
And my body sure as shit looks better
than that fucking Shamu's up there.
894
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:22,817
There's 1,000 people out here!
895
00:48:22,901 --> 00:48:25,320
A lost old man
has wandered on stage.
896
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:28,573
- Are you his nurse?
- No. Fuck no.
897
00:48:28,656 --> 00:48:31,576
Get on stage! Get on stage!
898
00:48:31,659 --> 00:48:34,829
Get on stage! Get on stage!
899
00:48:34,913 --> 00:48:38,333
- Get on stage! Get on stage!
- Do it for me?
900
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:42,587
Get on stage!
Get on stage!
901
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:45,715
So we have team Top Gun
902
00:48:45,799 --> 00:48:49,969
versus creepy old guy
and his lesbian daughter.
903
00:48:51,596 --> 00:48:55,850
Okay, Daytona Beach,
are you ready to Flex Off?
904
00:48:55,934 --> 00:49:00,855
Three! Two! One! Flex!
905
00:49:00,939 --> 00:49:03,066
Having trouble getting that
coat off, Fat Goose?
906
00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:07,821
Look at this guy!
907
00:49:07,904 --> 00:49:10,031
He's like
Mother Teresa's vagina!
908
00:49:10,115 --> 00:49:12,534
Old and tight!
909
00:49:12,617 --> 00:49:15,703
Hey, look,
it's Cirque du So Gay!
910
00:49:17,122 --> 00:49:18,873
What now?
911
00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:23,378
Uh-oh!
Has the old man fallen?
912
00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:24,879
Or is it...
913
00:49:24,963 --> 00:49:27,382
One-armed
motherfucking push-ups!
914
00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,050
Holy shit!
915
00:49:29,134 --> 00:49:31,302
Lesbian daughter's
getting in on the action!
916
00:49:31,386 --> 00:49:33,763
I happen to know
he smoked crack last night!
917
00:49:33,847 --> 00:49:37,016
These push-ups are fueled
by the devil's candy!
918
00:49:37,809 --> 00:49:39,435
Unbelievable!
919
00:49:40,770 --> 00:49:43,022
Your move, Dolly Parton.
920
00:49:43,106 --> 00:49:46,401
What are you gonna
do now, team Top Gun?
921
00:49:48,319 --> 00:49:49,571
And, hey, everybody,
don't forget to stop
922
00:49:49,654 --> 00:49:54,159
by Tam Pam Surf Slam in town
where I'm selling "beach towels"
923
00:49:54,242 --> 00:49:55,785
for 50 bucks an ounce.
924
00:49:55,869 --> 00:49:59,664
"Sun screen" for 10 bucks a dime bag.
925
00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:02,292
And I'm also selling meth!
926
00:50:04,252 --> 00:50:05,670
Just got married!
927
00:50:05,753 --> 00:50:08,339
Your move, Viagra Falls.
928
00:50:08,423 --> 00:50:11,718
Crowd going wild
for team Top Gun!
929
00:50:11,801 --> 00:50:15,096
Grandpa, I got this. Watch!
930
00:50:15,180 --> 00:50:18,892
Most muscular, on three.
One, two, three.
931
00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:24,606
Oh! I think this guy just sharted!
932
00:50:24,689 --> 00:50:26,065
- No, I didn't!
- Yes!
933
00:50:26,149 --> 00:50:29,319
Call a lifeguard, I think
there's been a shart attack!
934
00:50:39,537 --> 00:50:41,206
I'm not even
holding the mic right now.
935
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:48,004
- You suck!
- I have an idea.
936
00:50:48,087 --> 00:50:50,173
Do you remember that thing
we used to do when I was a kid?
937
00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:52,050
Yeah.
938
00:50:54,302 --> 00:50:56,137
One, two, three...
939
00:50:56,221 --> 00:50:58,514
Hold on, what's this?
940
00:50:58,598 --> 00:51:03,186
What is going on?
Oh, my God, what am I seeing?
941
00:51:05,146 --> 00:51:07,482
Am I on drugs? Of course I am!
942
00:51:08,566 --> 00:51:10,151
This is too incredible!
943
00:51:10,235 --> 00:51:12,904
Flex Off history is being made!
944
00:51:12,987 --> 00:51:16,658
- What's up now, Brah?
- Yeah, what's up now, Brah?
945
00:51:16,741 --> 00:51:19,160
Yeah, what's up now, Brah?
946
00:51:19,244 --> 00:51:20,578
'Sup now, Brah?
947
00:51:20,662 --> 00:51:23,498
'Sup now, Brah?
'Sup now, Brah?
948
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:26,668
This is incredible!
Take out your cameras!
949
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:30,004
Put this online!
This shit is going viral!
950
00:51:30,088 --> 00:51:32,382
Shit. Let me down.
951
00:51:32,465 --> 00:51:34,550
Did everybody get a picture of that?
952
00:51:34,634 --> 00:51:36,511
What the fuck are you doing?
953
00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:38,471
- I can't do this...
- What?
954
00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:39,806
- God...
- The winners
955
00:51:39,889 --> 00:51:43,351
of the Alpha Delta Flex Off...
Wait a minute! Where are you going?
956
00:51:43,434 --> 00:51:45,228
- Guys?
- Where are you going?
957
00:51:45,311 --> 00:51:46,354
Jason!
958
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:47,397
You can't just
leave me here like this.
959
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:48,690
Why'd you stop?
We were winning!
960
00:51:48,773 --> 00:51:49,899
Because I'm a lawyer!
961
00:51:49,983 --> 00:51:52,235
I can't have people taking pictures
of me doing stuff like this.
962
00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:54,237
Can you imagine if the firm
saw something like that?
963
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,283
By default, the winner
of the Flex Off is...
964
00:51:58,366 --> 00:52:00,702
- Bring the cup home, baby!
- ...these two dildos.
965
00:52:03,204 --> 00:52:05,540
Every single day,
my career's in jeopardy...
966
00:52:05,623 --> 00:52:07,917
- What are you doing?
- I'm taking the regulator off
967
00:52:08,001 --> 00:52:10,336
the pneumatic propulsion system.
968
00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:11,879
Give me a beer.
969
00:52:11,963 --> 00:52:14,632
Grandpa, what did you
really do for the army?
970
00:52:14,716 --> 00:52:17,468
- I told you, I was a mechanic.
- Bullshit.
971
00:52:17,552 --> 00:52:21,556
You speak Arabic.
You hot-wired a golf cart.
972
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:23,391
Tell me the truth.
973
00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:26,227
All right, I was Special Forces.
974
00:52:26,311 --> 00:52:29,022
I trained insurgents behind
enemy lines from Vietnam to Iraq.
975
00:52:29,105 --> 00:52:30,857
Now give me the fucking beer can!
Come on!
976
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:34,068
Look at this dummy!
977
00:52:34,152 --> 00:52:35,862
What an idiot!
978
00:52:40,700 --> 00:52:44,078
Yeah! Do it again!
979
00:52:44,162 --> 00:52:46,497
We can change in Cody's room.
I picked his pocket earlier.
980
00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,249
Nothing to see here, guys.
981
00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:50,501
Cops are gonna
come pretty quick.
982
00:52:52,462 --> 00:52:55,089
No, no, this is his father,
so that's what I'm saying.
983
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:56,591
Keep him heavily sedated,
984
00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:59,093
but don't be afraid to pull
the plug if you have to.
985
00:52:59,177 --> 00:53:00,928
Thank you, doctor.
986
00:53:02,305 --> 00:53:04,932
Okay. They're in the
hospital till tomorrow!
987
00:53:05,016 --> 00:53:07,977
The room's ours for the night.
988
00:53:08,061 --> 00:53:10,480
Look at these fucking people.
989
00:53:10,563 --> 00:53:12,857
How was brunch
at Hitler's house that day?
990
00:53:12,940 --> 00:53:15,360
Hey, Grandpa,
who else in our family knows
991
00:53:15,443 --> 00:53:18,071
that you were, uh,
Special Forces or whatever?
992
00:53:18,154 --> 00:53:20,656
No one, once your
grandmother passed.
993
00:53:20,740 --> 00:53:23,868
Your father stopped talking to me
before my missions were declassified.
994
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:27,622
So he always thought
I was just an army mechanic.
995
00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:29,624
But don't you think that you guys
would get along a little better
996
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:32,585
if you told him?
997
00:53:34,670 --> 00:53:37,382
Hey, come on. Let's see
how you look. Come on out.
998
00:53:42,387 --> 00:53:46,224
First of all, nobody wears
a fucking white belt.
999
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:48,851
The only people who wear white belts
are people who suck at karate
1000
00:53:48,935 --> 00:53:52,146
and people who suck at life.
Take the fucking belt off.
1001
00:53:52,230 --> 00:53:54,982
And you better lose that
fucking white polo shirt
1002
00:53:55,066 --> 00:53:56,901
and those pleated khaki pants.
1003
00:53:56,984 --> 00:53:58,820
You're meeting up with girls,
not blowing an oil executive
1004
00:53:58,903 --> 00:54:01,989
on a fucking golf course.
Put these on.
1005
00:54:04,075 --> 00:54:07,412
Well, in case you forgot, I don't
even have underwear, from last night.
1006
00:54:07,495 --> 00:54:09,580
All right, just put them on.
I'll turn around.
1007
00:54:11,999 --> 00:54:14,335
- Nice dick.
- Jeez, Grandpa.
1008
00:54:14,419 --> 00:54:16,546
That's a good dick.
You got your grandpa's dick.
1009
00:54:16,629 --> 00:54:19,257
Not the girth,
not the length, but same style.
1010
00:54:21,008 --> 00:54:22,176
That's good to know.
1011
00:54:22,260 --> 00:54:25,263
You're lucky you're not your dad.
He's got his mom's dick.
1012
00:54:25,346 --> 00:54:27,265
What the fuck?
1013
00:54:27,557 --> 00:54:29,100
Now put your pants on.
1014
00:54:44,282 --> 00:54:47,201
- Shit. It's Meredith.
- Don't answer it.
1015
00:54:47,285 --> 00:54:49,078
My rehearsal brunch
is this weekend.
1016
00:54:49,162 --> 00:54:50,246
No calls.
1017
00:54:50,329 --> 00:54:53,624
For one night, stop worrying about
your wedding. Please.
1018
00:54:53,708 --> 00:54:55,918
We have two hot, smart,
beautiful college girls
1019
00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:58,629
at the peak of their sexual powers
about to meet us at one of
1020
00:54:58,713 --> 00:55:02,383
the last great nightclubs in Florida.
Worry about them.
1021
00:55:05,178 --> 00:55:07,388
Okay.
1022
00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:28,951
I don't think you're very
popular here, Grandpa.
1023
00:55:29,035 --> 00:55:31,537
You're the one that's going
to have to watch out.
1024
00:55:31,621 --> 00:55:34,457
- You might get Oreo'd.
- Oreo'd?
1025
00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:36,876
That's when two black guys
fuck a white guy.
1026
00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:39,337
You're the cream in the middle.
1027
00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:54,185
Game on.
1028
00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:56,354
Hey! Glad you guys made it.
1029
00:55:56,437 --> 00:56:00,024
- Let's go get fucked up. Right?
- My step dad hates me!
1030
00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:03,110
Let's go!
1031
00:56:12,203 --> 00:56:13,871
Party till you're pregnant!
1032
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:19,585
Oh, my God, I love this song!
1033
00:56:20,878 --> 00:56:22,463
You're not gonna die on me, are you?
1034
00:56:22,547 --> 00:56:24,715
- I don't think so.
- All right!
1035
00:56:31,973 --> 00:56:34,392
- Come on.
- Oh, no. No.
1036
00:57:06,841 --> 00:57:10,845
You want it?
Come here, give me that hat!
1037
00:57:10,928 --> 00:57:13,222
Oh, my God...
1038
00:57:15,182 --> 00:57:16,350
Give me that!
What is this?
1039
00:57:16,434 --> 00:57:18,561
Hey! Hey, hey, hey...
1040
00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:21,439
Leave my illegitimate
black son alone.
1041
00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,233
We were just
asking him to dance.
1042
00:57:24,317 --> 00:57:28,195
- Well, he don't wanna dance.
- Well, maybe you wanna dance instead.
1043
00:57:28,279 --> 00:57:29,697
- I don't wanna dance...
- Colonel Sanders!
1044
00:57:29,780 --> 00:57:31,532
It's all right.
It's all right.
1045
00:57:31,616 --> 00:57:34,118
Let's not dirty this place up.
1046
00:57:34,201 --> 00:57:37,371
It's a shrine. Sinatra sang here.
Parking lot?
1047
00:57:43,002 --> 00:57:44,545
It'll be fine.
1048
00:57:44,629 --> 00:57:49,175
How is this going to be fine?
Look at this crew.
1049
00:57:49,258 --> 00:57:51,010
Come on.
We have a good crew too.
1050
00:57:52,303 --> 00:57:54,639
We have no crew.
1051
00:57:54,722 --> 00:57:56,223
We have no crew.
1052
00:57:56,307 --> 00:57:58,351
Are we going to J.Crew?
1053
00:57:58,434 --> 00:57:59,560
Fuck J.Crew.
1054
00:58:02,605 --> 00:58:03,606
Don't do this.
1055
00:58:03,689 --> 00:58:05,316
I think I'm going
to have to fight them all,
1056
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:06,984
so you're going to have
to take the first punch.
1057
00:58:07,068 --> 00:58:09,987
- What?
- Okay! He's up first.
1058
00:58:10,071 --> 00:58:11,322
Whatever.
1059
00:58:12,490 --> 00:58:13,866
You like that shit, white boy?
1060
00:58:13,949 --> 00:58:15,576
Dude, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
1061
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:17,787
What? You want next, bitch?
1062
00:58:18,412 --> 00:58:21,415
Hey, I thought I had next.
1063
00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:39,350
Tell him you're sorry
you made fun of him for being gay.
1064
00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:43,104
I'm sorry I made fun
of you for being gay!
1065
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:45,398
Tell him you were raised
in a different era,
1066
00:58:45,481 --> 00:58:47,608
but now you know
it's wrong to judge people
1067
00:58:47,692 --> 00:58:49,944
based on their sexual orientation
1068
00:58:50,027 --> 00:58:52,905
and that if you had to be gay with
someone for some reason,
1069
00:58:52,988 --> 00:58:55,199
you know, to prevent a
terrorist attack or something,
1070
00:58:55,282 --> 00:58:56,784
it would be with him.
1071
00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:59,245
What? Ow!
1072
00:58:59,328 --> 00:59:01,288
Say it.
1073
00:59:01,372 --> 00:59:05,793
If I had to be gay with somebody
1074
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:09,296
to prevent a terrorist attack,
it would be you!
1075
00:59:11,549 --> 00:59:14,343
Apology accepted.
1076
00:59:14,427 --> 00:59:15,803
Okay.
1077
00:59:16,637 --> 00:59:18,931
Get out of here
before I use my other arm.
1078
00:59:20,683 --> 00:59:23,811
This ain't over.
1079
00:59:26,063 --> 00:59:29,191
Now fuck off
and take Jodeci with you.
1080
00:59:29,275 --> 00:59:31,110
Let's roll.
1081
00:59:35,823 --> 00:59:39,160
It's too bad Lenore barfed
all over herself tonight.
1082
00:59:39,243 --> 00:59:41,162
I definitely could have
had sex with her.
1083
00:59:41,245 --> 00:59:42,997
Yup.
1084
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:46,959
I probably could have still had sex
if she just threw up on her front,
1085
00:59:47,042 --> 00:59:50,212
but she somehow got it all over her
back, and I would have felt bad.
1086
00:59:50,296 --> 00:59:53,215
Well, chivalry isn't dead.
1087
00:59:53,299 --> 00:59:56,635
I like the way you took
that haymaker tonight.
1088
00:59:56,719 --> 00:59:59,764
Sometimes you just gotta take
that punch up front, you know?
1089
00:59:59,847 --> 01:00:02,767
Then things get easier
in the long run.
1090
01:00:07,021 --> 01:00:10,316
"De Oppresso Liber."
It's written on your knife too.
1091
01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:11,817
What does that mean?
1092
01:00:11,901 --> 01:00:15,821
Hey, lights out after 12:00, boys.
1093
01:00:15,905 --> 01:00:17,531
I better not catch you swimming
1094
01:00:17,615 --> 01:00:19,533
across the lake
to the girls' camp, okay?
1095
01:00:19,617 --> 01:00:21,786
- Night.
- Good night.
1096
01:00:26,499 --> 01:00:30,002
You know, maybe I'll find something to
do with Shadia tomorrow
1097
01:00:30,085 --> 01:00:33,672
and give you and Lenore
a little more alone time.
1098
01:00:37,635 --> 01:00:39,970
I kind of feel like
we're just getting in your way.
1099
01:00:40,054 --> 01:00:43,390
- Yeah?
- I'm sure there's something...
1100
01:00:43,474 --> 01:00:47,186
What the fuck?
Did you just get naked?
1101
01:00:47,269 --> 01:00:50,564
- It's the best way to sleep.
- Oh, my God!
1102
01:00:50,648 --> 01:00:53,067
I picked it up in Uganda
from the Umbatdo.
1103
01:00:53,150 --> 01:00:56,987
Umbat-don't let your junk touch my leg
again or you're sleeping on the floor.
1104
01:00:58,489 --> 01:01:01,575
- Night.
- Night.
1105
01:01:13,546 --> 01:01:17,091
Jason...
1106
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:18,884
The fuck! Oh, my God!
1107
01:01:25,683 --> 01:01:28,018
What do these guys want to cut
all the trees down for anyway?
1108
01:01:28,102 --> 01:01:31,438
For some stupid, like, massive,
tacky entertainment complex.
1109
01:01:31,522 --> 01:01:34,525
You know, the ones with, like, arcades
and laser tag. That sort of thing.
1110
01:01:34,608 --> 01:01:37,361
- Laser tag? I love laser tag.
- Yeah.
1111
01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:39,321
- When does it open?
- Nice. Thanks a lot.
1112
01:01:39,405 --> 01:01:40,948
- Shadia!
- Hi, Griz.
1113
01:01:41,031 --> 01:01:44,618
Oh, my God, your pics from
the Boston rally look amazing!
1114
01:01:44,702 --> 01:01:46,203
- Thank you.
- Yeah. Absolutely.
1115
01:01:46,287 --> 01:01:48,330
Sweet Hacky Sack, man.
1116
01:01:48,414 --> 01:01:50,249
It's not a Hacky Sack, dawg.
That's the trade name.
1117
01:01:50,332 --> 01:01:52,501
It's an organic
hemp-seed foot satchel.
1118
01:01:52,585 --> 01:01:55,713
And what's someone from the fucking
laser tag lobby doing here?
1119
01:01:55,796 --> 01:01:57,506
No, I'm just
a friend of Shadia's.
1120
01:01:57,590 --> 01:01:58,799
Just a friend.
1121
01:01:58,883 --> 01:02:00,467
That's pretty cool, man.
What is that, a dance ball?
1122
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:02,803
Fuck! What the fuck?
1123
01:02:02,887 --> 01:02:04,346
- You're fucking kidding me.
- It's like a...
1124
01:02:05,890 --> 01:02:06,974
What the fuck?
1125
01:02:07,057 --> 01:02:09,977
It's a 4-inch acrylic juggling orb!
Dick.
1126
01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:13,188
I'll see you guys next weekend.
1127
01:02:13,272 --> 01:02:15,608
- Absolutely. Absolutely.
- Yeah? Okay. Bye.
1128
01:02:15,691 --> 01:02:17,735
- Love your necklace.
- Bye.
1129
01:02:20,988 --> 01:02:22,865
Hey, Griz...
1130
01:02:23,991 --> 01:02:25,910
Don't touch that,
it's from Laser Tag.
1131
01:02:25,993 --> 01:02:26,994
Sorry.
1132
01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:29,830
- They're good people. I swear.
- Let me see that.
1133
01:02:29,914 --> 01:02:32,207
Where are you going
with these "good people"?
1134
01:02:32,291 --> 01:02:35,628
We're heading out to the coast
to, um, charter a boat for the year.
1135
01:02:35,711 --> 01:02:37,463
- For the year?
- Yeah.
1136
01:02:37,546 --> 01:02:38,839
To do what?
1137
01:02:38,923 --> 01:02:41,717
We're documenting the effects
of climate change out on the ocean.
1138
01:02:43,218 --> 01:02:46,347
Aren't you supposed
to graduate next weekend?
1139
01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:48,182
Yeah.
1140
01:02:50,267 --> 01:02:54,271
Seems to me like you're
running from something.
1141
01:02:54,355 --> 01:02:56,065
Come on, haven't you
had to make sacrifices
1142
01:02:56,148 --> 01:02:58,025
to get where you are
as a photographer?
1143
01:02:58,108 --> 01:03:01,528
I mean, yeah, but...
1144
01:03:01,612 --> 01:03:03,322
That's different.
1145
01:03:04,657 --> 01:03:06,450
Look at this.
1146
01:03:11,413 --> 01:03:15,793
- I hate photos of myself.
- Why?
1147
01:03:15,876 --> 01:03:17,962
You look beautiful.
1148
01:03:19,797 --> 01:03:21,465
See?
1149
01:03:35,187 --> 01:03:37,648
Hey.
1150
01:03:37,731 --> 01:03:39,233
Wait, just calm down.
1151
01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:42,987
- What?
- Shit. Yeah, we'll be right there.
1152
01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:46,156
- What's going on?
- We gotta go.
1153
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,785
And then I came back from the bathroom
and all those black guys from the club
1154
01:03:49,868 --> 01:03:51,954
were, like, standing around
Lenore and Dr. Richards
1155
01:03:52,037 --> 01:03:54,123
and they were yelling at them
and threatening them
1156
01:03:54,206 --> 01:03:55,749
and they, like, kidnapped them!
1157
01:03:55,833 --> 01:03:59,086
- And I think one of them had a gun!
- Did you see where they took them?
1158
01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:00,212
No.
1159
01:04:00,295 --> 01:04:02,673
Those guys are staying at The Tillman.
That's all I know.
1160
01:04:02,756 --> 01:04:04,758
- Okay.
- Come on!
1161
01:04:04,842 --> 01:04:06,844
- Come on!
- Shit!
1162
01:04:11,348 --> 01:04:13,851
What?
1163
01:04:13,934 --> 01:04:15,728
I smell marijuana.
1164
01:04:19,940 --> 01:04:21,525
What are you going to
do with a bucket?
1165
01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:23,193
I don't know!
1166
01:04:23,277 --> 01:04:25,988
Okay, on three. Ready?
1167
01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:30,576
One, two, three!
1168
01:04:30,659 --> 01:04:32,995
Okay, let me try one more time.
1169
01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:36,874
The GZA, the RZA,
1170
01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,001
Ol' Dirty Bastard.
1171
01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:42,254
- What's going on?
- Gang stuff.
1172
01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:44,631
Raekwon the Chef!
1173
01:04:44,715 --> 01:04:46,925
And the Method Man!
1174
01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:53,474
Hey! Here they are!
How was the protest?
1175
01:04:53,557 --> 01:04:56,226
- It was good.
- Yeah, it was good.
1176
01:04:56,310 --> 01:05:01,482
This is Lamar, Lil' Chris, Big Chris,
Murray Finkelstein.
1177
01:05:01,565 --> 01:05:04,234
And, of course,
you've already met Ty-rizone.
1178
01:05:04,318 --> 01:05:06,653
That nigga's crazy, man.
1179
01:05:06,737 --> 01:05:09,198
Yeah, what's with the N-word, anyway?
I can say it. I can't say it...
1180
01:05:09,281 --> 01:05:11,116
You can say it
when we let you say it.
1181
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:15,412
Which is never. Just never say that
under any circumstances.
1182
01:05:19,708 --> 01:05:21,001
Shotgun!
1183
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,381
What the fuck is going on?
1184
01:05:26,465 --> 01:05:28,258
I thought these guys
wanted to kill you!
1185
01:05:28,342 --> 01:05:29,927
Lebanese Red.
1186
01:05:31,220 --> 01:05:33,847
I had some of this left over
from my time in the Middle East.
1187
01:05:33,931 --> 01:05:36,809
You throw some of this shit around,
you can really get away with anything.
1188
01:05:36,892 --> 01:05:39,812
- Have some.
- You're smoking grass now?
1189
01:05:39,895 --> 01:05:42,022
Jesus, this is
a gateway drug, Grandpa.
1190
01:05:42,106 --> 01:05:44,399
Yeah, well, you just opened
the gateway to being a pussy.
1191
01:05:44,483 --> 01:05:46,860
- Take some.
- Yo, D. Let's fucking bounce!
1192
01:05:46,944 --> 01:05:50,239
- Let's fucking bounce!
- Where?
1193
01:05:52,157 --> 01:05:54,326
And everything is all right
1194
01:05:54,409 --> 01:05:58,789
I got a beep from Kim
And she can fuck all night
1195
01:05:58,872 --> 01:06:01,041
Called up the homies
and I'm asking y'all
1196
01:06:01,125 --> 01:06:04,002
Which park are y'all
playing basketball?
1197
01:06:04,086 --> 01:06:06,463
Get me on the court
and I'm trouble
1198
01:06:06,547 --> 01:06:10,092
Last week fucked around
And got a triple double
1199
01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:12,386
Can I say it?
Can I say it?
1200
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,679
No! No, no.
1201
01:06:13,762 --> 01:06:15,597
- Say it!
- Say that shit!
1202
01:06:15,681 --> 01:06:18,433
Freaking niggas
every way like MJ
1203
01:06:21,603 --> 01:06:24,273
I can't believe
today was a good day
1204
01:06:24,356 --> 01:06:26,942
I'm totally gonna
fuck him tonight.
1205
01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:29,945
Can I watch? 'Cause I kind of want
to fuck him too now.
1206
01:06:32,156 --> 01:06:34,908
Drop the mic, baby!
Drop the mic, baby!
1207
01:06:34,992 --> 01:06:37,035
- That's what I'm talking about!
- Peace out, niggas!
1208
01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:39,872
I see you, boy.
Nasty!
1209
01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:47,171
- Up next we have Shadia and Jason!
- Yep, it's us now.
1210
01:06:47,254 --> 01:06:50,257
What? No. No, no, no, no.
1211
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,050
- No...
- Come on.
1212
01:06:52,134 --> 01:06:54,553
We can't top that.
I don't want to do this.
1213
01:06:55,679 --> 01:07:00,100
You know the song.
You know every word. See?
1214
01:07:00,184 --> 01:07:02,102
You're going to make me
do it all alone?
1215
01:07:02,186 --> 01:07:03,729
Fine.
1216
01:07:05,856 --> 01:07:07,149
Hey.
1217
01:07:07,232 --> 01:07:11,153
For all those times
you stood by me
1218
01:07:11,236 --> 01:07:14,615
For all the truth
that you made me see
1219
01:07:14,698 --> 01:07:18,493
For all the joy
you brought to my life
1220
01:07:18,577 --> 01:07:22,539
For all the wrong
that you made right
1221
01:07:22,623 --> 01:07:26,335
For every dream
you made come true
1222
01:07:26,418 --> 01:07:30,631
For all the love I found in you
1223
01:07:30,714 --> 01:07:35,010
I'll be forever thankful, baby
1224
01:07:35,093 --> 01:07:38,680
You're the one who held me up
1225
01:07:38,764 --> 01:07:42,726
And never let me fall Yeah, yeah
1226
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:46,146
You're the one
who saw me through
1227
01:07:46,230 --> 01:07:48,815
Through it all
1228
01:07:48,899 --> 01:07:52,527
You were my strength
when I was weak
1229
01:07:52,611 --> 01:07:56,323
You were my voice
when I couldn't speak
1230
01:07:56,406 --> 01:08:00,202
You were my eyes
when I couldn't see
1231
01:08:00,285 --> 01:08:03,872
You saw the best there was in me
1232
01:08:03,956 --> 01:08:08,001
Lifted me up
when I couldn't reach
1233
01:08:08,085 --> 01:08:12,381
You gave me faith
'cause you believed
1234
01:08:12,464 --> 01:08:18,470
I'm everything I am
1235
01:08:18,553 --> 01:08:23,684
- Damn!
- Because you loved me
1236
01:08:31,358 --> 01:08:33,110
Who are you?
1237
01:08:35,570 --> 01:08:38,365
I'm just saying,
who sings that well
1238
01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,242
and isn't a professional singer?
1239
01:08:40,325 --> 01:08:42,452
You're so good at singing
you actually suck!
1240
01:08:42,536 --> 01:08:44,830
You guys want to come up
for a nightcap?
1241
01:08:44,913 --> 01:08:48,959
- Yeah, well...
- See if shit gets real?
1242
01:08:50,377 --> 01:08:55,716
Well, young Michael Buble and I are
gonna have a stogie by the pool, so...
1243
01:08:57,968 --> 01:08:59,636
- See you up there?
- Yeah.
1244
01:09:05,976 --> 01:09:07,811
I want you to know
how much I appreciate
1245
01:09:07,894 --> 01:09:09,563
you doing this for me, Jason.
1246
01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:13,108
The greatest gift a grandson
can give his grandfather
1247
01:09:13,191 --> 01:09:17,696
is a hot college girl who wants to have
unprotected sex with him before he dies.
1248
01:09:17,779 --> 01:09:22,409
Yeah, well, most grandpas
just want toffee.
1249
01:09:25,829 --> 01:09:27,789
What's the matter?
1250
01:09:29,166 --> 01:09:31,460
I think I'm gonna
call off my wedding.
1251
01:09:33,879 --> 01:09:38,925
Well, when you get married,
it's for a long fucking time.
1252
01:09:39,009 --> 01:09:40,927
And it's hard.
1253
01:09:41,011 --> 01:09:44,431
So it damn well better be with a woman
who keeps things interesting.
1254
01:09:44,514 --> 01:09:48,727
You know your grandmother, she tried
to grow her own pot plant once?
1255
01:09:50,312 --> 01:09:51,313
- Really?
- Yeah,
1256
01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:53,482
she just wanted to see
if she could do it.
1257
01:09:55,525 --> 01:09:57,861
She was always
surprising me like that.
1258
01:10:00,030 --> 01:10:03,367
We also tried anal
once every five years.
1259
01:10:05,202 --> 01:10:06,828
Sweet.
1260
01:10:06,912 --> 01:10:10,457
I miss having someone
to share everything with.
1261
01:10:13,502 --> 01:10:17,339
It's not fair to just keep Shadia
in the dark like this.
1262
01:10:17,422 --> 01:10:20,675
Since we started this,
it's just been one big lie.
1263
01:10:20,759 --> 01:10:23,637
She has no idea who I am.
1264
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:25,597
I have to tell her the truth.
1265
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:30,060
Well, maybe telling her
tonight is a little abrupt.
1266
01:10:30,143 --> 01:10:33,230
The most important part
of a relationship is trust.
1267
01:10:33,313 --> 01:10:36,108
- That's right.
- And I'm going to start now.
1268
01:10:36,191 --> 01:10:39,986
Or you can just wait till
I have sex with Lenore tonight,
1269
01:10:40,070 --> 01:10:42,155
then you can tell Shadia everything.
1270
01:10:42,239 --> 01:10:47,160
- No. I'm just lying.
- Jason, I'm your grandfather!
1271
01:10:47,244 --> 01:10:48,954
You wait till I fuck
that college girl!
1272
01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:51,081
- I'm telling her now.
- Jason...
1273
01:10:51,164 --> 01:10:53,125
Jason! Jason!
1274
01:10:53,208 --> 01:10:55,335
Jason! Jason!
1275
01:10:57,379 --> 01:11:00,006
'Sup, brah?
1276
01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:03,635
Back off, D cups!
1277
01:11:03,718 --> 01:11:07,055
Well, if it isn't the "professor."
1278
01:11:07,139 --> 01:11:11,059
You know, it's amazing what you can find
with a name and Google these days.
1279
01:11:11,143 --> 01:11:12,686
You're not a real professor?
1280
01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:15,605
Oh, my God!
You lied to us. How could you?
1281
01:11:15,689 --> 01:11:18,650
Wait, wait, wait, this is the best part.
This is the best part.
1282
01:11:18,733 --> 01:11:22,696
Richard "Dick" Kelly,
Lieutenant Colonel
1283
01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:25,782
in the United States Army,
1284
01:11:25,866 --> 01:11:29,828
also known as the
American Gladiator "Nitro."
1285
01:11:29,911 --> 01:11:31,246
What the fuck did you Google?
1286
01:11:31,329 --> 01:11:35,083
Okay, well, there's
another best part then.
1287
01:11:35,167 --> 01:11:40,630
"Jason Patrick Kelly will wed
Meredith Miriam Goldstein
1288
01:11:40,714 --> 01:11:44,301
at Jericho Temple
on Saturday, March 27th."
1289
01:11:44,384 --> 01:11:48,555
Oh, wait, that's, um, next Saturday.
1290
01:11:48,638 --> 01:11:52,267
Wait, you're grandfather
and grandson?
1291
01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:54,895
Oh, my God!
That is so fucked up.
1292
01:11:54,978 --> 01:11:57,439
That is so hot.
I mean, that is so fucked up.
1293
01:12:00,734 --> 01:12:06,323
So... are you getting married
next weekend?
1294
01:12:06,406 --> 01:12:09,159
I was.
I was getting married,
1295
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:10,827
but then I met you,
and now I don't...
1296
01:12:10,911 --> 01:12:13,163
Oh, my God!
No. Don't pull that shit.
1297
01:12:14,789 --> 01:12:17,209
I feel fucking stupid enough as it is.
1298
01:12:21,505 --> 01:12:24,424
So you're not a professor?
Are you even a photographer?
1299
01:12:24,508 --> 01:12:25,759
I'm a lawyer.
1300
01:12:28,345 --> 01:12:32,140
I handle SEC compliance.
1301
01:12:32,224 --> 01:12:34,601
LLC agreements.
I came up here to...
1302
01:12:34,684 --> 01:12:36,353
Get the fuck out, Jason. Seriously.
1303
01:12:36,436 --> 01:12:38,522
- Can I have a second to explain?
- No!
1304
01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:41,441
Hold up, hold up.
Not so fast, professor.
1305
01:12:43,568 --> 01:12:46,988
For what's it worth,
I still really want to fuck you.
1306
01:12:47,072 --> 01:12:49,407
- And we're going to fuck.
- Yeah, we are.
1307
01:12:49,491 --> 01:12:52,160
- We're going to thunder fuck.
- You're gonna tsunami on my face!
1308
01:12:52,244 --> 01:12:54,621
You're gonna flood like the Nile.
1309
01:12:54,704 --> 01:12:56,915
Yeah. I guess the drought
in my pussy is finally over.
1310
01:12:56,998 --> 01:12:59,125
The villagers will finally eat.
1311
01:12:59,209 --> 01:13:00,627
You're gonna die
while you're eating me out.
1312
01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,504
I want your last breath
to be in my pussy.
1313
01:13:02,587 --> 01:13:03,755
Lenore!
You're such a slut.
1314
01:13:03,838 --> 01:13:07,050
- Police!
- That's right. Po-po in the ho-ho.
1315
01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:08,885
Some kind of ganja party?
1316
01:13:08,969 --> 01:13:11,680
- Sorry to harsh your mellows.
- Where's my e-vite?
1317
01:13:11,763 --> 01:13:13,348
- Is that the jacket?
- Check the right coat pocket.
1318
01:13:13,431 --> 01:13:14,516
- Check it, man.
- Okay, turn around. Come on.
1319
01:13:14,599 --> 01:13:16,142
That's my jacket.
That's not his jacket.
1320
01:13:16,226 --> 01:13:17,394
Up against the palm. There you go.
1321
01:13:17,477 --> 01:13:19,396
Let's have a look.
What've you got in here? Huh?
1322
01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:20,689
- Bingo-bango.
- OMG.
1323
01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:22,482
What the fuck?
That's not mine!
1324
01:13:22,566 --> 01:13:24,651
- "What the fuck?"
- That's not mine!
1325
01:13:24,734 --> 01:13:28,905
The fuck? Well, it looks like
Spring Break is finally drug free!
1326
01:13:28,989 --> 01:13:30,657
Come on, let's go.
Let's go, pretty boy.
1327
01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:32,158
Oh, shall we?
1328
01:13:32,242 --> 01:13:34,452
No, it doesn't go down that way.
Let's go.
1329
01:13:34,536 --> 01:13:35,537
I'll wait for you, Grandpa.
1330
01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:37,372
Keep that shit tight for me!
1331
01:13:37,455 --> 01:13:39,666
He's my Henry Miller.
1332
01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:43,044
- What the fuck does that mean?
- Exactly!
1333
01:13:46,006 --> 01:13:47,757
Hey, there he is.
1334
01:13:47,841 --> 01:13:50,093
You got blood on your pants, you know.
1335
01:13:50,176 --> 01:13:51,803
Your license
isn't even suspended, is it?
1336
01:13:51,886 --> 01:13:53,972
You made all this up just so
I'd come down here with you.
1337
01:13:54,055 --> 01:13:58,018
- I had to make sure you'd come.
- Fuck you!
1338
01:13:58,101 --> 01:14:00,729
Just chill, Jason.
Hakuna matata.
1339
01:14:02,522 --> 01:14:04,024
Who the fuck are you?
1340
01:14:04,107 --> 01:14:06,109
I should have known
you were fucking crazy
1341
01:14:06,192 --> 01:14:09,195
the moment you started hitting on women
the day after Grandma's funeral!
1342
01:14:09,279 --> 01:14:11,239
Don't you fucking judge me.
1343
01:14:11,323 --> 01:14:13,366
You have no idea
what I had with your grandmother.
1344
01:14:13,450 --> 01:14:16,578
And everything I've done these
last few days I've done for a reason.
1345
01:14:16,661 --> 01:14:19,039
You were about to fuck up
royally by getting married,
1346
01:14:19,122 --> 01:14:20,498
- and you fucking know it!
- Oh, yeah?
1347
01:14:20,582 --> 01:14:23,460
What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
1348
01:14:23,543 --> 01:14:25,712
Chase around some college girl
1349
01:14:25,795 --> 01:14:27,631
that doesn't even
want to fucking talk to me?
1350
01:14:27,714 --> 01:14:30,050
Not know what the fuck I'm doing
for the rest of my life?
1351
01:14:30,133 --> 01:14:32,177
Yeah, because at least you'd be thinking
for yourself for a change.
1352
01:14:32,260 --> 01:14:34,763
- What the fuck does that even mean?
- Your father has lorded over
1353
01:14:34,846 --> 01:14:37,390
every decision
you've made in your adult life,
1354
01:14:37,474 --> 01:14:39,559
and Meredith is just
the latest example of that!
1355
01:14:39,643 --> 01:14:41,227
She's not right for you, Jason.
1356
01:14:41,311 --> 01:14:42,979
If you marry her,
you're going to be sleepwalking
1357
01:14:43,063 --> 01:14:44,981
through the rest of your life
and be completely unhappy,
1358
01:14:45,065 --> 01:14:47,942
- just like your father!
- I am already unhappy with my life,
1359
01:14:48,026 --> 01:14:51,363
because I've done nothing
but get fucked by you
1360
01:14:51,446 --> 01:14:54,032
and this insane fuck rampage
that you've been on.
1361
01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:57,619
It wasn't a "fuck rampage" for me.
It was a "fuck rampage" for you.
1362
01:14:57,702 --> 01:15:00,747
- How? How is this for me?
- I fucked up as a father.
1363
01:15:00,830 --> 01:15:03,708
I wasn't there to raise your dad
and he turned into a materialistic,
1364
01:15:03,792 --> 01:15:07,128
henpecked, poop-dick
country clubber.
1365
01:15:07,212 --> 01:15:11,257
- I don't want that to happen to you.
- So that's what this was?
1366
01:15:13,134 --> 01:15:16,012
I was your last-ditch
redemption project.
1367
01:15:21,476 --> 01:15:23,395
Congratulations, Grandpa.
1368
01:15:23,478 --> 01:15:25,563
You thought you were a shitty father?
1369
01:15:27,315 --> 01:15:29,150
Now you're a shitty grandfather.
1370
01:15:32,195 --> 01:15:34,781
I don't want to see you
at my wedding.
1371
01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:36,741
Stay the fuck away from me.
1372
01:16:19,451 --> 01:16:22,287
So, do you like this size, or this size?
1373
01:16:33,298 --> 01:16:35,717
Hey, hon, the people at the venue
1374
01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:37,886
said they don't have
enough mint napkins,
1375
01:16:37,969 --> 01:16:41,347
so which one do you like better?
1376
01:16:41,431 --> 01:16:45,685
The seafoam or the pistachio?
1377
01:16:46,478 --> 01:16:48,062
I'll get it.
1378
01:17:03,161 --> 01:17:04,245
What is it?
1379
01:17:04,329 --> 01:17:07,582
Oh, it's, uh...
Just another wedding present.
1380
01:17:07,665 --> 01:17:12,337
I hope it's that new big dipping spoon
from Williams-Sonoma.
1381
01:17:22,347 --> 01:17:27,310
...and as a tribute
to Meredith and Jason
1382
01:17:27,393 --> 01:17:29,145
and the love that you guys share.
1383
01:17:29,229 --> 01:17:31,105
A love I will never know
because my dog
1384
01:17:31,189 --> 01:17:34,484
died the first day I masturbated.
So now I can't get hard unless...
1385
01:17:34,567 --> 01:17:35,610
Okay.
1386
01:17:35,693 --> 01:17:39,322
Also, we've got to stop ISIS.
It's gotten... It's too much.
1387
01:17:41,366 --> 01:17:43,409
Got it. Got it.
1388
01:17:43,493 --> 01:17:47,455
You know, today's celebration
is much more
1389
01:17:47,539 --> 01:17:49,958
than just about the union
of two people,
1390
01:17:50,041 --> 01:17:53,253
it's also about the union
of two families.
1391
01:17:53,336 --> 01:17:55,964
- Jason, Meredith...
- The Kellys and the Goldsteins.
1392
01:17:56,965 --> 01:18:00,093
Let's have Jason and Meredith
tell their own story.
1393
01:18:04,973 --> 01:18:07,392
Nice job, Uncle Dave!
1394
01:18:13,690 --> 01:18:17,944
For all those times
you stood by me
1395
01:18:18,027 --> 01:18:21,990
For all the truth
that you made me see
1396
01:18:22,073 --> 01:18:25,743
For all the joy
you brought to my life
1397
01:18:25,827 --> 01:18:27,161
Brought to my life
1398
01:18:27,245 --> 01:18:29,998
For all the wrongs
that you made right
1399
01:18:30,081 --> 01:18:34,168
For every dream
you made come true
1400
01:18:34,252 --> 01:18:36,004
For all the love
1401
01:18:36,087 --> 01:18:38,840
I found in you
1402
01:18:38,923 --> 01:18:39,924
I'll be...
1403
01:18:40,008 --> 01:18:43,511
You've gotta be
forever thankful, baby
1404
01:18:43,595 --> 01:18:47,307
You're the one who held me up
1405
01:18:47,390 --> 01:18:51,936
Never let me fall
1406
01:18:52,020 --> 01:18:54,022
Let's go in for the kill.
1407
01:18:55,773 --> 01:18:59,152
Through it all
1408
01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,366
You've been hacked.
1409
01:19:05,450 --> 01:19:08,202
You were my strength
when I was weak
1410
01:19:08,286 --> 01:19:11,956
- You were my voice...
- When I couldn't speak
1411
01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:15,835
You were my eyes
when I couldn't see
1412
01:19:15,919 --> 01:19:19,839
You saw the best there was in me
1413
01:19:19,923 --> 01:19:24,928
Lifted me up
when I couldn't reach
1414
01:19:29,057 --> 01:19:32,268
I'm everything I am
1415
01:19:32,352 --> 01:19:35,897
Because you love me
1416
01:19:35,980 --> 01:19:37,649
Because you love me.
1417
01:19:52,497 --> 01:19:53,831
What the fuck?
1418
01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:58,169
That is not Martha's Vineyard.
1419
01:19:59,420 --> 01:20:00,964
Jason!
1420
01:20:02,548 --> 01:20:04,676
- Take it off!
- Trying, dear. Trying.
1421
01:20:04,759 --> 01:20:07,261
- Leave them on.
- Shut it down.
1422
01:20:07,345 --> 01:20:09,055
I have something to say.
1423
01:20:11,516 --> 01:20:15,728
I think I've been listening
to everybody else
1424
01:20:15,812 --> 01:20:17,897
about what I should be
doing with my life.
1425
01:20:17,981 --> 01:20:20,525
My grandpa said something
really interesting.
1426
01:20:20,608 --> 01:20:23,069
All right, cut the mics.
I'm going up.
1427
01:20:23,152 --> 01:20:27,281
...take that punch, that point forward,
things get easier.
1428
01:20:29,033 --> 01:20:30,910
- The mic's off.
- Jason, your mic cut out.
1429
01:20:30,994 --> 01:20:31,953
What?
1430
01:20:32,036 --> 01:20:33,871
Your mic cut out at the
most inopportune time,
1431
01:20:33,955 --> 01:20:37,333
so we can't hear
why you want to leave those images up.
1432
01:20:38,209 --> 01:20:41,379
Hitting it won't work.
If they caught it from the PA... Band?
1433
01:20:41,462 --> 01:20:42,588
What the fuck?
1434
01:20:42,672 --> 01:20:45,133
Nick, can you
tell her something for me?
1435
01:20:45,216 --> 01:20:48,094
Can you tell her that, uh...
1436
01:20:49,846 --> 01:20:53,850
I'm really sorry,
but I can't marry her.
1437
01:20:53,933 --> 01:20:57,854
You think that message
should come from me? Okay...
1438
01:20:57,937 --> 01:21:02,859
Uncle Ramon, can you tell
Meredith that Jason's sorry,
1439
01:21:02,942 --> 01:21:05,069
but that they can't get married?
1440
01:21:07,905 --> 01:21:09,323
Oh, fuck!
1441
01:21:11,075 --> 01:21:15,371
I forgot Uncle Ramon was deaf
and I talked to him like a normal.
1442
01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:20,168
Uncle Ruben, can you please tell
Meredith that Jason is really sorry,
1443
01:21:20,251 --> 01:21:22,336
but that he can't marry her?
1444
01:21:24,464 --> 01:21:30,219
He says he's very
sorry, but he can't marry you.
1445
01:21:30,303 --> 01:21:33,806
Uncle Ruben, can you turn
that thing up a little?
1446
01:21:33,890 --> 01:21:36,142
It doesn't get any louder.
1447
01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:38,061
Where'd you get
that thing, SkyMall?
1448
01:21:39,562 --> 01:21:43,816
At this point, I'm kind of nervous that
anybody I pick will have a disability.
1449
01:21:43,900 --> 01:21:46,652
Okay... Waiter...
Hey, Pubes.
1450
01:21:48,071 --> 01:21:52,492
Can you please go tell Meredith
that my cousin Jason is very sorry,
1451
01:21:52,575 --> 01:21:53,785
but they cannot get married?
1452
01:21:55,495 --> 01:21:57,038
Come on, man.
It's my first day...
1453
01:21:57,121 --> 01:21:58,372
I know it's your first day,
1454
01:21:58,456 --> 01:22:00,291
but everybody needs
you to be a man here.
1455
01:22:00,374 --> 01:22:01,918
Okay.
1456
01:22:04,587 --> 01:22:06,464
Just real quick...
1457
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:09,592
He sent me...
He wants me to tell you that...
1458
01:22:11,677 --> 01:22:13,888
He doesn't think that he can marry you.
1459
01:22:16,140 --> 01:22:17,683
But that he's sorry that he can't.
1460
01:22:22,647 --> 01:22:26,484
She's laughing, so I think
that you're in the clear, bro.
1461
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:28,152
No, it's good.
That was good.
1462
01:22:28,236 --> 01:22:30,238
You can just go back and tell him
1463
01:22:30,321 --> 01:22:33,658
that I fucked his cousin Nick
while he was gone.
1464
01:22:35,409 --> 01:22:37,120
She's so super cool about it.
1465
01:22:37,203 --> 01:22:41,582
She's like,
"Go! Do your thing. Do you."
1466
01:22:41,666 --> 01:22:44,627
- She said that?
- That's what she said, verbatim.
1467
01:22:44,710 --> 01:22:46,546
Wait. Should I come down and say bye?
1468
01:22:46,629 --> 01:22:48,297
- No. God! Fuck no!
- No?
1469
01:22:48,381 --> 01:22:50,049
Yeah. No need to even...
Let's not even...
1470
01:22:50,133 --> 01:22:52,635
You just... I've done it...
We're great!
1471
01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:55,721
Wait, where the fuck is he going?
1472
01:22:55,805 --> 01:22:58,057
Jason! Jason!
1473
01:23:09,068 --> 01:23:12,071
It's actually the guy
on the moped with the iPad.
1474
01:23:12,155 --> 01:23:16,033
NSA stopped using
utility vans years ago.
1475
01:23:16,117 --> 01:23:18,244
I figured once you sent
the camera back,
1476
01:23:18,327 --> 01:23:20,288
it was time to take
drastic measures.
1477
01:23:20,371 --> 01:23:22,373
What'd he say?
Are we doing this?
1478
01:23:22,456 --> 01:23:24,750
Plan B, have Pam kidnap you.
1479
01:23:24,834 --> 01:23:28,129
- I've got to get her back.
- You want me to kidnap her?
1480
01:23:28,212 --> 01:23:30,298
I'll bring her back to you
in a box, bro.
1481
01:23:30,381 --> 01:23:33,259
She's on a bus headed west
on I-85 across Florida.
1482
01:23:33,342 --> 01:23:35,511
Her boat leaves in four hours.
1483
01:23:35,595 --> 01:23:38,264
It was easy to track her down because
of the whole Middle Eastern thing.
1484
01:23:38,347 --> 01:23:41,225
Bet you never thought you'd 69 a girl
because of the Patriot Act.
1485
01:23:41,309 --> 01:23:43,644
You 69 her, man!
1486
01:23:43,728 --> 01:23:45,479
And then she's dead.
1487
01:23:45,563 --> 01:23:47,315
Are you kidding me, Pam?
This is what you drive?
1488
01:23:47,398 --> 01:23:49,609
Oh, yeah, it is so easy
selling kids drugs
1489
01:23:49,692 --> 01:23:51,569
from an ice cream truck. It's crazy!
1490
01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:54,363
- Jason! Jason!
- Go, go, go, go!
1491
01:23:54,447 --> 01:23:55,823
Jason, stop! Stop right now.
1492
01:23:55,907 --> 01:23:57,241
Stop! Stop!
1493
01:23:58,034 --> 01:24:01,162
If you leave right now, you can
kiss your job at the firm goodbye!
1494
01:24:01,245 --> 01:24:03,289
David, will you get
the fuck out of the way!
1495
01:24:04,332 --> 01:24:07,543
Hey, hey! Come on!
What the hell?
1496
01:24:07,627 --> 01:24:10,213
Hey, guy, unless you want
a Chipwich or some heroin,
1497
01:24:10,296 --> 01:24:11,714
get off my ice cream truck!
1498
01:24:11,797 --> 01:24:13,049
Who the fuck is this slob?
1499
01:24:13,132 --> 01:24:15,885
Slob? I am a small business owner!
1500
01:24:15,968 --> 01:24:17,803
I am the backbone of this country!
1501
01:24:17,887 --> 01:24:20,181
I am holding a Taser!
1502
01:24:20,264 --> 01:24:22,225
- Whoa! Shit!
- Dude, should I stop?
1503
01:24:22,308 --> 01:24:23,351
- What are you...
- I'm kind of in the middle
1504
01:24:23,434 --> 01:24:24,435
of it right here.
1505
01:24:24,518 --> 01:24:26,479
Shit! All right.
1506
01:24:28,147 --> 01:24:30,441
Raise your hand
if you've got a boner!
1507
01:24:32,193 --> 01:24:34,362
What were we supposed to do?
Just leave him on the side of road?
1508
01:24:35,696 --> 01:24:39,158
Hey, man, can you slow down?
You're making this very difficult.
1509
01:24:39,242 --> 01:24:41,911
What the fuck! That was you who drew
all those dicks on me last week?
1510
01:24:41,994 --> 01:24:44,247
- Yeah, I drew the dicks. Busted!
- Oh, my God!
1511
01:24:44,330 --> 01:24:45,748
Oh, shit!
1512
01:24:45,831 --> 01:24:47,541
Don't worry. Get up.
We'll cut through the back roads.
1513
01:24:47,625 --> 01:24:49,335
- Wait, what?
- You navigate. I'll drive.
1514
01:24:54,173 --> 01:24:56,801
Watch out! Watch out!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1515
01:24:56,884 --> 01:24:58,761
What the hell, man?
1516
01:25:05,101 --> 01:25:06,269
WELCOME TO FLORIDA
1517
01:25:06,352 --> 01:25:08,104
What the hell is going on?
1518
01:25:09,981 --> 01:25:13,150
- Whoa! Got ourselves a bogey.
- All right, let's do this!
1519
01:25:19,156 --> 01:25:21,242
Fuck! We gotta lose some of this weight.
1520
01:25:21,325 --> 01:25:23,160
Pam, throw some
of this shit out of here!
1521
01:25:23,244 --> 01:25:27,081
Hey, look, it's Pam.
He's the good kind of Greek.
1522
01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:28,416
Hey!
1523
01:25:28,499 --> 01:25:29,917
Hey, Gene.
Hey, Gary.
1524
01:25:33,004 --> 01:25:34,714
How do you know
how to drive like that, Dad?
1525
01:25:35,881 --> 01:25:37,758
Damn it, Grandpa.
Just tell him!
1526
01:25:38,342 --> 01:25:41,012
I was a Green Beret
in Special Forces.
1527
01:25:41,095 --> 01:25:43,347
I taught insurgents
behind enemy lines.
1528
01:25:43,431 --> 01:25:44,974
Mechanic was just my cover.
1529
01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:47,101
Good! We're all made up!
1530
01:25:47,184 --> 01:25:50,229
There they are!
That's them! Let's go, go, go!
1531
01:25:53,607 --> 01:25:55,609
- Shadia!
- Jason?
1532
01:25:55,693 --> 01:25:58,446
Stop the bus!
I need to talk to you!
1533
01:25:58,529 --> 01:25:59,613
What are you doing here
1534
01:25:59,697 --> 01:26:01,157
- in an ice cream truck?
- Stop the bus!
1535
01:26:01,240 --> 01:26:02,533
- Okay!
- Pull over!
1536
01:26:02,616 --> 01:26:04,618
I'm not pulling over!
1537
01:26:04,702 --> 01:26:07,496
Thanks a lot, Pam!
You narc!
1538
01:26:07,580 --> 01:26:11,083
What! I'm not a narc, Barry!
Fuck you!
1539
01:26:11,167 --> 01:26:12,376
Pam, you know him?
1540
01:26:12,460 --> 01:26:14,378
Barry? Yeah, he's, like,
my best friend.
1541
01:26:14,462 --> 01:26:16,756
I sold him, like,
six tons of ecstasy... Oh!
1542
01:26:16,839 --> 01:26:19,175
That's why they're not
stopping the bus.
1543
01:26:19,258 --> 01:26:23,220
It's full of drugs.
Classic Pam.
1544
01:26:23,304 --> 01:26:24,680
- I know them.
- Stop the bus!
1545
01:26:24,764 --> 01:26:27,975
- Jason, where are you going?
- What are you doing?
1546
01:26:29,560 --> 01:26:31,145
What are they...
1547
01:26:42,615 --> 01:26:44,033
You'd better marry that girl.
1548
01:26:44,116 --> 01:26:46,452
Me? Nah, she's not really
my type. Too skinny.
1549
01:26:56,337 --> 01:26:57,963
What the fuck?
1550
01:26:59,090 --> 01:27:00,841
Slow down!
Oh, my God!
1551
01:27:00,925 --> 01:27:02,843
What are you doing?
1552
01:27:02,927 --> 01:27:04,845
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1553
01:27:04,929 --> 01:27:06,055
Slow down, dude!
1554
01:27:14,522 --> 01:27:16,524
- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
- Go get her, man!
1555
01:27:17,942 --> 01:27:19,485
What is going on?
What just happened?
1556
01:27:19,568 --> 01:27:23,030
Hey. I don't even fucking know,
but I'm not getting married.
1557
01:27:23,114 --> 01:27:28,077
Okay, so that makes it okay
that you were lying to me?
1558
01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:29,370
No. No, it doesn't.
1559
01:27:29,453 --> 01:27:33,040
But you have to admit that
when we were together it felt great.
1560
01:27:33,124 --> 01:27:37,086
- There was something real there.
- Yeah.
1561
01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:44,552
- What do you want from me, Jason?
- I want you to stay.
1562
01:27:48,222 --> 01:27:51,142
I just can't stay.
1563
01:27:53,644 --> 01:27:55,813
Okay.
1564
01:27:55,896 --> 01:27:58,232
No, I get it.
1565
01:27:58,315 --> 01:28:00,234
Yeah.
1566
01:28:05,865 --> 01:28:07,366
What if I come with you?
1567
01:28:09,326 --> 01:28:10,953
Come...
1568
01:28:12,329 --> 01:28:13,873
- Really?
- I mean...
1569
01:28:15,166 --> 01:28:19,879
I just broke up with my fiancรฉe,
lost my job.
1570
01:28:19,962 --> 01:28:22,339
And I think I'm wanted
by the police, so...
1571
01:28:22,423 --> 01:28:24,675
A year at sea...
1572
01:28:26,427 --> 01:28:28,721
...might actually be
the best place for me.
1573
01:28:31,140 --> 01:28:33,058
Okay.
1574
01:28:45,154 --> 01:28:47,948
- Break it up, lesbians! Let's go.
- Get down on the ground!
1575
01:28:48,032 --> 01:28:49,617
We're doing this because
you're lesbians!
1576
01:28:49,700 --> 01:28:51,243
Get down on the ground!
1577
01:28:51,327 --> 01:28:55,456
According to
Interstate Statute 17.37,
1578
01:28:55,539 --> 01:28:58,042
arrests made on the
Interstate Highway System
1579
01:28:58,125 --> 01:29:01,170
must be executed by state police,
not your local law enforcement
1580
01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:03,255
from your adjacent municipalities.
1581
01:29:03,339 --> 01:29:06,675
You seem, like, really familiar
with the penal code.
1582
01:29:06,759 --> 01:29:10,095
You seem real cocksure about
the juris-dick-tion you're in.
1583
01:29:10,179 --> 01:29:13,140
Real cocksure! Someone drew dicks
all over your face, you idiot!
1584
01:29:13,224 --> 01:29:15,226
Well, look at that!
You got dicks on your face.
1585
01:29:15,309 --> 01:29:17,853
That middle one's mine.
Look it, this one right here.
1586
01:29:17,937 --> 01:29:20,481
- I traced it.
- I thought I recognized that!
1587
01:29:20,564 --> 01:29:22,900
Enough catching up.
Let my friends go.
1588
01:29:22,983 --> 01:29:25,486
They've literally
done nothing wrong.
1589
01:29:25,569 --> 01:29:27,821
Pam, we've got obstruction
of justice here.
1590
01:29:27,905 --> 01:29:31,742
- We got reckless endangerment.
- The bus is full of drugs, I get it.
1591
01:29:31,825 --> 01:29:33,536
Speaking of which,
I've got to get out of here.
1592
01:29:33,619 --> 01:29:36,622
I got three keys of "Frisbees" showing
up to the store today, so...
1593
01:29:36,705 --> 01:29:40,960
- I should go, question mark?
- Why don't you take my squad car.
1594
01:29:41,043 --> 01:29:42,336
That's a good idea.
Give him your keys.
1595
01:29:42,419 --> 01:29:44,755
- You mean these keys?
- There they are.
1596
01:29:46,131 --> 01:29:47,841
- Yeah!
- Classic Pam.
1597
01:29:47,925 --> 01:29:49,885
Classic Pam.
What do you say we get some lunch?
1598
01:29:49,969 --> 01:29:51,053
Love it.
1599
01:29:53,013 --> 01:29:54,932
See you fucks later.
1600
01:29:55,015 --> 01:30:00,271
So, uh, I'm gonna go with her.
1601
01:30:02,189 --> 01:30:05,985
Yeah, you should.
She seems real nice.
1602
01:30:07,486 --> 01:30:11,115
You know, I think this is
our only way back now,
1603
01:30:11,198 --> 01:30:14,702
so I'm gonna try to get these
cocks off of my face
1604
01:30:14,785 --> 01:30:16,996
and get that truck started.
1605
01:30:19,748 --> 01:30:22,084
- Just give me one sec.
- Yeah.
1606
01:30:29,758 --> 01:30:32,261
Grandpa...
1607
01:30:32,344 --> 01:30:34,722
- Thank you for...
- Don't give me any of that shit.
1608
01:30:34,805 --> 01:30:36,473
Just let me know when you get back.
1609
01:30:36,557 --> 01:30:40,019
And I actually want to see
your photos in Time magazine.
1610
01:30:40,102 --> 01:30:43,314
This camera set me back
three months of my army pension!
1611
01:30:56,910 --> 01:30:58,329
Thanks, Grandpa.
1612
01:30:59,163 --> 01:31:03,792
- Oh, and, Jason...
- Yeah?
1613
01:31:05,586 --> 01:31:07,755
Back in the '80s,
when Andre the Giant
1614
01:31:07,838 --> 01:31:10,716
used to go to the Playboy Mansion,
1615
01:31:10,799 --> 01:31:14,178
he'd stack five playmates
on top of each other on a bed
1616
01:31:14,261 --> 01:31:16,430
and fingerfuck them all.
Five at a time.
1617
01:31:16,513 --> 01:31:18,265
Because his hands were so big.
1618
01:31:20,601 --> 01:31:24,605
So... that's it.
1619
01:31:29,360 --> 01:31:31,904
Thanks, Grandpa.
1620
01:31:31,987 --> 01:31:33,739
"De Oppresso Liber."
1621
01:31:35,282 --> 01:31:37,076
Motto of the Green Berets.
1622
01:31:38,661 --> 01:31:40,496
It means "to liberate the oppressed."
1623
01:31:53,842 --> 01:31:56,470
- Hey. You ready?
- Yep.
1624
01:32:15,489 --> 01:32:17,241
Well, thanks for the ride.
1625
01:32:19,493 --> 01:32:20,911
You gonna be okay, Dad?
1626
01:32:23,163 --> 01:32:24,790
I miss her.
1627
01:32:26,875 --> 01:32:28,460
But I'll be okay.
1628
01:32:32,339 --> 01:32:38,595
- I was a shitty father and I'm sorry.
- Well, we'll work on it.
1629
01:32:54,737 --> 01:32:57,281
You're a hard man
to track down, professor.
1630
01:33:00,868 --> 01:33:03,996
- Are those my pants?
- Yeah, these are your pants.
1631
01:33:04,079 --> 01:33:05,998
I found a Werther's
Original in the pocket
1632
01:33:06,081 --> 01:33:07,875
and I've been
sucking on it all morning.
1633
01:33:07,958 --> 01:33:11,503
You do know that
I'm not a professor, right?
1634
01:33:11,587 --> 01:33:12,713
Yeah, I know.
1635
01:33:12,796 --> 01:33:15,340
You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa,
1636
01:33:15,424 --> 01:33:18,469
and I'm just a girl
from Long Island City
1637
01:33:18,552 --> 01:33:20,137
who likes to fuck old people.
1638
01:33:21,430 --> 01:33:23,140
I like your pull-out couch.
1639
01:33:23,223 --> 01:33:26,059
Yeah, well, I got news for you.
1640
01:33:26,143 --> 01:33:29,396
That's the only thing
that's gonna be pulling out tonight.
1641
01:33:29,480 --> 01:33:31,064
I'll be right back.
1642
01:33:48,165 --> 01:33:49,500
Oh, hey.
1643
01:33:49,583 --> 01:33:54,171
Look, I'm... I'm sorry.
I don't know if I can do this.
1644
01:33:54,254 --> 01:33:55,672
I haven't done it for a long time.
1645
01:34:14,858 --> 01:34:17,778
Whoops! I guess they just slipped off.
1646
01:34:19,363 --> 01:34:22,366
I want you to tear open my bra
like it's a social security check.
1647
01:34:33,043 --> 01:34:35,295
Tell me you've fallen
and you can't get up.
1648
01:34:35,379 --> 01:34:38,215
"Help, I've fallen
and I can't get up."
1649
01:34:38,298 --> 01:34:39,550
Oh, no!
1650
01:34:40,968 --> 01:34:43,679
Now fumble around and pretend like
you're trying to find your glasses.
1651
01:34:43,762 --> 01:34:45,889
"I'm trying to find my glasses.
I can't see.
1652
01:34:47,516 --> 01:34:51,144
I found them! I can see! I can see!"
1653
01:34:51,228 --> 01:34:54,273
Tell me it's 4:00
and you want to eat dinner.
1654
01:34:54,356 --> 01:34:56,483
"It's 4:00 and I want to eat dinner."
1655
01:34:56,567 --> 01:34:58,026
Tell me the buttons
on your remote control
1656
01:34:58,110 --> 01:35:00,320
are so small
that you can't find Fox News.
1657
01:35:00,404 --> 01:35:04,116
"The buttons on my remote control
are so small I can't find Fox News!"
1658
01:35:04,199 --> 01:35:06,410
- Tell me how small they are!
- "They're real small!"
1659
01:35:06,493 --> 01:35:08,328
Tell me how this neighborhood
used to be safer!
1660
01:35:08,412 --> 01:35:09,913
"This neighborhood used to be safer!"
1661
01:35:09,997 --> 01:35:12,040
Tell me how things were
better under Eisenhower!
1662
01:35:12,124 --> 01:35:14,167
"Things were better under Eisenhower!"
1663
01:35:14,251 --> 01:35:15,752
- We like Ike!
- We like Ike!
1664
01:35:15,836 --> 01:35:17,045
- We like Ike!
- We like Ike!
1665
01:35:17,129 --> 01:35:18,338
We like Ike!
1666
01:35:18,422 --> 01:35:19,590
We like Ike!
1667
01:35:19,673 --> 01:35:21,258
We like Ike!
1668
01:35:21,341 --> 01:35:22,968
We like Ike!
1669
01:35:23,051 --> 01:35:24,595
We like Ike!
1670
01:35:26,513 --> 01:35:27,806
Are you cumming or dying?
1671
01:35:27,890 --> 01:35:30,601
I'm not sure! Maybe both!
1672
01:35:41,486 --> 01:35:44,281
"...for as by a man came death.
1673
01:35:47,284 --> 01:35:51,872
By a man has come also life."
1674
01:35:51,955 --> 01:35:55,125
Richard Kelly II.
1675
01:35:55,208 --> 01:35:58,211
Congratulations
on the baby's new godparents,
1676
01:35:58,295 --> 01:36:00,172
Jason and Shadia.
1677
01:36:00,255 --> 01:36:01,465
Congratulations!
1678
01:36:03,926 --> 01:36:07,304
Back to Mommy. All baptized.
1679
01:36:07,387 --> 01:36:09,222
You just keep surprising me, Grandpa.
1680
01:36:10,182 --> 01:36:13,101
New dad at 72.
Great fucking idea.
1681
01:36:13,185 --> 01:36:14,728
Hey, watch your potty mouth!
1682
01:36:14,811 --> 01:36:17,064
- Jesus, sorry...
- Yeah, clean up your language.
1683
01:36:17,147 --> 01:36:19,149
And show some respect
for your new grandmother!
1684
01:36:19,232 --> 01:36:20,734
- I'm sorry, honey.
- That's all right.
1685
01:36:20,817 --> 01:36:23,695
And sweetie, would it kill
you to visit us sometimes?
1686
01:36:23,779 --> 01:36:26,823
- We never see you.
- Sorry, Nanna.
1687
01:36:26,907 --> 01:36:28,075
You wanna go grab the car?
1688
01:36:28,158 --> 01:36:29,242
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1689
01:36:29,326 --> 01:36:32,079
I'll pull around the minivan.
Go to Daddy.
1690
01:36:32,162 --> 01:36:35,248
There we go, come to Daddy.
All right.
1691
01:36:36,333 --> 01:36:38,085
It's a little bit weird.
1692
01:36:38,919 --> 01:36:40,545
She's my grandma.
1693
01:36:42,381 --> 01:36:44,508
And you're my uncle.
1694
01:36:46,593 --> 01:36:48,929
- Look at that.
- Holy shit!
1695
01:36:49,012 --> 01:36:51,765
- It's a good dick.
- Oh, my God! Put that away.
1696
01:36:51,848 --> 01:36:53,225
- It's our dick.
- Yeah.
1697
01:36:53,308 --> 01:36:54,851
I'm just relieved
it's not his dick.
1698
01:36:57,521 --> 01:36:59,189
You want to get the bottle for me?
1699
01:36:59,272 --> 01:37:01,066
- Oh, yeah.
- Hey! What you doing there?
1700
01:37:05,237 --> 01:37:07,114
- Jamba!
132890
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