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1
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:10,311
Roland: Hey Ronnie, I need
the combination to the safe.
2
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,480
- It's your safe.
You have the combination.
3
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,216
- Okay, then I need the number
of a locksmith.
4
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,085
- I used a guy this weekend.
5
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:20,421
Yeah, Gwen locked me out.
(Laughs)
6
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,755
By accident.
7
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:24,092
- Roland,
why do you need the safe?
8
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,527
- I've just been to the baby
doctor,
9
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,330
and I have some top secret
information
10
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,532
about whether it's a boy
or a girl.
11
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,601
Joce and I wanna keep it
a surprise.
12
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,436
- Your wife's pregnant
in her 40's.
13
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,571
How many surprises do you need?
14
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:43,244
- Uh, it's kind of a Schitt
family tradition there, Ronnie.
15
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,479
Okay, I guess I just gotta
crack this myself.
16
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:49,049
It's either my birthday,
or Gloria Estefan's.
17
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,486
- Mucho dias, mes amis.
- Morning!
18
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,457
- Anyway, moral of the story,
I got a new keychain,
19
00:00:56,490 --> 00:01:02,363
and I keep a sleeping bag
in the car. (Laughs)
20
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:08,702
- Okay, turns out it's
Gloria's, September 1, 57.
21
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,472
- Who put a picture of a ghost
on my desk?
22
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,174
- (Roland gasps)
23
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,176
I can't believe
you opened that!
24
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,677
- It was on my desk.
25
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,646
- That's the sonogram
of our baby!
26
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,414
I've been tryin' not
to look at it.
27
00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:22,216
We don't wanna know
what we're having.
28
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,252
- Roland, you couldn't possibly
discern...
29
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,819
oh no, it tells you here
at the bottom.
30
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,456
- Don't say a word.
- That's not fair!
31
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,225
Roland, why should I be
the only one encumbered
32
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,527
with this emotional cargo?
33
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,701
Oh, Ronnie, Ronnie,
34
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,604
might you and I confabulate
for a moment in the back room?
35
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,906
- No, Moira, I'm not falling
for that one.
36
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,875
- No, I assure you.
37
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:51,912
I assure you it's a salacious
bit of Council-related news.
38
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,315
Oh.
39
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,317
(Footsteps clank)
40
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,286
Robert?
41
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,288
Thank you.
42
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:05,826
♪♪♪
43
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,230
(Jazz music plays)
44
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:13,701
(Footsteps shuffle,
floorboards creek)
45
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:18,372
(Deep inhale, slow exhale)
46
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,543
- Okay, I'm gonna say it, we've
been open for 3 hours now,
47
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,313
and not a single customer's
walked through that door.
48
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:28,916
- Well, I mean, I heard that
there was a storm warning
49
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,552
for today, so.
- Oh.
50
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:34,288
- How do you explain yesterday?
51
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,857
- Maybe the storm warning
was for yesterday.
52
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,792
- So then how do you explain
today?
53
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,728
- Okay, I don't have all
the answers.
54
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,763
Um, have we checked to see
if the door is unlocked?
55
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,798
- I think that we need to be
a little more proactive
56
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,934
about this. We can't just
wait for people to come in.
57
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,403
We have to find better ways
to engage with the community.
58
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,239
Or, hey, just like a way.
59
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,840
Just one way to engage
with the community.
60
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:57,478
- Well, there's someone...
that...is going to the café.
61
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,981
- You know why people
are always in the café?
62
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,850
Because they feel at home there,
63
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,353
it feels like... comfortable.
64
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:11,459
- Okay, are you saying that I
don't make people feel at home?
65
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,926
- Um...
66
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,528
- Okay.
67
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,297
- You remember our opening day
here?
68
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:19,533
- Yes! It was opening day,
and there was booze.
69
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:23,404
And people are drunks.
- Yes but they still showed up.
70
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,439
We need to do something
to make this store
71
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,007
feel a little bit more
accessible,
72
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,578
a little bit more inclusive.
- (David sighs)
73
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,415
Okay. Well, I am open
to suggestions.
74
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,016
- What if we hosted
an open mic night?
75
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,552
- I am open to suggestions.
76
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,521
- I actually used to host one
in high school.
77
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,790
There was a little café around
the corner from my house,
78
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,292
it had a little stage
in the back.
79
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,694
Drew a pretty big crowd.
80
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,728
- Okay.
81
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,431
So there was a point
at which you,
82
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,966
and some of your fellow amateur
singer songwriters
83
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,770
would gather and perform poetry
and songs?
84
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,272
- Yeah.
- For one another?
85
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,508
- Mhm. That's right.
- Oh god.
86
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,410
- The occasional improve
troupe would stop by.
87
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:07,481
- I'm um...I'm feeling
kind of ill.
88
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:08,916
- David, you can laugh now,
89
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,752
but an open mic night can be
a surprising amount of fun.
90
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,021
Worst case scenario, we get
some people in the store.
91
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:18,759
Okay, no, worst case scenario,
I watch improv.
92
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,733
- (Alexis clears throat)
93
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,336
Okay, so first of all,
I would like to thank you both
94
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,903
for meeting with me today.
95
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,672
- Was this really necessary?
96
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,408
- That's a good question,
and the answer is, yes.
97
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:35,476
Um, I'm just gonna say it.
98
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,078
this place needs a ton
of work, like top to tail.
99
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,649
We're talking serious,
but manageable, fixes.
100
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,385
- I think what you mean to say
is proposed improvements?
101
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,920
- No, I mean like full-blown
things that need fixing.
102
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,088
- Oh.
103
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,524
- Um, the comment cards,
for example,
104
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:53,961
It's become very clear to me
that you don't read them.
105
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,696
- They're just a placebo effect
106
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,665
for people who feel
the need to complain.
107
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,033
- Uh, you have to take those
with a grain of salt, honey.
108
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,102
Those cards are written
by embittered people
109
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,505
with way too much time
on their hands.
110
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,006
- A lot of these are from Mom.
111
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,576
Um, but some of them
are from people
112
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,378
who are trying to point out
things like,
113
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,979
you don't even have a website.
114
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,715
- We have a website.
- No. I looked it up,
115
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:18,719
and it's just like a cartoon
of a construction worker
116
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,456
holding a sign that says
"we'll be right back". So.
117
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,392
- It's under construction.
118
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:27,361
And the phone booking
system works just fine.
119
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:31,499
- Um, actually the phone
booking system is confusing,
120
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:35,469
and the woman's voice was
aggressive and off-putting.
121
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:41,709
- I had strep at the time.
- Okay.
122
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:46,480
I'm gonna offer you both
a PR and marketing strategy,
123
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,148
pro bono.
124
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,518
And if you're into it,
we'll pull the trigger,
125
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,586
we'll work on my contract
and my salary,
126
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,522
and then we'll get things
going from there.
127
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,124
- Well, now's not the time
to take our foot off the gas,
Stevie,
128
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,593
and if we have a publicist
at our disposal.
129
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:01,595
- Would we call her
a publicist?
130
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,030
- Um, I actually prefer
to be called
131
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,666
a freelance brand invigorator.
Stevie: Hmm.
132
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,536
- And I also have a super easy
multi-step plan in place
133
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,070
for the motel.
134
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,973
- That sounds intense.
135
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:17,478
Um, maybe we should take a
minute and think about this.
136
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:20,113
- Well, I don't think there's
any harm
137
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:23,517
in exploring Step 1
of the plan.
138
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:26,887
- That's great, because Step 1
of the plan
139
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,490
was this presentation,
and we nailed it.
140
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:33,861
So, as your new VP of Marketing
and Communications,
141
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,597
I'd say we're off
to a great start.
142
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,499
- Yeah.
143
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,734
- I'll pass.
144
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,504
(Car engine roars)
145
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,473
(Door chime rings)
146
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,808
(Customers chatter,
low music plays)
147
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,577
- Don't worry, Moira,
148
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,712
I'm not gonna ask you whether
I'm having a boy or a girl.
149
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,146
- Wonderful.
150
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,048
- Roland told me what happened
today,
151
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:58,018
I just feel terrible that you
are in this sticky situation.
152
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,187
- Don't worry, I've propelled
it to the back of my brain.
153
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,989
- You must think
that this is silly,
154
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,624
but keeping the gender
of the baby a secret
155
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,759
is a bit of a tradition
in Roland's family.
156
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,495
- I believe he said so, yes.
157
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,630
- It goes way back.
Way, way back.
158
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,599
Salem, Massachusetts, actually.
159
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,467
Yeah, his great-great-great
great-grandmother
160
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,803
accurately guessed the sex
of her daughter's baby,
161
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,638
and then was put on trial
for witchcraft,
162
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:21,475
so, you would see why.
- Toil and trouble.
163
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:23,911
- Roland never should've left
that envelope on your desk.
164
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,014
And now look at you,
burdened with this secret.
165
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,882
I mean, you must just wanna
shout out
166
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,919
"it's a boy!"
Or, "it's a girl!"
167
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,655
Is it a girl?
- Valiant attempt, Jocelyn.
168
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:37,190
- I was just testing you.
169
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,627
I mean, I wouldn't wanna break
the Schitt family tradition.
170
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,895
Stupid witch! (Cries)
171
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:45,065
- Oh Jocelyn, look at yourself.
172
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,935
- I know. I'm embarrassed
by my behaviour.
173
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,737
And you are being so strong,
Moira.
174
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,940
I can't imagine just holding
all that information,
175
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,942
keeping it to yourself.
176
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,545
- Veronica!
177
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,079
(Door chime rings)
178
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,882
She just have forgotten
her handbag.
179
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:05,753
I'm sorry, you were talking
about something?
180
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,088
(Door creeks)
181
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,891
- Someone took a long
coffee break.
182
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,760
- Oh, I'm sorry,
did I miss the evening rush?
183
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,062
- Uh, yes,
one customer came in,
184
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,565
who was asking for directions.
185
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,932
- Well, I have good news.
186
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:21,835
I got us a permit
for tomorrow night,
187
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,672
and Ronnie says that we can get
around the liquor license
188
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,640
if we just charge people
cover at the door, so.
189
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,842
- What's the permit for?
190
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,778
- The open mic night.
191
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,780
- Oh!
192
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,784
So we're moving forward with
the open mic night, then.
193
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,018
- Yeah! We're moving forward
with it.
194
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,620
People are pretty excited
about it, too.
195
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,689
Did you know Bob does beat
poetry in his spare time?
196
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,757
- No.
197
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:48,662
Oh god. Um...
what's that-what's that?
198
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,098
- This is called an acoustic
guitar.
199
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,101
- Right. Okay,
200
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,036
when we were talking
about the open mic night,
201
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,871
I thought that you would be
hosting it,
202
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,674
not performing at it.
203
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:04,044
- Well, traditionally the host
plays at least one song, so.
204
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,346
- Right. Okay.
205
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,017
So then you will be...playing
your acoustic guitar
206
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,352
in front of people then,
in public.
207
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,622
- And singing a song.
- And singing a song.
208
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,323
- I was thinking about singing
an original song.
209
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,759
- An original song?
- But then I thought you know,
210
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,794
it's probably best just
to stick with a classic.
211
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:23,864
- Yeah. Classic.
212
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,034
- So I'm sensing some
apprehension.
213
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,170
- No, I think it's, you know,
it's...
214
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,372
it's not scary or embarrassing
215
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,042
for the person you're dating
to sing at you
216
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,944
with an acoustic guitar
in front of people.
217
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,846
I think that's cool.
218
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,748
- David, you're gonna be fine.
219
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,683
It's just a way to get some
people in the store, okay?
220
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,685
- Yeah. Yes, for sure.
221
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,353
I mean, if you are, confident,
222
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,355
to put yourself
and our relationship at risk
223
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:52,025
like that,
then I am... 87% behind you.
224
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,928
- Good to know.
So now the only question is,
225
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,964
do I wear my fringed vest?
- Okay.
226
00:09:56,997 --> 00:10:00,901
- Or more importantly,
do I wear anything under it?
227
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,836
- Okay.
(Strums guitar)
228
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,143
(Camera clicks)
229
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,148
(Camera clicks)
230
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,318
- Okay, hi, hi.
231
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:21,221
This image is gonna be used
as the key art
232
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,991
for the new website, so it has
to be like, on message.
233
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,093
- Yes, uh, Stevie, Mr. Rose,
234
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,395
the motivation here
is two small-town friends
235
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,998
welcoming guests
to their humble motel.
236
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,333
- Oh. Should I be holding
a key?
237
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,670
- No, Mr. Rose, unless you wanna
look really, really corny.
238
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:39,039
- Yeah, like really, really
cheesy, and off-brand.
239
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,208
- All right, no key. No key.
240
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,011
- Just look at the camera
like uh, it's a guest.
241
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:47,981
If the camera was your guest,
how would you greet her?
242
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,719
- I don't know.
243
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,988
- Um, welcome to the Schitt's
Creek Motel.
244
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,323
I'm Johnny Rose.
245
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:59,259
- Um, yes, but no,
don't use your mouth.
246
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,461
Uh, um, talk to the guests
with your face.
247
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,797
Smile with your eyes.
248
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:06,800
- What the fuck does that mean?
249
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,937
- Okay, Johnny, what are
we doing with our hands?
250
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,472
- Alexis, I don't love you
calling me Johnny.
251
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,142
- Okay, are we done here?
- Okay, it's probably my fault,
252
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,144
but I don't think I've gotten
a good photo yet.
253
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,047
- Yeah, something about this
is just not working for me.
254
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,150
- Um, like can you... (whispers)
255
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:26,153
- Okay, um, Mr. Rose,
256
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,822
would you mind taking
one step to your left?
257
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:35,062
Okay now, three more steps
to your left.
258
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,234
- So Stevie, one other angle
259
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,937
that I'm playing is focusing
just on you.
260
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,472
You're the hook.
261
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,208
Pretty country girl who doesn't
care about big city things
262
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:52,012
like dressing well,
or how she looks.
263
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:56,984
We could rename the motel like,
Stevie's Place.
264
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:01,288
- Stevie's Place sounds like
a shelter for battered men.
265
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,424
- Okay, well the name was
just a jumping off point.
266
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:07,027
Um, we could use your
last name,
267
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,129
and call it the Budd Inn.
268
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,765
And now that I'm saying
that out loud,
269
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,033
obviously we're not gonna
do that.
270
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,168
But I do wanna focus on you.
271
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,838
- Is this a team meeting,
'cause I'm part of the team.
272
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:21,074
- Uh, no we're good, we're
gonna focus on a solo shot.
273
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,443
- Solo?
274
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,378
- Don't take it personally,
Mr. Rose,
275
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,781
it's probably because you didn't
know what to do with your hands.
276
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,449
Or maybe it's because your face
looked like
277
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,052
it tasted something sour.
Or maybe--
278
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,855
- Thank you, Ray, I get it.
279
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,426
- Okay, actually, I'm really
not good with this.
280
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,061
- Okay, Stevie, you need more
confidence,
281
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,831
because this is all you.
(Camera clicks)
282
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,000
(Camera clicks)
283
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,338
Like literally anything.
284
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,040
(Camera clicks)
285
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,908
- Okay, I'm gonna need a minute.
286
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,410
- We didn't budget for that,
but sure.
287
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,511
(Door closes)
288
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:01,214
- Attention everyone,
after much, much discussion,
289
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:04,184
and a brief seance,
Roland and I have decided--
290
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,486
- We wanna know the sex
of our baby, Moira!
291
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:10,958
- Oh boy. Uh, could we hold off
until I get Gwen on the phone?
292
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:14,461
- Are we really still
talking about this?
293
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,263
- Ronnie, you don't have
to stick around
294
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,266
if you don't want to.
- No, no I'm in it now.
295
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,268
- Well, I'm not so sure I am.
296
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,203
Knowing everything your great
grandmother went through,
297
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,572
I would... no,
I will not be held accountable
298
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,274
for invoking a coven.
299
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,310
- Uh, Gwen has stopped
her Pilates tape for this,
300
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,280
so uh, can we get a move on
here?
301
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,983
- Very well, then.
302
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,921
It's a girl.
303
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,956
(Cheering)
304
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,292
(In unison) Tammy!
305
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,527
- Or a boy.
- Huh?
306
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,597
- Perhaps it's a boy.
- Wait, which one is it?
307
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,465
- All of a sudden,
expected attention
308
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,535
has me doubting what I saw.
I barely glanced at that paper.
309
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,037
(Roland sighs)
310
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,206
- No. No,
I very clearly remember,
311
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,541
an M and an F,
312
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,644
just can't recall
which one was circled.
313
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,380
- Well, could you try?
- It's your fault!
314
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,316
You told me to keep it
a secret,
315
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,352
and that's exactly what I did,
even from myself.
316
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,254
- Okay, well nobody panic.
317
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,456
Where did you put the sonogram?
318
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,025
- In the safe.
319
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,393
And I wrote down the new
combination on a sticky note.
320
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,330
- Perfect,
so where's the sticky note?
321
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,099
- Well, the sticky note,
I believe,
322
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,368
is also in the safe.
323
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:32,472
Well that, I will admit,
is my blunder.
324
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,975
- Gwen, you still there? Hello?
325
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,378
- I'm goin' home.
326
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,981
(Robert hangs up phone)
327
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,118
(Door opens and shuts)
328
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,521
- Hey, so no presh,
329
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,524
but the hot 10 I've given you
has turned into a very hot 20.
330
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,994
- Yeah, I'm just a little
overwhelmed right now.
331
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,496
- Okay, um, babe, I get it.
332
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,465
You're probably thinking
like, oh,
333
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,500
is my foundation off
by a shade?
334
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,402
Am I wearing the wrong top?
335
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,504
And the bottom line is, maybe.
336
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,040
But you know what?
(Door opens)
337
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:10,043
- So, I'm playing around
with Ray,
338
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,612
we took some shots with
my hands outta my pockets,
339
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,182
and he thinks with a little
photoshopping,
340
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,350
they may turn out okay.
341
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:21,354
Everything good here?
- Um, Stevie has cold feet.
342
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:27,227
- Okay, Stevie, I know this is
a little overwhelming,
343
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,362
but if you wanna grow
the business,
344
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,231
you gotta play the game.
345
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,565
- Maybe I don't wanna play
the game.
346
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,968
Maybe I don't wanna grow
the business.
347
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:38,571
- Okay, Stevie, as VP,
and CEO of In-House publicity,
348
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,174
growing the business
is generally considered
349
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,609
to be a good thing.
350
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,644
- Right, but the more we grow
the business,
351
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,446
the more money we make.
And the more money we make,
352
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,081
the more likely you are
to take off,
353
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,682
and then I will be left here
stuck with
354
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:52,252
way more responsibility
than I ever asked for.
355
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,154
- What would make you think
I would walk away
356
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,388
from this business?
357
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,224
- Aside from the fact
that your wife
358
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,293
talks about leaving every day?
- Okay, sorry to jump in again,
359
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,495
but this conversation seems
like something
360
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,164
we should have had before
the photo shoot.
361
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,766
- Stevie, whatever decisions
we make,
362
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,535
we make them together.
363
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,370
Nobody's gonna leave you
behind.
364
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:14,141
- Can I get that in writing?
365
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:20,247
- Yeah. We can do that.
366
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,417
- Okay, this is cute.
This is cute.
367
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,786
Ray should be seeing this.
368
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,322
Ray! You should be seeing this.
369
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,193
Johnny's looking half-normal.
(Slams door)
370
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,796
♪♪♪
371
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,731
(Jazz music plays)
372
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,335
(Low hum of patron chatter)
373
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,404
- Hi.
- You see?
374
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,306
You see what I told you?
375
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,441
This is all it took to get
people out on a work night.
376
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:50,643
- Yup, a lot of people are
shopping and drinking.
377
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,046
I don't even know if we need
to do the open mic part.
378
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,781
- Oh, we need the open mic part.
379
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,249
- Do we?
- Yeah.
380
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,319
- Okay. (Sighs)
381
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:03,123
- Hey, I think we're going to
uh, get things started here.
382
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,392
(Cheering)
How's everybody doin'?
383
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,394
(Cheering)
Awesome.
384
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,596
Thanks so much for coming to uh,
385
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:12,232
what I hope will be the first
of many open mic nights
386
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,101
here at the Rose Apothecary.
387
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,803
Um, David and I are so excited
you could all come.
388
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:19,672
I see everybody's loaded up
on drink tickets.
389
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,441
- Oh yeah.
390
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,642
- That's good news.
391
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,245
I'm going to uh, I guess I'm
gonna get the party started,
392
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,813
right after I tune up
this little baby.
393
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,549
- Oh dear, you're awfully brave
allowing your beau
394
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,551
to indulge himself like this.
395
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,321
- Okay, this was not my idea.
396
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,257
- All right, um...
397
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,160
I would like to dedicate
this song
398
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:44,331
to a very special someone
in my life.
399
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,167
David Rose.
- Okay.
400
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,371
- There he is, right there.
That's him. Can't miss him.
401
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,806
- You'll let me know if I
should pull the fire alarm?
402
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,208
- Yes.
403
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,210
(Patrick plays guitar)
404
00:17:57,244 --> 00:18:01,714
(Playing "Simply the Best"
by Tina turner)
405
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:05,552
♪ I call you when I need you,
my heart's on fire ♪
406
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,858
♪ You come to me wild
and wired ♪
407
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,562
♪ You come to me
408
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,465
♪ And give me everything
I need ♪
409
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,568
♪ Give me a life time
of promises ♪
410
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,736
♪ And a world of dreams
411
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:29,609
♪ Speak the language of love
like you know what it means ♪
412
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,580
♪ And it can't be wrong
413
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,716
♪ Take my heart
and make it strong, babe ♪
414
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,286
♪ 'Cause you're simply
the best ♪
415
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,755
♪ Better than all the rest
416
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,791
♪ Better than anyone
417
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,195
♪ Anyone I've met
418
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:51,198
♪ And I'm stuck on your heart
419
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:54,201
♪ I hang on every word you say
420
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,569
♪ Tear us apart
421
00:18:56,603 --> 00:19:00,173
♪ Baby, I'd rather be dead
422
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:01,808
♪ In your heart I see
423
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,910
♪ The start of every night
and every day ♪
424
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,345
- Moira?
- (Moira gasps)
425
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,647
Oh, you two,
I told you I don't know.
426
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,816
- But we do.
We called the doctor.
427
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,451
- You did? Lovely.
428
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,453
- Don't you wanna know
what it is?
429
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,488
- I'll give you three guesses.
430
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:18,291
- Moira, we're having a boy.
431
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,793
- A boy, I believe I told
you that.
432
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,562
How wonderful!
433
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,398
My boy right now
is being serenaded
434
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:28,568
by his butter-voiced beau.
435
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,470
♪ In your heart I see
436
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,772
♪ The start of every night
and every day ♪
437
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:38,378
♪ In your eyes I get lost,
I get washed away ♪
438
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,615
♪ Just as long as I'm here
in your arms ♪
439
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,552
♪ I can be in no better place
440
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,455
♪ You're simply the best
441
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,724
♪ Better than all the rest
442
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:54,394
♪ Better than anyone
443
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:57,430
♪ Anyone I've met
444
00:19:57,464 --> 00:20:00,367
♪ Oh, you're the best
445
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,502
(Strum final cords)
446
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,373
(Applause and cheering)
447
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,909
Thank you.
448
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,311
Thank you!
449
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,979
(Applause)
450
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,415
(Crickets chirp)
451
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,754
- Okay, I'm so excited
for you to see this.
452
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,656
- This would've been much more
of a surprise,
453
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,592
if I hadn't heard the
construction all morning.
454
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,994
- Okay, Stevie, you can take
the blindfold off.
455
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,963
- In 10...9...
456
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,466
- Okay, just take
the blindfold off.
457
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,639
- See Stevie,
we're both up there, now.
458
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:42,542
- Why isn't it just Rose Motel?
459
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,678
The Rosebud makes it
a sad stunted thing.
460
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:48,815
- Okay, it's just that Budd
is Stevie's last name.
461
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,551
- Oh, oh that's nice then.
462
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:55,888
- Yeah, except it's Budd,
with two d's, but...
463
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,858
- Okay, well that would just
look insane.
464
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,628
Also, I didn't know that.
465
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,963
- Can we have breakfast now?
466
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:06,032
- Yeah, let's celebrate.
Come on!
467
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:09,902
- Oh, um, not to brag,
but this rebrand got me 77%
468
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,604
on my final marketing exam.
469
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,906
- Okay, have you ever gotten
an A?
470
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,508
- Enough, David.
471
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,945
(Birds chirp)
35736
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