Original subtitles

(bell ringing)

♪ When I wake up in the morning ♪

♪ And the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books ♪

♪ And I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪

♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate all my homework last night ♪

♪ Riding low in my chair ♪

♪ She won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow, it'll be all right ♪

♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the ♪

♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the ♪

♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

(upbeat music) (doorbell rings)

(doorbell ringing)

- Coming!

- Hey Screech!

I cannot believe your parents

are really leavin' us with the house for four days.

It's a dream come true.

- Really?

I usually dream that I'm on Gilligan's Island.

(audience laughing)

Surrounded by beautiful girls, but none of 'em talk to me.

(audience laughing)

- I wanna tell ya, that's not a dream.

That's your life.

(audience laughing)

(horn honking)

- Mom, hurry up, Dad's freakin' out!

- I'm coming!

Oh!

Oh, oh, sorry, be careful with the King.

Elvis is not a toy.

Oh, I'd just die if anything happened to it.

- Oh.

Mrs. Powers, I hope you and Mr. Powers

have a wonderful anniversary at Graceland.

Where you staying?

- Heartbreak Hotel.

(audience laughing)

- Where else?

Uh, don't worry about a thing.

Just enjoy yourself.

- Oh, thank you, Zachary.

I'm just so glad my Samuel has a friend

as trustworthy as you.

- [Zack] (laughs) Oh, thank you.

- Well, bye Mom.

Oh, and don't forget my Elvis slippers, size 11.

- Oh, my little man is all grown up!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, that.

(horn honking)

- Ooh, ooh, I almost forgot.

Hound Dog! (whistles)

Oh, Mommy almost left without saying goodbye.

Now, I want you boys to have fun.

Oh yeah, one more thing, here are a few little house rules.

- All right.

What?

(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

- But rule 136 says no girls.

Rule 137 says no parties.

- Screech-- - Hey look,

just leave him alone.

So, we can't have a party, big deal,

but we can still have some fun.

We'll do, you know, guy stuff.

- Yeah.

It'll be great.

We'll rip phone books in two and burp as loud as we want.

- There you go, Screech.

- So, look-- - Hi, guys.

Let's all go to the movies tonight.

- Uh, sorry girls, it's guys' night in.

- Yup, men doin' men things.

- And no babes.

- Well, excuse us.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, let's go.

Come on, Screech.

- [Slater] See ya, Screech.

- Oh no, guys, Violet just waved at me.

What do I do?

- Hey, here she comes.

Stop drooling, you don't want her to slip.

(audience laughing)

- Hi Samuel, I really enjoyed your presentation

in biology yesterday. (giggles)

- Oh, well, I've always loved

the mating habits of worms, yeah.

- Oh, oh, goodness gracious, Samuel.

Are you all right there?

- Violent Ann Bickerstaff. (snaps)

(audience laughing)

- Hi, Maxwell, I--

- I buy you this gold-plated pocket protector,

and I find you conversing with another man?

- Screech, I think Violet has the hots for you.

- Why would she want me?

She's dating the richest, most powerful dork at Bayside.

(audience laughing)

- And the biggest creep, the way he treats her.

- Yeah.

- Just remember, you're my squaw,

and that means you don't talk to any hunk but me, eh?

- [Audience] Aw!

- Oh.

- Gee, if she were my girl,

I'd let her talk to any geek she wanted to.

(audience laughing)

- All right, Maxwell, you listen and you listen good.

Violet is a woman and deserves to be treated with respect!

(Maxwell chuckles)

- I know exactly what you need.

(audience laughing)

- You tell him, honey!

(upbeat music)

- Guess what.

Violet broke up with Maxwell.

- All right! - Yeah.

I just dumped the dweeb.

I was tired of being treated as a nerd ornament, ha.

(audience laughing)

- Well, good for you, you deserve someone better,

someone like, uh, hey, what about Screech, yeah?

- You mean Samuel Powers?

Oh, he's so dreamy!

(audience laughing)

Well, why would he want me?

He could have any girl he wants.

- We have just entered the Twilight Zone.

(audience laughing)

- Violet, why don't you come to the movies with us?

- [Violet] Oh!

- Hey, yeah, and if we hurry,

we can all catch the eight o'clock show.

- I'd rather find out

what Zack, Screech, and Slater are up to.

They said they were gonna do men things,

whatever that means.

- My brothers see who can burp the loudest.

My youngest brother can say his full name,

Kenny Leonard Kapowski, in one burp.

- Ugh!

(Violet snorts and laughs)

(audience laughing)

- [Kelly] Yeah.

- Hmm, you know, I'd love to know

what guys do when we're not around.

- Yeah. - You mean, besides

talking about babes.

(girls laughing)

- [Kelly] Yeah.

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

(light jazz music)

- Huh.

(audience laughing) (upbeat music)

♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

♪ Barbara Ann ♪ ♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

♪ Come take my hand ♪ ♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

♪ Barbara Ann ♪ ♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

♪ You've got me rockin' and a-rollin' ♪

♪ Rockin' and a-reelin' ♪

♪ Barbara Ann ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

♪ You've got me rockin' and a-rollin' ♪

♪ Rockin' and a-reelin' ♪

♪ Barbara Ann ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

(audience laughing)

(girls cheering)

- Hey, hey, hey, what are you guys doin' here?

- Watching you dance, bubba.

(Jessie laughs)

- Come on, you guys gotta get outta here.

- Hi Samuel.

I really loved your dancing. (giggles)

- Oh yes, we loved how you all moved.

- Oh, yes.

- Oh yeah, right girls?

♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

- Come on, watch out.

♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪

- [Screech] Come on!

- [Violet] Oh!

- [Audience] Ooh!

- Looks like the King is dead again.

(upbeat music) (audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

Hey, come on, Screech, wake up.

- Come on, Screech, it's just a stupid Elvis statue.

Now, how important could that be?

- Lisa, you don't understand.

My mom said she'd die if anything ever happened to it.

(magical music)

(peaceful music)

(audience laughing)

- Hello Samuel.

- Mom, you're back!

Um, wow, uh, so what's different about you?

Did you shave your eyebrows?

- No, I told you I'd die

if anything happened to my Elvis statue.

When the King hit the floor, I bit the big one.

(audience laughing)

- It was an accident, Mom, I'm sorry.

- Oh, I forgive you, Samuel,

but now you're gonna have to apologize to him.

(bluesy music)

(audience laughing)

- Thank you, thank you very much.

Is the boy who got you all shook up, uh huh?

(audience laughing)

- Now Elvis, don't be cruel.

- Well, I, I, I forgive you, little fellow,

but the damage is already done.

We gotta be goin' now, Roberta.

I'm givin' a concert for my mama at the Pearly Gates.

I'm singin' live, if you'll pardon the expression.

(audience laughing)

- [Roberta And Elvis] Uh huh.

- Goodbye Samuel, and say goodbye to Hound Dog.

(bluesy music)

(audience laughing)

- Aw, I'm sorry, Mom, it was an accident.

(magical music)

It was an accident.

- Hey Screech, come on, don't worry.

We'll get another statue.

- Yeah right, where are we gonna buy another one

before my mom gets home?

- Honey, if it's for sale, I'll find it.

(audience laughing)

- Samuel, I'm truly sorry about last night,

and I'll understand if you never wanna speak to me again.

- Well, it wasn't your fault, Violet.

- Oh, that's so sweet of you!

(Violet snorting and laughing)

(audience laughing)

You're not like Maxwell at all.

I'm so glad we broke up.

- Oh, you broke up?

I mean, gee, too bad.

(audience laughing)

- Lisa's the name, shopping's the game.

Oh please, no applause.

- She found the Elvis statue.

- Great!

So, where is it?

- Still in the store, it costs 250 bucks.

- Where are we gonna get $250?

- We need to find somebody rich and quick.

- Violet Ann Bickerstaff. (snaps)

(Violet snapping)

- Snap all you want, Maxwell.

I'm, I am no longer you possession, mm.

- You blew it, babe, don't try crawlin' back.

(audience laughing)

(Violet groans)

- I wish someone would teach him a lesson!

- Oh, we're gonna teach him a lesson all right.

$250 lesson.

(upbeat music)

- Ladies and gentlemen, name of the game is five-card stud.

Some say they named it after me.

(audience laughing)

- Maxwell, you sure you've never played poker before?

- Well, maybe once or twice with my mommy.

(Maxwell laughing)

(audience laughing)

Full house, read 'em and weep.

- What?

- Oh man, you're too hot, Nerdstrom.

I'm out.

- Me too.

- Well here's a buck, babe, just for bein' beautiful.

(audience laughing)

- And here's a dirty look just for being alive.

(audience laughing)

(Hound Dog barking)

- Sounds like Hound Dog wants to come in.

- Uh, I'll go with you.

I love animals.

- Obviously.

(audience laughing)

- Zack, you can stop letting him win now.

- Hey, who's letting him win?

- Hey, why don't you just give him your money.

- Yeah, it'd be a lot quicker.

(Zack sighs)

- [Zack And Slater] Oh!

(Zack laughs)

- I'll bet 10 bucks, Maxwell.

- But that's all the money you have.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- [Girls] Oh!

- Very good.

- I'll see your 10 and raise you 50.

(Zack laughs)

- Guys, I need something worth 50 bucks.

- [All] Hmm?

- He's almost as cute as you are.

- Well, they say owners resemble their dogs.

- Why don't you bet the mutt, Morris.

- You can't bet Hound Dog.

- Screech, it's a sure thing.

- He can't lose.

- You guys sure?

Okay Zack, do it.

- Okay, Nerdstrom, the dog is worth more than 50 bucks.

I'll bet him against all your chips.

- But there's over $250 in here.

- What's the matter, chicken?

(girls mimic chickens clucking)

- I'm in, what do you have?

- Oh, beat four queens, Maxwell!

- Yeah, four ladies, right on!

- Wow, four queens,

that's the best hand we've had all night.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Until now.

Four kings.

- [Kelly] What?

- What?

- What?

- [Audience] Oh!

- So long, suckers.

(Maxwell chuckles)

- Screech, Screech, I'm sorry.

(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

Hey Screech, are you all right?

- No, you lost Hound Dog!

- It wasn't my fault.

- Hey Screech.

- It wasn't your fault?

Yeah right, maybe liver tastes good, huh?

(audience laughing)

- My mom is gonna kill me.

(phone ringing)

Yeah, what?

Oh, Mom.

(audience laughing)

- Samuel, is everything okay?

- No, I mean, yes.

- Oh good.

Let me say hi to Hound Dog.

- She wants to say hi to Hound Dog, what do I do?

- Uh, give me the phone.

- What?

(Zack mimics dog howling)

- Oh, there's my Hound Dog.

Mommy misses you.

Does you miss mommy?

(Zack mimics dog howling)

Oh good!

Now, put your big brother back on.

(Zack mimics dog howling)

- Okay.

(audience laughing)

- So, how's your trip, Mom?

- Oh, wonderful.

And what makes it even better

is knowing I can trust you with the house.

We're so proud.

Love ya tender!

(audience laughing)

(Zack sighs)

- She said she was proud of me.

I really messed up.

- Don't worry, you're not alone.

- You're right, I never could've messed up this much alone.

(audience laughing)

- Screech.

That does it.

Nerdstrom's gonna regret the day he met Zack Morris.

- Most of us already do.

(audience laughing)

(upbeat music)

- No Slater, don't do it!

- I'm gonna break him in two, Zack.

He took my buddy Screech's dog.

- No Slater, he won the dog fair and square.

Besides, you can get suspended for breakin' a nerd.

- Yeah, I don't care what they do to me.

Nerdstrom, listen to me, you better get me that dog or else.

- Get away from me or you'll be sorry.

- [Alarm] Bully alert, bully alert!

- It's the latest thing in dweeb defense.

- [Alarm] Bully alert!

- Belding!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What is going on here?

- Uh, (laughs) nothing, sir.

Maxwell's nerd alarm--

- It went off by accident.

It's sensitive.

- Yeah, well that's not what it looks like to me.

- Maxwell, are these two harassing you?

Don't be afraid to speak out, son.

I'm here to protect geeks.

(audience laughing)

Guys like you.

- These fine lads were telling the truth, sir.

(Maxwell laughs)

Thanks for helping, fellas.

- Oh!

- No problem.

- Well, okay, if you say so.

Just remember, I'm gonna be watching you guys.

(all laughing)

- Okay Maxwell, why didn't you turn us in?

- There's something I want more than that mangy mutt.

- How 'bout a lifetime pass to the Hollywood Earwax Museum.

(audience laughing)

- Tempting, but I'd rather swap the dog

for a date with Legs.

- The dog for Jessie?

- Hey, wait a second, she is not gonna like this, Preppy.

- Yeah, she's gonna hate this.

- [Both] Let's do it.

(audience laughing)

- Face it, if we don't get another statue,

Screech is dead.

- See, it's not so bad.

(audience laughing)

- Well, there's only one thing to do.

We'll just have a party.

- Only you would think of having a party

at a time like this.

- And only I would charge 10 bucks a head to get in.

- Brilliant idea, Preppy.

- (laughs) Kelly, Lisa, go spread the word.

Screech's house, seven o'clock.

- Right. - I'll get

the cheerleading squad to help.

P-A-R-T-Y at Screech's!

- Girl, you have got to get a life.

(audience laughing)

- Well, what can I do?

- Well, you can help us figure out

how to get Screech's dog back.

- I'll do anything to help.

- Well, that's good because Nerdstrom said

he'd give the dog back if you go on a date with him.

- And you told him no, right?

Right?

(Zack chuckles)

- Come on, Jessie, look,

all you have to do is show up with him at the party,

and once we get the dog back, you can just ditch him.

- Oh, no, no, no,

I refuse to go out with that postnasal drip.

(audience laughing)

- Okay, but you can tell Screech

he'll never see his dog again.

- Hey Screech, can we get you anything?

A coke, some fries, a hot dog?

- Dog! (sobbing)

(audience laughing)

- So what if they've had him since he was a cuddly puppy.

- Puppy!

- All right, one date,

but Nerdstrom better keep his paws to himself.

- Paws!

(audience laughing)

- Hey guys.

How's the save Screech's tushy fund comin'?

- Great, we almost have enough for the statue.

- Right on!

(audience laughing)

- Hey buds, righteous shindig, eh?

(Maxwell snapping)

- Just get the dog, so I can lose Mr. Toxic Waste.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, we had a deal.

Where's the dog?

(Maxwell blows raspberry)

- I'm no fool.

I give you the dog now, then Spano splits.

So, one of my buddies is keeping the canine company

until I give him the signal.

Ah, come along, my tall treasure.

Let's a rocka till we droppa.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, I hear one you go geek, you never go back.

(audience laughing)

All right.

- Have fun.

- Aw, cute couple.

- Zack, we did it, we have enough money to get the statue!

- All right!

Go!

(upbeat music)

- Help me!

Save me!

- Poor Jessie, maybe we should help her out.

- Yeah, one of us should go over there

and dance with Nerdstrom.

Go ahead.

- Oh no, you go, you're a much better dancer.

- Bag it, we'll buy her lunch tomorrow.

- Yeah.

(audience laughing)

- All right, Nerdstrom, it's 10 o'clock.

Where's the dog?

- I'm a man of my word, Morris.

However, a date officially ends with a goodnight kiss.

- Yeah, well then kiss yourself and go home.

(audience laughing)

- Hound Dog, you're back!

- Come on, baby, where's my kiss?

- Oh.

- Well, all right, Nerdstrom.

It's only fair.

Close your eyes and pucker up.

Give me him!

(audience laughing)

- What a woman.

Now, I now what I've been missing with lame lips here.

- You can't talk to my girl like that, you squid!

You didn't even kiss Jessie, you kissed my dog!

And get out of my house!

(audience laughing)

- Oh Sammy, you're such a stud muffin.

I didn't know I was your girl.

- Neither did I, would you like to be?

- Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

- Wait.

Yeah, forget the rules!

(audience laughing)

- Uh, Screech, when are your parents supposed to be home?

- Sunday, why?

- Because they're here!

(everyone yelling)

- Zack, what are we gonna do?

The party and Slater's not back yet!

- Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, be cool, I'm always prepared, chill out.

- I'm home!

- Mom, you're early!

- Samuel, this looks like a party,

and that's a direct violation of rule 137.

- Uh, Zack, tell my mom why this looks like a party.

- Uh, because it is a party.

Happy anniversary!

- Oh, thank yoU!

- Come on, guys!

- [Everyone] Happy anniversary!

(everyone clapping)

- Hey, I got it, I got it!

(partiers screeching)

(tense music)

(triumphant music)

- Zachary.

- Yes, Mrs. Powers.

- There's something wrong with the statue.

- There is?

- Yes, Elvis likes to face the kitchen,

so he can watch me cook.

Now, let's boogie on down!

Uh huh!

(everyone cheering)

- Yeah! - Right on!

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)