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1
00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:03,060
(school bell rings)
2
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:04,500
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:05,930
♪ And the alarm
gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:08,900
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:08,910 --> 00:00:11,870
♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪
6
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,580
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
7
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,210
♪ It's all right ♪
8
00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:21,150
♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪
9
00:00:21,150 --> 00:00:24,020
♪ If the teacher pops a
test I know I'm in a mess ♪
10
00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:27,220
♪ And my dog ate all my
homework last night ♪
11
00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:30,090
♪ Ridin' low on my chair, she
won't know that I'm there ♪
12
00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:33,790
♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow it'll be all right ♪
13
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,460
♪ It's all right ♪
14
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:38,230
♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪
15
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,300
(lively rock music)
16
00:00:51,950 --> 00:00:54,980
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
17
00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:57,950
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
18
00:00:57,950 --> 00:01:02,790
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
19
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:18,010
- We just got report cards.
20
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:22,510
Jessie got all A's, her
parents bought her flowers.
21
00:01:22,510 --> 00:01:26,810
Kelly got B's, her parents
bought her an ice cream.
22
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,550
I haven't figured out what
to buy my parents yet.
23
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,890
But Lisa made honor roll,
24
00:01:32,890 --> 00:01:35,160
and you should see what
her father gave her.
25
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:37,960
- Where's Lisa?
26
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,130
I can't wait to
see her new outfit.
27
00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:40,060
- Me too.
28
00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:41,500
She's my reason for being.
29
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:44,800
- I cannot believe her father
gave her his credit card
30
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,970
to go to the mall.
31
00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:47,440
- I know.
32
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,170
It's like letting a vampire
loose in a blood bank.
33
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:52,070
- Watch it, Dimples.
34
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,010
That's my fox you're
talking about.
35
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,610
- Screech, she's not your fox.
36
00:01:57,610 --> 00:01:59,410
Why don't you just
find another chick?
37
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,150
- Whoa, may I remind you
both that we are girls?
38
00:02:02,150 --> 00:02:03,990
We are not foxes, not chicks,
39
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,150
nor any other cute little
animal you boys like.
40
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,320
Do you understand?
41
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,420
- Sure, Kitten.
42
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:13,060
- Food's here.
43
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:16,360
Compliments of my new
magic serving cart.
44
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,440
- [Zack] So where's
the magic, Max?
45
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,110
- Oh, it's, um, voila!
46
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:29,510
(audience whistling)
47
00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:30,350
- How do you like it?
48
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,850
- I love it, Lisa,
49
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,780
but didn't your father say
to just buy something nice?
50
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,080
- I couldn't help myself.
51
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,550
I caught such great sales.
52
00:02:36,550 --> 00:02:38,220
All my clothes were half-off.
53
00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:39,490
- Half-off?
54
00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:40,790
I can't take this tension.
55
00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:44,060
- Lisa, I think
you better total up
56
00:02:44,060 --> 00:02:45,660
everything you bought right now.
57
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:47,130
- Really?
58
00:02:47,130 --> 00:02:49,330
- I have a calculator
on my watch.
59
00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:51,470
You can use it if
you hold my wrist.
60
00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:52,670
- Screech, heel.
61
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,970
- Where are the receipts?
62
00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:55,770
- Here.
63
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:03,340
- $62 for the top, 126
for the jacket and shorts,
64
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:08,280
and 198 for the boots,
purse and Maneater perfume?
65
00:03:08,290 --> 00:03:10,150
- [Kelly] Come on,
what's the total?
66
00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:12,620
- 386.
67
00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:13,450
- $386?
68
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,320
You think I went overboard?
69
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,290
- Like the crew of the Titanic.
70
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:20,260
- This is serious.
71
00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:21,560
Lisa, when your
father finds out,
72
00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:23,060
you are gonna get in trouble.
73
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,200
- Oh come on.
74
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,270
I'm Daddy's little girl.
75
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,440
- If you want to live
to be Daddy's big girl,
76
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,770
take the stuff back.
77
00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:31,270
- Lisa, I think you
should keep one thing
78
00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:32,640
and return the rest.
79
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,940
- Well, maybe you're right.
80
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:35,410
I have to go back
to the mall anyway.
81
00:03:35,410 --> 00:03:37,080
They're having a big shoe sale.
82
00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,520
- I got here as soon as
I could, what's going on?
83
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,020
- Lisa's running away,
84
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:44,650
the store wouldn't let her
return her new clothes.
85
00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:45,920
- Oh.
86
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,320
Oh, Lisa, running
away isn't the answer.
87
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:50,290
Just do what I do when
I do something wrong.
88
00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,230
- What's that?
89
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:52,660
- Enjoy it, then deny it.
90
00:03:55,730 --> 00:03:59,070
- Lisa, when you do something
wrong, you should admit it.
91
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,540
- What do you do, Kelly?
92
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,070
- Well, gee, I can't remember
doing anything wrong.
93
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,940
- Oh, shut up!
94
00:04:09,150 --> 00:04:11,210
I'm sorry, I'm just upset.
95
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:13,880
- Lisa, no matter
what I've done,
96
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,250
I've always been direct
and honest with my parents.
97
00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:17,390
- I'm with Jessie.
98
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,420
The truth is easiest,
and it works.
99
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:21,220
- But I can't tell my father.
100
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,620
- Then why don't
you tell your mother
101
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,390
and pay her to keep quiet?
102
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:25,290
- Pay her with what?
103
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:26,160
- Put it on the card.
104
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,160
Why stop now?
105
00:04:29,070 --> 00:04:32,100
- Lisa, why can't
you tell your father?
106
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:34,640
- Because I don't
know how he'll react.
107
00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:38,510
(fantasy music)
108
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:40,610
(knocking)
109
00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:41,440
Come in.
110
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:43,650
- Hi, sweetheart.
111
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:44,910
- Hi, Daddy.
112
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,420
- What did you want
to talk to me about?
113
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,120
- Daddy, I don't
know what to do.
114
00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:51,650
I've made a big mistake.
115
00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:55,790
- Oh, I'm sure it's
not that bad, princess.
116
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:57,020
Tell your father.
117
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:57,960
He knows best.
118
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:00,860
- Okay.
119
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:05,600
Daddy, I've run up a $400
bill on your credit card.
120
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,040
(thunder crashing)
121
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,170
- You what?
(haunting music)
122
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:11,140
- I'm sorry.
123
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,440
- Who's the worst
daughter of all?
124
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,110
- Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!
125
00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:24,890
- You, are a father's
worst nightmare.
126
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:27,790
(thunder crashing)
127
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,290
- What's happened to me?
128
00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:35,760
I'm not Daddy's
little girl anymore.
129
00:05:39,470 --> 00:05:42,070
(fantasy music)
130
00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:43,970
He's gonna kill me, I know it.
131
00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:45,240
- Lisa, don't panic.
132
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,310
All you have to do is
pay your father back.
133
00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:49,640
- Yeah, but where am
I gonna get the money?
134
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,480
- Ask for a $400 advance
on your allowance.
135
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,550
- Why don't you try
to earn the money?
136
00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:56,080
- Earn money?
137
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,350
Moi?
138
00:05:57,350 --> 00:06:00,420
- This sounds like
a job for Zackman.
139
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:05,430
(triumphant music)
(audience cheering)
140
00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:07,330
- Do you really think
we're gonna make
141
00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:08,600
a lot of money today?
142
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,960
- Hey, we're gonna be
raking it in all day.
143
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,200
Starting now.
144
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,670
- How?
145
00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:15,370
- Lisa, just sit down,
look pretty and trust me.
146
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,470
Hey guys come on, crowd
around, crowd around.
147
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,610
Grab one of these.
148
00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:22,940
(chattering)
149
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,010
(school bell rings)
150
00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:28,250
- Okay, settle down.
151
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:29,680
Good morning, class.
152
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,120
- [Students] Good morning.
153
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,390
- We'll resume where
we left off yesterday.
154
00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:34,620
You all know the chapter.
155
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:36,690
- You mean Reproduction
in the Animal Kingdom?
156
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:39,860
- Well, I prefer to call it,
Monkey Business in the Jungle.
157
00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:42,930
- I read the chapter last night,
158
00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:46,600
but I'm still not clear who
does what to whom and how.
159
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,640
- Yeah, and how come birds
aren't attracted to horses?
160
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,070
- Oh, but they are.
161
00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:54,280
Unfortunately there just
isn't enough room in the nest.
162
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:01,520
Today's topic is, The
Pond: Nature's Hot Tub.
163
00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:04,180
- Could you write
on the board again,
164
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,550
your list of Pond
Playmates of the Month?
165
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,490
- All right, we'll
start with the Beatles,
166
00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,390
and then throw in
some Rolling Stones.
167
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,160
Does anyone know the sound
168
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,230
that the male frog makes
to attract the female?
169
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,070
(shrieks)
170
00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:22,640
No, no, that's the
little boy porcupine
171
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,140
getting too close to his mate.
172
00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:27,480
The male frog goes.
173
00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:32,010
(imitating frog croaking)
174
00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:38,990
That's merely his way of
saying, your pad or mine?
175
00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,790
Now, insect love
on the other hand,
176
00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,620
can be very, very dangerous.
177
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:45,530
An unwelcome suitor
is often driven off
178
00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:47,060
by terrifying threats.
179
00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:50,430
- Get away, creeps!
180
00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:52,600
- Oh, no, much worse than that.
181
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,230
Like.
182
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,640
(screeching)
183
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:00,340
Try it, try it.
184
00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:03,080
(all screeching)
185
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,180
Oh, very good, very good.
186
00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:07,350
Excellent.
187
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,280
That is wonderful, wonderful.
188
00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:11,390
You really have it.
189
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:12,550
(P.A. signal beeps)
190
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,920
- Good morning, students.
191
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,990
This is your
principal, Mr. Belding.
192
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:17,890
(students groaning)
193
00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:18,730
Thank you.
194
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:22,100
I just want to remind you,
195
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,470
that our school charity
drive will continue all week.
196
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:27,700
So please put all clothing
and canned goods in the gym,
197
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:31,470
and not on top of my car, no
matter what Zack Morris says.
198
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,710
(students laughing)
199
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:37,550
It's also time for our
annual earthquake drill.
200
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:41,380
Yes, when that siren sounds,
201
00:08:41,380 --> 00:08:43,750
get down, 'cause there'll be.
202
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:47,960
♪ A whole lot of
shakin' goin' on ♪
203
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,790
(audience laughing)
204
00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:53,860
(siren wails)
205
00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:56,060
- All right, everybody,
climb under your tables,
206
00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:57,670
like burrowing badgers.
207
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,040
- [Screech] Lisa!
208
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,470
(mysterious music)
209
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,910
(Lisa gasps)
210
00:09:07,910 --> 00:09:08,910
(mysterious music)
211
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,080
(Lisa gasps)
212
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:11,910
(mysterious music)
213
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,080
(Lisa gasps)
214
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:13,920
(mysterious music)
215
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:14,750
(Lisa gasps)
216
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:17,750
(mysterious music)
217
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:20,490
(Lisa screams)
218
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:22,860
- How could you do this to me?
219
00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:25,930
- Hey Lisa, I thought you wanted
to kiss your debt goodbye.
220
00:09:25,930 --> 00:09:27,860
- Not with my lips.
221
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,770
I feel so, so cheap.
222
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,530
- Lisa, you're not cheap.
223
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,370
You made $36.
224
00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:37,610
So I just have to press
this button to open them?
225
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,510
- That's all, I
wired everything.
226
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:41,440
- Are you sure I have
nothing to worry about?
227
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,780
- You might lose your
hair when you're older.
228
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,550
- I mean now, how
about now, you yo-yo?
229
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:47,880
- You're too young to
lose it now, dipstick!
230
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,620
- Zack, do we really
have to do this?
231
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,790
- Lisa, we only have
2 1/2 days left.
232
00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:55,990
If you want to raise money,
233
00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:57,390
you'll have to
sell your clothes.
234
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,060
All right, you guys
know what to do.
235
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:02,560
- Don't worry about it, preppie.
236
00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:04,030
We'll take care of Belding.
237
00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:10,270
- All right everybody,
238
00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:14,240
the Lisa special sale
is about to begin.
239
00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:18,650
(lockers clanking)
240
00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:22,550
Okay, what am I bid for
this lovely lingerie?
241
00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:25,450
Worn by Lisa while
dreaming of Screech.
242
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,790
- My entire life savings!
243
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:28,760
- [Zack] Sold!
244
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,120
- It's only $2.
245
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,660
- $2?
246
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:32,730
That cost 20!
247
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:36,760
- It'll lie next to me
every night in my bed.
248
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,970
- I thought you
slept with your dog.
249
00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:39,870
- He won't mind.
250
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,970
- Okay, how much am I bid
for these cowboy boots?
251
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,640
Almost brand new.
252
00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:52,710
Worn only once by Lisa while
she was watching a rodeo on TV.
253
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:53,780
- $6.
254
00:10:53,780 --> 00:10:54,720
- Sold!
255
00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:57,520
How much am I bid
for the left one?
256
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:58,690
- $4.
257
00:10:58,690 --> 00:10:59,590
- You got it!
258
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,290
That's what I call
a matching pair.
259
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:07,830
Okay, how much am
I bid for this wig?
260
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:11,070
Worn by Lisa during
her Tina Turner phase.
261
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,530
- [Rocco] $4!
262
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:14,640
- Sold to Rocco.
263
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,700
No questions asked.
264
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,240
- Hey, Belding is coming.
265
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,070
- Closing 'em!
266
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:23,580
(lockers clanking)
267
00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:24,950
Hi, Mr. Belding.
268
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,150
- Hello, Morris.
269
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:27,850
- He's on to us, Zack,
I know we're dead.
270
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:29,080
- Hi, Screech.
271
00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:30,420
- Hello, goodbye,
let's do lunch.
272
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,960
- Hmm.
273
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,660
- Gone.
274
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,460
- Let the sale resume!
275
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,630
(lockers clanking)
276
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:43,460
- Belding!
277
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,770
He's back!
278
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,600
- Closing 'em.
279
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,470
(lockers clanking)
280
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,310
- Are you hiding
something, Zachary?
281
00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:54,470
- Me?
- Uh-huh.
282
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,280
- Well, uh--
- Mr. Belding, sir,
283
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,980
uh, I need your opinion.
284
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,250
I was wondering, what
do you think of this?
285
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:02,180
- It's all right, I guess.
286
00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:03,450
Is it for your girlfriend?
287
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:04,950
- No, sir, it's for me.
288
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,220
I'd like to wear it
to school tomorrow.
289
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:12,130
Come into my office,
young lady, Slater.
290
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,160
(slaps)
291
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,000
Now.
292
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:19,530
So, you think moving
from school to school
293
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,870
has caused an identity crisis?
294
00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:23,800
- I'm not sure who
I am anymore, sir.
295
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,210
All I know is that
I'm a size six.
296
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:29,710
- I would have guessed a 12.
297
00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:32,550
- I'm confused, sir.
298
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:36,150
You know, maybe I'm trying too
hard to get girls to like me.
299
00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:38,220
- Hey, now I can
identify with that.
300
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,860
This may come as
a surprise to you,
301
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:45,990
but when I was
your age, I wasn't,
302
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,930
well, you know,
the hunk I am now.
303
00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:51,530
(chuckling)
304
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:53,770
- I can't believe this, sir.
305
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:56,300
No, I thought you
were stud city.
306
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,610
- Everybody thinks that.
307
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:02,140
No, I never had a date
until I was in the Army.
308
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,980
And even she was with the enemy.
309
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,280
- Tell me more.
310
00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:11,790
- In high school,
I was such a geek.
311
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,620
I had to go to the prom
with my own sister.
312
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:14,920
I was so embarrassed.
313
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:18,760
- Let it out, big guy.
314
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:20,800
Lean on me.
315
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:24,900
- Attention shoppers,
for two minutes only,
316
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,800
The Lisa beach collection,
317
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,240
what the well-dressed teenager
will be wearing this summer.
318
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,340
Screech, hit it.
319
00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:35,010
(lively music)
320
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,810
And now for the
beautiful and enchanting.
321
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,320
Kelly, goddess of the sand.
322
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:49,020
(whistling)
(applauding)
323
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,230
Oh my gosh, she's
in a bathing suit!
324
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,530
Bidding is open.
325
00:13:57,530 --> 00:13:58,370
Bidding is closed.
326
00:13:58,370 --> 00:13:59,500
Sold to me for $12.
327
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,630
Thank you, Kelly.
328
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,570
Go get dressed, stay
away from these animals.
329
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,440
- After the war, I
was dateless again.
330
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:10,140
That Viet Cong girl dumped me.
331
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:14,450
But then I went to college
332
00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:16,950
and met the future Mrs. Belding.
333
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:19,620
See, she was on the swim
team, and I was a towel boy.
334
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:24,230
I tripped, hit my head,
fell into the water.
335
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,530
She saved my life.
336
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:29,530
- Wow, that's a
beautiful story, sir.
337
00:14:29,530 --> 00:14:31,670
- I'll never forget
her first words to me,
338
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:33,100
"Don't swallow your tongue."
339
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:37,270
(intercom buzzing)
340
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,470
Yes?
341
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,440
- [Woman] Mr. Belding,
maintenance wants you
342
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,780
in the boys' bathroom.
343
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,440
Someone flushed Mr.
Fetterman's toupee.
344
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:47,710
- I'll be right there.
345
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:49,950
- Wait!
346
00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:54,050
- What's going on here?
347
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:58,790
- Oh, we're just standing
around doing macho guy stuff
348
00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:01,200
next to a bunch of
women's clothes.
349
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,660
- Whose are these, anyway?
350
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,630
- Uh, Lisa's sir.
351
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:06,300
I helped her bring
them to school today.
352
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,500
- Yeah, Lisa needs
to get rid of them.
353
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,470
- This is the most generous act
354
00:15:10,470 --> 00:15:12,940
I have ever witnessed
at this school.
355
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:16,710
Imagine, one person donating
all this to our clothing drive.
356
00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:17,910
- [Zack] But, sir!
357
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:20,180
- And you of all
people helping her.
358
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,520
- I'm getting chills, brother.
359
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,780
- I'm getting sweats.
360
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,650
- You know what?
361
00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:26,390
Lisa has done enough.
362
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:28,720
Let's all take this to
the gym for her, huh?
363
00:15:33,460 --> 00:15:36,160
- We only made $53
selling Lisa's clothes,
364
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,630
so she had to do the most
humiliating, insulting,
365
00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:42,100
degrading thing possible
for her, get a job.
366
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:42,970
How's she doing?
367
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:48,410
(clattering)
368
00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:49,780
Let me put it another way,
369
00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:52,050
if Lisa were a car,
she'd be recalled.
370
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:55,080
- I'm sorry, Max.
371
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,150
- That's okay, it's only the
third tray you've dropped.
372
00:15:57,150 --> 00:15:58,890
Don't worry about it.
373
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,120
See?
374
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,460
I had the kitchen
Velcro your orders.
375
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:05,290
- Thanks.
376
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,030
- So, did you get more tips?
377
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,300
- Yeah, I got a tip.
378
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,760
Alan Seltzer told me
to get another job.
379
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,900
- Waitress, can I
have a glass of water?
380
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,070
- Get it yourself!
381
00:16:15,070 --> 00:16:16,000
- Lisa, you're a waitress.
382
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:17,540
You have to wait on people.
383
00:16:17,540 --> 00:16:20,110
- Zack, he just wants
to soak his retainer.
384
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,680
- Waitress!
385
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,040
- How can I work with all
these people bothering me?
386
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,350
- So what's the total?
387
00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:35,060
- Well, so far Lisa's
earned $3.10 in tips.
388
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,820
- [Kelly] Who gave
you the 10 cents?
389
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,590
- Everybody gave me 10 cents.
390
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:40,830
- Waitress!
391
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,030
- What is it?
392
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:44,660
- Would you bring
me a hamburger?
393
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,900
- I already brought you 10.
394
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,830
- I want to give you business.
395
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,700
I like you.
396
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,610
- Thank you.
397
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:52,470
- Waitress!
398
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,710
Where's my Ovaltine?
399
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:58,210
- Miss, this isn't
what I ordered.
400
00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:00,010
You were supposed
to toast my buns.
401
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,580
- You want toasted buns?
402
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:04,150
Go sit on a microwave!
403
00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:04,990
That's it!
404
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:05,990
I've had it!
405
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,990
- Hey, hey, what's wrong?
406
00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:11,630
- I'll never make any
money at this rate.
407
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,260
- Well then, you've
got to move faster.
408
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,590
Look, the more
people you wait on,
409
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,930
the more tips you get, right?
410
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:17,730
Come on Lisa, I'll show you.
411
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:19,400
I used to be a
busboy in Bolivia.
412
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,540
- Hey, I'm not done!
413
00:17:25,410 --> 00:17:26,810
- Yes you are.
414
00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:31,810
- Right, I forgot.
415
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:34,750
- Hey, what are you doing?
416
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,080
- Hey, it's fast food.
417
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,020
- [Lisa] Here's your check.
418
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,650
- Hey, come on you guys.
419
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,190
Come on, move it.
420
00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:45,130
(energetic music)
421
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:03,010
- $37 in tips in three hours?
422
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:03,840
Woo!
423
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:04,780
I can't believe it!
424
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:05,750
- Lisa, that's great.
425
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,680
You only need about 230 more.
426
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,420
- We're a great team.
427
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:11,090
You know, we might
make it after all.
428
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,620
- Yeah, maybe.
429
00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:16,090
I mean if I keep working, and
Zack sells more of my clothes.
430
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:18,160
- Uh, Lisa?
431
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,760
Can we talk?
432
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,260
Over there?
433
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:22,100
- Yeah, sure.
434
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:29,270
- Lisa, all your
clothes are gone.
435
00:18:29,270 --> 00:18:30,100
- Gone?
436
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,000
That's great!
437
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,510
- Not really.
438
00:18:32,510 --> 00:18:34,540
Belding thought you brought
them in for the charity drive.
439
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:35,740
He was so touched
by your donation,
440
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,240
I couldn't tell him the truth.
441
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,650
(laughing)
442
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:48,120
- I'm a fool, Zack.
443
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:48,960
- No, I am.
444
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,190
Look, I'm sorry, Lisa.
445
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,430
I'll tell Belding
it was all my fault
446
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:52,830
and I'll get your stuff back.
447
00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:53,760
- No, Zack.
448
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,460
I want to make that donation.
449
00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:58,830
It's about time I start thinking
of someone besides myself.
450
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:00,800
And I'm gonna tell
my father the truth.
451
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,270
- Now Lisa, don't panic.
452
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,640
- Zack, if my father
finds out what I've done
453
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,640
before I tell him, he's
gonna be really hurt.
454
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:11,780
- Then maybe you'd
better tell your father.
455
00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:13,310
I see this is hurting you, too.
456
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,080
- I want to thank you
for all you've done.
457
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,620
I'm really grateful for
everything you tried to do.
458
00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:22,390
But I've got to stand
on my own two feet now.
459
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:25,460
And it's not gonna be easy
with all my shoes gone.
460
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:27,490
(tender music)
461
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,700
(knocking)
462
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:30,530
Come in.
463
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,670
- You wanted to talk
to me, princess?
464
00:19:34,670 --> 00:19:38,440
- I'm not a princess, I'm not
a nice person, I'm pond scum!
465
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,510
- What are you talking about?
466
00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:43,110
- Remember when you
gave me your credit card
467
00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:44,040
to buy something nice?
468
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,280
I bought 10 nice somethings.
469
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,780
- Are you saying you charged
too much on my credit card?
470
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:52,290
- $386 too much.
471
00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:53,850
- I'd say that's too much, yes.
472
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,390
- I'm sorry, Daddy.
473
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,690
- We all make
mistakes, sweetheart.
474
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,530
I'm sure you've
learned your lesson.
475
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:03,960
Now, let's go to The Sizzler.
476
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,530
- The Sizzler?
477
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,370
After all I've been through?
478
00:20:08,370 --> 00:20:11,210
(haunting music)
479
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,650
Daddy, I was kissed by nerds!
480
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:24,150
And I sold all my clothes!
481
00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:27,350
And I got a job, as a waitress!
482
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,890
- My daughter waited on tables?
483
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,030
- Yeah, here's $153.
484
00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:34,530
That's what I've made so far.
485
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:39,270
- It sounds like you've
been through a lot.
486
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,470
- Daddy, punish me.
487
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,000
Get it over with.
488
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,640
I just want to be treated like
any normal, beautiful girl.
489
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,140
- I've got a better idea.
490
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:51,480
You're gonna keep that job
491
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,410
until you pay me
back every last cent.
492
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,620
(knocking)
493
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:56,420
- Come in.
494
00:20:57,650 --> 00:20:59,190
- Excuse me, Dr. Turtle.
495
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,490
We came by to give this to Lisa.
496
00:21:00,490 --> 00:21:01,460
- What is it?
497
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,620
- $83.
498
00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:03,860
We all chipped in.
499
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:06,030
Screech even sold
his body to science.
500
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:08,600
- Yeah, they gave him
$20 to take it back.
501
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,670
- You have some loyal friends.
502
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:14,030
You are a very lucky girl.
503
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,440
- Thanks, you
guys, you're great.
504
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,640
But I can't take this.
505
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,970
I've got to earn back
the money myself,
506
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:20,870
or he'll ship me to
a foreign country.
507
00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:23,910
- It'll never happen.
508
00:21:23,910 --> 00:21:25,850
No foreign country
could afford her.
509
00:21:31,350 --> 00:21:33,090
- The moral of the story, gang?
510
00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:38,090
Well, it's simple, the Lisa
Card, don't leave home with it.
511
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:41,560
(lively rock music)
512
00:21:44,530 --> 00:21:47,600
(lively rock music)
35214
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