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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,339 - guys with kids 2 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,339 Is taped 3 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:11,110 In front 4 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:11,110 Of a live studio audience. 5 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:13,947 - [groans] 6 00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:20,987 Gary? 7 00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:24,290 - [grunts] 8 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,559 [groans] 9 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,395 I hurt everywhere. 10 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:31,731 Marny, last night, 11 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:31,731 I fell asleep on the floor 12 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:34,701 And used a rotisserie chicken 13 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:34,701 As a pillow. 14 00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:37,437 - what did we do? 15 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,707 - last thing I remember, I-- 16 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,707 I climbed the christmas tree, 17 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:46,579 And when it fell over, 18 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:46,579 I tried to ride it like a bull. 19 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,150 - oh, gary. 20 00:00:49,490 --> 00:00:50,417 Gary. 21 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,818 - huh? 22 00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:54,387 - I think 23 00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:54,387 I'm gonna die. 24 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:57,590 - where are our children? 25 00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:01,428 - oh, I'm pretty sure we 26 00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:01,428 Left them with nick and emily. 27 00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,596 - oh, come on, baby, 28 00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,596 These are things we should know. 29 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,865 - no. 30 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,865 No, no, no. 31 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,600 We went over there last night 32 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,600 To pick them up, 33 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,700 And they said 34 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,700 That they would keep them. 35 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,805 Oh, my god. 36 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,441 Oh, I hope 37 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,441 We didn't embarrass ourselves. 38 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,343 - oh, impossible. 39 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:19,479 I don't get drunk. 40 00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,481 I get awesome. 41 00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:25,385 [knocks on door] 42 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:30,900 Hold on! 43 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:31,890 - here are your children. 44 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,195 - here is your bra. 45 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:41,101 - uh, can I get you guys 46 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:41,101 Some coffee or something? 47 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,469 - after what happened 48 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,469 Last night? 49 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,804 We are so not talking 50 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,804 To you. 51 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,271 - awesome! 52 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:49,342 Someone threw up 53 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:49,342 In my bed! 54 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:54,514 - when are nick 55 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:54,514 And emily coming? 56 00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:56,348 Emily's bringing the crackers, 57 00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:56,348 All I have is cheese. 58 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,851 This is madness. 59 00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,419 - they should be here 60 00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,419 Any minute. 61 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:00,854 They were just taking 62 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:00,854 Their christmas card picture. 63 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,255 - you know, last year 64 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,255 They were dressed 65 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,757 As reindeer 66 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,757 Pulling santa's sleigh 67 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,291 With a caption that read, 68 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,760 "It's raining deer. 69 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,461 Hallelujah, 70 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,461 It's raining deer." 71 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:13,500 - there is no way they can 72 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:13,500 Sustain the level of cuteness. 73 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:16,336 - hi, everyone! 74 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:19,506 - yet they do. 75 00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:22,409 - * life is 76 00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:22,409 How you live it * 77 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,310 - * ooh * 78 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,846 - * wake up 79 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,846 Where you want to be * 80 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,515 - * hey, hey * 81 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,517 - * you and me * 82 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,517 - * ooh * 83 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:33,286 - * we're happy * 84 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:33,286 - * ooh, hey * 85 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,789 - * we need our friends 86 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,789 Like the sun * 87 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,357 - * everybody singin' * 88 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,460 - * why would you walk 89 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,460 When you can run? * 90 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:41,995 * everybody singin' * 91 00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:44,264 * why would you walk 92 00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:44,264 When you can run? * 93 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,834 - I know 94 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,834 There's been some talk 95 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,337 That I could not pull off 96 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,337 Green velvet. 97 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:54,774 I think we can all agree 98 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:54,774 I've put those rumors to rest. 99 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,776 - hi, sorry I'm late. 100 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,611 I was just trying to finish up 101 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,611 My holiday shopping. 102 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,447 - shopping. Huh. 103 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,150 I thought you just stole all 104 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,150 The presents out of whoville. 105 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:08,355 - so pimp, leprechaun, 106 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:08,355 Or both? 107 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,727 - remember what we got 108 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,727 Each other last year? 109 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,564 - I do, a divorce. 110 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,564 - yeah. 111 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:19,733 - oh, okay. 112 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:19,733 Tell it again, chris. Please? 113 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,501 Okay, I will set the stage. 114 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,304 They just had a baby, hoping it 115 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,304 Would repair their marriage. 116 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,740 It didn't. 117 00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:30,410 And...Go. 118 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,978 - I remember it 119 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,978 Like it was yesterday. 120 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,414 We were getting ready 121 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,414 For my office christmas party. 122 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,683 You were complaining 123 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,683 About how you hated my tie. 124 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:37,650 - yes. 125 00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:41,221 - grinding my spirit 126 00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:41,221 Down to a fine powder. 127 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,890 - and then sheila said... 128 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,591 - if that's the way you feel-- 129 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,591 - no, no, no. 130 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,762 I do a much better you than you, 131 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,762 Apparently. 132 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:53,600 - [deep, raspy voice] 133 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:53,600 If that's the way you feel... 134 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:57,337 Then maybe we just 135 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:57,337 Shouldn't be together. 136 00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:01,341 - nick! 137 00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:01,341 - nick! 138 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,275 [normal voice] 139 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,275 But your divorce 140 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,678 Was the best christmas gift 141 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,678 Of all time. 142 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:07,947 - except for the christmas gift 143 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:07,947 You got me last year. 144 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,784 He saved a memento of every date 145 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,784 We've ever been on, 146 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,352 And he made me 147 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,352 A scrapbook of them. 148 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,621 So romantic. 149 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:17,570 - he's so desperate. 150 00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:20,860 - you jest, big g, but don't 151 00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:20,860 Look too deeply into my eyes 152 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,496 Because you may 153 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,496 Just fall in love. 154 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:27,670 - well, gary and I 155 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:27,670 Definitely went all-out 156 00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:29,102 With our present 157 00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:29,102 To each other this year. 158 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,470 - oh, my god, you guys 159 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,272 Are finally taking 160 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,272 That trip to paris? 161 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:33,473 - better. 162 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:34,874 Both: 163 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:34,874 We got a new dishwasher! 164 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,777 - come see, come see! 165 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,777 [laughs] 166 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,648 - oh, I'll just see 167 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,648 From afar. 168 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,840 - shh, listen, listen, 169 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,840 It's running right now. 170 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,252 You can't even hear it. 171 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,252 - oh. 172 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,620 - I can hear it. 173 00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:48,888 - what? 174 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,124 - well, I have, 175 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,124 Like, super hearing, yeah. 176 00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:52,492 During college, 177 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:55,695 At my one-man show, 178 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:55,695 chris: just a guy, 179 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,697 I was actually able 180 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,697 To hear somebody 181 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:03,360 All the way in the back row 182 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:03,360 Whisper, "Wonderful." 183 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,505 - but this 184 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,505 Isn't romantic. 185 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,308 - oh, the thought of not having 186 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,308 To rinse everything 187 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,809 Before putting it 188 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,809 In the dishwasher? 189 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,946 [laughs] 190 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,946 That gets me hot. 191 00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:15,480 - no, this stops now. 192 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,516 I am staging 193 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,516 An intervention. 194 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,284 My christmas present 195 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,284 To you guys this year 196 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,120 Is to help you 197 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,120 Spice up your marriage. 198 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,488 - well, thank you, 199 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:23,156 But we're fine. 200 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:23,156 - mm-hmm. 201 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,125 - hey, you know, guys, I still 202 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,125 Have a couple dvd copies 203 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:29,620 Of my one-man show, 204 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:29,620 chris: just a guy. 205 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,330 We should make 206 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,330 A night of it. 207 00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:31,498 - yeah, 208 00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:31,498 the daily northwestern 209 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:35,568 Called it "Unnecessary." 210 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:35,568 - [laughs] 211 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:41,341 - oh, good, 212 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:41,341 The idiot's not here. 213 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,770 - oh, yes, he is! 214 00:05:44,770 --> 00:05:45,545 - fine. 215 00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,647 Look, after dinner, 216 00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,647 I started thinking 217 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,582 About how it's been a year since 218 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,582 We decided to get divorced, 219 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,753 And, well, 220 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,753 I think it's only right 221 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,722 If I give you back 222 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,722 Our engagement ring. 223 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,624 - oh, great. 224 00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,920 Now we have to travel 225 00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,920 To mordor 226 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,270 And throw it 227 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,270 In the fires of mount doom. 228 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:04,640 - but, sheila, 229 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:04,640 I gave it to you 230 00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:07,667 As a symbol 231 00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:07,667 Of my undying love, which died. 232 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,170 - chris, just take it. 233 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,380 You know I always win. 234 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,873 You're gonna wind up 235 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,873 With it eventually. 236 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,542 - not taking it, 237 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,542 Sheila. 238 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,944 - [sighs] 239 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,944 Fine. 240 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,481 I will be the mature one 241 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,481 And keep the ring. 242 00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:24,351 Think fast. 243 00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:24,351 No backsies. 244 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,187 - you give me that ring, 245 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,187 Frodo. 246 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:30,457 It's much too powerful. 247 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,394 - hey, guys. 248 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,562 - violet, go have fun. 249 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:36,696 Don't play 250 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:36,696 With those little punks 251 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,132 Who climb up the slide. 252 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,600 - so what did you guys 253 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,600 Do last night? 254 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:43,536 - actually, 255 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:43,536 You'll like this. 256 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,805 We had a little bit of a date. 257 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,805 - yeah. 258 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,808 We sat in bed 259 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,808 And read to each other. Happy? 260 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,143 - aw, I love that. 261 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,411 What did you guys read? 262 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,179 - the dishwasher manual. 263 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,848 - cover to cover. 264 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,650 Turns out I know more portuguese 265 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,650 Than I thought. 266 00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,152 - you're right, honey. 267 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:00,754 Their marriage 268 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:00,754 Has stalled. 269 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,230 - would you stop that? 270 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,230 - I can't! 271 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,191 I see you turning 272 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,191 Into my parents. 273 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,227 It starts with getting 274 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,227 Each other appliances, 275 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,620 And then you spend 276 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,620 The next 40 years in a rut, 277 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:10,730 Falling asleep 278 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:10,730 In front of the tv. 279 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,990 - daddy? 280 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,801 - is his foot stuck? 281 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,604 Is it stuck? 282 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,640 Is it stuck? 283 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,209 - look, emily, 284 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,209 We are not in a rut, okay? 285 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,544 We're fine. 286 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,146 We go on plenty of dates. 287 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,146 - mm-hmm. 288 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,747 - oh, like what? 289 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,249 - we returned that stepladder 290 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,249 To home warehouse. 291 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,520 - mm-hmm. 292 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,520 - we had a hot dog outside. 293 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,787 - hot dog combo outside. 294 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,822 - and before that... 295 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,257 - we took in 296 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,257 Some jazz music 297 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,659 In the waiting room 298 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,659 Of the boys' pediatrician. 299 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,829 - pretzel guy's here. 300 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,831 - look, let me plan 301 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,831 A real date for you. 302 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:46,466 I'm kind of an expert 303 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:46,466 At this. 304 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,268 - we don't need you 305 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,268 To plan our dates. 306 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,769 - guys, 307 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,769 Spending your friday nights 308 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,237 Watching people get murdered 309 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,237 on dateline 310 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,239 Is not a date. 311 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,642 - fine. 312 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,642 Then will you leave us alone? 313 00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,310 - I promise. 314 00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,310 - daddy? 315 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,612 Can I have a jungle gym 316 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,612 For christmas? 317 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,150 - sure, you know, 318 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,150 You can have this jungle gym, 319 00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:04,284 And we'll just keep it here. 320 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,253 - get off my jungle gym! 321 00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:15,795 - okay, ernie, 322 00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:15,795 You getting ready? 323 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,230 [pop goes the weaselplays] 324 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,230 Because this is gonna be fun. 325 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,732 He is gonna just pop out. 326 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:22,302 * * 327 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,737 Here it comes. 328 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,737 Yeah? 329 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,740 Here it comes. 330 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,408 Any second now. 331 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,510 Just any second now. 332 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,279 This is--does not 333 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,279 Usually take this long. 334 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:37,751 I don't know 335 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:37,751 What's happening. 336 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,519 What is happening-- 337 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,519 Oh! 338 00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:44,524 Oh... 339 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,793 Oh, ernie. 340 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,795 Once again, 341 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,795 Your father has chosen 342 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:53,990 The wrong person to engage. 343 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,435 [a holly jolly christmas 344 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,435 Plays] 345 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,670 - oh. 346 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,738 Urgent. 347 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,738 Sweet. 348 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:06,813 * * 349 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,686 Oh, lookit. 350 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,421 Here. 351 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,557 Ready? Ready? 352 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,557 [dog barks] 353 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,693 Whee. 354 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,331 [dog barks] 355 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,945 Hey. 356 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,518 - so... 357 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:48,588 This is nick and emily's 358 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:48,588 Favorite winter date. 359 00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:51,591 - yeah, it's a lovely night out 360 00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:51,591 For a carriage ride. 361 00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:53,760 - mm-hmm. 362 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,796 - [british accent] 363 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,796 Would you fancy some white wine? 364 00:09:56,830 --> 00:10:00,600 - [british accent] 365 00:09:56,830 --> 00:10:00,600 I would fancy some white wine. 366 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,435 Why are we talking 367 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,435 Like this? 368 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:06,773 - we're in a carriage, and we do 369 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:06,773 As the carriage people do. 370 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:09,609 [both laugh] 371 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:12,712 - oh! Oh, honey! 372 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:12,712 - son of a bitch! 373 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,714 Marny, I'm sorry. 374 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,752 I can't pour 375 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,752 In this bumpy-ass thing. 376 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,587 - there is no way 377 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,587 Nick and emily 378 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,756 Find this carriage ride 379 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,756 Enjoyable. 380 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,990 - I know. 381 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,325 How the hell 382 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,325 Could this be romantic? 383 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,793 I'm cold, I'm wet, 384 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,495 And I can't help 385 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,495 But wonder 386 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,363 If there's such a thing 387 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,363 As horse deodorant. 388 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,600 - I know, what's up with that? 389 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,600 Ugh. 390 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,970 Let's just take our rut 391 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,970 And go home. 392 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,905 We could see 393 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,905 If the dishwasher 394 00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:41,841 Can get those spaghetti sauce 395 00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:41,841 Stains out of our tupperware! 396 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,377 - no, no, baby, look. 397 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,845 I got a better idea. 398 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,781 Nick and emily 399 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,781 Have the kids. 400 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,785 We finally have a night out 401 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,785 To ourselves. 402 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,653 Let's tear it up 403 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,653 How we used to do. 404 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,790 - oh, you wanna hit up 405 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,790 Some bars? 406 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,592 Maybe do 407 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,592 Some cleavage body shots? 408 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,462 - I don't know if I still have 409 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,462 The boobs for that, 410 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,830 But you can try. 411 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,398 [both laugh] 412 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,300 - you're so silly. 413 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,668 - let's get out of here. 414 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,671 - yes. 415 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,671 - all right. 416 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:14,574 One, two... 417 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:14,574 - honey? 418 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,675 - three. 419 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,675 Tuck and roll! 420 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:19,245 - gary! 421 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,980 Excuse me, sir. 422 00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:24,284 Would you mind stopping? 423 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,824 - [groans] 424 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,693 Nick and emily thayer! 425 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:37,970 - we are 426 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:37,970 In your living room! 427 00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:38,698 - whoa. 428 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,933 - and you're welcome. 429 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,701 - somebody had 430 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,701 A good time tonight. 431 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:42,936 - yep. 432 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,804 And we're coming 433 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,804 For the kids. 434 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,707 Release them. 435 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,409 - oh, you guys. 436 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,479 Thank you so much. 437 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,481 You guys... 438 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,683 I'm sorry, you're gonna have 439 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,683 To excuse me. 440 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,984 - huh? 441 00:11:58,180 --> 00:11:59,719 - this thing is 442 00:11:58,180 --> 00:11:59,719 Just driving me crazy. 443 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:03,523 - oh. 444 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:03,523 - [laughs] 445 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,562 - yeah. 446 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,562 Yeah, no, that part of the tree 447 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:13,299 Was getting 448 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:13,299 A little too kid-friendly. 449 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,736 - you know, we will be happy 450 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,736 To watch the kids for the night. 451 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:17,737 Both: aw. 452 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,472 - thank you. 453 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,741 Because we 454 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,741 Are going to have sex. 455 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,743 - [laughs] 456 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:24,978 - see, I am an expert. 457 00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:26,713 The carriage ride worked. 458 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,820 - oh, no. 459 00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,752 The carriage ride sucked. 460 00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,752 - shh. 461 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,888 - you guys 462 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,888 Didn't like it? 463 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,523 - no, that's not 464 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,523 What she said. 465 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:40,593 she said it sucked. 466 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,763 - come on. 467 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,499 It was one 468 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,499 Of your nick and emily dates. 469 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,734 - mm-hmm. 470 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,603 - it was one 471 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,603 Of your nemily dates. 472 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,505 - nemily? 473 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,505 - yeah. 474 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:57,977 You know, nick, emily. 475 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:57,977 Nemily. 476 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,680 We all call you that. 477 00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:04,551 So, nemily, I don't know what 478 00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:04,551 You guys are trying to prove 479 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,786 With getting 480 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,786 All romantic and stuff, 481 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,788 But you're working 482 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,788 Too hard. 483 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:12,459 And I'm gonna let you in 484 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:12,459 On a little secret 485 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:16,162 Because I love you, 486 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:16,162 And you are watching my kids, 487 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:19,165 So I can go have sex. 488 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,702 Yeah, but sometimes you guys 489 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,702 Are just too cute, 490 00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:26,639 And we think 491 00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:26,639 It's ridiculous. 492 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,750 You're welcome. 493 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,543 - who's "We all"? 494 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,978 - honey, 495 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,978 They're very drunk. 496 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:33,790 They don't know 497 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:33,790 What they're talking about. 498 00:13:33,790 --> 00:13:34,948 - nuh-uh, I don't get drunk. 499 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,818 I get awesome. 500 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,956 - iam drunk. 501 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,956 - [laughs] 502 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,824 - oh, 503 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,824 I love you so much. 504 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,159 Mwah. 505 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:49,462 Marny out. 506 00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:53,967 - [hums] 507 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,203 - well, those were 508 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,203 The rudest carolers of all time. 509 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,945 - you guys want some coffee 510 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,945 Or something? 511 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:07,447 - after what happened 512 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:07,447 Last night? 513 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,416 We are so not talking 514 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,416 To you. 515 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,583 - awesome! 516 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,653 Someone threw up in my bed! 517 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,560 - guys, look, 518 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,560 Whatever we said-- 519 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,490 - nope. 520 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,490 I don't wanna hear it. 521 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,525 - come on, emily. 522 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:23,363 - don't you mean nemily? 523 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:27,500 - thayers out. 524 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,502 - hey, hey. 525 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,502 - nick! 526 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,571 - oh, no. 527 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,474 I must have done 528 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,474 My "Marny out" thing. 529 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,977 - I can't believe I called them 530 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,977 Nemily to their face. 531 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,513 - dad, nick promised 532 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,513 That you were gonna take us 533 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,182 To ride 534 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,182 Roller coasters today. 535 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:46,286 - boys, I can't-- 536 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:46,286 - he promised! 537 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,223 - do you call us 538 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,223 Nemily? 539 00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:51,891 - uh... 540 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,426 - do you think 541 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,426 We're ridiculously cute? 542 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,527 Are we annoying? 543 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,696 - uh... 544 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,432 - oh, come on. 545 00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:02,902 - yeah, thank you. 546 00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:02,902 You've said enough. 547 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:07,307 [door slams] 548 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:07,307 - uh... 549 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,910 Eh. 550 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,912 - everybody thinks 551 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,912 We're ridiculous, huh? 552 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,314 You know what? 553 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,149 They are just saying 554 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,149 We are ridiculous 555 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,250 Because they're jealous. 556 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,485 That's what it is. 557 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,487 They are jealous 558 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,487 That we don't eat 559 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,456 Hot dogs in parking lots. 560 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:27,930 Call me ridiculous, 561 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:27,930 I'll kill you! 562 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,628 - okay, honey? 563 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,729 - yep? 564 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,598 - can I ask you a question? 565 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,598 - yep. 566 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:32,932 - why don't we 567 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:32,932 Just take the stabby things 568 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,934 Out of your hands before I do? 569 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,934 Okay. 570 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,270 You know, 571 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,270 These carriage rides, 572 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,472 Do you have fun 573 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,472 When we go on those? 574 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,474 Because I'm just gonna be 575 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,474 Honest for a second 576 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,643 And just throw it out there. 577 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,478 Not my favorite thing. 578 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,247 - but you always said 579 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,247 You loved it. 580 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,516 - I do--I love it 581 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,516 Because you love it. Okay? 582 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:50,950 But a lot of the things 583 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:50,950 That we normally do 584 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,952 Aren't things 585 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,952 I would normally do. 586 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,587 But I love 587 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,587 That you love them. 588 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,725 - okay, the carriage ride's 589 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,725 Not my favorite. 590 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,593 It's cold and smelly. 591 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,300 And I'm pretty sure that's 592 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,300 When my sweater got fleas. 593 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:08,635 it sucked. 594 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,638 - then why do we 595 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,638 Keep doing it? 596 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,708 - because. 597 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:18,411 Because it's something my 598 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:18,411 Parents would have never done. 599 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,347 They would never make 600 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,347 Caramel apples 601 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,582 Or go swing dancing. 602 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:26,219 They're just two people 603 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:26,219 Sharing the same space. 604 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,121 I swore to myself 605 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,121 When I got married 606 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,123 I would never turn 607 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,123 Into them. 608 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,325 - come here, 609 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,325 Come here. 610 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,294 Listen, 611 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,294 No matter what happens, 612 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:37,297 We are never gonna turn 613 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:37,297 Into your parents, okay? 614 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,133 For one, 615 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,133 I am not an auctioneer. 616 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,669 And also, you don't have 617 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,669 A permanent wedgie. 618 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,504 - [laughs] 619 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,574 - I just think not everything 620 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,574 We do has to be so over-the-top. 621 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,843 Okay, not every date, 622 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,843 Not every present, 623 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:52,612 Not every picture has to be 624 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:52,612 Such a huge production. 625 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,748 - I don't think 626 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,748 We're over-the-top. 627 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,817 - really? 628 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,357 - that's-- 629 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,357 That is ridiculous. 630 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,159 - yep. 631 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:09,229 We ordered 1,000 of those. 632 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,667 - you guys 633 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,667 Want some wine? 634 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,704 - if you even think 635 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,704 Of opening that, 636 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:21,410 And if I smell it, 637 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:21,410 I will beat you to death. 638 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,309 - baby. 639 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,611 - gotcha loud and clear. 640 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,480 Super hearing. 641 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,480 Yeah. 642 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:30,717 Also a great listener. 643 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,620 Two separate powers. 644 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:34,654 - hi. 645 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:34,654 - whoa, whoa, whoa. 646 00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,560 - what? 647 00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,560 - can you please take off 648 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:37,590 Your shoes and empty out 649 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:37,590 Your pockets? 650 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,225 - chris, 651 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,225 I don't have the ring, 652 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,394 And I've grown tired 653 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,394 Of this silly game. 654 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:44,764 - mm-hmm. 655 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:44,764 Turn around, please. 656 00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:46,866 - oh, hey, guys. 657 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,703 - before you say anything, 658 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,172 We are so, so sorry. 659 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,608 - yeah, we should have 660 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,608 Never called you nemily. 661 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:56,643 - [gasps] 662 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:56,643 We can call them that 663 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,611 To their faces now? 664 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,613 - you call us nemily too? 665 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,315 - well, of course. 666 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,818 I call anything 667 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,818 That annoys me nemily now. 668 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,688 Adults with light-up shoes, 669 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,688 Nemily. 670 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:11,558 Anyone who wears shorts 671 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:11,558 In november, nemily. 672 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,761 Ooh, someone who tries to start 673 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,761 A conversation in the elevator, 674 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,629 Nemily. 675 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,629 Yeah. 676 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,331 Actually, 677 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,331 I've called all of you 678 00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:20,633 Nemily at one point 679 00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:20,633 Or another. 680 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,736 - but we don't mean it. 681 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:26,639 - okay. 682 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:29,509 - look, we think you guys 683 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:29,509 Are a great couple. 684 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,945 And we love that you do 685 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,945 All of that romantic stuff. 686 00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:35,682 - thank you, 687 00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:35,682 But you were right. 688 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,852 We need 689 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,852 To calm the hell down. 690 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:41,855 - so you guys 691 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:41,855 Aren't upset with us? 692 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:45,725 - no, and I had no right to say 693 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:45,725 That you guys were in a rut. 694 00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:48,428 - no, no, no, 695 00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:48,428 It's okay, really. 696 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,263 You got us 697 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,263 Out of the house, 698 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,265 And that's something 699 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,265 We should do more often. 700 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:56,336 - yeah, but we just can't do it 701 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:56,336 Like we did it last night. 702 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,805 I can't pee 703 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,805 In the hamper again. 704 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:02,876 It sends the wrong message 705 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:02,876 To the kids. 706 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:06,880 - what? 707 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,549 - nothing. 708 00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:17,624 [giggles] 709 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,692 - how? 710 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,795 - I win. 711 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,800 - [sighs] 712 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,800 Sheila. 713 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,868 The ring is yours. 714 00:19:28,902 --> 00:19:30,737 Remember, I tried to give you 715 00:19:28,902 --> 00:19:30,737 My grandmother's ring. 716 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,707 You said, "No, not until she's 717 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,707 Officially declared dead." 718 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:37,377 And you went out, 719 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:37,377 And you picked this one, so-- 720 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,411 - chris, I don't want it! 721 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,879 - why is it 722 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,879 So important to you 723 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:40,880 That I take this back? 724 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,782 - because! 725 00:19:42,816 --> 00:19:44,417 I feel guilty keeping it. 726 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:47,487 That ring is a symbol 727 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:47,487 Of our divorce, 728 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,191 Which over the past year, 729 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,191 I have come to realize 730 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,827 I was responsible for. 731 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:58,765 - [halfheartedly] 732 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:58,765 No, come on, it was both of us. 733 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,660 - no. 734 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,369 It was all me. 735 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,738 And I'm not the easiest person 736 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,738 To get along with. 737 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,906 And instead of trying 738 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,906 To solve the problem, 739 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,208 I would just say, 740 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,208 "This is me. 741 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,909 If you don't like it, 742 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,909 Get out." 743 00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:12,479 And I'm sorry for that. 744 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:13,780 The ring is yours. 745 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,348 If you don't like it, 746 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,348 Get out. 747 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,651 - [chuckles] 748 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:21,855 You know, the funny thing is 749 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:21,855 This ring game 750 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,891 Is the most fun we've had 751 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,891 Together in a long time. 752 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,590 - well-- 753 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:27,894 - I want you to keep it, 754 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:27,894 Okay? 755 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,630 As a symbol, 756 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,630 Not of our failed marriage, 757 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,634 But of our wonderful divorce. 758 00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,369 - I like 759 00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,369 The sound of that. 760 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,905 Okay, chris. 761 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:39,906 You win. 762 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,608 - yes! 763 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:42,776 Finally! 764 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:47,847 - I will keep 765 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:47,847 The $45,000 ring. 766 00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:52,385 - that's what I told you. 767 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,626 - this garny date's 768 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,626 Pretty good, huh? 769 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,261 You see what I did there? 770 00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:04,164 I combined gary and marny, 771 00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:04,164 Made garny. 772 00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:05,832 - I did see that. 773 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:06,733 Both: mm. 774 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,602 - we got hot dogs 775 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,602 And chips and soda-- 776 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,671 The combo, huh, 777 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,671 What else do we need? 778 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,173 - this is pretty nice. 779 00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:14,774 I'm not gonna post 780 00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:14,774 Any of these photos on facebook, 781 00:21:14,808 --> 00:21:16,676 But it is pretty nice. 782 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,611 - well, I'm glad 783 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,611 To hear you say that 784 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,948 Because remember last year when 785 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,948 I made you that awesome present, 786 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,718 And even then, we were like, 787 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,718 "Gosh, I don't know how 788 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,860 He's gonna top it this year"? 789 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,421 Well, since we are calming 790 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,421 The hell down-- 791 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,790 - you are gonna find 792 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,790 A way to top it. 793 00:21:30,824 --> 00:21:33,660 - I am gonna find 794 00:21:30,824 --> 00:21:33,660 A way to top it. 795 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:35,662 - mm-hmm. 796 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:39,666 [chirping] 45858

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