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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,843 - guys with kidsis taped in 2 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,843 Front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,411 - okay, I'm just gonna 4 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,411 Ask this one more time. 5 00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,713 Are you sure that's the best way 6 00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,713 To thaw a chicken? 7 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,548 - well, when your microwave 8 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,548 Breaks, and you have 45 minutes 9 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,385 To get dinner 10 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,385 On the table, yes. 11 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,120 - hey, I have a lamb chop 12 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,120 Upstairs that could use 13 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:21,654 Highlights and a blow-out. 14 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,240 - [laughs] 15 00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:25,725 - hey, everybody. 16 00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:25,725 - hey! 17 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,460 - hey, baby! 18 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,828 - gary! 19 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,828 - hm? 20 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,866 - what are you doing 21 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,866 With my blow-dryer? 22 00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:34,701 - well, the microwave's 23 00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:34,701 Out of commission because 24 00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:37,537 Clarky and yoda decided to 25 00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:37,537 Heat up a can of whipped cream 26 00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,572 In the name of science. 27 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:44,411 - it was awesome! 28 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:44,411 - stay in your room! 29 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,447 And if that wasn't enough, 30 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,447 The twins had a pooping contest. 31 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:51,418 I'll spare you the details. 32 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:51,418 Robbie won. 33 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,190 - well, can you stop that? 34 00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:56,823 My hair is gonna 35 00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:56,823 Smell like a petting zoo. 36 00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,491 - I'm sorry, baby, 37 00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,491 I'm just scattered, 38 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:01,194 Doing a million things 39 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:01,194 At once. 40 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:04,596 Yeah, okay, my bad. 41 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:04,596 I'll clean that off for you. 42 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,670 [crackling] 43 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:10,470 - gary! Are you all right? 44 00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:12,806 - I--I'm okay! 45 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:16,509 Robbie! I beat you! 46 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,845 - * life is how 47 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,845 You live it * 48 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:21,181 - * ooh, ooh, ooh * 49 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,817 - * wake up where 50 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,817 You want to be * 51 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,385 * hey! Hey! * 52 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,553 - * you and me * 53 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,687 - * ooh, ooh, ooh * 54 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,855 - * we're happy * 55 00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:30,256 - * ooh, ooh, ooh * 56 00:01:30,289 --> 00:01:31,558 - * we need our friends * 57 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,293 * like the sun * 58 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,894 - * everybody sing it * 59 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,396 - * why would you walk 60 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,396 When you can run? * 61 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,990 - * everybody sing it * 62 00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,935 - * why would you walk 63 00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,935 When you can run? * 64 00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:45,604 - you could have died, 65 00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:45,604 You know? 66 00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:47,607 - I know. 67 00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:47,607 What a way to go out. 68 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,876 Giving a chicken 69 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,876 A make-over. 70 00:01:49,908 --> 00:01:52,112 - if you die, 71 00:01:49,908 --> 00:01:52,112 I'm going with you. 72 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,481 I can't raise four boys 73 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,481 Without you. 74 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,883 I'm not sure I can raise 75 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,883 Four boys with you. 76 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,419 - hey, hey, hey. 77 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,419 We both can't be dead. 78 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,554 Who will look 79 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,554 After our kids? 80 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:05,258 - you know, we haven't updated 81 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:05,258 Our will since yoda was born. 82 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,827 My parents are too old 83 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,827 To handle four boys. 84 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,597 And my sister is single 85 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,597 And snobby and would have them-- 86 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,665 [snobby accent] 87 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,665 Talking like this. 88 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:17,971 "Perhaps you would enjoy 89 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:17,971 Some peanut-buttered toast." 90 00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:21,675 - hey, babe, you know what? 91 00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:21,675 My mom could take the kids. 92 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,410 You know, 93 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,410 The boys adore her. 94 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,680 - that woman is not 95 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,680 Raising my kids. 96 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,448 - why not? 97 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,448 She raised me. 98 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,251 - when you were seven, she would 99 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,251 Leave you in a parked car 100 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:34,487 In an alley while she 101 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:34,487 Played bingo all night long. 102 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:37,156 - well, on the upside, 103 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:37,156 I did learn how to make 104 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,859 Dinner for five using 105 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,859 A cigarette lighter. 106 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,297 - come on. 107 00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:48,868 This is serious. 108 00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:48,868 We need to find someone. 109 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:52,172 - how about my brother dale? 110 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:52,172 - dale? 111 00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:55,542 He lives on a boat. 112 00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:55,542 - he's a captain! 113 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,345 - yes. When you're 114 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,345 The only person on the boat, 115 00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,314 You're the captain. 116 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,552 - okay, good job, ernie. 117 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,855 Good job. 118 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,855 Okay, high- five! 119 00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:10,657 No? 120 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,893 Come on, you can do it! 121 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,893 High-five! 122 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,765 Okay, come on. 123 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,765 Here's the cat. 124 00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:21,901 Show him how it's done. 125 00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:21,901 High-five! High-five. 126 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:28,775 Ernie, come on! 127 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:28,775 First high-five. 128 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,910 Major milestone in 129 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,910 The father-son relationship. 130 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,413 Oh, you know what? Next, 131 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,413 I'll teach you how to get girls 132 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:38,351 By putting out "The vibe." 133 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:42,555 - oh! Skank top. 134 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:42,555 Bustin' out the arms. 135 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,758 Who are you trying to impress? 136 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,758 - nobody. 137 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,227 I just have to wait for sheila 138 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,227 To come down and grab ernie. 139 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,428 She's going back to work, 140 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,428 And I'm gonna meet 141 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,230 Some new nanny 142 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,230 That she hired. 143 00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:51,765 - yup. Yup, there it is. 144 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:56,102 Trying to impress the new nanny 145 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:56,102 Just in case she's hot. 146 00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,937 - guys, please, okay? 147 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,506 This woman's going 148 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,506 To be taking care of my child. 149 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:01,341 I'm going to keep it 150 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:01,341 Strictly professional. 151 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,377 [knock at door] 152 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:07,814 - hi. 153 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:10,350 Really? 154 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,520 Hey, everyone, 155 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,520 This is andy. 156 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,954 He's ernie's new 157 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,954 Childcare provider. 158 00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,526 - nice to meet you all. 159 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,394 - you picked a hot one, 160 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,394 All right. 161 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,267 - figuring out who 162 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,267 To leave your kids to 163 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,436 Is such a hard decision. 164 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,706 - oh, I know. 165 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,706 Thank god for my sister. 166 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,975 Because we can't ask nick's mom. 167 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,975 She's a little nuts. 168 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,513 She's written three unauthorized 169 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,513 Andre the giant biographies. 170 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,820 - get out of here. 171 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,584 - baby, we're home. 172 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,584 - hello. 173 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,486 - hey. 174 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,486 - hey, yoda. 175 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:47,721 - hey. 176 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,389 - did you catch 177 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,389 The syracuse game? 178 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:52,920 - I don't even 179 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:52,920 Want to talk about it. 180 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,950 - can somebody please help me 181 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,950 Paint these eyeballs? 182 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,970 - [groans] I just 183 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,970 Sat down, sweetheart. 184 00:04:57,970 --> 00:04:59,632 I'll give you a billion dollars 185 00:04:57,970 --> 00:04:59,632 If you do it. 186 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:03,470 - you owe me a billion dollars 187 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:03,470 From last week's math homework. 188 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,720 - I got it. I got it. 189 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,720 - all right. 190 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,410 - see? 191 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:09,676 They're the ones. 192 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:12,512 Look how great nick and emily 193 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:12,512 Are with our kids. 194 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:15,115 And we've been through 195 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:15,115 Everyone in our family. 196 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,683 Cousins too. 197 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,685 They're all weird. 198 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,286 And nick and emily 199 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,286 Live in the building, 200 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,560 So the kids wouldn't 201 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,560 Have their lives uprooted. 202 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,493 - you're right. 203 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,493 We should ask them now. 204 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:29,562 Hey, you know what? 205 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:29,562 Our boys love you guys. 206 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,331 - aw, and we love them. 207 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,665 It's great for violet 208 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,665 To have someone 209 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,467 Her own age 210 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,467 To play with. 211 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,700 - I'm a pizza-saurus! 212 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,700 I am eating your pizza! 213 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,706 - no way! 214 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,706 - [chuckles] 215 00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:42,750 - and it's good 216 00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:42,750 For nick, too. 217 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:43,909 - hey, nick, come over here 218 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:43,909 For a minute, man. 219 00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:46,813 We want to ask you something. 220 00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:46,813 - oh, well, it's no secret. 221 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:52,850 There's no diet and no exercise. 222 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:52,850 It's just what god gave me. 223 00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:54,320 - hey, look. 224 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,156 The other day, 225 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,156 I almost died. 226 00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:00,260 - oh, right. You were 227 00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:00,260 Styling a chicken. 228 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,763 - you told her? 229 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,763 - I ran home to tell her. 230 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,733 Yeah, I took the steps 231 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,733 Three at a time. 232 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,536 - be that as it may, 233 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,536 You guys have become 234 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,138 Like family to us. 235 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:15,742 How would you feel 236 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:15,742 About taking our kids 237 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,945 If, god forbid, 238 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,945 We both die? 239 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:20,780 - wow, that's-- 240 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:20,780 - of course we would! 241 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,480 We would be honored! 242 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,117 - [exlaims] 243 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,721 - hey, nick, come on. 244 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,721 Join the hug party. 245 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,357 - come on! 246 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,357 - aah! 247 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,158 [overlapping chatter] 248 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,697 [lock clicking] 249 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,134 - okay. Time to go 250 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,134 Put your pajamas on. 251 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,737 Let's see how fast 252 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,737 You can get out of the room. 253 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:48,308 Almost there, okay. 254 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:48,308 And--are you crazy? 255 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,976 How could you 256 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,976 Tell gary and marny 257 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:51,578 That we would 258 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:51,578 Take their four kids? 259 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,381 - I'm sorry, I panicked. 260 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,381 They put us on the spot. 261 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,516 Why didn't you stop me? 262 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,516 - I couldn't. 263 00:06:56,549 --> 00:07:00,200 Hugging. There was 264 00:06:56,549 --> 00:07:00,200 So much hugging. 265 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,220 - maybe it's not a big deal. 266 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,570 I mean, what are the chances 267 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,570 That's ever really gonna happen? 268 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:07,427 - I saw gary electrocute himself 269 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:07,427 With a chicken, 270 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,262 And I was just stopping by. 271 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,980 I mean, that kind of stuff 272 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,980 Might happen every day. 273 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,299 - you know what? 274 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,135 In the off-chance 275 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,135 That it does happen, 276 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,370 We could handle six kids. 277 00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:20,206 - emily, we already 278 00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:20,206 Have our hands full 279 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,707 With violet and freddie 280 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,707 As it is. 281 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,277 And with them, 282 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,277 We have man-to-man defense. 283 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:29,749 We cannot do man-to-man- 284 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:29,749 To-man-to-man-to-man-to-man! 285 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,584 - what are we gonna do? 286 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,420 If we tell them now that 287 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,420 We don't want their kids, 288 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,289 It'll be awkward and awful, 289 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,289 And it might end our friendship. 290 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:40,460 - [groans] We can't 291 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:40,460 Afford to lose them. 292 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:43,329 We're over 30, we don't have 293 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:43,329 The energy to make new friends. 294 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,435 - how are we gonna 295 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,435 Get out of this? 296 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,710 - okay. Okay. 297 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:52,339 If we can't say no to them, 298 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:52,339 We just have to convince 299 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,750 Gary and marny to change 300 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,750 Their minds about us. 301 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,770 Yeah. Yeah, we'll tell them 302 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,770 That we're moving out 303 00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,112 Of the city and 304 00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,112 Into the wilderness. 305 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,447 It'll be a little 306 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,447 Lonely at first, 307 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,449 But the foxes and raccoons 308 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,449 Will be our friends. 309 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,217 And then when 310 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,217 We get hungry, 311 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,586 We'll just kill them 312 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,586 And eat them. 313 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:10,724 - no. We are not gonna lie. 314 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:10,724 That is not a good plan. 315 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:14,294 Why is that 316 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:14,294 So thought out? 317 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:19,320 [door opening] 318 00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:20,500 - hi. 319 00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:20,500 - hey, sheila. 320 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,801 I thought you were 321 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,801 Dropping off ernie. 322 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,171 Where is he? 323 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,171 - california, 1848. 324 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,707 - we made it, ernie. 325 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,707 There's gold in these hills. 326 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,275 Stake your claim. 327 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,278 - andy likes to put playtime 328 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,278 In a historical context. 329 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,447 Which I love. 330 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:37,500 - I thought the smallpox 331 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:37,500 Was gonna get us. 332 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:39,219 But we made it through. 333 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:41,187 Now let's take a moment 334 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:41,187 To remember those 335 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,324 Who weren't as lucky. 336 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,726 - okay, come on, really? 337 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,726 - what? 338 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,729 - going with the hot nanny. 339 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,729 I expected better of you. 340 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,532 - okay, yes, he's pretty. 341 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,769 And has eyes like 342 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,769 A three-year-old husky. 343 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:59,706 Okay. But he is also getting 344 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:59,706 His masters in child psychology. 345 00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:03,877 And he and ernie made the best 346 00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:03,877 Cookies I have ever tasted. 347 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,779 - ernie and I were 348 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,779 Going to make cookies. 349 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,415 - oh, chris, andy 350 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,415 Doesn't make cookies. 351 00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:11,751 He gives them life. 352 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,853 - all right, partner, 353 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,853 This is where I leave you. 354 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,855 Next time pack your bags, 355 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,855 'cause we're off 356 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,558 To the 18th century 357 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,558 To meet an austrian prodigy 358 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:21,227 Named mozart. 359 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,563 Oh, and we're not really going 360 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,563 To austria, so don't worry. 361 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,700 I would never take him anywhere 362 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,700 Without your permission. 363 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,401 High-five. 364 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,471 Yes. 365 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:40,213 - my high-five. 366 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:40,213 - isn't andy amazing? 367 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,183 - the guy's the worst! 368 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,183 - what? Oh, stop it. 369 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,351 Ernie loves him. 370 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,286 And, here, try one 371 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,286 Of his cookies. 372 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,856 Come on. 373 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:53,193 - it's delicious! 374 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,797 - okay, I want 375 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,797 To get rid of andy, 376 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,599 But sheila's gonna 377 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,599 Think I'm biased. 378 00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,434 So I just need you guys to back 379 00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,434 Me up on how terrible he is 380 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,837 So he can go back to 381 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,837 Handsometown, musclechussets, 382 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,438 Or wherever he's from. 383 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:08,375 - no problem. 384 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:08,375 You hate him, we hate him. 385 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,809 - believe me, 386 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,809 Chris, I get it. 387 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,544 It is very hard 388 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,544 To have somebody else 389 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,380 Watching over your children. 390 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,382 Especially if they're 391 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,382 Not a blood relative. 392 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:18,518 I mean, it almost 393 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:18,518 Shouldn't be allowed. 394 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,254 - hey, chris. 395 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,254 - hey. 396 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,255 - what are you doing here? 397 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,791 - oh, you know, I just 398 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,791 Work 50 blocks that way, 399 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,494 So I thought I'd come say hi 400 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,494 To little ernie here. 401 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,962 Hey, buddy. 402 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,764 And you know nick and gary. 403 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,764 - yeah, hey. 404 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,532 - oh, yeah, sorry, man. 405 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,532 Just a second. 406 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,968 Got this gas bubble I'm trying 407 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,968 To burp up out of him. 408 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,469 - oh. Have you done 409 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,469 The football hold? 410 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,737 - yup. 411 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,339 - have you done upside-down 412 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,339 Over the knee? 413 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,342 - I invented 414 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,342 Upside-down over the knee. 415 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,279 This kid, he burps for no man. 416 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,279 - mind if I give it a shot? 417 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,382 - sure. There you go. 418 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:52,285 - okay, come here. 419 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,622 [baby burps] 420 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,659 - wow. That was amazing. 421 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,659 What did you say to him? 422 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,928 - I said, e' tempo. 423 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:06,566 Which means, it's time. 424 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,536 - [laughs] My kid's bilingual. 425 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,272 He's a genius. 426 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,673 - hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. 427 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,673 What-- 428 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,542 What happened to harris? 429 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,378 - oh, he was looking a little 430 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,378 Ratty, so I stitched him up. 431 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,313 Ratty. 432 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,313 Not good for a cat. 433 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,416 [both laugh] 434 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,452 - harris was mine. 435 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,220 I've had him since 436 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,220 I was a little kid. 437 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,289 Every rip, tear, and stain 438 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,289 Represented a beautiful memory. 439 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,857 Can you believe this guy? 440 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,857 - I know. 441 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:34,394 Look at this stitch-work, 442 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:34,394 It's incredible. 443 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,396 My daughter has a stuffed squid 444 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,396 That she loves, 445 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,864 It's kind of falling apart. 446 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,699 In fact, we have to carry it 447 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,699 Around in a ziploc bag. 448 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,535 It's like the bubble boy 449 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,535 Of stuffed animals. 450 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:43,937 - I'd be happy 451 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:43,937 To take a look at it. 452 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,939 - really? 453 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,939 That would be great. 454 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,574 - great? Oh, yeah. 455 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,275 You know what else 456 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,275 Is great, nick? 457 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,379 Friendship, loyalty. 458 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,379 - I couldn't agree more. 459 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:56,583 - thank you, andy. 460 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,918 - oh, you know, I should 461 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,918 Get ernie home for his nap. 462 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:02,455 That's when his brain converts 463 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:02,455 Experience into knowledge. 464 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,580 - whoa. 465 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,580 - wow. 466 00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:08,610 - okay, okay, okay. 467 00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:08,610 Bye. Bye, ernie. 468 00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:10,463 Mwah, there you go. 469 00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:10,463 - thanks, yeah. 470 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,466 - bye, whoever you are now. 471 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,466 - see you, guys. 472 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,436 - bye, andy. 473 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,436 - what a great guy. 474 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,472 - you know, chris, your sense 475 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,472 Of what is and isn't terrible... 476 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,676 Is terrible. 477 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,547 Okay, that was gary. 478 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,382 They're on their way up right 479 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,382 Now with the will documents 480 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,717 For us to initial. 481 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,453 - okay, I got us into this, 482 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,453 I will get us out. 483 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:36,489 I will tell them the truth. 484 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:36,489 - no, no. I will talk to them. 485 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,558 If you talk to them, gary 486 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,558 And marny will get emotional. 487 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,627 Then you'll get emotional 488 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,627 And then you'll chicken out 489 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,629 And gary and marny 490 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,629 Will accidentally die 491 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,464 Making a grilled cheese 492 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,464 With a curling iron, 493 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,598 And we still wind up 494 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,598 With six kids. 495 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,766 [knock on door] 496 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,568 - come in. 497 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,568 - hey, guys. 498 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,769 - hey, sorry about 499 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,769 The short notice, 500 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,538 But we want to lock 501 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,538 This will stuff down 502 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,106 Before the post office 503 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,106 Closes at five. 504 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,609 - I got this. 505 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,609 Hey, guys, listen. 506 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,746 We need to have a little talk 507 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,746 About being your "God forbids." 508 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,716 - you guys are saints. 509 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,716 - we're all right. 510 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:08,755 Um, you know, I think 511 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:08,755 We do need to come clean. 512 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:14,940 We can't take your kids. 513 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:14,940 - what? But why? Is it us? 514 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,496 - no. 515 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,496 - is it the kids? 516 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,640 What did they do? 517 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,640 Why don't you like our kids? 518 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,670 What did they do to you? 519 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,670 - they didn't do anything. 520 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,135 - 'cause I will have them 521 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,135 Come up here right now 522 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,504 And apologize! 523 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,806 - they didn't do anything. 524 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,806 - then what? 525 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,677 What could it possibly be? 526 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,677 Why don't you want our kids? 527 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,547 Don't you love them? 528 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,547 - yes! Yes, we love them. 529 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:35,949 We love them. 530 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:40,687 It's just--you know, 531 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:40,687 The truth is that, um... 532 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,656 You know, 533 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,656 The truth is that-- 534 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:47,594 That emily has 535 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:47,594 A drinking problem. 536 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:51,398 Both: what? 537 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,533 - what? 538 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,533 - honey, they have to know. 539 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:57,671 And put that down, 540 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:57,671 You're killing yourself! 541 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:05,712 - is this for real? 542 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:05,712 Why didn't you say anything? 543 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:09,616 - I didn't realize it was 544 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:09,616 A problem until very recently. 545 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:13,386 - and that's why we can't 546 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:13,386 Accept this responsibility. 547 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,121 - look, we understand. 548 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,558 We completely understand 549 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,558 Why you can't take the boys. 550 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,600 - yeah. 551 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,600 - thank you. 552 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,661 - well, we'll see you later 553 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,661 At chris's, 554 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,563 And we can talk about this 555 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,563 If you want to. 556 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,966 - oh, I think talking about it 557 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,966 Is just gonna make me angry. 558 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,572 What was that? 559 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,572 Why couldn't you be the drunk? 560 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,742 - I didn't want them to think 561 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,742 I'm a drunk. 562 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,745 - oh, poor nick. 563 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:41,114 Carrying all that 564 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:41,114 On his shoulders. 565 00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:44,517 I--oh, no. 566 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,153 - what? 567 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,153 - if emily stops drinking, 568 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:50,557 Who am I gonna drink with? 569 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:54,894 - yes, marny, 570 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:54,894 That's the real problem. 571 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:58,598 - I'm just sayin'. 572 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,133 What? 573 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,276 - okay, I figured out 574 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,276 What I'm gonna do. 575 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,245 I tell people 576 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,245 I'm going to aa. 577 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:15,315 Then after a while 578 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:15,315 I say I have it under control, 579 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,785 And I slowly start drinking 580 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,785 Again in front of other people. 581 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,321 It's exactly 582 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,321 What my uncle did. 583 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,690 - yeah, that's 584 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,690 The attitude. Cheers. 585 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,192 Oh. 586 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,262 - hi, just dropping off ernie. 587 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,331 - hey, violet. 588 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,331 Look who it is. 589 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:34,670 - inky! She's all better. 590 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,336 - they don't call me 591 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,336 The squid doctor for nothing. 592 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:40,206 - [scoffs] Nobody 593 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:40,206 Calls you that. 594 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,276 - andy, can you stay 595 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,276 For dinner, please? 596 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,311 - maybe for a little while, 597 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,311 If that's okay. 598 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,800 - super! 599 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,150 - marny, there's andy. 600 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,150 theandy. 601 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,651 - oh, my god. 602 00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:55,388 He's as handsome 603 00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:55,388 As you said he was. 604 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:56,389 Wow. 605 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,358 - I never said that. 606 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,427 - all right, kids, 607 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,427 Gather around. 608 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,395 I'm going to sing you a song 609 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,395 That my italian grandmother 610 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,531 Used to sing to me 611 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,531 When I was a child. 612 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,500 Through the bars 613 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,500 Of her prison cell. 614 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:11,504 Not an angel, 615 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:11,504 But had the voice of one. 616 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,540 * fa la ninna* 617 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,842 * fa la nanna * 618 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,377 * fa la ninna* 619 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,179 - okay, if anybody's 620 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,179 Gonna sing 621 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,447 A hauntingly beautiful 622 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,447 Lullaby 623 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,215 In my home, 624 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,215 It's gonna be me. 625 00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:26,353 - * nella braccia della mamma* 626 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,155 - ahem! Okay, andy! 627 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,155 Thank you. Thank you. 628 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,258 As opposed to stealing songs 629 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,258 From your criminal grandmother, 630 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,427 I'm going to perform 631 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,427 A little original tune 632 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,330 That I wrote for ernie. 633 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,330 - oh. 634 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,331 [strums guitar] 635 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,367 - * hey, ernie, ernie * 636 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,668 [strumming guitar] 637 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,839 * you're my baby, 638 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,839 Ernie, ernie * 639 00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,540 * call you, maybe * 640 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:49,376 * hey, ernie, ernie * 641 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,511 Both: * you're my baby * 642 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:55,248 - whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 643 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:55,248 He is not your baby! 644 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,384 And nobody asked you 645 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,384 To harmonize, okay? 646 00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,253 Nobody asked you 647 00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,253 To come into our lives. 648 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,588 - I asked him. 649 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,757 In fact, I'm paying him 650 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,757 To be in our lives. 651 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,791 What is your problem? 652 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,791 - no, it's okay. 653 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,461 It's time for me 654 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,461 To go anyway. 655 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:11,598 I didn't mean to step 656 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:11,598 On your toes, chris. 657 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,733 goodnight, bambino. 658 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,204 - bye, andy. 659 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,204 - we love you. 660 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:21,273 - yeah. 661 00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,476 - chris...What was that? 662 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,278 - italian, uh... 663 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:29,449 Bambino means 664 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:29,449 Something in italian. 665 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,285 I'm going to go give ernie 666 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,285 His bottle in his room. 667 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:36,189 Come on. 668 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:36,189 Come on, buddy. Okay. 669 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,290 - [sighs] 670 00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,392 Oh, wine. 671 00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,392 Yes, please. 672 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,620 Drink with me. 673 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,620 - oh, no, thanks. 674 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,230 - oh, don't be that person. 675 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,230 - I'm good. 676 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,199 I'm just going 677 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,199 To stick with water. 678 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,569 - oh. I thought 679 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,569 You looked pregnant. 680 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,308 Right there. 681 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,610 - I am not pregnant. 682 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,610 - okay, yeah. 683 00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:01,214 Waiting to announce. 684 00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:01,214 I get it. Comfy pants. 685 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,384 [chuckles] 686 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,520 - oh, no. Look at that. 687 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:07,654 Sheila! 688 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:07,654 - hm? 689 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,389 - come on over here. 690 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,389 - what? 691 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,570 - what's it like 692 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,570 Being back at work? 693 00:18:11,910 --> 00:18:13,593 - oh, you know, well, 694 00:18:11,910 --> 00:18:13,593 On an intellectual level, 695 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,261 My return 696 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,261 To mccarthy, budin-- 697 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,730 - shut up. That 698 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,730 Was a fake question. 699 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,466 - what? 700 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,466 - you can't give emily wine. 701 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,468 She has a drinking problem. 702 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,738 - [gasps] 703 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,738 And she's pregnant? 704 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,640 - she is? 705 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,640 - oh, well she just told me. 706 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,543 But she doesn't want 707 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,543 Other people to know. 708 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,545 - emily! 709 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:36,950 You're pregnant? 710 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:36,950 - you're pregnant? 711 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,888 - I am not pregnant. 712 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,888 - you're not? 713 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,456 - you lied to me? 714 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,893 - it's not her, 715 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,893 It's the drinking problem. 716 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:50,597 - I am not pregnant and 717 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:50,597 I don't have a drinking problem. 718 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,499 - oh, pills? 719 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,268 - it is not pills! 720 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,471 - okay. 721 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,574 - look, nick only told you guys 722 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,574 I have a drinking problem 723 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,842 Because he didn't 724 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,842 Know how to tell you 725 00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,878 That we don't want 726 00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,878 To take your kids. 727 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:08,848 It's just too much for us. 728 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:08,848 I am so, so, so sorry. 729 00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:11,918 I hope this doesn't ruin 730 00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:11,918 Our friendship. 731 00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:14,454 - it's okay, emily. 732 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,923 We knew 733 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,923 It was a lot to ask. 734 00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:21,594 That's why we were trying 735 00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:21,594 To force you into it. 736 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:26,320 - look, it's just that we look 737 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:26,320 At you guys like family. 738 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:27,701 - we honestly chose you 739 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,537 Because you're 740 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,537 The best parents we know. 741 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,505 - oh. 742 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,505 - aw. 743 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,408 - oh, my god. 744 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,408 We are so flattered. 745 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:39,679 You guys are such dear friends. 746 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:39,679 I feel awful. 747 00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:42,916 Of course we'll take 748 00:19:39,713 --> 00:19:42,916 Your beautiful boys! 749 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,551 - really? Ohh! 750 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,551 - ohh! 751 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,586 - thank you. 752 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,621 - hugging. More hugging. 753 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,499 - [sighs] 754 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,203 So what is your 755 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,203 Problem with andy? 756 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:06,206 - guy can't harmonize. 757 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,142 I know. I just--I'm having 758 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,142 A very hard time dealing with 759 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,211 The fact that you've 760 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,211 Invited this other man 761 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,113 Into ernie's life. 762 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,315 Why can't you just have 763 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,315 A ridiculously hot female nanny, 764 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,951 Like a normal person? 765 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:19,986 - look. Whether it's andy, 766 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,522 Or my boyfriend, 767 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,522 Or my next husband, 768 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,892 There are going to be other men 769 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,892 In ernie's life. 770 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:29,996 But none of them can 771 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:29,996 Replace you, you dummy. 772 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:33,400 You're ernie's dad. 773 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:33,400 He only gets one of those. 774 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,236 And he got pretty lucky 775 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,236 With the one he got. 776 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:39,239 - thanks. 777 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,975 And I know I owe 778 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,975 Andy an apology. 779 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:43,843 - yeah. 780 00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:45,912 I suppose I can do it tomorrow 781 00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:45,912 While he's giving nick and gary 782 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:49,215 Their tennis lesson. 783 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,180 - you'll realize that 784 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,180 Having andy is the best thing 785 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,200 That ever happened to us. 786 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:55,522 Do you know how hard it is 787 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:55,522 To find someone you feel 788 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,590 Truly comfortable 789 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,590 Leaving your kid with? 790 00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,259 Look at gary and marny. 791 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,695 They're leaving their kids 792 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,695 With nick and emily. 793 00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:04,164 She's a drunk. 794 00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:05,665 - emily's not a drunk. 795 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,567 Were you even 796 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,567 Listening out there? 797 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,700 - oh, never trust 798 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,700 A drunk, chris. 799 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:14,740 Never trust a drunk. 800 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,780 [chirping] 47631

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