All language subtitles for The.Completely.Made-Up.Adventures.of.Dick.Turpin.S01E02.ATVP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.H.264-FLUX.en[cc]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:05,923 - [horses whinnying] - [whip cracking] 2 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,258 - [driver] Hut, hut! - [horses approaching] 3 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,391 - Hut! Hyah! - [whinnying] 4 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,560 Hut, hut! 5 00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,359 My first highway robbery. 6 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,778 I haven't been this excited since I discovered my own cheekbones. 7 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,613 - Here's your gun, Dick. - Thank you. 8 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,906 That's the thing you shoot people with. 9 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,448 Okay. Wow, that's quite small, isn't it? 10 00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:34,826 It looks like your gun gave birth to my gun. 11 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,620 So I'm holding up stagecoach with this, am I? 12 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,956 Actually, are you sure you don't want us to take the lead on this? 13 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:41,875 Seeing as you have no experience or knowledge and a tiny little gun. 14 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,211 I'll be fine, Nell. Trust me, I've got this. 15 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,339 - [whinnying, blustering] - [driver] Hut! Hyah! 16 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,967 - Okay. Guys, this is it. - [driver] Hut! Hut! 17 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,301 History in the making. 18 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,219 Okay. 19 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,472 We strike on three. One, two... 20 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,307 - Hyah! Hut! - [whinnying] 21 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,142 [whip cracks] 22 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:01,603 We'll get the next one. 23 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:02,896 They move quite fast, don't they? 24 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,988 Okay, guys, we're back on. 25 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,614 Valuable lessons have been learned. 26 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,324 This time, we strike on two. 27 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,577 No, you stay here and try not to ruin anything, 28 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,203 and enjoy the show. 29 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,664 Uh, when do I get to use my tiny gun? 30 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,499 - [gunshot] - Don't move! 31 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,710 - Hands off the horse! - This is a robbery! 32 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,837 - [whimpering, shouts] - [shouts] 33 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,005 [whimpers] 34 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,507 Who are you? What are you carrying? 35 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,467 Tell me or I'll eat your face! 36 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,012 Please don't hurt me. My name's Craig. Craig the Warlock. 37 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,806 And I'm just carrying general warlocky-type stuff. 38 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,100 - Oh, yeah? Open the cart! - [shouts] 39 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,605 What's this? Where's your money? 40 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,398 I told you, I'm just a lowly warlock. 41 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,900 We get paid less than nurses. 42 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,903 I'm saying loud, scary words. Loud, scary words! 43 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,113 Please! Just take whatever you want. Just don't kill me. 44 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,782 Oh, God, I'm... I'm having a panic attack. I need my inhaler. 45 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,284 I need my... I need my... 46 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,620 [breathes deeply, squeals] 47 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,789 [squeals] 48 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:04,833 This is awful. 49 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,669 [theme music playing] 50 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,944 [song fades] 51 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,821 What's wrong, Dick? You've hardly touched your rat. 52 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,156 It's not the rat, Honesty. 53 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,325 I mean, obviously it is the rat. Sorry, Moose. 54 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,744 - Hmm. - It's just, that was horrible. 55 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,496 We took everything that guy had. 56 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,164 Yeah, you know, that's what outlaws do. 57 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,500 We rob people and then we lie low in our secret hideout. 58 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,336 It's not even that secret. There's a dog walker over there. 59 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,379 Afternoon. 60 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,673 - Afternoon, Linda. - [dog barking] 61 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:56,343 Okay. Well, you're the new leader, Dick. So, what's your vision? 62 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,846 "Give us all your money, but absolutely no worries if not"? 63 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,556 I haven't really had a chance to think about it, 64 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:03,392 but I suppose we could use a bit more panache. 65 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:05,018 - Misdirection. - [gasps] 66 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,186 - The odd illusion. - Yeah. 67 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,605 We could dazzle people with our powerful imaginations. 68 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,023 And whilst they're being dazzled, 69 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,900 slide away on horseback with a cheeky wink. 70 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,278 - [clicks tongue] - [gasps] So cheeky. 71 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:16,488 We wouldn't have to come up with a new way of doing things 72 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,657 if you hadn't messed with Jonathan Wilde. 73 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,410 Yeah, that was a small oversight on my part. 74 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,161 He used to tell us which coaches to rob. 75 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,290 But now, because of you, he wants to, uh... Oh, yeah. Kill us. 76 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,083 He doesn't want to kill us, Nell. 77 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:31,545 He was a bit cross at the time. He's probably forgotten all about us. 78 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,341 I want him, Christopher. 79 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,969 I've never wanted any man more in my life. 80 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,637 He used to want me like that. 81 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:43,891 Slake, where are we on Turpin? 82 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,643 These are all of our most recent Dick sightings, sir. 83 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,728 [chuckles] 84 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,856 Multiple witnesses claim to have seen him here, here and here. 85 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,191 Remarkable. 86 00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:55,277 He's managed to appear in all four corners of the county. 87 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:59,740 Uh, no, sir. Um, those pins are just to hold up the map. 88 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,160 Christ, Slake, couldn't you have used different colored pins? 89 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,411 It's really confusing. 90 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,831 - Yes, sir. A-Apologies, sir. - Tell the men to keep looking. 91 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,959 I want this Dick in my hands as soon as possible. 92 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,921 - [Christopher snickers] - Oh, grow up, Christopher. 93 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,471 [Dick] Whoa, guys. That was a bumpy ride. 94 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,014 How do you park these things again? 95 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,061 {\an8}So you're saying there's an actual highwayman night for just highwaymen? 96 00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,646 Yeah. You're gonna love it, Dick. 97 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,231 Happens every second Tuesday. 98 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:36,360 Highwaymen gather from all over to drink, trade weapons and share heist stories. 99 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,778 Also, there's a raffle. 100 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,572 Just remember we're here to get heist targets. 101 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,908 So let's just keep our ears to the ground. 102 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,077 - Not literally, Honesty. - Okay. 103 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,495 [folk music playing] 104 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,580 [patrons clamoring] 105 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,124 [Moose] What a turnout. 106 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,001 All the most wanted are here. 107 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,461 The Grayson Gang. 108 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,631 [cheering] 109 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,091 The Pipe Dreamers. 110 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,302 [chattering] 111 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:06,390 And those animals are the Dreaded Perms. 112 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,142 [laughing] 113 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:13,272 Dick, please try not to show us up in front of the other gangs. Okay? 114 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,275 Don't worry about me, Nell. I know how to speak to hardened criminals. 115 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,068 I've got palpable charisma. 116 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:18,986 Check this out. 117 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,364 [sighs] Hey, big guy. Nice thigh highs. 118 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:25,200 Dick Turpin, new leader of the Essex Gang. You've probably heard of me. 119 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,745 Get out my face. 120 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,372 [chuckling] 121 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,040 Right, it'd be nice if you didn't get us killed 122 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,876 until at least your third day in charge. 123 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,294 Nell, Nell, Nell! 124 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,045 Can I have some money for raffle tickets, please? 125 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,755 Please, please. I'm begging you. 126 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,674 I'm sorry, can everyone stop being so embarrassing? 127 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,468 Yoo-hoo! Guys! Over here! 128 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:44,720 I've got us a booth. 129 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,930 - [laughs] - [sighs] God, I hate this gang. 130 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,892 - Dick Turpin! - [Dick] Eliza. 131 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:53,145 Your daring escape from Tyburn was quite the hit with my reader. 132 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:57,399 - In fact, so much so, I now have readers. - [chuckles] Wow. 133 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,568 - So people like me? - Oh, but they love you. 134 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,779 You keep risking your life with increasingly action-packed adventures, 135 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,157 and soon we'll have the best-selling pamphlet in the world. 136 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,491 Or at least the village. 137 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,784 I'm gonna be famous. 138 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,997 [inhales sharply] Okay. 139 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,540 Oh, my God. What's happening now? 140 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,376 I'm working on that balaclava I promised you. 141 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,961 I'm at a crucial stage actually. 142 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,546 Do you want eyeholes or a slot? 143 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,508 What I want is for you not to draw attention to us, okay? 144 00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,301 Highwaymen murder and rob. 145 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,385 They don't knit. 146 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,012 Well, maybe they should learn. 147 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,765 Because needlecraft can come in quite handy sometimes. 148 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:32,809 - Dick, you're alive! - [chuckles] Little Karen. 149 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,394 This round's on me. What can I get you guys? 150 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,021 Uh, yeah, um... [clears throat] 151 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,649 Four tankards of your strongest ale please, bar wench, 152 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:43,111 - and a big, massive, um, bowl of pork. - [Little Karen] Great. 153 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,364 I'll probably just get a herbal tea. Peppermint if you've got. 154 00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,908 Same. In fact, should we, uh... should we share a pot? 155 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,327 Yeah. And one of those hard Italian biscuits that I like. 156 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,828 - [Moose] Mmm. - Coming right up. 157 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,163 What is that over there? 158 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,541 [Moose] Oh, they're the highwayman charts. 159 00:06:55,541 --> 00:07:00,212 They tot up all the gangs' stolen loot, their kill count and scare factor. 160 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,756 Yeah, and then they rank them from best gang to, uh... 161 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,925 to not-so-best gang. 162 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,427 - What position are we? - Since you took over, 49th. 163 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,680 We made the top 50. That's incredible. 164 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,139 Yeah, it's out of 50. 165 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:13,892 What, so there's only one other gang below us? 166 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,645 - Who's that? - The Dooberry Brothers. 167 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,564 - [vocalizes] - Hey. 168 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,232 Idiots. 169 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,359 - Who's number one? - [door opens] 170 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:29,074 {\an8}Them. The Hellhounds. 171 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:31,535 [growls] 172 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:34,371 [Honesty] And that's their leader, Leslie Duval. 173 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,374 He's the toughest highwayman in the whole flat world. 174 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,209 [breathing heavily] I mean, he's incredible. 175 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,669 He's like my highwayman hero. 176 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,421 He... He's basically the opposite of you. 177 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:45,132 Well, in that case, I should probably ask him for some advice. 178 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,134 - Hey, Lezza! Over here! - [gang] No, Dick, don't! 179 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,343 [groans] 180 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,720 - Faux pas? - Mm-hmm. 181 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,685 Hi. Dick Turpin. New leader of the Essex Gang. 182 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,520 Yeah, I know who you are, you prick. 183 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,106 I've seen you prancing around in your funny shirts. 184 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,150 Really? Which one? The ruffle ruche frill? 185 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,360 Or maybe he's talking about the beautiful blousy one. 186 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,320 The one with a pussy bow. 187 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,072 - Are you knitting? - Yeah, why? Do you want anything? 188 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,782 I could probably pump you out some leg warmers. 189 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,159 I'm pretty quick on the needles. 190 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:13,952 Dear, oh, dear, Nell. 191 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,038 What are you doing working for a bellend like this? 192 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,248 [laughs] Bellend is very good. I like that. 193 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,209 Um, he actually killed Tom King. 194 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,295 So, um, he's kind of our... our leader now, and... 195 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,963 Bollocks. 196 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,467 Tom King wouldn't let himself get killed by a foppy tit like him. 197 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,677 Well, he did actually. I shot him in the face. 198 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,554 Yeah, yeah. He shot his face right off. 199 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,639 - [chuckles] - Right off. 200 00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:34,932 Right off his skull. 201 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,642 Traveled through the air, landed on a tree. 202 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:39,686 [chuckling] At one point, it looked like the tree had a face. 203 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,563 [groans] Imagine that. 204 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,774 Jesus, Nell, I'm embarrassed for you. 205 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,401 Come and see me. Come and work for a proper gang. 206 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,738 Uh, Nell's in a proper gang. The Essex Gang. 207 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,616 And we're just as tough as any other gang in here. 208 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,826 - [scoffs] - Here's your peppermint tea, Dick. 209 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,453 Put a splash of honey in it. 210 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,664 - I know you got a scratchy throat. - Thanks, Little Karen. 211 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,751 [Leslie] Christ, what a sorry leader you are. 212 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:06,213 Last thing I heard, you were robbing some small-time warlock called Craig. 213 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,589 Yeah. Well, that was a mistake. 214 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,007 We've got a new vision now. 215 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,343 Bigger, sexier robberies. 216 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,179 - Oh, you're ready for the big one, are ya? - Yeah. The big, sexy one. 217 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,056 Yeah? How big? 218 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,474 As big as you can go. 219 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:21,603 Then why don't you rob... [shouting] ...the Unrobbable Coach? 220 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,063 [patrons gasping] 221 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:26,942 [patron] You'd have to be a madman. 222 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,569 Maybe I will. 223 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,903 What is the Unrobbable Coach? 224 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:35,367 They say it carries an emerald the size of a monkey's fist. 225 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,244 How big is that? There are various-sized monkeys. 226 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,620 Oh, it's about yay big. 227 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,247 - The monkey? That's quite small. - [chuckles] 228 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,292 The fist, you twat. Not the monkey. The fist. 229 00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,335 That makes more sense. Okay, we're in. 230 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,963 That's exactly the kind of robbery I'm talking about. 231 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,257 Super sexy, big monkey fist robberies. 232 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:55,012 It rides past the big sycamore tree every night at midnight. 233 00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,764 Let's see if you've got the balls to rob it. 234 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,016 Oh, we've got the balls. 235 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:00,350 Well, we'll see about that. 236 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,436 - We will see. - Will we though? 237 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,647 - Yeah, we will. - Off you go then. 238 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,320 - Which one's the sycamore tree again? - The big, shiny one by the church. 239 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,487 I knew that. 240 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,114 Okay, I'll see you in a bit, yeah? 241 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,326 [distant howling] 242 00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,953 You know, I heard this coach is cursed. That's a bad thing, right? 243 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,246 [sighs] It better not be. 244 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:24,750 I had one request when I joined this gang: Not to be cursed. 245 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:28,337 I was very clear about how little I wanted to be cursed. 246 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,297 Trust me, Moose. It's not gonna be cursed, is it? 247 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,274 Spot on again, Dick. Looks completely fine. 248 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,193 - After you. - I got this. 249 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:52,903 Stand and deliver. 250 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,531 Please? 251 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,829 Honesty, let's go. 252 00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:04,623 Sweet. 253 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,753 So, long shift? 254 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,757 Managed to get away this year? [chuckles] 255 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,429 Wow. It's incredible. 256 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:23,058 And it really is as big as a monkey's fist. Look. 257 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,018 {\an8}[Dick] Oh, yeah. 258 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:26,603 [exhales sharply] 259 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,275 [Honesty breathes shakily] 260 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,489 [chuckles] 261 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,869 - [disembodied laughing] - Dick. Dick! 262 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,704 - [laughing continues] - What's going on? 263 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,664 Dick! 264 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,667 [gasping] 265 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,796 Oh, my God. 266 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,548 Dick. Dick, what's happening? 267 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:57,885 [laughing] 268 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:58,969 Fools. 269 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:02,014 No one robs the Unrobbable Coach. 270 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,850 You touch the emerald and you become the driver. 271 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,768 What? Dick? 272 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:11,190 Forty-three years I've driven that coach, but now I'm free. 273 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:16,445 Free to make love to your sweet wife and punch your children 274 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,447 and eat all of your cheese. 275 00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:19,948 - [laughing] - Dick! 276 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,825 [screaming] 277 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,497 [screaming fades] 278 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,708 Stop it! Stop the coach! You gotta do something. 279 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,793 There's nothing you can do. 280 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:37,633 He's trapped, as only an imbecile tries to rob the Unrobbable Coach. [laughs] 281 00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,510 Surely you robbed it at some point though. 282 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:44,181 Well... [stammers] ...yes, but it was a lesser known thing when I did it. 283 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:47,017 To touch it now, you'd have to be an imbecile. 284 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:49,228 An absolute imbecile, I say. 285 00:12:49,228 --> 00:12:50,521 All right. You already said that. 286 00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:55,776 [laughing] Imbecile. Imbecile. Imbecile. 287 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:02,950 Oh. How'd that work out for ya? 288 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,493 Not great, actually. 289 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,120 As soon as Honesty touched the emerald, he became the driver. 290 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,081 Well, of course he did, you plum. 291 00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:11,542 That's what happens when you rob the Unrobbable Coach. 292 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:13,502 Only an imbecile wouldn't know that. 293 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,837 Can everyone stop saying that? 294 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,214 I've seen some shoddy highway gangs in my time. 295 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,924 But you lot, you really are the worst. 296 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,551 Second worst, actually. 297 00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:21,760 Not anymore. 298 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,514 [Dooberry Brothers cheering] 299 00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:28,475 [sighs] Ruddy Dooberry Brothers. 300 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,396 Nell, how many times you gonna let yourself get humiliated? 301 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:36,358 Join us. Our top marksman Mad Rosie, she's lost an eye. 302 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,236 She's useless now, depth perception's all over the shop. 303 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,195 Come on. 304 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,489 Me? A Hellhound? 305 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,366 That's literally everything I've ever wanted. 306 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:47,953 Nell, you can't leave the gang. I haven't even finished your balaclava. 307 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,371 I don't want a balaclava. 308 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:52,541 [whimpers, stammers] Maybe he could turn it into a little fanny pack 309 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:53,792 for all your bits and bobs. 310 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,586 You're not a highwayman, Dick. 311 00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:57,212 The sooner you accept that, the better. 312 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,634 Go, Hellhounds! Whoo! 313 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,220 Where's the little bird? 314 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,305 There he is. 315 00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:17,232 - Is there a vegan option? - [spits] 316 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:22,154 {\an8}So, according to this "pamplet," you're a highwayman now. 317 00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:24,740 The lowliest of all criminal professions. 318 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,241 How goes it? 319 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,202 It's going pretty well, actually. We're smashing it. 320 00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:31,163 Well, we've lost half our gang, Mr. Turpin. 321 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,165 And we're bottom of the highwayman charts. 322 00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:35,042 Even the Dooberry Brothers are ahead of us. 323 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,752 I-It's a complete and utter mess. 324 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:37,878 Yeah, all right, Moose. 325 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,546 People don't need to know the details, do they? 326 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,174 So, you got yourself involved in some kind of debacle? 327 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,550 Yeah, it was really weird. 328 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,012 I mean, we tried to rob this cursed coach and then Honesty became the driver. 329 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:50,015 - You tried to rob the Unrobbable Coach? - Yeah. 330 00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:53,060 Only an imbecile would try and rob the Unrobbable Coach. 331 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,688 Benny! Are you hearing this? He only tried to rob the Unrobbable Coach. 332 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,525 Only an imbecile would try and rob the Unrobbable Coach. 333 00:14:59,525 --> 00:15:01,568 How do you two even know about the Unrobbable Coach? 334 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,237 Everyone knows about the Unrobbable Coach. 335 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,572 Does everyone know about the Unrobbable Coach? 336 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,491 Yeah, everyone knows about the Unrobbable Coach. 337 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,117 - It's cursed. - It's cursed. 338 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,203 - It's cursed. - Yeah, I know it's cursed. 339 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,288 As soon as you touch it, you become the driver. 340 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,415 Yeah, I know. It's already happened. 341 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,334 We've got to get Nell and Honesty back. 342 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:20,003 Or we leave them and form a new gang. 343 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,255 Just the two of us. 344 00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:24,675 We could call ourselves... [hums] ...the Best Friend Boys. 345 00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:27,261 We can't leave Honesty trapped on a cursed coach. 346 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,721 Why not? Maybe he's enjoying it. 347 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,598 [screaming] 348 00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:37,688 Come on, guys. Think. There's got to be someone who knows how to lift the curse. 349 00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:40,148 What about that chubby little hamster guy we robbed? 350 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,276 - Craig. The warlock. - Craig? 351 00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:43,694 - From Wiglow Woods? - Yeah. 352 00:15:43,694 --> 00:15:45,279 The one who's into all that "mumble jumble"? 353 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,738 He's not a warlock. 354 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,073 He's a charlatan. 355 00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,992 He is a warlock. I saw him levitating once. 356 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,702 He was jumping, Benny. 357 00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:54,371 Look, don't be taken in by all this "hocle-pocle," Son. 358 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:58,292 Come back to the butcher's and work for me... at. 359 00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,460 No, Dad. I've gotta rescue Honesty. 360 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,380 Then maybe Nell will rejoin and I can give her her balaclava. 361 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,716 I trust you're going for eyeholes, Son, and not a slot. 362 00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:10,429 Remember what I always said: A slot will hold its shape not. 363 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,849 Okay. I think we're about done here. Let's go, Moose. 364 00:16:17,603 --> 00:16:18,437 [grunts] 365 00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:21,273 - [Hellhound 1] Oi! Nice one, Toby! - [Hellhound 2] Bull's eye! 366 00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:22,816 Hell of a gang you've got here. 367 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,318 Yeah, so it should be. 368 00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:27,863 I only recruit the meanest, most vicious scoundrels around. 369 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:29,865 He ate his own dad. 370 00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:31,491 She kicks orphans. 371 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,410 And this one, he never buys a round. 372 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,828 - Scum. - Yes. 373 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,914 And this hideout is so hidden. 374 00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:38,790 Bet you hardly get any dog walkers around here. 375 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,710 Well, anyone who finds this place, we torture and kill them on the spot. 376 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,296 - So... - Yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 377 00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:46,131 - Yeah. - And what do you do with the dogs? 378 00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:50,302 Well, we rehome them. We're not monsters. 379 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:51,637 Yeah. Of course. 380 00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:54,848 [inhales sharply] So when's our first big heist, boss man? 381 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,016 - [grunts] - Naughty. 382 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,186 Slow your horses, newbie. You're not a Hellhound yet. 383 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:03,106 You'll have to compete with that lot if you want Mad Rosie's slot. 384 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,650 [stammers] But I quit my old gang. 385 00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,152 It wasn't a gang, Nell. It was a knitting club. 386 00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:10,864 No, no. I need to make sure you're not rusty. 387 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,657 Oh, I'm not rusty. Okay? 388 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,077 I'm, like, the opposite of rusty. 389 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,703 Right. Well, that did sound quite rusty, so... 390 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:17,954 Okay, fine. That was quite rusty. 391 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:23,794 But trust me, these chancers don't stand a... [stammers] ...chance. 392 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:27,673 [snorts] 393 00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:29,883 [gulps] 394 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:34,137 - [distant cawing] - [sighs] Wiglow Woods is massive. 395 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,973 There's no way we're gonna find him. 396 00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:38,767 - That's him there, innit? - Oh, yeah. That is him. 397 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:42,521 [vocalizing, chanting] 398 00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:46,024 Okay. This guy probably hates us, so we're gonna have to charm him hard. 399 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,277 - Let me deal with this. - Okay. 400 00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:49,236 [twig snaps] 401 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,530 - Who goes there? - Don't worry, it's just us. 402 00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,073 The guys who robbed you earlier. 403 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,658 - Moose. - Stay away from me. 404 00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:56,869 You roughed me up. You said you were gonna eat my face. 405 00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:58,996 [grunts, whimpering] 406 00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:00,497 - Help! - Calm down. 407 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,082 You'll only wet yourself again. 408 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,001 I didn't wet myself. It was a yellow potion. 409 00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:06,003 It was just a bit of leakage. Help! 410 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,921 You're snagged on a rock. Let me get that for you. 411 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,591 - [hisses, whimpering] - You're gonna tear the fabric. 412 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:13,635 - [exclaims] - Okay, you're free. 413 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:16,471 But before you scamper off, can I just say, I love that cloak. 414 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:17,890 - Big fan of that cloak. - Mmm. 415 00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:20,601 But it's the wrong length for you. Won't you let me take it up? 416 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,019 I brought my sewing machine. 417 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,940 Yeah. Sure. Why not? [pants] 418 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,484 In your dreams, you weird goth! [whimpers] 419 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:32,529 - [fabric rustling] - [Craig screams] It's happened again. 420 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,699 [chuckles] 421 00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:38,035 So, what I've done is taken it up to your mid-calf, 422 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,412 which I find to be the optimum cloak length. 423 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:43,582 I've also added a new clasp at the front to stop it bursting open. 424 00:18:43,582 --> 00:18:46,793 Wow. And I thought I was supposed to be the wizard. [chuckles] 425 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,546 Now your magic amulet can go over the top. 426 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,882 I bet it used to get caught on that rusty old fastener. 427 00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:54,051 You know what? It did get caught on the fastener. 428 00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:55,385 All the bloody time. 429 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:59,681 So, basically the order is cloak first, then amulet then antlers. 430 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,142 [Dick, Craig] Cloak, magic amulet, antlers. 431 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,977 Wow. You've really helped me out. 432 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,021 - All's forgiven. [chuckles] - [Dick] Thanks, mate. 433 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:09,191 I really hate to ask, but do you think you could return the favor? 434 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:15,072 [Craig] Welcome to my workshop, The Enchanted Oak. 435 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:19,660 Wow. Now, this is a secret hideout. 436 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,703 No one's finding this place. 437 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,497 [Linda] Morning, Craig. 438 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:24,957 Hiya, Linda! 439 00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:27,125 [dog barking] 440 00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:34,258 And then he became the driver, and it took off into the night. 441 00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:36,510 - Those mythical vehicles are a menace. - [Moose] Whoa. 442 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,679 Let me see what I can find. 443 00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:41,056 I think I've got a book around here somewhere. 444 00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:43,183 This place is so cool. 445 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:46,937 - [clicking tongue] Ah. - [Moose sighs] The magic never ends. 446 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:51,024 [sighs] All right. Let's have a look. 447 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,986 "The Possessed Donkey Cart." No. 448 00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:55,779 "The Enchanted Roller Skate." 449 00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,656 "The Haunted Canoe." No. 450 00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:00,659 Here it is. The Unrobbable Coach. 451 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:02,744 [exhales sharply] 452 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,163 All right. I'm just gonna do my warlock voice, if you don't mind. 453 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:08,500 [clears throat, vocalizes] 454 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,336 [deep voice] "There was once a baron 455 00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:16,091 who bought his wife a green emerald the size of a monkey's fist. 456 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,427 - The night before"... - Craig, can I just stop you there? 457 00:20:18,427 --> 00:20:20,345 - [normal voice] Yeah? Thank you. - I love that voice. 458 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,598 It's just, I'm finding it a little bit distracting. 459 00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:24,725 I'm not really taking in any of the information. 460 00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,518 Yeah. Sorry, I'll just do my normal voice. 461 00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,770 It was actually... [coughs] ...really hurting my throat as well. 462 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,481 - [chuckles] Okay. If you could. - Okay. [inhales] 463 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,902 "There was once a baron who bought his wife a green emerald 464 00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:37,196 the size of a monkey's fist. 465 00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:39,239 The night before he gave it to her, 466 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,201 she was murdered by a highwayman seeking the stone." 467 00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:43,660 [wife screams] 468 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:47,998 "Enraged, the baron hired a sorcerer to curse the emerald 469 00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:50,417 - to entrap the highwayman responsible"... - [exclaims] 470 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,462 ..."and punish him for all eternity." 471 00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:57,716 This is all great backstory, but does it say anything about freeing the driver? 472 00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:58,967 Um... 473 00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:04,932 Ah! It says here the baron also created a pair of special mittens 474 00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:09,228 to allow you to touch the emerald without becoming trapped yourself. 475 00:21:09,228 --> 00:21:10,604 We need to get those mittens. 476 00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:12,898 - They could be the key to saving Honesty. - Yeah. 477 00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:15,901 Or we sell the emerald and retire to Shropshire. 478 00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:17,903 Just the two of us. [vocalizes] 479 00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,196 Craig, where are these mittens? 480 00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:21,907 The mittens are buried at the family crypt, 481 00:21:21,907 --> 00:21:25,702 guarded by the ghost of the baron himself. 482 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,037 [celestial music playing] 483 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:29,248 Don't play around with that, mate. It's got really weird batteries 484 00:21:29,248 --> 00:21:30,999 - that are hard to find. - [music stops] 485 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,918 - [celestial music playing, stops] - [exclaims] 486 00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:34,711 [Leslie] There are four trials. 487 00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:40,342 The winner becomes a fully-fledged member of the Hellhounds. 488 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:42,636 That slot's mine. 489 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,930 Over my rotting dead corpse. 490 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:46,723 Mmm. Even better. 491 00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:51,144 [Leslie] Trial one. Aim like your life depends on it. 492 00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,229 Because it does. 493 00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:55,816 Hmm. 494 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:58,485 [inhales sharply] Ooh. 495 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:02,197 [grunts] 496 00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:03,907 [Leslie] Trial two. 497 00:22:03,907 --> 00:22:05,367 Load and fire your gun... 498 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:07,202 before I fire mine. 499 00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:08,912 [grunts] 500 00:22:13,417 --> 00:22:14,418 - [gunshot] - [grunts] 501 00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:17,754 Oops. 502 00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:20,507 Trial three. Grab the loot and go. 503 00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:23,135 The loser, you guessed it, dies 504 00:22:23,135 --> 00:22:25,137 [cheering] 505 00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:29,558 - [Leslie] Bye-bye, Kevin. - [grunts] 506 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,104 And then there were two. 507 00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:37,691 [bird cawing] 508 00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:40,819 [Dick sighing] This must be it. 509 00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:44,072 Dick, you heard about my not being cursed rule, right? 510 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:47,326 It's just this place seems very "curse-y." 511 00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:49,077 Come on. It's not that "curse-y." 512 00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:55,542 [disembodied voices whispering] Very "curse-y." 513 00:22:57,085 --> 00:22:59,254 Okay, yeah. That was a tad "curse-y." 514 00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:10,849 Dick. It's getting "curse-ier" and "curse-ier." 515 00:23:12,476 --> 00:23:14,061 I don't like this, Dick. 516 00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:15,687 It's giving me the heebie-jeebies. 517 00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:17,564 - Come on. Help me get this off. - [sighs] 518 00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:20,025 [both strain] 519 00:23:20,025 --> 00:23:21,902 This must be the baron's stuff. 520 00:23:23,070 --> 00:23:25,614 - Oh. [gasps] - He likes cricket. 521 00:23:25,614 --> 00:23:26,532 - Huh. - [chuckles] 522 00:23:26,532 --> 00:23:29,326 - [inhales sharply] For long journeys. - Mmm. 523 00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,079 [sighs] No mittens though. 524 00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:39,711 Who dares disturb my eternal slumber? 525 00:23:40,337 --> 00:23:42,756 Dick, the mittens. 526 00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:46,134 You're the baron. You built the Unrobbable Coach. 527 00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:49,888 To ensnare the bastard highwayman who killed my beloved. 528 00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:55,102 I despise highwaymen. May they rest in eternal damnation. 529 00:23:55,102 --> 00:24:02,025 May their graves be unmarked and their genitals shrivel and drop off. 530 00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:04,736 - What is it you do? - Oh, we're highwaymen. 531 00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:06,613 [shouting] What? 532 00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:09,032 [chuckles] No. He said, "Haway, man." 533 00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:11,326 - He's from Newcastle, like. [chuckles] - No. 534 00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:13,829 Mmm. Wey, wey. Wey aye, pet. 535 00:24:13,829 --> 00:24:15,789 Prepare to die. 536 00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:18,417 [laughing] 537 00:24:20,794 --> 00:24:22,796 [laughing continues] 538 00:24:23,964 --> 00:24:28,969 Hold on. I'll get my grip, and then I will take revenge. 539 00:24:28,969 --> 00:24:30,679 - [laughs] - What are you doing, Gerald? 540 00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:33,307 - [breathes heavily] - Oh, are you trying to avenge me again? 541 00:24:33,307 --> 00:24:36,560 Of course. I will not rest until those damned highwaymen are... 542 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,897 Dear God. It's been 150 years. Move on, man. 543 00:24:39,897 --> 00:24:42,065 - You're obsessed. - I'm not obsessed. I'm passionate. 544 00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:45,152 All you ever do is bang on about the highwaymen and, oh, the stupid ruby. 545 00:24:45,152 --> 00:24:47,738 - It was an emerald and you know it. - [baroness scoffs] 546 00:24:47,738 --> 00:24:50,616 The size of a monkey's fist because you love monkeys. 547 00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:51,909 I said I liked monkeys one time. 548 00:24:51,909 --> 00:24:54,119 Look, I'm trying to do something nice for you. All right? 549 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,079 Would you just let me slaughter these men. 550 00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:57,581 - [baroness] For God's sake. - [Gerald laughs] 551 00:24:57,581 --> 00:25:00,000 Guys, come on. I can see what's happening here. 552 00:25:00,584 --> 00:25:05,631 Baroness, he's only obsessed with avenging you because he cares. 553 00:25:05,631 --> 00:25:07,549 That's his love language. 554 00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:11,970 And Baron, the baroness doesn't want big fancy gestures. 555 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:16,558 She just wants you to be more present and put the past behind you. 556 00:25:16,558 --> 00:25:20,103 So, you're saying I should let go of the mittens. 557 00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:21,897 Oh, so you get it when he says it. 558 00:25:21,897 --> 00:25:26,276 Why don't you give the mittens to me? And then you can finally move on. 559 00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:29,738 I suppose it is hard to pick things up wearing them. 560 00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:32,115 Also trying to be scary. 561 00:25:33,325 --> 00:25:35,577 Got mittens on. It's impossible. 562 00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:38,997 - How about I give you just one? - [Dick] I mean, they're attached. 563 00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:42,668 So, unless you wanna come with us, probably gonna be a bit tricky. [chuckles] 564 00:25:42,668 --> 00:25:44,503 [sighs] 565 00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:46,672 Go on. 566 00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:52,177 [sighs] 567 00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,765 [Hellhounds laughing] 568 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:03,146 [person imitating bird cooing] 569 00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:07,818 Oh, my God. 570 00:26:07,818 --> 00:26:10,153 [cooing] 571 00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:11,572 Nell. 572 00:26:11,572 --> 00:26:13,407 - [sighs] - [Dick] What took you so long? 573 00:26:13,407 --> 00:26:15,284 Been doing that for about two hours. 574 00:26:15,284 --> 00:26:17,703 What are you doing here, Dick? What bird was that supposed to be? 575 00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:19,329 It's just general forest atmos. 576 00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:20,455 [sighs] 577 00:26:20,455 --> 00:26:23,750 Look, I know I messed up, Nell, but I've got a plan to rescue Honesty 578 00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,794 and get that emerald the size of a monkey's fist. 579 00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:27,713 - [sighs] - But I need you back in the gang. 580 00:26:27,713 --> 00:26:29,214 I'm in a gang, Dick. 581 00:26:29,214 --> 00:26:32,426 A proper gang led by an insane murderous psychopath, 582 00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:34,720 which is something I've always wanted. 583 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,347 - You don't look very happy. - That's just my face. 584 00:26:38,599 --> 00:26:40,475 [inhales deeply] Bye, Dick. 585 00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:42,936 Hey, Nell. I almost forgot. 586 00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:44,354 I finished your balaclava. 587 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,107 I went with eyeholes in the end. 588 00:26:47,107 --> 00:26:48,525 Slot looked ridiculous. 589 00:26:48,525 --> 00:26:50,277 Right. Thanks. 590 00:26:50,986 --> 00:26:52,279 Nell. 591 00:26:52,279 --> 00:26:54,072 Take care, yeah? 592 00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:55,449 Okay. 593 00:26:56,617 --> 00:26:58,076 - Bye. - Bye. 594 00:26:58,076 --> 00:26:59,119 [cooing] Bye. 595 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,705 [cooing] B... [normal] Yeah, I'm not doing that. 596 00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:09,505 [Leslie] Next challenge. Get over here, maggots. 597 00:27:09,505 --> 00:27:11,423 - [Nell] Coming, Leslie! I mean, boss! - [sighs] 598 00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:14,885 The final trial is information. 599 00:27:15,761 --> 00:27:18,138 Half this game is knowing who to rob. 600 00:27:18,138 --> 00:27:21,225 Every good heist target, I put it in here. 601 00:27:21,225 --> 00:27:23,560 Along with a collection of romantic stories I've been working on. 602 00:27:24,269 --> 00:27:25,979 You add to it and you're in. 603 00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:28,649 Let's hear what you've got. 604 00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:33,654 [inhales sharply] He was an older off-limits lord... 605 00:27:33,654 --> 00:27:37,199 - Oh. - ...and she was the village milkmaid. 606 00:27:37,199 --> 00:27:40,536 But when he looked at her, my God, 607 00:27:41,662 --> 00:27:43,830 she burned hotter than the blacksmith's forge. 608 00:27:44,414 --> 00:27:46,291 Ooh, I like it. 609 00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:48,752 Steamy premise. 610 00:27:50,254 --> 00:27:51,839 - It's going in the book. - Yes! 611 00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:52,923 [grunts] 612 00:27:58,428 --> 00:27:59,429 Nell? 613 00:28:00,097 --> 00:28:01,723 Uh, okay. Yeah. Um... 614 00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:08,730 He, uh, is a strong gravedigger, 615 00:28:09,356 --> 00:28:12,943 and she is a... [breathes shakily] 616 00:28:12,943 --> 00:28:16,530 ...well, buxom security guard. 617 00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:20,117 [breathing shakily] Um, and their schedules keep clashing 618 00:28:20,117 --> 00:28:21,743 so they never get to kiss. 619 00:28:25,497 --> 00:28:26,832 Well, it's terrible. 620 00:28:27,416 --> 00:28:28,625 It's not romantic at all. 621 00:28:30,419 --> 00:28:33,297 - You better have a good heist target. - Uh, yeah, uh, let me think. 622 00:28:33,297 --> 00:28:34,631 Targets. Um... 623 00:28:34,631 --> 00:28:37,050 Yeah. [stammers] I-I actually... Wait, wait, wait. 624 00:28:37,050 --> 00:28:40,846 [inhales sharply] What if I got you that emerald the size of a monkey's fist? 625 00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:45,517 [distant howling] 626 00:28:48,979 --> 00:28:50,439 - [branch snaps] - [gasps] 627 00:28:50,439 --> 00:28:51,565 Oh, how did it go? 628 00:28:51,565 --> 00:28:53,483 Not great. [sighs] She's not coming back. 629 00:28:53,483 --> 00:28:55,444 [chuckles] Best Friend Boys it is. 630 00:28:55,444 --> 00:28:56,904 [vocalizes] 631 00:28:57,946 --> 00:28:59,072 [gasps] 632 00:29:01,158 --> 00:29:02,993 [horses whinnying] 633 00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:07,664 [screaming] 634 00:29:07,664 --> 00:29:09,917 Honesty, don't worry. We're gonna get you off there. 635 00:29:11,335 --> 00:29:14,046 - You're looking great, by the way. - Yeah? 636 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:25,974 [Leslie] I'll be taking those. 637 00:29:32,147 --> 00:29:35,859 I'm about to succeed where three generations of Duvals have failed. 638 00:29:35,859 --> 00:29:36,944 What? 639 00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:42,449 My great-grandfather killed the baroness looking for this... emerald. 640 00:29:43,325 --> 00:29:44,576 Get out my way. 641 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,412 Come here you little beauty. 642 00:29:48,789 --> 00:29:50,457 [breathing heavily] 643 00:29:57,714 --> 00:29:59,132 [Gerald laughs] 644 00:29:59,132 --> 00:30:01,969 What? What's happening? 645 00:30:02,886 --> 00:30:04,388 [screams] 646 00:30:04,388 --> 00:30:06,807 [grunting] 647 00:30:08,267 --> 00:30:11,103 [stammers] But I was wearing the mittens. 648 00:30:11,103 --> 00:30:13,981 Those aren't the real mittens. I knitted those. 649 00:30:13,981 --> 00:30:16,149 These beauties are the real mittens. 650 00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:19,903 Only an imbecile would take those mittens, the ones I knitted, 651 00:30:19,903 --> 00:30:22,489 thinking they were the real mittens. [chuckles] 652 00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,576 [screaming] 653 00:30:25,576 --> 00:30:27,578 [screaming fades] 654 00:30:27,578 --> 00:30:29,371 [recruit] Oi, Turpin, drop the emerald. 655 00:30:31,248 --> 00:30:32,374 - Not so fast. - [grunts] 656 00:30:32,374 --> 00:30:34,543 - [breathing heavily, straining] - Yeah. 657 00:30:35,127 --> 00:30:36,587 That's the coolest thing I've ever done. 658 00:30:36,587 --> 00:30:38,463 - So, you got my message then? - What message? 659 00:30:38,463 --> 00:30:40,299 Have you been exchanging messages behind my back? 660 00:30:40,299 --> 00:30:42,301 The one I sewed inside the balaclava. 661 00:30:42,301 --> 00:30:43,886 Told you needlecraft would come in handy. 662 00:30:43,886 --> 00:30:46,180 I'm still not wearing that balaclava, okay? 663 00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:48,307 - [grunts] - [Nell] Go finish your romance novel. 664 00:30:48,307 --> 00:30:49,808 - [Moose] Honesty. - Yeah? 665 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:51,852 [chuckles] How are you doing, mate? 666 00:30:51,852 --> 00:30:53,478 - I need a drink. - Oh. [sighs] 667 00:30:53,478 --> 00:30:54,563 And some lip balm. 668 00:30:59,109 --> 00:31:01,820 [Eliza] Well done, Dick. That was incredible. 669 00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:04,823 I've tripled my pamphlet sales. I've got six readers. 670 00:31:04,823 --> 00:31:06,658 Wow. How did you get it out so quickly? 671 00:31:06,658 --> 00:31:08,243 I was watching you from the bushes. 672 00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:10,704 - Slightly creepy. - Oh, look. 673 00:31:10,704 --> 00:31:13,123 They're updating the highwayman charts. 674 00:31:14,917 --> 00:31:16,752 - [clamoring, cheering] - Nineteen! 675 00:31:16,752 --> 00:31:19,254 - [chuckles] Nice one, Dick! - Top 20! 676 00:31:19,254 --> 00:31:20,964 - All right. I'll take it. - [chuckles] 677 00:31:20,964 --> 00:31:22,591 This is just the start, Dick. 678 00:31:24,635 --> 00:31:27,054 - You'll need to pay for those, by the way. - [Nell] What? 679 00:31:30,057 --> 00:31:32,309 [clicks tongue] Here's your cardi, Slasher. 680 00:31:32,309 --> 00:31:36,063 Thanks, Dick. [chuckles] So snuggly. [chuckles] 681 00:31:36,063 --> 00:31:37,689 [Dick] Anyone else want anything? 682 00:31:37,689 --> 00:31:40,526 Chunky turtleneck for hangings? Stop the rope chafing. 683 00:31:40,526 --> 00:31:42,778 - Yeah, I'll have one. - I'll take one of those! 684 00:31:42,778 --> 00:31:44,071 [patrons clamoring] 685 00:31:44,655 --> 00:31:47,199 Okay, fine. Maybe you are a highwayman, Dick. 686 00:31:47,199 --> 00:31:49,576 - Sorry, what was that? - Absolutely nothing. 687 00:31:58,502 --> 00:32:00,170 Sir. Sir, I found them. 688 00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:02,548 - The Essex Gang? You have them? - [Slake] No, sir. 689 00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:05,050 Different colored pins for the map. 690 00:32:05,050 --> 00:32:07,052 For the love of God. [sighs] 691 00:32:07,052 --> 00:32:10,389 - Slake, prepare my horse. - [stammers] Yes. 692 00:32:11,098 --> 00:32:14,142 If a job's worth doing, do it yourself. 693 00:32:14,142 --> 00:32:17,396 I won't rest until I've got this Dick firmly in my grasp. 694 00:32:17,396 --> 00:32:18,438 [snickers] 695 00:32:18,438 --> 00:32:20,232 It's really not that funny, Christopher. 696 00:32:20,232 --> 00:32:21,316 [sighs] 54121

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