All language subtitles for Shameless (US) (2011) - S09E01 - Are You There Shim Its Me, Ian (1080p BluRay x265 RCVR)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,373 No. 2 00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,459 No, go away. 3 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:08,568 I don't have time for this, all right? 4 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:09,673 I have kids. 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,049 Just watch the damn show when you're supposed to, okay? 6 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,504 Amy. Amy! 7 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:15,598 See? Thanks a lot. 8 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,132 Way to go. Amy! 9 00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,637 Military school? 10 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,167 You said that you weren't going back. 11 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,346 Why did we even bother getting engaged? 12 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,143 Marry me before you leave, dumbass. 13 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,442 You love me, right? Then what's the point in waiting? 14 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,144 Get off the bus, Carl! 15 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,355 I love you! 16 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,967 Saw you took the "For Rent" sign down. 17 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,111 It's about time I got 18 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,737 something of my own for a change. 19 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,659 He come with the place too? 20 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,848 What should I say when 21 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,579 I talk about you to other people? 22 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:41,952 Am I your girlfriend? 23 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,658 Are you a homosexual, Ian? 24 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,896 Any of you queers sick of this bullshit 25 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,081 and want to get out of here? 26 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,537 It's on YouTube. 27 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:48,548 It's already got, like, 1,000 hits. 28 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,756 Seriously? 29 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:50,902 He's like a prophet. 30 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,167 And he's super hot too. 31 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,627 Like hot gay Jesus. 32 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,961 So big, 33 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,263 and we do it in God's name. 34 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,760 My god's a faggot, a junkie, 35 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:02,853 a whore! 36 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,148 Is he off his meds? 37 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,897 How the hell would I know? 38 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,194 Everyone up! 39 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,691 I need sheets. 40 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:16,070 I need lots and lots of sheets. 41 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,244 Debbie! 42 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,912 Well, what would the surgery cost? 43 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,991 It'll run you at least $50,000. 44 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,687 I was hoping there was something I could do to help. 45 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,202 We don't have enough fathers 46 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,037 - on our PTA. - Sign me up. 47 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,622 Pimp my ass. 48 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,276 Now tell me how much you made last year. 49 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,583 Two grand, maybe, 50 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,009 and I don't pay taxes. 51 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,961 Ah! 52 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,887 Oh, you got a niece? 53 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:41,512 My sister's kid. Xan. 54 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,138 Any sign of Xan's mom? 55 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,515 I'm giving my shit-bag half sister two more days. 56 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,625 Hey, why don't you come stay with me for a couple days? 57 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,437 - That'd be cool. - Cool. 58 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,235 Those rich, white, liberal parents at your school, 59 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,314 we gotta take advantage of that. 60 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,319 They'll be gone. We know the code. 61 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,741 You got the code, right? 62 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,079 Fuck! 63 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,658 You gonna get that? 64 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:07,788 No. 65 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,231 ♪♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪♪ 66 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,481 ♪♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪♪ 67 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,563 ♪♪ You were beaming once before ♪♪ 68 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:40,822 ♪♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪♪ 69 00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:44,325 ♪♪ What is this downside ♪♪ 70 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,703 ♪♪ That you speak of? ♪♪ 71 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,785 ♪♪ What is this feeling ♪♪ 72 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:54,498 ♪♪ You're so sure of? ♪♪ 73 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:04,632 ♪♪ Round up the friends you got ♪♪ 74 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,719 ♪♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪♪ 75 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,977 ♪♪ You were willing once before ♪♪ 76 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:15,401 ♪♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪♪ 77 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,730 ♪♪ What is this downside ♪♪ 78 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:22,238 ♪♪ That you speak of? ♪♪ 79 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,114 ♪♪ What is this feeling ♪♪ 80 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:28,073 ♪♪ You're so sure of? ♪♪ 81 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,763 ♪♪ Well, you can write your name in the water ♪♪ 82 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,812 ♪♪ But you ain't hardly got the sand ♪♪ 83 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:56,188 ♪♪ And you can lead your sheep to slaughter ♪♪ 84 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,486 ♪♪ But you won't get my helping hand ♪♪ 85 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,655 ♪♪ And you can love your maker ♪♪ 86 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,993 ♪♪ From the top of every post that you place ♪♪ 87 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,368 ♪♪ And you can weigh your bacon ♪♪ 88 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:13,919 ♪♪ But keep your goddamn grease off my plate ♪♪ 89 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,804 ♪♪ But you keep saying I'm built for a cage ♪♪ 90 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,483 - Oh, shit. - ♪♪ I have been all along ♪♪ 91 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,966 ♪♪ Good reason, there's a real good reason ♪♪ 92 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,510 ♪♪ My bite is just as big as my bark ♪♪ 93 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:27,011 ♪♪ 'Cause I'm a bad dog ♪♪ 94 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:15,972 Morning. 95 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,648 - You're up early. - Yeah. 96 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,100 What you doing? 97 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,151 Paint touch-ups for the appraiser. 98 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,695 Want this place to look great 99 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,864 so he says it's worth a bazillion dollars 100 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,488 and I get a big fat loan for Ian's bail. 101 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,909 Well, keep wearing that outfit, 102 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,736 and you'll get anything that you want. 103 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,072 You think that's, uh... 104 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,953 Is that ketchup or blood? 105 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,909 That could be either. 106 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,958 Doesn't matter now. 107 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,380 We still going to Costco later? 108 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,207 Yeah. Text me when you're ready. 109 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,793 Okay. Have a good day at work, dear. 110 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,553 Shit. 111 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,735 ♪♪ Say, Lord ♪♪ 112 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,690 ♪♪ Save my soul ♪♪ 113 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,445 ♪♪ Ain't got no love ♪♪ 114 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,776 ♪♪ I'm a dollar short ♪♪ 115 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:55,705 ♪♪ I ain't got no place to go ♪♪ 116 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,622 ♪♪ Don't you know ♪♪ 117 00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,328 ♪♪ That down in Jericho ♪♪ 118 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,004 ♪♪ The ocean's dry ♪♪ 119 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,457 ♪♪ No water here to wash me ♪♪ 120 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:10,215 ♪♪ Of my sins ♪♪ 121 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,885 ♪♪ Yeah ♪♪ 122 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,938 Graveyarders, shift's over! 123 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,441 Day crew, let's go! 124 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:35,198 Night crew, paychecks! 125 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,040 Thanks, Jacob. 126 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,616 Don't spend it all in one place, Jugs. 127 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,291 - Breakfast? - Ooh, let's do it. 128 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,792 I'm starving. 129 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:51,295 ♪♪ Brother, sister... ♪♪ 130 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,049 - Yeah? - No, no. 131 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,679 ♪♪ Superman ♪♪ 132 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,306 Okay. 133 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,354 Okay. Okay, now. 134 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,272 ♪♪ Mr. Superman ♪♪ 135 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:11,989 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 136 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,407 Whew. 137 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,366 See you later, Greta's vagina. 138 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,667 Thanks for letting me be of service to you. 139 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,247 You're a funny guy. 140 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,424 Stay as long as you want. 141 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,547 I gotta get in the shower. 142 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,473 Oh, I got you a great shirt. 143 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,698 Hey, doll, I gotta get going. 144 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,998 Okay. 145 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,201 Text you the next time Hal's out of town. 146 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:09,296 You hear that, Hal? You're a lucky guy. 147 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,921 Taught her a few new tricks. Hope you like 'em. 148 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,422 You're welcome. 149 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,558 - I've got you! - I've got you! 150 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,885 - I've got you! - Got you! 151 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,971 - I've got you! - Got you! 152 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,145 - I got you! - I've got you! 153 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,602 Got you! 154 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,433 I've got you! 155 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,439 You don't have him, Huntington. 156 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,065 I just need a better grip, sir! 157 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,508 Are you trying to screw me out of becoming 158 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,023 cadet lieutenant next year, maggot? 159 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,449 No, sir. 160 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,535 Well, it sure as shit looks like it. 161 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,243 Drop that cadet, pissant. 162 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,697 Jesus. Not literally. 163 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,657 Sorry, sir. Sorry, Raul. 164 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,164 I have my year-end review with the general this afternoon. 165 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,210 Do you know what that might be about, puke-head? 166 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,289 No, sir. Y-yes, sir. Uh, me, sir? 167 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,964 I've had the entire school year 168 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,758 to get you plebes into fighting shape, 169 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:58,087 and yet one big, fat turd who can't keep up. 170 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,513 I'll do better, sir! 171 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,966 A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, 172 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,347 and you are my weakest link! 173 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,303 Get out of my face! 174 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,475 Cadets... and Dave... 175 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,979 dismissed! 176 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,153 Corporal Gallagher is on the move! 177 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:17,482 Left! Left! Left, right, left! 178 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,816 Here we go again! 179 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:19,910 Hi, Carl! 180 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,451 I see you in there! 181 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,870 Walking down the avenue! 182 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,744 Only two more days until the end of school! 183 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,292 Mrs. Gallagher is waiting for you! 184 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,711 - Left! Left! - I'm doing my Kegels. 185 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,709 - Left, right, left! - I love you! 186 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,083 There are three units on this level 187 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,009 and three apartments upstairs. 188 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,258 All super-reliable tenants. 189 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,883 I put a new roof on last year. 190 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,852 Uh, that was broken when I bought the place. 191 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,602 I've been looking for a matching piece. 192 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,308 That won't affect the price, will it? 193 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,564 Just gotta take pictures of what I see. 194 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,146 You must be so busy, 195 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,731 everyone trying to refinance 196 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,361 before the rates go up any more. 197 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,192 Been doing ten of these a day. 198 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,653 Wow, that's a lot. 199 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,119 Yeah. Sure. 200 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,621 And you live around here, in the city? 201 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,577 Uh, Schaumburg, actually. 202 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,671 Oh. 203 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,872 It is so nice out there. 204 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,707 Have you been? 205 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,758 Uh, couple times. 206 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:22,429 What's the real estate like out in, uh, Schaumburg? 207 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,303 Nothing like what's happening down here. 208 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:26,725 You grow up there? 209 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,098 Yeah, yeah. Born and raised. 210 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,270 Interesting. 211 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,019 It... It's not. 212 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,852 My husband and I, we like it, though. 213 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,384 So what do you think this place is worth? 214 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,821 $550? $600 at least, right? 215 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,322 Gotta do the comps. 216 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,199 Don't see any red flags, though. 217 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,871 Great. 218 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,493 Where's all the mechanical? 219 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,667 Uh, downstairs in the basement. 220 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,164 Yeah, right through the door. 221 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,586 Mm-hmm. 222 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:08,350 ♪♪ Funny, but when you're near me ♪♪ 223 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:12,180 ♪♪ I'm in the mood for love ♪♪ 224 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,811 ♪♪ Bright as the stars ♪♪ 225 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,234 ♪♪ We're under ♪♪ 226 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,607 ♪♪ Oh, is it any wonder ♪♪ 227 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,575 Dinner is served. 228 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,535 ♪♪ I'm in the mood ♪♪ 229 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,457 ♪♪ For love ♪♪ 230 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,172 Well, top o' the morning to ya. 231 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,140 No time for breakfast... 232 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,718 maid. 233 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,929 I'll just grab something to go. 234 00:12:58,861 --> 00:12:59,897 Hmm. 235 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:19,588 ♪♪ Hoo-hoo, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪ 236 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:23,463 ♪♪ Hoo-hoo, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪ 237 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,354 ♪♪ Hey ♪♪ 238 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,111 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪ 239 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,113 ♪♪ Hoo, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪ 240 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,078 ♪♪ Hoo-hoo, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪ 241 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,997 Hey, Frank. 242 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,550 Push. Push. 243 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,380 Yo, Leo. 244 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,761 My cell, five minutes. 245 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:12,851 No, thank you. 246 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,844 Yes, thank you. I need to blow a nut. 247 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,224 I don't think so. 248 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,557 Since when do you get a say in this, bitch? 249 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,689 Since I told him that he gets a say in this, 250 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,112 bitch. 251 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,235 They're on strike, remember? 252 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,927 You were serious about our fucking hos 253 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,262 - being on strike? - Until you agree 254 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,029 to mutual sexual respect, they aren't coming back. 255 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,488 Let's go, Leo. 256 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,824 Release him, jack-hole! 257 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,511 Fuck you 258 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,179 and your ho strike. 259 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,596 Bye, baby. 260 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,042 You're doing the right thing, Leo. 261 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,604 I know, but I miss him. 262 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,691 Strength through collective action. 263 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:07,925 It's the only way the oppressed 264 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,656 have ever triumphed over the oppressors. 265 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,359 Strength, ladies. 266 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,240 Gallagher. 267 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,696 Visitor. 268 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,160 Yo, Jules, stand guard. 269 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,086 I got it, boss. 270 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,538 Strength. 271 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,821 You sure it's okay you're missing school today 272 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,461 for Brad's wedding? 273 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:31,966 Yeah, my teacher just said 274 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,673 to bring a note from my mom tomorrow. 275 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,224 Need me to write it? 276 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,053 Nah, I can forge her signature. 277 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,604 Okay. 278 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,524 All right. 279 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,817 There we go. 280 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:49,271 And... how do I look? 281 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,651 - Stupid. - Well, good. 282 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,073 That's what I was going for. 283 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,197 Come on, before you make me late. 284 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,331 I love yoga. 285 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,796 Ah. 286 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,419 What are you doing? 287 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,547 Emergency PTA meeting. I hope the kids are okay. 288 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,365 We should probably pick up the pace a little. 289 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,755 Yeah. Up you go. 290 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,431 Oh, God. 291 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,099 I'm close to getting the bail money. 292 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,030 The court just did an appraisal on my building. 293 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,103 - How soon? - Tomorrow, maybe. 294 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,228 I-I need a few more days. 295 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,802 There's oppression everywhere in here. 296 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,652 W-what are you talking about? 297 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,782 I'm busting my ass to get you out of this shit hole. 298 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,201 My work here is not done. 299 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,405 I-I'm saving the submissives from their sexual oppressors. 300 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,367 And I'm getting you a $50,000 gift of freedom. 301 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,622 Look, I organized a strike against the gangbangers 302 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,704 who terrorize the gay and trans inmates. 303 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:49,084 They take out their feelings of... 304 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,837 inadequacy and repressed homosexuality 305 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,543 on us queers, 306 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:55,300 and they practice really bad sexual hygiene. 307 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,266 A-are they giving you your meds in there? 308 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,013 I-I'm protecting defenseless lambs 309 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,018 from having their emotional and physical spirits 310 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,851 slaughtered, Fiona. 311 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,697 Don't break any bones, girls. 312 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,030 We can't afford the hospital. 313 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,365 V, why they got so much energy now? 314 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,451 They were never like this when Svetlana was here. 315 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,605 I think they were scared of her. 316 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,836 Hell, I know I was. 317 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,309 Open up, Kev. We got a line out here. 318 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,736 - Whee! - All right, I'm coming. 319 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,342 I'm coming. 320 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,919 I'm coming! 321 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,076 Let's go, while we're middle-aged! 322 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,261 Calm down! 323 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,764 All right, girls, just stay. 324 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,267 - Well, about time. - Oh, relax. 325 00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:47,814 There's still 19 hours left to drink. 326 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,232 Let's go, yeah. Let's go. 327 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,046 No, no, no, no, no no, no, no. What are you... 328 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,256 Molly, how many times have I told you? 329 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,862 You cannot bring dogs in the bar. 330 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:55,717 Oh, come on, Kev. I just need a shot and a beer. 331 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,177 I've been playing fetch with the beasts for two hours 332 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,817 just to tire them out. 333 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,488 All right, fine. Make it fast. 334 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,951 It's just, I don't want to get shut down by the county. 335 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,077 Having your kids in a cage is what's gonna get you 336 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,705 - shut down by the county. - That's a playpen. 337 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:10,412 We don't have a sitter with Svetlana gone. 338 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,214 Which means we don't have sexy time anymore. 339 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,509 Kev, no one needs to know about our sex life. 340 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,780 I do. Makes me not feel 341 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,545 so shitty about mine. 342 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:19,971 Hey, what's up, Debs? 343 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,343 Hey. 344 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,661 Pitcher of beer, please. 345 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,267 And a large Coke. 346 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,497 What, are you guys, like, morning drinkers now? 347 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,582 Ha. Your morning is our evening. 348 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,722 Every couple weeks, 349 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:28,917 we have to work a graveyard shift. 350 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,024 It sucks. 351 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,851 Oh, can you cash my check for me, V? 352 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,312 - How much is it for? - $720. 353 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:36,647 Are you high? 354 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:37,741 We don't have that kind of money 355 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,153 first thing in the morning. 356 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,596 We don't have that kind of money last thing at night. 357 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,828 Wait, $720? 358 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,683 What are you talking about? We worked the exact same shifts 359 00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,245 - last week. - Yeah, 40 hours times 18. 360 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,826 $18? 361 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,785 - Mm-hmm. - An hour? 362 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,621 I make $15. 363 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,422 - Oh. - Do you guys make $18 too? 364 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,295 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 365 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,629 Fucking Jacob. 366 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,015 ♪♪ I'm a heat seeker, I'm a revelator ♪♪ 367 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,871 ♪♪ If you're trying to stop me, I'ma see you later ♪♪ 368 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,056 ♪♪ I'm a heat seeker... ♪♪ 369 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,811 ♪♪ If you really want it, you can get it ♪♪ 370 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,462 ♪♪ Treating every day like the sun is never setting ♪♪ 371 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,297 ♪♪ If you really want it, then you better go and get it ♪♪ 372 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,938 ♪♪ If you wanna ha, ha, ha, ha... ♪♪ 373 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,511 ♪♪ Don't stop what you're doing, get it ♪♪ 374 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,652 ♪♪ If you want it, go and get it ♪♪ 375 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:27,330 ♪♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪ 376 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,035 Fuck. Am I late? 377 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,869 Uh, no. They're just getting started. 378 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,243 Oh, thank God. I would never hear 379 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,039 the end of it from Cami. 380 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,249 The maid of honor? 381 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,630 Yep. Her sister, Tami. 382 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,006 Cami and Tami, huh? 383 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,838 Yeah, well, our parents, Pami and Sami, 384 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,969 weren't very creative. 385 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,721 I'm fucking with you. They're Bob and Kim. 386 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:47,972 Are you the best man? 387 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,598 Yeah, I'm Lip. 388 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,832 What's up with your hair? Are you, like, 389 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,222 in the Marines or some shit? 390 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,729 I was freebasing. My head caught on fire. 391 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,943 I'm fucking with you. No, I, uh, 392 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,565 fell asleep with gum in my mouth. 393 00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,425 That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard. 394 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,802 Oh, says the lady with the bouffant 395 00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:02,987 and the princess headband. 396 00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:04,158 I spent hours on this. 397 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,764 Well, you can't get that time back, can you? 398 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:07,199 Oh, I can't wait 399 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,350 till this cocksucking ceremony is over 400 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,434 so we can hit the reception. 401 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,825 I am fucking starving. 402 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,127 - Let's do this thing! - After you. 403 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:23,220 Buzz off, will you? 404 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,466 What are you doing here? 405 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,015 I need you to do me a favor. I... 406 00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,218 - Hey. - Hi, Frank. 407 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,518 Nice to see you again. 408 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,345 - It's been a while. - Yeah. 409 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,901 Take this home with you, will you? 410 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,569 Hide it someplace safe. 411 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,691 What's in it? 412 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,773 A little weed, some blow. A couple of oxys. 413 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,428 There's a PTA meeting. It's probably best 414 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,444 not to bring that stuff onto school grounds. 415 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,371 Hey, would you... 416 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:50,868 Doesn't sound like weed. 417 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,244 It's my salary. 418 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:55,293 Ever since you denied me my big, fat score, 419 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,315 I've had to make money the good old-fashioned way: 420 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,455 on my back, 421 00:20:58,549 --> 00:20:59,960 taking what scraps I can 422 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,837 from your little friends' parents. 423 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,419 I'm gonna pawn that stuff after the meeting. 424 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,300 Yes? 425 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,148 Enter. 426 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,397 At ease, soldier. 427 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:24,823 Sir, I'd like to discuss 428 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,616 the cadet lieutenant position. 429 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,534 I know it comes down to me and Lawson 430 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,862 and that one of my men 431 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,155 is not up to the high standards 432 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,119 of military cadets that we expect, 433 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,417 but I promise you, if given that position, 434 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:36,789 I will get him there next year. 435 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:43,626 What are your plans for after graduation, Corporal? 436 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,210 Sir? 437 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,886 Cadet lieutenants have traditionally 438 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,679 gone on to service academies. 439 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,177 West Point? 440 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,554 You have the discipline, the fighting spirit. 441 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,183 Get a congressman or senator's recommendation. 442 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,264 You really think I could? 443 00:21:57,358 --> 00:22:00,271 You'll have to handle your personal situation. 444 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:02,978 There's a civilian outside the wire in a tent. 445 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,197 Gallaghers have always attracted crazy, sir. 446 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,525 My brothers have. Sisters too. 447 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:09,951 My mother was crazy. 448 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:15,203 Well, if you can straighten out your platoon 449 00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,033 and personal issues, son, 450 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:20,245 there's a good chance you'll be cadet lieutenant next year. 451 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,549 Costco or bust. 452 00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:35,386 Hey. Let me just get my stuff. 453 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,812 - How was Ian this time? - Crazier than usual. 454 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,139 Wants to stay in jail. 455 00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:40,599 Needs time to negotiate a strike 456 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,310 between the gangbangers and the lambs. 457 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,145 No idea what he's talking about. 458 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:46,855 That's extra-crispy crazy. 459 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:48,360 Yeah. Anyway, here. 460 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,941 You left your coat at my place. 461 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,776 Oh, yeah. Thanks. 462 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:56,081 All right, lads. I'm off. I'll see you later, yeah? 463 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,828 All right, man. See you. 464 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,955 Yo, gay Jesus! 465 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,336 You need to release our hos now. 466 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:09,507 You ready to negotiate better conditions 467 00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:11,884 for these children of our Lord? 468 00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,386 Last night, I fucked my sink. 469 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,829 - My balls are so blue. - Yeah, that's right. 470 00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:17,515 Then shall we talk, 471 00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:19,749 try to agree on the proper ways to manage our relationships 472 00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:22,561 with those we love and care for? 473 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:24,313 Sure. Whatever the fuck you say, 474 00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:25,985 as long as I get my ass eaten out. 475 00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:29,864 All right. 476 00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:31,590 Let's break bread and drink wine together. 477 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,531 ♪♪ Smooth ♪♪ 478 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,244 ♪♪ Smooth like butter ♪♪ 479 00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:44,295 I never thought she'd stick around. 480 00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,668 Ah, well, you did the work. 481 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,500 You know? You faced your demons. 482 00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,194 A kid and the love of a good woman 483 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,548 will do that to you. 484 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:53,551 Should try it sometime. 485 00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:54,848 - Get out here... - Let's go! 486 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,036 - ...and dance! - Go get 'em. 487 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,203 No, no, no, if I'm doing this, 488 00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,455 come on, you're coming with me. 489 00:23:58,479 --> 00:23:59,560 - Come on, man. - Come on. 490 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,287 Lip, we're doing our nerdiest dance moves. 491 00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:02,375 - Yeah? - Watch, okay. 492 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:03,560 Okay. 493 00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:05,187 ♪♪ Like a slippery slope ♪♪ 494 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,939 ♪♪ Oh, baby, yeah, this is dope ♪♪ 495 00:24:07,029 --> 00:24:08,986 - I got one better. - Yeah? 496 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,564 ♪♪ Oh, boy, let's go ♪♪ 497 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,741 Oh, my God. 498 00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:14,067 All right, all right, all right. 499 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,948 Now, uh, no matter what dance move I do, 500 00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,078 it's gonna be the nerdiest. 501 00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:18,164 - You ready? - Yeah. 502 00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:19,659 Sure? Okay. 503 00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,042 - Oh, Jesus. - What? That's good! 504 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:24,164 That's awful. 505 00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:25,916 - What's up? - Nothing. 506 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,497 Wanna dance? 507 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:28,707 Okay. 508 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:30,292 ♪♪ Melt me up ♪♪ 509 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,337 Who is this kid? He has a beard. 510 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:38,266 Yeah, that's what the hormones in milk will do to you. 511 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,810 Chillax, Grandpa. She's having fun. 512 00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:42,558 Come on. 513 00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:43,855 Uh, where? 514 00:24:43,941 --> 00:24:45,085 The maid of honor and best man 515 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,852 always hook up at these things. 516 00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:52,985 ♪♪ Smooth like butter ♪♪ 517 00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:56,446 Good afternoon. Thank you all 518 00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:58,529 for coming in on such short notice. 519 00:24:58,622 --> 00:25:00,158 Earlier today, I was contacted 520 00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:01,990 by the county health department. 521 00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,167 - Lice again? - I wish. 522 00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:06,586 Then what? I got an open house in 30 minutes. 523 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:08,459 There's an epidemic at our school. 524 00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:10,211 - Measles? - It's because of those 525 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:13,213 anti-vaxxer French kids you let in, isn't it? 526 00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:15,135 It's not the measles. 527 00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:18,306 We're talking about a very... delicate issue: 528 00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:20,429 a sexual epidemic. 529 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:22,135 In elementary school? 530 00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:23,765 That's the French. 531 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,188 My kid's nine. 532 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:26,731 And she's a giant slut. 533 00:25:26,817 --> 00:25:28,024 Honey, stop. 534 00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:29,317 I'm serious. You should see 535 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:31,190 what her daughter wears out of the house. 536 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,737 It's called style. 537 00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,110 Maybe your son should take a few pointers. 538 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,408 Please, enough. I'm not talking 539 00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,235 about the children, for God sakes. 540 00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,945 I'm talking about you people. 541 00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:44,582 The epidemic has been traced to this PTA. 542 00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:45,829 What? 543 00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:47,000 I'll turn this over 544 00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:48,373 to Dr. Jonathan Rosenbaum 545 00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:50,296 from the county health board 546 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,044 to further explain. 547 00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:53,841 Ah, thank you. 548 00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:56,886 Um, as mentioned, uh, this is a sensitive issue, 549 00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:59,055 but one that we do not take lightly. 550 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:00,848 Over the past few weeks, 551 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:02,391 four people have tested positive 552 00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:05,312 for virulent strains of multiple STDs. 553 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,559 The only thing these people have in common 554 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:08,856 was this PTA group. 555 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,308 In all my time 556 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:11,893 at the county health department, 557 00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,398 I-I've never seen symptoms 558 00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:15,276 of all three venereal diseases... 559 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,322 chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis... 560 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,025 in four people at once. 561 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,655 Who the hell are the four? 562 00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,237 - Not me. - Bullshit. 563 00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:24,142 Uh, I can't reveal that information, 564 00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:26,123 but swift action must be taken 565 00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:27,667 so we can learn who these individuals 566 00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:28,753 came in contact with 567 00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:30,169 so we can contain the epidemic. 568 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:33,214 You're saying these four people may have 569 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,153 - given it to the rest of us? - Yes. 570 00:26:35,177 --> 00:26:36,793 But that could only happen from sex. 571 00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,753 You... you don't get an STD from a toilet seat. 572 00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:40,884 This is absurd. If you excuse me, 573 00:26:40,974 --> 00:26:42,340 I have a root canal to perform. 574 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:44,551 Sir, you're gonna stay and be tested. 575 00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:46,432 Can't keep us here against our will. 576 00:26:46,522 --> 00:26:48,263 Actually, I can. The Illinois 577 00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:49,939 Sexual Transmissible Disease Control Act 578 00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,766 states that we can order the testing 579 00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:53,317 and the isolation of an individual 580 00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:55,440 to stop the spread of an STD 581 00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:57,425 until such time that the danger to the public health 582 00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:58,860 is eliminated. That's the law. 583 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:00,908 - What? - Are you kidding me? 584 00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,860 - Folks! - What is going on here? 585 00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:05,038 As soon as everyone is tested, 586 00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:06,535 we can determine who can leave 587 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:08,561 and who will need intravenous antibiotics. 588 00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:09,585 Thank you. 589 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:11,787 - This is... - What the... 590 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:21,671 You pay Farhad more than me. 591 00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:24,046 You know what, Jugs? I don't even have you on the schedule 592 00:27:24,101 --> 00:27:25,637 till tomorrow morning. 593 00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:28,185 He gets $18 an hour. 594 00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:29,433 Everybody does. 595 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:31,480 - I don't. - Well, you're a girl. 596 00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:33,479 What does that have to do with anything? 597 00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:35,401 Uh, you take a lot of bathroom breaks... 598 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,715 peeing, getting your period and whatnot... and I timed you. 599 00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:39,230 - What? - Twenty-four minutes 600 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:41,111 in the can during an eight-hour shift. 601 00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:42,387 That's because your port-a-potties 602 00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:44,073 are fucking disgusting. 603 00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:45,390 You guys piss all over the seats. 604 00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:47,952 It takes me five minutes to clean it and build a nest 605 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:49,657 before I can sit down and pee. 606 00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:51,271 Way of the world, Jugs. You don't like it, 607 00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:53,127 find another job. 608 00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:01,169 Wedding fucks are the best. 609 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,971 - You've done this before? - Seven times. 610 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:07,471 You want my wedding pussy, don't you? 611 00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:09,143 Your version of dirty talk? 612 00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,061 Why, is it working? 613 00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:12,934 Sure. 614 00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:16,564 Ah, your cock is making me really dizzy. 615 00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:18,360 That a good thing? 616 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:20,008 Fucking hallway's spinning around right now. 617 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,695 Oh, hey, you want me to stop? 618 00:28:22,784 --> 00:28:24,571 - Ah... - Fuck. 619 00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:26,744 Hey, are you all right? 620 00:28:26,830 --> 00:28:28,412 Man. 621 00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:29,739 I feel a lot better. 622 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,166 Okay, yeah, let's finish this thing. 623 00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:34,084 I need another drink. 624 00:28:47,309 --> 00:28:49,926 Whoever you four fuckers are that are infected, 625 00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:53,513 I just got a foot-long Q-tip just shoved up my dick. 626 00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:57,692 I understand your anger and your frustration, 627 00:28:57,778 --> 00:28:59,269 and we appreciate your cooperation. 628 00:28:59,363 --> 00:29:01,320 At this time, everyone has been tested. 629 00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:04,149 Thank you. 630 00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:06,326 Uh, Donald and Eliza Watts, 631 00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,243 Paula Dowd, 632 00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:09,662 Leah and John Alperin, 633 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,330 Tod Carney, 634 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,783 Kate and Lina Thomas. 635 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:16,418 You're all free to go. 636 00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:17,565 - Yes! - Fuck. 637 00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:23,300 What about the rest of us? 638 00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:24,878 You all tested positive. 639 00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:26,554 No, that's impossible. 640 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:27,951 I'm calling my lawyer. That's ridiculous. 641 00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:29,215 Look, folks, we have 642 00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,100 to trace this communicable web 643 00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:34,054 to see if anybody is infected that is not in this room. 644 00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:35,729 Look, I can't force you 645 00:29:35,816 --> 00:29:37,432 to reveal your sexual partners, 646 00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:40,234 but any information you give us 647 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,811 could very well save lives. 648 00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:50,995 I slept with I-Irene Bragg. 649 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,788 Asshole! 650 00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:55,036 Fucking whore. 651 00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:57,661 Ed. 652 00:29:58,213 --> 00:29:59,795 Charlize Stewart. 653 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:02,172 What? 654 00:30:02,259 --> 00:30:04,421 I slept with my tennis pro. 655 00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:06,628 I slept with our nanny. 656 00:30:06,722 --> 00:30:09,009 I had sex with my gynecologist. 657 00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:11,842 I always fantasized about having enough money 658 00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:13,972 to stock up on toilet paper. 659 00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:15,223 Lofty goals. 660 00:30:15,314 --> 00:30:16,395 Hey, when I was a kid, 661 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,564 we had to use whatever we could find. 662 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:20,642 Christmas napkins, 663 00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:22,398 paperbacks, 664 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:23,648 coffee filters. 665 00:30:32,331 --> 00:30:33,331 You don't answer it? 666 00:30:33,415 --> 00:30:34,531 No. 667 00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,240 Got boxes to unpack. 668 00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:37,951 I've got a bathroom to clean. 669 00:30:38,045 --> 00:30:40,287 I clean it every week. It's not that dirty, is it? 670 00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:41,774 Ever look behind the toilet? 671 00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:43,630 No, and I never plan on doing so. 672 00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:45,549 Uh-huh. 673 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:49,053 The appraisal report came in. I can get the bail money. 674 00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:52,640 What? 675 00:30:52,726 --> 00:30:54,433 Nothing. 676 00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:56,352 What? 677 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,354 Better not to get involved. 678 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:00,727 With me? 679 00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:02,353 With your family. 680 00:31:02,944 --> 00:31:05,256 If you're involved with me, you're involved with my family. 681 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:06,987 Let's talk about your dirty toilet. 682 00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:09,232 You don't think I should bail him out? 683 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:10,658 Didn't say that. 684 00:31:10,744 --> 00:31:13,532 You didn't say anything. It's like talking to a wall. 685 00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,739 "Uh, excuse me, Mr. Wall. I just got 686 00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:17,323 the money to bail out my brother. 687 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:18,417 Isn't that great?" 688 00:31:18,502 --> 00:31:21,040 "Why, yes, Fiona. That is fantastic!" 689 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:22,916 I doubt the wall would say that. 690 00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:24,006 Yeah? Well, what would 691 00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:25,026 the fucking wall say, then? 692 00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,712 Ian set a... a van on fire. 693 00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:28,642 Coulda killed somebody. He has a Jesus complex. 694 00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:29,989 You said he's on and off his medication. 695 00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:32,005 So I shouldn't bail my own brother out? 696 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:33,618 What if he doesn't show up for his trial? 697 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:35,008 - He wouldn't do that. - You sure? 698 00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:37,219 He knows my ass is on the line. 699 00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:38,974 If he skips town, you lose all your money. 700 00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:40,271 Could be put to better use. 701 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,766 - How? - Don't know. 702 00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:44,128 Invest in another apartment building. 703 00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:46,644 Buy a café, yoga studio... 704 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,525 anything but your brother. 705 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,281 Beverly. 706 00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:01,330 My gardener, Pablo. 707 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,379 I, uh... I don't know his last name. 708 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:07,753 Uh, Kurt Alvarez. 709 00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:12,545 Our pool guy. And, uh... 710 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:14,801 Frank. 711 00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:21,062 I slept with Frank. 712 00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:22,810 So did I. 713 00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:26,442 Me too. 714 00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:29,774 Yep. Frank. 715 00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:35,822 - I slept with Frank. - I slept with Frank. 716 00:32:35,912 --> 00:32:37,699 Frank. 717 00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:46,083 V, look how hard I am for you. 718 00:32:46,173 --> 00:32:48,460 My dick is so hard, it's holding up this... 719 00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:50,212 Kev! 720 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:52,464 Jesus, V, you're supposed to be putting them to bed! 721 00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:54,511 They won't sleep. I'm trying to tire them out. 722 00:32:54,598 --> 00:32:56,430 Did you sing that Russian lullaby to them? 723 00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:58,348 A thousand times, and I read to them, 724 00:32:58,435 --> 00:33:00,392 and I rocked them and I cuddled them 725 00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:01,479 and I threatened them. 726 00:33:01,563 --> 00:33:03,520 We should rub crème de menthe in their mouths. 727 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:05,314 - What? - All my foster parents 728 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,044 used to give us booze for us kids to go to sleep. 729 00:33:07,068 --> 00:33:08,400 That's not a great selling point. 730 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,069 Then what are we gonna do, then? 731 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:21,325 Come on. Come on, let's go. 732 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,497 What are you doing? 733 00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:23,791 We're gonna go play fetch. 734 00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:25,334 It worked for that dog-walking lady. 735 00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:27,036 Maybe it'll work for our kids. 736 00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:30,831 She's still at it. 737 00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:32,792 ♪♪ Carl, Carl, he's my man ♪♪ 738 00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:34,673 ♪♪ If he can't fuck me, no one can ♪♪ 739 00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,763 'Cause of that crazy bitch out there, 740 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:39,385 and this maggot being a fuckup, 741 00:33:39,476 --> 00:33:40,967 I'll never get that promotion. 742 00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:44,350 I love you! Whoo! Hi! 743 00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:45,850 I see you! 744 00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:47,557 ♪♪ Carl, Carl, he's my man ♪♪ 745 00:33:47,651 --> 00:33:49,091 ♪♪ If he can't fuck me, no one can ♪♪ 746 00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:50,893 ♪♪ Carl, Carl, Carl ♪♪ 747 00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:52,979 Okay, girls, you ready? You ready? 748 00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:55,156 Go get it! Go get it! 749 00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:57,029 Bring it back. Run fast. 750 00:33:57,661 --> 00:34:00,074 Good girl! Okay, drop it. 751 00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:02,280 Drop it. Drop it. 752 00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:05,242 ♪♪ There's 50,000 reasons for us to be free ♪♪ 753 00:34:05,335 --> 00:34:09,500 Now fetch! Good girl. 754 00:34:09,589 --> 00:34:12,377 ♪♪ Fifty thousand questions, but they're all the same ♪♪ 755 00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:14,254 Move fast! Use a lot of energy. 756 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:16,802 ♪♪ Fifty thousand reasons for us to be free ♪♪ 757 00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:18,754 ♪♪ Come on, baby, that's a ♪♪ 758 00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:20,259 ♪♪ Oh, baby, that ♪♪ 759 00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:27,427 Hey, what are you laughing about? 760 00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:28,723 Video chatting with Ted. 761 00:34:28,817 --> 00:34:29,817 He is so funny. 762 00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:30,937 Say hi, Ted. 763 00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:32,027 Hey. 764 00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:33,853 Ah, hell, no. Bye, Ted. 765 00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:35,108 Hey! 766 00:34:35,198 --> 00:34:36,439 He has a beard. 767 00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:38,149 Put on Paw Patrol. 768 00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:42,661 Oh! 769 00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:44,656 Look at all this shit Frank stole 770 00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:45,830 from my friends' moms. 771 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:47,283 They know about it? 772 00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:48,538 I don't think so. 773 00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:50,540 Ah, you should pawn it, then. 774 00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:52,747 Gonna give it back. 775 00:34:52,841 --> 00:34:54,207 What, to Frank? 776 00:34:54,301 --> 00:34:55,883 To my friends. 777 00:34:55,969 --> 00:34:57,756 How are you even a Gallagher? 778 00:34:58,221 --> 00:34:59,678 Hey, uh, dinner's ready! 779 00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,380 Be there in a sec. 780 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:02,760 Why, what are you doing? 781 00:35:03,184 --> 00:35:04,720 My boss said I pee too much. 782 00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:06,473 That's why I get paid less than the guys. 783 00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:08,350 So tomorrow, I'm not going to pee at all. 784 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,682 Get paid less just for showing us that. 785 00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:12,562 Screw him. Like guys don't piss. 786 00:35:12,652 --> 00:35:14,860 It's total discrimination. 787 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:16,733 Hey, I come bearing gifts. 788 00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:19,611 Oh, uh, Debs won't need any. 789 00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:20,862 What is that? 790 00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:22,818 It's best not to ask. 791 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:24,828 So... 792 00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:27,114 I can get Ian's bail money. 793 00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:28,369 That's great. 794 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,076 Yeah. 795 00:35:30,170 --> 00:35:31,536 You guys don't think he would 796 00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:33,587 skip out on me, do you? 797 00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:35,085 Is he taking his meds? 798 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:36,382 Maybe not. 799 00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:38,926 Is he gonna be able to get his old EMT job back, 800 00:35:39,012 --> 00:35:41,004 or go back to being Gay Jesus? 801 00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:42,133 Beats me. 802 00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:43,839 Is he gonna pay back his bail? 803 00:35:43,933 --> 00:35:47,677 I don't know. Does any of that shit matter? 804 00:35:47,771 --> 00:35:50,388 How many times have we bailed out family before? 805 00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:53,225 Isn't that just the cost of being a Gallagher? 806 00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:00,565 ♪♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪♪ 807 00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:02,116 ♪♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪♪ 808 00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:04,034 ♪♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪♪ 809 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:08,614 V. 810 00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:14,874 V! 811 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,843 You did it! 812 00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:22,841 It's go time. 813 00:36:42,826 --> 00:36:46,615 Thank you all for staying. You're all to be commended. 814 00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:48,321 Um, at this point, you've all received 815 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,077 your first IV dose of amoxicillin. 816 00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:52,408 In four hours, you'll receive another dose, 817 00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,502 followed by your final dose, four hours after that, 818 00:36:54,587 --> 00:36:57,079 until you are no longer a public health risk. 819 00:36:57,173 --> 00:36:58,414 Have fun. 820 00:36:58,508 --> 00:37:00,148 How are we supposed to relax in this place 821 00:37:00,176 --> 00:37:01,838 when we are trapped like rats? 822 00:37:01,928 --> 00:37:03,698 If you hadn't spread your legs for half these guys, 823 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:05,602 - we wouldn't be here. - Don't blame this on me. 824 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,347 You screwed just as many people as I did. 825 00:37:07,434 --> 00:37:09,266 I don't understand why we can't leave. 826 00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:10,809 It's not like we're gonna have sex 827 00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:12,477 and infect the rest of the world. 828 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,291 You're definitely not gonna have sex. 829 00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:17,149 I mean, you don't want to have sex more than quarterly. 830 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,521 I have post-partum! 831 00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:20,568 For three years? 832 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,396 Uh, in my experience, she's got 833 00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:23,651 quite an active libido, 834 00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,199 but hey, let's not fight. 835 00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:27,117 We gotta make the best of this situation. 836 00:37:27,203 --> 00:37:29,911 The best of this situation? 837 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,705 You fucked all of our wives, Gallagher. 838 00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:33,999 Probably the reason for this whole damn thing. 839 00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:35,371 Yeah. 840 00:37:35,462 --> 00:37:36,953 Yeah, let's kill him. 841 00:37:37,046 --> 00:37:38,441 - Yeah. - Oh, will you... 842 00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:39,956 - Would you calm down? - Stop. 843 00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:41,130 Careful. Stop it. 844 00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:42,253 Look at the bright side! 845 00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:43,583 We're getting free medical care. 846 00:37:43,636 --> 00:37:44,636 Free medical care! 847 00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:46,337 You destroyed my marriage. 848 00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:49,048 I did you a favor! 849 00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:52,226 My penis might have actually helped you to heal. 850 00:37:52,312 --> 00:37:53,723 Did you ever think of that? 851 00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,429 The hell are you talking about? 852 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:57,355 Your bodies are developing immunity 853 00:37:57,442 --> 00:38:00,025 to a horrible disease thanks to me! 854 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,693 Three horrible diseases. 855 00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,060 The fact that you're all cheating 856 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,446 is a lot more serious 857 00:38:04,532 --> 00:38:06,319 than a couple of silly 858 00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:08,492 sexually transmitted diseases. 859 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:09,819 I think you should use this time 860 00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:11,529 to reexamine your relationships. 861 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,267 There's nothing wrong with our relationships. 862 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:14,827 Is that what you think, C h a rl i ze? 863 00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:17,456 Because you told me you feel sexually invisible 864 00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:18,545 in front of Wells. 865 00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:19,837 What? That's bullshit. 866 00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,317 She said you don't find her attractive 867 00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:22,832 since she had your child. 868 00:38:22,926 --> 00:38:24,667 You saw the baby come out of that thing, 869 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:26,343 and it grossed you out. 870 00:38:26,429 --> 00:38:27,840 You gotta get over it, man. 871 00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:28,931 Who the hell are you, 872 00:38:28,932 --> 00:38:30,423 to tell us what to do? 873 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:33,510 I'm the guy who supplied your wives a service. 874 00:38:33,603 --> 00:38:35,014 That's who. 875 00:38:35,104 --> 00:38:38,313 You men have been neglecting them. 876 00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:39,640 Been off screwing other women 877 00:38:39,734 --> 00:38:41,396 because it's more exciting, 878 00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:42,727 but you have not put the time 879 00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:44,107 into your marriages, 880 00:38:44,197 --> 00:38:45,984 so I've had to do the work. 881 00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:48,691 Thank God I'm great at sex. 882 00:38:48,785 --> 00:38:51,152 It's probably 'cause I've had a lot of practice. 883 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:52,407 A lotta practice. 884 00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:54,705 Lotta, lotta, lotta practice. 885 00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:56,202 I'm gonna kill him. 886 00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:57,783 What is your problem, man? 887 00:38:57,877 --> 00:38:59,243 Will you... 888 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:04,339 Come on, kill the bastard! 889 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:05,882 Get off! Come on! 890 00:39:05,969 --> 00:39:07,255 Look! 891 00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:10,428 Look, Frank might have a point. 892 00:39:14,978 --> 00:39:16,594 - He does? - Yeah! 893 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:18,020 Listen to Darren. 894 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,682 The truth is, 895 00:39:21,776 --> 00:39:23,642 Sasha, 896 00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:25,944 I've been working too much, 897 00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:30,108 and I haven't... haven't been a very good husband, 898 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:32,113 or a very good father, 899 00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:33,569 and maybe we could just, 900 00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:35,404 you know, 901 00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:36,955 go somewhere and... 902 00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:39,078 and talk about it. 903 00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:42,252 - Fine. - Yeah? 904 00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:44,455 Did you see that, people? 905 00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:47,792 The flame of love, relit right in front of your eyes. 906 00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:49,468 Does anyone else want to talk, 907 00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:51,341 try to come up with a solution? 908 00:39:51,431 --> 00:39:52,967 I don't. Irene can 909 00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:54,138 rot in hell, for all I care. 910 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,057 You'll be right there next to me. 911 00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:59,227 Well, maybe some people need a little longer to process. 912 00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:01,271 Len, 913 00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:03,314 we haven't had sex in ages. 914 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:05,563 Honey, let's not air out our laundry here. 915 00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:08,566 Len, please, let her... let her continue. 916 00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:12,445 You denied having sex with every woman in here, 917 00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:13,821 yet you tested positive. 918 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:16,029 That doesn't make sense to me, Len. 919 00:40:16,122 --> 00:40:17,988 They must have made a mistake. 920 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,448 Tell them about us, Len. 921 00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:34,717 Okay. 922 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:36,640 Fuck it. 923 00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:40,389 It's true. 924 00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:42,645 Richard and I are having an affair. 925 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:47,192 Well, I didn't see that coming. 926 00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:53,198 You see, folks? 927 00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:56,493 Love is love is love. 928 00:40:58,915 --> 00:41:00,952 I'm so sorry. 929 00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:47,119 What are you doing? 930 00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:49,079 I thought you were asleep. 931 00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,550 Why do you have two phones? 932 00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:56,299 It's for my mother. It's an international phone. 933 00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:58,221 Your mother's Patty? 934 00:41:58,307 --> 00:41:59,514 Patricia, yeah. 935 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,932 Bullshit. 936 00:42:01,019 --> 00:42:03,352 You don't believe me. 937 00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:05,179 Should I? 938 00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:06,855 You want me to call her? 939 00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:08,438 It's early there. She's old. 940 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:10,817 Probably wake her up, but if you insist... 941 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:17,442 No, it's okay. 942 00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:20,118 All this Ian stuff is making you paranoid. 943 00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:21,661 Fine. 944 00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:24,665 - Keep it. - Why? 945 00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:27,084 You don't trust me, so take it. 946 00:42:27,170 --> 00:42:28,581 If it rings, answer it, 947 00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:30,231 and have a nice conversation with me ma. 948 00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:32,877 Tell her I said hi. 949 00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:49,223 ♪♪ Mama always said gotta be yourself ♪♪ 950 00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:51,149 ♪♪ Gotta be yourself ♪♪ 951 00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,648 ♪♪ Mama always said don't worry, don't worry ♪♪ 952 00:42:53,738 --> 00:42:55,479 ♪♪ About no one else ♪♪ 953 00:42:57,784 --> 00:43:00,527 ♪♪ We do it like we do it, do it ♪♪ 954 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,280 ♪♪ We do it like we do it, yeah ♪♪ 955 00:43:04,373 --> 00:43:05,864 ♪♪ Gotta be yourself ♪♪ 956 00:43:05,958 --> 00:43:07,244 ♪♪ Gotta be, gotta be yourself ♪♪ 957 00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:08,746 ♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪ 958 00:43:11,464 --> 00:43:13,330 ♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪ 959 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:14,943 ♪♪ Daddy always tell me that you gotta be tough ♪♪ 960 00:43:14,967 --> 00:43:16,879 ♪♪ You gotta be tough ♪♪ 961 00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:19,177 ♪♪ Everybody's gonna see what you're made of ♪♪ 962 00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:20,504 ♪♪ What you're made of ♪♪ 963 00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:21,964 ♪♪ Yeah ♪♪ 964 00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:25,884 ♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪ 965 00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:29,638 ♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪ 966 00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:31,348 - Hey! - Hey. 967 00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,559 I got a broken cam bearing. 968 00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:35,293 Grab that flashlight. Help me take a look. 969 00:43:35,363 --> 00:43:37,320 Yeah, sure, sure. 970 00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:38,863 You're in a good mood. 971 00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:40,532 I'm fucking married. 972 00:43:40,618 --> 00:43:42,826 That was the best day of my life. 973 00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:45,700 Uh, yeah. 974 00:43:45,790 --> 00:43:47,122 Yeah, looks like the breather gear 975 00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,208 took out the cam. 976 00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:50,830 Eh. Valves are bent too. 977 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:51,980 I'm gonna write an estimate. 978 00:43:52,004 --> 00:43:53,165 Yeah. 979 00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:58,717 So you and Tami hit it off at the wedding. 980 00:43:58,803 --> 00:43:59,761 Yeah, yeah. 981 00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:00,762 She's cute. 982 00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:03,426 Uh, we hooked up. 983 00:44:03,516 --> 00:44:05,098 She was drunk. Puked on me. 984 00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:07,851 Sober sex is weird, huh? 985 00:44:08,437 --> 00:44:09,803 Take her out on a real date. 986 00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:11,889 Go out for a steak or something. 987 00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:14,316 There's nothing like a good woman to ground you. 988 00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:17,854 She could be the one. You never know. 989 00:44:17,947 --> 00:44:20,030 Nah, no, I think I'm too busy for anything like that. 990 00:44:20,116 --> 00:44:21,698 Yeah, because you spend all your time 991 00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:23,616 hanging out with that ten-year-old girl. 992 00:44:23,703 --> 00:44:24,763 It's getting kind of skeevy, man. 993 00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:25,903 Hey. 994 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,284 She doesn't have anybody else. 995 00:44:30,835 --> 00:44:32,371 Call DCFS, bro. 996 00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:35,169 Shit ain't your problem. 997 00:44:37,049 --> 00:44:40,963 ♪♪ I love my baby ♪♪ 998 00:44:41,053 --> 00:44:43,591 ♪♪ That's why she has to die ♪♪ 999 00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:50,010 ♪♪ Mm, I love my baby ♪♪ 1000 00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:54,432 ♪♪ That's why she has to die ♪♪ 1001 00:44:58,112 --> 00:45:01,651 ♪♪ Oh, I can't have these feelings for you, girl ♪♪ 1002 00:45:01,741 --> 00:45:04,449 ♪♪ I'm not that type of guy ♪♪ 1003 00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:11,165 ♪♪ Mm, I love my baby ♪♪ 1004 00:45:12,501 --> 00:45:15,744 ♪♪ You know I love her so ♪♪ 1005 00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:21,007 ♪♪ Mm, I love my baby ♪♪ 1006 00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:26,092 ♪♪ And that's why she has to go ♪♪ 1007 00:45:26,182 --> 00:45:28,720 Fuck! No, no, fuck. 1008 00:45:30,019 --> 00:45:31,226 Fuck! 1009 00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:33,019 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 1010 00:45:33,105 --> 00:45:34,346 Fuck, fuck. 1011 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,727 Ugh! 1012 00:45:36,817 --> 00:45:38,024 Fuck. 1013 00:45:38,110 --> 00:45:39,442 Fuck. 1014 00:45:40,613 --> 00:45:42,855 ♪♪ Ooh, oh, oh ♪♪ 1015 00:45:42,949 --> 00:45:45,783 ♪♪ Ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪♪ 1016 00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:48,076 ♪♪ Ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪♪ 1017 00:45:56,128 --> 00:45:58,165 They're not even getting tired. 1018 00:45:58,256 --> 00:45:59,497 The dogs are, though. 1019 00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:04,819 I've got to get them back to their owners 1020 00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:06,461 at some point, you guys. 1021 00:46:07,390 --> 00:46:10,133 Uh, Molly, just ten more minutes, please. 1022 00:46:10,226 --> 00:46:11,888 Your next beer and shot's on the house. 1023 00:46:11,978 --> 00:46:12,978 Hey! 1024 00:46:13,062 --> 00:46:15,179 She's doing a public service. 1025 00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:17,515 ♪♪ How I wonder... ♪♪ 1026 00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:19,691 Hey, look at that. 1027 00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:23,646 ♪♪ Up above the world so high... ♪♪ 1028 00:46:23,739 --> 00:46:25,605 They're so well-behaved. 1029 00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,300 They're, like, the same age as the girls, 1030 00:46:27,326 --> 00:46:28,692 and they can sing. 1031 00:46:28,786 --> 00:46:30,527 ♪♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪♪ 1032 00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:33,364 - Preschool. - Preschool. 1033 00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:37,417 ♪♪ How I wonder what you are ♪♪ 1034 00:46:57,898 --> 00:47:00,356 Hey. How's it going? 1035 00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:01,979 Can I help you? 1036 00:47:02,069 --> 00:47:04,061 Yeah, it's... it's, uh... it's Lip. 1037 00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:05,612 You know, from the wedding thing. 1038 00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:07,280 Oh, yeah. 1039 00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:09,198 'Sup? 1040 00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:12,778 Brad told me you worked here. It's nice. 1041 00:47:12,872 --> 00:47:14,238 Okay. 1042 00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:17,950 Um... Um... 1043 00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:20,627 Look, I thought maybe you'd want to, uh, 1044 00:47:20,713 --> 00:47:22,079 um, go out to dinner, 1045 00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:23,334 or something. 1046 00:47:23,424 --> 00:47:25,256 Oh, nah. I'm good. 1047 00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:28,843 You're... you're what? 1048 00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:30,465 Look, 1049 00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:33,549 I'm sure in some circles, you're badass, 1050 00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:35,349 or not. I don't know. 1051 00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:36,893 You're just... 1052 00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:38,845 really not that much fun. 1053 00:47:38,939 --> 00:47:40,475 You don't drink, 1054 00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:42,683 you're all angsty about some little girl, 1055 00:47:42,777 --> 00:47:44,643 and you fuck for shit. 1056 00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:47,195 Uh, I don't fuck for shit. 1057 00:47:47,281 --> 00:47:50,024 Oh, yeah, no, you fuck for shit. 1058 00:47:50,117 --> 00:47:52,734 Hey, fuck you, I fuck for shit. 1059 00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:54,785 Have you ever been on the receiving end 1060 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,204 of your fucking? No. 1061 00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:57,330 So how would you even know 1062 00:47:57,375 --> 00:47:58,957 if you fuck for shit? You wouldn't. 1063 00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:00,409 Yeah, well, it's a little difficult 1064 00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:01,503 to not fuck for shit 1065 00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:03,065 when you're standing in a puddle of vomit, 1066 00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:04,566 you know, fucking some gargantuan woman 1067 00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:05,590 in a closet. 1068 00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:07,416 Whatever you need to tell yourself 1069 00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:09,092 - to sleep at night. - No, I'm sorry 1070 00:48:09,178 --> 00:48:11,261 if I wasn't as good as the 73 other best men 1071 00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:12,804 you've had sex with, all right? 1072 00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:13,971 Oh, you weren't. 1073 00:48:14,058 --> 00:48:15,299 No, not by a long shot. 1074 00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:17,009 That was probably the worst lay 1075 00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:18,469 - I've ever had. - Jesus. 1076 00:48:18,562 --> 00:48:20,724 You were all like, jab, jab, jab. 1077 00:48:20,815 --> 00:48:22,501 - Jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, jab! - You know, I didn't even want 1078 00:48:22,525 --> 00:48:23,835 to ask you out to dinner, all right? 1079 00:48:23,859 --> 00:48:25,020 Brad made me do it. 1080 00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:26,727 I was just trying to be a nice guy. 1081 00:48:26,821 --> 00:48:28,483 Nice guy? Okay, well, then you 1082 00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:30,234 should've fucked me good and hard, 1083 00:48:30,324 --> 00:48:32,361 'cause that would've been a nice guy. 1084 00:48:32,451 --> 00:48:33,817 You know, have a good life, pukey. 1085 00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:36,324 Yeah, see you later, jabby. 1086 00:48:43,212 --> 00:48:44,578 Hey, Nick! 1087 00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:46,584 You going to the port-a-potty again? 1088 00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:49,132 Third time in the bathroom today? 1089 00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:50,550 Whoo! What's that, 1090 00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:53,299 about 12, 13 minutes, Jacob? 1091 00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:56,052 What's the deal with you, Gallagher? 1092 00:48:56,142 --> 00:48:58,225 You haven't taken a pee break all day. 1093 00:48:58,310 --> 00:48:59,391 Shit, you're right. 1094 00:48:59,478 --> 00:49:00,969 Thanks for reminding me. 1095 00:49:01,063 --> 00:49:03,055 Gonna go right now. 1096 00:49:10,531 --> 00:49:12,022 All done. 1097 00:49:26,547 --> 00:49:27,833 Hi. 1098 00:49:28,382 --> 00:49:29,748 Whatcha doing? 1099 00:49:30,342 --> 00:49:32,800 Signing the loan paperwork to get Ian's bail money, 1100 00:49:32,887 --> 00:49:34,628 and I don't want to hear a word about it. 1101 00:49:34,722 --> 00:49:36,088 Not from me. 1102 00:49:36,182 --> 00:49:37,889 I come bearing burritos. 1103 00:49:39,059 --> 00:49:40,641 Chicken and bean? 1104 00:49:40,728 --> 00:49:42,094 Is that what you like? 1105 00:49:42,188 --> 00:49:43,304 Yes. 1106 00:49:43,397 --> 00:49:45,059 Then of course that's what I got. 1107 00:49:51,614 --> 00:49:53,025 Thank you. 1108 00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:54,731 I will... 1109 00:49:54,825 --> 00:49:57,442 I will accept this apology burrito. 1110 00:49:57,536 --> 00:49:59,277 - Apology? - Yeah. 1111 00:49:59,371 --> 00:50:00,599 For keeping it a secret you got two phones. 1112 00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:02,740 Oh, and here I thought you were gonna apologize 1113 00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:03,935 for snooping through my phones. 1114 00:50:03,959 --> 00:50:05,916 Yeah, no, not a chance. 1115 00:50:11,592 --> 00:50:14,209 - Wow. - Mm-hmm. 1116 00:50:14,303 --> 00:50:15,794 Did you talk to my mother? 1117 00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:17,220 Nope, never rang. 1118 00:50:17,306 --> 00:50:19,047 I did drop it in the toilet, though. 1119 00:50:19,141 --> 00:50:20,677 I hope it still works. 1120 00:50:24,271 --> 00:50:26,103 Mmm. 1121 00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:31,910 Took care of your problem, Corporal Gallagher. 1122 00:50:31,946 --> 00:50:32,982 What problem is that? 1123 00:50:33,072 --> 00:50:35,439 Just wanted to prove my loyalty to our platoon, sir. 1124 00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:37,195 The hell are you talking about, cadet? 1125 00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:39,241 Kassidi. Don't worry, sir. 1126 00:50:39,328 --> 00:50:41,285 Nobody will ever find the body. 1127 00:51:04,436 --> 00:51:05,802 I have good news. 1128 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:08,229 Me too. I can get the bail money. 1129 00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,351 Our strike ended. 1130 00:51:09,441 --> 00:51:10,852 We were able to negotiate 1131 00:51:10,943 --> 00:51:12,855 peaceable and non-abusive engagements. 1132 00:51:12,945 --> 00:51:14,026 Did you hear what I said? 1133 00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:15,354 I got approval to take a loan 1134 00:51:15,447 --> 00:51:17,259 - against my building. - Now, some of the bangers 1135 00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:18,444 are slow to pick up 1136 00:51:18,534 --> 00:51:19,844 on what that actually means, but, you know, 1137 00:51:19,868 --> 00:51:20,929 with the upbringing they've had, 1138 00:51:20,953 --> 00:51:22,444 I'm not surprised. 1139 00:51:22,538 --> 00:51:24,140 Listen, if I bail you out, are you gonna show up 1140 00:51:24,164 --> 00:51:25,905 for your trial? 1141 00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:29,834 I-I have no idea where Shim's gonna take me, Fiona. 1142 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:30,878 Who? 1143 00:51:30,879 --> 00:51:32,086 Shim. 1144 00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:33,798 What the hell is a shim? 1145 00:51:35,384 --> 00:51:36,545 I mean, we have no idea 1146 00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:38,501 if God's a she or a he, do we? 1147 00:51:40,014 --> 00:51:41,255 Oh. 1148 00:51:42,182 --> 00:51:43,389 Shim. 1149 00:51:45,436 --> 00:51:47,974 ♪♪ Whoa, I got out, I got out ♪♪ 1150 00:51:48,063 --> 00:51:51,056 ♪♪ And not a moment too soon ♪♪ 1151 00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:53,061 Okay. 1152 00:51:53,152 --> 00:51:54,359 Oh, ladies and gentlemen, 1153 00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:56,778 uh, thank you again for your cooperation. 1154 00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,447 Uh, we've contacted your other sexual partners. 1155 00:51:59,533 --> 00:52:01,013 Uh, some of you are gonna need to find 1156 00:52:01,076 --> 00:52:02,283 a new yoga instructor. 1157 00:52:02,369 --> 00:52:03,369 Couple of you gentlemen are gonna need 1158 00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:04,861 to look for a new assistant. 1159 00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:06,016 What if I stay with Richard 1160 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:07,406 every Tuesday, Thursday, 1161 00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:09,081 - and alternating weekend? - Perfect. 1162 00:52:09,168 --> 00:52:10,875 You're gonna become a "thruple"? 1163 00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:11,997 Yep. Thanks, Frank. 1164 00:52:12,087 --> 00:52:14,545 Aww, that's just great. 1165 00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:16,999 Let's go, boys. 1166 00:52:17,092 --> 00:52:18,674 So, 1167 00:52:18,761 --> 00:52:20,127 we made it to the other side. 1168 00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:24,134 Who knew STDs could bring so much happiness? 1169 00:52:24,725 --> 00:52:25,932 Hey, Gallagher. 1170 00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:28,263 I want to thank you for showing me 1171 00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:30,516 what a raging whore my wife is. 1172 00:52:30,606 --> 00:52:32,393 Well, now, come on... 1173 00:52:38,739 --> 00:52:39,739 Call me, Frank. 1174 00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:42,065 ♪♪ And not a moment too soon ♪♪ 1175 00:52:42,159 --> 00:52:44,276 ♪♪ Oh, not a moment too soon ♪♪ 1176 00:52:44,370 --> 00:52:45,952 ♪♪ yeah ♪♪ 1177 00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,825 Hey, Jacob! 1178 00:52:47,915 --> 00:52:49,476 Looks like I'm the only one who didn't take 1179 00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,832 a pee break today. 1180 00:52:50,918 --> 00:52:52,228 Guess you have no choice but to pay me 1181 00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:53,413 the same as the guys. 1182 00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:54,711 $18 an hour, please. 1183 00:52:54,797 --> 00:52:56,083 Okay, fine. 1184 00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,085 You'll see it in your next paycheck, Jugs. 1185 00:52:58,550 --> 00:52:59,586 Thanks. 1186 00:53:03,639 --> 00:53:05,096 "Jugs"? 1187 00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:14,306 What the hell is this? 1188 00:53:18,070 --> 00:53:22,440 ♪♪ I've been getting vibes so fresh and clean ♪♪ 1189 00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:27,369 ♪♪ I can feel the sunshine calling me ♪♪ 1190 00:53:27,454 --> 00:53:32,290 ♪♪ Yeah, I'm feeling good, feeling free ♪♪ 1191 00:53:32,376 --> 00:53:36,165 ♪♪ Running from my head down to my feet ♪♪ 77759

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