All language subtitles for Sex Life S01E05 1080p WEB H264-iNSiDiOUS_track3_[eng]

♪ Don't care what
you think about it ♪

♪ Ain't here to
please nobody ♪

♪ I'm the one they
run for cover ♪

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪ Mend my wicked ways

♪ I'll get you
into trouble now ♪

♪ It's just so
hard to behave ♪

♪ Got you
seeing double now ♪

♪ I'm the one your
mama told you ♪

♪ I play the
one as torture ♪

♪ The risk you cant afford

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪ Turn it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Turn it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Get you into trouble now

[music]

- I know a number of
burlesque performers.

I would say about 90 percent
of them have gotten into

burlesque because they feel
sensual and they feel

sexy and they like
the attention.

And they like
the tease of it,

and the power
that that brings.

- When I see a woman,
like, walk onstage and

she has comedic timing,
which I love in burlesque--I

think comedy and sexiness
is just so powerful.

- Oh, I love burlesque.

I'm obsessed
with the fashion,

the skill that it takes to
actually do the dancing,

and I think it's a beautiful,
beautiful art form.

- Seeing burlesque shows
inspires me to go and work out.

When I hear the word
"burlesque," I think of fit

dancers delicately removing
their items of clothing.

There's always that moment
of questioning--will they

take off their top or
their bottom first?

- As a man, watching burlesque,
it's like I am kinda more

aroused by almost seeing nudity.

That's the thing
about burlesque,

is like it's almost
off--it's almost off.

[laughter]

Like, fall off--please, just
fall off.

- I'm Michael.
- I'm Lisa.

- I'm Alastair.
- And I'm Jessica.

- I'm Mackenzie.
- I'm Nick.

- I'm Derek.

- [all] And this--
- And this--

- And this--
- And this--

- This is my sex life.
[slates clapping]

- Ooh!
- Let's talk about it.

- [chuckles]

[music]

- I call myself the most
naked woman because one,

I really like to get naked.

And two, I really like to
be vulnerable and

authentic on stage.

I like the idea of the
word "naked" being both

a physical and an emotional
and spiritual idea.

It's over-the-top sexuality.

It is sensual, interactive,
immersive, decadent,

elegant raunch.

[subdued crowd chatter]

When I started
doing burlesque,

I was noticing a lot of
people were making fun of

sexuality instead of
owning their sexuality.

And it became really
clear to me that women,

especially, were not
comfortable owning their power.

Even though they were
physically revealing

themselves, the thing I
felt from them was apology.

So what I wanted to do is
work through that and bring

that real sexuality,
that something

that was not apologetic.

- Please welcome the
legendary Michelle L'amour.

[crowd cheering]
[club music]

- There's like a trope in
burlesque where you take

something off and you're
surprised about

what's happening.

I never, ever do that.
[laughs]

You should not be surprised that
your clothes are coming off.

Maybe the audience
should be surprised,

but you should be owning it.

I think embracing your
sexuality is truly not

having apology,
but being completely present

and strong on the stage,
and open and giving

to the audience.

[water pouring into kettle]

- What cup you want?

- That rooibos--uh, no--yeah.

- Rooibos?
- Mm.

I was raised born-again
Christian, evangelist.

His dad was--
- Southern Baptist preacher.

- --a preacher.

We were both in these worlds,
and super-sexual people.

- We have a very sort
of--not evangelistic,

but a very spiritual
approach to our sexuality,

and that is our job.

Our sexuality is our job.

[music]

When we met, she was
auditioning for a dance

talent sort of thing.

- And I sat behind
this guy with, like,

spiky blond hair,
and I was like,

what is his deal?

- She's talking about me.
I had hair at some point.

- [laughs]
Yeah.

He started contacting me
and asking me if I wanted

to choreograph for his band.

I wanna open up the rock
show with a burlesque show,

do you wanna do that.

I was like,
"Yeah, sure, hmm-hmm,"

and didn't know what

that word meant.
I had no idea.

And then I heard the music,
like the classic burlesque

tracks, the [imitating
rhythmic tapping of drum cymbal]

you know, and
it was like, oh, yeah,

I totally know how to do this.
[laughs]

I've been doing this
in my bedroom for years.

[crowd cheering]

[jazzy, upbeat dance music]

So it came really
naturally to me.

I loved being naked on stage.
It just feels very free.

There's no pretense.

But when you're
getting naked on stage,

you have to have a
really strong sense of self.

When I'm performing,
I'm practically naked the

whole time.

I'm known as the
most naked woman.

And really, that was
just a means to an end.

When I first
started doing burlesque,

I didn't have a lot of money,
and so I would wear small

G-strings where most girls
were wearing more full coverage.

So it kinda just
started from my physicality.

But then the meaning behind
it started to sink in.

[crowd cheering,
applauding, shouting]

- So the 2,000th daybook
came in.

[music]

- For a long time, it was
very difficult for me to

portray this idea of
sexuality and beauty.

Those are cute undies.
- Those are cute.

- When I was around
five or six years old,

what I remember is
my mom crying a lot,

and taking a ton of blood tests.
That's what I remember.

I have alopecia areata.

Alopecia is an autoimmune
disease where your body

decides to attack
your hair follicles.

And that's when you
lose your hair in patches.

When I was in seventh grade,
things are happening

with your body,
things are going on.

And I'm losing hair,
a ton of hair,

and there's nothing
I can do about it.

What I learned from that
moment of trying to cover

things up, it's kind
of like a performance.

That moment really made me
obsessed about what made

something sexy, what
made something beautiful.

But then my hair grew back,
and it was beautiful and

gorgeous and long,
down my back.

[music]

- She's one of the
best in the business.

Please welcome the
legendary Michelle L'amour.

[club music]

- So I started
doing burlesque,

and I experienced
this time of normal.

I was working a ton,
performing a ton as

a burlesque star.

I was known for this act
I do called "Butthoven."

It's a viral video,
it's gotten 10 million views.

[laughter]

[Beethoven's
Fifth Symphony begins]

[crowd laughing,
cheering, clapping]

And it's my butt cheeks playing
Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

[music]

My career was going great.

I was getting a steady
paycheck as an artist.

[crowd cheering]

And then it
started happening again.

[music]

I was losing hair,
and I was not prepared.

[crying]
And I didn't tell anybody.

I hid it.

I was going in for
steroid shots.

I would go into another
dressing room and get ready

and come out fully done,
so that nobody saw what

I was dealing with.

It just made me
feel, like, so fake.

[crying]

It was really hard to, like,
hide, and do my job,

which is portray
confidence and sexuality.

And none of those things,
I felt.

We all feel like there's
things that we can't talk

about, that we can't' share,
and these heavy burdens

that we carry.

I've worried about
them judging me,

I've worried about what
would the other burlesque

performers think about me.

I knew that I had
to talk about this,

consequences be damned,
because I could not handle

this burden anymore.

My name is Michelle L'amour,

and I am an international
burlesque performer.

I decided to make my video,
"The Big Reveal,"

and share with the world what
I was dealing with.

I need to share something
with you.

My plan was to
perform without the wig.

So I started to going to all
the venues that I worked at,

and let them in on
what was going on.

I believe that beauty is truth

[weeping]
and this is mine.

I want to encourage you to
live your truth,

and be your most naked self.

The first performance
I did without the wig,

I was very nervous.

- [emcee on stage]
She is a burlesque legend.

Will you please
welcome Michelle L'amour!

[crowd cheering, shouting]
- Oh, yeah!

- I didn't know
what was gonna happen.

[club music]

[crowd cheering]

And the response
I got was amazing.

They were so
supportive of me,

it was incredible.
I couldn't believe it.

Something opened up in me,
and it was something that

I wanted to explore and keep
growing and keep pushing,

and see what
else I could find.

[crowd cheering, applauding]

It's so funny, how much work
it takes to be yourself.

[music]

I mean, it should
be the easiest job,

but people spend
their lives trying to figure

out how to be themselves.

The people love my hair,
and they stop me on the

street and they stop me in
the bar and they yell

from their cars how much
they love my hair.

This is my vulnerability,
but I'm using it,

and it's my platform.

And it influences my work
and my art to the core.

There's good
things to be afraid of,

and there's things that
you can push through.

And you can push
through that fear.

This is why I believe that
vulnerability is strength.

When you expose yourself
in public to strangers,

there's something
inside that changes.

You've done it.
Nothing else can hurt you.

[music]

[music]

To fully own your power,
you have to fully embrace

your vulnerability.

[music]

- Swingers are seen as old,
overweight, shag-carpeting,

and smoking,
putting their keys in a bowl.

Reality is, swingers
are people of all ages,

both genders, bisexual,
straight and gay,

and they're doing
this consensually.

- I haven't fooled around
with a woman in a long time,

and I definitely prefer fooling
around with men, unfortunately.

- Of course I've slept with
females as well as males.

Like, how do I know
what I like from the buffet

without trying it all?

- I've been
with a woman once,

and it wasn't really
for me, unfortunately.

I wanted a penis,
at the end of it all.

[laughs]

- Had a threesome while
I was in a relationship,

so basically it was
barely a threesome.

It was like some naked
girl as massaging my girl,

and I could have
sex with my girl,

and then they had
sex with each other,

and then I just
awkwardly stood there.

- Having a threesome
with a couple, we had,

like, a pussy-eating contest,
and it was--I won.

He thinks he won,
but I think that I won.

- A lot of people,
they think oh, well,

you're into threesomes,
so it can't get much

crazier than that.

But crazier than
that is orgies,

so we've had more
than three before.

And I know Mackenzie
has had more than three,

before you met us.

You don't wanna talk about
that part of your life?

[laughs]

- Nope, been there,
done that.

- I've been the third
person in couples together,

and so I felt that seeing
other couples make love

and seeing how they,
like, vibe with each other,

and then just
get in the middle.

I like actually
watching things happen.

Like, I'm all like--
[laughs]

[music]

[moaning, exclaiming]

- Where can you go where,
like, you feel at home and

you feel safe,
and then you get to fuck all

the people that you
feel safe with, right?

I wanna belong
to that group.

If I told you I know exactly
how tonight's gonna go,

I'd be lying to you.
I have no idea.

- This is gonna hurt me
more than it does you.

- The best night ever--yeah!
[all cheering]

- Oh, my god.

[moaning]

[music]

[chatter]

- I'm, like,
a vodka connoisseur.

I will do the--let me
try the Georgia peach.

[all exclaiming]
- Oh!

Hey, whoa, whoa,
whoa, that aint free.

- You gotta pay the toll!
- I have to suck a toe?

- People think when
you come to a sex party,

the minute you walk in the
door, people gonna be,

"Hey, suck my dick."

And it's like that, I've
been to parties like that.

You look--oh, my god,
I have the same shoes.

- You do?

- I've had parties
for two years.

I started the parties
because I wanted to have sex.

It turned into something
completely different.

It's become a safe space
to be who you really are.

My group is like,
hey, how are you doing?

Where did you come from?
Married, moved in, what?

- We're just engaged.
- You guys just got engaged?

- No, we got engaged,
like, last May, right?

- Oh, so like a year into the
relationship,

you guys got engaged?
- We knew.

This is our second marriage.
We just knew.

We both knew that we wanted
to be in the lifestyle.

It's just who we are.

I mean, when I was--I'm talking
about, like, high school.

- I actually asked her to
marry me the second day

I met her.
- Oh, my god.

- He really did, yeah.

- Oh, my god,
I can't right now.

- She didn't--she
didn't say yes, though.

- Yes, I did.
- Oh, yeah, you did.

For us, sex with us is very
intimate between the two of us.

However, sex with others is,
to us, the same as hiking.

We just consider it--
- It's just an activity.

- --another activity.
- Yeah.

- So we do a lot of hiking--
- It's a pastime.

- --in Arizona, and
so we always say hey,

let's go--instead of hiking,
let's just have sex.

[jet whooshing]

- I'm here for a lifestyle
party, going as a single female.

Unicorns are single females
in lifestyle communities,

typically.

Which just means that
you're unattached to anyone,

that you're going to play
with couples exclusively.

I definitely look
for connection.

There has to be
either physical or emotional

or some type of mental
connection between people

who I just hang with and
people who I play with.

I don't have
any expectations.

I try not to go into any party
or situation with expectations.

I feel like it kinda
sets you up for failure.

It's been quite a while
since I've been to a party

where I knew, like,
literally absolutely no one.

But I'm pretty good with
people and meeting

new people, so I think
I'll be all right.

[music]

- We have not been part
of this lifestyle for

a really long time.

We're still trying to--
- We come from a small town,

so it's hard to find,
you know, places you can go and,

you know, experience
these type of things, because--

- Like if you walk into a
beer garden at a rodeo and say,

you know,
I think your wife's really cute,

I mean, you're gonna
get your ass kicked.

[laughs]

- You remember
how to get there?

- We have navigation.

- Were you guys in
the life before?

- Yeah.
Yeah, with our exes.

- But our exes,
we brought them in.

- We, like, dragged
them into the lifestyle.

- Kicked and screaming, right?
- Yes.

- They, like, it's so
miserable having to fuck

a bunch of other people.
- I know.

- I brought my
husband into it.

- Hello!
- Hi!

- Hi!
- We made it.

- In my group and what I do,
it's not about rushing

to have sex with each other.
That's not what it's about.

- It's so nice to meet you.

- It's about getting to
know each other and being

comfortable, and enjoying
the people that you're around.

You were in the life before.

- He was in the lifestyle,
but he was unhappy.

And, like--
- I [inaudible] --

- --I was a
unicorn at that time,

and I was used to, like,
single guys approaching

me all the time, and, like--
[music]

- Stalking is caring.

- So--
- Yeah, that's another unicorn.

[laughter]
- Hey.

- Unicorns are
always the sexiest, right?

[laughter]

They're always like, fuck you,
bitch, I'm the sexiest.

- I do think that there's
a little bit of a cocky

confidence sometimes,
to where if I show up and

I'm like, okay, I can always
have my pick of people.

For the most part,
it's super fun.

I know I can go in
and have a good time,

and not have to worry about
any type of attachment.

- Like, don't pretend you don't
know that she's fucking hot.

I hate that shit.
- Who's hot?

- Her!
- Oh.

- When you have
a hot unicorn, oh, my god.

She will walk in the door and
people will be like--yes!

When you're a hot unicorn,
the world is your oyster.

- When I got
into the lifestyle,

I see an advertisement for
a game night at a dungeon.

So I'm like, okay,
it's a dungeon,

but it's game night.

We're gonna be
playing cards,

blah, blah, blah, so I go.
- Good, Christian games.

- Right, good, Christian games.
[laughter]

- Chutes and Ladders, and--
- The first thing that I see is,

I see this man,
and he's practicing with

this single-tail whip.
And I'm looking, and I'm like,

"Fuck you,
I would never do that."

[laughter]

And then cut to the next
week--I had such a good

night at game night, I go to
one of their hardcore play

parties the following week.

And that same man with the
whip somehow had me chained

up to this giant spider web.
[laughter]

I learned that I liked it,
that I'm into pain,

that I'm into all
of this crazy stuff.

- Now, you don't
know what you're into

until you're into it.
- Yes.

- Until I found the
swinger lifestyle,

I thought I was weird.

I thought there was
something wrong with me.

And when I found the life,
it was like,

oh, this is who I am.

There's, like, a whole world
of people that are just like me,

and more importantly,
it's okay.

- Do it.
[laughter]

- I don't even know how.

- Just start--
- I will teach you.

- All right.

- No, start with a slap,
sort of like--

- Just like--yes
yeah, yeah.

- It's not working.

- It is.
[laughter]

- Now ball your fists
up and--and punch them.

- Really?
- Yes.

- This is--
- It's [inaudible] .

[laughter]

- Now this is what
aftercare is--now,

open your hands and
just massage them.

- All right--that, I can do.
- That's aftercare.

♪ You're making
me really horny, baby ♪

[music]

- We're bonding.
We're spending time tighter.

And when you realize who
you're at the party with,

you can open up.

- Okay, where's the game?
- Right here in my hands.

- Let me kiss you.
- Okay.

[laughter]

- This game
might end early.

[laughter]
- Yes!

- There's some things
that I need to get to.

In my house, in this group,
in this space,

with these people,
you can be anything,

and no one's gonna
judge you for it.

Okay, so real
quick--pick up a stick.

One side is, like,
a kinky, nasty dare--

- Ooh!
- --and one side is the truth.

- I'm choosing
Megan--truth or dare.

- Okay. Okay.
- Right, you have to choose it.

I'm gonna read you--
- Dare.

- Pretend we're in the back row
of a crowded movie theater.

Get me off with no one knowing.
Bam!

[laughter]

[music]

- I was like, oh--
- Ooh!

- --okay.
- Game on.

- Yeah.

She seemed pretty cool.

Down to Earth, and ready
to party and--

[laughter]
- Yeah.

- I was like, yes, like--
- Is it--

- I was. I--
- Areyou cool with it?

- Yeah, I'm cool with it.
- All right.

- Obviously.
I was--I was happy.

- Okay.
She fulfilled her dare.

- Well done!
[clapping]

- Well done!

Ice-breaker games get people
familiar with the people

that are in the room.

Some couples only
wanna play with couples.

Some single people only
wanna play with single people.

Me and my
husband are soft-swap.

- Okay.

- So we do
everything imaginable,

but we don't have actual
sex with other couples.

So I just wanna put that out
there so that you know--

- And what do you consider
"actual sex?"

- I can do anything
I want with a man,

but a man cannot
enter my vagina.

He can do anything with
a woman, but a woman

cannot sit on his penis.

- Before you
come to the party,

discuss your boundaries.
- Ed.

- Oh!

[all exclaiming, shrieking]

- Most people in
the life are couples.

When you're a couple,
your only responsibility is

to make sure that your
mate is happy and okay.

- You're the cop.
I've been very bad.

- Ooh.

- Get out the handcuffs
and punish me for my crimes.

- Yes, please.
[all exclaiming]

- I saw you go into the 10
items or less line with 12--

[laughter, clapping]

[slapping]

- Make sure you
get that aftercare.

- Ooh, I felt that one.
- Woo!

- Okay.

I hope you can--
- Aftercare!

- --reenter society,and--
- Yeah!

[laughter, clapping]

- Sir, I'm so sorry.

- Don't be sorry.
Just be a better person.

- Okay, I will.
I'll work on that.

- There's an openness,
everybody feels it.

It's palpable.

Even though we didn't know
all of these people here,

they had the same vibe.

- This is my signature on the
nudist colony.

[water swirling]

- Come on in!

- Watch your step,
watch your step.

[laughter]

- Mm, yes, please.

[moaning]

[music]

- I've been a part of the
lifestyle for almost two years.

I actually an answered a
Craigslist ad looking for

a naked chef for a couple,
and found out they were

into the lifestyle.

So they kinda introduced me
to parties and I found

it really fun and exciting.

- Wanna go upstairs?
- Kinda went from there.

[moaning, exclaiming]

[water splashing]

[moaning]

- Everybody lift her.
- Everybody lift her up.

- Yes, please.
Oh, yes, please, harder.

- Come on in.
- [inaudible]

- Yeah, baby, do it.

[moaning]

- Yes.
Yes, please.

Give it to me.
Oh, yes, please.

Yes, yes.

[screaming]

Please, yes, that's
it--that's it, oh [inaudible] .

- I'm good.
- Okay, good.

- Thank you so much, lover.

[music]

[moaning, exclaiming, laughing]

- It's really nice to be
around open-minded people,

people who kinda do
whatever they wanna do.

- Oh, my god.

- I kinda like that
thrill and excitement.

It's an adrenaline
rush for sure.

[moaning]

- It's just like yeah,
that's my man.

He's doing what he does
really good to somebody else.

And it turns me on,
I love it.

- I love you.
[laughter]

- I love you.

- Nice to meet you.

- What's your name again?
- Yeah, exactly.

[laughter]

- [inaudible] from big old
Texas, San Antonio.

- It's nice to have, like,
a connection with somebody

else every now and then.

It's a rush, I think, really.
- Yeah.

[crowd chattering]

- Aw.

- These people are amazing.
I think the party was great.

- Oh, are you finished?
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna enjoy
you in the afterglow.

I think it took on
a life of its own.

Everybody had a great time.

That's magical.
[fountain hissing]

[chatter]
- Hungry?

- So-
- I am.

- --yeah, let's
go get a snack.

- Let's go get a snack.

[music]

- I'm generally
more submissive,

but I've done a little
bit more domming positions,

I guess.
[laughs]

- One thing that I really
started getting into was masks.

- It's very mysterious.

- I'm probably
a pillow princess.

[laughs]

Definitely would be
considered submissive.

- I am a dominant
woman of trans experience.

I dominate by profession.

It's not a sexual thing for
me--at least it hasn't been,

up until recently.

- I do like
experiment with role-play.

I like to dress up as
different characters.

[laughs]

Speak in different voices
and just embody the whole

being of somebody else.

- Oh, I'm super-subby.
I'm such a sub.

I love being smacked around.
[laughs]

Consensually.

- Technically I qualify as
a switch because I have been

trained as a dominant and I have
been trained as a submissive.

I am dominant when
it comes to females,

submissive when it
comes to males.

- Well, sometimes we'll
play Fortnite and we'll be like,

"Let's have a Fortnite battle."
And whoever loses--

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah, we actually
do do that.

- Any game.

- Basically any game will
turn into a--

- Sex game.
- --a sex game.

- So it's like if you lose
you get cum in your mouth.

- Yeah.
- Which he hates, usually.

But he's been better
at it lately.

[laughter]
It must be love.

[music]

- BDSM is an acronym
that stands for bondage,

dominance, sadism,
and masochism.

Bondage would be getting
tied up with things like cuffs,

rope, chain, metal.

Dominance is the act of
having someone beneath you

being submissive,
overpowering them,

just dominating someone.

Sadism is the act of deriving
pleasure from inflicting

pain on somebody else.

And then masochism is
deriving the pleasure from

getting that pain
inflicted upon you.

When it comes to BDSM,
there is a power exchange,

there's a sexual
energy exchange,

and it ends with
someone cumming,

or it ends with someone
feeling so euphoric that

they're in this other place.

BDSM is like fucked-up
sex for fucked-up people.

But I mean that in a
very positive kind of way.

[music]

- Like, what do you pack
to go meet a dominatrix?

I don't really know.
But--a fireball.

That's essential.
Just the necessities.

- How she packs, how I pack.
[laughter]

- I need options, man.

- Pretty typical getting-ready
action happening here.

- Half-naked dancing,
yeah, it's fun.

Who doesn't
like to be naked?

- I'll just drink my coffee.

It's not hard to look at.

- So a week from today we'll
be meeting Mistress Justine.

Are you excited?
- Are you excited?

- Or are you nervous--which one?
- Definitely nervous.

- Yeah, it's gonna be--
- I'm nervous--

- --for the experience.
- --because I think she's

a badass, and I'm
used to being the badass.

[laughs]
- True.

It'll be fun.
New experiences, you know?

Like, we'll see.

- Are you ready
to get fucked?

[laughter]

- Bye, we're done.

- That's what
you're nervous about.

So we're on our way to the
airport to get on a plane

and fly across the country.

What would you say
you're most excited to try?

- It's gonna sound
weird, but I--I at wanna

try the electric stuff.

I'm just--I'm really curious of,
like, what kinda pleasure you

could get out of
something like that.

- Off we go!
Hope we don't die!

- I'm ready for a drink.
- Oh, yeah.

- To relax, and unpack.
- That sounds great.

- Leticia and I met in 2000.

We've been
married for 16 years,

and together for
almost 19 years.

- We met when I was
straight outta high school,

and he's four
years older than me.

And he had just
joined the Air Force.

I was, like, a wild
child with my friends,

and driving in a
Mustang convertible, dancing.

And him and his friend
happened to be driving by,

and they thought we
were waving at them,

and we weren't.

So they followed us,
and we ended up meeting

up at a gas station.

- I am a very shy
person naturally,

so I didn't get out.

- No, he sent his
ugly friend over.

And we're like oh,
god, but the driver is hot.

So I'm like, let's go
because that one's cute.

We went back to his dorm room
on base and hung out, and--

- Three days
later she called,

and we went on our first date.
- Yep.

You said always, from the
first date you met me--like,

I came into your
dorm and you were like,

"That's the girl
I'm gonna marry."

- Absolutely.
- And then I was hooked.

[excited whimpering]

Let's get ready.
I'm ready.

- You excited?
- I'm so excited.

The first 10 years
of our marriage,

it was very frequent.

I don't think we
were that adventurous, really.

It was just frequent.

- We both work in
high-stress jobs.

It makes for not a lot
of time together at home.

And with work
and three kids,

we definitely have to try
to focus on making time

for each other
throughout the weeks,

and really
coordinate our schedules.

- Are you nervous
about anything?

- Yeah, I'm pretty nervous.

Like, I was
good until, like,

now it's becoming real.

- I am desiring
it much less,

and it's caused
so many arguments.

- Do you have any goals?

Have you, like,
set any goals?

- To have a good time,
like I do every day of my life.

- I think I'm just gonna go
with it and not be afraid,

and just put it
all out there.

Why not?

- You're not afraid of your
butthole getting fucked?

Ooh, I'm gonna do it.
[laughs]

- One way to spice up our
sex life again is to bring

something new to push us
outside our comfort zones.

That's kinda what brought
us to go to Mistress Justine

and try this new thing out.

- We went through a period
where we did start to get

more adventurous.

We went and
bought more toys,

and we were into butt
stuff, and it became

a little more exciting.

- How many butt toys do
you have to have in here?

Butt plugs and--
- The butt's important, man,

don't neglect the butt.
[laughs]

- We bought the toys,
we made that effort,

but to continue to do
it has been difficult.

- I mean, what do you
wear to meet a dominatrix?

We are looking
for that excitement,

and I think that's what
kinda led us to BDSM.

- Like, don't they usually
wear, like, black stuff?

Like, I have black jeans,
I could wear black jeans.

- Well, they do, but
we're not the experts.

I think I'm drawn to
BDSM because of the

pain/pleasure, the
curiosity there.

I mean, I totally
watch tons of BDSM porn,

and that's super hot.

Like, rape porn
is my favorite.

- That seems kinda fucked up.

- I like the idea
of hurting people.

[music]

Because I am a
very dominant woman,

I like to be in
control of everything.

- So going to BDSM maybe
will help me to not take

everything so
seriously like I always do.

- I just like the uncharted
territory aspect of it.

- Crazy, crazy [inaudible].
[laughs]

- This is crazy,
this is crazy.

But shots, I need shoots.

Coming to LA is all
about the new experience.

Can't be sober.

It's just about us
sharing something

we've never done before.
We need a push.

Cheers!
- Ugh.

- That's not "ugh,"
it's delicious.

[laughter]

Baby. Pussy.

- You realize that we
definitely have different

sexual appetites, right?

- Sex has become
a box to check.

It's not about bonding, it's
not about excitement anymore,

it's about oh,
you wanna cum?

You wanna cum?

Okay, sure,
let's get this done.

- I mean, obviously it's
caused arguments and fights

and stuff--
- But I think today,

going in to Mistress Justine
who--and introduce us to things,

that would
improve our sex life.

You know, in the bedroom
that would work for us.

This neighborhood kinda sets the
tone for a dungeon, though.

[laughs]

It's kinda dark
and mysterious.

I'm a little scared.
- Let's go.

[car door closes]

- [squeals]
Let's run.

[laughs]

I'm getting the
wrong kind of wet.

[beeping]

- There you go.
- Okay.

[laughter]

[music]

- Mistress Justine Cross.

I am a professional dominatrix.

I've been a dominatrix
for over 10 years,

and it's something that I've
always had in my personal life,

as far as dating.

You know, I've
always been a bitch.

So what it means
professionally is that

people are coming in to
pay me for an experience,

and to be a part
of their fantasy.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Welcome to the dungeon.

- Hi.

[indiscernible chatter]

- Hello.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

- So the service that
I provide is individual

sessions with
people or couples,

and that can be arranged
from either being very

hands-on in a scene,
or it could be something

more instructional.

I'm just teaching people how
to tie someone up safely,

how to hit someone safely,
those kinds of things.

In terms of
Chad and Leticia,

they've been together for
a while and they want me to

kinda spice up their marriage,
or show them some new tips

and tricks in the studio,
or things that

I do that are different.

Have you been to any
other dungeons before?

- No.
- Never.

- Okay, this is the best one,
so you're good.

[laughter]

Obviously, it's very
different from other dungeons,

if you've looked them up.

All the furniture is
custom-made for us,

and that's why it's all white.

You can rent the
space for overnight,

and I also have toys here.

This is a St. Andrew's cross.

The big X, we can tie
someone up either facing in

or facing outward,
and, you know,

you have access to
someone's entire body.

Over here is the
bondage bed and cage.

Over here is our
spanking horse.

All the furniture is
easy for beginners.

- This is something totally new.
[laughter]

- Yeah, it's a lot to take in.

- I don't even
know where to start, like--

- I don't either.
[laughter]

- I'm sure there's lots
of things we've--

- Never.
- We have limited experience.

- Yeah, yeah.

[music]

These are different
kinds of floggers,

and these things
are called the tails.

Depending on what kind of
material that's made out of,

it gives a different feel
in the impact when you're

hitting someone.

This is leather, this is latex.
Same thing with a paddle.

Like, this is not gonna hurt
you as much as something

like this is, which is
a solid metal paddle.

Or this is acrylic.
Those hurt way more.

And then these are
some other custom metal

restraints that we have.

Spreader bars, or like this
would go around your head

and our arms, or this
around your ankles.

Canes are my favorite.

They're also the most
painful we have--

- That's what I thought, yeah.
- Yeah, they hurt a lot.

I love the hurty things.
I'm a sadist, so.

- I wanna know what all
of these things feel like,

at least once.

- Oh, you can just
try all of them, that's fine.

We can do that.

Is there anything on here
that you don't wanna use on you?

- Are you scared?

- Something that
hurts really badly.

[laughs]
- Okay.

Well, it all hurts really badly.

You know, like,
it all can hurt.

- So you wanted to start
by using it on me first?

- I think so.
- Okay.

- I have been
playing for over 10 years,

so I'm obviously
very experienced.

So some toys surprise you.

It feels pretty soft.

This actually packs more
of a sting than you would think.

They came in thinking we know
that we're kind of into this,

and we have some ideas,
but we're not entirely sure.

And that's totally fine.

We all have to
start somewhere.

So usually for those
kinds of clients I say, well,

we're gonna do an omakase,
and we're just gonna kind

of try a bunch of
different things,

and we'll
see what you like.

And if you like this, we'll
keep going in this direction.

And if you don't like this, we
will not go in that direction.

- I like the idea of pain
once I'm already turned on.

- Do you wanna
practice first hitting him,

and then see if
you get turned on,

and then he can
practice hitting you?

- That sounds more like it.
[laughter]

- Okay, we can do that.
- Yeah.

- I think that it is going
to be 50/50 on how I feel

about you hitting me.

- Yeah, I'm wondering--is it
gonna make your dick hard,

or is it just gonna be painful.

[laughs]
- Yeah.

- All right, so--no, no,
we're gonna be over there.

Don't put your shoes there,
put your shoes over there.

- When she flipped to that
mistress and became

very dominant, oh, that,
like, totally turned me on.

Her voice changed, and
the way she talked to you,

I was like, oh.

It was like a direct
link to my vagina.

- Are you nervous?
It's okay.

I don't care what
you have to say.

And then why don't you
get down on your knees.

And why don't you
start saying things like,

"Yes, Mistress."
- Yes, Mistress.

- Yeah, it's more fun
when you play along, you know.

- I was totally taken back.

I'm in this situation,
but I was definitely not

expecting that to
happen I was thinking what the

did I just get myself into?

[laughter]
Like, holy shit.

- Okay, so...

not so much a paddle,

but this is sort of
like this flogger.

So this is made
out of silicone,

so it's a little bit stingier.
[slapping]

- When Mistress
Justine started hitting me,

giving up that much control
to somebody you've just met,

doing that is way outside my
comfort zone--way outside.

It took a little bit for me
to kinda mentally escape,

but I definitely got there.

The pain feels good.
It's weirdly relaxing.

- Was it relaxing?
- It was.

- What?

- It was--to me,
it became relaxing.

- We just wanna stay up
here on the shoulders.

You don't wanna do,
like, the kidneys,

but you can do the
butt or thigh and stuff.

[laughter]

- [whispers]
Sorry.

- I realized that I am attracted
to giving up control to you.

It actually does
really turn me on.

[smacking]

I like that.

- I think she wants to go
until you say "mercy"

I think is the thing.

[laughs]

Like, it felt good,
but I needed more.

It's just all this
energy is so primal.

Oh, I love it.
It was really a turn-on.

- Mercy.
[laughter]

- You've never
used a flogger before?

- Nope.

- Mm-hmm, that's great.

- I think for me,
experimenting with BDSM,

the excitement lies in
being somebody I'm not.

[music]

You know,
playing that role.

- One thing I am curious to
find out is that by trying

me being more dominant and
you being less dominant,

if it will change things.

- Can you do
more on my butt, please?

- More on your butt?
- Yeah.

[smacking]
Harder.

- I feel comfortable enough
to give up a little bit of

control in the bedroom.

- Harder.
[laughter]

- It's not like I want to
walk you around on a leash,

kinda like Sub/dom relationship.

It's more of an
experimenting with you

relinquishing control
to letting me provide you

pleasure through pain.

[smacking]

- I think the thing is, like,
after so many minutes,

you're like, okay,
can you just put your penis

in me now, because ugh.
[laughter]

I was nervous about
giving up control to him.

[smacking]

Like, what turns me on is
getting to the point where

I'm like okay, okay, stop,
you know?

- Yeah.

- You're telling
him what toy to use,

how hard, when to stop.

And it is about
your pleasure.

He's in control of it,
but so are you.

And that gave me
a lot of comfort,

because that's
where my hang-up

has sort of been.
He's in control.

But realizing when you're
roleplaying like that,

it still is 50/50.
- Mm-hmm.

You good?
- Yeah, I think I'm done.

- Okay.

- Electro-play is any kind
of kink or BDSM toy they're

using electricity with.

The sort of beginner
level are things like wands.

It's like the gateway
drug into electro-play.

This is completely safe to
use anywhere on your body.

If you wanna try this,
like super-low.

[wand buzzing]

It's more fun
on other places, so.

[laughter]
- Oh.

- Now that's like
all the way up,

so that's just on your arm.

It's sort of like a very tense,
like, static.

You wanna try?
- Yes, Mistress.

- Okay.

I really like using it
on people's nipples,

it's very sensitive.

You can run it
up their thighs.

[wand buzzing]

It's just electricity--you're
feeling literally sparks.

- Does it feel good?

- Actually, it
does--that's weird.

[laughter]

- I forget how much I like
seeing your reactions to things,

because we
never do these sort of, like--

- It can be a
little bit painful,

but the pain level
isn't super high.

[wand buzzing]

- I mean, if you kept doing
that, it would have

definitely got me hard.

Yeah, that's erotic.

- Because usually people are
really into it because

it's a completely
different sensation.

- Ooh.
[wand buzzing]

- I can feel that.

My favorite part of the
whole experience was

the electro-machine.

[wand buzzing]

The anticipation
was the best part.

- Yeah.

- Like when I was--I
had my eyes closed,

and I was just like, oh--
Run it between my legs,

like over my pussy.

He was just taking a
little wand and rubbing it.

Like, it was most intense
when he was doing it,

like, between my thighs.

The difference between through
clothing and on the skin is--

- Yeah.
- --incredibly different.

- Yeah.

- You know, so we could
actually be totally naked

and use it
directly on our skin.

Anticipating, like,
where is he gonna touch,

how far up is he gonna go.

He would run it over my
panties, and it would, like,

touch my clit and go
between my legs.

And it was just like he
would pull it off and then

he'd put it back on, and
it was just like this--this

intense tingling.

And it was like
a little bit of pain,

but--and it was just, like,
evoking these tingles.

Almost like a fire.
That was intense.

I've never felt
anything like that.

- Are you good?
- Yeah, I like it.

[laughter]

- For Leticia and Chad,
what I see in their future

is definitely
purchasing a neon wand.

[wand buzzing]

Because it's something
very different that,

you know, really no
one has in their house.

It's just something else
that they can explore and

do different things with.

Then expand on even
getting more toys and more

pleasure out of it.

- [gasping, laughing]

Oh, that's cool.

Whoa.
- Definitely a winner.

- People have a lot of
misconception about BDSM,

but really, it's just this
awesome way to explore your

fantasies safely if
you do it correctly.

- Well, thank you both
so much for coming in and

trusting me with your
fantasies and your bodies.

- I feel like it's like a
once-in-a-lifetime thing.

- Yeah.

- You come back,
we'll be here later.

[laughter]
- Thanks.

- For Leticia
and Chad's BDSM,

this is just something else
to add a little kick to it.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Thank you.

- That's all going to
improve your sex life.

- Who needs a flogger,
we have a--

- We'll try it.

- So I encouraged
them to do that more.

- So are you pleased
with how it all went.

- Definitely.

Some of those people, it's
just about the domination/sub

type thing.
- Mm-hmm.

- Like for us, the ultimate
goal is to have sex.

- To make our sex better.

- So I think I took two things
away from this experience.

The first one is to
obviously be more comfortable.

I'm letting my guard down,
and being open to try new

things in the bedroom.

I think for a long time
we've tried to hard to make

it not boring, but we haven't
changed what we're doing.

One of our struggles was I was
pushing for sex all the time.

The frequency was,
like, a big deal to me,

as opposed to
valuing the quality of it.

And what I learned from
using the BDSM and

the foreplay and the
teasing and the flogging and

all that is that we
can have better sex,

but doing it less often.

We have to, like, take the time,
put it on our schedule,

block two hours that we're
going to spend time and really,

really use all those toys.

And definitely part
of it is not trying to

bone her every day.
[laughs]

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

[laughter]

[music]

[slapping]

Whenever I get frustrated,
just say, you know what,

it's not about, like,
I gotta have sex today or

not having sex today.

It's about us finding
a time where we wanna have

desirable sex with each other,
and make it meaningful,

that we both enjoy.
- Aw--I love it.

- Having that
buildup with the BDSM,

I think that's, like,
the key right there.

- Tease me so much
that I'm begging for it.

That's what I want.
- Exactly.

- That's the build-up we need.

Like, that's the aspect of
BDSM that's gonna work for us.

That's excellent foreplay,
and then I need the dick.

[moaning]

It all boils down
to that for me.

There was an intensity there
that you don't normally

experience on
a day-to-day basis.

- I think we
scratched the surface.

I think the more
we do it, I think it will just

get more intense.

Thing for me too is like
I feel like there was desire

between both of us.

- I feel so close to you.

I feel connected to you,
I feel really good about

us as a couple.

And that's not something
we've said a lot lately.

[moaning]

[music]

I came, he came,
we tried new things.

- It was a successful.
- It was fantastic.

[laughs]

[music]