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Britain, Britain, Britain.
2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,920
The land that gave the world so much -
3
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:11,640
mad cow disease, happy slappin
and Sky One's Dream Team.
4
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,000
But who are what live here, sir?
5
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,000
Come with m
as we meet the inhabitants of Little Britain.
6
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,040
Do you really like it? Is it wicked?
7
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,600
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it, like that.
8
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:36,200
This is Vicky Pollard
She's one of Britain's most beautiful women.
9
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,320
Are you the news Asian?
10
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,040
- Yeah
- Do you like do the lottery here or somethin'?
11
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,040
You can buy your ticket here.
12
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,440
l don't need to. l've won the whole jackpot.
13
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,520
- Really
- Yeah, l got my ticket here.
14
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,040
lt's a Saturday one, cos the money'
well nothing on a Wednesday.
15
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,200
lt's only a million quid. l've won i
and if Colleen McGovern says l'm lying
16
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,920
don't listen to her, she's got a nut allergy.
17
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,600
One time l gave her a peanut Revel
l told her it was coffee and she ate it
18
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,240
and she nearly died and she blamed me for it.
19
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,600
l said ''lt's not my fault you're so ga
you can't eat a peanut.''
20
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,920
You made this yourself.
21
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:18,040
No, but, yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but, no
but, yeah, but, no, but yeah, no, but, yeah, but,
22
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:22,200
no, but, yeah, but l didn't, but l did
but l didn't because l couldn't
23
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,800
because l was busy doin
two million hours community service
24
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,000
and l couldn't have made it, mysel
even if l wanted to
25
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,720
cos l can't read or write because l'm lexdiclec.
26
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,440
Stop wasting my time.
27
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,840
Oh, my God, l so can't believe you said that.
28
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You're actually owe m
50 billion or something.
29
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,520
Your ticket is not valid.
30
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,320
All right. Ten million quid and a bag of Discos.
31
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:46,600
Out.
32
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,440
500 quid and a Kinder Surprise?
33
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,440
- Go
- A four-pack of Breezers?
34
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:51,520
- No
- Chop?
35
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,320
- No
- Bag of Skips and l'll give you a gob-job.
36
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,320
Oh, my God, you have so lost a good customer
l am always in here robbin'.
37
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,800
l don't even want it.
38
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:09,800
And as for that...
39
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,640
Over at Hill Grange, former mistres
of Prince Philip, Bubbles De Vere
40
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,800
is undergoing some acupuncture.
41
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,640
l tell you, Vera, darling
l can't wait to see the back of both of them.
42
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,000
Just as well Miss Bubble
cos l just saw them leaving.
43
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,520
What?
44
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,320
Fretel, flish, funting.
45
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,240
lf we could have the luggag
in the Merc, please.
46
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,040
l see you're leaving us early, Mr De Vere.
47
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,640
- Yeah, l'm afraid so
- Yes, that bitch has ruined our honeymoon.
48
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,720
- Oh, please don't make a scene
- l'll make a scene if l want to, baby.
49
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,120
You didn't even come to say goodbye.
50
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,440
l was going to
l thought it was better if we just slipped away.
51
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,520
l see.
52
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,640
Goodbye then, Roman.
53
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,600
Goodbye, Bubbles.
54
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,120
Hold me, Roman, one last time.
55
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,120
- l can't
- Why not, darling?
56
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,520
Cos you're covered in needles.
57
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,040
But Roman!
58
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:22,200
He's staying with me, Bubby
he's mine,all mine.
59
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,920
Britain can proudly boast the dirtiest beaches
the most disappointing views
60
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,800
and some of the flattest hills in the world,
61
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,320
but still, some Briton
choose to book holidays abroad.
62
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:45,320
l'd like a round the world cruise, please
Leaving in March, returning September,
63
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,800
travelling first class for about 700.
64
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,040
Computer says ''Yes''.
65
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,440
# What's the story, Balamory
wouldn't you like to know? #
66
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,600
Meanwhile, in Herby
Lou has something upsetting to tell Andy.
67
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,240
- Hello
- How's your toast?
68
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,120
Too buttery.
69
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,520
Now, you remember l told yo
my mum was very ill?
70
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,120
Yeah, l know.
71
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,720
Well, l'm sorry to sa
that she passed off during the night.
72
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,520
l can't see the telly.
73
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:36,920
Oh, sorry.
74
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,440
So, l'm gonna have to go bac
to the Isle of Wight for a few days
75
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,440
to look after my da
and sort out all the funeral arrangements.
76
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,240
So selfish. What about me?
77
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:52,200
Well, l've spoken to social services and arrange
some temporary cover for the week.
78
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,520
But l like it when you're here.
79
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,720
l'm sure the lad
they'll be sending will be very nice.
80
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,440
- Oh, she's early.
81
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,520
Hello, you must be Mrs Mead.
82
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,920
- l've no time for niceties, where is he
- Just through here.
83
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,720
Good morning, Mr Pipkin.
84
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,840
Andy, this is Mrs Mead.
85
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,320
l don't like her.
86
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,320
Come on, Andy, don't be rude.
87
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,720
l don't care whether he likes me or not.
88
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,520
Well, l better be off.
89
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,920
Here are the keys, Mrs Mead
l'll call you in a few days.
90
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,000
Bye, Andy.
91
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,600
Don't go.
92
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,720
This place is a pigsty.
93
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,800
We're going to clear it up.
94
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,600
You do the bottom shelf and l'll do the top.
95
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:44,920
Come on.
96
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,120
Next, we visit Old Haven
97
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,840
where transvestite Emily Howar
is relaxing at home with a book.
98
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:57,520
I like to relax by saying crue
and hurtful things to my elderly mother.
99
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,640
One moment, dear.
100
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,040
Florence.
101
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,640
lt's... Fred.
102
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,120
What are you dressed as
You look most peculiar.
103
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,800
- We need to talk
- Well, come in then.
104
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,520
Look, l can't stop
l just came to say goodbye really.
105
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,520
Goodbye?
106
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,320
The wife came home from the pu
and found me trying on her wedding dress.
107
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,720
- She hit the roof. Says she's had enough
- But together we fooled the world.
108
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:37,400
Everywhere we went people were enchanted b
our feminine charms and beauty and shit.
109
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,440
You were always better at it than me anyway.
110
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:44,440
- But we have..
- Stop. Maureen's in the car, l better go. Sorry.
111
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,920
One moment, l...have something for you.
112
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,000
- What is it
- Un petit moment.
113
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,000
- Come on, Fred
- Won't be a minute, love.
114
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,120
Oh, it's silk.
115
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,120
Yes, antique.
116
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,640
lt's very nice but l couldn't possibly...
117
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,520
You love it.
118
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,120
You know you love it.
119
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,320
Well, perhaps l...
120
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,920
..could just try it on for a moment.
121
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,720
Come in Florence, my dear.
122
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,240
Thank you, my lady.
123
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:24,600
Maureen?
124
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:25,920
Yes?
125
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,920
If you are d young person who wishes to ea
only chilli con carne for three years
126
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:39,920
and then spend the rest of your life in debt
why not go to university?
127
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,320
l want to defer a year because l decide
to run for Student Union President.
128
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:51,120
Oh, good luck. l think there's a for
you need to fill in. Martin'll know.
129
00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:00,920
Martin, it's Linda, is there a form you nee
to fill in if you want to defer a year?
130
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:02,920
lt's Roland Burrel.
131
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,520
How can l describe him?
132
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,520
Glasses, colourful shirts, not keen on salad.
133
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,440
Think Eddie Murphy and the Clumps.
134
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,640
Makes you want to sa
''Roland, l only want to help you, Roland.''
135
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,920
Would make a great Barry Whit
on Stars In Their Eyes.
136
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,520
That's right, Fatty, Fatty Boom, Boom.
137
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,720
He said just go straight up.
138
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,040
- Thanks a lot
- Pleasure.
139
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,120
# Hey fatty boom boom
140
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:37,920
# Sweet sugar dumplin'... #
141
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,200
Mary, mother of God, look at that
this candlestick holder's filthy.
142
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:48,120
- It looks like it's never been cleaned at all
- Yeah, l know.
143
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,800
You've been in that chair for many years
have you?
144
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,920
Yeah.
145
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,400
The lord works in mysterious ways.
146
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,640
And you've no feeling in your legs whatsoever?
147
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,800
No.
148
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,920
You can't feel this?
149
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,320
No.
150
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,320
What about this?
151
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,440
No.
152
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,200
Not even this?
153
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,200
No.
154
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,120
You poor thing.
155
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,120
Right, l need some more Brasso.
156
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,320
If you think you might become il
in six weeks' time,
157
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:40,200
then why not boon an appointment toda
with your local GP?
158
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,800
Carla, would you bring the next patient in
please? Thank you.
159
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,200
Ah, Mrs Emery, nice to see you again.
160
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,000
Hello, Doctor. It's bitter out.
161
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,400
Yes. So, what seems to be the trouble?
162
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,040
l've got a bit of a problem, Doctor.
163
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,400
Right.
164
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,920
lt's my knee, it's a little bit sore.
165
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,040
Right, well, we better have a look at you
hadn't we? Stand up over here...
166
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,200
Right.
167
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,920
Ah, yes, it does look a little swollen
Have you banged it at all?
168
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:16,120
Well, the other night, l knelt down
169
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:21,400
and l must've put too much weigh
on my knee because l felt something go.
170
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,200
You sure it's just the knee troubling you?
171
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,120
Yes, just the knee, Doctor.
172
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,640
Right, if you could just sit down for me.
173
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,720
Oh, that's a nice painting - is it a Turner?
174
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,000
Ah, yes, yes it is. Please, sit.
175
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,520
Oh, chair's a bit damp.
176
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,040
l'll give you pheroxydycillin
which is an anti-inflammatory.
177
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:50,040
lf the swelling hasn't gone down in a week
come back and see me again.
178
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,600
Thank you, Doctor.
179
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,800
Mrs Emery...are you sur
there's nothing else troubling you?
180
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,720
l can't think of anything.
181
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,920
Bit of water retentio
but otherwise l'm fine. Cheerio.
182
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,920
No, this isn't a zoo. These are not elephants.
183
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,400
They are in fact human beings.
184
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,320
Don't get too carried away
she's still a monster.
185
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,840
As we pay our final visit to Fat Fighters.
186
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,720
Pat. She's such a pretty face, isn't she
in the middle there.
187
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:36,040
Oh, you've gone up two pounds
Oh, dear, it's not easy, is it?
188
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,040
D'you wanna someho
drag yourself back to your seat?
189
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:45,920
Your problem is, Pat, you're a classi
yo-yo dieter. You go up and down.
190
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:51,320
See, you got your good foods over here
you got your lettuce, your Ryvita, your dust
191
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,720
and over here you've got your bad foods
chocolate, crisps, cake...
192
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,040
She fat because she love the cake.
193
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,920
..with you stuck in the middl
yo-yoing between the two.
194
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,200
Marjorie, you've drawn me as a pig.
195
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,720
Oh, sorry.
196
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,240
D'you know what? l don't need this any more.
197
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,720
l'm not losing weight. Every time l com
you're horrible to me, l've had enough.
198
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,720
What? Don't go.
199
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,200
Well, apologise. Say sorry, then.
200
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,800
Say what?
201
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,120
Say sorry.
202
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,600
What?
203
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,440
Say sorry.
204
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:35,920
No, l can't. Do it again.
205
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,920
- Say sorry
- Do it again.
206
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,040
- Say sorry
- Do it again.
207
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,440
- Say sorry
- Do it again.
208
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,800
Say sorry to her.
209
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,720
You want me to say sorry
Why didn't you say that?
210
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,320
- l did
- Do it again.
211
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,320
- l did
- Do it again.
212
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,640
l did.
213
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,520
- Do it again
- l did.
214
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,920
- Do it again
- l'm waiting for an apology.
215
00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,320
- l'll come back to you, my love
- l don't see why you can't just say sorry.
216
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,200
Yeah, come on.
217
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,240
- l can, l can say sorry
- Well, go on then.
218
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,320
l'm gonna say it any minute now.
219
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,920
- Well, say it
- l'm about to.
220
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,040
Go on.
221
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,600
- l didn't hear that.
222
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,200
Well, l said it, so...
223
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,520
We didn't hear it either. Come on, let's go.
224
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,120
l'm gonna say it, l'm gonna say it, l'm gonna
say it. l'm gonna say it, l'm gonna say it.
225
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:32,600
Pat...
226
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,520
l...am very...
227
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,240
sorry...
228
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,840
that you're so fat!
229
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,600
Oh, no, it just came out.
230
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,640
- l'm not putting up with this
- You're so rude.
231
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,840
Don't worry, we are not coming back.
232
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,600
Do it again.
233
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,400
l need some new members.
234
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,640
Back in her office, Linda is taking a tea break.
235
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:09,920
Mm, lovely biscuit.
236
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,200
Come in.
237
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,720
Hello, what's all this about?
238
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,320
- We've come to complain
- About what?
239
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,520
- About the way you talk about us
- It's really insulting.
240
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,520
l don't know what you mean. What have l said?
241
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,520
Ching Chong Chinaman.
242
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,200
Fatty, Fatty Boom, Boom.
243
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,520
Molly The mole.
244
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:42,840
Ali Bongo.
245
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,120
Mick Hucknall.
246
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,520
Magnum, pi.
247
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,840
Oompa Loompa.
248
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,200
Big fat lesbian.
249
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,320
Baldie!
250
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,000
Your point being?
251
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,920
We want to make an official complaint.
252
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,920
Well, l'm shocked.
253
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,520
Let's get Martin down here no
and sort out this awful mess.
254
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,720
Martin, it's Linda.
255
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:18,320
l've got the whole cast of Fraggle Rock here
they're not happy.
256
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,720
Do you keep d used tissue up your sleeve?
257
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:28,040
If so, you are an old perso
and probably live in a home like this.
258
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,320
Hello, Mr Jeffreys, how are we today?
259
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:32,600
Very good.
260
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,120
- You having trouble with that
- Oh, yeah.
261
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,120
Let me help you.
262
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,920
Mm, that's better.
263
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,840
Oh, thank you.
264
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,920
You barely touched your stew.
265
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,040
There's your puddin'.
266
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,520
- l'm not good with fruit
- It's good for you.
267
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,720
Lou always lets me have a choc ice.
268
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,440
Lou's not here, is he?
269
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,600
And l'm allowed to watch Des and Mel.
270
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,640
There'll be no Des in this fla
and no Mel neither.
271
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,520
Television rots the mind.
272
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,920
We'll make our own entertainment.
273
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,840
Two, three, four.
274
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,440
# Onward Christian soldiers
275
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,520
# Marching as to war
276
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:27,640
- Don't like it
- # With the cross of Jesus
277
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,320
# Going on before
278
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:31,720
Please stop.
279
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,240
# Christ, the royal master
280
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,920
# Leads against the foe
281
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,120
- You're making my ears hurt now
- # Forward into battle
282
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,520
# See his banners go #
283
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,720
Now...let us pray.
284
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,840
Oh, God!
285
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:59,520
Now we return to Llandewi Brefi and the loca
pub of bum-troubler Dafydd Thomas.
286
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,320
Hello, Dafydd. Bacardi and Coke?
287
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,920
No, thank you, Myfanwy, l've not stopped b
for a drink, l've come to say goodbye.
288
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,200
Oh, yes?
289
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,400
Yes, Myfanwy, l'm leaving the village forever.
290
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,520
Forever?
291
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,720
Llandewi Brefi is not the plac
for an out gay man. Yeah, l'm gay, get over it!
292
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,920
Well, where are you going?
293
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:29,520
London.
294
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:33,000
With my physique l'll be abl
to get myself a job as a go-go dancer.
295
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,920
Where are you gonna stay?
296
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:41,000
At the YMCA. Apparently you can hav
a good meal, you can get yourself clean
297
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,640
and you can hang out with all the guys.
298
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,520
Well, good for you, Dafydd.
299
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,720
l'm gonna live the gay dream, Myfanwy.
300
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:52,720
l'm gonna go to gay bars and drink gay drinks
l'm gonna ride gay buses
301
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:57,520
and if l get peckish, Myfanwy
l'll just open up a packet of gay biscuits.
302
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,120
Gay biscuits?
303
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,240
This is London, Myfanwy, everything's gay.
304
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,040
And you're sure it's what you really want?
305
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:11,520
Oh, Myfanwy, l've known l was ga
since l was 22 - it's all l've ever dreamed of.
306
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,920
Come on then, l'll walk you to the station.
307
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,600
Thank you, Myfanwy.
308
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,520
Well, l'm going, everybody.
309
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,920
Well done, you've won
a victory for the bigots.
310
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,120
l wonder how many mor
beautiful young gay men
311
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,520
will be driven away from this villag
by your scorn.
312
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:37,240
Well, none obviously, cos l am the only one.
313
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,040
This case is quite heavy, Dafydd.
314
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,920
Well, it would be, yes, Myfanwy
but l'm gay you see.
315
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,400
l can't really carry heavy objects.
316
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,920
No.
317
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,320
Well, l'm gonna miss you.
318
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,320
l guess you're doing the right thing.
319
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:58,320
Just think, this time tomorrow, you could be in
night-club heaving with young men like G-A-Y.
320
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,720
ls that a gay club?
321
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,040
Yes, l think so.
322
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,240
l don't think l'll be going out on the first night
Myfanwy.
323
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,240
You've gotta get out there, Dafydd
have yourself a bit of todger.
324
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,520
- l don't think that's going to happen
- Of course it is.
325
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,520
There's loads of gay guys in London.
326
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,600
You won't be the only gay any more.
327
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,000
- No
- No, it'll be brilliant.
328
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,400
Right, well, this is as far as l can go.
329
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:27,800
Good luck, Dafydd.
330
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,120
Don't forget to write.
331
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,120
Goodbye, Myfanwy.
332
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:49,120
Doesn't look like l'm gonna get to Londo
after all. l just missed the last train.
333
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,040
The last train to London will arriv
at Platform One in five minutes.
334
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,720
Bacardi and Coke?
335
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,520
Yes, please, Myfanwy.
336
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,400
l'll go tomorrow.
337
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,520
Yes, of course you will.
338
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,800
Take that.
339
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,040
In Gash, just adjacent to the tow
of Cocoa Passage,
340
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,840
is this hospital run by Doctor Lawrence.
341
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,120
We always celebrate Christma
here at the hospital
342
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:32,920
and this year, one of our patients, Anne
has kindly offered to decorate the Day Room.
343
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,200
l don't know if you've met Anne
have you met Anne?
344
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,640
Mm. It's just through here
Let's see how she's getting on.
345
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,320
Hello, Anne. How are you getting on?
346
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,000
Have you done the tree?
347
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,240
Ooh, what have you decorated it with?
348
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,520
Fish fingers - that's...different.
349
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,840
Well, thank you very much, Anne.
350
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,640
Anne's got some mistletoe
Do you want to kiss Doctor Beagrie?
351
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,600
You don't mind, do you?
352
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,800
Don't you just love Christmas?
353
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:41,720
It's approaching Nightington and in Bruise
man Dudley Punt is on his way home.
354
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,320
#..happy talk
355
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,840
# Talk about things you'd like to do #
356
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,120
Ting Tong, l'm home.
357
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:54,600
Ting Tong?
358
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,120
Table for one, sir?
359
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,040
What the hell's going on?
360
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,520
Please take a seat, sir.
361
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,040
l'm afraid we out of tom yam soup.
362
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,440
Where's Ting Tong? l wanna see Ting Tong.
363
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,800
l think manageress is bus
but l will check for you.
364
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,920
Hello, Mr Dudley
l take it everything to your liking.
365
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,320
No, it bloody isn't. You've turned me bloody fla
into a Thai bloody palace.
366
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,040
- Please, Mr Dudley, we do have other diners
- l only nipped out to the offie.
367
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,600
- Thank you
- Thank you, come again.
368
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,040
No, don't come again.
369
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,240
- Ting Tong, we need to talk
- l terribly sorry, Mr Dudley,
370
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,240
we have a crisis with the sticky rice balls
my brother look after you.
371
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:42,920
Brother?
372
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,520
The kitchen about to close, sir
are you ready to order?
373
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,400
l don't want anything.
374
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,640
ln that case, thank you very much, sir
please come again soon.
375
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,440
Thank you, sir.
376
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,720
The mints are for customers only.
377
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,800
Sorry.
378
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,000
Thank you, sir.
379
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,400
# Happy talking, talking, happy talk #
380
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,200
After a brief photo call with his wife...
381
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,120
Give him a kiss.
382
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,600
Go on, give him a kiss.
383
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,720
Oh, sorry, l thought you meant me. Sorry.
384
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:42,440
..the Prime Minister has a long overdue meetin
with the Chancellor.
385
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,120
- So, the time has come
- Yes, l know.
386
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,240
- We had a deal, Prime Minister
- And l'll stick to it.
387
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,800
l'll announce my resignation today and th
party will vote for a new leader on Thursday.
388
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,600
You should be Prime Minister by the weekend.
389
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,600
What?!
390
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,440
Robert and l had a deal - tha
l would stand down before the next election.
391
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,920
- Yeah, but you didn't mean it, did you
- l gave him my word.
392
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,120
l want the transition of powe
to run as smooth as possible.
393
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,720
Sebastian, you will now work for m
as the Prime Minister's aide.
394
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,240
No, thanks, l'm staying with Michael.
395
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:20,720
l'm retiring from politics, l'm afraid, Sebastian
the new Prime Minister will be Robert.
396
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,720
- l don't like him
- Why not?
397
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,920
Well, he's all fat and Scottish.
398
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,520
Very well, it looks like you'll be leavin
government too, Sebastian.
399
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,720
Prime Ministe
l shall see you in the Commons at four.
400
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,120
And l shall make my announcement then
Thank you, Robert.
401
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,800
Sebastian, would you like to sho
the new Prime Minister out?
402
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,320
Thank you so much, Sebastian, for everything.
403
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,120
So...this is goodbye then?
404
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,920
l'm afraid so.
405
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,400
- Sebastian, don't cry
- It's all right, l'm not going to.
406
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,720
No!
407
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,520
Sebastian, please.
408
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,800
l understand.
409
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:28,920
Here.
410
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,920
Can l keep this?
411
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:38,320
Yes.
412
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,640
Whenever l have a good blow, l'll think of you.
413
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,120
Thank you, Sebastian.
414
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:52,920
l wasn't gonna give this to you just ye
but it seems like the right moment.
415
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,720
l got it when l was at the summi
last week in Switzerland.
416
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,320
Thank you.
417
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,800
lt's...beautiful.
418
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,520
lt's the least l can do, Sebastian.
419
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,320
Actually, Prime Minister...
420
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,320
l've got something for you.
421
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,120
Really?
422
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,920
Yeah.
423
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,640
But you didn't know l was leaving.
424
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,120
Close your eyes,
425
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,440
it's a surprise.
426
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,720
- Can l open them yet
- Yes.
427
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,320
Darling, do you want to come with m
to the Press...
428
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,520
We're in the middl
of important government business.
429
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,000
OK.
430
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,320
Right, where were we?
431
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:05,720
Can you push me?
432
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,320
No, you have to lear
to wheel yourself.
433
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,320
lt's good exercise for you.
434
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:11,800
l wanna go home.
435
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,320
Come on, it's only another two miles to go.
436
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,920
l think that Lou has been far too soft on you.
437
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,320
Oh, yes, things are going to be differen
from now on.
438
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,520
You've got into bad habits.
439
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:30,920
lf you ask me, l see no reason now wh
you can't do your own cooking and cleaning
440
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,920
and that TV is going off and staying of
and no more chocolate or potato crisps.
441
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,320
Why don't you get a job
There's plenty you could do.
442
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,720
Tomorrow, l'll take you down to the Job Centre...
443
00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:00,600
And so an other series of Little Britai
comes to an end.
444
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:02,840
A nation weeps.
445
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,040
Why, even her majesty The Quee
is said to be a fan.
446
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:10,040
If you're watching, Queen
I hope you enjoyed the show, ma'am.
447
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,320
And, oh, yes
next time you are opening parliament,
448
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,520
why not pop one out?
449
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,040
They look like beauties.
450
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,920
Good, good.
451
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,600
Andy, it's Lou!
452
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,440
Lou!
453
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:43,800
l'm home.
454
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,720
Yeah, l know.
455
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:49,520
l'll put your tea on.
456
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:07,000
by somix 2007
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