All language subtitles for S L S02E05 Women On Top 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb (1)_track4_[eng]

♪

♪ Don't care what
you think about it ♪

♪ Ain't here to please nobody

♪ On the run and undercover

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪

♪ Mend my wicked ways

♪ I'll get you
into trouble now ♪

♪ It's just so hard to behave

♪ Got you seeing double now

♪

♪ I'm the one
your mama told you ♪

♪ Oh, boy,
the woman's torture ♪

♪ A risk you can't afford

♪ And here comes trouble now

♪ Turning it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Turning it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Get you into trouble now

♪

♪

♪ Now I gotta have you

♪ But I really really
don't have to ♪

The strangest place
I've ever had sex.

It was, like,
the men's fitting room,

'cause men don't
try things on.

Being blown on a dance floor

while a lingerie show
was going on.

We've all been fucked
on the hood of a car, right?

- That's pretty normal?
- I remember being in Prague.

I met these Australian girls,

and we just kind of had sex
all over Prague.

Like, sex on the side
of the St. Charles Bridge,

or, like, in trench coats,
you know?

It was kind of like
trench coat sex.

I don't know why we thought
it would be a good idea

to go in the closet
and just do it in the dark.

With the heads, like,
hitting the walls and stuff.

It's kind of funny
'cause when we do it,

we just don't care
about who hears us.

- Yeah.
- So it's really exciting.

I used to really be into
having sex in public places.

In random alleyways,

in parks,

at work. [laughs]

Hope my employers
aren't watching. [laughs]

- Hi, I'm Edie.
- I'm Josh.

I'm Kendra.

- Jackie.
- Julian Michael.

- I'm Casey.

- And this--
- And this--

And this is our sex life.

[slates clacking]

Sorry you had to hear all that.

[chuckles]
Sorry I had to do it.

WOMAN:
"The lights pulse in time

"with the thrust of their hips.

"Everything sparkles.

"They glisten with sweat

"as the crowd cheers.

"All the audience can see
is the silhouette of a man

"bent over a stool, ass up.

"Suddenly,
a change in the music,

"and from stage left,
a vixen in stilettos

"with a 12-inch

glow-in-the-dark cock
approaches."

Hello, wiggle friends.

I'm a big believer in the idea

that we should make
the world a better place

with the gifts
that we have been given.

"Suddenly, her eyes close.

"She's losing focus.

"She starts to convulse,

"screaming wildly
as her hips move

with a life of their own."

As an artist, I am an actor,

writer, director, painter,

podcaster, photographer.

Basically I just love
to make stuff,

and I love making stuff

that inspires people sexually.

I'm able to provide
a safe space for people

to explore sexually,
creatively,

to practice loving
their own body.

So I really just want
to create a judgment-free zone

for people to safely explore
their sexual desires.

And I think that lays
the foundation

to having a better sex life.

Hello, lovely humans.

I'm Wyoh Lee,

and you are listening
to "Sex Stories,"

a podcast where we share
our most intimate details--

like, what makes
a good threesome?

--in an effort to improve
sex lives everywhere.

I am a farm girl who
grew up in Central California

and went to the big city
for college

to follow my dreams
in the entertainment industry.

I graduated
from USC Film School,

and from there, I started
producing stuff independently.

So I worked as an indie producer
on VR projects,

web series, web projects.
I produced a feature.

And have been a photographer
and artist ever since.

We are talking details
of threesomes.

We have Christina and Guido
here,

and they are a couple,
and they're gonna

talk to us now and give us
the couple perspective.

The podcast exists because
I wanted to listen to

other people talk about
the very personal details

of their sex lives,
and that wasn't out there.

People are desperate to have
real conversations about sex

that give specific context,
that give sexy details,

but also the emotional
"how do you handle this?"

And what was the first
conversation that you had

around inviting a third in?

What was that like
for you guys?

From the very first day,

I could tell she liked girls.

- And he knew it,
so that was--

- You could tell?
- Yeah, exactly.

- That's stuff we talked about.
- There's a thing, like,

some girls will have a threesome
with their boyfriend

to explore
and do these things,

but from the very first day,
I can tell

that she really liked girls.

Every time that
we had a friend over,

like, I'm like, try to push it,

to see if we can have
a threesome, and this and that.

Each episode of the podcast,
between recording,

editing, and then, like,

writing it up
and putting it up

will take anywhere from three
to 12 or 14 hours?

We had 5,000 to 7,000 listeners
within the first week.

Now we're hitting about 20,000
in the first week,

and that balloons up to
25,000 or 30,000

but it's growing all the time.

I've gotten better
at talking to other people

about their sex lives.

In my own personal life,
I still struggle quite a bit

[laughs]
when I'm on dating apps.

I want to help people's brains

come around to the idea
that monogamy

is not the end-all, be-all,
and that if we talk about sex,

it's actually super hot.

Because I wasn't
comfortable enough

with myself to really, truly
go after what I wanted.

For the first 28 years
of my life,

I really believed I was bad,
or at best, mediocre at sex.

I couldn't come with partners
until I was 28.

I didn't give myself permission

to pursue the things
that I wanted to pursue

because I felt like I couldn't.

I felt like I had to behave
a certain way in bed.

So I didn't know how to talk
about sex at all

with my partners early on.

And that's part of why I ended
up starting this podcast.

I'm trying
to make all of this stuff

that is, like,
scary for a lot of people

really, really tangible.

I've always been, um,
fascinated with bisexuality,

ever since I was little.

I loved dating men
but being with women.

From the beginning, we were
very playful with each other.

We started talking, like,
yeah, she was open,

until the opportunity came
to happen the first time.

It was one of her close friends,

and like, we did
a couple times with her,

and then after that it was like,
just like a gate had opened.

I think for me it was more of,
like, the trust thing.

I wasn't afraid of him.

I was more afraid of, like,
the woman,

and so I was really particular
with who it was with,

and it happened to be with
one of my great friends.

It was, like,
the perfect experience

for us and our relationship.

For myself,
when I'm offering myself

to a couple
as a sexual partner,

I'm typically looking
for couples who

are really clear
on what they are after.

Because the whole point
of having a threesome

is just to heighten
the sexual experience

with more limbs,
more body parts.

She was beautiful, and, um,

so yeah, like, I pull it out.

She started giving me
oral sex.

She's like, "Hey, if you want,
like, I'll bend over right here.

You want to have sex with me?"
I'm like, "Okay, sure."

Like, I don't know
what's going on.

I'm having a great time
either way.

The magical perfect fit

that a couple wants to invite
into their sex life

is called a unicorn.

Unicorning is just
another way to have fun.

It's another way to have sex
with people who are

really familiar with each other,

so there's often a level
of comfort

that I, even though
I'm a stranger,

can show up and drop into.

So I get to show up
and be like, "Okay,

"how do you usually
give him a blow job?

Can I try this thing?"

You know, like,
"Let's do it together."

And it's sexual creativity
with multiple other people

and it creates
a gorgeous new experience,

and that does feel magical,

a little bit like a unicorn.

Usually I've been in like, um,

single relationships.

It was always something,
like, about me

that I couldn't, like,
express myself completely.

And because I didn't know
how to do it,

like, I'd run into trouble
all the time.

Cheating. It happened.

Yeah.
I think the most

formative experience for me
happened when

I ended up
breaking an agreement

that I had with a partner,

so I cheated on
my partner at the time

with a couple.

Planning to move across
the country

to move in with this couple
and marry them in New York.

Discovering that the man
in the couple

didn't actually like me
that much.

And that ended in divorce,
and for me, heartbreak,

and a breakup of the boyfriend
that I cheated on.

It means that I ask
a lot more questions.

It means that I get
really curious

about what they're looking for,

and it means that I no longer
go along for the ride

if it's clear to me
that we're not a good match.

Can you share with me
some way that

being more open has
affected you positively?

I feel like it really has
opened my confidence as well,

like, as far as being proud
of my sexuality.

I talk about it with everyone.

I probably tell more people
than they even want to hear.

It has strengthened
our relationship.

Like, we are so vulnerable
with what we talk about,

even when it's uncomfortable.

- And that is our show.
- Yes.

Thank you so much
to all of you for being here.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

MAN ON RECORDING:
Hello, little fuck slut.

In preparation for our date,
we require that you create

a cozy space
in which to worship us.

Include your toys,
and arrange them beautifully

on your table
just the way you like it

by the start of our date.

I spent so much of my life
extremely confused,

and it was sex,
and specifically kinky sex,

that opened up my entire life.

MAN:
We are so looking forward

to laying our hands on you.

I was at a place
in my life where

I couldn't audition anymore.

I didn't feel like
making anything.

I was too exhausted.

So I was sitting
in my hot tub one night,

on the roof,

looking at the city,
thinking

"What if I just shaved my head
and left?"

And I realized I could.

I was in charge of my life.

I shaved my head.

So many people had told me
not to,

because I had long blonde hair
and they liked it so much

and I was just like, "I've
always wanted to shave my head.

I need to start listening
to myself."

And I went on this whole
personal journey

that directly corresponded
to my sex life.

I picked South America.

I just wanted to go somewhere
I didn't know anybody.

I didn't speak Spanish
at the time,

although I learned
as I was traveling.

And I knew I just needed
to sort of, like,

wander around and breathe
and think

and figure out what
really mattered to me in life,

and what I actually
wanted to do.

I had lovers along the way
in South America.

You know, it is harder
to communicate around sex

when you don't have any
of the words in your vocabulary,

but I had
some great experiences.

That trip was really
a turning point

for me in my life.

It was when I came back
from South America

that I started
exploring sex more.

That was life-changing for me.

And I made a promise
to myself that no matter what,

I would continue to do
the creative projects

that my heart was asking for.

MAN: You look so perfectly
fuckable.

WYOH: I'm currently exploring
a new-to-me experience

which is being a unicorn
to a couple long-distance.

The couple that I'm seeing
lives a plane ride away.

They send me voice memos
with orders.

MAN: Meditate on us as
you cleanse yourself for us.

And they usually have tasks
that I'm required to complete.

MAN: Make sure your phone
is nearby,

and that you are alerted
to notifications

in real time.

Things like, "Take a bath."

"Make yourself cozy."
"Get massaged."

"Put clamps on your nipples."

And I'm supposed to send
audio or video

or photographic evidence

[vibrator buzzing]

And I record it as I'm coming,
and I'm thinking of them,

and I'm wishing
that their hands were on me

and I'm imagining
what it would be like

if they were there with me
in person.

My mind gets to wander.

My energy is left
to fantasize in my head,

and that's a different
flavor of sex

than I could have
with another person.

It's a much safer way
to explore

without a fear of judgment.

MAN: Good girl.

So now in my life, there's
very little art that I do

that's not influenced by
the work that I do around sex.

And my mission in the work
that I do

as a filmmaker
and as a writer

is to include themes
that offer a better alternative

to the crinkly, shame-y,
monogamous lifestyle

that we're for some reason

very committed to
as a society.

I think that when
we're having good, satisfied,

delicious sex,
we are more inspired

to be our creative selves.

Our sexual self is directly
linked to our creative self.

Sex is literally
the most creative act.

There are just so many of us
that do boring version of it.

"Hi, Wyoh.
I'm an exhibitionist

"and I've always had a fantasy

"about performing sexually
on stage.

"But I'm happily in a committed,
monogamous partnership

"with a very, very shy person.

"So this will literally
never happen,

but we would love
a fantasy of it."

I started writing
sexual fantasies for people

because what I realized
I was doing

on the "Sex Stories" podcast
is talking to people,

hearing about
what they would like.

If it was something
that was new to me,

I would say something like,

"What if
this scenario happened?

"And then this and this
and this?

Would you be into that?"

And oftentimes,
they would say "Yeah."

And so I sort of stumbled
into writing

more elaborate fantasies
for people.

"His hand slides up her neck.

"He clutches her jaw
as they kiss fiercely.

"He stops abruptly,
keeps her from moving

"as he leans back,
admiring her.

"He orders her to the bed.

"Her heels click
as she crosses.

"She reaches it, and begins
to take her usual position,

"ass out.

"But he tells her
to remove her shoes,

"make herself comfortable.

"She's to touch herself
for him,

"because tonight,
he wishes to inspect

every inch of her body."

I found that it
was really, really easy

to hear what someone's
desires are

and turn it into a sexy story
that will get them off.

And before I write
those fantasies,

I make sure that I know

the turn-ons and turn-offs

of each person
that's participating.

So I can write specifically
to make sure

that their character
will be exploring

or experiencing things
that they, in real life,

would be into.

So it's a really fun way

to exercise both
my sexual creativity

and my writer self

in a way that also
helps people

explore their own
sexual selves

without them having to do
all of the heavy lifting.

It's so important
to me to have

a fulfilled sex life

because that does
affect my work.

The more I am comfortable
with myself

in my own physical body,

the more love I have for myself.

I feel like I am living
my best life.

♪

So I lost my virginity

in my junior year
of high school.

My first few times
having sex,

it was kind of
a total shit show.

Not literally,
um, thankfully.

My first time was
a very healthy

and ideal first time.

Physically, the first time,
it wasn't, uh,

for me what it is now,

but I've definitely had worse.

[laughs]
You know what I mean?

I do remember my first time.

[laughs]
It was with this guy.

I was 17 years old.

It was two minutes long,
maybe a minute long,

and then it was over.

And I was like,
"Is that it?"

[laughs]

My first time like?

It was--
it was pretty bad.

It was dry and
it wasn't exciting.

Her--her parents
were in the other room.

I think "Shrek" was on.

[laughs] It was--
it was more apologetic.

It wasn't more, like,
cuddly.

I was like, "I'm sorry."
[laughs]

I think I lost my virginity
in my, um,

parents' bed?

That could be my fetish.

Having sex in my parents' room

is my version
of the Upside Down.

♪

♪

Learning to orgasm...

is a lot like walking...

where everyone learns
at a different speed.

But a lot of times,
people give up...

and they just stick
with crawling.

It is a shared responsibility.

Women have the ability
to orgasm...

but it is great if you have
a partner

that actually knows
how to help their partner

go from crawling to walking.

I think it's important
that everyone learns

how to be a better lover.

Being a better lover
not only is good for you...

in having
a better experience...

but you help your partner
have a better experience.

It's like giving them
a present.

Who doesn't like giving
someone a present

and like receiving presents?

Orgasms and pleasurable sex
is the best gift

that anyone could ever
have or get.

I did not go to school
to be an orgasm coach.

When it came to orgasming
with a partner,

I had difficulty.

But I had an experience
with someone

where they made me orgasm

and I couldn't believe
what happened.

And I started learning
as much as I could

about the brain, because
the entire orgasm process

is all tied to the brain.

I practiced a lot on myself,

and then I would tell
my friends,

"Oh, my God,
this is what I'm doing!

Have you ever had this
happen to you?"

They would give me feedback,
and I realized

that I could help them
figure out their problems

in being able to orgasm.

A great orgasm is any orgasm.

But a great lover is someone
that listens to their partner

and responds to what
their partner is telling them

through their body.

♪

[laughter]

Do you think it's important

for guys to know

how to give a woman
an orgasm?

100%. Like, if everyone's
not busting,

then what's the point?

Everyone gotta be busting.

It gotta be
a championship game every time.

It's gotta be.
Come on, now.

I just think
it's real important

to stay on top
of your game.

You know? Eat right,
stay in shape,

- [laughs]
- Go out there...

Ha! How often are you ready?

My comedian friends--
Sean Conner, Aaron Monte--

we've been doing comedy
for about two years together.

How y'all doing?
This a family here?

Why'd y'all do this to her?
This your daughter?

Is this your daughter?
Is this your daughter?

It's not your daughter?

Then you should run.
This is creepy-looking!

[laughter]

How old are y'all?
What's going on?

What type of date is this?

Blink twice
if you need help.

- [laughter]
- What's going on?

We all live together
as roommates.

So you're always around
somebody with an idea

of like, "Hey, let's do
something fun.

"Let's entertain ourselves.

Let's make something.
Let's create some content."

I'm gonna record
some lines real quick,

see if we can't get 'em
over to this animation.

We should do
our back-and-forth, Aaron.

Three, two, one, go.

[growls]
Ooh, I swear to God.

Yo, bro, what's wrong?

Man, my girl trippin'.

- Wait, uh, stop.
Let's watch this cartoon

that we worked on, guys.

- Yo.
- [laughs]

- [growls]
- Hey, man.

You all good?
Like, what's going on with you?

Man, my girl's trippin',
man.

She talking about
how I don't make her come.

I'mma find out every single
type of orgasm there is,

and I'm gonna give her
every single one!

I'mma use every technique.

I'll be unstoppable, man.

[character singing indistinctly]

All right, word.

All right! [laughs]

All right, word.

That's viral. That was good.

[laughter]

I think taking
the "Be a Better Lover" class

might be a great experience

simply because I don't feel

the pressure of like,
"Oh, man.

Maybe I'm doing something
out of the norm by myself."

It's like, "Nah, I've got
my peer group with me.

"Nobody's here to judge me.

We're all doing it together."

♪ We're having a party

♪ Yes, it's real in the yard

♪ Take a drag, a puff,
now it's a trill in the yard ♪

- ♪ Hey
- ♪ D-O-I-T, D-O-I-T

♪ And this is how we do it
when we crash your party ♪

- ♪ I wanna, don't you wanna
- ♪ Do it, do it

- ♪ When we gonna
- ♪ Do it

- ♪ Can we, let's go
- ♪ Do it, do it

- ♪ Should we, could we
- ♪ Do it, do it

- ♪ You know you wanna
- ♪ Do it

- ♪ Quit playing girl, and
- ♪ Do it

- ♪ Don't you wanna
- ♪ Do it

Maybe the key to
a healthy relationship

- is a healthy orgasm.
- Hmm.

I don't know any friends

who have ever taken
an orgasm class,

so I don't think
that it is normal.

But I'm trying to learn
how to unleash a better DeeCee.

I'm a grade-A dick-motist.

Maybe I'm not the shit.

- ♪ Do it
- ♪ Could we

- ♪ Do it
- ♪ You know you wanna

- ♪ Do it
- ♪ Quit playing girl and

♪ Do it

The only way I learned
about sex

is because I had sex.

I guess porn, like...

them dudes are like--
got like 10 inches.

I ain't got 10 inches,
so it ain't like--

how can I learn
with that model?

A lot of that is a show,
so it's like,

I'm not gonna watch
"Grey's Anatomy"

and all of a sudden
think I'm a doctor.

- Yeah, I feel it.
- Yeah.

- What about you?
- I used to think

I was the shit.
- Yeah?

Now in my recent performance,
I didn't realize

that I don't know nothing
about the fucking--

Oh, you had
some lesser performances?

I've had some--some--
some bubble games.

- I'll tell you that.
- [laughter]

I had to shake the rust off.

I think an orgasm class
for men is great,

simply because as I'm starting
to mature a little bit,

I'm learning a little bit
about the female body,

but I haven't figured out
the Google Maps to the orgasm.

But I have one of those
old-time scroll maps

that the pirates
used to dig open.

[laughter]

Guys, we like, "Yo.

It's a fucking Rubik's Cube."

Some women just
know their bodies.

There's a spot called the G.

You gotta hit that motherfucker.

And then you gotta go
in there and--

I don't know if that's
even the note.

Like, yo, like,
how hard do you...

I'm expecting, in this class,

to feel vulnerable.

I'm expecting to have to
bring my walls down

and have to accept
anything coming my way

and not be a little boy.
[laughs]

There's going to be jokes.

I feel like it could
get carried away,

but we're trying
to learn something.

We'll definitely reel it in.

I think we can learn
something from this class.

- For sure.
- I think so.

Hey!

Hey.

Hey, what's going on?

What's up?

Okay. Hi.

- [laughter]
- This is our friend

that will be joining us
today,

and you will get to know her
intimately later.

- All right.
- Okay.

Nice to meet you.

- What's her name?
- Patricia.

Patty if you're nasty.

[laughter]

She's gonna be Patty today.

As long as she's not
a Krabby Patty.

Welcome to Orgasm Masterclass.

I am Wendy Perkins.

- Hey, Wendy!
- Hey, nice to meet you.

I don't know if you've met
an orgasm coach before.

You just root for 'em?

Like, "Yeah, come on!
Eat it!

- Eat it!"
- [laughter]

There are some people who think

that's
what an orgasm coach is.

Like, in the bedroom, saying,
"Yeah, come on! Let's go!"

But that's not exactly
what I do.

I specialize in talking
to people about orgasms.

Whether you are giving
an orgasm

or receiving an orgasm,
or both.

- Huh.
- Yes.

Is it just the female orgasm,

or are we talking about
the male orgasm, too?

Well, in today's class,

I am talking about
the female orgasm,

but I am quite versed in
male orgasms as well.

- All right. Okay.
- [clicks tongue]

Hmm hmm.

What's going on
with this class?

I'm down, but...

I don't think Wendy's
ready for it.

I mean, shit, we might not
be ready for Wendy.

I don't know.

Big thing to remember
is that orgasms

begin and end in the brain.

So most of the research
that's out there

and pretty much all
of the media that you see,

whether it be porn
or in a movie,

it's always focused on
the male's arousal process.

Most of the research
for orgasms

is really lacking
on females.

They don't really have
the full picture

of what happens in the brain.

I think the biggest challenge

in teaching men
to be better lovers

has more to do with just
not wanting

to seem like they don't know
what they're doing.

Because there's such
an expectation

that men are supposed
to know everything

when it comes to sex.

So, with the females,
I'm gonna go through

the different areas
of the brain

that are extra lit up.

These are the things
that have to be

considered here
for female arousal.

The environment--
she has to feel safe.

The environment has to be
a good situation for her.

And then--it's
called proprioception.

Proprioception means
where your body is.

Proprioception.

That's when
a lot of white people

move into your neighborhood
and take it over.

- I thought so.
- [laughs]

Yeah. Yeah, you clinching it,
all right.

- Proprioception...
- You guys got that?

- That's a big-ass word!
- I know.

For orgasm!
What--what is she doing?

What is proprioception?

It looks like somebody dancing.

Yeah. So where her body is
in space

- is proprioception.
- Oh.

- Okay.
- Yeah. And then,

this is a really
important one, too,

is facial recognition.

So the area of our brain
that looks at faces

and interprets
what's going on

is super heightened

when a female's aroused.

Right? So, as you can see,

the arousal process
is very different for females.

It's intricate as fuck.

It's not necessarily
difficult, though.

It's just different.

The biggest issue
is that female orgasms

are desperately misunderstood.

Everyone thinks they're
really complicated,

but they're really,
actually not,

and a lot of it has to do with
the misunderstandings

of the arousal process
for females.

Porn and everything you see
on the media

is always focused on
what turns a male on,

and it's very rarely focused
on what turns a female on,

and that is where there's
such a big disconnect.

Have you guys ever seen

the diagram
of a full clitoris?

I thought that was us.

No.

- This is you guys.
- He just thought--

I thought that was just a--

I see what you're talking about.

This is a penis, deconstructed.

but these are
the same two areas

over here for a clitoris.

So what the fuck is the--

Yeah, it has legs.

What?

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, so this is

what a clitoris looks like.

Oh, you gonna hook it
on your finger?

That's what you're gonna do?

Right, right.

That's his new move.

That's like a baby.

That shape of the clitoris was--
it blew my mind.

I think DeeCee had
his mind blown the most.

Yes.

I like to call a penis
the male clitoris.

Because it's literally
the same organ.

So the average clitoris
is the same

as an average penis--
it's 4 1/2 inches soft.

Clitorises grow and get erect
just like penises do,

because they're made
of the same exact material.

Once you start realizing
that the penis

and the clitoris
are the same,

it starts becoming
less complicated again.

Okay, so--
wait, wait, wait, okay. Okay.

- So what you're saying is...
- [imitates explosion]

[laughs]

For the life of me,
I had no idea

that it was shaped
like a damn wishbone.

So, like, I'm--I'm--

I--I'm blown away.
I'm floored.

- Okay.
- A lot of males

don't even really know
where the clitoris is.

But the ones who do

will just go in here
and just start, like,

- rubbing away.
- Going on that right there.

They're missing out
on so much more sensation.

♪

You might have heard
about the G-spot.

The G-spot is the button
right behind.

I heard that if you go in,
you gotta hook, right?

It's like a secret compartment.

It feels like a little--

I don't know if this
is correct or not, by the way.

But it feels, like, ridgy?
It feels like Ruffles ridges.

And you--and you--you kinda
just feel that out?

I've danced around the area
where I felt like it was.

I feel like I've hit it
a few times.

I don't know.
I think so.

I think a lot of women
don't know where the G-spot is,

to be honest.

So we talked about
the outside, with the labia?

If you go inside and about

1 1/2 to 2 1/2 inches,
depending on the person,

- and you go up...
- Yeah.

G-spot, right?

What are you doing right there?

You're putting pressure now

on the backside--
this whole entire cluster

of nerves on the back
of the clitoris.

Hitting the clit from the back.
Okay.

And clitorises are different
shapes and sizes,

and they can also
be tilted a little bit.

They can be up a little bit.

So you're tell--okay.

- All right.
- Right?

When--when was niggas
gonna bring this part out?

- You all right?
- No, because when was you

gonna bring that up?

It can be in different places

with different partners.

I gotta go back to the lab

and you know,
do some new calculations

and figure out
what this is now,

'cause I--apparently
everything I know

is out the window.

I thought I needed
to stop using my fingers.

No! Fingers are amazing!

Yo, if you hear a lot of women,
they be telling you--

dudes, like, stop using
their fingers.

No, dudes just be doing this.

Because we hitting them
with the--with the stab-stab.

Grr! Yeah.

If you hit 'em
with the "come here,"

and you hitting 'em
with the windshield wiper--

[laughs]

The thing about orgasms

is the more nerves
you can activate,

the more intense
it's going to be.

But if you go slowly
with nerves,

and you even just do
constant pressure,

it tells the body
that it's okay to relax.

Mm. Okay.

So slow is the key.

If you learn anything,
like, go ridiculously slow,

'cause you can always speed up.

So this is the mons pubis,

that little bump right here.

Yeah, put pressure
on that bit.

Yeah. You know that trick?

Yeah, you push down on it
when you eating her out.

- Yeah.
- For some reason,

it's supposed to do something.

- I don't know what it does.
- I've never known this!

It's 'cause you're activating

the iliohypogastric nerve.

Right above the pubic bone
in particular,

if you push on there,
you're also going to activate

the pudendal nerve and
the clitoris from the back side.

So we're gonna do
a little practice right now.

- I want you to grab--
- Oh, shit. Take a piece?

- It's a nectarine. Yep.
- Okay.

Having anything besides
another person there

is actually gonna be
a very beneficial thing

for people to practice on

because you're not worried,
then, about

how you appear
to the other person.

The fruit is not gonna
talk back to you

and is not gonna care
if you do a good job or not.

What is the best way
to approach a clit?

Soft and slow.

- Like...
- Ooh, dang,

I like how
you're touching that peach.

- Steady and slow. Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

And you'll notice, like,
the more you play softly,

the wetter it gets.

- Mm.
- That's true! Yo.

- That's right. Okay.
- Yo!

I do remember, like,
circular motions is good.

The "these are not
your droids," that one.

Yo, "these aren't the droids
that you want."

I'm sorry, incorrect.

"These are not the droids
you're looking for"?

One of the things
that you can do for

helping a female
to actually get into their--

'cause maybe they're not
really feeling it--

is start asking,
"Does it feel better

to the left right here?"
You know, "Or to the right?"

That's my move!
I give her options.

I be like, "Do you like
up and down or circles?"

Asking those questions
that help her

actually anchor into her body

is gonna help her be present
in the moment,

and get her out of her mind.

Females usually have
the issue of

being in their head too much,

and so much of that
is focused on

how they're portraying
themselves to their partner.

They're worried about,
you know, "Do I look fat?"

Or "Is the lighting right?"

Because there's so much
societal pressure

based on the looks for females.

Mm-hmm. Should I change
the other way?

I'll change it the other way.
Don't worry.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

You've got
a good pressure there.

Okay, okay, okay.
Cool, cool, cool.

If you say,
"Oh, do you like the--"

"Is this soft enough that I'm--"
or "Is this too hard?"

it automatically brings
their attention to that touch,

and it gets them out
of their brain

and being able to actually
focus and be present

in the moment.

That's honestly what I'm very
interested in,

'cause a lot of women
can tell you,

"Hey, I like to be
touched here,"

"Lick me here," physical,

but the mental aspect of sex
is kind of an enigma.

Yeah. That's exactly right.
That's why we're here.

- Scholar.
- [laughs]

Socrates of sex.

- Whatever.
- You guys are paying attention.

I really got just the mental
aspect of sex with a woman.

Getting her there mentally,
making sure she feels safe,

that she's beautiful,
it can lead to better orgasms.

So do you guys want
to work with Patty now?

Who wants to do the honors?

Well, hello, Patricia.

Oh, your hair
looks beautiful, girl.

Do you mind if I touch
your face softly?

I'mma just put my hand
on your mons pubis.

- You like that?
- The cool thing about a doll

is that it's actually very much
like a female there,

so you can actually work on
the actual techniques

and you can play around
with it

to come in at different angles
and see how your body works

with another person's body.

We did talk about some of
the orgasms,

like the external clitoris,
and we talked about

the G-spot, but there's
other areas in there, too.

There's an A-spot,
an O-spot,

a U-spot,
and a P-spot.

For the G-spot, right, so you'd
be curling your fingers down.

Now for the A-spot you're gonna
go in pretty deep.

If your fingertips touch
the cervix,

you're gonna wanna go--
come back

just a little bit
from there

and that's where you're gonna
want to do the,

like, scissoring motion
where you're tapping.

And you will see them

start to...

to move.

Everybody, male or female,

is able to have multiple
kinds of orgasms

besides the genitalia orgasms,

including full-body orgasms

and there are about
eight different kinds of orgasms

a female can have with
just their genitalia.

Any time you have
a cluster of nerves,

you can activate different
areas of your brain

and be able
to have an orgasm.

You like that?

Yes. Mm-hmm.

Get some nipple play.
You want me to pinch it?

Oh, a little harder? Okay.

I'll slow down right there.
Just like...

Yeah, you know, I like--
Mm-hmm.

Okay. Okay.

You want to go back
a little bit further

and you want to tap that
on the top, right there.

You wanna get that
right there.

- Maybe I'll take a deep dive.
- This class has opened up

a whole new side of you, man.

Yeah, man, it is.

That's crazy.
This feels good.

- [laughter]
- Gol-ly!

How was I doing?
Was my technique good?

Your technique was good, yeah.

- Was the communication there?
- Yeah, it was good.

- Yes.
- All right.

As this big alpha male,
you know,

you kinda go into sex
thinking, like,

"Oh, it's all about
control the movement.

Control the moment.
Control the moment."

And sometimes it's just
about being selfless.

You know what I mean?
And really, literally

just taking a step back
out of your own ego

and doing things that brings
pleasure to someone else

who would in turn
do the same for you.

♪

Wendy taught us that Patricia
is a lovely woman,

with feelings, a psyche.

She needs to be asked questions
and cared for. No, seriously.

I'm grateful I took the class

and the ladies that I deal with
moving forward

are definitely gonna be
grateful that I took the class.

They're gonna be like,
"Finally, man!

You learned something
for once in your life."

♪

Your experience
is gonna be better

and being able to give
that amazing experience

to someone else, it feels like
the best thing in the world.

Well, thank you guys
so much for coming.

- Cool. I think that was good.
- Yes, yeah. Thank you.

- Thank you so much.
- Appreciate you so much.

- Patty.
- Yeah, baby.

- Hold it down.
- Bye, guys.

- [laughs]
- All right.

Keeping my partner comfortable
was the most important thing

and the fact that I learned
that in that class

makes me realize that there's
a lot of people

who don't know that.

I'm really looking forward

to just having
a new swagger in my walk.

Shout-out to Wendy.

She taught us
all this great stuff.

I think everybody should take,

you know,
a sex education course.

Oh, I absolutely am going to use

the information I learned
from this class.

I'm going to try to take
every technique

and every piece
of information I know

and log it up here.

I want to use all the stuff.

I could become unstoppable.

What I've taken away
from the class the most

would have to be being
more vocal in the bedroom,

asking instead of telling her
what I'm gonna do,

and just learning whether
or not I'm actually

pleasing my partner
so that we're

all on the same page
and both come together, I guess.

- You know what I mean?
- Aww.

- To come together...
- That was beautiful, right?

- ...and come together.
- That was beautiful.

I'm a-fucking-mazing, dawg.
I should be a poet.

♪

♪

What do I think
about flogging?

I've been to some sex shows
where there's flogging,

but I've never like--
no, you can't hit me that hard.

I have been flogged.

It's something I've only done
a few times.

I did enjoy it.

I've also done it
to other people.

Flogging is sort of a mix
between pleasure and pain.

Sex is only enhanced by it.

I guess this would classify
as being flogged.

I was once--at my request--

whipped with an iPhone cord.

What I got out of that was,

uh, the power dynamic.

I really loved
not being in control.

Flogging is delightful.

I just don't want it because
if you can see,

I'm really white.

Like, I'm even wearing
foundation,

but you can see how white
I actually am.

If you flog me,

it's not gonna
look pretty on me.

I think that I

could be into that.

I think I could be
the flog-stress?

And I think I would also

be the flog-ee.

Thank you.
I might try that.

♪

♪

WOMAN:
When a man's dick is hard,

I can get him to do
anything I want.

And as long as I don't
let him come,

I have all the power.

It's my time to spread
the femme dom gospel,

because I am the femme dom
evangelist.

♪

I've been dominating men
for 30 years.

I was a dominatrix
for a couple of years

and just didn't know
that I was.

We didn't have the words for it
in my generation.

I needed to raise money
for my small business.

I knew that probably sex work
was how I could do it.

I knew that if I was working
as a dominatrix

that I didn't have
to have intercourse.

I didn't have to fuck, suck,
or hand jobs, any of that stuff.

So I went for it.

Over the course of 30 years,

I've trained over 1,000
professional dominatrixes,

many of whom are in the top
of their field today.

I've been a professional
lifestyle dominatrix

for over 30 years.

I've dominated over 10,000 men.

And I appeared in
over 200 fetish films

from back in the days
when people paid for porn.

I love teaching women
how to dominate men.

And so, I decided
that I wanted to bring

the femme dom gospel
to the masses.

S&M isn't the problem.

It's the cure.

- Do you feel me?
- STUDENTS: Yes.

- Can I get an amen?
- Amen.

Amen!

I came across Mistress Tara,

and I went to
one of her classes.

From the moment I walked
in there,

it was--it was like
I instantly knew

I had found my tribe.

And so I started taking
her classes every week,

and I'm now an apprentice
with her.

I want to know the secrets
and the tricks

of being a dominatrix

that only someone who's done it

for 30-plus years can know.

What's nice about birch,
or birching is what it's called,

is it takes absolutely
no skill at all.

You just put them on all fours
and beat 'em like a rug.

Sub space and S&M in general,

the way that I really
like to explain it,

is it's a form
of extreme meditation.

Because if I'm caning you,
right?

Are you thinking about that
you didn't do your laundry?

That you can't pay your rent?

You're thinking about the cane.

You're not thinking
about anything else.

The cane brings you
into the present moment,

back to the breath.

It's enforced meditation.

I teach women
how to dominate men,

and I give them
the neuro-hacks,

biology, psychology,

and technical skills
to do that.

Who knows what
the prefrontal cortex is for?

- Impulse control.
- Yes!

One of the most underestimated
skills of the dominatrix

is tease and denial.

There are so many mistresses,

they want to be very strict.

They want to do
heavy corporal punishment.

They want to hang 'em
from hooks.

They want to do
all the heavy stuff, right?

That's our dream, right?

But you can actually have
much more power over a man

if you get him really excited,

turned on, and deny him.

And you would be surprised
how long you can do it.

I've done it for 30 years
with one man.

[laughter]

'Cause here's the thing.
It's like, usually when people

think about, you know,
being a siren, right?

You think about being
a good fuck, right?

And yeah, I'm a good fuck
and I can suck a cock.

I'm not saying I can't
and I don't, right?

But what we can't have

is infinitely more interesting

than what we can have.

A lot of people are
working through their trauma

by engaging in a BDSM

domination/submissive
relationship.

That's why it's so cathartic.

The slot machine?
You probably think

that when you pull that lever
and the coins come down

that's when you get
the dopamine hit, right?

Science found out that
they get that dopamine hit

when they're almost there.

Not quite.

So if you can do
the tease and denial,

you can addict a man
for his whole lifetime,

and he will love it.

He won't--I mean, this is
not punishment for him.

This is what he wants.

Now Kaya is my apprentice,

and so I'm gonna do with you
what was done to me.

To be a good dom,
you have to know

what it feels like
to be a submissive.

Well, Kaya, I'd like you
to come over here

and I'd like you
to get on your knees,

face the group.

This is the fun part.

All fours!

- Do I care what you like?
- No, Mistress.

When you're being disciplined,

you're to say "please"
and "thank you."

And when you're so instructed
you are to count.

You do know how to count,
don't you?

Yes, Mistress.

You're gonna count
"One, thank you, Mistress.

Two, thank you, Mistress,"
and so on.

And if you fuck up, we're
gonna start from the beginning.

- Do you understand?
- Yes, Mistress.

Are you ready to begin?

- Yes, Mistress.

One, thank you, Mistress.

Two, thank you, Mistress.

Three, thank you, Mistress.

It's very important,
so that I can know

what it felt like
whenever she had someone

in her session, and I could
know what they were feeling.

So I know what I'm gonna do
to someone

when I have them
in my session.

Eight, thank you, Mistress.

I think that was nine,
wasn't it?

[chuckles]
Nine, thank you, Mistress.

Was it nine?

Oh...we have to start
from the beginning.

You go through your own process
of being a submissive,

and then you go into being
a switch,

and then you become
a dominatrix,

so you understand
from the bottom up.

Now would you be comfortable
talking about

what that was like for you,
Kaya?

- Honestly?
- Yeah, absolutely.

I don't ever want to be
on the bottom again.

[laughter]

At least have you on a chair.

In the past,
I was an exotic dancer.

I was great at what I did,
and I loved being a dancer.

But by the time I decided
I was done,

it had taken a toll on me.

I had a lot of shame
attached to what I did.

And what I realized was,

I didn't want
men's hands on me.

They...back.

So one of the things that
I talk about

a lot in class is voice.

A lot of people think of S&M
as visual,

but actually, S&M people,
I really strongly believe

are more auditory.

It's the sounds--

the sound of a well-oiled
pair of handcuffs clicking,

click, click, click, click.

Or this.

[chain rattles]

[chuckles]

- The sound of a cane.
- [cane swoops]

Because we think
with our eyes,

but we feel
with our ears.

Also, the amygdala is startled

by sharp--Eee!

If I did--fuck you!

Like, that's how people
imagine S&M.

You're a pathetic
fucking loser!

- Are you turned on?
- No.

No. Almost nobody's
turned on by that shit.

Don't do that.

The click of my heel.

So you see, just with voice
and sound,

I can do quite a bit.

Create anticipation.

Create tension.

Create pain.

That brings us to
the million dollar question--

what is S&M really about?

S&M is about trust.

Do you trust me
that I have

the hands of a surgeon?

And I'm this close
that you can feel the breeze.

You know that if you get hit,

it's gonna be
because I planned it.

Yes, Mistress.

I was a medical massage
therapist for 15 years.

As a medical massage therapist,

it was really important
to me

to make sure that the work
that I did had value.

That was kind of how
I found my way

into being a dominatrix.

I didn't love the pain
for the pain,

I loved the pain because I knew
it was going to lead

to a healthy result.

Good pain
brings you into subspace,

and bad pain distracts you.

We live in such a society

that raises women
to believe

that you don't have
the right to your own body.

When I became
a massage therapist,

I was really good at it.

And one day I was working
on someone

and I heard my shoulder tear.

And the doctor told me
that I would

never be able to use my arm
for massage again.

So, like,
what do you do know?

You hung your life on
being a massage therapist.

Now what are you gonna do?

But I'm definitely a person
who was born

with a very dominant
personality,

and doesn't like
to be beholden to others.

I remember even
in our own private life

you had slowly opened up
this world, um,

- that I wasn't prepared for.
- [laughs]

And we were sitting
having a drink at the beach,

and we were still just friends,
and you were like,

"I used to be a dancer."

Oh.

My whole view of exotic dancers

was through the lens
of Howard Stern.

When he would have strippers on,
he'd be like,

"So what was screwed up
in your childhood?"

That's the first question
he ever asked the dancers.

So I was like,
"Oh, no, here we go."

So yeah, I kinda dropped,
like, a little piece...

At a time.
At a time.

A little piece at a time.

The interesting dynamic
was that you were

trying to position yourself
as a sub.

- I mean, we tried it one night.
- It was hell to the no.

You hit me a couple times
with something,

and I was bent over,

and I almost ripped
your head off.

After over 25, 30 years
of men constantly feeling

like they have the right
to reach out,

touch you, touch your hair,

tell you that you're beautiful,

"Why aren't you
smiling today?"

You're not stopping my world

so that I know that you've
recognized me.

If you're not doing something
for me,

then you have no business
saying something to me.

And the BDSM community,
they get that.

I've always thought I had
to pull a submissive space.

Because I thought

that's what a woman
has to do.

I feel like I'm supportive

by not holding her back
by doing what she's doing.

I wouldn't say I'm supportive
of it in any sense of like,

"Oh, do you need practice
whipping somebody?"

That's--that's not my thing,

so I'm supportive in one way.

In other ways,
I just let it go

and give her her space
to be herself.

I remember the first
one or two times

you came home from Tara's,
you were, like,

full of endorphins and

it was like, "Oh, this is--
this is working.

She's found her sweet spot."

KAYA:
The same way that a submissive

is getting something
out of it,

what I'm getting out of it
is my power back.

I get to be
the empowered person

in that scenario, right?

And you're consensually
asking me for this, so...

it's fun.

That's a privilege
for that submissive.

That's an honor
to be whipped by me.

- Okay. If you say so.
- [laughs]

♪

So today we're gonna do
our first session together,

and it's gonna be
her first session

after having completed
training.

She's got really curly hair.

- Yes...
- She's got a lot of hair.

So you got your work
cut out for you,

but I know it's gonna
look great.

You know, so of course
she's very nervous.

You know, but I've
been doing this for 30 years

and I'm nervous, too.

So how'd you sleep last night?

Good. Um, woke up
a couple times thinking about

- the day.
- Uh-huh.

And then I was like,
"I need more sleep."

TARA: he emotional investment
that you make

in an apprentice is intense.

I mean, you teach by telling
your personal stories, you know.

So I had a live-in slave
for 10 years,

uh, and when I dismissed him,
I realized

that I didn't know
where the laundry room

in my building was,

and we'd lived there
for seven years.

It's a very intimate
relationship.

You become very close.

- [Kaya exhales]
- You look amazing.

Thank you, Mistress Tara.

You are amazing.

In the S&M world,
I'm called her dom mom.

And I'll always be
her dom mom,

even after she goes off
into the sunset

and becomes a world-famous
dominatrix

and doesn't need
Mistress Tara anymore.

Even if we never see
each other again

after the apprenticeship
is finished,

she'll carry this with her
forever,

so it's a very, very deep bond.

I'm getting all my breaths in
before all my air is gone.

Yeah, breathe now.

It's going out of style.

I'm gonna be taking her in
probably a full six inches.

A lot of the garments that
we wear as dominatrixes

are meant to correct posture.

Corsets, high heels,
boots.

When you're standing and when

you're holding yourself
like that,

you know, you just feel
more confident, you know,

and also it is--
there's a big deal

about your shoulders
being squared off.

Um, when you droop,
a predator is more likely

to attack you, actually.

So it's also a way
of saying "I am predator.

I am not prey."

What dominatrixes have
always done

is we've always taken
the objects of our oppression

and turn--
and weaponized them.

That's what we do.

And the best example
I can think of

is the stiletto.

The stiletto was invented
specifically

so that women couldn't run.

But what they didn't think of

is that a woman didn't
have to run

when she had a stiletto,

'cause she could just
take off her shoe

and hit him over the head with
it and kill him immediately.

So they didn't think
about that part.

These things are meant
to make the submissive smaller,

so that there's
that intimidation factor

of "This goddess
is bigger than me."

So we kind of wear these symbols
of oppression with pride

in that we weaponize them

and we use them
against our oppressors.

It's a way of reclaiming.

She's ready for her closeup,
Mr. DeMille.

KAYA: Come with me.

- Hello, Mistress.
- So...

you think you're ready
for this today, huh?

Yes, Mistress.

TARA: See, Mistress Tara
does it tightly.

What belongs to me
in my dungeon?

Everything in here.

And what belongs to you

in my dungeon?

Nothing, Mistress.

That's correct.

There are four phases
in my dungeon.

The first is pleasure.

The second phase
of my dungeon

is attention.

And attention is how

I introduce you

to my toys,

and my tools,

and before you've fucked up.

- Do you understand?
- Yes, Mistress.

And what about this cock?
Whose cock is this?

Yours, Mistress.

KAYA: Watching his reaction

is exciting for me

and it only makes me think

of what more torturous things
I can do

to create even more
of a response.

[whispering]
What do you like?

- Hmm?
- I like this.

That's what I thought.

KAYA: I have gratitude
that you want to

let me do that to you.

And you're grateful
that I'm doing it to you.

So you have
a mutual purpose there.

You have consent
on both ends,

and that is the key.

That is the important aspect
of all of this

is consent.

How does that feel?

Scale of 1 to 10?

- Three.
- Three.

[murmurs indistinctly]

Oh!

Watching her, I realized

that she's absorbed it all.

All the psychological skills,
the dialogue,

the voice intonations.

Like, her timing?

That was what I really noticed.

[both laugh]

She nailed it even more
than I thought

and it was just--
I was really proud

to see how well she did it.

I think understanding

who you are as a female,

whether you want to be
a dominatrix or not,

empowers you to recognize

that you make the options
in your life.

You decide whether or not
someone touches you.

You decide whether or not
someone is gonna talk to you.

My entrance into BDSM
allowed me

to find a healthy route,
because it allowed me

to empower myself and
take control of my narrative.

As I take these cuffs off,

you'll be released.

KAYA:
Becoming a dominatrix,

I really found
my own self-expression

and my sexuality
in a way that

is truly empowering.

Until the next time.

- Thank you, Mistress.
- You may get dressed.

KAYA: And if there was
something I could say

to every girl out there
who's ever considered

moving into the sex world
in any way, shape, or form,

do whatever you want to do.

Because there's always
gonna be someone

that will give you
what you're looking for.

You just have to know
what you want.

♪

♪ Why do good girls
like the bad boys? ♪

♪

♪ Why do good girls
like the bad boys? ♪

♪

♪ Because the good girls
like the bad boys ♪

♪