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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:37,443 So, what can I tell you about Eve Wilde... 2 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,108 that you don't already know? 3 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,675 Well, for starters... 4 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,051 she absolulely hates being called grandma... 5 00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:45,147 or grandmother or anything with grand in it. 6 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:48,284 So, she's just plain old Eve to both you and me. 7 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,122 You probably do know she's been married before. 8 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,064 Right? 9 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,726 But the only one you really need to pay attention to... 10 00:00:56,756 --> 00:01:00,226 is Laurence, Husband Number One and my personal favorite... 11 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,399 because, he is technically my grandpa. 12 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:03,772 But guess what? 13 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:08,268 I can't call him that either. Actors. 14 00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,338 Eve and Laurence met in New York... 15 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:14,546 where Laurence was studying to be a famous actor. 16 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,850 And Eve wanted to be an actress... 17 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,524 but well, you know how that ol' chestnut goes. 18 00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:23,790 Life's what happens while you're busy making plans. 19 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,424 Laurence got cast as the lead in this big comedy... 20 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,161 and he got Eve a part in it too... 21 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:30,862 which was super-cool of him. 22 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,367 But when the film came out, all of the reviews said... 23 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:36,306 Hello, a star is born. 24 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:39,139 But they weren't talking about Laurence. 25 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:43,136 By the time Eve was one of the biggest stars in the world... 26 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,739 she and Laurence were exchanging... 27 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,842 humorous divorce gifts. 28 00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:49,752 A silver cowbell for Eve to wear around her neck... 29 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,722 so Laurence would always know she was coming. 30 00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:53,621 A birdcage for Laurence... 31 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:56,525 so that the next Mrs. Darling couldn't get away. 32 00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,256 I'd say Eve is on the whole... 33 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,195 what you'd call a positive person. 34 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,292 She says that her whole life has been one long fairytale... 35 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,234 and everything. 36 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,761 But I might just disagree with Eve here. 37 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:11,401 I might say, in everything, except love... 38 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:14,378 which frankly, if you knew the family... 39 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,347 would be considered the family hurdle. 40 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,447 But all that was about to change. 41 00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:26,620 Like the lightning that precedes thunder... 42 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:30,788 my eyes took in what my heart knew an instant later... 43 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,559 that this was love. 44 00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:35,759 Love at first sight. 45 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,671 So I'm making a film for Eve of the weekend. 46 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,205 It's my wedding gift. 47 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,184 And from prior experience... 48 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,778 I can say it'll have a little bit of all the genres... 49 00:02:56,809 --> 00:03:01,588 comedy, drama, musical, and of course documentary... 50 00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:03,252 which is my forte because... 51 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,889 I like to think I ask the tough questions. 52 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,796 I bet it was the Swedish nanny... 53 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,322 who jumped you when you were like 16. 54 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,766 Excuse me? 55 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,396 Mom told me. She said that girl was totally your type. 56 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:14,871 Bad girl. 57 00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:17,670 Oh my god. Mackenzie, that is so inappropriate. 58 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,699 Come on, it was the Swedish nanny, right? 59 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:23,373 Actually, my first love was... 60 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:26,247 My first love... 61 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:29,481 Okay, so he's doing this whole drum-roll... 62 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:32,547 thing because deep down, he wants to say it was my mom... 63 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,924 but instead, he's just trying to think of something funny. 64 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,896 That's my mom and dad in this band they had. 65 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:41,865 Mom said there were a lot of guys... 66 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:45,893 trying to get her attention, but she only had eyes for him. 67 00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:50,237 She said he wrote the most dreamy music. 68 00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:54,609 Thing is, he still does, just not for her. 69 00:03:54,634 --> 00:04:00,550 My first love was a crème brûlée... 70 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,247 that I had in the south of France when I was 12. 71 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:05,483 You're so emotionally retarded, Dad. 72 00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:08,424 Thank you. All right, hang on. 73 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,893 Hey, Jimmy. 74 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,986 I'm patchin' Ethan in. 75 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,826 - Okay. - But I got everything... 76 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:15,492 all of Harold's numbers, bank accounts, loans, debts... 77 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:17,023 My Uncle Jimmy has fallen in love... 78 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,328 like a gazillion times. 79 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,997 He says he's a romantic. 80 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,802 - Look. - Jimmy? 81 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,809 There he goes again. 82 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,334 Jimmy? Jimmy, you there? 83 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,813 Sorry, what? Sorry, where was I? 84 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,577 Having your suspicions confirmed. 85 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,676 Right, confirming my suspicion that people who write serious... 86 00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:37,950 novels have a relatively small pot to piss in. 87 00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:39,479 Which is why this fucking prenup is a whole... 88 00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:40,855 Dad! 89 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,359 - Hey, honey! - Hi, Dad. 90 00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:44,384 Your bus was very late. 91 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:47,330 Yeah, I know. I was on it. Dad, this is Pink. 92 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:50,459 - Pink? - Hey, dude. 93 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,369 She's coming with us for the weekend. 94 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,600 Well, honey, it's kind of a special weekend... 95 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,868 don't you think? 96 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,341 Well, I brought a friend to her last wedding. 97 00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,672 But you were five. 98 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:00,905 I brought a friend at your last wedding. 99 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,810 Thanks, babe. 100 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:04,872 Please, I finally erased that whole debacle from my memory. 101 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,474 Where's the car? 102 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,383 - Right there. - Come on. 103 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,045 Hello? 104 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,351 Where the hell's Ethan? 105 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,328 My Uncle Ethan says... 106 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,455 he's never getting married. 107 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,931 Oh! Fuck, my god! 108 00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:28,003 He says, why would he... 109 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,973 with all the interesting people... 110 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,033 he meets on social media these days? 111 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,011 Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy. 112 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:39,974 Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah. You heard the new tracks? 113 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,350 Okay, so I'm gonna have the number one album... 114 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,547 and the number one tour... 115 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:44,646 if you pull your finger out of your ass. 116 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,816 Do your job. I want arenas. 117 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:50,587 - Oh, honey, look, look. - No. 118 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:51,890 - Mom, please! - Yes, yes, yes. 119 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,660 Hey, can you pull over? Yes, yes, right here. 120 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,564 The problem is that when... 121 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,468 it comes to relationships, examples have to be set. 122 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,870 But in my case, the adults setting them... 123 00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:05,967 are quite possibly the worst examples known to man. 124 00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:11,146 Mom, Mom, that slope near the boathouse... 125 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,545 somebody's gonna go ass over backwards into a lawsuit. 126 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:17,384 Well, it leads down to the lake. I don't want to board it up. 127 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,151 Well, can we at least put up a couple of signs? 128 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:23,156 Al, could you make up a couple of signs that say... 129 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,657 Beware of steep slope? 130 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,493 - A sign? - Hello. 131 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:27,725 - Yeah, a sign's gonna save us... - Oh, you're here. 132 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,028 a million dollars if someone falls... 133 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,830 - We're in here, Mom! - Hi. 134 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,665 Sam. 135 00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:35,400 Oh, Sam can't pass a vintage clothing store... 136 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,668 without begging me to stop. 137 00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:37,868 - Hello, darling. - What's up, buddy? 138 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,569 - Oh, that's for you. - Come sit down. 139 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,138 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 140 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,740 Sam, just do what I do. 141 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,581 I donate all the clothes Mom gives me. 142 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:50,986 I think your mother has a charming fashion sense. 143 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,080 So do I. 144 00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:53,988 - This is lovely. - Yeah. 145 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:57,551 Sam! Tell me, how is your father? 146 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,460 He's in Miami. 147 00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,726 Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up. 148 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:02,994 Why? 149 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:04,865 Well, you know, it was either that... 150 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,029 or I was gonna strangle him. 151 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,765 Sure, the go-to options. 152 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,609 So, Eve. 153 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,571 What can you tell us about your first love? 154 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:25,622 There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo. 155 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,489 He was the reason I joined the theater class... 156 00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,925 where I met Laurence. 157 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,953 Of course, Cosmo wasn't interested in girls. 158 00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:37,559 Yeah, duh. Of course, his name is Cosmo. 159 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:41,970 All right, so what, your first love was Laurence? 160 00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:45,498 I remember the first time Laurence and I rehearsed. 161 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:52,107 He looked at me with that smoldering stare that he has. 162 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,744 I mean, you know, you know the one. 163 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,717 I know it well. 164 00:07:57,743 --> 00:08:02,692 And it was, goodbye Cosmo, hello Laurence. 165 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,136 ♪ It's scratchy songs that earn you fame 166 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,606 Now of course, Laurence has had the career... 167 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,872 every actor would dream of having... 168 00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:22,903 unless of course, you're Laurence Darling. 169 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:27,611 He's recognized as a great actor. 170 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,747 I'm just a simple movie star. 171 00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:35,748 And he could find that very annoying. 172 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,032 Morning. 173 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,628 Morning. 174 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,757 - Boys, boys, boys. - Dad! 175 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:17,256 It's so good to see you. Why isn't it more often? 176 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,292 Probably 'cause you never return any of our calls. 177 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:20,770 Dad, Dad, Dad. 178 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:23,034 It was a rhetorical question, James. 179 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:25,941 We all have such busy lives now. 180 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,706 Laurence. 181 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,236 - The Lady Eve. - How are you? 182 00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,215 I am grand. 183 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:37,353 I have come to see you off again. 184 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,023 Maybe we'll get it right this time. 185 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,992 That's why I'm here, to make sure that... 186 00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:43,857 this one is a keeper. 187 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,590 You are so thoughtful... 188 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:48,121 as if you'd have any idea what a keeper was. 189 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,895 Laurence! 190 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:53,199 I'm sensing a theme here. 191 00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,933 Are all the exes invited? 192 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,873 Just the ones Mom likes. 193 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,205 And they're still alive. 194 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:02,303 Well, I'm glad I still qualify. 195 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,713 Has the great man arrived? 196 00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:09,379 Not yet. His sense of timing's even better than yours. 197 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,850 Upstaged again? 198 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,129 Bad girls? 199 00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,996 Right. Bad Girls, Bad Girls... 200 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,901 Dad, come on. It was one of her biggest hits. 201 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,666 Oh yeah, got it. 202 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:32,039 Eve steals into a prison, an Indonesian prison... 203 00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:34,635 to save her daughter, who's wrongly accused of murder. 204 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,011 Okay, and, it ends? 205 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,242 Oh, fuck... 206 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:43,812 Hang on, just a minute. Oh, yes. 207 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:47,381 It turns out, the daughter actually did it... 208 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,654 but Eve takes her place on the scaffold anyway. 209 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:51,855 Actually, it's a rip-off of Tale of Two Cities. 210 00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,693 Dad, I think it's very romantic... 211 00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:56,199 that you're going to all this effort. 212 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,860 Thank you, Clemmie. 213 00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:01,929 Romantic? He's an absolute bloody miracle. 214 00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:16,843 ♪ You're an angel from up above 215 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,254 ♪ Send down to give me love 216 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,848 Dad? 217 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,327 Dad. 218 00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,094 I'm sorry. 219 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,143 It's a big day here. 220 00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:46,416 - Waiting for Harold. - It's a very good day. 221 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,217 Harold, man. 222 00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,082 Mum. Mummy. 223 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,418 Hey, hey, hey. 224 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:55,255 Here they come. Here they come. 225 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,726 Oh, he's goin' around the wrong way. 226 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,891 All right, everyone, behave, behave. 227 00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:04,868 Our new family. 228 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,062 Four. 229 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:10,402 Welcome! Welcome! 230 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,068 And there's number five. 231 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,772 Oh, right! 232 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,374 This is my daughter, Clemmie. 233 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,215 - Hello, Clemmie... - Hi. 234 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,379 - I've heard so much about you. - Lovely to meet you. 235 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,752 - My daughter, Rose. - Hi. 236 00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:26,779 Rose, yes. 237 00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:30,350 And this is Rose's friend, and almost third daughter. 238 00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:32,953 - Saffron. - Hello. 239 00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,328 - Come meet my family. - Yeah. 240 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:35,957 - There's Jimmy, my oldest. - Hey, Jimmy. 241 00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,058 - James. - James. 242 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,159 - And then Rory. - How are ya? 243 00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:39,328 - Hi, Rory. - Ethan. 244 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:40,530 Yeah, Ethan. 245 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,171 Back there with the camera is Mackenzie. 246 00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:43,537 - Hi, Mackenzie. - Whose mother is Priscilla... 247 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,140 - who was married to Rory. - Priscilla. 248 00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:48,145 And here's Sam. 249 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,842 You are doing? Hi. 250 00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,248 My daughter, Mackenzie. 251 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,979 - We got Lara. - Hi, Mackenzie. 252 00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:57,510 - Hi, Mackenzie. Nice to see you. - Hi. 253 00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:00,854 My nephew, Dylan, my brother's son... 254 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,826 who sadly couldn't be here. 255 00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,156 - And... - You're who? 256 00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:05,355 - Dylan. - Dylan, hi. 257 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:09,161 And, Laurence, the father of my sons. 258 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,896 And Husband Number One, what a great pleasure. 259 00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,369 I am a big fan. 260 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,929 The pleasure is all mine. I'm a bigger fan. 261 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,934 So you guys are in here. 262 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,534 Oh, thank you very much. 263 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,239 According to Wikipedia... 264 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:25,181 Harold Alcott writes novels about love... 265 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,810 that are tragically comedic. 266 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,378 Which means, he's gonna fit right in with this family. 267 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,548 I missed you. 268 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,216 Well, that's your fault. 269 00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:35,520 It's because you have so many books to pack. 270 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,152 Well, I'm a writer. 271 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,992 Just as long as you have that book... 272 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,463 with the pictures that we like. 273 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:46,136 The Pompeian Bathhouses, yeah, those saucy Romans. 274 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,199 I brought it in my hand luggage. 275 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,843 Get out. Stop it... 276 00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:01,385 Did the cat get the cream? 277 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,909 What cream? 278 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,114 Silver Fox. 279 00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:05,952 Major hottie for an old guy. 280 00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:08,618 Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys. 281 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,886 You make me sound so superficial... 282 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:15,387 like it's all about his granted good looks, and not about his... 283 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,992 big whoopee-doo-doo. 284 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,264 Do I really have to hear this? 285 00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,035 Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla... 286 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:25,371 and the best sex of all time? 287 00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:26,535 Hey, hey, hey! 288 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,442 I never said that. 289 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,071 - Really? - Really? 290 00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:33,015 Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not! 291 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:35,075 It wasn't the greatest sex of my life... 292 00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,610 it was the greatest sex of his. 293 00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:39,452 Seriously? 294 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,395 Hello? 295 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,291 Hello? Hi, yes. 296 00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:52,302 I'm trying to track down an employee of yours. 297 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:56,568 She drove the Montauk bus yesterday that arrived at 11:45. 298 00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:58,472 Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45... 299 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:01,171 but in point-in-fact, it was very, very late. 300 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,205 Why do I wish to contact her? Is that any business of yours? 301 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:08,684 I mean, I could be an estate attorney. 302 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:15,018 So, what does marriage mean to you? 303 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,493 What's your experience with that? 304 00:15:20,684 --> 00:15:23,330 Well... 305 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:26,427 my parents fighting, people getting divorced. 306 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,369 Whoa, okay. 307 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:32,035 You're being a little bit of a Debbie Downer here. All right? 308 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:39,307 What about first love? 309 00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:42,342 What's your experience with that? 310 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:44,115 First love? 311 00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:48,187 Let me give that some thought. 312 00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:50,955 Dylan! Dylan, I'm still filming! 313 00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,128 Dylan. 314 00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,500 Girls, you know that crazy, warm sensation you get... 315 00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:02,734 when you cross your legs and squeeze really tight? 316 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,339 Well, the first time I had that... 317 00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:08,106 the weirdo in me was thinking about Dylan. 318 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,511 But what would, of course, get tongues wagging... 319 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:16,111 around these parts is that Dylan and I are... 320 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,417 technically first cousins. 321 00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,287 But first cousins once-removed. 322 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:23,384 So there's like a 3% chance our kids would have like... 323 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,190 15 fingers and three eyes. 324 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:33,696 Okay, the first love question was a bit leading... 325 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:36,366 as Dylan and I have already kissed. 326 00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:40,741 But, it was last summer and I haven't even seen him since. 327 00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:45,381 Anyway, it raises that age-old question. 328 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,146 You know, can you ever go back? 329 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,779 That's exactly what I was thinking. 330 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,013 Though, I think maybe a couple more here... 331 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:55,491 possibly another hydrangea? 332 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,494 I think that'd be very nice. 333 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:02,623 The last thing I would call either of us is selfish. 334 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:06,101 In fact, the term generous to a fault springs to mind. 335 00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:09,766 But in this instance, I suggest we put it to the vote... 336 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:13,607 to keep our one solitary decanter of liquid nectar... 337 00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:17,136 a secret from the vin ordinaire drinkers... 338 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:21,413 and rendezvous back here après le diner. 339 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,216 I second that motion and say, Aye... 340 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:25,779 Aye. 341 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:28,291 Harold and I will meet you back here. 342 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,524 Yes, Harold. 343 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,793 He's a fine wine man, is he? 344 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,449 Money pay me 345 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,135 Money pay me 346 00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,403 I don't wanna fuckin' talk to you asshole 347 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,142 Fuck you 348 00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:46,729 Hey. 349 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,633 Ciao. 350 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,665 Sorry, Grandma. 351 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,609 It will probably surprise you... 352 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,739 to learn that Ethan speaks five languages... 353 00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,442 Portuguese among them. 354 00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,576 So he understood every word... 355 00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:37,416 of Saffron's phone call to her quote Grandma... 356 00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:40,286 and explains the grin she was referring to. 357 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,814 How 'bout we go on a little ride? 358 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,885 I got some delicious magic mushroom chocolates. 359 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,328 You up for it? 360 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,661 Mm, very naughty. 361 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,508 Half will get ya really high, easy. 362 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:02,705 Here. 363 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,318 To you. 364 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,687 Cheers. 365 00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:03,705 So how's it going with the young actress? 366 00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:07,575 Young is a relative term, she's 36. 367 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:10,808 She went back to her boyfriend, at my suggestion, of course. 368 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,715 They're getting married. Must be catching. 369 00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:16,015 I'll probably be at that wedding, as well. 370 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,391 Ah, so that leaves a position to be filled. 371 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,594 Already filled. 372 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:32,728 So, tell me, am I giving you away for good this time? 373 00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:35,295 Harold is an extraordinary man. 374 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:39,002 That he is, but will he understand your way of thinking? 375 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,443 I don't think that way anymore. 376 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:46,040 Fame, success, the flattery... 377 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,607 I'll leave it all to you. 378 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:50,745 Thank you. I'll take it. 379 00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,687 That's very generous of you. 380 00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:58,088 Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh? 381 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,990 Oh, I wonder why. 382 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,692 Well, maybe she thought you'd have a problem with it. 383 00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:03,825 - Oh, hey! - What's up, guys? 384 00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:06,062 - Hey. - Wear less! 385 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:08,401 Okay, that happened. 386 00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:09,804 Look. 387 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,967 A rock 'n roll tour is not a place... 388 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,943 for a 16 year old girl, come on. 389 00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,069 Well, why don't you come? 390 00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,545 Oh, sure. 391 00:22:16,568 --> 00:22:19,048 What, now that Sebastian is no longer needed? 392 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:20,345 Sure. 393 00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:21,749 - Oh, honey. - What? 394 00:22:21,773 --> 00:22:24,754 - I think I'd rather be dead. - Shit. 395 00:22:24,776 --> 00:22:26,722 - Okay, good night. - Okay, good night. 396 00:23:13,158 --> 00:23:16,037 All right, now who's shaggable? 397 00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:20,476 I don't know, I can't decide between the... 398 00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,604 beautiful 17 year old boy... 399 00:23:25,837 --> 00:23:29,614 Saff! Or the naughty 30 something year old... 400 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:31,552 that you were tarting around with last night. 401 00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:35,415 He's much more up your alley. 402 00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:36,187 - Right. - He's all yours. 403 00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:39,028 How 'bout you, Clem? 404 00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:42,998 Who would I tell you, Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper? 405 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:45,194 - Oh my god! - Come on, Clem! 406 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:50,571 Dad. 407 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,040 Yeah? 408 00:23:52,063 --> 00:23:55,875 Eve's one and only Golden Globe was for, A... 409 00:23:55,901 --> 00:24:00,213 Loves of a Blonde, or B, Blonde Love? 410 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,514 Loves of a Blonde. 411 00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:09,185 Wrong. It was actually for Blind Lover. 412 00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:12,195 That's a trick question. That's not fair. 413 00:24:16,188 --> 00:24:17,826 An early wedding present. 414 00:24:17,856 --> 00:24:19,096 What is it? 415 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,865 I got sent this the other day... 416 00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:23,168 and they want the two of us to be in it playing mother and son. 417 00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:25,675 Oh, that's imaginative casting. 418 00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:26,869 It's actually a really good script. 419 00:24:26,898 --> 00:24:28,639 You should think about doing it. 420 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:30,169 I'm in a wheelchair, you end up in a wheelchair. 421 00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:32,682 Last scene is the two of us dancing in wheelchairs. 422 00:24:32,704 --> 00:24:34,115 Lot of crying scenes. 423 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,676 Really? I'm retired. You do it. 424 00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:39,382 It's a both-or-nothing deal. 425 00:24:39,911 --> 00:24:42,482 - Will you at least read it? - Oh, honey. 426 00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:45,688 Come on, on your honeymoon. Gotta get out of bed sometime. 427 00:24:45,717 --> 00:24:47,253 - Bow-chicka-wawa. - Oh, that is so bad. 428 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,193 You are my son! 429 00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:51,167 - Where're you guys going? - Venice. 430 00:24:51,189 --> 00:24:52,497 That's original. 431 00:24:52,524 --> 00:24:53,935 Well, it was Harold's idea. 432 00:24:53,959 --> 00:24:56,667 I didn't wanna start off as a difficult wife. 433 00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,038 Then don't be a difficult mother. 434 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:08,575 Okay. Eve and Harold's wedding song, take one. 435 00:25:26,224 --> 00:25:29,865 ♪ Bet the house, bet the farm, fourth time is a charm 436 00:25:29,895 --> 00:25:33,274 ♪ It's amazing what a book tour can do 437 00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:36,939 ♪ He's tall debonair and he's still got his hair 438 00:25:36,968 --> 00:25:40,313 ♪ Coolest couple in Vanity Fair 439 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,917 ♪ Six weeks is all it took 440 00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:46,889 ♪ Two books and the sales are strong 441 00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:49,620 ♪ You know you can never go wrong 442 00:25:49,648 --> 00:25:52,925 ♪ When love comes along you never go wrong 443 00:25:52,951 --> 00:25:58,230 ♪ When love comes along 444 00:25:58,256 --> 00:26:04,332 ♪ You never go wrong when love comes along 445 00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:12,675 ♪ You never go wrong when love comes along 446 00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:27,830 I think it's very adult of you to be this civilized. 447 00:26:27,852 --> 00:26:29,263 I mean, not everyone... 448 00:26:29,287 --> 00:26:31,893 would have their ex-husband at their wedding. 449 00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:33,664 My mum would turn into The Exorcist... 450 00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:35,171 if Dad showed up at her wedding. 451 00:26:35,193 --> 00:26:36,866 Oh, god. 452 00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:39,899 Projectile green vomit. Head 360. The whole thing. 453 00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:42,002 She still really hates him. 454 00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:44,104 Dare one ask why? 455 00:26:44,135 --> 00:26:48,015 Oh, well, as Dorothy Parker once said... 456 00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:50,679 Hogamous. Higamous. Man is polygamous... 457 00:26:50,709 --> 00:26:53,019 Higamous. Hogamous. Woman is monogamous. 458 00:26:56,715 --> 00:26:59,025 I doubt Dorothy Parker actually said that. 459 00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:01,360 Yes, it has a man's fingerprints all over it. 460 00:27:01,386 --> 00:27:04,697 Yes, it sounds suspiciously self-serving. 461 00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:06,669 You know, if it helps explain anything, Rose... 462 00:27:06,691 --> 00:27:10,264 Mom and Dad here were like the poster couple for divorce. 463 00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,297 Yeah, they gave each other divorce gifts. 464 00:27:12,330 --> 00:27:14,367 Really? What? 465 00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:15,878 Oh, I've forgotten. 466 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:17,675 Me, too. 467 00:27:17,702 --> 00:27:19,841 Actually, one time, Mom took the three of us out of the country... 468 00:27:19,871 --> 00:27:22,181 for a vacation and she didn't get Dad's permission. 469 00:27:22,207 --> 00:27:24,949 Dad waited patiently until we got back, and then... 470 00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:28,082 had Mom arrested at the airport and put in prison for the night. 471 00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:29,421 What a guy. 472 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,252 Character-building. 473 00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:32,989 And when Dad came back after having been away working... 474 00:27:33,018 --> 00:27:34,656 for three months... 475 00:27:34,686 --> 00:27:36,859 he found that Mom had completely redecorated the suite... 476 00:27:36,888 --> 00:27:38,128 and put it on the bill. 477 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:40,432 Yes, it was much more cheerful. 478 00:27:59,444 --> 00:28:00,422 Hello, there! 479 00:28:06,918 --> 00:28:08,829 Hey! Ole! 480 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:10,389 My best man! 481 00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:22,477 I just think we have to make at least one attempt... 482 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,443 to get Mom to do a prenup. 483 00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:28,451 I don't know. She's done quite well for herself, so far. 484 00:28:28,473 --> 00:28:32,114 Yeah, but so far, all of her husbands have had money. 485 00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:33,417 Except for you. 486 00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:34,924 - 'Course. - Yeah. 487 00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:49,395 So what does true love mean to you, Mother? 488 00:28:49,427 --> 00:28:51,407 True love? 489 00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:58,971 Well, you know, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 490 00:28:59,003 --> 00:29:01,449 Which is what I keep saying about those songs, Mom. 491 00:29:01,473 --> 00:29:04,147 - What songs? - Your new ones. 492 00:29:04,175 --> 00:29:05,984 What do you know, anyway? 493 00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:08,081 You sing along with Les Mis. 494 00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:15,430 Mommy is a rock goddess. Mommy is a rock goddess. 495 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,105 A couple of my novels that were turned into films... 496 00:29:25,130 --> 00:29:29,044 sent me to bed with a bottle of scotch. 497 00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:33,106 Oh, well, that's where the films I'm usually in these days... 498 00:29:33,138 --> 00:29:34,913 always send me. 499 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,249 And why I'm in graceful retirement. 500 00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:40,381 Yeah. But that is such a pity, Eve. 501 00:29:40,411 --> 00:29:42,413 You played some great roles. 502 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,188 Has she... she has. 503 00:29:44,215 --> 00:29:46,024 Harold has seen all my work. 504 00:29:48,486 --> 00:29:50,966 You've seen all of Eve's films? 505 00:29:50,989 --> 00:29:52,093 Yeah. 506 00:29:52,123 --> 00:29:53,534 Seriously? 507 00:29:54,558 --> 00:29:56,562 Well you know, nearly all. 508 00:29:56,795 --> 00:30:01,107 And which performance do you treasure the most? 509 00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:06,541 Well, I'd have to say... 510 00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:09,142 it was the first time I saw you on screen. 511 00:30:09,174 --> 00:30:12,587 You were playing a waitress in a diner... 512 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,916 who kept getting the orders wrong. 513 00:30:14,946 --> 00:30:18,826 And you nearly killed this poor guy who had a nut allergy. 514 00:30:18,850 --> 00:30:21,194 It was hilarious. 515 00:30:21,219 --> 00:30:25,167 Available Man. Laurence got me that part. 516 00:30:25,190 --> 00:30:31,106 Yes, I also played the guy with the nut allergy. 517 00:30:31,129 --> 00:30:33,837 Though, that wasn't Eve's first leading role... 518 00:30:33,865 --> 00:30:37,039 it was meant to be, anyways, supporting. 519 00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,014 Well obviously, yes. 520 00:30:39,837 --> 00:30:43,577 In a leading role, I would have to say... 521 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:49,317 Bad Girls was very moving. 522 00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:00,894 Look, it doesn't have to be perfect. 523 00:31:00,925 --> 00:31:02,370 Just, can you get a prenup here by tomorrow? 524 00:31:02,393 --> 00:31:05,397 Dance party! 525 00:31:05,430 --> 00:31:07,068 Here we go. 526 00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:08,099 Taking us down the road. Let's do it. 527 00:31:14,372 --> 00:31:16,443 Step, and down. 528 00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:22,282 Okay. 529 00:31:24,148 --> 00:31:26,150 Step, step, clap, clap. 530 00:31:26,184 --> 00:31:27,595 Work it, girl. Work it! 531 00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,299 Here we go. Here we go. 532 00:31:31,322 --> 00:31:33,928 - Oh, come on. You can get this! - H'yah! Fuck off! 533 00:31:33,958 --> 00:31:35,665 - These are our tarts! - Get outta here. 534 00:31:38,263 --> 00:31:39,469 Okay. Again. 535 00:31:44,535 --> 00:31:47,311 Do you really think he's seen all your films? 536 00:31:47,338 --> 00:31:49,113 Of course not... 537 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:51,620 but I think it's sweet that he pretends he has. 538 00:31:51,643 --> 00:31:53,247 And you never miss it? 539 00:31:53,278 --> 00:31:54,985 Oh, god, no. 540 00:31:57,582 --> 00:32:00,426 We always did it for different reasons. 541 00:32:00,451 --> 00:32:02,192 We did? 542 00:32:02,220 --> 00:32:04,257 Yeah. You did it... 543 00:32:04,289 --> 00:32:06,496 Well, you still do it for the work... 544 00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:08,265 for the challenge of the work... 545 00:32:08,293 --> 00:32:11,502 for the absences the work affords. 546 00:32:11,529 --> 00:32:13,941 I always thought of the family as integral to my work... 547 00:32:13,965 --> 00:32:16,275 and you thought of it as detrimental to your work. 548 00:32:16,301 --> 00:32:17,678 Did I? 549 00:32:17,702 --> 00:32:19,943 Well speaking about mixing family and work... 550 00:32:19,971 --> 00:32:23,043 Ethan has this movie he wants me to act in with him. 551 00:32:23,074 --> 00:32:25,577 Good part? 552 00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,954 A mother in a wheelchair, apparently. 553 00:32:30,315 --> 00:32:34,286 Do you think it could be changed to a father in a wheelchair? 554 00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:38,631 Possible Oscar bait. He walks away with it. 555 00:32:38,656 --> 00:32:41,364 I'm supporting. 556 00:32:41,392 --> 00:32:44,066 I'm supporting. 557 00:32:44,095 --> 00:32:49,010 We start out supporting and we end up supporting. 558 00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:18,030 - Hi. - Hola. 559 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,673 My sister wants to know where Harry Potter is. 560 00:33:23,701 --> 00:33:25,112 Who? 561 00:33:27,105 --> 00:33:28,778 That's Dylan. 562 00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:31,453 He's your boyfriend? 563 00:33:31,476 --> 00:33:33,319 He's my cousin. 564 00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:41,424 My sister says, oh, good. 565 00:33:41,452 --> 00:33:42,430 Good? 566 00:33:46,189 --> 00:33:47,499 He's actually my first cousin... 567 00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:49,436 He's my first cousin once removed. 568 00:34:08,346 --> 00:34:10,758 - Hola. - Hi. 569 00:34:10,782 --> 00:34:12,284 Como estas? 570 00:34:12,316 --> 00:34:13,454 I'm good. 571 00:34:13,484 --> 00:34:14,792 So how old are you? 572 00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:22,629 Okay. 573 00:34:28,766 --> 00:34:30,404 Do you need some help? 574 00:34:30,435 --> 00:34:32,711 Sure. 575 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,842 But first, I have to confess something. 576 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:37,314 Okay. 577 00:34:37,341 --> 00:34:39,287 I had my first serious snog to... 578 00:34:39,310 --> 00:34:41,654 Up All Night In The Diner With Julie. 579 00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:43,090 Snog. 580 00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:45,788 That's English for, make out, right? 581 00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:48,229 Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue. 582 00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:52,701 All right, well, that was a great choice to snog to. 583 00:34:52,723 --> 00:34:53,827 It was amazing. 584 00:34:53,858 --> 00:34:55,735 I'm glad to hear it. 585 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,469 So being a bit of a fan, can I ask you three questions? 586 00:34:59,497 --> 00:35:02,535 All right. Go for it. 587 00:35:02,567 --> 00:35:04,706 Why did you stop writing? 588 00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:11,713 Who said I stopped? 589 00:35:11,742 --> 00:35:14,780 Right. Okay. 590 00:35:14,812 --> 00:35:16,792 Why did you leave your band? 591 00:35:16,814 --> 00:35:19,124 Oh, it was never really my band. 592 00:35:19,150 --> 00:35:20,424 It was our band. 593 00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:21,896 But, you know, you got a lead singer... 594 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,463 with a huge personality. 595 00:35:23,488 --> 00:35:25,468 It was always gonna be her band in the end. 596 00:35:25,490 --> 00:35:26,696 I mean, rightly so. 597 00:35:26,724 --> 00:35:28,169 And is that why you left? 598 00:35:30,328 --> 00:35:31,466 No, honestly, I... 599 00:35:33,598 --> 00:35:36,272 You know that whole rock 'n roll lifestyle thing... 600 00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:40,214 it just wasn't that important. 601 00:35:41,372 --> 00:35:43,249 No fame or money? 602 00:35:43,274 --> 00:35:47,745 No, it's not everything. I mean, I figured that out pretty early. 603 00:35:50,515 --> 00:35:53,826 Okay, I have two questions. 604 00:35:53,851 --> 00:35:56,832 - Oh, really? - Yes, I do. 605 00:35:56,854 --> 00:35:58,856 What is an Orange Prize? 606 00:35:58,890 --> 00:36:02,861 - Oh my god, you googled me! - No, please. 607 00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:05,773 No, Eve told me one of Harold's daughters was a novelist... 608 00:36:05,796 --> 00:36:08,470 and it's obviously not Rose. 609 00:36:08,499 --> 00:36:11,571 She said the Orange Prize had been won. 610 00:36:11,602 --> 00:36:13,843 An Orange Prize is an award... 611 00:36:13,871 --> 00:36:15,714 they give to first-time female authors... 612 00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:18,846 and I didn't win, I was shortlisted. 613 00:36:18,876 --> 00:36:22,289 Congratulations. Was it autobiographical? 614 00:36:22,313 --> 00:36:23,587 Why do you ask that? 615 00:36:23,614 --> 00:36:27,585 Oh, come on, it's about an older sister... 616 00:36:27,618 --> 00:36:30,326 who's kind of attractive in a bookish kind of way... 617 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:32,664 who lives with her hipster, skirt-chasing dad and... 618 00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:34,192 wild-child, younger sister... 619 00:36:34,225 --> 00:36:36,728 and they all live on red wine and pizza? 620 00:36:36,761 --> 00:36:37,865 You read it. 621 00:36:37,895 --> 00:36:39,374 Sure. 622 00:36:39,397 --> 00:36:41,843 Gotta check up on my new step family. 623 00:36:41,866 --> 00:36:44,904 Some of it was me, yeah, but most of it wasn't. 624 00:36:44,936 --> 00:36:47,280 I can't actually cook a Chicken Kiev. 625 00:36:47,305 --> 00:36:48,545 Not a problem. 626 00:36:48,573 --> 00:36:49,950 But I do like books. 627 00:36:49,974 --> 00:36:50,952 Obviously. 628 00:36:53,244 --> 00:36:55,724 Do you know, I would prefer if you referred to me as kind of... 629 00:36:55,746 --> 00:36:58,283 sexy in a librarian way, rather than bookish. 630 00:36:58,316 --> 00:36:59,556 Oh, you would prefer that, would you? 631 00:36:59,584 --> 00:37:00,688 - Yes. - Well, you need glasses for... 632 00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:01,958 sexy librarian. 633 00:37:14,932 --> 00:37:17,276 Soul patch. 634 00:37:18,936 --> 00:37:21,439 Such duty as the subject owes the prince... 635 00:37:21,472 --> 00:37:23,748 even such a woman oweth to her husband... 636 00:37:23,774 --> 00:37:27,244 and if she is froward, peevish, sullen... 637 00:37:27,278 --> 00:37:30,487 sour and not obedient to his honest will... 638 00:37:30,514 --> 00:37:33,427 what is she but a foul contending rebel... 639 00:37:33,451 --> 00:37:36,898 and graceless traitor to her loving lord? 640 00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,498 I'm not just a fuckin' movie star. 641 00:37:43,661 --> 00:37:47,370 Yeah, it's Priscilla for Guy. No, I don't wanna hold. 642 00:37:47,398 --> 00:37:48,843 I don't wanna hold, I don't wanna hold! 643 00:37:48,866 --> 00:37:51,005 Yeah. I wanna write a book. 644 00:37:53,704 --> 00:37:54,842 About me! 645 00:37:59,977 --> 00:38:02,321 You've never seen any of my films? 646 00:38:02,346 --> 00:38:03,791 I don't think so. 647 00:38:03,814 --> 00:38:06,021 Do you go to the theater? 648 00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:08,428 - What? - Not if we can help it. 649 00:38:08,452 --> 00:38:11,956 Wait, hang on. Were you in the last Sponge Bob film? 650 00:38:11,989 --> 00:38:13,627 I was, indeed. 651 00:38:13,658 --> 00:38:15,638 Oh my god! I love Sponge Bob! 652 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:16,900 Oh, yeah? 653 00:38:16,927 --> 00:38:18,873 You actually used to be quite good-looking. 654 00:38:18,896 --> 00:38:20,432 Put on some weight though. 655 00:38:20,464 --> 00:38:21,670 Come on, Saffie, let's get a drinky. 656 00:38:21,699 --> 00:38:24,703 Actually, I've lost weight. 657 00:38:24,735 --> 00:38:25,941 What'd I miss? 658 00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:28,507 My whole career, apparently. 659 00:38:28,539 --> 00:38:30,314 - That's it. I'm moving out. - What? 660 00:38:30,341 --> 00:38:31,820 You're killing me with the secondhand smoke... 661 00:38:31,842 --> 00:38:33,344 and you don't even care. 662 00:38:33,377 --> 00:38:36,517 I do care! But you're not dead yet. 663 00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:40,689 Go, go over there and have the fresh air. Go on. 664 00:38:40,718 --> 00:38:42,994 $50 says Dad brings up his Tony at dinner. 665 00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:44,795 No way. $50 it's before the main course. 666 00:38:44,822 --> 00:38:46,426 $100 it's before the salad... 667 00:38:46,457 --> 00:38:48,459 and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV. 668 00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:50,494 - That's bold. - Watch and learn. 669 00:38:50,528 --> 00:38:52,804 - I'll take desert. - All right, man. 670 00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:56,505 So wait, wait, wait, you guys met in a jailhouse, for women? 671 00:38:56,534 --> 00:38:58,411 Yeah, it's actually a really good way to meet people. 672 00:38:58,436 --> 00:38:59,380 Here we go, here we go. 673 00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:05,119 I, for one, would like to commend Eve... 674 00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:09,689 on her optimism and her perseverance... 675 00:39:09,714 --> 00:39:11,955 and of course, her courage... 676 00:39:13,984 --> 00:39:17,830 in taking this plunge yet again. 677 00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:20,392 - Brave girl. - I must say, I was surprised. 678 00:39:20,424 --> 00:39:24,395 In fact, I would have wagered my Tony Award... 679 00:39:24,428 --> 00:39:25,702 for my performance... 680 00:39:25,730 --> 00:39:29,507 - in Pirandello's Henry IV... - Bastard. 681 00:39:29,533 --> 00:39:31,479 against the idea that you would ever... 682 00:39:31,502 --> 00:39:35,040 tread down this path again, my darling. 683 00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:38,952 But having met Harold, I think I get it. 684 00:39:38,976 --> 00:39:41,047 To Eve and Harold. 685 00:39:41,078 --> 00:39:42,989 To Eve and Harold. 686 00:39:43,013 --> 00:39:44,424 - Salut. - Salut. 687 00:39:44,448 --> 00:39:45,654 Here you go. 688 00:39:50,788 --> 00:39:53,894 So, lovebirds, hey... 689 00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:58,737 I know it's customary to give the gifts after the wedding... 690 00:39:58,763 --> 00:40:01,505 but I really wanna give you my gift now. 691 00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:02,738 - Right now. - Sure. 692 00:40:02,767 --> 00:40:06,146 - Love it. - Cheers. 693 00:40:06,170 --> 00:40:11,779 ♪ Hey little sister what have you done 694 00:40:11,809 --> 00:40:17,691 ♪ Hey little sister who's the only one 695 00:40:17,715 --> 00:40:20,753 ♪ Hey little sister who's your superman 696 00:40:20,785 --> 00:40:23,629 ♪ Little sister who's the one you want 697 00:40:23,654 --> 00:40:25,634 ♪ Little sister shotgun 698 00:40:25,656 --> 00:40:30,765 ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde wedding 699 00:40:41,572 --> 00:40:44,849 ♪ Hey little sister who's it you're with 700 00:40:47,077 --> 00:40:51,082 ♪ Hey little sister what's your vice or wish 701 00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:55,788 ♪ Hey little sister shotgun oh yeah 702 00:40:55,820 --> 00:40:58,664 ♪ Little sister who's your superman 703 00:40:58,689 --> 00:41:00,134 ♪ Little sister shotgun 704 00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:03,900 ♪ It's a nice day to start again 705 00:41:06,096 --> 00:41:09,509 ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde wedding 706 00:41:11,836 --> 00:41:16,751 ♪ It's a nice day to start again 707 00:41:26,083 --> 00:41:31,864 ♪ Hey little sister what have you done 708 00:41:31,889 --> 00:41:37,100 ♪ Hey little sister who's the only one 709 00:41:37,127 --> 00:41:40,006 ♪ I've been away for so long 710 00:41:40,030 --> 00:41:42,840 ♪ I let you go for so so long now 711 00:41:42,867 --> 00:41:44,847 ♪ Hey little sister shotgun 712 00:41:44,869 --> 00:41:47,713 ♪ It's a nice day to 713 00:41:47,738 --> 00:41:49,844 Care to dance? 714 00:41:50,875 --> 00:41:54,914 ♪ Oh it's a nice day for a Wilde wedding 715 00:41:54,945 --> 00:41:56,515 Fuck off. 716 00:41:56,547 --> 00:42:01,257 ♪ It's a nice day to start again 717 00:42:07,124 --> 00:42:08,899 Hello, this is James Darling. 718 00:42:08,926 --> 00:42:11,133 I called yesterday trying to track down the young lady... 719 00:42:11,161 --> 00:42:15,974 who drove the Montauk bus, that did not arrive at 11:45. 720 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,913 And you asked me why I wanted to contact her. 721 00:42:18,936 --> 00:42:22,315 And, well, the reason is... 722 00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:24,747 when I saw her... 723 00:42:24,775 --> 00:42:27,813 in her not-very-flattering jitney uniform, by the way... 724 00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:33,193 when I saw her, the little voice in my head said... 725 00:42:33,217 --> 00:42:35,788 This is the one! 726 00:42:35,819 --> 00:42:37,230 Fuck! 727 00:42:37,254 --> 00:42:40,030 - Easy, man. I'm not a horse. - What happened? 728 00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:42,333 - Gentle. - Jimmy? 729 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:43,971 Jimmy? 730 00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:49,710 I fucking tripped over the Beware of Slope sign. 731 00:42:53,804 --> 00:42:56,250 - Oh my god, that is too funny. - All right, Mom. 732 00:42:56,273 --> 00:42:58,776 It's just a grade-one ankle sprain. 733 00:42:58,809 --> 00:43:02,848 There's no sign of anterior talofibular disruption. 734 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:04,882 Really, that's your professional diagnosis? 735 00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:06,622 It is indeed, James. 736 00:43:06,650 --> 00:43:11,099 One of the great things about acting on the stage... 737 00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:14,068 is that one gets to inhabit a role. 738 00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:16,128 And you might be aware... 739 00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:20,267 that I have rather famously played a doctor. 740 00:43:20,297 --> 00:43:22,174 Doctor Doolittle? 741 00:43:22,199 --> 00:43:24,145 And your point is? 742 00:43:24,168 --> 00:43:27,945 You bandaged the leg of an animatronic giraffe, singing... 743 00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:29,883 If I could talk to the animals? 744 00:43:29,907 --> 00:43:33,218 And I was complimented on my technique... 745 00:43:33,243 --> 00:43:36,224 - by numerous physicians. - Bravo. 746 00:43:38,983 --> 00:43:42,624 Actually, I would like to compliment you, Laurence... 747 00:43:42,653 --> 00:43:45,793 on your very gracious toast. 748 00:43:45,823 --> 00:43:47,825 I meant every word I said. 749 00:43:47,858 --> 00:43:52,967 You are amazingly courageous, amazingly tenacious... 750 00:43:52,997 --> 00:43:57,275 and amazingly naive. 751 00:43:57,301 --> 00:43:59,076 Said the ol' cynic. 752 00:43:59,103 --> 00:44:01,174 Come on, Laurence, what are you still holding out for? 753 00:44:01,205 --> 00:44:02,650 I'm not holding out. 754 00:44:02,673 --> 00:44:06,246 I like my birdcage empty, thank you. 755 00:44:06,276 --> 00:44:10,986 Anyway, why would I want a new wife and new family... 756 00:44:11,015 --> 00:44:14,292 when I already have the best ex-wife... 757 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:17,856 and raised the most perfect family any man could want? 758 00:44:17,888 --> 00:44:19,299 Oh my god, Dad... 759 00:44:19,323 --> 00:44:22,065 you have lived in a hotel suite for the last 30 years. 760 00:44:22,092 --> 00:44:23,867 With one fucking bedroom. 761 00:44:23,894 --> 00:44:25,931 When we wanted to see you, we had to check in. 762 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:33,006 I think marriage is challenging, formidable... 763 00:44:33,037 --> 00:44:37,144 and to be taken very seriously... 764 00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:40,451 like a great heroic adventure. 765 00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:43,955 Captain Scott heading off into the Antarctic. 766 00:44:43,981 --> 00:44:45,927 Does that make me the South Pole? 767 00:44:47,918 --> 00:44:51,229 Where I would be very happy to plant my flag. 768 00:45:09,073 --> 00:45:10,814 Yeah! 769 00:45:23,153 --> 00:45:24,723 Look at this one! 770 00:45:39,970 --> 00:45:41,074 See ya. 771 00:45:46,477 --> 00:45:49,890 You did remember the birdcage. 772 00:45:49,913 --> 00:45:53,224 How could I forget the best piece of advice... 773 00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:55,856 an ex-wife ever gave to a man? 774 00:45:55,886 --> 00:45:57,194 You can't lock me up. 775 00:45:58,822 --> 00:46:00,426 Lock you up? 776 00:46:00,457 --> 00:46:01,868 Yes. 777 00:46:01,892 --> 00:46:04,532 Oh, god. 778 00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:08,209 After all these years and you had no clue. 779 00:46:09,399 --> 00:46:11,174 It's not about you. 780 00:46:11,201 --> 00:46:13,181 It's not? But I hate that. 781 00:46:13,203 --> 00:46:16,309 No, the birdcage was so you could... 782 00:46:16,340 --> 00:46:19,913 keep the next Mrs. Darling from flying away. 783 00:46:19,943 --> 00:46:21,422 Like the first one did. 784 00:46:24,248 --> 00:46:26,057 - It was? - Yes. 785 00:46:26,083 --> 00:46:28,461 No, wait, I thought it was because, you know... 786 00:46:28,485 --> 00:46:31,989 you can fly in, but then if you wanted to fly out... 787 00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:34,195 you know, to meet up with other roosters... 788 00:46:42,032 --> 00:46:44,478 Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron? 789 00:46:44,501 --> 00:46:46,242 Gone inside. 790 00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:53,377 Homemade chocolates? 791 00:46:53,410 --> 00:46:56,084 They're super-delicious, and a lot of fun. 792 00:46:57,548 --> 00:46:59,550 What sort of fun? 793 00:46:59,583 --> 00:47:01,824 Let's just say they're in the 'shroom family. 794 00:47:12,529 --> 00:47:14,008 Wanna go for a moonlight ride? 795 00:47:17,868 --> 00:47:18,846 I'll go change. 796 00:47:28,512 --> 00:47:30,458 Do you know what's great about us? 797 00:47:32,316 --> 00:47:34,296 We've been through all the bad times. 798 00:47:36,253 --> 00:47:40,497 One of the benefits of being apart so long is that... 799 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,971 somebody else had to take the knockout punches. 800 00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:49,940 And on that note, think I'll have another drink. Anyone? 801 00:47:49,967 --> 00:47:52,971 No, I won't. I'm getting married in the morning. 802 00:47:53,003 --> 00:47:55,074 I should think about going to bed. 803 00:47:55,105 --> 00:47:56,448 The night is young. 804 00:48:04,314 --> 00:48:08,990 Eve and Laurence have started in on the merits of marriage. 805 00:48:09,019 --> 00:48:11,966 It's funny how they didn't have that conversation 30 years ago. 806 00:48:11,989 --> 00:48:13,005 Isn't it? 807 00:48:31,475 --> 00:48:34,012 I think that's enough of that. 808 00:48:34,044 --> 00:48:35,114 All right. 809 00:48:48,358 --> 00:48:50,463 Fuck. 810 00:48:50,494 --> 00:48:52,201 Fuck, fuck. 811 00:48:59,536 --> 00:49:01,311 Have you ever thought what might've happened... 812 00:49:01,338 --> 00:49:04,012 if you'd never gotten me that part? 813 00:49:04,041 --> 00:49:08,490 Yeah, I might've been mentioned in one of the reviews. 814 00:49:08,512 --> 00:49:11,288 I meant, what might've happened with us. 815 00:49:13,283 --> 00:49:14,626 I don't know. 816 00:49:14,651 --> 00:49:16,653 Would it've been different? Probably. 817 00:49:16,687 --> 00:49:19,065 Would it've been better? I don't know. 818 00:49:19,089 --> 00:49:20,466 Better than this? 819 00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:26,441 What if Harold feels there's no room for an ex-husband? 820 00:49:28,165 --> 00:49:30,338 There's always room. 821 00:49:30,367 --> 00:49:32,677 Ah, but maybe no more room for this. 822 00:49:37,107 --> 00:49:39,747 May I tempt you? 823 00:49:39,977 --> 00:49:42,981 I have a wedding dress to fit into. 824 00:49:49,086 --> 00:49:52,124 You're going to be the most beautiful bride. 825 00:50:05,435 --> 00:50:08,075 Hey. 826 00:50:08,105 --> 00:50:10,415 You wanna bake a cake? 827 00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:11,544 Okay. 828 00:50:11,575 --> 00:50:13,486 Fantastic. Let's go. Come on! 829 00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:21,695 - You feel anything? - Yeah! 830 00:50:21,718 --> 00:50:23,095 I feel... 831 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:26,158 fucking amazing! 832 00:50:26,189 --> 00:50:28,169 All right, I will chop the mint. 833 00:50:28,191 --> 00:50:32,503 You pick the tune. Music is important. 834 00:50:32,529 --> 00:50:34,566 So what're we actually doing here, Gordon Ramsey? 835 00:50:34,598 --> 00:50:38,569 Are you familiar with the chiffonade cut? 836 00:50:38,602 --> 00:50:40,513 No. What is it? 837 00:50:42,773 --> 00:50:46,084 Nice! Austrian Swing. 838 00:50:46,109 --> 00:50:48,783 Is that a lucky guess or an excellent choice? 839 00:50:48,812 --> 00:50:50,382 No, it's not a lucky guess. 840 00:50:50,414 --> 00:50:52,121 - Really? - Yeah. 841 00:50:52,149 --> 00:50:54,720 I spent two nights in a soggy tent in Glastonbury... 842 00:50:54,751 --> 00:50:57,561 just so I could shake my bum to these gentlemen. 843 00:50:57,587 --> 00:51:00,466 That's having the same effect on my ass too, right. Come here. 844 00:51:00,490 --> 00:51:03,164 Okay, the chiffonade cut, you need a knife with a long, thin blade... 845 00:51:03,193 --> 00:51:06,106 and a handle that you can hold like a sword. 846 00:51:06,129 --> 00:51:07,437 Right. 847 00:51:07,464 --> 00:51:09,637 You know, I read that list of things... 848 00:51:09,666 --> 00:51:11,236 that psychopaths are good at. 849 00:51:11,268 --> 00:51:14,249 And cooking is right up there at the top. 850 00:51:14,271 --> 00:51:16,547 I'm almost afraid to ask how good you are. 851 00:51:16,573 --> 00:51:19,144 Guy who taught me's got two Michelin stars. Let's go. 852 00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:22,316 Oh my god, you're Hannibal bloody Lecter. 853 00:51:22,345 --> 00:51:23,483 Oh, hi. 854 00:51:26,149 --> 00:51:28,390 I was just on my way up to bed. 855 00:51:28,418 --> 00:51:29,761 Okay. 856 00:51:31,521 --> 00:51:32,659 Yeah... 857 00:51:35,492 --> 00:51:38,871 if you see Sam, will you send him up? 858 00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:40,404 Okay. 859 00:51:52,609 --> 00:51:54,520 - Good night. - Good night. 860 00:51:54,544 --> 00:51:56,148 - Good night. - Night. 861 00:52:02,786 --> 00:52:05,767 You know, I'm feeling a little bushed myself. 862 00:52:05,789 --> 00:52:08,269 I think it's the jet lag. 863 00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:09,668 Are you sure? 864 00:52:09,693 --> 00:52:11,229 Yeah. 865 00:52:11,261 --> 00:52:14,242 - Really? - Yeah. 866 00:52:14,264 --> 00:52:15,402 Sleep well. 867 00:52:18,602 --> 00:52:20,878 This is the best wine I've ever had. 868 00:52:23,540 --> 00:52:25,679 Normally it's an okay little winery... 869 00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:29,179 but 2009 knocked it out of the park. 870 00:52:32,582 --> 00:52:35,688 And it goes deliciously with these chocolates. 871 00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,357 Oh, thank you. 872 00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:47,907 Ah, you're making me dizzy. 873 00:52:54,571 --> 00:52:56,573 Be quiet! 874 00:52:56,606 --> 00:52:59,314 - My dad... - You be quiet. My dad. 875 00:52:59,342 --> 00:53:00,616 Harold! 876 00:53:33,944 --> 00:53:35,981 I wasn't a very good husband. 877 00:53:38,448 --> 00:53:41,429 Or father either for that matter. 878 00:53:42,786 --> 00:53:44,697 Just couldn't say no... 879 00:53:46,356 --> 00:53:48,700 to the work... 880 00:53:48,725 --> 00:53:51,296 to the women... 881 00:53:51,328 --> 00:53:52,671 to life's pleasures. 882 00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:01,647 And marriage puts a stop to all that, doesn't it? 883 00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:04,547 It does tend to, yes. 884 00:54:07,377 --> 00:54:10,290 The cradle rocks above an abyss... 885 00:54:10,313 --> 00:54:14,591 and common sense tells us that our existence... 886 00:54:14,618 --> 00:54:16,825 is but a brief crack of light... 887 00:54:16,853 --> 00:54:19,857 between two eternities of darkness. 888 00:54:19,889 --> 00:54:21,698 Vladamir Nabakov. 889 00:54:27,330 --> 00:54:30,709 Our time in the light is nearly done. 890 00:54:32,902 --> 00:54:35,348 I sometimes wonder... 891 00:54:35,372 --> 00:54:39,445 if we should really be saying no to anything... 892 00:54:39,476 --> 00:54:43,424 before we face the long night. 893 00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:50,863 So I'm making a collection of face masks. 894 00:54:52,656 --> 00:54:54,363 What do you think? 895 00:54:54,391 --> 00:54:57,497 You've done this professionally, right? 896 00:54:57,527 --> 00:55:01,669 Well, I don't know, like I've never actually been paid for it. 897 00:55:01,698 --> 00:55:06,306 So, I don't think you could say that I'm a professional. 898 00:55:06,336 --> 00:55:08,839 But I've done it like 50 times... 899 00:55:08,872 --> 00:55:11,580 and I've only lost two people. 900 00:55:13,343 --> 00:55:14,447 - Lost? - Yeah. 901 00:55:14,477 --> 00:55:15,455 Wait a minute. 902 00:55:17,013 --> 00:55:20,586 The breathing part is a bit tricky. 903 00:55:22,886 --> 00:55:25,093 Okay. 904 00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:27,427 Stop. 905 00:55:27,457 --> 00:55:28,595 You're ticklish. 906 00:55:42,906 --> 00:55:44,681 Sorry, kid. 907 00:55:46,710 --> 00:55:48,815 What're you made of, rocks? 908 00:55:51,414 --> 00:55:53,792 All right, I can do this. 909 00:56:00,090 --> 00:56:02,696 Okay. Okay. Okay. 910 00:56:17,774 --> 00:56:19,014 Did you lose something? 911 00:56:22,946 --> 00:56:24,687 Yeah, yeah, actually. 912 00:56:26,816 --> 00:56:29,922 The engagement ring that you never gave back. 913 00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:32,794 Well, it's not down there. 914 00:56:32,822 --> 00:56:34,927 - Really? - No. 915 00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:36,528 Wanna check the other side? 916 00:56:42,799 --> 00:56:44,472 Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait. 917 00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:47,812 Mackenzie can never, ever, ever know about this. 918 00:56:47,837 --> 00:56:50,044 - Oh, god. Or Sam. - Of course, of course. 919 00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:54,953 And Eve. 920 00:56:54,978 --> 00:56:57,549 - Don't tell your mother. Right? - Oh, god, no, god, no, not... 921 00:57:00,016 --> 00:57:01,893 And you know, Laurence... you know I love your father. 922 00:57:01,918 --> 00:57:03,693 - I do. I just... - No, no, no. 923 00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:05,097 God, he's the most fucking indiscreet person I know. 924 00:57:05,121 --> 00:57:06,498 Okay. 925 00:57:06,523 --> 00:57:07,831 Oh, god. Oh, god. 926 00:57:07,857 --> 00:57:09,165 Okay, I'm here. Here we go. 927 00:57:09,192 --> 00:57:10,637 Just carry on. 928 00:57:35,018 --> 00:57:36,929 What? 929 00:57:36,953 --> 00:57:38,990 I don't know who's worse. 930 00:57:39,022 --> 00:57:41,024 You for putting this on. 931 00:57:42,692 --> 00:57:45,605 Or you for watching this. 932 00:58:19,629 --> 00:58:21,939 It's hardly a comedy. 933 00:58:29,572 --> 00:58:31,609 My love! 934 00:58:31,641 --> 00:58:33,086 Yes? 935 00:58:33,109 --> 00:58:34,179 My love! 936 00:58:34,210 --> 00:58:36,190 Harold, are you drunk? 937 00:58:36,212 --> 00:58:39,921 I just had the most smashing bottle of wine... 938 00:58:39,949 --> 00:58:42,862 with your smashing ex-husband... 939 00:58:42,886 --> 00:58:45,662 who I think is smashing, by the way. 940 00:58:45,688 --> 00:58:48,294 Ah, well, I'm glad that's going so well. 941 00:58:48,525 --> 00:58:52,735 It is, but what's not going well, my dearest, is us. 942 00:58:52,762 --> 00:58:53,866 Oh, yes? 943 00:58:53,897 --> 00:58:59,711 Yeah, I'm pining for you. 944 00:58:59,736 --> 00:59:05,687 How can you leave me to languish on this moonlit night... 945 00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:09,747 alone in my bed, and you alone in yours? 946 00:59:09,779 --> 00:59:12,953 All right, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go. 947 00:59:12,982 --> 00:59:15,758 It's bad luck to sleep together the night before. 948 00:59:15,785 --> 00:59:19,198 - But I... - I'll bend the rules so far. 949 00:59:24,294 --> 00:59:26,001 That's your lot. 950 00:59:38,074 --> 00:59:41,146 I feel a lot of love about the things... 951 00:59:48,318 --> 00:59:50,662 Love is in the air. 952 00:59:50,687 --> 00:59:58,071 In the air. In the air. Love, in the air. 953 00:59:58,094 --> 00:59:59,334 The last one's up. 954 01:00:05,168 --> 01:00:06,875 Laurence, my sofa! 955 01:00:14,711 --> 01:00:17,157 It's just a teensy, weensy bit of spillage. 956 01:00:19,816 --> 01:00:21,796 I'm gonna get another bottle. 957 01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:40,906 On the scale of bad ideas... 958 01:00:40,937 --> 01:00:44,043 where do you think this one is? 959 01:00:44,073 --> 01:00:48,078 I would say it's somewhere between... 960 01:00:48,111 --> 01:00:52,651 when I kissed George Michael, thinking it was you... 961 01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:58,189 and you remember that time I surprised you on tour? 962 01:00:58,221 --> 01:01:00,827 - Oh, yeah, that was bad. - That was terrible. 963 01:01:02,759 --> 01:01:04,898 - Listen, I... - Yeah, I... 964 01:01:04,927 --> 01:01:06,065 Mom! 965 01:01:06,095 --> 01:01:08,837 Fuck. Hey, will you turn the light out? 966 01:01:08,865 --> 01:01:10,674 Why? 967 01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:11,974 Mom! 968 01:01:12,001 --> 01:01:14,311 Okay, I'm gonna borrow this. Okay. 969 01:01:19,776 --> 01:01:21,153 What're you doing? 970 01:01:21,177 --> 01:01:23,088 I was just borrowing a book. Why are you up? 971 01:01:23,112 --> 01:01:24,750 I had a nightmare. 972 01:01:24,781 --> 01:01:27,022 You were singing one of your new songs. 973 01:01:27,050 --> 01:01:29,223 Yeah, it's pretty sick having your own blog, like... 974 01:01:29,252 --> 01:01:31,357 you can just post whatever you want. 975 01:01:31,387 --> 01:01:33,890 My mom or whoever can't come on and be like... 976 01:01:33,923 --> 01:01:35,368 You can't post that. 977 01:01:39,395 --> 01:01:43,002 Oh, whoop. My god, I do not fuckin' believe that. 978 01:01:43,032 --> 01:01:44,841 - That is my phone. - Who's the Boss? 979 01:01:44,867 --> 01:01:46,312 That's my phone. 980 01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:48,815 - Give that to me. - It's the size of a fucking log. 981 01:01:48,838 --> 01:01:52,047 Saffie, that spanking could do some serious damage. 982 01:01:52,075 --> 01:01:54,112 Get the fuck off of me! 983 01:01:54,143 --> 01:01:56,419 And don't you dare call me Saffie, you nosey bitch. 984 01:01:59,382 --> 01:02:00,918 What? 985 01:02:26,409 --> 01:02:28,480 - That star over there. - What is that? 986 01:02:28,511 --> 01:02:30,923 I don't know, is it? I'm asking you. 987 01:02:47,830 --> 01:02:50,834 Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut! 988 01:03:06,516 --> 01:03:07,995 God! 989 01:03:25,835 --> 01:03:27,212 Yes! 990 01:04:11,881 --> 01:04:14,020 Fuck. 991 01:04:17,286 --> 01:04:19,163 Fuck. 992 01:04:35,304 --> 01:04:37,215 Aw, fuck! 993 01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:40,585 Fuck! Fuck! 994 01:05:14,944 --> 01:05:16,981 Oh my god. 995 01:05:21,651 --> 01:05:25,155 The sofa looks like Gorbachev's forehead. 996 01:05:43,372 --> 01:05:44,646 Oh, god. 997 01:06:25,014 --> 01:06:27,187 I'm not gonna marry Harold. 998 01:06:27,216 --> 01:06:28,661 What? Why? 999 01:06:28,684 --> 01:06:32,598 I've been up all night, pacing around. 1000 01:06:32,621 --> 01:06:35,659 What was I thinking, getting married again? 1001 01:06:35,691 --> 01:06:38,672 I have my family, the people that've made the most of me. 1002 01:06:38,694 --> 01:06:41,641 And you know what I realized? 1003 01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:45,441 There is only so much room in the ol' attic. 1004 01:06:45,468 --> 01:06:47,709 Okay, sorry. You lost me. 1005 01:06:49,038 --> 01:06:50,574 New people. 1006 01:06:50,606 --> 01:06:53,519 All that baggage has to go somewhere. 1007 01:06:53,542 --> 01:06:55,681 To make room, I'd have to start rearranging everything... 1008 01:06:55,711 --> 01:06:57,247 that's already up here. 1009 01:06:59,715 --> 01:07:03,162 New or different doesn't necessarily mean better. 1010 01:07:06,722 --> 01:07:08,565 What am I gonna do? 1011 01:07:11,494 --> 01:07:16,500 Well, we've been here before, having similar conversations... 1012 01:07:16,532 --> 01:07:20,412 normally after the marriage has taken place. 1013 01:07:20,436 --> 01:07:25,476 So, in a way, I suppose we could say, we're making progress. 1014 01:07:26,776 --> 01:07:28,380 Come in. 1015 01:07:44,326 --> 01:07:47,170 It's disgusting! It's despicable! 1016 01:07:47,196 --> 01:07:49,403 - It's embarrassing! - What? What? 1017 01:07:49,432 --> 01:07:53,244 How many other of my friends have you shagged! 1018 01:07:53,269 --> 01:07:54,680 - Oh, not now... - Tell me, Dad! 1019 01:07:54,703 --> 01:07:56,114 How many are there? 1020 01:07:56,138 --> 01:07:57,549 - Just tell me! - What do you take me for? 1021 01:07:57,573 --> 01:08:00,679 What do you mean? A fucking pervert! 1022 01:08:01,744 --> 01:08:04,315 - Where is that... - Rose. 1023 01:08:04,346 --> 01:08:06,622 Rose! Darling! 1024 01:08:06,649 --> 01:08:08,458 Where are you, bitch? 1025 01:08:08,484 --> 01:08:11,761 You fucking slut! I'm gonna knock your head off! 1026 01:08:11,787 --> 01:08:15,098 Fucking my dad? What the fuck is wrong with you? 1027 01:08:17,626 --> 01:08:20,835 Wow. This got more hits than the piano-playing kitty. 1028 01:08:20,863 --> 01:08:23,844 What do we have here? 1029 01:08:23,866 --> 01:08:29,817 Looks like Harold, no, The Boss and Saffie. 1030 01:08:29,839 --> 01:08:32,376 If I ever see her again, I'm gonna kill her. 1031 01:08:32,408 --> 01:08:34,115 Although it is lucky that she happened to be outside... 1032 01:08:34,143 --> 01:08:35,781 with her phone. 1033 01:08:35,811 --> 01:08:37,256 Pink's a blogger, Dad. 'Course she had her phone. 1034 01:08:37,279 --> 01:08:39,316 Oh my god... 1035 01:08:39,348 --> 01:08:41,123 I can't believe I'm getting this... 1036 01:08:41,150 --> 01:08:45,826 on camera right now. Oh, yeah, The Boss is Harold. 1037 01:08:51,460 --> 01:08:53,269 Nice. That's awesome, Sam. 1038 01:08:53,295 --> 01:08:54,535 Good job, Sammy. 1039 01:09:00,169 --> 01:09:02,547 You knew, didn't you? 1040 01:09:02,571 --> 01:09:06,678 I wanted to come to see you, but I was... 1041 01:09:06,709 --> 01:09:10,555 wondering if maybe by now you had developed... 1042 01:09:10,579 --> 01:09:14,220 a spirit of wry realism... 1043 01:09:14,250 --> 01:09:17,231 with regards to happily ever after. 1044 01:09:17,253 --> 01:09:18,823 Wry realism? 1045 01:09:18,854 --> 01:09:22,927 Yes, well, maybe you were finally ready to live with... 1046 01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:25,161 bumpily ever after. 1047 01:09:25,194 --> 01:09:27,765 Bumpily ever after? 1048 01:09:27,796 --> 01:09:29,707 You think I'm making a mistake? 1049 01:09:29,732 --> 01:09:31,643 With Harold? No. 1050 01:09:31,667 --> 01:09:34,238 Harold's fine. I personally have nothing against him. 1051 01:09:34,270 --> 01:09:37,376 But you deserve way, way better. 1052 01:09:37,406 --> 01:09:41,183 You deserve to be loved... 1053 01:09:41,210 --> 01:09:43,520 because you've always been there to give love. 1054 01:09:43,546 --> 01:09:44,923 You deserve to be honored... 1055 01:09:44,947 --> 01:09:48,360 because you carried this family... 1056 01:09:48,384 --> 01:09:51,490 single-handedly on your shoulders. 1057 01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:55,525 And now it's your turn to take a ride. 1058 01:09:55,558 --> 01:09:59,563 My love, you spent the entire night pacing back and forth... 1059 01:09:59,595 --> 01:10:02,576 in your jammies, and you still look so damn cute. 1060 01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:06,205 And that deserves to be cherished. 1061 01:10:06,235 --> 01:10:07,942 And maybe it was no... 1062 01:10:10,706 --> 01:10:15,246 accident that Harold messed up last night. 1063 01:10:43,606 --> 01:10:45,517 Oh, Dad. 1064 01:10:47,409 --> 01:10:50,618 You've embarrassed us. 1065 01:10:50,646 --> 01:10:52,250 What you did... 1066 01:10:52,281 --> 01:10:56,730 it was just creepy in so many ways. 1067 01:10:58,454 --> 01:11:01,458 - You watched her grow up. - I know. 1068 01:11:01,490 --> 01:11:03,834 She was Rose's best friend, for God's sake! 1069 01:11:03,859 --> 01:11:07,932 I know. I never meant... It was... 1070 01:11:07,963 --> 01:11:10,466 I want... I just... 1071 01:11:10,499 --> 01:11:12,672 I packed up all my books. 1072 01:11:12,701 --> 01:11:17,275 I really wanted this to work. 1073 01:11:17,306 --> 01:11:20,344 Such a fucking idiot. 1074 01:11:21,610 --> 01:11:23,715 Yeah, you are. 1075 01:11:23,746 --> 01:11:27,353 I thought it was romantic. 1076 01:11:27,383 --> 01:11:29,454 I thought you'd finally found someone... 1077 01:11:29,485 --> 01:11:32,796 to spend the rest of your life with. 1078 01:11:32,821 --> 01:11:34,630 That you weren't gonna be alone. 1079 01:11:34,657 --> 01:11:36,568 I wasn't gonna have to worry about you... 1080 01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:38,299 living on cold pizza anymore. 1081 01:11:38,327 --> 01:11:41,308 Oh, darling, that was not our relationship. 1082 01:11:44,700 --> 01:11:47,340 I thought you'd changed. 1083 01:11:48,570 --> 01:11:49,981 I'm so, so sorry. 1084 01:11:52,541 --> 01:11:54,987 - Come on... - What am I gonna do? 1085 01:12:05,354 --> 01:12:08,358 Well, first of all... 1086 01:12:08,390 --> 01:12:11,394 I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. 1087 01:12:12,961 --> 01:12:15,965 And then, we'll all go back to London... 1088 01:12:15,998 --> 01:12:19,673 and to the shame of you having been caught having sex... 1089 01:12:19,702 --> 01:12:24,481 with a woman nearly 40 years your junior. 1090 01:12:24,506 --> 01:12:26,952 And then you'll have to move to Italy... 1091 01:12:26,975 --> 01:12:29,854 where they don't have a problem with that sort of thing. 1092 01:12:43,392 --> 01:12:48,102 ♪ What is this thing called love 1093 01:12:50,833 --> 01:12:55,748 ♪ This funny thing called love 1094 01:12:58,073 --> 01:13:02,988 ♪ Just who can solve its mystery 1095 01:13:05,414 --> 01:13:10,124 ♪ Why should it make a fool of me 1096 01:13:12,755 --> 01:13:17,670 ♪ I saw you there one wonderful day 1097 01:13:20,129 --> 01:13:25,010 ♪ You took my heart and threw it away 1098 01:13:26,568 --> 01:13:30,414 ♪ That's why I ask the Lord 1099 01:13:30,439 --> 01:13:34,751 ♪ In heaven above 1100 01:13:34,777 --> 01:13:39,692 ♪ What is this thing called love 1101 01:13:52,194 --> 01:13:57,109 I gather you've heard, I've gone and ballsed this up. 1102 01:13:57,132 --> 01:13:58,907 My cue to exit. 1103 01:13:58,934 --> 01:14:02,438 No, you may as well stay. 1104 01:14:05,908 --> 01:14:09,947 Eve, I really wanted to be that man. 1105 01:14:09,978 --> 01:14:14,017 The best man, you know, for you! 1106 01:14:14,049 --> 01:14:18,225 You were so utterly... 1107 01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:22,766 fucking fabulous and gorgeous and smart and charming. 1108 01:14:22,791 --> 01:14:26,068 And I thought I could change. 1109 01:14:26,094 --> 01:14:30,099 But it's just not me. 1110 01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:33,944 I'm so sorry that I have caused you this humiliation. 1111 01:14:33,969 --> 01:14:38,179 I just wish I could have it all directed at me. 1112 01:14:42,744 --> 01:14:44,587 Harold. 1113 01:14:46,615 --> 01:14:50,757 You might want to think about growing up. 1114 01:14:50,786 --> 01:14:54,666 Chasing 25-year-olds at your age... 1115 01:14:54,690 --> 01:14:57,534 it looks very sad. 1116 01:14:57,559 --> 01:14:59,664 I look like a swine. 1117 01:14:59,695 --> 01:15:03,666 Way more sad than that. 1118 01:15:03,699 --> 01:15:06,805 I am so fucked! 1119 01:15:06,835 --> 01:15:09,873 Harold, before you start flagellating yourself... 1120 01:15:09,905 --> 01:15:12,818 like a monk, may I say something? 1121 01:15:12,841 --> 01:15:17,051 Eve is a fabulous woman. She's a major catch. 1122 01:15:17,079 --> 01:15:20,219 And I'd say that sadly, from experience... 1123 01:15:20,249 --> 01:15:23,025 you're the one who lost out here. 1124 01:15:23,051 --> 01:15:25,827 And, if it makes you feel any better... 1125 01:15:25,854 --> 01:15:29,063 the reason I'm here in her bedroom is because... 1126 01:15:29,091 --> 01:15:32,538 she wanted to tell me that she wasn't going... 1127 01:15:32,561 --> 01:15:36,703 through with the marriage, and this was before... 1128 01:15:36,732 --> 01:15:40,270 you broke the internet with your... 1129 01:15:40,302 --> 01:15:44,148 Legends of the AARP vine. 1130 01:16:07,162 --> 01:16:09,142 Hey. 1131 01:16:09,164 --> 01:16:11,041 I'm so sorry. 1132 01:16:11,066 --> 01:16:12,773 You know what? 1133 01:16:12,801 --> 01:16:15,645 When it comes to apologizing for parents who behave badly... 1134 01:16:17,105 --> 01:16:19,642 we are a family of world champs. 1135 01:16:22,945 --> 01:16:24,652 - Thank you. - Sure. 1136 01:16:26,782 --> 01:16:30,753 I did not expect this weekend to pan out like this. 1137 01:16:30,786 --> 01:16:32,788 No. 1138 01:16:32,821 --> 01:16:35,597 How is everybody? 1139 01:16:35,624 --> 01:16:38,230 Rose and Saffron aren't speaking. 1140 01:16:38,260 --> 01:16:40,763 I don't think they ever will again. 1141 01:16:40,796 --> 01:16:42,241 That bad, huh? 1142 01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:44,870 Well, not until they both coincidentally... 1143 01:16:44,900 --> 01:16:47,676 have teenage children in rehab in Minnesota. 1144 01:16:50,038 --> 01:16:51,676 How 'bout you? 1145 01:16:53,108 --> 01:16:56,385 I think I'm done trying to worry everyone... 1146 01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:58,649 into making the right decision. 1147 01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:00,921 They always make the same stupid decision... 1148 01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:03,122 they were going to anyway. 1149 01:17:03,151 --> 01:17:05,791 I think it's my turn to make a stupid decision actually. 1150 01:17:16,064 --> 01:17:17,873 I'm sorry, that was really stupid, wasn't it... 1151 01:17:17,899 --> 01:17:19,401 No, no, no, no. 1152 01:17:22,237 --> 01:17:24,148 I can be way more stupid than that. 1153 01:17:39,287 --> 01:17:41,426 So how did you see this weekend panning out? 1154 01:17:42,858 --> 01:17:46,032 Well, kinda like this. 1155 01:17:48,263 --> 01:17:49,765 And what gave you that impression? 1156 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:54,173 How we chop mint. 1157 01:17:55,871 --> 01:17:57,748 We've got the same taste in music. 1158 01:17:59,207 --> 01:18:01,244 That is important. 1159 01:18:01,276 --> 01:18:03,381 Yes, it is. 1160 01:18:03,412 --> 01:18:05,858 And... 1161 01:18:05,881 --> 01:18:10,193 you got a whole lotta new material for your next novel. 1162 01:18:10,218 --> 01:18:11,891 Oh yeah, masses. 1163 01:18:13,822 --> 01:18:15,233 You know what I think? 1164 01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:18,769 I think you should stay in New York... 1165 01:18:20,429 --> 01:18:23,774 and do a little research on some of the American characters. 1166 01:18:27,302 --> 01:18:28,906 Well, I can think of one. 1167 01:18:28,937 --> 01:18:30,712 Okay. 1168 01:18:30,739 --> 01:18:34,949 But I'm a little worried that he wants to eat me... 1169 01:18:34,976 --> 01:18:38,219 with some fava beans and nice Chianti. 1170 01:18:39,781 --> 01:18:42,261 Look, I think I oughtta tell you something. 1171 01:18:49,891 --> 01:18:52,895 You don't have to say goodbye. Just jump in the car. 1172 01:18:52,928 --> 01:18:54,032 It's great to see you. 1173 01:18:54,062 --> 01:18:55,097 - Thank you so much. - Bye. 1174 01:18:56,832 --> 01:18:58,812 Bye. Bye. 1175 01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:18,159 I have a lot of answering to do, to all of you... 1176 01:19:18,186 --> 01:19:20,291 and I will. 1177 01:19:20,322 --> 01:19:23,462 But for now, I want you to know... 1178 01:19:23,492 --> 01:19:26,302 that I'm so sorry for having let you all down. 1179 01:19:26,328 --> 01:19:30,504 But I promise you, we will get over this... 1180 01:19:30,532 --> 01:19:32,534 and we will move forward together. 1181 01:19:32,768 --> 01:19:34,975 Yeah. Right, Dad. 1182 01:19:35,003 --> 01:19:36,778 I'm stopping off in New York. 1183 01:19:36,805 --> 01:19:38,079 What? 1184 01:19:38,106 --> 01:19:40,814 Probably gonna stay for a few months. 1185 01:19:40,842 --> 01:19:42,344 You two are on your own. 1186 01:19:42,377 --> 01:19:43,481 No, Clemmie. 1187 01:19:43,512 --> 01:19:46,959 You'll be fine. You'll be fine. 1188 01:19:51,219 --> 01:19:53,324 Mom... 1189 01:19:53,355 --> 01:19:56,962 if you sleep with your friend, does it ruin the friendship? 1190 01:19:56,992 --> 01:20:00,235 - Oh, well, it never did for me. - Really? 1191 01:20:00,262 --> 01:20:02,401 Yeah, but, I can count my real friends on one hand. 1192 01:20:02,430 --> 01:20:05,570 I mean, actually I don't even need one hand. 1193 01:20:05,801 --> 01:20:09,977 You know, the important part is... 1194 01:20:10,005 --> 01:20:13,384 not working on staying friends afterwords. 1195 01:20:13,408 --> 01:20:16,855 That's what ruins it. 1196 01:20:16,878 --> 01:20:19,119 But you don't have to worry about that, 'cause you know... 1197 01:20:19,147 --> 01:20:20,922 you're gonna have kids with like 15 fingers. 1198 01:20:20,949 --> 01:20:22,121 - You're gonna have way bigger... - Oh, my god. 1199 01:20:22,150 --> 01:20:23,561 things to worry about. 1200 01:20:23,585 --> 01:20:25,121 - Giant gloves. - That's not... 1201 01:20:25,153 --> 01:20:27,190 - Maybe mittens. - That's not even funny. 1202 01:20:27,222 --> 01:20:28,223 That's better, right? 1203 01:20:30,325 --> 01:20:31,565 All right. 1204 01:20:31,593 --> 01:20:33,869 I'm a good mommy. 1205 01:20:33,895 --> 01:20:35,397 - Yeah. - I gotta go. 1206 01:20:35,430 --> 01:20:39,207 - Why? - I gotta go call Sam's dad. 1207 01:20:40,335 --> 01:20:41,871 Okay. 1208 01:20:49,010 --> 01:20:51,422 Oh, god, I'm gonna have to say something. 1209 01:21:08,930 --> 01:21:10,568 I'll do it. 1210 01:21:36,925 --> 01:21:41,396 Hello, everyone. I have an announcement to make. 1211 01:21:41,429 --> 01:21:46,105 After much deliberation and mature reflection... 1212 01:21:46,134 --> 01:21:47,943 by the parties in question... 1213 01:21:47,969 --> 01:21:51,143 it has been mutually decided... 1214 01:21:51,172 --> 01:21:54,016 that the advertised wedding... 1215 01:21:54,042 --> 01:21:56,113 will not be going forward. 1216 01:21:56,144 --> 01:22:00,684 Now, I know that's a disappointment to everyone... 1217 01:22:00,916 --> 01:22:03,920 but, look at it this way... 1218 01:22:03,952 --> 01:22:09,265 at least we won't have to have pasta afta the ballet. 1219 01:22:11,192 --> 01:22:13,365 Too soon. Very well. 1220 01:22:15,030 --> 01:22:16,202 Boys. 1221 01:22:18,633 --> 01:22:23,104 Boys, if you would, a clever and imaginative toast, please? 1222 01:22:23,138 --> 01:22:24,640 To calling it off? 1223 01:22:24,673 --> 01:22:29,622 Well done. To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1224 01:22:29,644 --> 01:22:31,146 Cheers. 1225 01:22:31,179 --> 01:22:33,090 To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1226 01:22:33,114 --> 01:22:37,119 However, Judge McCaffery is here. Everything is setup. 1227 01:22:37,152 --> 01:22:40,258 Why not take advantage? 1228 01:22:40,288 --> 01:22:43,667 So would anyone like to get married today? 1229 01:22:43,692 --> 01:22:46,002 Anybody at all? It's all on us. 1230 01:22:46,027 --> 01:22:50,498 Actually, it's on Eve, because I'm incredibly cheap. 1231 01:22:50,532 --> 01:22:52,239 Anybody? 1232 01:22:54,369 --> 01:22:58,681 No, okay. Well, I have a suggestion. 1233 01:22:58,707 --> 01:23:01,210 Eve? 1234 01:23:01,242 --> 01:23:04,223 Eve, show yourself! 1235 01:23:17,692 --> 01:23:22,539 My dear, before another marriage ends in divorce or death... 1236 01:23:22,564 --> 01:23:27,013 why don't we just cut to the chase and tie the knot? 1237 01:23:28,203 --> 01:23:29,705 What? 1238 01:23:29,738 --> 01:23:32,582 I mean, if there is somebody else you'd like to marry... 1239 01:23:32,607 --> 01:23:36,384 first, before you remarry me, that's... that's fine. 1240 01:23:37,746 --> 01:23:39,419 Boys, what do you think? 1241 01:23:39,447 --> 01:23:40,517 You're on your own here, Dad. 1242 01:23:40,548 --> 01:23:42,323 Oh, I definitely wanna hear this. 1243 01:23:42,350 --> 01:23:46,025 Mom, it's Dad, so a prenup is a must. 1244 01:23:46,054 --> 01:23:48,557 Thanks, kids, you're out of the will. 1245 01:23:53,561 --> 01:23:57,668 Eve, I've done some stupid things in my life. 1246 01:23:57,699 --> 01:24:02,205 But that was actually the younger, dumber me. 1247 01:24:04,339 --> 01:24:07,684 I remember him well. 1248 01:24:07,709 --> 01:24:10,781 I constantly hear people say... 1249 01:24:10,812 --> 01:24:16,194 they're looking for the person they wanna grow old with. 1250 01:24:16,217 --> 01:24:20,632 But we're here now, living it right now. 1251 01:24:20,655 --> 01:24:23,693 I wanna grow old with you. 1252 01:24:23,725 --> 01:24:27,468 I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. 1253 01:24:27,495 --> 01:24:30,476 Will you be my wife? 1254 01:24:30,498 --> 01:24:32,535 Will you marry me? 1255 01:24:34,803 --> 01:24:38,580 Again? 1256 01:24:52,253 --> 01:24:54,358 Yes. 1257 01:25:08,236 --> 01:25:09,579 Come on down here. 1258 01:25:11,372 --> 01:25:12,749 I do. 1259 01:25:16,578 --> 01:25:19,491 Then I pronounce you man and wife. 1260 01:25:46,241 --> 01:25:48,915 All-in-all, I would have to say, it was one of Eve's... 1261 01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:52,614 more entertaining family get-togethers. 1262 01:25:52,647 --> 01:25:56,151 Laughter, tears, love and sex. 1263 01:25:56,184 --> 01:25:58,357 Who could quibble? 1264 01:25:58,386 --> 01:26:00,627 Do you know where your grandmother is? 1265 01:26:00,655 --> 01:26:03,226 Sorry, one second, I'll be right back... 1266 01:26:03,258 --> 01:26:05,465 I just wanted to show her something. 1267 01:26:05,493 --> 01:26:08,269 And, could you cut the grandmother bit? 1268 01:26:08,296 --> 01:26:09,639 Otherwise, it's... 1269 01:26:16,504 --> 01:26:17,915 Actors. 1270 01:26:35,423 --> 01:26:38,893 ♪ I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste 1271 01:26:38,927 --> 01:26:41,464 ♪ A flannel for my face 1272 01:26:41,496 --> 01:26:46,411 ♪ Pajamas, a hairbrush, new shoes and a case 1273 01:26:46,434 --> 01:26:52,385 ♪ I said to my reflection, let's get out of this place 1274 01:26:54,475 --> 01:26:57,456 ♪ Past the church and the steeple 1275 01:26:57,478 --> 01:26:59,856 ♪ The laundry on the hill 1276 01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:02,589 ♪ The billboards and the buildings 1277 01:27:02,617 --> 01:27:05,325 ♪ Memories of it still 1278 01:27:05,353 --> 01:27:10,359 ♪ Keep calling and calling 1279 01:27:10,391 --> 01:27:14,601 ♪ But forget it all, I know I will 1280 01:27:16,464 --> 01:27:20,241 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1281 01:27:21,669 --> 01:27:25,913 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1282 01:27:25,940 --> 01:27:31,356 ♪ What's been going on now that you have gone 1283 01:27:31,379 --> 01:27:34,485 ♪ There's no other 1284 01:27:34,515 --> 01:27:38,258 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1285 01:27:40,555 --> 01:27:44,628 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1286 01:27:46,794 --> 01:27:48,671 Look at them. 1287 01:27:48,696 --> 01:27:50,505 Standing around the piano like they're singing... 1288 01:27:50,531 --> 01:27:52,636 The Circle of Life... 1289 01:27:52,667 --> 01:27:55,648 when they're actually singing a song about cheating. 1290 01:27:55,670 --> 01:27:57,616 See, I told you. 1291 01:27:57,639 --> 01:28:03,555 When it comes to my family, love is just one big mystery. 1292 01:28:03,578 --> 01:28:09,028 ♪ Now that you have gone, there's no other 1293 01:28:09,050 --> 01:28:13,396 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1294 01:28:13,421 --> 01:28:18,564 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1295 01:28:21,929 --> 01:28:25,900 ♪ Well I was tempted by the fruit of another 1296 01:28:28,036 --> 01:28:31,415 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1297 01:28:33,074 --> 01:28:36,385 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1298 01:28:38,046 --> 01:28:42,961 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1299 01:28:42,984 --> 01:28:46,022 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1300 01:28:48,456 --> 01:28:51,869 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1301 01:28:51,893 --> 01:28:55,568 ♪ Now what's been going on 1302 01:29:11,012 --> 01:29:12,958 Wait for it. 1303 01:29:15,783 --> 01:29:17,490 Wait. 1304 01:29:18,853 --> 01:29:20,594 Going. 1305 01:29:22,056 --> 01:29:23,729 Going. 1306 01:29:26,494 --> 01:29:27,973 Gone. 1307 01:29:36,471 --> 01:29:39,008 Almost dark. 1308 01:29:50,051 --> 01:29:51,121 There. 1309 01:32:28,976 --> 01:32:33,288 ♪ We are the ones who love you 1310 01:32:33,314 --> 01:32:36,193 ♪ We are the ones who hurt you 1311 01:32:36,217 --> 01:32:40,563 ♪ We are the ones who heal you 1312 01:32:40,588 --> 01:32:44,832 ♪ I want to see into the shadows 1313 01:32:44,859 --> 01:32:47,601 ♪ I can take a bit of madness 1314 01:32:47,628 --> 01:32:49,630 ♪ It's lucky 'cause we've seen a lot 1315 01:32:52,667 --> 01:32:55,648 ♪ And I never said that this was organized 1316 01:32:58,172 --> 01:33:01,210 ♪ And I never said that we'd be fine 1317 01:33:03,945 --> 01:33:07,722 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years 1318 01:33:09,817 --> 01:33:12,730 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind 1319 01:33:14,855 --> 01:33:19,133 ♪ So let's hear it for the mothers 1320 01:33:19,160 --> 01:33:23,973 ♪ Sisters, dads and brothers, we're all in the same ol' mess 1321 01:33:26,233 --> 01:33:29,976 ♪ I don't want to see into the future 1322 01:33:30,004 --> 01:33:32,917 ♪ Because I'm okay if I can reach you 1323 01:33:32,940 --> 01:33:35,147 ♪ And I'll take that above all else 1324 01:33:38,179 --> 01:33:41,251 ♪ And I never said that this was organized 1325 01:33:44,051 --> 01:33:46,258 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine 1326 01:33:49,757 --> 01:33:53,261 ♪ But I know I've loved you throughout all these years 1327 01:33:55,329 --> 01:33:58,208 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind 1328 01:34:01,135 --> 01:34:04,207 ♪ I never said that this was organized 1329 01:34:06,907 --> 01:34:09,683 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine 1330 01:34:12,647 --> 01:34:15,651 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years 1331 01:34:18,319 --> 01:34:21,391 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind 1332 01:34:58,192 --> 01:35:02,038 ♪ I never said that this was organized 1333 01:35:03,998 --> 01:35:06,979 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine 1334 01:35:09,837 --> 01:35:12,977 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years 1335 01:35:15,342 --> 01:35:18,846 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind 97792