Original subtitles

Take it.

Let's hurry up, otherwise we'll never finish!

Stop thief! Stop him!

Stop him!

Stop thief!

Stop him!

Stop thief!

Wretched guy!

I got you, you dirty thief!

Stop him! Stop thief!

Stop him!

Stop!

Stop him! Stop thief!

Stop him!

- Come on! - You swine!

Move on! Come on!

Move!

- Where are they going to take that poor fellow? - To the magistrate's court!

See you!

All those like him end up in front of the magistrate sooner or later.

Many other little occurences that happen in town...

also end up in that court.

This swear word, for example,

will be examined, controlled and judged.

This argument between fruit sellers, will also end up in court.

How do I know such things?

Allow me to introduce myyself... I am Augusto Mencacci.

Professional eye witness.

He who wants me can find me here in court everyday.

For sentences up to 3 years and fines up to 100,000 lire,

this is the place...

where an unyielding justice is administered.

I wonder how many times yyou, ve walked past this building,

without thinking of coming in,

and without knowing that in the whole city there is no better

free show than....

A DAY IN COURT

This film is dedicated to the "usual unknown," to he who steals

chickens and wallets from tram's stops, to their defenders, to clerks,

to quarrellers on a bus, and to the ones evicted.

To every one who happened to become characters of the daily court events.

The authors of the film wish to thank such characters who, without realizing,

from the columns of the local news have given their contribution.

The court is my kingdom, my field of action.

When I meet a small town guy here, I approach him, I get familiar with him,

and then I take him to the court's bar.

I already had breakfast with bread prickly pears and chilli.

This is the court's bar, it's the epicentre of justice!

- Two coffees and pastries! - No two coffees, that's all! - No, lots of pastry!

- What happened to you? - I received a note and it was written...

Hello? Yes, The court's bar. Lawyer Terenzi?

- Lawyer Terenzi! How boring! - Here he comes!

Hello, I'm lawyer Terenzi. Who's speaking?

Commendatore! How are you?

What? He called you "dirty cuckold"?

Fine! No, I was saying that it's slander! Article 594.

Just a second I take a note. "Dirty cuckold...."

- Then? - I received this note, signed by the magistrate.

- Have a look what it's about, I am not an expert. - It's simple.

Also I am a good friend of the magistrate.

- Also, my lawyer friend-of-mine... - What is it? - Something serious.

- Your case is serious! - No! - Yes indeed!

- Could I end up in jail? - No!

- But you need some recommendation from the magistrate. - One moment.

I know that this "magistrate" is an important character,

who is more important than a carabinieri officer.

- I can do anything with the magistrate! - Like with the pastries!

Look!

Can you see that person getting off the bus?

- He's a magistrate! - That one?

His name is Salomone De Russo.

He heads 20 cases per day, for 70,000 lire a month!

His son didn't want to study, he threw him out of the house....

...and now he is the centre forward of Lazio soccer team!

His son earns 300.000 lire a month and he is only 21.

He is going to retire soon, and will get 30.000 lire a month.

That's why he's always nervous.

Every morning, before going to court, he comes here and orders....

- A very strong camomile tea. - We've got a very strong Lazio team!

- You have it. - Doesn't it interest you? - Sport does not interest me.

I have never watched a soccer game,

and I have never read sport newspapers,

in which one finds pictures of pro-cyclists with long noses.

Why do pro-cyclists have long noses?

- However soccer is different! - Really? It's the disease of this century!

And you talk about soccer to me!

I have many reasons for not talking about this sport, but you provoke me.

On Sunday you were not at the stadium to see the game!

But your son was there! What triangulations!

- Were you at the stadium on Sunday? - Of course! We won 5-0!

Then you did not see the car crash on Via Appia...

as you claimed in court. - Yeah. I was there! - How could you have been?

The crash took place many KM's away...

from that clamorous arena you call a stadium. How did you do it?

- I'm going to charge you! What's up? - Nothing, officer.

I am a judge.

I'm going to charge you! Put the camomile tea on my bill.

- Do I pay it? - No, I'll pay it!

Get moving or I'll send you to jail!

You and some other friend of yours... I understood.... Something!

If all judges treat you like him, I'll end up in jail!

Here! Good, clerk!

Have you mistaken my office for a tavern, for a dive?

- Are you having a meal here? - A meal?

It's a very humble breakfast, with four olives and some onions!

- With my salary I can't afford to eat anything else. - Meaning what?

The other one with a coke, cigarettes... It's not a market!

Take away all this filth - it smells like a rubbish dump!

- Where should I go? - Go wherever you like!

Will you ever be sent into retirement?

- When they send me, they'll send you to retirement also. - What a pleasure!

We have the same number of years of service.

25 years we have been living this life. You pass sentences and I record them.

I look paler because I earn less. You, thanks be to God...

No, you look ugly!

Are you surprised? Perhaps you are a Michelangelo cupid?

Come on! Let me check the papers.

- Thanks for the compliment. - Not at all. - Can I fetch my hat?

Yes. Where.... There?

- Your hat, on Cicero's head! - It's not your head.

Go, clerk!

Take away this stuff!

And never again put that hat on Cicero's head.

- Yes, but it is still marble! - But this marble means justice!

- It means legality! - My God! - Go!

It's incredible! You understand, Cicero.

Here we are quickly going towards total chaos, dear Cicero.

I feel all alone in this world of corruption.

This life seems to me like collective madness!

Here they indulge in too much, my dear Cicero.

I am the only one who condemns. I condemn!

I condemn! I apply the code!

Cicero, we should send all humanity to jail,

nobody excluded.

Whoever condemns deserves to be condemned!

It'sIt's a rule! Like military service!

Six months of military life and one year of compulsory prison.

My dear, if everybody did it... Look here!

Fraud violence, robberies petty thieves...

And I should take pity on such people?

With total simplicity they tell the most amazing stories!

These people can claim in their cheeky way...

I did not eat the cat!

- Do you think I eat cats? - No, but you steal them!

- I am a gentleman. - It's claimed you cut its throat.

Maybe it was a different cat!

OK let the injured party in, but of course not the cat!

- Quiet! - Dogliotti Pasquale.

- Dogliotti... - Pasquale. - Pasquale. Of...

- Of... - Whose son are you? - Ah! Joseph. - Joseph.

- Your mother? - Mary. - Of course! Joseph and Mary.... Jesus, Jesus!

- What's Mary's family name? - Cancelli. - What?

Leave that formality out! Do you confirm... You confirm.

The innkeeper claims you stole the cat to eat it.

- What do we do? - Do you really believe it?

That's an innkeeper and innkeepers never tell the truth!

Quiet! That's not relevant to the charge. Explain the facts.

That one over there often comes to my tavern to have a quarter-litre.

- Watered! - "You damned,... - Hey!!

If you don't calm down, I'll put you both in prison!

It's bad enough the Republic is disturbed for a cat!

What?

- Keep going. What did you say? - Nothing.

The last time he left the tavern with something under his jacket.

- Eating a cat must be awful. - But it's sweet.

- I ate it in the evening. - A cat is still a cat!

My god! It's disgusting! Anything else to add? No!

There are no more witnesses... Prosecutor!

Minimum sentence according to law.

Ah! Defence!

Distinguished judge, when a little while ago....

you asked me to assume state defence of this "cat-o-nist",

I gratefully accepted.

Therefore I would like to ask a question of your conscience...

as a fearless judge.

Do cats have any guilt in all of this? No!

Society! Society is made of raging dogs!

Society as written by the divine poet....

Looking for me, right? I thought so! Let's see...

Section 2 must be this way.

- Leopoldo, hold on. - I hope you aren't telling me the usual stuff!

- I want to resolve this matter. - Why do I have to come too?

- I'm shy! - You shouldn't be; you've done nothing wrong.

- Can't you do it on your own? - No, they all must look at your face.

They all must understand that you cannot easily be kissed.

I am the son of a Christian Democrat MP.

- Dignity, morality... - If you tell the judge... - Excuse me!

If you need anything just ask me. Weapons licence, hunting licence....

- Private stuff... - Are you a porter?

No, I'm one of many who are here. If you need a lawyer...

- You see? You need a lawyer too. - Yeah! - It's better to pay the fine.

- Let it go! - No! I'll call a lawyer, but I won't pay the fine!

It's a matter of principle.

- Good! I didn't think you could get her acquitted. - Article 599.

- Ah, right! - Morning, lawyer. - I don't need your help.

I know that but that couple needs a lawyer.

- Let's see. - Lawyer, this is just the case for you.

- Lawyer Anastasi, member of the Forum. - Nice to meet you.

- My pleasure. - What is this about? - A kiss in Villa Borghese.

- A not-given kiss in Villa Borghese, right? - Yeah. - Not given.

- Mencacci, you can go now. - Lawyer! - Please.

On the suspicion of a kiss, they have given us a fine.

- You go. - I find him a customer and he doesn't even let me be a witness!

What times!

- Lawyer I've been condemned! - But you'll be acquitted on appeal.

I'll consider the judgement carefully; the case interests me.

If necessary I will bring this cat to the Cassazione!

- What? - Quintiliano! - Holy San Gennaro!

Although I gave my word of honour, they gave us a ticket.

But I won't pay the fine and I will bring the matter to court.

I have no doubt that you are telling me the truth....

but it is an absurd thesis for the Defence.

They found you at 21;30 in Villa Borghese inside a locked bambino,

- bent over your girlfriend... Nobody will believe it. - What are you saying?

I was having her read my degree thesis. I can swear it!

I swear I was not kissing her. Isn't that enough for the judge?

She can be a witness too. Isn't that right, Teresa?

- Is it so? Really? - Sure. We did not kiss each other.

No we cannot swear it, we have given some kisses on the cheek.

For New Year's Eve the day of your birthday...

- You are Ponticelli Alfio. - Yes, Alfio Ponticelli.

I am a sales rep; I deal with electrical goods,

and during the week I often work outside of Rome.

It doesn't interest me! You must answer my questions!

You are accused of deserting your family unjustifiably.

- Do you acknowledge this? - Sure. - That's it!

He acknowledges it. Let the injured party in.

Mrs. Elena Baronti.

Elena Baronti!

- Good! Baronti Elena Ponticelli? - Yes.

- Is this man your husband? - Yes. - Good. Come forward!

Come forward, don't be scared.

Come!

The Law protects the weak and the abandoned.

Speak out.

After almost four years of regular marriage,

my husband all of a sudden has decided to desert his family.

- What? - Yes, without an explanation!

It's not true; I gave an explanation.

Quiet!

What is the reason for deserting your own wife,

leaving her, as written in the papers, for 3 months without an income?

What is it?

The reason is very simple, Your Honor.

- I discovered that this... - Could I, Your Honor?

I would like to answer myself for my client.

Ponticelli, as he has explained already, is a sales representative.

He's always travelling; he lives a hard life; he is never at home.

He has had a moment of "d�faillance", as the French say.

He lost his "self-control," as the English say.

But I am sure that he did not intend his gesture to be seen as...

abandoning his family... - Tell us the truth!

All right, if we really have to say it,

Mr. Ponticelli happened to believe he was,

as the French say, a "cocu".

- A cuckold! He said "cucu" . - In French.

This is too much! As the representative of the private prosecutioner,

I cannot tolerate that that side....

keep sullying Elena Baronti's reputation,

she is a respectable madam and an exemplary wife!

Let us ask this "Casanova", dressed as an electrician now,

if he knows who this mysterious lover of his wife might be?

Where is he?

- In a suitcase. - What? Did you chop him up?

Quiet! They never shut up!

Yes, in the suitcase.

I'm asking you, following my client's wish, even though it is unusual,

to listen in this court room to this audio reproduction.

I am technician, Mr. Judge. I'm a technician.

I deal with electric goods and during a brief absence of theirs from Rome...

I installed a hidden microphone in their bedroom.

- Hidden! - In their bedroom?

Clerk, there is nothing to be seen. You hear it! Keep going.

Clerk, it's coming from the device. From there!

- "Hurry up, I have little time." - Did you hear it?

- What? - A man's voice his voice!

Listen!

"Hurry up, I have little time."

- So? - Hey! - What? Is that all?

Yeah, that's all!

Those are very clear words spoken in my own bedroom!

You are wrong - it was the glazier talking to his assistant.

- What glazier? What a jest! - Calm down, electrician!

- Electro-technician. - This proof is not enough.

Miao, miao! Woof, woof! The moaning of so and so!

It is not sufficient proof to establish adultery,

and justify your actions. Don't look at me, it is so!

Any proof has to be examined in the interests of justice.

Hold on, they just brought me the proof that "catches someone red-handed"!

To you? I mean, are you sure that this proof...

Certainly! The proof of my wife's adultery!

- It's a movie! - A movie? - A film! - Watch it here?

- Certainly! - You really want to show that you are, you are...

- You want to do it? - Yes! - Then let's see this film.

Lawyer, you can't allow all this.

That's right! Your Honor, enough! This is making a mockery of justice!

I object!

- Silence! - I think it's enough, Your Honor!

I appeal against these weird events in this palace of justice!

I object too! This man is capable of many tricks!

- All your appeals are rejected! - But I... - Quiet, electrician!

- What's this? - Electro-technician. - Quiet or I'll have the court cleared!

- Quiet! - Quiet! - Shut up, you are noisier than the others!

We will continue hearing in camera. Have the doors locked!

I'm a technician and this is my film projector.

- You can hear?! - and you can see! - Of course! It has sound and image!

- This is an 8mm film. - But I only go to the opera!

- What are these things? - Very interesting and very important things.

Indeed, after that audio recording

I was going to be away from Rome again,

so I placed three film cameras in my flat.

Crazy stuff!

They were all wired together at the switch.

Because of development, I have received the film just now.

- Me too, I haven't seen it yet. - You haven't seen it yet? - No.

- And you want to show everybody... - Yes! Yes! - Yes! He's determined!

Sorry, Alfio I really do not understand why you want to expose...

That's it'stop it! I seldom go to the movies because I have little time!

When I have a film home delivered, I don't want to miss it!

- It's interesting, right? - I hope so. - Shut the windows!

- Fine! Please, madam. - Please, lawyer. Move aside!

- Please. - Please, madam. Are you okay? - Thanks.

- Here it is! - Should I write this down, Your Honor?

Later, clerk, later!

Sorry.

Clerk, move over a bit; we are squashed together like sardines!

You are bothering the madam.

She's entering her house without knowing she's being filmed.

Modern technology!

I don't gather what's unusual.

Lawyer, wait. Hey! Hey!

- Let's end this joke, please! - One moment, madam.

- Here we are examining some evidence. - Which one? - That up there!

- That evidence! - Shall I write it down? - No, you can see it.

- It's a nice house. - Yes! Yes!

Ah! Here is the man.

Who is that one? The glazier, right?

- That's it it's a disgrace! I'm leaving! - The civil defence is leaving the room!

Lawyer, you can leave, madam stays! Let me see this film!

- I stay too! - Yeah! - He is cleaning his shoes on my armchairs?

He is thinking of his armchairs when he should be thinking of something else!

Madam, you did not tell me!

My sleepers too!

- Complete service. - How comfortable.

Where is he going?

Where did they go? Screen! Technician! Electrician!

The camera was between the bottles inside the bar!

And his head? It's still him, right?

- You coward! Even the liquor I preferred! - He's insulted me!

- You are a coward using such means! - Mr. Judge, here he is!

Mr. Judge, I would like to avoid my client making a fool of himself!

Keep going! Do you want to stop just now?

Keep going!

Your Honor, I still would like to protest!

Silence, or I'll have the court cleared and watch it myself! Quiet!

Enough! I'll ask for a divorce!

Lawyer Tonnaro! But that is Tonnaro in his underpants!

- You! My best friend! No! - Calm down!

Quiet!

Quiet!

- Go away! This trial is behind closed doors! - All right!

- Go away! - I know what they talk about behind closed doors!

About the usual dirty stuff! About people behind bushes in the park,

and about the girls in Ostia who also show.... - May I? - Please.

They also show their thighs - my husband told me!

- Tell me, father. - Section 2, please. - Are you a witness?

- No, a defendant. - What? - A defendant.

Yes, your Honour, I am guilty....

and I admit all the offences with which I am charged.

What?

Ah! That one, I got it!

Father, repeat in Italian - the others also have to understand.

- It doesn't matter. - Indeed it does, you cannot defend yourself in Latin.

- We must follow procedure. - But I do not want to defend myself.

I would be twice guilty if, after having committed evil,

I then tried to avoid the consequences.

I am guilty of damaging things and injuring people.

- Even injuring people... - Yes.

Write it, clerk, also injuries. Crazy stuff!

- Father, it's not about a slander? - Unfortunately not.

Lawyer, shall I continue behind closed doors?

- No lt's not necessary. - Then we keep it open? - It's the same.

Dear father I am sorry. Even if I respect you as a person,

you are charged with fairly serious offences.

You have caused a brawl in a pool room,

and you caused damage worth about 300.000 lire. - It is the pure truth.

- I'll close the doors. - Hold on! - No, I'll close them! - It will all be explained.

- No he wants to be condemned. - But there must be a reason!

- Why did you enter that bar? - To play, of course.

I did not know anybody in Rome and I was here with my 30 kite cubs.

- Who? - My kite cubs. - Kite cubs?

- They are puppies of a kite, which is a predatory bird. - Ah! Yeah, a predator.

- Then? - I have chosen this rather adventurous name,

because at my place, Gardone Val Trompia, close to Brescia,

I founded a motor scooter association for youngsters.

- Scooter... - Motor scooter. Scooter, Vespa... - Ah, Vespa!

Any kid who has a Vespa can become a kite cub.

The kite cubs.

Having heard that our Holy Father was receiving us in Castel Gandolfo,

- we decided to leave for Rome by Vespa. - By Vespa?

- From Brescia to Rome how many KM's is it? - About 600.

- And you drove 600 KM's sitting on a Vespa....?! - Yes.

But we were happy. When the goal is welcome, one does not feel the effort.

As KM's passed, instead of being tired,

we were more and more happy and singing. We sang...

Siam le api di don Michele, operose facciamo il miele.

Di virtu, di bonta, siamo pieni fino a qua!

Siamo i nibbi di don Michele, a nessuno facciamo male.

Per lealta, castita, siam le truppe della bonta.

Per lealta, castita, siam le truppe della bonta!

Siamo i nibbi di don Michele, le lambrette son nostre ali.

Svolazziam, poi piombiam e il demonio noi sgominiam.

Al segnale di don Michele noi spieghiamo le nostre vele.

Veleggiam, navighiam e il demonio noi speroniam.

Siam le api di don Michele, operose facciamo il miele.

Di virtu, di bonta, siamo pieni fino a qua!

Siamo pieni fino a qua!

- Zeffirelli, was it corn? - No, beans!

- Gallini and Durante. - Yes father. - Fall out.

Halt!

Article 35. In what case can a kite cub use a catapult?

- To defend the unarmed from evil's traps. - Yes.

- You have disobeyed, I'll apply article 91 to you. - No!

Quiet! Be brave and receive the correct punishment.

Attention! Execution of article 91. Left turn! Left!

Forward, march! One, two! One, two!

- The boys group from Gardone Val Trompia has arrived. - I see.

They are the boys of that famous don Michele. I'll welcome them; you can go.

Close ranks! Right turn! Right! Halt!

Position!

Aim!

- Fire! - Ah! - Ah! - On your feet! - What's he doing?

- One, two! One two! - What's happening here! Are you crazy?

Article 91: "Who by the catapult hurts by the catapult suffers."

Well done, father.

I have been told of your methods to educate these boys.

But I did not know you were doing it with such "emancipation"!

Later I'll explain it all to you, but for now let me dismiss my boys.

Boys, leave the bikes and go to visit Rome on your own!

- Alone? - Yes, alone, but... One moment, boys!

Hold on! All of you come here and hand me your wallets.

- No, I won't accept it. - With no money it's pointless to walk around!

I don't understand!

- Give me your wallets. - But why? - Rome can be visited freely.

- But trains and Coke? - All right, then keep something.

You left with 2.000 lire each, therefore you have 56.000 lire.

- Durante keeps 6.000 lire and pays for expenses. Give me 50.000 lire. - No!

So you will be stronger in order to beat temptations.

2.000... 45.000 you gathered, 3.000 is missing.

47.00048.000... You give me 1.000 more.

Always smart, eh?

Boys remember; no pool, nothing of the sort.

Only monuments and museums. In Rome there is a zoo as well.

- We know it already! - The walrus has arrived, go to see it.

Durante, when you get back, I'll ask you about the walrus.

It's your responsibility: Take them to the zoo.

Go and be good.

Bye bye!

Your honour, I told you this

because money was the reason

for me entering the pool room.

Do you want me to believe that You went to the pool room to play?

You can believe what you like, Your Honor.

I went inside there because of that money. - No, it's not true!

- Quiet! Who has spoken? - I have.

Who are you? Who gave you permission?

Don Michele is lying; the argument took place because of me.

Do you know this woman?

- I have never seen her. - He's lying; don Michele knows me very well.

- If he doesn't want to tell the truth I'll do it! - Quiet!

- Lawyer, I'll just lock the doors. - Yeah, when the cows have left.

- Shall I listen to the woman? - Yes. - Open doors? - Open doors.

Don Michele, I'll listen to the woman... open doors.

I saw don Michele for the first time a month ago, on the street,

at the bus stop.

I recall he was waiting next to me. I noticed him immediately.

- I could touch his elbow. - Touch his elbow?

- Lawyer I close. - No, let's listen. - Keep going.

It was a bus to San Giovanni and we got up.

There was the usual crowd and I was always next to don Michele.

- When we are there, let me know. - Yes, keep going.

Ticket!

Really close to don Michele, actuallyglued!

We were like sardines among those people. - Really close!

That's when it happened. Shameful! But I must tell the truth.

One moment, miss.

Your honour, now we should close...

No, I want to keep it open for now.

Keep going.

As I said, we were really close to one another.

Temptation became irresistible.

While don Michele was buying a ticket,

I noticed his wallet full of money.

Miss!

Please!

- Please, excuse me, let me through. - How rude!

Sorry.

Don Michele realized that I was the only one who could have taken his wallet.

He chased me for more than an hour.

- Miss listen... - Why have you been following me for an hour?

- You took... - Stop it, you ought to be ashamed!

Miss, listen.... Miss!

Don Michele followed me down to the pensione where I live.

He was ready for anything.

If you don't get out at once, I'll make a scandal.

Why do you keep misunderstanding my intentions?

I came in here just to get back the money you stole from me.

I don't know what you, re talking about.

As far as scandal is concerned, I could cause one, but I won,t.

- I feel pity for you. - Enough, I did not take your money.

Look.

- Look with your own eyes. - Do you think I am brainless?

On the bus already I understood you were the thief.

Then when you threw the wallet away, I was certain.

You see? I could have you charged,

but I won't and I already told you why - I feel pity for you.

- You can do it, I haven't... - Do you really want to end up badly?

- Worse than how I ended up? - But you still have time if you want.

I have no time, every time I try to get out, it ends up badly.

Right then it happened. -. What shouldn't have happened.

Anna, open up!

Open up!

If that man had found don Michele in my room,

I wonder what would have happened.

Anna, open up!

Why did you lock the door?

Open up!

Anna!

- Why did you lock up? - I was sleeping.

Today you look good.

Come on, put on your good dress, I found somebody for you.

- I don't want to come out. - If you found a fool to support you,

you can't lock me out right now! - I have nobody.

If you don't want to work, it means you've got money.

- They kill each other! - No, that's Raul the boyfriend; he's only hitting her.

Remember, you work, but I "gobble up" the money.

No, not that money, give it to me!

Go away!

Father, I want to tell you the truth.

I stole that money,

but I need it to go back to my hometown

and get out of this life.

I was about to give it back to you, but that bastard got it all.

- Where has he gone now? - To the pool room close-by.

OK, I am sorry for you.

As soon as that priest came in it caused pandemonium.

3 pool tables out of order, 20 broken sticks and a ball on my forehead.

I claim 250.000 lire of damage.

I'll decide if you are going to have it or not.

I'll tell the truth about that night.

Up until now I didn't do it because I didn't want to accuse Anna,

who has now become a good girl.

But my entrance into that bar did not happen how it was described here in court.

I entered that pool room with much reluctance,

because we priests are not allowed to enter such places.

But I had no choice.

I thought about various solutions,

but in the end I was convinced that to get the money back without using violence,

my boys' money,

there was only one way left.

An unusual way for a priest,

but in my situation I had no other option.

Excuse me.

- Is it possible to have a game? - What? You want to play a game?

Are you sure that he went into the pool room?

I saw him! And he's got our money.

- Let's have a look. - Yeah.

- He's playing! - With our money.

Thanks.

Move over.

I am in a hurry, could we do just two single shots?

- Two single shots. - However it goes.

However it goes.

I start.

Listen...

I meant... Aren't we betting?

- The loot. - OK, let's have the loot.

50,000, eh?

I'll put it here.

Mine is here, and yours?

- Pretend that mine is here too. - What?

You trust a priest, right?

- We trust? - Yes. - Whatever, we...

Whatever, we...

Move over.

What do you think of it?

You're quite good, but with God's help, one can do better.

Come on!

Thanks. Good-bye, sons.

One moment, father!

Father, one moment!

- Now you go away like this... - It's over.

- I won the money and I'm going. - You must give me a return match, bet on it again.

- You are crazy. - Bet on it again!

Calm down guys, I'll tell you something.

This money was mine. - He says that it was his!

This money belongs to the boys of my association.

This morning it was stolen from me. - So you came here for this reason.

- I don't know anything. - Let me explain. - What you explain...

- Ah! - What happens?

- Ah! Was it you? - I? But what...

- What happens? - I don't understand.

Ah!

Therefore everything that happened that night, happened because of me.

That's why I want to be charged.

No, I'm the only one guilty.

Don Michele tried to get that money back by force for me.

He gave the money I stole to me,

that's how I managed to get back home.

Lawyer he acted like that as a good deed.

All right, minimum punishment... The brawl, the damage still stands.

The damage stands.

It's true; I am guilty.

OK.

OK.

In the name of the Italian people,

after seeing and examining articles 185, 588, 590 of penal code,

- I condemn... - It's unfair!

- I am the guilty one. - Quiet! Take that woman away!

I condemn Mezzocchi Michele to a punishment of 3 months in jail,

with all benefit from Law,

and I refer the parties to a civil court for damages compensation.

- You can go. - Thanks. - Not at all.

Jesus! Jesus!

Don Michele, are you angry with me?

- I am sorry but I had to talk. - I am sorry too, but you shouldn't have.

- But now it has ended, and ended well for you. - And for you?

I could not leave you alone, I was even told you were in jail.

- Who told you that? - It was Raul.

He came to my town, to the shop where I now work,

and he told me you were in jail.

- He also asked me if I wanted to go back to him. - What have you answered?

I sent him away, then I heard of your lawsuit and I came.

To look for trouble that doesn't belong to you.

But it was my fault; you were condemned because of me.

God's ways are endless.

It means that the path to your hometown led through San Giovanni

on a bus, through a wallet stolen from a poor priest.

Father, I don't understand much, but I am sure of one thing.

In my hometown they are not right.

In my hometown they say that hunchbacks, priests and straw bring bad luck.

Instead you brought me good luck, lots of good luck!

Mr. Judge!

- Have you seen this? - What is it?

It's Corriere dello Sport, it talks about your son.

I already told you that my son's business doesn't interest me.

He broke his leg during training.

He deserved it!

Did I tell him to play soccer? No!

- Then he should have broken both his legs. - Be on the danger list!

I don't care.

Excuse me, did you see a good looking young lady with a lawyer...

- We had a break... - But I am here to work.

I don't look at women.

Madam, did you see a young lady with a young man?

The lawyer told me; "Go to the judge" . I went and...

I don't know anything lots of people through here.

I am thinking of my lawsuit,

I must be a father to this wretched fellow.

Thanks.

- Long espresso. - Can I make a call? - Yes, go ahead.

Will you allow me?

Hello?

Can I talk to the lawyer?

Yes, I'll wait.

I am calling my colleague, I want to know what he thinks of my thesis.

As far as you're concerned, is Leopoldo right in this legal action?

- No, but if he wants to... - But if he pays the fine, his record is clean.

- And the offence is cancelled. - But he committed no offence.

- And he never will commit one. - I think so too, he's an old fashioned guy.

- Me too, but I would gladly pay a fine for you. - Yeah?

One a day.

Hello? Hello!

Hello!

Teresa! Teresa!

- Where have you been? - We went to use the phone.

Miss was with me, I had to call a colleague of mine,

telling him about my thesis... - What did he say?

He said that I am right, the thesis I chose is the best.

- What's up? - Nothing.

Mencacci, you ought to know that professional secrecy does exist.

In this case it does not exist; I am a witness.

- Witness of what? - Of the kiss.

- What does it mean? - I saw the kiss.

I cannot remain silent. Isn't that right, lawyer?

That night I did not see anybody at Villa Borghese.

I don't care about Villa Borghese, but the kiss took place.

I am a witness, I walk, I go about, I observe, I look.

- My oath is worth as much as yours. - No, I am the son of an MP.

- I don't care about MP's. - Leopoldo Pirelli! Teresa Ricci!

Dear, it's our turn.

Come, lawyer.

Lawyer, the kiss did happen.

- Cigarette. - Cigarette?

It's better than nothing.

Today's youth think only of sport.

- Futility, frivolity! - How terrible!

Look at this one, 20 years old and he is already in court.

- Think what he'll be like at 40! Clerk, call him. - Meniconi Ferdinando!

Here he is! Meniconi Ferdinando!

They called Meniconi Ferdinando that's me, indecent behaviour.

Indecent behaviour! You called me. Meniconi Ferdinando.

Can I? Good morning, indecent behaviour.

- Good morning, Your Honor. - I am the judge.

- Good morning, can I? - Off! Off!

A cigarette, your honour? It's a Nazionali why, well...

Put those cigarettes away, you can't smoke in here.

Clerk!

- This is not a "smoking parlour", it's a court. - Everybody is smoking.

Nobody is smoking... In the inkpot? Look at this guy!

Look, look.

Go down!

- Name. - Meniconi Ferdinando, called "the American."

Are you American?

I want to know if you are American or Italian.

I am called the American because I say such things...

Don't say them.

- Are you Italian? - Yes. - Then speak Italian.

- Here you are in an Italian court room. - That's right, I say such phrases...

- Then, name. - Meniconi Ferdinando, innocent.

- Of Innocent. - No, I am innocent.

Son of Mario, with a clean record too, you can check.

We are not interested in your past, nor in your father's.

A friend of mine told me that in America...

Everything should go, on record... - Here we are in Italy.

You don't teach us our procedures.

Your mother? - Anigretti Margherita.

But I have always lived with an aunt who loved me as a mother.

Aunt Costanza... I can recall her as if it was yesterday....

Aunt, why did you leave me?

She left me alone in this torment.

Here put on record that I have always lived with Aunt Costanza.

We are not interested in your family's history.

If you keep giving me that condescending look, I'll have you arrested.

- Who will you arrest? - You! - Who? - Quiet!

What do you mean, sorry?

- Come on, let's talk about facts. - Let's talk about facts.

You've been charged with....

- Indecent... - Indecent behaviour, improper behaviour...

such as to offend public morality. - You shouldn't be proud of it.

I ain't proud of it, I'm just telling the facts...

- Quiet! - Clerk you should let us consult.

You should let us consult.

- Lawyer Terenzio, do you defend him? - What lawyer?

I don't need a lawyer. - It's compulsory; it's court-appointed.

He has a clean record and there is indecent behaviour, can I talk to him?

Yes, go ahead.

- Can I, your honour... - Go.

- We are in court, young fellow, calm down. - What do you want?

Money.

- We should ask for a lot of money, I was robbed of my clothing! - Ssshh!

- We should ask for a lot of money... - Have you got money for me?

For you? Are you kidding? I haven't got a lira!

- What are you saying? - Shut up, have I asked you something?

Have I asked you for money?

Go.

- We can keep going. - Then, so....

- Have I asked you something? - Can we keep going? - Yes.

- Meniconi. - Meniconi! - He's even deaf.

Then...

Your honour that one asked me for money.

- Did you see? Terenzio! - Did you see, Terenzio?

- As usual! - He asked me for money.

- You got it wrong. - No I got it right. - You got it wrong!

Explain your facts.

So, your honour....

In this sultry summer, I, in my work duties, didn't have...

- What work? - What work?

What's your profession?

- What job? - How do you live? - I deal.

I'm busy, I do the best I can.

Your honour, I mean... - We understand how you keep busy.

He keeps busy. Let's move on.

I have been sick.

I had an illness.

I had an illness that stopped me, that nailed me to the ground.

I had an illness, I was on health insurance.

I was good, your honour.

I had an illness.

Otherwise nowadays I would be in America.

This youth without a cause!

- Holy Mary, what does he want? - "what does he want"?

- Keep going! - "Keep going" .

In this sultry summer, I couldn't go to the beach.

So I went onto a blossomed lawn.

I was there, all strong and...

At your service, general Custer!

We'll take the position kept by the 7th.

We have already seen Pale Face's smoke.

OK, general Custer? Let's meet at high noon.

OK, we'll slaughter the Apache. Certainly, general Custer.

I arrived at the place where we workers,

during a sultry summer have a refreshing bath: The "marana" .

"Hello boys" .

- OK, did you dirty my water? - We didn't bathe yet.

- Who does the "marana" belong to? - To the American!

But how did you bathe?

Naked, your honour.

Naked!

Fully naked.

- Don't you believe me? - Hey! - These people don't believe me.

In America, a civil country... Also a friend of mine was there.

In Kansas City, everybody bathes in the nude.

The poor, the rich, the immigrants, the court chancellor... All naked!

You don't believe it?

- Your honour, she doesn't believe it. - Come here.

She doesn't believe it because she can't really bathe naked.

Come here.

Carabiniere, bring him here.

- Do you think you are at home? - He thinks he is at home.

Come on, don't make problems.

- That's enough. - Lawyer, I have no money.

Enough, young fellow - patience has a limit.

For you it is not improper...

to get caught having a bath naked, in a "marana" .

But that's not the sea! That's the "marana" .

It's a public place, people walk past.

Nobody walks past.

For this reason we gather to train.

- We do the KRON. - What? - The KRON.

- Like in the American movies. - I'll have him arrested.

I'll have him arrested, pass me a stamp.

He must be crazy!

Your honour, we can swim all different styles,

like you see in the American movies.

We can do it like BUSTER CREBOL, VESTER UILLIAM...

VESTER UILLIAM... She is the one, your honour.

You told me it was warm. Damn you!

- American, play Tarzan! - Come on!

- No! - Play Tarzan! - No, shut up! Shut up!

We'll give you a cigarette.

- What? - A cigarette! - Give me it. - Catch this knife first.

Aaaaaahhhhh!

Look, there is a crocodile over there. It's getting close, kill it.

Aaaaaahhhhh!

Zac!

Zac!

What are you doing now?

I'll give you a bite on the head!

- Crocodile I'll kill you. - The police are coming!

Crocodile, I'll kill you! I'm gonna break your spine!

I eat my crocodiles. I eat lots...

You want to drown me? I'll eat you!

I'll cancel you from the world!

The bedouins! Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta!

Ta-Ta-Ta...

Hey, they have gone.

Lame!

Damn you! The cigarette...

Gee, what a he-man!

Where is my warm clothing?

Lame, you coward!

Little clothing, where are you?

I left you here, don't play jokes.

My God, they stole my clothes!

It's better that who ever took my clothes give them back to me....

because if I catch them, I'm going to bite their heads off!

They left me naked!

Naked as a worm in the bad weather, in the damp of the marana.

- It's the fault of that guy over there. - Keep it quiet. - There he is.

Why did you keep Meniconi's clothes?

- In that marana bathing is forbidden. - That's the reason.

It's forbidden and you went there to swim.

- Keep going. - We always do this.

We take the clothes sit down and wait for them to get out.

Did you understand? He got my clothes.

But that day I was called at the station.

- My wife was giving birth. - What?

- My wife had given birth to a baby. - A son with that face!

I took the clothes I was happy and I didn't realize what I was doing.

- Then I forgot. - Right.

They left me naked as a worm!

All hidden behind a bush.

Then, bit by bit, like a snail,

I ventured into the night.

Gee, what a night!

Your honour, I set off and fell three times.

So, limping around, I tried to look around in that dark night.

Then I saw a gate.

Anybody here?

Is there a pious soul that will let me through this gate?

Hey!

Whisky?

Someone rang, it must be Dado.

Yusef, go press the gate's button.

He promised me he'd come, actually he said on the phone:

"You'll see how I show up!

What a mad guy!

Let's turn all the lights off and pretend nobody is here.

- Fine! - One of us will hide and we'll scare him to death.

It should be someone he doesn't know at all, for example Miguel.

Your Honor, I would like to ask you something.

- Do you know the prince of Serramontana? - No.

- Would you agree to play a joke on him? - Certainly. - Then listen.

Get this sword and hide behind there.

We'll make it dark and when he comes in, he'll think nobody is here.

What's happening? Is it a ghost house?

Aunt Costanza you know I'm in this situation, help me.

May I come in? Gentlemen, may I come in?

Gentlemen, may I come into this house?

Is there anybody here?

Is anybody in this house?

Damn, how cold!

Gee, what a house!

Gentlemen, where are you hiding?

- But is it Dado? - Of course, he is changing his voice.

Well, there is really nobody here, gentlemen.

Here there is a naked man walking around the house.

Nobody here.

What is it?

A drink from Kansas City.

Gee, how disgusting!

Oh, two little hands!

This is silver.

I don't even have a pocket.

Gentlemen, well, no-one here?

Is it possible I can't even get a scarf around here? Gee, what a night!

How can it be possible that a man...

A lit window! Someone must be there.

- My stick and hat! - Excellency, why do you...

- My stick and hat! - Why? I don't understand.

My stick and hat!

It was an innocent joke; you shouldn't get upset like this.

Crazy!

Excellency, wait!

My God, I don't even have glasses!

My God!

My nephews leave me here on my own and they know I can't see.

But in my will not even a cent!

Not a cent!

- Oh God! Madam have you got a scarf? - Luckily there is somebody.

- Have you got a scarf? - Quiet! - No-one here, just me, madam.

- I'm on my own in this situation. - Come here.

- No, I'd like a scarf. - Are you a friend of my damn nephews?

Be damned those who took my clothes!

- It must be someone from here. Your nephews, madam. - Sit down.

- Where? - There. - I'm freezing. - With no glasses, I can't see a thing.

- You can't see a thing? - No. - I can't see either for the cold.

Madam, please, do you have a scarf? You remind me of Aunt Costanza.

She gave me this.

Gee, how many rings you have!

- Do you have a scarf? I am cold! - Read. - You want me to read?

- But after you give me a scarf. - I don't have my glasses.

- Madam, I'll now read. - I am nervous. - It's in a foreign language! - Better.

You are lucky.

A friend of mine told me that I'm good with foreign languages.

I had an illness! - Read! - I was stopped! - Read.

Yes, madam. But after you give me a scarf!

"La revue francaise."

But it's French! Don't you know French, idiot? - Calm down!

I know very well American from Kansas City.

Also a friend of mine told me! I have no problem with cacophony!

- "Very well! - "Very well!

I had an illness!

I was stopped, otherwise I would be in America by now!

You look like Aunt Costanza. You're as alike as two peas in a pod!

You're as alike as two...

You can't take these off!

It's French.

They are arguing here!

- Knocking at the door. - I found my glasses!

- You found them! - I'll put them on.

Give it to me!

- This is fanaticism. - No. - You are a fanatic, you try.

Let me hear sweet old lady, let me hear this song!

- "Nous mangeons." - They "eat" like crazy, they are foreigners!

"Allez..."

C'est si bon!

C'est si bon! - What?

SI REBON! - But who are you?

I am Meniconi Ferdinando called the American.

I was playing Tarzan and a crocodile arrived in the swamp.

I don't want to be boastful!

I grabbed a knife... a paralysis is coming!

We lost the oldie! C'est si bon!

Don't scare me, move your arm!

- Don't scare me. - He's naked! - He's naked!

He's naked! There is a naked man!

I am the naked man! Call the protector of morality.

It's me! Meniconi Ferdinando, the naked American!

You left me naked! Aunt Costanza, why did you leave me?

Help! A naked man!

A naked man in the house! Help!

- Poor lady! - May I, gentlemen?

I am the naked man. That old lady is screaming because I scared her.

Someone stole my clothes!

- Call the gamekeeper. - Throw him out of my house.

- The dogs! - Murderer! He wanted to rape my old grandmother!

Poor woman! Saint of a woman!

Your honour, they had seven dogs chasing me!

Lawyer, it's all clear.

- The offence for indecent behaviour stands. - Are you doubting it?

He was naked around people! What impression do we leave in society's eyes?

- Let's give him a lesson. - The Defence...

I entrust to the clemency of the Court.

Quiet!

"ln the name of the Italian people, given Penal Code article 527,

we condemn Meniconi Ferdinando... - They condemn me! - Quiet!

To 3 months in jail with all the benefits of the Law.

If you swim once more in the marana, you'll be charged for both cases!

- And now? - What is it? - You ruined my record!

I didn't ruin it, you did!

Stop being so full of yourself with me. You bored me!

- I have been sick. I had an illness! - Go!

- Get out. - You ruined my record.

Why did you leave me Aunt Costanza?

You wanted money!

Aunt Costanza left me alone. I did not do anything, carabiniere.

- Your Honor, I'll take him in. - Take him out!

I'll meet you again. I'll meet that judge again!

I did not do anything!

Let go of me, I'll walk by myself!

I have to meet him again!

I had an illness that stopped me!

Good-bye!

Teresa, we won!

Teresa!

Excuse me, you saw my fiancee? We won the lawsuit.

- Who is your fiancee? - The woman who was with me.

- The good looking tall woman? - Yeah. - She is very nice.

- What a nice woman. - What is it?

Why?

- What happened? - What happened! - An accident?

- Worse! - Tell me.

- Calm down. - You tell me... - Have you got money in your pockets?

- Do we have to go to the hospital? - There is no time to lose.

She has "jumped the fence" .

- What? - She played sexy! Got it?

- She left with the lawyer. Got it? - Teresa? - Yes.

Teresa!

Good evening.

- Luisa Ceccarelli. - Yes, that's me. I didn't do anything.

Quiet!

Do not interrupt; it's not your turn to speak. Do you have a lawyer?

I got it. Lawyer Terenzio, you are the court-appointed lawyer.

- As usual. - Call the policeman on the case, Sframeci Nicola.

Your Honor, I will now explain.

I was on duty close to piazza Vittorio.

I noticed this woman approaching passers-by and annoying them.

In particular, she approached, as in my report,

one Pampinelli Virgilio,

a farmer by trade.

I can only say this:

I was in piazza Vittorio "Manovelli",

waiting for a friend of mine who works at the market.

Suddenly a "female" got close to me.

That one!

She told me; "Sweet dark would you like to know ecstasy?

I don't what ecstasy is but it must be something foreign.

Your honour, it's false.

Sometimes I drink a bit.

When I drink, I think back to the good times and forget about the present.

I went from one triumph to the other,

I was the major variety actress from 1910 to 1925.

A whole generation loved me,

the one who fought the First World War.

Gloriana, the grand the beautiful Gloriana.

Gloriana.

Yes, that was me.

I also posed for the poster showing Italy at war.

Gloriana!

During the times of the great, real war,

the times of the war in the mud, in the trenches,

we were all in love with you.

When we met in the winter of 1917,

because we had already met,

in that dirty and smoky hut of Tappa headquarters,

transformed for the occasion into the Soldier's Theatre.

Going back to those memories!

What a pleasure it is for the heart.

Among the images of the past,

Going back for a second...

to dream about it all!

Each time a soldier leaves,

he brings to mind a golden memory.

A happy memory...

of the times that were!

A simple name, Lulu!

E zum tara taru.

E zum tara taru!

Playing, he pays attention to every heart.

In the first line, behind the bullets,

the soldier dreams of his far away love.

Din dulu, You dream of eyes blue!

Slim waist and thin pointy nose!

Staying down here for six months,

You dream only of limbs!

E zum tara tara.

E zum tara tara!

This is the memory You never forget!

And you'll see it, wherever you look,

every hour you'll see, You'll always see the limbs you wish for.

It has the effect of a cannon shot. Boom!

Always Lulu, Lulu!

E zum tara tara.

E zum tara tara!

Playing, he pays attention to every heart.

E zum tara tara! E zum tara tara!

The soldier dreams of his far away love.

Din dulu, You dream of eyes blue!

Slim waist and thin pointy nose!

Staying down here for six months,

You dream only of limbs!

E zum tara tara.

E zum tara tara!

This is the memory You never forget!

And you'll see it, wherever you look,

every hour you'll see, You'll always see the limbs you wish for.

It has the effect of a cannon shot. Boom!

Always Lulu, Lulu!

- To your health! - Cheers! Hurrah!

After four months at the front, your arrival has shaken the whole regiment!

- You are very kind, major. - Everybody is here...

officers, subalterns, youngsters.

- Tomorrow they leave for the front line. - Poor boys.

- I should get changed, please. - Let's go.

I hope my accommodation is not far. I am a bit tired.

Lieutenant, have you arranged for Miss, accommodation?

She'll have to manage.

I can manage, Major, Sir, I am so tired.

Tomorrow, early morning, the train leaves for the rear.

I've got little time to sleep.

- Who gives me a hand? - I, dear!

- Excuse me Major Sir. I thought... - Thought what?

I thought the miss was going to leave tonight.

- Then? - You did not find a bed for me?

- Miss it's not my fault. - My hat, please.

- At the barracks, at the tavern! - I don't know.

- It's impossible! It was your job. - It's a trap, Sir?

Miss, I am mortified; I don't know what to say.

It's unforgivable.

Major, Sir, I could have a solution.

- Speak captain. - One of us could give up his room.

Then he would manage somehow. I would manage!

- You too, guys, right? - Yes.

Sure! Good idea.

Captain, don't you think that the chosen officer...

might come back to his room?

He could forget his toothbrush,

his sleeping bag, his overcoat, his hat!

He could get worried about my hunger, my thirst...

and bring some champagne! - I don't think so.

- What do you do in your civil life? - I am a regular officer.

I am also a regular and I know men well.

- What are you saying? We officers are gentlemen of honour! - That's right!

The Army's honour is made of conquests.

- What are you imagining? - I don't imagine, Sir, I foresee.

But unfortunately I have no choice!

You challenged me captain. Leave me the choice of weapon.

I would like to choose the officer who should sacrifice himself for me.

Let me see.

You, Gloriana, chose the most harmless,

the most innocuous, the one who would have never managed.

I have chosen, Major, Sir. That one!

- Lieutenant. - Lieutenant Lorusso.

Infantry. Dept. Drivers.

- Tonight you are on duty. - Yes sir.

Do you know Miss Gloriana? She sang at our show.

Yes sir. I met her a while ago.

- Your accommodation is at Bepi's tavern, right? - Yes sir.

You will escort miss Gloriana to her accommodation.

Yes sir, Major, Sir. Where is miss, accommodation?

At your accommodation!

- Mine? But I... - Miss will sleep in your room.

- Major, Sir but I... - Silence!

You must escort Miss Gloriana to her room,

and be sure that she will be fully satisfied.

- You understand? Fully! - I should...

Silence!

- Where are you going? - To satisfy, Major, Sir.

Go.

I knew that when we had arrived in the room you would say. -

- Lieutenant, aren't you forgetting anything? - I... No.

- Here everything is in order?! Water is in the jug?! - Yes, I have everything.

- Towels?! - They thought about it all.

- Light! - It's on. - It's on!

I didn't notice it! But she could not undress in the dark.

I undress in the light or in the dark.

- In the dark too? - Yes. - Shall I go? - Good night, lieutenant.

Good night, miss.

- Lieutenant? - Yes.

- You forgot your hat. - My hat!

The hat is necessary.

Decoration is there. Thanks to the decoration, a soldier recognizes his superior.

- I've got two, I'm a lieutenant. - So they can salute you at once! - Yes.

- Shall I go? - Go, lieutenant.

- The lieutenant is going. - Hey!

- The lieutenant is going. - It happens.

Yeah, it happens.

Lieutenant.

- Have a good sleep. - No, what good sleep!

- Tomorrow we go to war, we go to the front. - I know it, lieutenant.

- Good luck. - Here, luck counts for little.

- Today we are here, tomorrow we will be there. Do you know where we are? - I don't.

- Where are we? - We are in the trench, we are put to the sword.

- We are under the snipers, aim. Do you know the snipers? - No.

They shoot you in your back!

I go there, risking being shot by a sniper,

and leave you here!

I would come to war with you but I can,t.

- Today you aroused us. - I?

Yes, with that little dress, with that song.

I did not sing that song!

Now you got my room as well!

- Miss, we should... - Lieutenant!

- Miss, I beg you! - Lieutenant! - I go to the front.

I beg you! I came here to work.

I tried to make you a bit happy,

to lift your souls.

Let's lift our souls!

Lieutenant, I want to be generous.

Truly you are nice.

- Close your eyes. - Close my eyes? - Yes.

- Well? Lieutenant! - Here I am.

- What is it? - I gave you a kiss.

- Where? - Here.

- It was a kiss? - Yes. - I thought it was a fly.

No, lieutenant, it was a kiss.

Then... you gave it to me!

The lieutenant is going.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

Good night.

- You are a mediocre man, lieutenant Lorusso. - Yes sir.... What?

You have made a bad impression for our regiment.

That woman is really beautiful, she shouldn't be here!

- That is exactly what happened! - I lost my bet.

- Miss... - She probably told you she was tired.

- How do you know it? - Please!

You have to know women! They use tactics you don't know.

Do you know what they call Miss Gloriana?

"Gloriana the horizontal."

A woman that changes company every night.

Captain, Sir, she is not horizontal nor vertical.

It's not right to speak badly of her. She is here to lift our souls.

She lifted mine!

Major, Sir, she lifted mine.

Lieutenant Lorusso!

You forgot your hat.

One moment.

Captain, perhaps it's not elegant for a young lady to walk down

in her dressing gown among so many men!

I thank you for your kind words a little while ago.

Lieutenant, come and get your hat back.

- I? - Yes, you.

Come on, be brave! Come and get it.

Go, or I'll demote you.

I obey.

Captain Sir the lieutenant is going.

In reality I spent the night on the balcony.

I wanted to respect Gloriana's honour,

to thank her for saving mine in the eyes of the regiment.

Then at sunrise....

Lieutenant Lorusso, you have been very kind, thanks a lot.

It was a big sacrifice!

By the way, lieutenant, I don't know your name.

- What's your name? - My name is Salomone. - Salomone.

- What a funny name! - It's the name of an ancient king who had 12 wives.

- He! - You are nice, Salomone.

You are the only honourable man I've ever met.

You call honourable a man who behaved like me?

I slept on the balcony all night while you were there...

Gloriana, I would say...

- The lieutenant is going. - We'll meet again.

Given proof of the offence of drunk and disorderly behaviour and enticement,

I ask for this woman to be condemned to 2 months in jail.

Your Honor, I let rooms.

If you condemn me, my licence will be revoked!

- Lawyer, the Defence. - I entrust to the clemency of the Court.

- Lawyer. - Enticement and drunk and disorderly behaviour...

have been proven!

- Lorusso, the sentence! - Right, the sentence.

In the name of the Italian people

I acquit....

I acquit the so-called Luisa Ceccarelli,

because the facts attributed to her are not a crime.

Thanks.

Your Honor!

Your Honor.

The hearing is over.

Your Honor, what's happening? You're pale!

Yes, I know! I shouldn't have acquitted that woman.

I applied the code badly, but it was the first time in 20 years.

That woman is unlucky, Cicero.

We men are bastards,

because when a woman is nice and young everybody courts her.

When she is old, that's what happens!

I did not want to be hard on her.

One can be hard up to a point!

We have to stop to be hard!

Cicero, I know what you think of me.

You think that a judge's duty is to apply the code,

otherwise what would happen to justice!

But you are made of marble, I am not! I would like to see you in my shoes.

The guy of the "marana," deserved it, he walked around naked!

Although a policeman had taken his clothing.

The poor don Michele acted with the best of intentions.

Yes, he caused a brawl.

But he did it to save a woman from corruption.

Cicero, in your times you judges...

...were revered, respected.

You arrived at the forum on your chariots.

Yes, you had chariots!

Marco Tullio, you also had a villa in Formia.

Don't deny it, I know it.

Today's judges, we have Vespas!

I don't even have a bike!

If I can't catch a tram, I walk!

It's easy to say:"Condemn!

But who, Cicero?

Here there are people eating cats because they are hungry.

To apply the code...

...I had to condemn the one who ate a cat.

Be honest, is it right for you?

I don't think so. To condemn a criminal is easy!

To condemn the London monster, the "Saponificatrice" .

Cicero, I am but a small judge.

I have to judge small people,

people forced to live in today's world.

In today, s world, would you be able to say who's right and who's wrong?

Please! Cicero do you want me to tell you the truth?

I begin to understand that my son was right not to study.

Kicking a ball, my son earns a lot of money!

You understand Cicero? Be quiet, I keep my mouth shut.

Come on Lazio!

Come on Lorusso!

We make their heads spin! We are winning the game!

Italo, we are winning the game!

Slow down, Pandolfini, listen to me.

Let me tell you what to do. Always keep the ball at your foot!

- Keep away! - We are winning the game!

What's he doing?

Ah!

He did it!

- Who? - Meniconi. - Your honour!

- I found you! - Keep your hand down. - It's a sign of destiny!

Now you have to give my clothes back! - Police!

You deserved it! Put your hands down or I'll call my son!

- Who is your son? - Lorusso. - You are for Lazio too!

- Shout; "Come on Roma" . - No. - Shout: "Come on Roma" . - Come on Lazio!

I'm gonna eat your nose!

- I'm for Lazio! - You, stop it!

- Stop it. - He laid his hands on me. - I had an illness!

- I am a judge! - Oh God! - You need a witness.

I could be a witness, but a judge forebade me!

- You'll pay for it! - Come with us!

I am a judge!

Come along!

- Now where are they going to take him? - To the magistrate's court!

To the magistrate's court!