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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,892 --> 00:00:19,901 For the past few years, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington 2 00:00:19,902 --> 00:00:24,902 have been meeting regularly for a series of pointless conversations 3 00:00:24,903 --> 00:00:26,903 and this is one of them 4 00:00:27,204 --> 00:00:28,204 Ricky: Testing. Is that right? 5 00:00:30,343 --> 00:00:33,004 Ricky: Hello and welcome to the Ricky Gervais show 6 00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:35,622 with me Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant. Hello 7 00:00:35,742 --> 00:00:39,617 and the little round headed buff on that is Karl Pilkington. 8 00:00:39,737 --> 00:00:40,716 All right. 9 00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:46,763 The Ricky Gervais Show 03x13 sync and corrections by bellows and Sp8ky for www.Addic7ed.Com 10 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,209 - **** - Go on. 11 00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:52,746 Nah, I'm just saying you know, when you look it like that over a year. 12 00:00:52,866 --> 00:00:53,685 Yeah. 13 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,544 It's the last stuff that's going on 14 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:56,855 what's * for you? 15 00:00:56,856 --> 00:01:00,656 If you were doing your own review of the year, what would you put in the front cover? 16 00:01:01,557 --> 00:01:05,857 Uhh the day I grew up, I was... I was eating biscuits. 17 00:01:09,164 --> 00:01:09,868 All right. 18 00:01:09,988 --> 00:01:15,258 Just because you know, it's uh.. I never thought of saying that this year. 19 00:01:15,378 --> 00:01:18,193 So it was just... I was there on the computer. 20 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,080 Just having a cup of tea and a biscuit 21 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,634 and I put th biscuit on the windowsill 22 00:01:22,754 --> 00:01:25,329 - so I picked it up. - Why would you do that? 23 00:01:25,449 --> 00:01:27,085 Why did you have a biscuit on the windowsill? 24 00:01:27,113 --> 00:01:28,474 Because I'm sat next to the windowsill. 25 00:01:28,487 --> 00:01:30,972 It's like some sort of cartoon. I put the pie on the windowsill to cool down. 26 00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:31,714 Yeah. 27 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,662 *** stole it. 28 00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:36,761 So I was eating that and uh I was enjoying it. 29 00:01:36,874 --> 00:01:39,767 Put the rest of it back down from next right after the cup tea. 30 00:01:39,887 --> 00:01:43,004 And uh I saw. *** down. This is... 31 00:01:43,124 --> 00:01:44,609 Well, we'll read about this later in the diary. 32 00:01:44,644 --> 00:01:46,941 So and then I saw like a little crumb moving 33 00:01:46,942 --> 00:01:48,942 and I thought what is going on there? 34 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,942 : Yeh. - So I looked down closer 35 00:01:51,062 --> 00:01:55,027 and there's an insect, that is see-through but with legs. 36 00:01:55,055 --> 00:01:59,442 And just sort of running off with a crumb 37 00:01:59,646 --> 00:02:00,646 until I could *** 38 00:02:00,647 --> 00:02:04,447 and when I looked I noticed there were lots of these little see thru things 39 00:02:04,448 --> 00:02:07,448 and they were obviously all like: Oh a biscuit. 40 00:02:07,449 --> 00:02:11,096 That's exactly what they were saying. 41 00:02:11,216 --> 00:02:13,293 Let's all get over here. 42 00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:18,890 Like I said it was amazing cos it was they're Miles away from what I am about. 43 00:02:18,891 --> 00:02:20,891 Karl: - And yet. Bug: - Not that far. 44 00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:26,192 But they still like a bit of biscuit and they just wait that that happen 45 00:02:26,693 --> 00:02:27,693 and... 46 00:02:27,694 --> 00:02:29,094 Karl: That's what's nice, isn't it? That's what's nice 47 00:02:29,095 --> 00:02:31,395 about the nature of the world. 48 00:02:31,396 --> 00:02:33,196 You know we can invent iPods. 49 00:02:33,197 --> 00:02:35,597 We can bring out better vacuum cleaners. 50 00:02:35,598 --> 00:02:39,698 Erm.. At the end of the day, you can't make nature up. 51 00:02:39,699 --> 00:02:43,399 - And see the see-through thing eating a biscuit. - :- You did. 52 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:48,000 Err.. That's why of sort of where I've gone this year... I'd say uh anything. 53 00:02:48,412 --> 00:02:50,231 I've sort of gone anywhere to... 54 00:02:50,541 --> 00:02:52,599 ...to learn more stuff about weird stuff. 55 00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:54,002 I don't know what you've learnt. 56 00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:58,003 - You've learnt that uh... - A creature which you can't even identify 57 00:02:58,104 --> 00:03:01,104 you don't know, right? You don't know what it is 58 00:03:01,105 --> 00:03:04,105 looked like it nicked a bit of crumb? 59 00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:05,879 I don't know what knowledge is that. 60 00:03:05,907 --> 00:03:07,707 What is that, how is that useful? 61 00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:11,208 - Just because everything is changing. - But it's not useful. 62 00:03:11,209 --> 00:03:13,309 It's not useful to you and it's not useful to anybody. 63 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:16,410 You can't pass that on that as knowledge cos you don't know what it was. 64 00:03:16,411 --> 00:03:18,611 - But Karl thinks... - But why happens, why it happens? 65 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:23,112 Rick, Karl thinks that the grub has *** a taste *** 66 00:03:23,113 --> 00:03:24,713 - in the same way that Karl does. - Yeh 67 00:03:24,714 --> 00:03:26,614 that's why he's amazed. He says I can't believe it. 68 00:03:26,615 --> 00:03:27,715 We both love hoblops. 69 00:03:27,716 --> 00:03:31,616 *** 70 00:03:31,617 --> 00:03:37,117 what I am saying is that these things have been around for years. 71 00:03:37,237 --> 00:03:39,218 - Yes. - Maybe longer than us. 72 00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:40,738 - Yes. - Right? 73 00:03:40,858 --> 00:03:45,298 Now, their life isn't changing in the way that I was at. 74 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,859 They live in a little crack in the wall. Yes. 75 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,330 But, they're eating biscuit 76 00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:52,394 - prfffff. - And that was never meant to happen. 77 00:03:52,395 --> 00:03:56,684 The squirrels in the park, there's people feeding them Mars bars and everything. 78 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,792 They're getting fatter, they're getting bigger, they're getting more violent 79 00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:05,006 now all the time, you know, they're gonna cause more trouble in there. 80 00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:06,348 Well, what makes you think they are violent? 81 00:04:06,468 --> 00:04:08,932 Just cos when I'm sat in the park and what have you. 82 00:04:09,052 --> 00:04:11,121 They really like coffee and they come at you now, 83 00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:15,101 and sort of just jump up on the bench and sort of attack you for food. 84 00:04:15,902 --> 00:04:18,302 They are not happy with acrons now, they want a bit of croissant. 85 00:04:18,303 --> 00:04:20,803 And that's what I am saying, they've changed. 86 00:04:21,004 --> 00:04:24,104 They are changing all the time. Just when that grub having a biscuit. 87 00:04:24,105 --> 00:04:26,005 Everything's just trying different food out. 88 00:04:26,006 --> 00:04:27,306 They'll eat a gato soon 89 00:04:27,307 --> 00:04:28,807 everything is getting more intelligent. 90 00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:30,108 The goldfish. 91 00:04:30,509 --> 00:04:31,509 Memory's got better. 92 00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:34,910 Chickens are more intelligent than people thought they were apparently. 93 00:04:34,911 --> 00:04:38,411 Everything's... time, time makes you more intelligent. 94 00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:39,844 Well.. 95 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,513 No, they do. That's a fact, isn't it? 96 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:44,516 If you're knocking around longer, 97 00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:49,722 then you'll learning more, cos more stuff is going on and you soak it up. 98 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,458 And this is what these insects are doing. 99 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:56,162 They are all learning. 100 00:04:56,477 --> 00:04:58,017 - You know what I mean? - No. 101 00:04:58,137 --> 00:05:00,132 I saw a cockroach playing PacMan. 102 00:05:03,672 --> 00:05:08,208 It was on the Internet, right, and somebody had linked to the cockroach to a... 103 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,544 So, I can't even bother explaining it but... 104 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:16,516 But that's what I am saying, everything's moving on. 105 00:05:17,328 --> 00:05:19,431 Stephen: Yeah, but, but pac man was such an old game 106 00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,056 it was like before the Internet. 107 00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:25,725 Yeah, the cockroach is so good. Get a life, man. Hello Playstation 3? 108 00:05:25,727 --> 00:05:30,360 Hello? Hello? Yesterday's cockroach. Oh fucking hell. 109 00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:34,163 All I am saying is I do watch a lot of insects and stuff 110 00:05:34,283 --> 00:05:36,470 and you never see them wasting time. 111 00:05:36,571 --> 00:05:38,305 They're always doing something. 112 00:05:38,309 --> 00:05:39,643 An ant is carrying something somewhere. 113 00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:42,146 Sometimes I am watching it and it goes somewhere and it comes back again. 114 00:05:42,147 --> 00:05:43,247 I think it doesn't know what it is doing. 115 00:05:43,248 --> 00:05:45,650 But at least it is trying. 116 00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,963 What is it doing? What is the ant doing? 117 00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:48,949 Work. 118 00:05:49,069 --> 00:05:50,990 He's building a house or.. 119 00:05:50,991 --> 00:05:53,491 What's the point? It's everything he does is pointless! 120 00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:56,245 - How can you say that? - It's pointless, it's just.. 121 00:05:56,365 --> 00:05:58,825 I'll tell you what. If there was a bigger sort of being 122 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:02,228 looking over the world and they went like, right, let's look at the human race. 123 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:05,493 And, oh, they'd look at that ants first. And they'd go, right. 124 00:06:05,613 --> 00:06:08,366 They've got their hands full. They are carrying big stuff. 125 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,471 They're trying to save time by carrying stuff that's way too much for them, really. 126 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:14,306 They could do that between three of them, but they don't. 127 00:06:14,346 --> 00:06:17,246 They are all grafting hard and they go right, hit the human button. 128 00:06:17,546 --> 00:06:19,446 They hit the human button and they watch the humans. 129 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,948 The amount of people who are sat about doing naught 130 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,851 lily Allen, in London at 2:00 A.M. so what? 131 00:06:25,047 --> 00:06:28,724 What are we doing? - I agree with you, but what are you doing? 132 00:06:28,797 --> 00:06:31,196 You see, the Allen analogy, joking aside, 133 00:06:31,197 --> 00:06:37,497 I think there you hit on the fact that life is about working for what you get, 134 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,599 and I am right behind that. 135 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,234 I am right behind that. 136 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,571 I think that I think that's absolutely true. 137 00:06:44,691 --> 00:06:48,041 So then what's dangerous. Boiling kettle to an ant. 138 00:06:48,142 --> 00:06:51,755 At the end of the day, right, you know, that's that's evil. Isn't it? 139 00:06:51,971 --> 00:06:52,646 What? 140 00:06:53,032 --> 00:06:54,547 You know, I don't... 141 00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:57,150 I mean since I was making out as the medieval man. 142 00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,820 We've had an ant problem. In the garden. 143 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,058 Suzanne said we've gotta get rid of these. 144 00:07:03,091 --> 00:07:05,691 I said: These are a bit out of order, they are out outside. 145 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:09,194 Yes, but it's getting a lot of them and she went and put the kettle on. 146 00:07:09,197 --> 00:07:12,397 I said I can't handle this. I went in, all right? 147 00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:16,236 What, you didn't want to see the ants dead. That's sweet, you know, that there. 148 00:07:16,313 --> 00:07:20,313 Yeah, they might be causing a problem but I don't wanna see this, this mess. 149 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:23,415 I think when she went out, she poured the hot water on it 150 00:07:23,416 --> 00:07:25,715 and that ***. 151 00:07:25,716 --> 00:07:28,916 I went out, had a cup of tea and thought, ******. 152 00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:32,375 So I took my cup of tea out there and sat there, 153 00:07:32,601 --> 00:07:37,558 and then I just saw one come back from wherever he'd be. 154 00:07:37,829 --> 00:07:40,629 Karl: One ant. It looked devastated. 155 00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:44,391 Because that might have been away. 156 00:07:44,511 --> 00:07:47,168 As far as I was concerned he'd been out to get a leaf or whatever. 157 00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:48,870 Came back. Devastation. 158 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:52,574 And 'sit that what... That, that's the thing... 159 00:07:52,608 --> 00:07:54,810 It summed up death for me, that. 160 00:07:54,844 --> 00:07:57,313 The, the ants are dead, they didn't know anything. 161 00:07:57,384 --> 00:08:00,384 Suddenly, they were there, next minute lots of water. Dead. 162 00:08:00,885 --> 00:08:03,453 It's the people who are still living in life. 163 00:08:03,487 --> 00:08:05,421 That are the saddest, aren't they, after death? Yeah 164 00:08:05,456 --> 00:08:06,423 and that summed it up. 165 00:08:06,457 --> 00:08:07,557 What do you think... 166 00:08:07,592 --> 00:08:09,926 I think the ant'd been better off being there when it happened. 167 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,527 How could you tell the ant was? 168 00:08:11,562 --> 00:08:14,030 So ***... I mean they run around in circles anyway, don't they? 169 00:08:14,065 --> 00:08:15,899 But this was just kind of what was going on. 170 00:08:15,933 --> 00:08:18,035 What did it do to slow down, when you got near the nest? 171 00:08:18,069 --> 00:08:21,905 Did it drop the leaf and you'd see it run the last few inches? 172 00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:25,576 It, it just kind of got close, a double-take almost. 173 00:08:26,971 --> 00:08:30,034 Almost like it has gotten here *** and it was like "hang on a minute" 174 00:08:30,154 --> 00:08:31,462 this can't be it, there's no one around". 175 00:08:31,582 --> 00:08:33,089 Then he walks in it, "no this is the home". 176 00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:36,053 They went back, and then he just stops for a minute 177 00:08:36,173 --> 00:08:39,758 and that for me, that's the sort of thoughts, 178 00:08:39,791 --> 00:08:42,291 things that you can look at as a human. 179 00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:44,694 - Yeah. Yeah. - Appreciate, and understand it. 180 00:08:44,729 --> 00:08:46,929 And go like, yes, that is true, that is like life. 181 00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:49,666 Instead of oh am I awake or am I asleep or what. 182 00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,638 Well, might as well be asleep because you're doing nothing else. 183 00:08:51,710 --> 00:08:54,710 Oh God. 184 00:08:57,111 --> 00:08:58,811 I was at the supermarket recently. 185 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,663 Just walking past the condoms. 186 00:09:03,783 --> 00:09:06,918 Ah, and uh, you never know when you're gonna run out of balloons. 187 00:09:08,656 --> 00:09:13,491 And uh, it was weird because the condoms in the supermarket 188 00:09:13,492 --> 00:09:16,427 are contained in a kind of cane in a plastic cage. 189 00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:20,831 So it makes it all the more embarrassing buying them. 190 00:09:20,866 --> 00:09:23,570 Try to open this thing and, and this guy who works there 191 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,807 he's always a sort of middle aged guy, and he works and he is: 192 00:09:25,808 --> 00:09:29,308 You have to take that to the checkin. 193 00:09:29,309 --> 00:09:30,809 Sorry, you can't open that yourself. 194 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:35,005 And so I just left it there, I thought forget it. I'm not gonna take these to the... 195 00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:39,149 Cos if you get served by a woman, it's sort of, it's a bit embarrassing.. 196 00:09:39,269 --> 00:09:42,386 Cos that's all you are buying. 197 00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:44,522 Cause she knows what you're up to. 198 00:09:44,556 --> 00:09:47,057 You're gonna fill 'em up with water and throw 'em at students. 199 00:09:47,091 --> 00:09:48,959 And, um, but anyway.. 200 00:09:48,993 --> 00:09:50,861 The reason I am mentioning this is cause it reminds me 201 00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:53,364 of the conversation we've all enjoyed in the past, Rick. 202 00:09:53,366 --> 00:09:58,837 About when Karl bought for his girlfriend for Christmas, 203 00:09:58,839 --> 00:10:00,639 - was it a? - A two pack. 204 00:10:00,673 --> 00:10:03,208 - A two pack. - Yeah wasn't it - ..Of condoms. 205 00:10:03,243 --> 00:10:06,044 Wasn't it buy one get one free? 206 00:10:06,079 --> 00:10:06,900 Yeah. 207 00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:11,017 So that was a couple of years ago, Karl. The thing was "condomgate." 208 00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:13,554 Have you *** your eyelids up since then? 209 00:10:13,587 --> 00:10:15,487 I just think as time goes on... 210 00:10:15,488 --> 00:10:18,490 You don't sort of buy each other as many presents. 211 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,191 Oh, sorry, that was bumper year, was it? 212 00:10:20,226 --> 00:10:22,460 That was, that was a hell of a... 213 00:10:22,462 --> 00:10:25,464 Oh, I remember when I used to buy this stuff like condoms. 214 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,758 It's gone downhill since then. Oh no, she didn't know she was getting them. 215 00:10:29,102 --> 00:10:31,337 - What I mean is this last ...! Ricky: Of course she didn't. 216 00:10:31,372 --> 00:10:32,773 That's what, that's what I mean, though. 217 00:10:32,807 --> 00:10:35,041 It was sort of interesting too, too, when I gave 'em to her and said, 218 00:10:35,075 --> 00:10:36,209 "there you go, open them." 219 00:10:36,243 --> 00:10:37,910 She was not expecting that. 220 00:10:37,945 --> 00:10:39,079 And as time goes on... 221 00:10:39,113 --> 00:10:42,448 No, she was probably expectin' a piece jewelry or a holiday in Paris. 222 00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:45,818 It's more difficult when you need to surprise someone isn't over time 223 00:10:45,823 --> 00:10:49,192 no, but no, no, no, no, but the surprise thing is always meant to be a good surprise. 224 00:10:49,225 --> 00:10:52,825 Yes, but don't. If you always get something good,. 225 00:10:53,226 --> 00:10:54,827 It's like the three wise men. 226 00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:57,296 What did they get the second year to the little baby Jesus? 227 00:10:58,064 --> 00:11:00,131 You know what I mean? Once he's had that gold... 228 00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,403 It's like, oh, I, I've. 229 00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,839 I've sold all my artwork, myself. I've gotta get, 230 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,372 I've gotta get him something better than that now. 231 00:11:07,373 --> 00:11:09,474 It's best to give him the myrrh and... 232 00:11:09,509 --> 00:11:11,643 Ricky: And next year, get him the gold 233 00:11:11,678 --> 00:11:13,713 it is like, you know, how people make a 234 00:11:13,746 --> 00:11:16,146 big thing out of have it away for the first time. 235 00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:18,217 And they go, "oh I'm gonna hat tonight.:". 236 00:11:18,251 --> 00:11:22,721 Not the way to do anything. You won't get anything done by planning. 237 00:11:22,755 --> 00:11:26,358 That's a quote. That's an amazing quote. 238 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,328 That would be up there with Newton and Churchill... 239 00:11:29,829 --> 00:11:31,764 That: You don't get anything done by planning. 240 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,507 Oh, he's only gone and written down for a whole fuckin' year. 241 00:11:44,277 --> 00:11:47,813 That, of course, signifies another reading of Karl's diary. 242 00:11:47,847 --> 00:11:50,583 Let's make the most of it. Let's enjoy some of the wisdom of Karl pilkington. 243 00:11:50,717 --> 00:11:56,056 I also think, it's the last time ever we will make an entry in this diary because 244 00:11:56,389 --> 00:11:58,222 you're not gonna keep it, are you? 245 00:11:58,257 --> 00:12:01,526 I don't know yet. I might just get a smaller one. 246 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:06,564 But I found that since keeping a diary, I've gone out of me way to more stuff. 247 00:12:06,598 --> 00:12:09,534 Well you say that but... 248 00:12:09,568 --> 00:12:11,536 Well, let's, let's find out. Let's find out if that's true. 249 00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:13,705 - No, I have. - Stephen: I read a bit in the news... 250 00:12:13,739 --> 00:12:17,876 About people being injured while trying to cut open avocados. 251 00:12:17,878 --> 00:12:20,812 It's food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. 252 00:12:20,846 --> 00:12:24,249 If it's a hassle to get into, well, leave it to the experts. 253 00:12:24,355 --> 00:12:29,789 I have never bought one. I've also avoided coconuts and pineapples. 254 00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:34,825 The amount of hassle to get into these things outweighs the joys they give. 255 00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,427 Karl: Yeah. 256 00:12:36,461 --> 00:12:38,262 It's the same reason why I never bought a pair of Dr. Martin boots. 257 00:12:38,297 --> 00:12:40,198 "Too much hassle when it's time to take 'em off." 258 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,200 Yeah, a lot of me mates used to wear 'em in the 80s. 259 00:12:43,202 --> 00:12:45,271 You know, that, you can't just kick 'em off, can you? 260 00:12:45,304 --> 00:12:46,404 It's a big upheaval. 261 00:12:46,705 --> 00:12:49,073 Karl, you can unlace them, you know. 262 00:12:49,074 --> 00:12:53,545 All, yeah, I mean since found shoes with velcro, you know what I mean? 263 00:12:53,546 --> 00:12:54,846 Why don't you get 'em sponsored? 264 00:12:54,847 --> 00:12:57,447 Cause you could wear a velcro toupee. Stephen: 265 00:12:57,481 --> 00:12:59,349 Cause that would be great if we could do that. 266 00:12:59,351 --> 00:13:01,951 If someone could invent a I little hair piece for Karl... 267 00:13:01,985 --> 00:13:04,954 Velcro's a little bit of Fluffy's got on the top of his head, 268 00:13:04,988 --> 00:13:06,456 his shiny, orange-like head. 269 00:13:06,525 --> 00:13:09,693 Pop a little velcro toupee on. I would love that. 270 00:13:09,727 --> 00:13:11,327 I would to get him wearing a wig. 271 00:13:11,528 --> 00:13:15,330 "Watched a program about twins this morning. It was filmed 16 years ago." 272 00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:18,534 "They are mental. They did everything together including the vacuum up." 273 00:13:18,569 --> 00:13:20,870 "Phone calls had to happen twice, so they could both have the same chat." 274 00:13:20,904 --> 00:13:23,205 And they said the same stuff at the same time. 275 00:13:23,239 --> 00:13:24,606 Well weird. 276 00:13:24,641 --> 00:13:26,541 The bloke who I watched it with 277 00:13:26,576 --> 00:13:28,144 I don't who that is, just some homeless guy 278 00:13:28,177 --> 00:13:29,477 you just invited into the flat? 279 00:13:29,478 --> 00:13:31,011 No, just someone I've been sort of working with. 280 00:13:31,013 --> 00:13:32,079 Yes, sure, a mate of yours. 281 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:35,015 "He said he fantasized about having a way with the pair of twins." 282 00:13:35,016 --> 00:13:36,757 I don't see the point in this. 283 00:13:36,776 --> 00:13:41,289 "If you're gonna have two of something. I'd prefer to have two different women." 284 00:13:41,323 --> 00:13:44,125 "If I had two cars, I wouldn't have the same one twice." 285 00:13:44,192 --> 00:13:45,760 "Same rule with women." 286 00:13:45,794 --> 00:13:49,864 "I don't even normally like buying the same pair of trainers twice in a row." 287 00:13:49,898 --> 00:13:53,468 No, if you're gonna have something new, make it, make a change. 288 00:13:53,502 --> 00:13:56,403 "It's like that fellow who was going out with a woman," 289 00:13:56,437 --> 00:13:58,372 and then left her and went out with her twin sister. 290 00:13:58,406 --> 00:14:00,474 Not worth it. 291 00:14:00,509 --> 00:14:02,176 Not worth it. 292 00:14:02,178 --> 00:14:06,647 It's not worth the upheaval, is it? Cause it is exactly the same model. 293 00:14:06,682 --> 00:14:08,849 "My theory about reading old news is right." 294 00:14:08,884 --> 00:14:11,452 "It's less bad when you know it's old." 295 00:14:11,486 --> 00:14:14,222 There was a story about a weatherman who was fired yesterday, 296 00:14:14,256 --> 00:14:17,092 "for having a nude picture of himself on the Internet. 297 00:14:17,126 --> 00:14:19,061 "But that happen two days ago." 298 00:14:19,095 --> 00:14:21,497 "He's probably got another job by now." 299 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,467 "So, old news isn't as shocking." 300 00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:26,270 Well, old news isn't news though is it? 301 00:14:26,670 --> 00:14:28,270 It's olds. 302 00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:31,339 What are you doing? Just reading the olds? 303 00:14:31,406 --> 00:14:33,775 No, but what I, what I mean is, if someone... 304 00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:36,477 Stick the video on of, uh last week's news, 305 00:14:36,512 --> 00:14:38,646 I just wanna catch up on the olds. 306 00:14:38,681 --> 00:14:40,551 Yeah but, but then it's still news if you, 307 00:14:40,584 --> 00:14:43,384 news is something that you don't know, isn't it? 308 00:14:43,485 --> 00:14:44,685 - If someone tells you... - But that's everything to you. 309 00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:46,420 - That's information, - Karl, not news. - Yeah. 310 00:14:46,454 --> 00:14:48,088 But news is information. 311 00:14:48,123 --> 00:14:50,658 No, the key, the key with news is the word "new". 312 00:14:52,027 --> 00:14:54,395 - No, no, no I don't think it is. Is it? - It is. 313 00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:56,965 It's, it's just, it's just information but they tell you at ten o'clock at night. 314 00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:58,499 It's like, what information's going on? 315 00:14:58,534 --> 00:15:00,201 Bong. Here's some information. 316 00:15:00,235 --> 00:15:02,570 Ricky: Yeah, that you didn't know before cause you couldn't have 317 00:15:02,604 --> 00:15:03,604 cause it only happened today. 318 00:15:03,639 --> 00:15:04,552 Bong. Yeah... 319 00:15:04,672 --> 00:15:07,275 But never mind that. I'll tell you in a couple of days. 320 00:15:07,309 --> 00:15:09,010 It doesn't matter as long as you get the same info. Bong. 321 00:15:09,044 --> 00:15:11,346 Yeah, we can't call it news, though, cause it's misleading. 322 00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,748 We get done. It's called olds. Bong! 323 00:15:13,783 --> 00:15:15,483 Yeah, but listen to me theory. 324 00:15:15,517 --> 00:15:18,720 What I'm saying is, is that if someone in your family... 325 00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:22,690 You know, I don't wanna bring the tone down but someone dies in your family. 326 00:15:22,725 --> 00:15:24,759 Ricky: Hmm. Now say if you're away on holiday, 327 00:15:24,794 --> 00:15:27,930 and they don't call you because they don't wanna ruin your holiday. 328 00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:31,233 And you come home and they go, Uncle Frank's dead. 329 00:15:31,267 --> 00:15:33,435 And you go, oh, when did that happen? 330 00:15:33,469 --> 00:15:35,536 And they go, two weeks ago. 331 00:15:35,571 --> 00:15:40,007 Now because everyone else has got over it, it's not as bad for you. 332 00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:43,144 Because part of bad news is the way everyone's walking around moping, going, 333 00:15:43,178 --> 00:15:45,513 "oh, have you heard the news? Frank's dead." 334 00:15:45,548 --> 00:15:49,450 But because everyone's got over it, time is a healer. 335 00:15:49,485 --> 00:15:51,887 That's what, that's what I mean about old news. 336 00:15:51,921 --> 00:15:53,622 It's better than new news. But, you, but, but... 337 00:15:53,656 --> 00:15:56,793 Yeah, but according to you, the only news that really matters is... 338 00:15:56,827 --> 00:15:58,328 Stuff that affects you. 339 00:15:58,362 --> 00:16:00,196 So it doesn't matter when you, uh... 340 00:16:00,231 --> 00:16:02,432 There was an earthquake. Yesterday. When was it? 341 00:16:02,466 --> 00:16:04,100 Phew, that's all right, then. 342 00:16:04,135 --> 00:16:05,802 Often the aftermath is worse than the actual event. 343 00:16:05,837 --> 00:16:08,304 Two, you only care about things that actually happen to you, so... 344 00:16:08,339 --> 00:16:10,073 The doctor goes, you got a kidney stone. 345 00:16:10,141 --> 00:16:11,441 Oh, when did this happen? 346 00:16:11,475 --> 00:16:13,710 Uh, two weeks ago. Oh, it's all right then. 347 00:16:13,744 --> 00:16:15,078 Doesn't make sense. 348 00:16:15,112 --> 00:16:16,379 No, but the world... 349 00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:18,581 You're not, you're not upset about dead Uncle Frank... 350 00:16:18,615 --> 00:16:20,516 Just because other people are upset. 351 00:16:20,551 --> 00:16:23,352 You'd be upset personally. Wouldn't make any difference when you, when they told you. 352 00:16:23,387 --> 00:16:28,324 Yeah, but it, it is everyone else's emotions that, that make it worse, I think. 353 00:16:28,359 --> 00:16:31,060 Knocking around people who are miserable. 354 00:16:31,095 --> 00:16:33,063 What about warnings? 355 00:16:33,097 --> 00:16:37,100 What about when they do things like smog warnings or, you know, there may be a... 356 00:16:37,135 --> 00:16:39,570 I don't like it on the news when they sort of say, "news just in." 357 00:16:39,604 --> 00:16:40,938 I think, oh, what's this? 358 00:16:40,972 --> 00:16:42,239 You think, oh, what's going on? 359 00:16:42,274 --> 00:16:43,574 But it might be useful to know it. 360 00:16:43,608 --> 00:16:44,742 It might be important information. 361 00:16:44,776 --> 00:16:46,243 No it just makes you panic. 362 00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:50,382 What, yeah but, but sometimes knowing stuff keeps you alive. 363 00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:52,951 Yeah, I, I don't know if I like it. 364 00:16:52,985 --> 00:16:55,020 It's, sirens, you see, I don't like sirens, do I? 365 00:16:55,054 --> 00:16:57,990 I've said to you I think it's a scary noise. 366 00:16:58,024 --> 00:17:00,026 But it's meant to be so you get out of the way. 367 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,262 No, no, it's not meant to be. It's, it's a sign to get out of the way. 368 00:17:03,297 --> 00:17:05,331 I prefer it, if it, like I've said... There's a voice... 369 00:17:05,365 --> 00:17:07,500 Hiya, could you just move out of the way for us? 370 00:17:07,534 --> 00:17:09,202 It can be anything as long as we, it can be a chicken noise. 371 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:12,038 But as long as you know... Well, that's not gonna freak people out. 372 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,439 No, but it sort of make you smile. 373 00:17:13,474 --> 00:17:15,508 But you, you'd go, oh, let's get out of the way. 374 00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:18,044 What, you're cycling along and you hear what sounds like a giant chicken behind you. 375 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,979 Ricky: And you smile... 376 00:17:20,014 --> 00:17:22,048 Cause you know that even though someone is burning to death, 377 00:17:23,451 --> 00:17:25,185 There's something clucking in my way. 378 00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:26,653 Ricky: doo doo do do 379 00:17:26,688 --> 00:17:28,856 doo doo do do 380 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:30,658 Stephen: Oh, that's probably a guy having a heart attack. 381 00:17:32,194 --> 00:17:33,661 "Going to me mom and dad's today." 382 00:17:33,696 --> 00:17:36,798 Oh. "Got there and mom and dad, mom made him some dinner." 383 00:17:36,832 --> 00:17:39,701 "The old woman next door," brackets, "whose mam was a witch..." 384 00:17:39,735 --> 00:17:41,670 Just popped that in brackets. 385 00:17:41,704 --> 00:17:43,062 Just popped that in brackets... 386 00:17:43,182 --> 00:17:46,541 I think we've discusses that before, actually, the old woman whose mam was a witch. 387 00:17:46,575 --> 00:17:47,875 Whose mam was a witch. 388 00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:49,311 Yeah. Oh. 389 00:17:49,345 --> 00:17:51,246 "The old woman next door has been worrying," 390 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,982 "cause she keeps seeing adverts on the telly about changing to digital TV." 391 00:17:55,919 --> 00:17:57,881 "She's saying she doesn't want wires drilled into her walls because that'll make a mess." 392 00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:00,289 "Me dad told her that it doesn't matter..." 393 00:18:00,323 --> 00:18:04,193 "Because it probably won't happen until 2012, and she'll be dead by then." 394 00:18:04,227 --> 00:18:05,961 He didn't say that to her, though? No, he did. 395 00:18:05,996 --> 00:18:07,429 They've got, you know, she's old. 396 00:18:07,464 --> 00:18:08,998 It doesn't, she knows she's gonna die. 397 00:18:09,032 --> 00:18:10,633 I mean it's something we all got in common. 398 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,601 And he's right, isn't he, why is she worrying about it? 399 00:18:12,636 --> 00:18:15,405 Maybe that's sorted it out, put it into perspective for her. 400 00:18:15,439 --> 00:18:18,541 You will be dead when this happens. Don't be worrying about it. 401 00:18:18,576 --> 00:18:20,677 "Went to bed around midnight. 402 00:18:20,711 --> 00:18:25,549 "Suzanne and I decided to sleep tops and tails cause it meant we got a bit more room. 403 00:18:25,583 --> 00:18:29,486 "Me dad had cut a bit off the mattress to fit it between two cupboards." 404 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,755 "It's amazing how much of a difference it makes," 405 00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:33,590 "just sawing off a bit of the mattress." 406 00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:36,693 "You sort of roll to the edge but the weight of the blankets keeps you in." 407 00:18:36,728 --> 00:18:39,663 This is like something from a Roald dahl book. 408 00:18:39,698 --> 00:18:41,732 No, it's just, it's just, uh... 409 00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:44,369 You know, you think, anything you can sort of trim anything. 410 00:18:44,403 --> 00:18:46,705 Can't you, and it normally works? 411 00:18:46,739 --> 00:18:50,709 But with a mattress, I mean he only took off, I don't know what, how long that is. 412 00:18:50,743 --> 00:18:52,477 But he's sawing off about that much on the mattress, 413 00:18:52,511 --> 00:18:54,412 and then has stapled it back together again. 414 00:18:54,447 --> 00:18:56,347 Amazing. And it just makes so much difference. 415 00:18:56,382 --> 00:18:59,484 Of course it does, cause a mattress is a very carefully-designed object. 416 00:18:59,518 --> 00:19:01,186 Yeah you wouldn't think so, though, would you? 417 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,655 Well you would if you had a fucking brain in your nog. 418 00:19:05,325 --> 00:19:09,027 Ricky: So we decided to sleep tops and tails. He just gets stranger. 419 00:19:09,062 --> 00:19:10,762 Stephen: So strange. Why? 420 00:19:10,797 --> 00:19:14,533 He did it to make the room nicer with the, with the cupboards on either side. 421 00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:16,702 So he sawed a mattress in half? 422 00:19:16,736 --> 00:19:18,403 Well, not in half. 423 00:19:18,438 --> 00:19:21,073 Can you imagine how must hard it must be to saw a mattress in half? 424 00:19:21,107 --> 00:19:23,408 What did he use, what, a big electric saw? 425 00:19:23,443 --> 00:19:25,744 Karl: I, it must have been, yeah, cause there's a lot of Springs and stuff in there. 426 00:19:25,778 --> 00:19:27,946 Stephen: Jesus. 427 00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:29,681 Ricky: So what happened to the Springs? They just spring out the sides? 428 00:19:29,716 --> 00:19:31,183 Karl: Well some, some sort of stick out a little bit 429 00:19:31,217 --> 00:19:33,252 but you're not lying on top, are you? 430 00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:36,022 They come out the side. So he's just got a bit of gaffer tape and a staple gun. 431 00:19:36,056 --> 00:19:39,325 Unbelievable. Man alive, it's like... 432 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,394 Does he run it as a hotel? 433 00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:45,831 That's unbelievable. There are squats with better bedding arrangements. 434 00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:49,368 Stephen: "The mad woman next door saw me and said, hello clive", 435 00:19:49,402 --> 00:19:51,437 "you live in a nursery rhyme." 436 00:19:51,471 --> 00:19:55,607 The old man down the road, the old woman next door whose mom's a witch... 437 00:19:55,642 --> 00:19:57,943 Uncle alf who lives in a dingy. 438 00:19:57,977 --> 00:20:00,478 This is like, not a real place! 439 00:20:00,513 --> 00:20:02,080 It's like fucking Narnia! 440 00:20:02,115 --> 00:20:04,149 Stephen: It's a children's TV program. 441 00:20:04,184 --> 00:20:06,919 Unbelievable. Oh, God. 442 00:20:06,953 --> 00:20:12,357 Oh, just all of them there on this broken mattress trying to find the golden ticket. 443 00:20:12,392 --> 00:20:14,293 Oh, oh, God! 444 00:20:16,263 --> 00:20:18,397 Oh, God. 445 00:20:20,401 --> 00:20:22,435 So, uh, what's the big thing of this year? 446 00:20:22,469 --> 00:20:25,972 What's the big thing so far? You'll go, oh yeah, that was the year that... 447 00:20:26,006 --> 00:20:30,443 Uh, I haven't really been following what's going on cause of other, other like, 448 00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:31,678 personal issues. Well, yeah. 449 00:20:31,712 --> 00:20:33,546 What's the big, okay. What's the big thing? 450 00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:35,381 Well it's me boiler is playing up still. Sick of it. 451 00:20:35,415 --> 00:20:38,017 Stephen: Your what? Your boiler? Me boiler. 452 00:20:38,051 --> 00:20:40,920 The boiler that heats the water up and stuff. Which it doesn't. 453 00:20:40,954 --> 00:20:42,188 Stephen: You know what I do in that situation? 454 00:20:42,222 --> 00:20:44,190 I'd instantly get a repairman out to sort it out. 455 00:20:44,224 --> 00:20:46,726 Done that. Done that twice. 456 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,262 It was 80 quid for him just to say, yeah, it looks like you need a new one. 457 00:20:50,297 --> 00:20:52,364 Ricky: Why don't you get a new one then? Eighty quid call out. 458 00:20:52,399 --> 00:20:54,800 Because then you wondered, are you meant to believe him... 459 00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,902 Or is he out to sort of try and con you? 460 00:20:56,936 --> 00:20:59,037 Ricky: Well, he's the expert. Yeah, but is he? 461 00:20:59,072 --> 00:21:00,906 Well, I don't know. 462 00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:02,407 It's like you're meant to get a second opinion, aren't you like? 463 00:21:02,442 --> 00:21:03,249 So, that was the first time then. 464 00:21:03,369 --> 00:21:06,111 So what was the second time? Who came out the second time? Same fella. 465 00:21:06,146 --> 00:21:07,646 Ricky: And what did he say? Why have you called me? 466 00:21:07,681 --> 00:21:09,515 Stephen: Well, I thought you were gonna get a second opinion? 467 00:21:09,549 --> 00:21:12,217 I know, but I called the company, and they just sent him again because it... 468 00:21:12,252 --> 00:21:14,253 Stephen: Well, call a different company. Ricky: What was it? 469 00:21:14,287 --> 00:21:16,489 No, no. What was his second opinion? Eighty quid? 470 00:21:16,523 --> 00:21:18,991 Stephen: I undercharged you. It's 150. 471 00:21:19,025 --> 00:21:21,427 Karl: No, because they must look in the book and sort of go, oh you know, Harry... 472 00:21:21,462 --> 00:21:22,896 Harry went round there or whatever. 473 00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:26,299 And they must think, well he went there last time. 474 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,001 So he knows the situation. 475 00:21:28,035 --> 00:21:29,803 Stephen: Yeah. 476 00:21:29,837 --> 00:21:33,373 And got the same fella again. Ricky: Well, and got the same opinion I assume. 477 00:21:33,408 --> 00:21:35,676 Same. Same answer, yeah. So, so what's his advice? 478 00:21:35,710 --> 00:21:39,279 Um, he just said you know, there are people out there who will touch it... 479 00:21:39,314 --> 00:21:40,495 If you pay the right money. 480 00:21:40,615 --> 00:21:43,751 Well, okay, so you're gonna get an expert in who does this thing sorted out, so. 481 00:21:43,785 --> 00:21:45,453 Well, no. I, I called up me dad. 482 00:21:45,487 --> 00:21:48,956 Oh yeah, oh yeah. He always knows someone who can sort, sort stuff out. 483 00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:50,258 And he said, uh... 484 00:21:50,292 --> 00:21:52,660 Oh, one of your cousins is a, is a boiler man. 485 00:21:52,694 --> 00:21:54,428 And uh, yeah. 486 00:21:54,463 --> 00:21:56,230 They're coming around. But I've never met him. 487 00:21:56,264 --> 00:21:58,632 And it turns out that, that person... 488 00:21:58,666 --> 00:22:02,135 Cause like the whole family, you know, I'm not into sort of keeping in touch with people. 489 00:22:02,169 --> 00:22:02,753 Sure. 490 00:22:02,790 --> 00:22:05,272 Haven't spoke to me brother for like, I don't know, 12 years. 491 00:22:05,306 --> 00:22:08,141 And sister about 15 years and that. 492 00:22:08,176 --> 00:22:11,244 So the idea of this cousin who have, I, I mean... 493 00:22:11,279 --> 00:22:14,281 He might as well not have said he's my cousin cause I'm not gonna know him anyway. 494 00:22:14,315 --> 00:22:17,084 I mean that last fella Harry, might as well have been related. 495 00:22:18,319 --> 00:22:20,053 So they're gonna turn up. 496 00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:23,157 And now it turns out that because I haven't seen the rest of the family, 497 00:22:23,191 --> 00:22:25,325 they're gonna like use this is as a reunion. 498 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,861 Stephen: Oh, what so they're all gonna come around whilst... 499 00:22:27,896 --> 00:22:29,763 They're all coming around. Whilst he fixes the boiler? 500 00:22:29,798 --> 00:22:31,198 Yeah. And I hate it. 501 00:22:31,232 --> 00:22:32,833 I hate family things anyway. 502 00:22:32,867 --> 00:22:35,002 Ricky: So they're gonna come around and just look at you? 503 00:22:35,036 --> 00:22:37,637 Well, yeah, apart from the one who's fixing it. 504 00:22:37,672 --> 00:22:40,307 He'll be fixing it, and the others will just be sat around sort of going, 505 00:22:40,341 --> 00:22:42,176 "so, how have you been?" 506 00:22:42,210 --> 00:22:46,113 It's like, well, where do you start? I haven't seen... 507 00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:48,649 I mean seriously, I mean they are strangers. 508 00:22:48,683 --> 00:22:51,285 When they buzz, I could be letting anyone in. 509 00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,055 When they buzz the door. 510 00:22:54,090 --> 00:22:56,725 And so you're going to entertain them all in your flat? 511 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,261 Well I said to me dad that I might just say that... 512 00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:02,564 I've got to go to a meeting, let them in, and then shoot off. 513 00:23:02,599 --> 00:23:05,067 And all it's going to do is dig up problems isn't it? 514 00:23:05,101 --> 00:23:08,136 If me cousin was Einstein very nice. Ricky: Yeah. 515 00:23:08,171 --> 00:23:09,771 But at the end of the day... 516 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:12,808 If your cousin was Einstein, then you really are an underachiever. 517 00:23:12,842 --> 00:23:13,942 No, but you know what? 518 00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:16,111 If he was, I'd know about it. 519 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:17,946 I don't reckon you would know about it. 520 00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:21,083 I reckon we would. Don't think your family would be impressed with Einstein. 521 00:23:21,117 --> 00:23:23,252 Stephen: They would've stayed in touch wouldn't they? 522 00:23:23,286 --> 00:23:25,320 Ricky: He was always the weird one with the scruffy hair and his tongue out. 523 00:23:25,355 --> 00:23:26,388 Stephen: Yeah. 524 00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:30,859 I remember our early ambition was to actually be educational... 525 00:23:30,894 --> 00:23:32,928 As well as hopefully entertaining, and I feel... 526 00:23:32,962 --> 00:23:35,163 Perhaps at times, we've perhaps slightly shortchanged, 527 00:23:35,198 --> 00:23:37,599 listeners in terms of what they're learning. 528 00:23:37,634 --> 00:23:40,736 Well, they're not learning anything because also, um... 529 00:23:40,770 --> 00:23:43,906 Even as, you know, compared to Karl, we are educated. 530 00:23:43,940 --> 00:23:47,342 But we're guessing a lot of the stuff. And he flummoxes us you know, sometimes. 531 00:23:47,377 --> 00:23:47,748 Yeah. 532 00:23:47,868 --> 00:23:52,814 I mean, it was fun trying to be pompous and professorial enough just to... 533 00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:54,916 Just to fight Karl's ignorance. 534 00:23:54,951 --> 00:23:58,521 I think we've learned more new words from Karl than we've learned anything else. 535 00:23:58,555 --> 00:24:00,022 Yeah. Yeah. 536 00:24:00,057 --> 00:24:02,291 There's been a lot of made-up words perhaps more than ever before. 537 00:24:02,325 --> 00:24:03,324 Mmm. 538 00:24:03,444 --> 00:24:07,697 And also some of the most abstract conversations I think we've ever had. 539 00:24:07,731 --> 00:24:11,934 I mean, Karl, as he gets older, becomes more and more arrogant and confident. 540 00:24:11,968 --> 00:24:13,902 Yeah. He said a new one to me the other day. 541 00:24:13,936 --> 00:24:19,273 Um, there was a problem downloading, and, uh, he said, um... 542 00:24:19,308 --> 00:24:21,275 They've added to the fuckerage. 543 00:24:24,045 --> 00:24:26,114 Which is good. Yeah. 544 00:24:26,148 --> 00:24:30,318 No, I reckon the stuff we know is enough now. 545 00:24:30,352 --> 00:24:33,621 And all we tend to do is find problems. Mmm. 546 00:24:33,656 --> 00:24:37,325 All the mysteries still in the world, the mind-body problem. What a prick. 547 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,127 What a prick. Mmm. Mmm. 548 00:24:39,162 --> 00:24:40,562 How to save the world. 549 00:24:40,596 --> 00:24:43,599 Yeah, but we're not are we? We know it's dying. 550 00:24:43,633 --> 00:24:45,300 We don't know how to fix it. 551 00:24:45,335 --> 00:24:47,102 Not yet we don't. Turn your lights off. 552 00:24:47,136 --> 00:24:48,970 Ricky: But then we didn't... You turn yours off. 553 00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:52,541 Getting sick of it. 554 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:55,244 Leaflets through the door all the time. "Turn your heating off." 555 00:24:55,278 --> 00:24:59,448 "Turn the lights off." Living like a mole. 556 00:25:00,984 --> 00:25:03,853 I love his little internal dialogues out loud. 557 00:25:03,887 --> 00:25:07,489 They're fantastic, the little discussions he has with himself. 558 00:25:07,524 --> 00:25:11,293 Oh, I can't wait till he's old. 559 00:25:11,327 --> 00:25:13,595 That's going to be amazing us three. 560 00:25:13,629 --> 00:25:15,930 When we're about 75. 561 00:25:15,965 --> 00:25:19,534 And he's fucking moaning... 562 00:25:19,569 --> 00:25:23,104 Oh, we're gonna be in a little home together. 563 00:25:23,138 --> 00:25:26,507 It's just... 564 00:25:26,542 --> 00:25:29,510 Fucking hell. Oh, Karl. 565 00:25:29,544 --> 00:25:31,979 Do you remember when you were 73? 566 00:25:32,013 --> 00:25:33,714 No, do I fuck? 567 00:25:33,748 --> 00:25:36,116 Stephen: Tell us the tic tac anecdote again. 568 00:25:39,387 --> 00:25:43,257 Ricky: Oh, what a fucking useless bunch of cunts. 569 00:25:47,372 --> 00:25:53,058 Sync and corrections by bellows and Sp8ky for www.Addic7ed.Com 570 00:25:53,108 --> 00:25:57,658 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49868

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