Original subtitles

Shaun, did you undress me?

Except your underpants.

How long have you been here?

All night.

You should be at work.

I'm taking the day off.

No, you should be at work.

You're sick all the time, not just after hours.

Shaun, you shouldn't give up your life.

You have my number. You check in with me.

I have 15 paid vacation days and 10 sick days per year,

but I can only take sick days when I'm sick,

not when you are, so this is a vacation.

The plan is to align your eyes

using what's called distraction osteogenesis.

We cut the bone and implant posts

on either side of your eye orbits.

Then we slowly expand that distance,

allowing for new bone to grow in the gaps.

Will it hurt?

Mm, for mere mortals it would,

but with your pain tolerance, it'll tickle.

You up for this?

So I'll have perfectly aligned eyes

but still look like a wad of chewing gum.

Molly...

You lost an awful lot of bone and soft tissue in the accident,

and in terms of facial reconstruction,

we've actually come a long way in the past two years.

And after 12 surgeries,

you get your own personalized coffee mug.

Oh, I forgot about that.

Okay, when can we get prepped?

Is now too soon?

Car accident. Karin Tindle, 14.

She was sleeping in the back.

Trucker in the oncoming lane fell asleep.

She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

Head trauma, not responsive,

GCS of 5 with decorticate posturing.

Sounds like a bleed in the brain.

And she has a 25-point difference in blood pressures

between her arms.

- Possible aortic dissection. - Head and heart.

Page Dr. Melendez. Have him meet us in the O.R.

Have you contacted Karin's father?

He passed away three years ago.

Let's go.

Why isn't she waking up?

We're gonna take good care of her.

Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com

CT confirmed an aortic dissection.

She needs a thoracotomy.

Aorta hasn't ruptured yet...

And she has a pseudoaneurysm.

We need to get after her head trauma first.

I don't see any major brain bleeds

and we can monitor pressures.

In this case, the heart trumps the head.

Okay.

I have two major symptoms...

nausea and boredom.

I didn't know boredom was a symptom of chemotherapy.

It's a symptom of sitting on my ass all day.

I used to run a 700-bed hospital

with a staff of thousands.

Now all I have to think about is how I keep my food down

and how many bowel movements I've had all week.

Four.

And I don't have to think about that.

You know what I need?

My meds.

Will you do me a favor

and run and pick these up?

When I come back, we can do "Mad Libs."

Unclamp.

Graft is holding.

That's one fire out. Drill.

Pupils are blown.

ICPs are spiking way up,

brain perfusion CPP is down.

She needs a hemicraniectomy.

Let's sit her up.

It's marijuana.

Yes, it is.

It's marijuana.

Medicinal marijuana. Hold on.

One... for the boredom.

One for the nausea.

Can I try one?

I met someone who said cannabidiol

improved his ASD symptoms.

A person?

You met a person once?

Shaun, have you heard of the scientific method?

I'd like to perform a practical,

albeit anecdotal, experiment.

Since you're on vacation...

and we can keep an eye out on each other...

One. One. Uh, whoa.

One. Take one.

Cruciate wide incision of the dura.

- Brain edema. - She's bradycardic.

Push another 50 grams of Mannitol

and ventilate down her CO2.

No corneal reflex. No overbreathing vent.

No brain stem reflexes.

She's brain-dead.

Fore!

You broke my house.

You got to club down. It's just 12 yards.

It's a little dog leg.

Here. Watch this.

It's in the cup.

Nice shot, Glassy.

You're gonna call me Glassy?

All right. I'm gonna call you Smurf.

Smurf. This... This is very interesting.

I find that very funny.

But it's not.

It's not. Am I high?

I think you're pretty high, yeah.

Am I acting more... normal?

- No, you're acting high. - Smurf. Smurf.

- Why is Smurf funny? - I don't know.

It's... It's, um...

You take the first letter of the first name

and you attach it to the first syllable of your last name, see?

S-S-S-Murph. Smurf.

We did it all the time in high school.

So your name was A-Glass?

Yeah, no, it didn't work for me.

Okay, serious now.

Where's the next hole?

Right there. Careful of the hazard right behind it.

- Okay, Sam Snead. - Dr. Glassman.

See what you got.

How's Lea?

Lee-Ya.

Lee-Ya!

There should be a "Y" in her name.

Lee-Ya.

She still into Jack?

No.

She is into Jake.

Who the hell is Jake?

Jake is the guy

Lea is into.

You okay with that?

I don't think you're okay with that.

I think that's why you're here.

I'm here to help you through chemo.

When a guy is stoned,

he can tell another guy anything that's in his heart.

You know, all the messy, scary, embarrassing stuff

that he would otherwise never, ever, ever tell anyone.

So what are you thinking?

A dog pooped on your lawn.

You were right to insist

that we deal with the aorta before the brain.

I appreciate you saying that.

Don't let guilt make you second-guess yourself.

Why would I have guilt?

You shouldn't. That's my point.

Good.

I'm hungry. Are you hungry?

I think I am.

When a man's hungry, you know what a man wants?

There's an open can of chickpeas in the fridge.

- Mallomars. - What are Mal...

What are... what... what is the Mallomar?

Pure chocolate, fluffy marshmallows

on a crispy bed of graham goodness.

Get us an Uber.

The next few days are going to be filled

with many difficult decisions.

Decisions no parent should ever have to make.

We've kept your daughter on life support

- because we... - You...

want to ask about organ donation.

Yes.

You want her what? Her heart?

Unfortunately, her heart was injured by the trauma,

as were several other organs.

We have a 16-year-old girl

who had a tragic accident a couple of years ago

that destroyed her face.

And we were hoping that you might...

You... want to take my daughter's face...

and put it on someone else?

This young girl's life has been devastated,

and you have a chance...

No.

I'm sorry, Dr. Andrews.

No.

- Okay, how about this one? - Mm-hmm.

"The ugly can be beautiful.

The pretty, never."

Seems a little judge-y.

Yeah, well, it was Oscar Wilde.

Hmm. Fair enough.

So I'm guessing you didn't see the Quakes last night.

The San Jose Earthquakes?

Your home team?

Yeah, I know who the Quakes are.

I recorded it.

No, you didn't.

Don't worry.

I watch enough soccer for the both of us.

They won 3 to 2, by the way.

Beautiful goal in extra time.

They didn't have any either.

Well, that's all the major chains.

We're 0 for 4.

Our next place is on Thornwood Drive,

just west of Santa Teresa Boulevard.

That's in Alamitos.

Yes.

There are still 28 stores

in the greater San Jose area that we can try

and I've devised a route starting in the south

working counterclockwise around the city

to best avoid traffic.

We'll buy you a box, I promise.

Okay, guys, I, uh, like a big fare

as much as the next driver

but racking up hundreds of dollars on a munchie quest

is starting to feel exploitative.

What do you say I order ahead for pizza

and then we just pick it up on the way home?

- I don't want pizza. - I don't want pizza.

What takeout food do you like?

- I like pancakes. - I don't want pancakes.

I don't want to go home.

We're paying you to drive us.

You want these cookies?

What is the real reason?

- You'll laugh. - What's the funny reason?

I had a crush on a girl.

Robin Demayne.

Senior year in high school.

Her favorite snack.

Okay.

Are we going to get Mallomars?

Nope.

You have been harboring feelings for this girl

for over 40 years.

That is a worthy quest.

Now, how do you spell "Demayne"?

D-E?

You're the same sex, race, approximate age,

share compatible blood types and antigens,

and a whole bunch of other things

that make you the perfect match.

And we just received permission from her next of kin.

Yeah.

Our donor's on life support but her heart is compromised,

so we are very much on the clock.

Cancel all elective surgeries, all personal plans,

and all hopes of sleep.

This is your home for the next two days.

Let's give Molly a new face.

There is another Robin Demayne living in San Mateo.

That's less than half an hour from here.

Ooh, I found one in Los Gatos, even closer.

You realize how stupid this is, right?

This is a quest. A quest is never stupid.

A quest is, by definition, almost always stupid.

Why would I want to see Robin Demayne

after all these years?

To tell her you love her?

I just want a cookie!

I wasn't in love with her.

I was a teenager.

I was infatuated.

And whenever you thought about her,

it made you happy.

And you thought about her all the time.

And every time you saw her, you felt a rush, light-headed...

Is that how you know you're in love?

That's how it starts.

And when you're not with that person,

you miss them so much you're willing to drive to 32 stores

to find a sensory reminder

that might bring back those memories.

♪ I'm all right today

♪ You gonna find a way to cross and you gonna get there ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave it all out there to dry ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave it all out there ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave it all out there to dry up ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave it all out there ♪

♪ But you worry me

♪ You worry me

♪ You worry me

♪ You worry me

♪ You worry me

♪ You worry me

Ride home's on me.

Flake.

Flake's a guy from my high school.

He knew everyone, he kept track of everyone,

and I guarantee you he never left Livermore.

We need to go to Livermore and ask Flake about Robin.

We're going to Livermore.

Every lab and imaging test that comes back

just reinforces the fact that this really is

a one-in-a-million match.

Nice.

Yeah, it is.

It's also very scary

and natural to be having second thoughts.

It's just...

I-I don't know how to accept a gift like this...

Someone else's face, someone else's identity...

The face is just a mask.

It's what's... Underneath that counts?

Really?

Those lame quotes we've been mocking,

you're gonna use them on me?

Yeah.

Molly.

Right now, your face is the only thing anyone sees.

This operation will change that.

It'll let the world see not your new face

but what has always been behind it.

Will it count towards the coffee mug?

Flake lives at your old high school?

He was the janitor back then.

He's the janitor now.

He'll probably be the janitor

when this planet crashes into the sun.

- Flake. - Findlay Lake was his name.

Hey, Flakey.

Hey yourself, Glaaron Assman.

Your name was Glaaron Assman.

His name was Glaaron Assman.

1973 state championship.

He threw for 460 yards.

And if you squint hard enough, you'll see who was named MVP.

You said you had something to show us?

Oh, yeah. Wait right here.

Shannon?

I keep thinking she's just sleeping.

How can I say goodbye?

We call it the Walk of Honor.

To thank your daughter for her sacrifice.

Do you remember a guy named Bobby Juarez?

Tall kid but too clumsy to play hoops?

He told me that Robin married a dentist named Scaplin

and moved out of state.

You couldn't tell me that when I called?

I wanted to see you.

I found her.

Robin Scaplin is in Portland, Oregon.

It's an 11 hour and 27 minute drive.

Fill up the tank, I guess.

We're going to Portland.

10 blade.

10 blade.

Proximal facial nerve isolated and dissected.

Okay, let's start the heavy lifting.

Clamping the left and right common carotid arteries

and jugular veins...

Cutting the carotids and jugulars...

Let's do it.

It's a long way to go to visit a married woman

you haven't seen since high school

who may not even be home.

She's home. I called at the last stop.

What did she say?

"Hello."

What did you say?

Nothing. He hung up.

When you sober up,

you are gonna want to turn around and go home.

Probably.

As rehearsed...

veins, arteries, nerves, in that order, from the chin up.

Yes?

Can I get the osteosynthetic plates and screws, please?

Damn it.

I tore part of the donor's artery.

I need more interrupted sutures.

Let's keep our focus, people.

Dr. Browne,

Molly's parents would like to see you

on your next break.

Take it now.

You, too.

Uh...

Dr. Park?

I had a huge crush on Robin Demayne.

A thoroughly unrequited crush...

that slowly turned into a grudge.

Last day of school,

kids were passing around their yearbooks,

and I signed in hers

something that was borne out of anger

and resentment and pettiness.

It was designed to be somewhat humorous, but...

was really just mostly hurtful.

Later that day, at the award ceremony,

I was skimming through my yearbook

and saw what she wrote me...

"I have only two regrets...

my haircut in junior year

and that you never asked me out."

And just then, I looked out in the crowd and saw her.

Her eyes were red,

obviously crying, obviously very hurt.

And at that exact moment, I was awarded my trophy.

I looked for her after but never saw her again.

Is that all the scary, messy, embarrassing stuff

that guys never, ever tell anyone?

Pretty much.

Dean and Lori?

This is Shannon.

Thank you for meeting with us.

And for...

everything.

If you don't mind, we have so many questions for you,

about your daughter.

We'd like to know what she was like,

what she liked to do.

Molly wants to know, too.

Uh...

Her name was Karin.

And I killed her.

I'm supposed to tell you to get back in.

Don't let him get to you.

It's not him, it's you.

Your advice that I shouldn't be second-guessing myself

is making me think you must be second-guessing yourself.

About what?

You're the one who insisted we deal with the heart before the brain.

And you didn't fight me. Why not?

- Because you were right. - I was right.

But you have never thought anyone

other than yourself was right in an O.R.

since you first stepped foot in one.

You backed off 'cause we're sleeping together.

The car accident was my fault.

It was my idea to leave so early.

It was my idea to let her sleep in the back.

It was up to me to make sure she was wearing her seatbelt.

None of which would've mattered

if the truck driver hadn't fallen asleep.

It's natural to feel guilt,

but you have to understand this wasn't your fault.

It doesn't work that way, Dr. Browne.

It was my handgun that hurt Molly.

And you can say that it was a freak accident

or that Molly knew she wasn't supposed to touch it

or some other B.S., but...

it was my fault.

I had one job...

...and that was to protect my family.

I didn't do my job.

And you could try to make sense of it,

try to find something, some pleasure somewhere,

some meaning.

But there just isn't.

And then your daughter...

...does this for us...

Hi, Robin.

Aaron?

He had a huge crush on you.

Yeah. Uh...

That's not why I'm here, though.

I'm here to apologize.

For what I wrote in your yearbook.

Yearbook?

Yeah. Uh...

I wrote something, um...

...hurtful and untrue and really stupid.

And then I read what you wrote in mine.

What did I write?

She had a bad haircut in junior year.

Oh. I certainly remember that.

Yeah, well, it was a long time ago.

Anyway, I just... I wanted to say I'm sorry.

Well...

Apology accepted.

Thank you.

Mallomars.

Robin's favorite snack.

Right side donor to recipient vessels are anastomosed.

Ditto on the left.

Let's see how our plumbing works.

Unclamp them, please.

She's pinking up.

Moving on. Motor and sensory neurorrhaphies...

How's our girl doing?

She's just waking up now.

Hi, Molly.

How are you feeling?

Terrible.

Then we're right on target.

You want to have a look?

No.

No rush.

It is going to look...

surreal.

Like you're looking at a stranger.

But it won't always.

Because nobody laughs or holds their head

or looks someone in the eye exactly the way you do.

Okay.

I apologize

for telling you how to react to losing a patient.

Thank you.

When I accused you of second-guessing yourself,

that's because I'm doing it, too.

Our relationship has me questioning everything I do

and everything you do.

You're making this way more complicated than it has to be.

It is complicated.

The fact that we're seeing each other

changes the context of all of our interactions.

I guess that's why there are rules against it.

I think I can keep being a jerk to you at work

if that's what you want.

You think we should end it?

No.

See you tomorrow.

So, once you're feeling a little less woozy,

we'll set you up with a whole bunch of therapists...

speech, occupational, physical.

Shannon.

Please come in.

I'm Karin's mom.

Hi.

I brought something for you.

She was beautiful.

Thank you.

And thank you for timing that elevator ride so perfectly.

Can I ask you for a favor?

I'd like to say goodbye.

Eh, we'll clean up tomorrow.

And buy a new vase.

Yeah, buying a new vase is easy.

Vacuuming up my grandmother's ashes,

not so easy.

Are you glad you apologized?

Yeah.

Do you still feel guilty?

Yeah.

Guilt must be a bad thing if it makes people feel badly

about something they can never fix.

Or maybe it's a deterrent

so we do the right thing the next time.

You loved Robin

but could never be with her.

Do you wish you'd never met her?

Not for one second.

I'm not okay that Lea is into Jake.

Good night, Smurf.

Night, Glassy.