Original subtitles

Have you used this medication before?

- Yes, I have. - Remove the patch from the pouch,

peel off the plastic backing and press onto the skin.

Yes.

Apply below the waist to the buttocks or thighs.

- Do not apply to a hairy area. - Right.

- Or to the breasts. - Yes, I know. Thank you.

And, how long have you been on hormone replacement therapy?

Ten years-ish, um...

Eleven.

- You are over 50? - Yes. May I have it?

Are you aware of the negative side effects associated

- with prolonged use of HRT? - I am.

Nausea, headaches, migraines, dizziness,

general disorientation, memory loss, palpitations,

hot flashes, increased blood pressure, stroke, heart disease,

and increased risk of cancer of the breast, uterus,

- ovaries and fallopian tubes... - But on the plus side,

it makes you look younger.

Visa?

Well, why don't you just get a haircut?

Excuse me?

Yeah, you can't get ovarian cancer from a haircut.

If you wanna look younger, why not just get a haircut?

Why don't you just shut the fuck up and give me my hormones, hm?

S01E01 The Other Davina

sync and corrected by ninh addic7ed.com

- Hi. - Hi, they're releasing an Anne Murray box set,

and the paper wants me to write about it, so it's been Anne all day.

I'm saturated with Murray. Do you like her?

I like Anne Murray.

I don't particularly like Anne Murray

but I'm trying to give her a chance.

I've listened to Snowbird maybe 15 times

so it's safe to say I'm going mad basically.

At first, it was like being suffocated by a high-quality down pillow but...

now the song's growing on me, it's growing on me.

The snowbird sings of flowers that will bloom again in the spring, right?

So he represents the promise of renewal and rebirth.

But for the protagonist... let's just call her Anne Murray

for the sake of discussion... for the protagonist,

the coming spring is just a continuation of her cycle of suffering.

She longs to escape her despair,

but she doesn't have the strength.

It's shattering, really. She's trapped

in this never-ending innovating misery.

Can you imagine?

Yeah.

So, do you think gene maclellan read James Joyce?

- Who's that? - He wrote Snowbird.

I think he did. I think they both did.

I think it's blatantly obvious they did.

Any progress on the furniture deal?

This urban camping's fun and all but a couch would do it.

I'd be so happy with a couch.

I'm looking for a very particular couch

and there's certain criteria that need to be met.

Oh no, that makes me nervous.

May I request that one of the criteria be comfort?

How about this? Anne Murray's masterworks:

Snowbird and the application of Joycean death imagery.

- God, you've really come around. - I'm a fan, yes. Yes.

Well, it's a little academic for the lifestyle section.

Maybe so, maybe so.

The footnotes are probably a mistake.

Do you like my hair?

I love your hair.

Oh God, the drug dealer's back.

- Don't look. - Well, why do you assume he's a drug dealer?

It's not because he's black.

- You're profiling. - No, it's because of the way he's standing.

- The way he's standing? - Don't look.

With his hands deep in his pocket like he's counting his wares.

- His wares. Jesus. - Yes, he's fingering his pills.

Amphetamines? Check. Acid? Check.

- Oh, running low on ecstasy. - You're an idiot.

He wouldn't have the drugs on him. He has a stash somewhere.

- Well how would you know that? - Because of the biker.

The biker?

Sheryl and I used to buy hash from this fat biker

behind Sam's and he would make us wait while he waddled

down the alley to his stash, and that's what this guy would do

if he was actually a drug dealer.

Instead of a professional loiterer?

Why don't you ask him? Go on.

Go ask the black man if he's a drug dealer.

Come on, let me in. Let me in.

Ah, see that?

Eight cylinders come in handy.

- When you're a racist. - What?

(Soft piano music)

What do you think? There'll be 9 more on this wall.

What?

Veiled mirrors.

David Gordon's exploration of his Jewish heritage.

He's making reference to how they cover the mirrors

when they're sitting shivah.

I think it's frustrating that I can't see my face.

- Oh, I guess that's the point. - I have to say it's a huge relief

not to see my reflection when I look in the mirror.

That's a ridiculous thing to say. You're a handsome man.

You're over 50, so what? You're ugly now?

You can be ugly at any age, Sam.

- It was a joke. - Well, it was a stupid joke.

I hated it. Never make it again.

Have you done something to your hair?

♺ What I love forever is untrue ♺

(knocking on door)

♺ and if I could, you know... ♺

Anne Murray? Really?

- Orlando, I'm thrilled. - Why?

Because you finally came. Come on in, I'll give you the tour.

- Dad, I don't want a tour. - Well, come on in

and have a beer. I mean, this is your home too.

Is it?

Well, no. Not technically, no.

No, not in any way. The place I call home,

you know, the one I grew up in? Yeah, you sold to buy this

notably one bedroom cyber-loft. Nice.

Well come in, you'll like it. It's young and brooding.

I'm not coming in. I didn't come here to come in!

Ok, Orlando, why did you come? I mean, like I said,

you're welcome here anytime.

That tone makes you sound like you're speaking to a psychotic person.

Why are you here?

To drop William off. You're taking him for the weekend.

- Oh. Ok. - She didn't tell you, did she?

- Well no. I guess she forgot. - Of course she did.

Of course 'cause he's a dog, not a grandson.

- Ah, are we going there again? - No, we can go somewhere else.

About how your midlife crisis is eroding my inheritance?

We'd be happy to take William for the weekend.

Thank you. Don't forget to feed him.

We won't forget to feed him! Jesus!

- Just saying he's on the "prey" diet now. - The what?

Prey diet. Only whole animals. He likes Guinea fowl

or rabbit, if you can find it.

Ok. Well, let's go hunt down some Guinea fowl.

You know, first the hair, then the husband.

It was just the hair and it was...

Just a blow-out.

First, you change your hair.

Then, you hire a personal trainer.

Then, you screw the personal trainer.

Then, you lose 20 pounds because of the shame associated

with being naked in front of a personal trainer

on a regular basis.

Then, the lies start spilling from your lips.

First, to justify the weight loss, then the chronic lateness,

the missed meals, frequent showers.

Then, the stupid arguments begin over tiny, stupid things.

Like, um, "why do you never wash the car?"

Or, "how can I eat with you breathing like that?"

Then the stony silences kick in

followed by... Trial separation,

the chilling letter from the lawyer,

and before you know it, you're sitting on a barstool

trying to remember how to date.

Oh, poor Sam.

Was that the way it was with you and cherry?

Bangs. She got bangs. Could it be more obvious?

Well I'm not gonna get bangs. I'm not gonna leave Al.

I've been married to him for 30 years.

We have a son. We have a vintage jag.

Why would I want to leave all that?

Well I'd give you the jag but remember, I have met your son.

- Monica broke up with me. - Oh, God!

- Sorry if I'm annoying you. - No, I'm being supportive.

I feel sorry for you. - Dad, I don't want your pity.

Oh, God! You see? Now that was annoyance.

- What happened? - She left me

- because I have no sperm. - Oh, come on, lots of men

with low sperm counts have relationships.

No sperm. Remember, dad? They didn't find any.

Not a single one. We've been over this.

Ok, fine, but I'm sure there are a hundred other reasons.

You know what I mean. Maybe it was just attrition or something.

$27 for rodent.

Hey, did you do anything weird to my immature testicles?

What kind of a question is that? I never did anything

to your testicles, immature or otherwise.

I mean I cleaned them.

I thought your doctor said it was compromised vas deferens?

- Yeah, and how did that happen I wonder? - What?

You suggesting I compromised them? I don't know where they are!

I don't know, maybe if you didn't let me spend so much time

- in Uncle Rogers' hot tub... - Look. I know it's convenient for you

to blame your parents for everything that's gone wrong in your life,

but while you're alone processing your bachelorhood

and your empty vessels, think about this:

Not everything has a cause. Sometimes, we are visited by tragedy.

It's random, it has no meaning.

Ok, so I guess that means you're finally admitting

that we live in a godless universe.

No, I'm not. I'm just trying to make you feel better. Ok?

It's not working.

- Well, I'll see you Monday. - Yeah.

And maybe you can actually come in and have a beer or something.

Bye. Willy, never have kids.

Oh, shit!

(Woman): Veiled mirrors. The exhibit opens Friday.

- (Woman): Yeah. - (Woman): It's about the fact

that we can't see our true selves when we look in the mirror.

Ok...

Because of a cognitive dissonance as in like,

- a body dysmorphic disorder. - Oh, right, right.

Yeah. So young people see themselves as fat and ugly,

and old people see themselves as attractive.

When in fact, they are old, wrinkly, unattractive.

Well exactly. Yeah, I mean, it's a defence mechanism.

(Woman) For old people to really see themselves

is just to see death,

just like staring back at them.

It's too much for them to handle.

- Get out! - Sorry?

We're closed.

- May I keep this? - No.

Hi. It's, uh, Davina Jackson.

I was in yesterday looking at the, uh...

Amoeba.

The white one.

Hello. This is where I live.

You're free to stand there though, that's fine.

That's life downtown.

- You live here? - I do. With my wife.

And my son who's, uh...

He's, uh... He's a policeman actually.

Well, he advises the police on violence and

how to trace violent assaults to those who commit them.

I don't usually stand here, but the wind was getting to me.

Please, use our alcove anytime.

You the guy who listen to Anne Murray all day?

Ah, I am. Yes. Yes. I am.

Um, I like other music. I'm not insane, I just...

I have to listen to her because of my work. It's my job.

That's a weird job you have.

It is. Some people have weird jobs. What's yours?

- I'm a dealer. - Bingo. Yeah. I'm Al.

- Theodore. - Theodore? Well that's, uh,

completely unexpected.

And you were expecting... What? Kunta Kinte?

No. Uh, no, I wasn't. I, uh, I don't know, I just...

- Just fucking with you. - Right.

You want anything? Coke?

Oh no, no, no. Uh, no. Uh, thank you though, Theodore.

Uh, you know what? Um, do you do pot?

- 60 for a quarter. - 60? Ok, um,

- one quarter please. - I'll be back.

Thank you. Ah, hidden stash.

Very smart, prudent.

(Davina): You spoke to the drug dealer?

- His name is Theodore. - Theodore?

His parents were big fans of Roosevelt.

But he hates being called Teddy so don't fall into that trap.

He's diabetic. He likes Anne Murray.

He has friends in city hall.

And when he sells enough crack,

he's going to get his real-estate license.

- There's more money in drugs. - There is, actually.

- 60 bucks a quarter, outrageous. - A quarter what?

A quarter ounce, dear,

of marijuana. You remember your little green friend

all through the wonder years. Ta da! Present.

- For me? - Well, as you know

- I do not partake. - Well, I'm impressed.

I know it's hard for you to be the...

To talk to drug dealers, to do things, to be relatively brave.

- Well, you, you know what I mean. - Y...Yeah.

How's Orlando? Is he upset that I forgot about William?

Well, he was already upset. Monica left him.

- Damn it! What happened? - I know.

He claims it was his twisted vas deferens did them in.

Toto. I feel responsible.

We did not twist his vas deferens.

- Still, we made him. - No, we didn't make him.

We gave him his start. He made himself, didn't he?

We're all the product of our choices.

You make choices, I make choices.

Some are good, some are... Well, I just have no idea

- what you were thinking. - The couch arrived!

- Yes, dear. Yes, it did. - (Davina): You hate it.

I feel judged by this couch.

Well, it fits in. You have to admit that.

It does fit in... it's incredibly uncomfortable.

- Oh, come on. - It's like 2 comfortable couches

were struck by lightning and melted together

to form one hard, godless chimera.

- Well, I love it. - I'm afraid it will start

breeding at night and the place will be filled

with insanely expensive meta-furniture.

Um, I'm gonna do some work in bed.

- You coming? - No, I'm going...

- to sit on the couch for a while. - Well, good luck with that.

Come, Willy! (Barking, scampering)

Oh remember, there's the opening tomorrow.

Roger and Veronica are coming here first.

Oh, Christ!

Ah!

(Jazz music playing)

- Ugh, I'm dreading this. - You don't have to go.

Not the opening. Roger's critique

of our new, chic life in the urban jungle.

Can I get away with this?

I'm trying to look like, you know,

- I know something about art. - He will have a field day.

Yes, he will! I know, that's what I'm saying.

(Doorbell ringing) Agh!

- Hey. - Hallway's like a maze.

- We've been lost for hours. - There are 6 units on this floor, Roger.

- Hello. - Welcome to our brave new world.

Oh, very nice. Very bright.

Come in. There's almost nothing to show you.

You know, Al, you bought at exactly the wrong time.

The condo market is bloated. You can't expect to get

your money back. Especially with the neighbourhood as it is.

We spotted a drug dealer on the way in.

I wish you'd talk to me before making major financial decisions.

It's my job to talk people out of doing stupid things like this.

Hi, Ron.

- Hey. Oh, bit slutty. - What?

I like the jacket, by the way.

It says, "I'm hip, I have style, I know something about art."

Thus saving you the humiliation of actually saying those words out loud.

- Thank you. - What is this?

- Seriously, what is it? - Davina?

- It's a couch. - Honestly?

- Can I sit on it? - I wouldn't, no.

- You don't have any drapes? - No.

Aren't you afraid someone can see you getting undressed?

I'd be thrilled.

Don't joke. Women are being assaulted all the time.

Older women. Sex offenders aren't discerning.

They don't care what they penetrate.

Veronica, you've gotta come and sit on this.

Actually, you know, I think it's beautiful. Beautiful in the way

it completely thumbs its nose at comfort.

(Knocking on door)

- (Al): Excuse me. - Why, it's quite a contrast.

Absolutely nothing like Lawrence Park.

You just said fuck you to everything that went before.

It's like you're saying fuck you to me. Fuck you, Veronica.

It's not that big a change, Ronnie, really.

Everyone, this is my friend, Theodore. Local merchant.

I invited him along.

Anyone wanna do a line before we head out?

Anyone?

- Oh! Oh, my God! - Oh no, no, no! Get him!

Stop! William! William! William! No, no, drop it. Drop it.

- Spit up, spit up, spit up. - Oh, he's gonna...

(Growling and barking)

(Indistinct conversations)

(Veronica): Her hair, her cleavage.

Jesus, look at her. How can I not take this personally?

- (Al): Really, it's just... - It's an implicit criticism

- of the way things were. - So she got bored.

Of my life. The life I have with the big house

and the koi pond. It used to be her life

and she got bored of it. He's not breathing.

Oh! There he goes. Look, Ronnie, I know

the change is dramatic, but she hasn't changed as a person,

- she's still the same Davina. - Is she? I don't recognize her anymore.

Go check out those 3 at the end.

Apparently, they veil the mirrors

in Jewish homes when they sit shivah.

I'm not sure why.

Well, the Jews believe that man was created in God's image.

And when there's a death, God's image is the greatest.

It's considered improper for someone to look

at their own reflection at a time when the image

of the creator himself is diminished.

I did not know that, Theodore.

I did not know that.

- What is happening here? - Is this real? Can't be real.

No one else is looking.

That's not comforting really, that no one else sees this.

Why are you talking in that ridiculous voice?

That's my voice, our voice.

- I-I-I didn't realize. - Do you think I'm going crazy?

Well, if you're going crazy, I'm going crazy.

- Shit! - Shit!

It's this weird fucking art.

Ok, ok, let's just breathe. Let's just figure this out.

Ok. Ok, I don't feel crazy. I've been depressed lately. I...

Oh, so have I and I don't know why.

So...

Maybe this is my brain trying to tell me something.

Ok, ok, just to be clear,

you appeared to me. I was over there and...

Let's not quibble about who is really here.

It has to be deeper than that.

I know, clearly, there is a serious problem.

But what is it?

I could go anytime.

I had one of those mini burgers and it is not sitting well.

So really, anytime.

Oh, this is the worst!

They only used my first paragraph.

They've cut out my Dubliners comparison completely.

It's like an ad! Agh, why do I bother?

What are you doing?

- I'm going in here. - In there?

But what about me? And him?

So what are you gonna have done exactly?

Well, I was thinking of having it cut really short.

You are?

Are you happy?

- Uh... what? - You know, with everything?

With all the changes?

Oh sure, I love living in a maximum security prison,

- who wouldn't? - And what about me?

- What do you mean? - Well, you know. Do you...

Do you like my hair?

- Well sure, yeah. Of course. - Really?

Well yeah. Well, you know, I liked it before

when it was longer and soft.

Why?

Well I guess,

because that's the way you wore it when we got married.

Well, I'm... I'm still the same person that you married.

Yeah, it's just. It...

Look, whatever you want to do, you should do it.

I'll love whatever you do. You know me, you lead

- and I'll follow. - Ah, maybe I'll just have it...

Blow-dried and just made a bit softer.

Yeah. Sure, sure. Get it blow-dried.

Jesus Christ! How much?

Should we get a bite to eat?

- Yeah. - It's good.

(Dog whimpering)

(Anne Murray): ♺ Spread your tiny wings and fly away ♺

♺ and take the snow back with you ♺

♺ where it came from on that day ♺

♺ What I love forever is untrue ♺

♺ and if I could, you know ♺

♺ that I would fly away with you ♺

♺ The breeze along the river seems to say ♺

♺ that he'll only break my heart again

♺ should I decide to stay

♺ So, little snowbird, take me with you when you go ♺

♺ to that land of gentle breezes where the... ♺

- (Al): Give it a chance! - (Dog barking)

♺ Spread your tiny wings and fly away ♺

♺ and take the snow back with you ♺

♺ where it came from on that day ♺

♺ What I love forever is untrue ♺

♺ and if I could, you know that I would fly away with you ♺

♺ Yeah, if I could

♺ you know that I would fly away with you ♺

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