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MUNSCH: There was a
time when a college dean
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00:00:06,985 --> 00:00:08,652
had real power.
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00:00:08,687 --> 00:00:10,320
4
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(bleats)
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The university was a kingdom unto itself,
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like a church in the Middle Ages.
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Crazed killer.
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Serial killer.
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CATHY: If a student got murdered,
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the dean had the juice
to keep the press quiet
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and the cops from making a scene.
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Dean Munsch, tell us about the murder.
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What can you tell us about the murder?
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We can confirm that an incident occurred
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that may have injured one of our students.
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- We need some information.
- (reporters clamoring)
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But I can tell you that the campus is open
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and classes are resuming
and frogurt is back,
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after popular demand, in the dining hall.
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But in the age of Twitter,
students were Instagramming
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pictures of the crime scene and posting
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narcissistic Facebook
posts about where they were
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when it happened before
the police even arrived.
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I've got news for you,
self-involved junior,
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just because you know
a guy who was in class
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with a dead girl's roommate
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does not mean that it could have been you.
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REPORTER: Dean Munsch...
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MUNSCH: There's an exodus right now.
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Kids don't feel safe,
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parents don't want to take a chance,
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and the press is calling
me Dean of Murder U.
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MUNSCH: Well...
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Not on my watch.
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Girls, this is Detective Chisolm.
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He's here investigating the beheading
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that happened in your garden last night.
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Where is Ms. Bean and Chanel #2?
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It is pretty suspicious they're not here.
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Well, as far as I'm concerned,
all of you are suspects.
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It was only a matter of time
before things got out of hand
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at the sorority and someone got killed.
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We don't want any of you leaving campus
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until we get to talk to all of you,
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get a better sense of what happened.
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Y... You can't keep us prisoner here.
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No, he can't.
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But none of you are excused to leave.
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So, if you do, you will be graded
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on every missed test and class assignment.
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And this investigation could take weeks,
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which means it's most likely
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that you will fail out of college.
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Wh... Gigi, you can't let her do this.
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If someone is targeting you,
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they're gonna find you wherever you are.
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You know? And at least if you're here,
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you can keep an eye out on each other.
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We can make it fun, huh?
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Like a Friends episode.
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But someone's, you know...
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trying to murder all the friends.
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MUNSCH: Good.
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Then it's decided.
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Detective, there's a sushi bar
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that I love...
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You guys, Gigi is right.
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We have to move into the
house. It's the only way
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we can look after one another.
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That's insane, okay?
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Pledges cannot move into the house.
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The risks are real, but
we need to close ranks.
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If any of you die while
protecting a sister,
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you're allowed to skip
the rest of Hell Week.
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And I'm gonna hire security.
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I don't feel comfortable
with a man protecting me.
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It's representative of the patriarchal,
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post-colonial culture
that encourages violence
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against women.
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GIGI: Always...
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saying what everyone is thinking.
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Ladies...
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I got this, okay?
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I got it.
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We've got to get rid of the body
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before the new security guard finds it.
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Ideas. Go.
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We buy a pig and feed it the body.
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Pigs will eat anything.
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Oh, yeah, Number Five,
let's just mosey on down
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to the hog district and bring home a 400
- pound sow.
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That's not conspicuous at all.
93
00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:22,012
My uncle owns a dairy farm in Wisconsin,
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and they have these poop lagoons.
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They're, like, ten feet deep,
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and in winter, they freeze over.
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And my uncle told me and my sister, like,
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"Don't go skating on those poop lagoons,
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"because if you fall in,
you'll drown in the poop
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and come springtime, there'll
be nothing left of your body."
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Do you and your sister have some form
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of intellectual disability?
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Because if I encountered
a lake of frozen poo,
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literally the last question I would ask is:
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can we ice-skate on this?
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HESTER: I know what you should do.
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This isn't what it looks like.
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She's asleep. Chanel #2 is asleep.
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Don't worry, we're sisters.
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(whispers): I won't tell anyone.
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When I was six years old, my father died,
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and my mother made me kiss
the body at his funeral.
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Ever since then,
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I've been obsessed with death.
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Here's what you should do.
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Pulverize her teeth,
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burn off her fingerprints
and disfigure her face.
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Once her body is unrecognizable,
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we can create an incision
on her inner thigh
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and drain out all of her bodily fluids.
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That'll give us more time
to deconstruct the body.
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Ew! What?!
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Because truly grinding down
a body takes a lot of work.
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You need a really good
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00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:25,275
food processor,
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and you run the risk
of fouling the plumbing,
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which is why you should
only do it if you know
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00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:31,181
how to clear out meat and
bones from a drain pipe.
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00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:34,017
Each of these plans has its
drawbacks, but don't worry.
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00:04:34,052 --> 00:04:36,219
I'm willing to help in any way possible.
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You're obviously a psychopath
and those ideas are insane!
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So, no, we won't be putting her in
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a food processor or boning
her like an enormous chicken.
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We're gonna put her in the meat locker
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for now and revisit the question
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when I'm not totally grossed out by you
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- and feeling like I'm going to barf.
- Okay.
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Grab the duvet and wrap her up.
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00:04:54,172 --> 00:04:55,939
(all grunt)
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00:04:55,974 --> 00:04:57,440
HESTER: We should touch her.
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If we touch her, she
won't haunt our dreams.
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Wait, why would she haunt our dreams?
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00:05:01,747 --> 00:05:03,146
And if her eyes are open,
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she'll take one of us with her.
145
00:05:04,516 --> 00:05:07,550
Take with her? What the
hell are you talking about?!
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00:05:07,586 --> 00:05:08,885
Why are you trying to terrify us?
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Can I call you Mom?
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What? Please?
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I feel so loved and
protected by all of you.
150
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:15,925
Wait, you want to call all
of us Mom? That's insane.
151
00:05:15,961 --> 00:05:17,127
And super confusing.
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00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:18,628
Actually, it's a new pop culture trend
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where young women desperately
in need of role models
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call other girls they look up to Mom.
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Lorde's fans call her Mom.
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I thought you'd be cool with it.
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I mean, I did just give you
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several ways to dispose of a body.
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Fine, okay, you can call all of us Mom.
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Let's just lock the body in here and forget
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- any of this ever happened.
- Wait, Mom.
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00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,579
We shouldn't lock her in here. If we do,
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00:05:36,615 --> 00:05:39,115
her soul will be able to escape,
and then it'll follow us around.
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00:05:39,151 --> 00:05:41,618
Okay, fine. Just stop talking.
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You are so friggin' creepy!
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Ladies, this is Officer Hempville.
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Officer, we are so happy...
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00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,598
Excuse me.
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Where did you find her?
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Well, I knew we needed
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a top-notch security company,
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00:05:59,971 --> 00:06:02,238
so I let my fingers do the walkin'.
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00:06:03,241 --> 00:06:04,841
I checked the Yellow Pages.
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What's that?
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00:06:06,578 --> 00:06:08,011
Officer, we're terrified.
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00:06:08,046 --> 00:06:10,847
Okay? Someone just mowed
off a deaf girl's head
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in our backyard.
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00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:14,284
Well, ladies, you have
nothing to be afraid of
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00:06:14,319 --> 00:06:15,685
so long as I'm around.
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00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,188
Though-though technically,
I'm not a police officer.
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00:06:18,223 --> 00:06:21,458
I mean, as you can see, I'm
not licensed to carry a sidearm.
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I am employed by Secure
Enforcement Solutions,
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00:06:24,496 --> 00:06:25,829
which is private contractor
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00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:28,665
hired to work in tandem
with campus security.
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00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,100
Wait, so you don't have a gun?
186
00:06:30,135 --> 00:06:31,167
No, I do not.
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00:06:31,203 --> 00:06:32,735
But I do have...
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00:06:32,771 --> 00:06:34,504
a nightstick, okay?
189
00:06:34,539 --> 00:06:35,939
I have pepper spray.
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00:06:35,974 --> 00:06:38,174
And I have a walkie talkie that I can use
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to call the police, who do have guns.
192
00:06:40,779 --> 00:06:42,112
What good are you?
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00:06:42,147 --> 00:06:44,280
We can call the police ourselves.
194
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,715
Well, with Denise Hempville on the scene,
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00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:46,950
you're not gonna have to.
196
00:06:46,985 --> 00:06:50,520
Now, I-if there is a
killer on this campus,
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00:06:50,555 --> 00:06:52,689
Denise Hempville's gonna make damn sure
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00:06:52,724 --> 00:06:55,792
that everybody in Kappa
House is safe and sound
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00:06:55,827 --> 00:06:58,294
until that killer is brought to justice.
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00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,529
How?
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00:06:59,564 --> 00:07:01,397
I'm glad you asked.
202
00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:04,868
With the Secure Enforcement
Solution three step program.
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00:07:04,903 --> 00:07:06,369
Right? Step one.
204
00:07:06,404 --> 00:07:08,037
If you are in danger,
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00:07:08,073 --> 00:07:10,874
scream Denise Hempville's name real loud.
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00:07:10,909 --> 00:07:12,375
I will be on the premises
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00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:14,978
at all times, and I will come a-runnin'.
208
00:07:15,013 --> 00:07:16,112
Now, let's just say
209
00:07:16,148 --> 00:07:17,280
you screamed Denise Hempville's name
210
00:07:17,315 --> 00:07:18,715
and I do not come a-runnin'.
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00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,283
That means I'm not on the premises.
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00:07:20,318 --> 00:07:23,953
Okay? In that case, proceed to step two.
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00:07:23,989 --> 00:07:28,391
Call 1-866-KLJ-0199.
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00:07:28,426 --> 00:07:30,894
Okay? I will be notified immediately
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00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:32,562
and come a-runnin'.
216
00:07:32,597 --> 00:07:34,097
- Wait, sorry, what...
- Yeah. Hold on.
217
00:07:34,132 --> 00:07:37,333
Now, if... if you can't get
through to the 866 number
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00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,569
because of long wait times and such,
219
00:07:39,604 --> 00:07:42,572
then what you're gonna want
to do is proceed to step three.
220
00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:45,575
Get the hell out of
there. Run away, real fast.
221
00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:46,910
Are you serious?
222
00:07:46,945 --> 00:07:49,312
Yeah, run away, get out
of there, scram! Okay?
223
00:07:49,347 --> 00:07:51,014
And when you get to a place
224
00:07:51,049 --> 00:07:52,916
that is deemed by you to be safe,
225
00:07:52,951 --> 00:07:57,320
call 1-866-KLJ-0199.
226
00:07:57,355 --> 00:07:58,354
All right?
227
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,757
Now, I would give you my number,
228
00:08:00,792 --> 00:08:02,759
but my cell phone is off right now.
229
00:08:02,794 --> 00:08:05,195
But if you call the 866 number...
230
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:06,763
boom, on the walkie.
231
00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:08,164
They can always get me.
232
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,966
We need to go over the steps again?
233
00:08:17,342 --> 00:08:18,641
(clears throat)
234
00:08:18,677 --> 00:08:20,643
Zayday, must I remind you
235
00:08:20,679 --> 00:08:21,978
that this is Hell Week,
236
00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:23,546
which is the time to prove you're worthy
237
00:08:23,582 --> 00:08:24,781
of being in this house.
238
00:08:24,816 --> 00:08:26,549
There's not enough soap in your bucket.
239
00:08:26,585 --> 00:08:27,884
Can't get the floor clean without suds.
240
00:08:27,919 --> 00:08:29,452
If you want the place
clean, maybe you shouldn't
241
00:08:29,487 --> 00:08:30,486
have burned the maid's face off.
242
00:08:30,522 --> 00:08:32,121
You have no proof of that.
243
00:08:32,157 --> 00:08:34,891
I will go get more soap.
244
00:08:34,926 --> 00:08:36,993
You should probably bring a flashlight.
245
00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:28,778
(grunting)
246
00:09:29,648 --> 00:09:30,880
(gasps)
247
00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:56,839
(sighs)
248
00:09:58,576 --> 00:10:01,311
- What the hell, plebe?!
- Oh, God.
249
00:10:01,346 --> 00:10:04,480
Only the president has the key,
and only she can get inside.
250
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:06,382
Don't you wonder what's in there?
251
00:10:06,418 --> 00:10:08,418
Get upstairs.
252
00:10:16,494 --> 00:10:18,461
I mean, a secret hidden door
253
00:10:18,496 --> 00:10:20,163
that only one person has the key to?
254
00:10:20,198 --> 00:10:21,464
PETE: People have been whispering
255
00:10:21,499 --> 00:10:23,766
about that house for
years, that it's haunted,
256
00:10:23,802 --> 00:10:26,102
that something really bad
happened. I mean, there's no way
257
00:10:26,137 --> 00:10:28,571
there isn't some real-life
story behind it, right?
258
00:10:28,606 --> 00:10:30,273
And if something did happen there,
259
00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:33,743
there'd be records in the
dean's office, right? Old files.
260
00:10:33,778 --> 00:10:36,312
- I'm gonna have to break in.
- I'm gonna have to break in.
261
00:10:40,618 --> 00:10:42,585
Whoa.
262
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:45,254
- (chuckles) What? What-what was that?
- Uh... uh...
263
00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:46,756
I don't know. Um...
264
00:10:46,791 --> 00:10:48,591
But... but we probably...
265
00:10:48,626 --> 00:10:50,259
we can't do that again
266
00:10:50,295 --> 00:10:53,096
until we've figured out what's
happening, because, um...
267
00:10:53,131 --> 00:10:54,931
be-because people are dying.
268
00:10:54,966 --> 00:10:56,499
I see your point. Mm-hmm.
269
00:10:56,534 --> 00:10:59,335
Uh-huh. I mean, I don't think
anyone's gonna get killed
270
00:10:59,371 --> 00:11:01,104
in the 30 minutes we make out, right?
271
00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:02,472
Can you stop talking?
272
00:11:02,507 --> 00:11:04,440
You're kind of ruining
whatever was good about it.
273
00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:06,676
Right. Thanks.
274
00:11:06,711 --> 00:11:09,445
Uh... okay, look, you
go back to Kappa House.
275
00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:11,447
I sneak into the dean's office, okay?
276
00:11:11,483 --> 00:11:13,816
And then we will meet here
with whatever info we gather
277
00:11:13,852 --> 00:11:17,320
from illegally breaking into
private and school property.
278
00:11:17,355 --> 00:11:19,489
Yes. It's a plan.
279
00:11:21,426 --> 00:11:24,293
Oh, and, Grace? Just...
280
00:11:24,329 --> 00:11:25,661
be careful, okay?
281
00:11:25,697 --> 00:11:28,131
'Cause, uh, I'd really
like to kiss you again.
282
00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:30,166
(chuckles)
283
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,809
Mr. Gardner. Can I call you Weston?
284
00:11:42,629 --> 00:11:44,229
Call me Wes. Is this Scotch?
285
00:11:44,264 --> 00:11:45,496
It's 10:00 a.m.
286
00:11:45,532 --> 00:11:47,565
Uh...
287
00:11:47,601 --> 00:11:49,000
(sighs)
288
00:11:49,035 --> 00:11:51,236
Please try to understand
the situation I'm in.
289
00:11:51,271 --> 00:11:53,004
This is a national university.
290
00:11:53,039 --> 00:11:56,341
We have thousands of staff,
tens of thousands of students.
291
00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:58,509
And a shutdown of a single week
292
00:11:58,545 --> 00:12:00,345
would tank the entire local economy,
293
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:02,080
and I'd be out of a job.
294
00:12:02,115 --> 00:12:04,515
I don't give a rat's ass about your job.
295
00:12:04,551 --> 00:12:06,885
Have you even talked to
your daughter about this?
296
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,286
You know I met with Grace.
297
00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:10,855
She is a... a wonderful young lady.
298
00:12:10,891 --> 00:12:12,523
And it appears to me
299
00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,225
that she would rather
stay with her sisters.
300
00:12:14,261 --> 00:12:17,862
Well, um... honestly, I
don't care what Grace wants.
301
00:12:17,898 --> 00:12:19,864
It's my job to keep her safe.
302
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:22,901
And the best way to do
that is to keep her here,
303
00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:26,838
at school, where she is under
round-the- clock protection.
304
00:12:28,074 --> 00:12:30,875
Look.
305
00:12:30,911 --> 00:12:33,378
Let's just say... worst case scenario...
306
00:12:33,413 --> 00:12:34,879
there is a crazed
307
00:12:34,915 --> 00:12:38,449
serial killer on the
lose, a-a... a cannibal
308
00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:41,319
who skins his victims and cooks
them and sells them as food.
309
00:12:41,354 --> 00:12:42,820
Wh... What?
310
00:12:42,856 --> 00:12:44,322
And let's just say
311
00:12:44,357 --> 00:12:46,925
that that cannibal is
targeting only Kappa House.
312
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,893
Would you say, in that case,
313
00:12:48,929 --> 00:12:52,063
that your daughter is
safer here, on campus,
314
00:12:52,098 --> 00:12:54,899
walking to classes with
a big group of friends,
315
00:12:54,935 --> 00:12:56,567
and then coming home to a house
316
00:12:56,603 --> 00:12:59,938
under constant protection
from armed guards,
317
00:12:59,973 --> 00:13:02,240
or is she safer living off-campus,
318
00:13:02,275 --> 00:13:04,309
isolated, alone,
319
00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:09,013
with no one but you to watch out for her?
320
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:11,115
(sighs)
321
00:13:11,151 --> 00:13:13,451
Mr. Gardner, I know you're scared,
322
00:13:13,486 --> 00:13:17,355
and I want to assure you that
you have nothing to worry about.
323
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:20,425
Uh, there is no serial killer on the loose.
324
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:25,430
And if there were, your
daughter would not be a target.
325
00:13:25,465 --> 00:13:26,965
I can guarantee that.
326
00:13:28,802 --> 00:13:30,435
I understand you're a widower.
327
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:31,970
That's right. (sighs)
328
00:13:32,005 --> 00:13:33,972
I'm so sorry.
329
00:13:34,007 --> 00:13:35,707
And I want you.
330
00:13:35,742 --> 00:13:36,941
What?
331
00:13:36,977 --> 00:13:39,010
To understand that I'm here
332
00:13:39,045 --> 00:13:41,646
for both your daughter and you.
333
00:13:43,316 --> 00:13:46,951
And I'd be happy to help you with...
334
00:13:46,987 --> 00:13:49,020
anything you might need.
335
00:13:51,858 --> 00:13:54,625
I don't know if you know
this, but I'm a professor.
336
00:13:54,661 --> 00:13:58,129
I want you to give me a job on
campus so I can be near Grace.
337
00:13:58,164 --> 00:13:59,998
I will do
338
00:14:00,033 --> 00:14:02,567
anything to make sure she's safe.
339
00:14:02,602 --> 00:14:08,406
You know, I find good
parenting incredibly attractive.
340
00:14:11,511 --> 00:14:13,511
(door creaks)
341
00:14:16,049 --> 00:14:17,548
(metallic clink)
342
00:14:44,911 --> 00:14:46,577
(gasps) Oh.
343
00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:19,977
"Kappa Kappa Tau...
344
00:15:20,013 --> 00:15:22,113
Party Mix"?
345
00:15:22,148 --> 00:15:24,015
"Waterfalls"? What?
346
00:15:31,858 --> 00:15:33,391
- (door opens)
- Oh.
347
00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:34,826
Oh. (gasps)
348
00:15:34,861 --> 00:15:37,395
Oh, my God. You scared me.
349
00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:39,564
You're a snoopy little bugger.
350
00:15:39,599 --> 00:15:42,500
And I don't like snoopy little buggers.
351
00:15:42,535 --> 00:15:44,502
What is all this stuff?
352
00:15:44,537 --> 00:15:48,506
This is where Kappa
keeps its darkest secrets.
353
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:52,176
And now that you've seen
them, I have to kill you.
354
00:15:53,179 --> 00:15:55,246
Would you please? I'm kidding.
355
00:15:55,281 --> 00:15:57,582
Whose bloody clothes are those?
356
00:15:57,617 --> 00:16:00,118
(sighs)
357
00:16:00,153 --> 00:16:03,321
Allegedly, like, 20 or so years ago,
358
00:16:03,356 --> 00:16:04,856
a girl died in this tub.
359
00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:07,925
It wasn't down here then.
360
00:16:07,961 --> 00:16:10,428
It was up in one of the bathrooms.
361
00:16:10,463 --> 00:16:12,430
She had a baby during a party,
362
00:16:12,465 --> 00:16:14,365
and the sisters let her bleed out
363
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,134
because they were having so much fun.
364
00:16:16,169 --> 00:16:17,802
That is awful.
365
00:16:17,837 --> 00:16:19,203
I don't know.
366
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,938
Supposedly, it was a super fun party.
367
00:16:20,974 --> 00:16:22,607
Anyway,
368
00:16:22,642 --> 00:16:25,209
her dying isn't even the best part.
369
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:28,146
The best part is how they
supposedly covered it up.
370
00:16:34,654 --> 00:16:36,554
WOMAN: What's wrong with
her? She looks awful.
371
00:16:36,589 --> 00:16:37,955
She's dead.
372
00:16:37,991 --> 00:16:40,958
Okay? What the hell are we gonna do?
373
00:16:40,994 --> 00:16:42,126
Maybe we can drop the baby off
374
00:16:42,162 --> 00:16:43,494
in front of the emergency
room, and then run away,
375
00:16:43,530 --> 00:16:44,896
and then we can just act like
376
00:16:44,931 --> 00:16:46,697
what's-her-name died
of natural causes.
377
00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:49,600
You idiot, they can do tests
for childbirth and stuff.
378
00:16:51,671 --> 00:16:53,304
We're all gonna pay for this.
379
00:16:53,339 --> 00:16:55,239
Well, somebody certainly is.
380
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,475
How the hell did you find out about this?
381
00:16:57,510 --> 00:16:59,477
(sighs)
382
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:03,181
Nothing happens in this house
without me knowing about it.
383
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:16,027
Dean Munsch covered all this up?
384
00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:18,162
I think it's all crap.
385
00:17:18,198 --> 00:17:20,198
Just a myth.
386
00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:23,067
You don't believe that.
387
00:17:23,102 --> 00:17:24,769
You think it's real.
388
00:17:26,739 --> 00:17:28,873
How do you know that
this isn't somehow related
389
00:17:28,908 --> 00:17:30,341
to what's happening now?
390
00:17:30,376 --> 00:17:32,176
Let's face it.
391
00:17:32,212 --> 00:17:34,679
You don't have to go back
20 years to find someone
392
00:17:34,714 --> 00:17:37,248
the sisters here pissed off
enough to go homicidal on us.
393
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,852
Wait. Um, you don't just
394
00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:44,155
expect me to let this go, do you?
395
00:17:46,226 --> 00:17:47,625
Actually, I do.
396
00:17:52,599 --> 00:17:55,700
(door opens)
397
00:17:55,735 --> 00:17:59,070
What happened to the baby?
398
00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:06,567
CHAD: Mm-hmm. You like that?
399
00:18:06,603 --> 00:18:08,403
CHANEL: Yeah, it feels so good.
400
00:18:08,438 --> 00:18:10,238
CHAD: That's it. Sometimes I picture myself
401
00:18:10,273 --> 00:18:12,306
like Derek Jeter, you know?
402
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,575
Yeah, Jetes. I'm gonna switch it up. Mmm.
403
00:18:14,611 --> 00:18:16,577
- I'm gonna choke you out.
- Chad!
404
00:18:16,613 --> 00:18:18,479
There's a serial killer on the loose.
405
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,615
Please don't say you want to choke me.
406
00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:22,450
Okay.
407
00:18:22,485 --> 00:18:24,085
Geez. Sorry.
408
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,286
Uptight.
409
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:26,688
(both moaning)
410
00:18:26,723 --> 00:18:28,089
CHAD: You like that?
411
00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:30,291
- I'd love having sex with your corpse.
- What?!
412
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,260
What did you just say?
413
00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:33,928
You just talked about a serial killer.
414
00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:36,097
- You made me picture it.
- Okay, you know what?
415
00:18:36,132 --> 00:18:38,099
I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.
416
00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:40,034
You know what I could really use right now?
417
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:41,436
A boyfriend!
418
00:18:41,471 --> 00:18:42,804
Well, I sort of am your boyfriend,
419
00:18:42,839 --> 00:18:45,273
and I'm protecting you
by having sex with you.
420
00:18:45,308 --> 00:18:47,775
No! I don't need a man to protect me.
421
00:18:47,811 --> 00:18:50,278
How could I have wasted this much time?
422
00:18:50,313 --> 00:18:52,513
Is my self-esteem really that low?
423
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:55,950
I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.
424
00:18:55,985 --> 00:18:57,052
- What does that mean?
- It means
425
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,119
exactly what you think it means.
426
00:18:58,154 --> 00:18:59,520
I need you to leave right now!
427
00:19:06,162 --> 00:19:08,996
I'm sorry. Are you breaking
up with me, Chad Radwell?
428
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:12,967
You're breaking up with Chad Radwell?
429
00:19:13,002 --> 00:19:14,669
(sighs)
430
00:19:14,704 --> 00:19:17,739
You're gonna be sorry.
431
00:19:17,774 --> 00:19:20,007
Nobody breaks up with Chad Radwell.
432
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,016
(groans)
433
00:19:32,555 --> 00:19:34,555
(sighs)
434
00:19:36,693 --> 00:19:38,826
What's going on?
435
00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:41,429
You are not gonna believe this.
436
00:19:41,464 --> 00:19:43,531
Chanel broke up with me.
437
00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:45,666
(scoffs) What a bitch.
438
00:19:45,702 --> 00:19:47,835
She doesn't realize how
good she had it. So stupid.
439
00:19:47,871 --> 00:19:49,237
(sniffles)
440
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,172
Look, don't worry, bro. Don't worry.
441
00:19:51,207 --> 00:19:53,741
She's gonna come crawling
back to you in no time.
442
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,043
Good night, Boone.
443
00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:58,546
(groans)
444
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:02,216
Hey, Chad?
445
00:20:02,252 --> 00:20:04,252
Yeah?
446
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,020
(sighs)
447
00:20:06,055 --> 00:20:08,389
I'm really scared.
448
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:11,292
You know, with the serial
killer on the loose.
449
00:20:11,327 --> 00:20:12,693
Just having trouble sleeping.
450
00:20:12,729 --> 00:20:15,129
You know what would really
help me feel... feel better?
451
00:20:15,165 --> 00:20:19,100
If... if... I could just,
like, crawl in bed with you?
452
00:20:21,171 --> 00:20:23,404
Hey, Boone. (sighs)
453
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:26,274
Do you remember that time there
was that big thunderstorm, and
454
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,876
you were really scared, and you
asked to crawl into bed with me,
455
00:20:28,912 --> 00:20:31,212
and I was a little weirded
out, but you're my little bro,
456
00:20:31,247 --> 00:20:34,315
so I said okay, and then...
You tried to touch my wiener?
457
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:36,484
Yeah.
458
00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:38,619
One of the least fun things
in life is when your gay bro...
459
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,388
he's gay, and he knows you're not gay,
460
00:20:40,423 --> 00:20:42,557
and he tries to touch your wiener anyway.
461
00:20:42,592 --> 00:20:43,891
Yeah, Chad, I know.
462
00:20:43,927 --> 00:20:45,293
All right, I said I was sorry.
463
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,627
A one-time thing.
464
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,062
I'm just...
465
00:20:48,097 --> 00:20:49,630
Just really scared.
466
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,166
You know, it would
really help me feel better
467
00:20:52,202 --> 00:20:55,937
if I could just crawl into
bed with you for a few minutes.
468
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,242
Are you gonna touch my
wiener, or you gonna leave
469
00:21:01,277 --> 00:21:03,344
- my wiener alone?
- I'll leave your wiener alone.
470
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,649
BFFs. Get over here.
471
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,994
Where are your hands?
472
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,196
On the frog.
473
00:21:22,232 --> 00:21:23,497
(toy frog croaks)
474
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,466
Yeah. Good night, Boone.
475
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,034
Night, Chad.
476
00:21:29,072 --> 00:21:30,605
Get away. Come on.
477
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:34,208
Chad?
478
00:21:34,244 --> 00:21:36,277
Chaddy?
479
00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:38,613
You must be so upset. I...
480
00:21:38,648 --> 00:21:41,382
Chaddy, I'm here.
481
00:21:41,417 --> 00:21:42,950
I think we should talk.
482
00:21:42,986 --> 00:21:46,354
Perhaps I was a bit too rash or...
483
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,192
Oh! Oh.
484
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,393
This is not what it looks like.
485
00:21:52,428 --> 00:21:54,295
He has a huge boner!
486
00:21:54,330 --> 00:21:56,397
(sighs) Boone.
487
00:21:56,432 --> 00:21:59,800
Chanel. Okay.
488
00:21:59,836 --> 00:22:01,469
I can't believe this.
489
00:22:01,504 --> 00:22:03,838
- You're gay?
- Uh, no.
490
00:22:03,873 --> 00:22:05,640
Boone was scared, so I let him crawl
491
00:22:05,675 --> 00:22:07,642
into bad with me, 'cause he's my bro.
492
00:22:07,677 --> 00:22:09,877
He's your gay bro who
has a big boner for you.
493
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,913
Why don't you go in there
and ogle his big old broner?
494
00:22:11,948 --> 00:22:13,414
Okay, uh, first of all,
495
00:22:13,449 --> 00:22:15,650
I'm not gonna go ogle his big old broner,
496
00:22:15,685 --> 00:22:17,084
because I'm not gay,
497
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,053
Chanel, and you better not
tell anybody Boone's gay...
498
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:21,756
even though he is... because golf
frats aren't big on gay dudes,
499
00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:23,190
and because we like hitting golf balls
500
00:22:23,226 --> 00:22:24,525
with the gay-straight alliance kids,
501
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,826
and I would like to keep doing that.
502
00:22:25,862 --> 00:22:28,696
And second, look, I'm sorry
503
00:22:28,731 --> 00:22:29,931
everybody wants to have sex with me.
504
00:22:29,966 --> 00:22:31,499
Okay? I can't help that.
505
00:22:31,534 --> 00:22:32,500
News flash, Chanel:
506
00:22:32,535 --> 00:22:33,534
I'm hot.
507
00:22:33,569 --> 00:22:34,835
Everybody wants to get with this.
508
00:22:34,871 --> 00:22:37,605
Women, men, animals in the zoo,
509
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:38,940
plants, probably.
510
00:22:38,975 --> 00:22:40,274
And if you can't handle that,
511
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:41,342
then you're just gonna have to go.
512
00:22:41,377 --> 00:22:42,610
You're gonna have to go right now,
513
00:22:42,645 --> 00:22:43,844
'cause I am breaking up with you.
514
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,413
Excuse me.
515
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,081
I broke up with you!
516
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,617
Oh, really? What are
you doing here, Chanel?
517
00:22:49,652 --> 00:22:50,885
(sighs)
518
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,286
I regretted what I said,
519
00:22:52,322 --> 00:22:55,356
and I just wanted to come
here and tell you that I am
520
00:22:55,391 --> 00:22:56,457
so sorry.
521
00:22:56,492 --> 00:22:58,459
Well, I accept your apology.
522
00:22:58,494 --> 00:23:00,227
And now I'm breaking up with you.
523
00:23:00,263 --> 00:23:02,229
What?! Do you know why
I'm breaking up with you?
524
00:23:02,265 --> 00:23:04,765
Because you are a spoiled,
homophobic little girl
525
00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:06,634
who can't handle the fact
that everybody on campus
526
00:23:06,669 --> 00:23:07,802
just wants to get with me.
527
00:23:07,837 --> 00:23:09,403
You can't deal with how hot I am.
528
00:23:09,439 --> 00:23:10,805
So you need to get out,
529
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,707
because we are over.
I'm breaking up with you.
530
00:23:12,742 --> 00:23:13,708
No.
531
00:23:13,743 --> 00:23:15,543
Sorry, I just broke up with you.
532
00:23:15,578 --> 00:23:17,445
Bye.
533
00:24:06,329 --> 00:24:08,195
Come on, come on, come on.
534
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,466
(groans)
535
00:24:17,140 --> 00:24:19,707
"Kappa House Party."
536
00:24:24,247 --> 00:24:26,547
"Greenwell."
537
00:24:29,318 --> 00:24:30,985
Greenwell.
538
00:24:42,398 --> 00:24:44,398
(church bell tolling in distance)
539
00:24:49,272 --> 00:24:51,539
(grunting)
540
00:24:51,574 --> 00:24:52,907
Hey, man, can you... (clears throat)
541
00:24:52,942 --> 00:24:54,809
Hey, c-could you please help me?
542
00:24:54,844 --> 00:24:56,410
(camera clicks)
543
00:24:56,446 --> 00:24:58,312
Really?
544
00:24:58,347 --> 00:25:00,347
Come on, man.
545
00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:04,919
What does "MYOB" mean?
546
00:25:04,954 --> 00:25:06,821
PETE: "Mind your own business."
547
00:25:06,856 --> 00:25:08,022
It means we're onto something.
548
00:25:08,057 --> 00:25:09,490
I know we are. It turns out,
549
00:25:09,525 --> 00:25:11,826
a girl died in the Kappa
House 20 years ago.
550
00:25:11,861 --> 00:25:13,194
She gave birth in a bathtub,
551
00:25:13,229 --> 00:25:14,762
and the sisters just
let her bleed to death.
552
00:25:14,797 --> 00:25:15,896
I mean, the best part is
553
00:25:15,932 --> 00:25:17,031
Dean Munsch covered the whole thing up.
554
00:25:17,066 --> 00:25:18,532
Huh.
555
00:25:18,568 --> 00:25:21,068
Maybe these names I
found are related somehow.
556
00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:22,903
Yeah. Um, they mean...
557
00:25:22,939 --> 00:25:24,705
Uh, yeah, I mean,
this-this must be it, right?
558
00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:27,108
It's the 20th anniversary
of-of what happened.
559
00:25:27,143 --> 00:25:29,276
They're only targeting Kappa sisters.
560
00:25:31,314 --> 00:25:32,413
Can you please put some clothes on?
561
00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:34,849
(stammers) I'm... I'm sorry, what?
562
00:25:34,884 --> 00:25:35,950
Um...
563
00:25:35,985 --> 00:25:38,185
Oh. (chuckles)
564
00:25:38,221 --> 00:25:39,854
I'm... I'm so sorry.
565
00:25:39,889 --> 00:25:40,888
Um...
566
00:25:40,923 --> 00:25:42,356
yeah, I think I'm still kind of...
567
00:25:42,391 --> 00:25:43,557
out of it from the... ah...
568
00:25:43,593 --> 00:25:44,758
from-from my wound,
569
00:25:44,794 --> 00:25:46,427
you know?
570
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:48,762
Um, they said, uh, I
shouldn't be alone, you know,
571
00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:50,598
in case I fall asleep and die.
572
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:54,435
Can I just get you a robe
or something though? Okay.
573
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:55,769
(gasps)
574
00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:57,138
What?
575
00:25:58,174 --> 00:26:00,541
What the hell is this?!
576
00:26:00,576 --> 00:26:05,379
So... I'm the school mascot
during football games.
577
00:26:05,414 --> 00:26:06,981
What?
578
00:26:07,016 --> 00:26:09,283
What? What's wr...
579
00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,619
That's the disguise the killer wears.
580
00:26:11,654 --> 00:26:14,054
I saw it. He was stalking
me the other night.
581
00:26:14,090 --> 00:26:15,256
So you're saying I'm the killer?
582
00:26:15,291 --> 00:26:17,458
I mean, you-you hate Kappa,
583
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,560
Chanel said you were a crazy stalker,
584
00:26:19,595 --> 00:26:20,794
and you have the outfit.
585
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:22,630
I thought you were the
one person in this school
586
00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:24,398
who knew I was a good guy, Grace.
587
00:26:24,433 --> 00:26:26,267
That's what that house does to people.
588
00:26:26,302 --> 00:26:27,768
Okay, this isn't about me thinking
589
00:26:27,803 --> 00:26:28,836
you're boyfriend material.
590
00:26:28,871 --> 00:26:30,304
But I am boyfriend material.
591
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:32,740
How old are you?
592
00:26:32,775 --> 00:26:34,508
19. I'll be 20 next month.
593
00:26:34,544 --> 00:26:36,844
Oh, my God. That's exactly
594
00:26:36,879 --> 00:26:38,846
how old the baby would be if it grew up.
595
00:26:38,881 --> 00:26:40,514
No, stay away from me!
596
00:26:40,550 --> 00:26:43,150
God, I was so gonna go to third
base with you tonight, too.
597
00:26:43,186 --> 00:26:44,585
Damn it! Oh, yeah?
598
00:26:44,620 --> 00:26:47,621
- Well, how old are you?
- 18! God!
599
00:26:47,657 --> 00:26:49,657
(sighs)
600
00:27:04,822 --> 00:27:07,022
What if we stapled their earlobes?
601
00:27:07,057 --> 00:27:08,257
No. Too easy.
602
00:27:08,292 --> 00:27:09,692
I only want to haze these pledges
603
00:27:09,708 --> 00:27:12,275
if we're gonna haze them
in a fresh, exciting way.
604
00:27:13,327 --> 00:27:14,659
BOONE: Chanel,
605
00:27:14,695 --> 00:27:15,827
can I talk to you?
606
00:27:15,862 --> 00:27:17,229
In private.
607
00:27:17,264 --> 00:27:19,497
Private like the parts on a man
you like putting in your mouth?
608
00:27:19,533 --> 00:27:20,031
(snorts)
609
00:27:20,067 --> 00:27:22,033
Okay, fine.
610
00:27:22,069 --> 00:27:23,468
Here goes.
611
00:27:23,503 --> 00:27:25,503
I know you're gonna destroy
my reputation on campus
612
00:27:25,539 --> 00:27:26,871
by telling people I'm a secret gay.
613
00:27:26,907 --> 00:27:28,573
Mm. And I'm gonna get kicked out
614
00:27:28,609 --> 00:27:30,575
of the Dollar Scholars
House with nowhere to live
615
00:27:30,611 --> 00:27:32,377
because the world of
golf doesn't really dig
616
00:27:32,412 --> 00:27:33,712
on gay dudes as a rule.
617
00:27:33,747 --> 00:27:35,347
You've been talking for a while.
618
00:27:35,382 --> 00:27:38,450
I want to publicly come
out as gay on my own.
619
00:27:39,253 --> 00:27:41,353
- And then join Kappa.
- (scoffs)
620
00:27:41,388 --> 00:27:43,355
I mean, you guys have to
accept everybody, right? No.
621
00:27:43,390 --> 00:27:45,190
No, we don't have to accept gay dudes.
622
00:27:45,225 --> 00:27:46,091
I actually think
623
00:27:46,126 --> 00:27:47,025
that's illegal.
624
00:27:47,060 --> 00:27:48,927
No.
625
00:27:48,962 --> 00:27:50,762
We're doing it.
626
00:27:50,797 --> 00:27:53,231
What?! Chanel... Chanel, that's crazy.
627
00:27:53,267 --> 00:27:54,666
I am a future network news anchor.
628
00:27:54,701 --> 00:27:56,001
That involves
629
00:27:56,036 --> 00:27:57,502
a little thing called the media,
630
00:27:57,537 --> 00:27:59,170
which is, like, chock-full of gays.
631
00:27:59,206 --> 00:28:02,707
If I presided over the first
sorority ever to accept a gay,
632
00:28:02,743 --> 00:28:04,943
imagine how far that
would get me with my future
633
00:28:04,978 --> 00:28:06,945
gay makeup person, my gay wardrobe person,
634
00:28:06,980 --> 00:28:08,413
not to mention my creepy,
635
00:28:08,448 --> 00:28:10,382
gross, gay viewers
636
00:28:10,417 --> 00:28:12,517
- and weird, gay higher-ups.
- No, no.
637
00:28:12,552 --> 00:28:14,352
No way. This isn't happening.
638
00:28:14,388 --> 00:28:17,289
Chanel, you are not thinking clearly, okay?
639
00:28:17,324 --> 00:28:20,392
Accepting a gay will hurt the
house, and he's gonna steal
640
00:28:20,427 --> 00:28:22,394
all of our expensive makeup and toiletries.
641
00:28:22,429 --> 00:28:25,930
Boone, Chanel is my best friend,
642
00:28:25,966 --> 00:28:28,800
and if you choose to bring
shame on her and Kappa House,
643
00:28:28,835 --> 00:28:31,736
I will come after you,
do you understand that?
644
00:28:31,772 --> 00:28:33,938
I will destroy you.
645
00:28:34,975 --> 00:28:36,941
I trust you'll consider my offer.
646
00:28:36,977 --> 00:28:38,443
(scoffs)
647
00:28:42,015 --> 00:28:43,281
(scoffs)
648
00:28:44,618 --> 00:28:46,618
(panting)
649
00:28:50,023 --> 00:28:52,023
650
00:28:56,963 --> 00:28:59,397
Denise is my name
651
00:28:59,433 --> 00:29:01,399
Security is my game
652
00:29:01,435 --> 00:29:03,968
I got to watch these white girls
653
00:29:04,004 --> 00:29:06,404
So I can get paid...
654
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:07,339
(yelps)
655
00:29:07,374 --> 00:29:09,741
Shondell! Hey!
656
00:29:09,776 --> 00:29:10,809
(laughing)
657
00:29:10,844 --> 00:29:12,744
Shondell, you scared the mess out of me!
658
00:29:12,779 --> 00:29:14,579
Girl,
659
00:29:14,614 --> 00:29:16,448
you know you're not
supposed to be sneaking up
660
00:29:16,483 --> 00:29:19,651
- on nobody like that.
- Ha!
661
00:29:19,686 --> 00:29:21,252
But if you gonna sneak,
662
00:29:21,288 --> 00:29:23,755
- I'm glad you got that Burger Shack.
- Okay!
663
00:29:23,790 --> 00:29:26,958
You want a Shack Burger
or Double Shack Burger?
664
00:29:26,993 --> 00:29:28,427
You know I want the double.
665
00:29:28,428 --> 00:29:29,861
- I want the double.
- Okay. You got it.
666
00:29:29,896 --> 00:29:32,097
- I thought you had to work.
- Ain't nothing going on
667
00:29:32,132 --> 00:29:33,198
at no Best Buy parking lot.
668
00:29:33,233 --> 00:29:34,866
Name one bad thing that ever happened
669
00:29:34,901 --> 00:29:36,434
at a Best Buy parking lot.
670
00:29:36,470 --> 00:29:38,136
(both laugh)
671
00:29:38,171 --> 00:29:41,306
- Girl, you got that right.
- Yeah, hear?
672
00:29:41,341 --> 00:29:43,842
You got that right. There
some ketchup in there?
673
00:29:45,846 --> 00:29:47,312
What is it?
674
00:29:47,347 --> 00:29:49,647
There's someone in that car out there.
675
00:29:49,683 --> 00:29:51,149
That's the new security guard.
676
00:29:51,184 --> 00:29:52,951
What? No. Different car.
677
00:29:52,986 --> 00:29:55,286
JENNIFER: Is that the killer?
678
00:29:55,322 --> 00:29:56,788
GRACE: No, that's not the killer.
679
00:29:56,823 --> 00:29:58,990
That's my dad. He's been
keeping an eye on me.
680
00:29:59,025 --> 00:30:00,492
I'll go talk to him.
681
00:30:00,527 --> 00:30:02,527
Wait. Let me.
682
00:30:02,562 --> 00:30:04,529
I'll try to...
683
00:30:04,564 --> 00:30:07,232
give him some peace of mind for you.
684
00:30:10,237 --> 00:30:11,970
(sighs)
685
00:30:12,005 --> 00:30:14,172
(singing to music):
Tell
me have you ever really
686
00:30:14,207 --> 00:30:17,509
Really ever, ever loved a woman?
687
00:30:17,544 --> 00:30:19,644
Whoa!
688
00:30:19,679 --> 00:30:21,679
(sighs)
689
00:30:23,250 --> 00:30:24,682
Can I help you?
690
00:30:24,718 --> 00:30:27,018
Sorry. I'm...
691
00:30:27,053 --> 00:30:29,020
You're just, like, super attractive.
692
00:30:29,055 --> 00:30:30,088
Um, I'm Gigi.
693
00:30:30,123 --> 00:30:34,025
I'm national president of Kappa Kappa Tau.
694
00:30:34,060 --> 00:30:37,028
I was just hanging with
your daughter in there.
695
00:30:37,063 --> 00:30:39,030
- I was like, "What's he doing?"
- Oh. (chuckles)
696
00:30:39,065 --> 00:30:40,865
Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.
697
00:30:40,901 --> 00:30:42,534
I... I didn't want to embarrass her.
698
00:30:42,569 --> 00:30:44,903
Oh, she's not. She's very touched.
699
00:30:44,938 --> 00:30:47,205
Yeah, well, if it was up to
me, I'd pull her out of school.
700
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,873
I mean, who cares about
losing a year, right?
701
00:30:48,909 --> 00:30:50,175
It's better than losing your life.
702
00:30:50,210 --> 00:30:53,745
My advice, just as a girl...
703
00:30:53,780 --> 00:30:55,547
Mm-hmm.
704
00:30:55,582 --> 00:30:57,215
Maybe give her some space.
705
00:30:57,250 --> 00:30:58,716
You know, my shrink says these kids
706
00:30:58,752 --> 00:31:01,453
are the most messed up of
any generation he's seen
707
00:31:01,488 --> 00:31:04,889
'cause their parents have
made life so easy for them.
708
00:31:04,925 --> 00:31:06,858
It's like they can't handle adversity.
709
00:31:06,893 --> 00:31:08,526
Adversity?
710
00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:11,029
I wouldn't call a crazed
serial killer adversity.
711
00:31:11,064 --> 00:31:12,096
They have security.
712
00:31:12,132 --> 00:31:13,698
Come on.
713
00:31:13,733 --> 00:31:15,700
Really... good...
714
00:31:15,735 --> 00:31:18,102
good security.
715
00:31:18,138 --> 00:31:20,205
I don't know. I just... I
just feel like she's, uh...
716
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,606
she's pulling away from me.
717
00:31:21,641 --> 00:31:24,976
Actually, like-like she's pushing me away.
718
00:31:26,980 --> 00:31:30,615
You know, it's just part of growing up.
719
00:31:30,650 --> 00:31:32,283
It happens.
720
00:31:32,319 --> 00:31:34,719
And I...
721
00:31:34,754 --> 00:31:38,256
-
Will love you
-
Will love you
722
00:31:38,291 --> 00:31:41,593
-
Baby
-
Always.
723
00:31:41,628 --> 00:31:43,294
What? (laughs)
724
00:31:43,330 --> 00:31:45,396
Are these all male power ballads
725
00:31:45,432 --> 00:31:48,166
from, like, 1995?
726
00:31:48,201 --> 00:31:51,102
What? Yeah.
727
00:31:51,137 --> 00:31:55,106
No, that's exactly what
this playlist is called.
728
00:31:55,141 --> 00:31:57,775
No. No, I have a thing for playlists.
729
00:31:57,811 --> 00:31:59,444
- I have a thing for playlists.
- Stop it!
730
00:31:59,479 --> 00:32:00,912
I'm, like, Mr. Playlist.
731
00:32:00,947 --> 00:32:03,147
- You are so cool.
- (chuckles)
732
00:32:03,183 --> 00:32:05,116
Wow.
733
00:32:05,151 --> 00:32:08,620
Hey, do you want to,
like, get a coffee or...?
734
00:32:08,655 --> 00:32:11,890
Uh, I would love to.
735
00:32:12,959 --> 00:32:14,826
Cool.
736
00:32:16,997 --> 00:32:18,963
(engine starts)
737
00:32:31,678 --> 00:32:34,679
Whoa. What do we have here?
738
00:32:34,714 --> 00:32:36,614
Look, Chanels.
739
00:32:36,650 --> 00:32:38,416
Someone's got a poo belly.
740
00:32:41,988 --> 00:32:43,154
- (timer dings)
- Oh!
741
00:32:43,189 --> 00:32:45,156
Time for another mayonnaise shot, ladies.
742
00:32:45,191 --> 00:32:47,992
Hello, hood rat.
743
00:32:48,028 --> 00:32:50,328
Sweet Yeezus, I don't even
know where to begin with you.
744
00:32:50,363 --> 00:32:52,363
Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard,
745
00:32:52,399 --> 00:32:53,498
your tampon's gonna pop out.
746
00:32:53,533 --> 00:32:55,800
Oh. Hold on.
747
00:32:55,835 --> 00:32:57,001
Number Five,
748
00:32:57,037 --> 00:32:58,036
the pledges are yours.
749
00:32:58,071 --> 00:32:59,537
I'm gonna go to my room for a sec
750
00:32:59,573 --> 00:33:01,306
to fetch some white eyeliner so I can write
751
00:33:01,341 --> 00:33:02,707
legibly here on Zayday.
752
00:33:02,742 --> 00:33:03,675
(chuckles)
753
00:33:08,582 --> 00:33:09,681
Cheers, ladies.
754
00:33:10,917 --> 00:33:12,116
(glasses clink)
755
00:33:17,023 --> 00:33:18,990
(snoring softly)
756
00:33:19,025 --> 00:33:21,359
(woman screams)
757
00:33:21,394 --> 00:33:22,894
Shondell, did you hear that?
758
00:33:22,929 --> 00:33:24,896
I heard screaming.
759
00:33:24,931 --> 00:33:27,165
Shondell, I'm going in the house. Mmm.
760
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,866
Keep your walkie on.
761
00:33:28,902 --> 00:33:30,201
Shoot.
762
00:33:33,206 --> 00:33:35,073
CHANEL: He was there!
763
00:33:35,108 --> 00:33:36,941
- He was in my room!
- DENISE: What's going on?
764
00:33:36,977 --> 00:33:38,076
I heard screaming.
765
00:33:38,111 --> 00:33:39,077
A Red Devil!
766
00:33:39,112 --> 00:33:40,545
A guy in a Red Devil costume
767
00:33:40,580 --> 00:33:42,013
attacked me!
768
00:33:42,048 --> 00:33:43,581
I was just looking for white eyeliner
769
00:33:43,617 --> 00:33:44,916
so I could draw on Zayday,
770
00:33:44,951 --> 00:33:46,017
when all of a sudden, there he was,
771
00:33:46,052 --> 00:33:47,552
trying to push me out a window.
772
00:33:47,587 --> 00:33:50,755
(screaming)
773
00:33:50,790 --> 00:33:52,757
(grunting)
774
00:33:57,564 --> 00:33:59,297
(screaming, shouting)
775
00:34:01,067 --> 00:34:02,734
DENISE: So you think
776
00:34:02,769 --> 00:34:05,069
- the serial killer is still up there?
- Yes!
777
00:34:05,105 --> 00:34:07,238
Okay, well, then let's go. Go where?!
778
00:34:07,273 --> 00:34:09,907
Upstairs to get the
killer before he gets away!
779
00:34:09,943 --> 00:34:11,376
Ah! Nah!
780
00:34:11,411 --> 00:34:12,443
Nah! Nah!
781
00:34:12,479 --> 00:34:13,745
Hell nah!
782
00:34:13,780 --> 00:34:16,047
You just said that you
think the killer is up there,
783
00:34:16,082 --> 00:34:17,915
and that's where you want to go?
784
00:34:17,951 --> 00:34:19,083
That's insane!
785
00:34:19,119 --> 00:34:21,285
What you need to do is run out this door.
786
00:34:21,321 --> 00:34:22,754
Denise, we're going upstairs.
787
00:34:22,789 --> 00:34:24,088
Come on.
788
00:34:24,124 --> 00:34:26,257
You dumb girls are so stupid!
789
00:34:26,292 --> 00:34:28,259
Y'all gonna get yourself killed!
790
00:34:28,294 --> 00:34:29,460
Uh...
791
00:34:30,697 --> 00:34:32,930
I'm-a stay down
here, and I'm-a...
792
00:34:32,966 --> 00:34:35,400
I'm-a guard the door,
that's what I'm-a do.
793
00:34:35,435 --> 00:34:38,970
Make sure don't nobody... nobody get in.
794
00:34:39,005 --> 00:34:41,439
Nope. I'm... I'm-a have
to go-go to the car.
795
00:34:41,474 --> 00:34:42,674
Shondell!
796
00:34:42,709 --> 00:34:44,609
Girl, the killer is in the house!
797
00:35:01,828 --> 00:35:04,495
(gasps)
798
00:35:04,531 --> 00:35:06,898
(all screaming)
799
00:35:19,145 --> 00:35:20,278
Closet's clear.
800
00:35:20,313 --> 00:35:21,212
No one's here.
801
00:35:21,247 --> 00:35:22,980
This is freakin' terrifying!
802
00:35:24,984 --> 00:35:27,118
The killer is in the house! You hear me?
803
00:35:27,153 --> 00:35:29,854
Shondell, the... Oh, crap.
804
00:35:29,889 --> 00:35:31,489
I sprinted too fast. (panting)
805
00:35:31,524 --> 00:35:32,857
I got to catch my breath.
806
00:35:32,892 --> 00:35:35,560
Can you bring my inhaler out the car?
807
00:35:38,665 --> 00:35:40,665
(panting)
808
00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:43,468
Shondell? Shondell?
809
00:35:43,503 --> 00:35:46,637
Shondell, did you hear me?
810
00:35:46,673 --> 00:35:49,707
I need my damn inhaler.
811
00:35:49,743 --> 00:35:51,342
I told you to keep your walkie on.
812
00:35:51,377 --> 00:35:52,810
The killer is in the house.
813
00:35:52,846 --> 00:35:53,978
(screaming)
814
00:35:54,013 --> 00:35:56,481
Shondell, why you got
a knife in your throat?!
815
00:35:56,516 --> 00:35:57,982
(Denise continues screaming)
816
00:35:58,017 --> 00:35:59,584
(tires screeching)
817
00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:06,357
(Denise grunting)
818
00:36:06,392 --> 00:36:08,159
Oh, shoot.
819
00:36:08,194 --> 00:36:10,128
(Denise continues screaming)
820
00:36:12,132 --> 00:36:13,598
Shondell!
821
00:36:26,868 --> 00:36:28,735
Yeah, you got this.
822
00:36:31,406 --> 00:36:34,407
823
00:36:43,819 --> 00:36:45,718
(sniffing)
824
00:36:45,754 --> 00:36:48,888
(footsteps)
825
00:37:12,948 --> 00:37:15,949
What, am I supposed to be scared?
826
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:18,284
And I'm gonna get so pissed tonight.
827
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,587
Oh, dude, you're just gonna get pissed?
828
00:37:20,622 --> 00:37:21,888
Don't even come out.
829
00:37:21,923 --> 00:37:23,490
We plan on getting drunk,
830
00:37:23,525 --> 00:37:25,725
and I don't want your
bad attitude ruining it.
831
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,127
Hey, Boone, let's go!
832
00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,595
We're headed down to White Stallion
833
00:37:28,630 --> 00:37:30,663
to pick up some sluts, baby!
834
00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:34,667
Boone, come on! Let's go!
835
00:37:34,703 --> 00:37:36,336
(high-pitched screaming)
836
00:37:44,112 --> 00:37:47,113
(all screaming)
837
00:37:59,327 --> 00:38:01,628
CHANEL: Congratulations, stupid hippos.
838
00:38:01,663 --> 00:38:03,296
If you make it through this banquet
839
00:38:03,331 --> 00:38:05,131
of delicious Oriental foods,
840
00:38:05,167 --> 00:38:07,467
you are officially done
with Hell Week. Maybe.
841
00:38:07,502 --> 00:38:09,135
And now, let us all
842
00:38:09,171 --> 00:38:10,970
sip from this communal bowl
843
00:38:11,006 --> 00:38:12,639
of Chinese lemon soup.
844
00:38:12,674 --> 00:38:13,640
De-licious.
845
00:38:13,675 --> 00:38:14,807
Hold on, y'all. That's not soup.
846
00:38:14,843 --> 00:38:16,476
I just saw you wash your hands with that.
847
00:38:16,511 --> 00:38:17,477
Zayday is correct.
848
00:38:17,512 --> 00:38:18,845
I just used that finger bowl
849
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,548
to wash my hands, something
I didn't do all day,
850
00:38:21,583 --> 00:38:24,150
despite having dropped
turdlets off at the pool twice.
851
00:38:24,186 --> 00:38:25,652
GRACE: This is insane.
852
00:38:25,687 --> 00:38:27,654
We are not drinking your
filthy hand water, Chanel.
853
00:38:27,689 --> 00:38:28,655
I will.
854
00:38:28,690 --> 00:38:30,156
I will drink the soup, Chanel. I will.
855
00:38:30,192 --> 00:38:31,558
- I will drink it all.
- ZAYDAY: Can we stop
856
00:38:31,593 --> 00:38:33,059
with the gross, weird hazing for a second
857
00:38:33,094 --> 00:38:36,196
and talk about what I thought we
were sitting down to talk about?
858
00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:38,498
That there's a serial
killer on campus and we need
859
00:38:38,533 --> 00:38:39,732
to figure out who it is.
860
00:38:39,768 --> 00:38:41,167
(sighs) Chanel,
861
00:38:41,203 --> 00:38:42,802
we all actually saw you
kill Ms. Bean, remember?
862
00:38:42,837 --> 00:38:44,170
So, right now,
863
00:38:44,206 --> 00:38:45,505
you're my prime suspect.
864
00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:47,340
CHANEL: Yes, okay, I burned her slightly,
865
00:38:47,375 --> 00:38:48,908
but stop saying that I killed her.
866
00:38:48,944 --> 00:38:50,009
I wish I had,
867
00:38:50,045 --> 00:38:51,578
because now she's walking the Earth
868
00:38:51,613 --> 00:38:53,012
with a burnt-off face, murdering people.
869
00:38:53,048 --> 00:38:54,347
Ms. Bean is
870
00:38:54,382 --> 00:38:55,515
obviously the killer!
871
00:38:55,550 --> 00:38:58,184
Well, did Ms. Bean
872
00:38:58,220 --> 00:39:01,020
maim and viciously disfigure
Melanie Dorkess last year?
873
00:39:04,025 --> 00:39:05,925
How dare you?
874
00:39:05,961 --> 00:39:08,194
That was a tragic accident.
875
00:39:08,230 --> 00:39:11,664
I am a kind and devoted
and loving friend to all.
876
00:39:11,700 --> 00:39:14,000
I'm not some crazed psychopath.
877
00:39:14,035 --> 00:39:16,035
If anyone here's a
psychopath, it's Neckbrace.
878
00:39:16,071 --> 00:39:17,270
Oh, my God, thank you.
879
00:39:17,305 --> 00:39:19,105
What's your alibi, Gracie, huh?
880
00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:20,273
Maybe you're the killer.
881
00:39:20,308 --> 00:39:21,374
Yeah, where were you when Deaf Taylor Swift
882
00:39:21,409 --> 00:39:22,442
had her mowed off?
883
00:39:22,477 --> 00:39:24,444
Well, you weren't there either, Chanel.
884
00:39:24,479 --> 00:39:25,144
Enough!
885
00:39:26,581 --> 00:39:28,314
I will not be put on trial.
886
00:39:29,251 --> 00:39:30,216
The truth is
887
00:39:30,252 --> 00:39:31,618
we don't know who the killer is,
888
00:39:31,653 --> 00:39:32,719
and, yes, I suppose
889
00:39:32,754 --> 00:39:34,454
it could be someone in this room.
890
00:39:34,489 --> 00:39:35,455
Now, call me old-fashioned,
891
00:39:35,490 --> 00:39:36,689
but I choose to believe
892
00:39:36,725 --> 00:39:37,690
that we are sisters
893
00:39:37,726 --> 00:39:38,891
who are in this together,
894
00:39:38,927 --> 00:39:41,060
bound by a sisterly duty
895
00:39:41,096 --> 00:39:42,895
to protect one another and to protect
896
00:39:42,931 --> 00:39:44,797
the proud traditions of Kappa House.
897
00:39:44,833 --> 00:39:48,134
Now, can we please get back to
drinking my pooey hand water?
898
00:39:48,169 --> 00:39:51,070
Everybody listen up.
Chad has something to say.
899
00:39:51,106 --> 00:39:52,405
Chad!
900
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,407
(panting): Hold on. Everybody...
901
00:39:54,442 --> 00:39:56,743
listen... listen up to me first.
902
00:39:56,778 --> 00:39:57,744
Whew.
903
00:39:57,779 --> 00:39:59,145
- Sorry.
- CHAD: No, take your time.
904
00:39:59,180 --> 00:40:01,080
You want to go first?
905
00:40:01,116 --> 00:40:03,049
Not now. Just do your thing.
906
00:40:03,084 --> 00:40:04,417
Okay.
907
00:40:04,452 --> 00:40:07,954
My friend Shondell was murdered last night.
908
00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:10,523
The killer stabbed her right in the face.
909
00:40:11,693 --> 00:40:13,426
Denise Hempville freaked out.
910
00:40:13,461 --> 00:40:14,994
Nobody came a-runnin'.
911
00:40:15,030 --> 00:40:16,663
So I grabbed Shondell,
912
00:40:16,698 --> 00:40:18,898
and I pushed her right out of that car.
913
00:40:18,933 --> 00:40:20,733
I drove away real scared.
914
00:40:20,769 --> 00:40:22,835
And now the body is missing.
915
00:40:22,871 --> 00:40:23,503
What?!
916
00:40:23,538 --> 00:40:24,504
Right!
917
00:40:24,539 --> 00:40:27,073
Look, uh, Chanel...
918
00:40:27,108 --> 00:40:29,609
(sighs) look, ever since
I broke up with you,
919
00:40:29,644 --> 00:40:31,711
I... I banged, like, 50 chicks.
920
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:34,447
(sighs) Also,
921
00:40:34,482 --> 00:40:36,983
my best friend, Boone...
922
00:40:37,018 --> 00:40:39,218
ooh, he is dead.
923
00:40:44,959 --> 00:40:46,959
924
00:40:59,174 --> 00:41:01,174
(door creaks)
925
00:41:27,001 --> 00:41:29,001
926
00:41:39,047 --> 00:41:41,013
(chuckles)
927
00:41:41,049 --> 00:41:43,449
What took you so long?
928
00:41:43,499 --> 00:41:48,049
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