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1
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,014
They're absolutely
beautiful, Logan.
2
00:00:12,015 --> 00:00:14,518
I've never seen anything
so beautiful in my life.
3
00:00:14,519 --> 00:00:15,494
She's gotta be kidding, right?
4
00:00:15,495 --> 00:00:17,265
- That's just sad.
- It's not the gift that matters.
5
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:18,944
It's the son behind it that counts.
6
00:00:18,945 --> 00:00:23,166
Absolutely. I'll see you at
the party tonight. Oh, really?
7
00:00:23,194 --> 00:00:25,105
You have another surprise for me?
8
00:00:25,106 --> 00:00:26,590
He's gonna walk on water?
9
00:00:27,514 --> 00:00:29,086
Oh, okay, I'll wait then.
10
00:00:29,514 --> 00:00:32,246
All right, thank you again,
sweetheart. You made my day.
11
00:00:32,587 --> 00:00:34,827
You know your other kids,
the ones that aren't Logan
12
00:00:34,828 --> 00:00:36,912
we got you something, too.
Cal's bringing it.
13
00:00:37,092 --> 00:00:38,355
Okay, but I have to
leave in a minute.
14
00:00:38,356 --> 00:00:40,699
Mom, I made you your
special birthday pancakes.
15
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:41,943
Dad made me promise.
16
00:00:43,227 --> 00:00:44,655
You're gonna see him later,
aren't you?
17
00:00:45,707 --> 00:00:48,624
Well, I hope. I mean,
if I get off work in time.
18
00:00:50,755 --> 00:00:53,499
But, hey, good luck
on that audition.
19
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,911
- You know, fingers crossed.
- Hey, and, you, good luck protecting
20
00:00:56,912 --> 00:00:59,091
those insurance companies
from the greedy poor people
21
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,920
trying to screw them
out of a profit.
22
00:01:01,139 --> 00:01:03,971
It's a good job, Hope,
one I probably don't deserve,
23
00:01:03,972 --> 00:01:06,371
but I beat out college
grads to get this job.
24
00:01:06,372 --> 00:01:08,336
I know. They called
to say thank you.
25
00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:11,081
Ah, yes! Sweet! You're still here!
26
00:01:12,982 --> 00:01:14,021
Okay.
27
00:01:14,022 --> 00:01:14,821
Finally.
28
00:01:14,822 --> 00:01:16,937
Happy birthday, mamacita!
29
00:01:16,998 --> 00:01:18,010
Whoo!
30
00:01:19,624 --> 00:01:20,396
Oh!
31
00:01:21,016 --> 00:01:22,900
Ooh, it's from all of us, okay?
32
00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:28,758
H?
33
00:01:30,082 --> 00:01:30,378
Right?!
34
00:01:30,379 --> 00:01:32,719
Oh! Wow. Well...
35
00:01:33,378 --> 00:01:34,191
That's...
36
00:01:35,393 --> 00:01:36,981
Really something.
37
00:01:38,554 --> 00:01:39,373
Thank you.
38
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:40,933
What? It's nice.
39
00:01:43,505 --> 00:01:44,271
Wow.
40
00:01:51,836 --> 00:01:52,644
It's no big deal, Alice.
41
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,748
I mean, if you've got
something else to do...
42
00:01:54,749 --> 00:01:57,193
No! Are you kidding me,
mamacita? I would love to come.
43
00:01:57,613 --> 00:01:59,131
I could ask some of
the other girls, too,
44
00:01:59,132 --> 00:02:01,015
- if that's okay with you.
- Yeah, please.
45
00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:02,368
Mm-hmm. I just didn't
want to be presumptuous
46
00:02:02,369 --> 00:02:04,045
because I'm the new kid.
Listen, "new kid."
47
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,600
Between you and me,
penny cannot stop bragging
48
00:02:09,601 --> 00:02:12,518
- about how smart she was to have hired you.
- Really?
49
00:02:12,519 --> 00:02:13,204
Yes.
50
00:02:13,841 --> 00:02:16,108
We all gettin' a little sick of it,
if you ask me.
51
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,388
Desert dive, 8:00.
52
00:02:18,631 --> 00:02:19,572
I'll be there.
53
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:24,596
Come on in.
54
00:02:26,873 --> 00:02:28,555
If you're busy, penny,
I'll come back later.
55
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,629
Oh. Now's good. What's up?
56
00:02:32,088 --> 00:02:34,965
Well, first of all,
it's my birthday.
57
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,659
- 35?
- Now and forever.
58
00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,062
I was having a little
get-together tonight,
59
00:02:40,063 --> 00:02:42,310
- and I was wondering if you might wanna...
- When and where?
60
00:02:42,311 --> 00:02:44,367
- Desert dive, 8:00.
- Great.
61
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,251
Anything else I can do for you?
62
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,163
Uh...
63
00:02:53,224 --> 00:02:55,183
There's a file that
came across my desk,
64
00:02:55,184 --> 00:02:57,614
- and I thought I should go over it with you.
- Mm-hmm.
65
00:02:57,615 --> 00:02:59,433
A house got robbed
in my neighborhood.
66
00:02:59,449 --> 00:03:01,926
They took plasma TVs,
stuff like that.
67
00:03:01,927 --> 00:03:03,499
You know the person
whose house it is?
68
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,835
A little. Not really.
69
00:03:06,255 --> 00:03:07,269
- Well, what's the issue?
- Well,
70
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,210
I noticed there were
no receipts attached,
71
00:03:09,211 --> 00:03:11,149
which I know, normally, we ask for.
72
00:03:11,345 --> 00:03:13,741
D also, there was no
police report filed
73
00:03:13,742 --> 00:03:14,729
for the break-in.
74
00:03:14,885 --> 00:03:17,937
Welcome to the world of
people trying to rip us off.
75
00:03:18,569 --> 00:03:21,073
Give it to me. I'll hand
it over to the fraud unit.
76
00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:23,262
You know what?
I'll just mark it "denied."
77
00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:27,766
Thanks, penny.
78
00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:40,821
Nice job. Really nice.
You'll be hearing from us soon.
79
00:03:41,459 --> 00:03:42,230
Heather?
80
00:03:42,914 --> 00:03:44,510
Heather West?
81
00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:46,047
Is that you?
82
00:03:46,234 --> 00:03:47,830
Chantelle Hazenby.
83
00:03:48,114 --> 00:03:51,230
Oh, my God! I hardly
even recognized you.
84
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:53,839
- You look so gorgeous.
- Oh, thanks.
85
00:03:54,394 --> 00:03:56,093
Ugh, I hate these cattle calls.
86
00:03:56,247 --> 00:03:59,309
- They can't all be offers, can they?
- If only, right?
87
00:03:59,569 --> 00:04:00,939
Hey, I've seen you on tv.
88
00:04:01,102 --> 00:04:03,686
Channel 11's pick-five
lotto girl. Big whoop.
89
00:04:03,687 --> 00:04:05,906
No. Seriously, that is so awesome.
90
00:04:06,153 --> 00:04:11,373
- "Tonight's first number is... 7."
- Listen, I owe you an apology.
91
00:04:11,537 --> 00:04:14,336
That pageant, when we were kids...
I'm really sorry
92
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:17,557
- that I told everybody at school what happened.
- Oh, that?
93
00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,796
And our five finalists are...
94
00:04:19,879 --> 00:04:22,652
From la quinta, Sarah Delafina.
95
00:04:24,344 --> 00:04:26,687
Representing rancho mirage,
96
00:04:26,688 --> 00:04:29,019
Chantelle Hazenby.
97
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,525
And from palm Springs,
98
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:34,771
Heather West.
99
00:04:40,588 --> 00:04:42,475
Oh! Whoa!
100
00:04:47,416 --> 00:04:48,668
Haven't thought about
that in forever.
101
00:04:48,703 --> 00:04:51,759
You must've hated being called
"Ralph" all those years.
102
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,332
You know, that saying...
103
00:04:53,863 --> 00:04:55,539
"What doesn't kill
you makes you..."
104
00:04:56,655 --> 00:04:58,073
Not dead or something.
105
00:04:58,074 --> 00:05:01,704
- Mm, no. Well, put your number in. We need to be friends.
- Really?
106
00:05:01,705 --> 00:05:03,421
- Yeah.
- Okay.
107
00:05:04,065 --> 00:05:06,176
Exact same phone.
Look at that. Wow.
108
00:05:06,177 --> 00:05:07,173
Bump!
109
00:05:07,729 --> 00:05:09,937
- Chantelle? You're up.
- Okay.
110
00:05:09,938 --> 00:05:11,915
- Hey, break a leg.
- Oh, I want you to get it.
111
00:05:12,847 --> 00:05:14,972
In fact, I'm gonna tell them that.
112
00:05:15,033 --> 00:05:16,610
Then maybe I can stop
feeling so guilty
113
00:05:16,611 --> 00:05:21,001
about the whole "Ralph" thing.
Okay? Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
114
00:05:21,002 --> 00:05:21,791
Bye.
115
00:05:26,611 --> 00:05:27,744
Patty, sweetheart,
116
00:05:28,315 --> 00:05:30,711
we have some wonderful
news to share with you.
117
00:05:30,859 --> 00:05:31,991
Tell her, Mrs. Hong.
118
00:05:32,284 --> 00:05:33,483
Okay, Mr. Hong.
119
00:05:36,053 --> 00:05:37,032
I'm pregnant.
120
00:05:39,212 --> 00:05:41,826
Wow. We tried for such a long time.
121
00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:43,687
Now our prayers have been answered.
122
00:05:43,714 --> 00:05:47,519
And... it is a boy.
I'm finally getting a son.
123
00:05:47,963 --> 00:05:48,768
Aw. Hmm?
124
00:05:48,813 --> 00:05:50,065
Mwah! Ooh!
125
00:05:59,964 --> 00:06:01,329
Son of a bitch!
126
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:04,905
Literally. Son of a bitch!
127
00:06:05,259 --> 00:06:06,214
What're you going off about?
128
00:06:06,215 --> 00:06:08,523
I'm the one who should
be freaking out here.
129
00:06:08,624 --> 00:06:10,490
"I'm finally getting my son."
130
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,971
I always knew he'd love
me more if I had a penis.
131
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,388
That'd be weird, though.
132
00:06:16,063 --> 00:06:18,202
All right, look, I know you
hate me and everything,
133
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,547
but I gotta tell you... - wait,
I don't hate you.
134
00:06:20,856 --> 00:06:25,911
- I thought I made that pretty obvious.
- Okay. Good then.
135
00:06:25,912 --> 00:06:28,661
Anyway, listen. I think it's mine.
136
00:06:29,064 --> 00:06:31,943
- Your what?
- My kid. My kid!
137
00:06:31,944 --> 00:06:35,030
He said that they were trying,
no go, over and over again.
138
00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:37,060
And I do her a couple
of times and bam!
139
00:06:37,615 --> 00:06:39,519
I mean, my olympic swim
team went for the gold.
140
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,995
You didn't use condoms, you moron?
141
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:45,349
Well... she kept jumping my bones..
142
00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:47,403
And it was kinda-
there wasn't a lot of time.
143
00:06:47,546 --> 00:06:48,699
And here I thought you'd changed
144
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:52,203
- and finally grew some brain cells.
- Huh?
145
00:06:52,493 --> 00:06:54,884
Just... just get away from me.
146
00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:59,207
Get away from me,
you and your boy sperm!
147
00:06:59,477 --> 00:07:00,194
Okay.
148
00:07:01,529 --> 00:07:02,378
Now!
149
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,370
Jeez, kasey.
150
00:07:06,678 --> 00:07:08,997
You know, if you're gonna put
in a bogus insurance claim,
151
00:07:08,998 --> 00:07:10,930
at least do a good job faking it.
152
00:07:11,091 --> 00:07:13,074
No, it's a real claim.
What are you talking about?
153
00:07:13,602 --> 00:07:16,534
You got broken into,
and you didn't call and tell me?
154
00:07:17,499 --> 00:07:19,158
With everything going on with wolf,
155
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:20,826
I didn't want to pile on.
156
00:07:21,042 --> 00:07:23,118
Then why didn't you
file a police report?
157
00:07:23,178 --> 00:07:25,506
- Terry wouldn't let me.
- Oh.
158
00:07:25,507 --> 00:07:27,673
You know how squirrelly
he is about the law.
159
00:07:27,674 --> 00:07:30,086
- Why do you even listen to him?
- Beats me.
160
00:07:30,170 --> 00:07:32,334
I mean, "I don't know," not
"he beats me."
161
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,728
- He doesn't.
- He better not.
162
00:07:35,457 --> 00:07:37,310
Now how come you didn't
attach any receipts
163
00:07:37,311 --> 00:07:38,443
for what was stolen?
164
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:39,466
Receipts?
165
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:42,442
My tv fell off the
same truck yours did.
166
00:07:42,646 --> 00:07:45,242
You pay cash.
You don't ask questions.
167
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:48,778
But I still got robbed,
and I should get my money back.
168
00:07:49,005 --> 00:07:50,650
That's why I have insurance.
169
00:07:50,991 --> 00:07:53,726
You're right, but I still don't
think this is gonna go through,
170
00:07:53,727 --> 00:07:55,931
especially since I
flagged it to my boss.
171
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,326
Damn it. Why didn't
you come to me first?
172
00:07:58,327 --> 00:08:00,162
I didn't know you
were working there.
173
00:08:00,174 --> 00:08:02,315
Last I heard,
you were at that grocery.
174
00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:04,027
Life's been crazy.
175
00:08:05,558 --> 00:08:06,595
Tell me about it.
176
00:08:07,936 --> 00:08:09,917
Yeah, like,
what is all this anyway?
177
00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:12,069
Oh, my new business...
178
00:08:12,081 --> 00:08:15,405
ladies' undies for women
of all shapes and sizes.
179
00:08:15,921 --> 00:08:17,593
Boobs, a solid caboose...
180
00:08:17,594 --> 00:08:19,386
just 'cause you got a
little meat on your bones
181
00:08:19,387 --> 00:08:22,758
- don't mean you can't be sexy.
- That's a really good idea.
182
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,686
Yeah, except I'm tapped out.
183
00:08:25,098 --> 00:08:27,480
That claim money was gonna
help me hire some workers
184
00:08:27,481 --> 00:08:31,172
- and buy new material, get thinthings going for.
- I'm sorry.
185
00:08:32,528 --> 00:08:33,670
You can't sneak it through?
186
00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:35,122
Or maybe ask Charlie
187
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,333
if he can print out some
fake receipts from the store?
188
00:08:38,025 --> 00:08:40,765
Come on, a little forgery
for old time's sake.
189
00:08:41,385 --> 00:08:42,453
I can't.
190
00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:51,152
Sorry. Gotta tow it to the shop.
191
00:08:51,292 --> 00:08:52,437
You know, I checked the carburetor,
192
00:08:52,438 --> 00:08:53,771
and it definitely is not that.
193
00:08:53,772 --> 00:08:55,083
Knock wood it's not
the transmission.
194
00:08:55,084 --> 00:08:58,095
But if it is,
I want to use factory parts.
195
00:08:58,096 --> 00:08:59,465
Okay, no more chop shop.
196
00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:02,003
- From now on, I'm on the up-and-up.
- You know, Cheryl,
197
00:09:02,004 --> 00:09:04,020
that's how the price
is gonna go... up and up.
198
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,797
The straight and narrow
path is gonna cost you.
199
00:09:05,801 --> 00:09:09,228
It already has. Mm. It's wolf.
200
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:11,461
Hi.
201
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,372
Happy birthday,
sunshine of my life.
202
00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:16,636
Thank you.
203
00:09:17,063 --> 00:09:18,591
What's that noise? Where are you?
204
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,328
Oh, my car had a temper tantrum.
205
00:09:20,329 --> 00:09:22,978
- Falani's here. He's towing me.
- Let me talk to him.
206
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:26,166
- I'll set you up.
- No, thanks. I got it covered.
207
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,037
They get older,
wanna be on their own,
208
00:09:30,042 --> 00:09:31,765
leave the nest, fly away.
209
00:09:32,146 --> 00:09:32,909
Ha ha.
210
00:09:33,104 --> 00:09:35,629
Well, how about Cal or Heather?
Can they drive you over here?
211
00:09:36,745 --> 00:09:37,607
No, I don't think so.
212
00:09:37,608 --> 00:09:39,413
The kids are throwing
me a birthday party.
213
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,134
You're kidding? I'm not gonna
see you on your birthday?
214
00:09:42,570 --> 00:09:44,093
No, I-I-I can't, wolf.
215
00:09:46,177 --> 00:09:48,582
Hey, what can you, right?
216
00:09:49,273 --> 00:09:50,101
No sweat.
217
00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:54,099
Have fun tonight. Make a good wish,
218
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,812
one that has me coming home in it.
219
00:09:57,617 --> 00:09:58,966
Happy birthday, babe.
220
00:09:59,210 --> 00:10:00,028
I love you.
221
00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:01,324
Yeah, me, too.
222
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,726
Ladies? Drink orders? Drinks?
223
00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:36,713
- Beer.
- Yeah, beer, please.
224
00:10:36,714 --> 00:10:37,966
Uh, white wine.
225
00:10:38,306 --> 00:10:39,752
- The same. White wine.
- Ma?
226
00:10:39,753 --> 00:10:41,529
- I'll have a wine, too.
- All right.
227
00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:44,102
Ooh! Fancy pants.
And a beer chaser.
228
00:10:44,283 --> 00:10:46,022
- Beer chaser.
- Better?
229
00:10:47,186 --> 00:10:48,198
So, uh...
230
00:10:49,512 --> 00:10:52,145
Guess who knocked up
Mrs. Hong but isn't Mr. Hong.
231
00:10:53,396 --> 00:10:55,368
You didn't use condoms, you moron?
232
00:10:56,452 --> 00:10:57,456
What does she want from you?
233
00:10:58,108 --> 00:10:59,149
Nothing so far.
234
00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:01,464
The old guy thinks it's his.
235
00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:03,897
Well, buddy boy,
you just dodged a bullet.
236
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,292
Okay, you sure you're
ready for my family?
237
00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:08,724
I have been sure for weeks.
238
00:11:08,725 --> 00:11:10,064
Anyway, there's no way I would miss
239
00:11:10,065 --> 00:11:11,819
your mother's birthday party,
even though
240
00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:14,095
I had to practically crowbar
the invitation out of you.
241
00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:16,908
- I just didn't want there to be any pressure.
- On me or on you?
242
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:21,045
- On you, of course.
- This is exactly where I wanna be.
243
00:11:21,377 --> 00:11:24,411
And you, sir, are exactly
who I wanna be with.
244
00:11:25,271 --> 00:11:26,192
And don't tell my students
245
00:11:26,193 --> 00:11:28,683
- I ended a sentence with a preposition.
- Come on. Come on.
246
00:11:31,199 --> 00:11:33,869
- Mom! Hey!
- Hey, Logan.
247
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:36,750
- Happy birthday!
- Oh! Oh! This is my son Logan, the lawyer.
248
00:11:36,751 --> 00:11:38,171
- Hi. How you doing?
- Hi, Logan.
249
00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:40,749
Uh, this is,
uh... - vice principal bottoms?
250
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,787
- Valerie, please.
- Valerie.
251
00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:47,658
She used to be my son's teacher.
252
00:11:48,047 --> 00:11:50,763
So this is your surprise?
253
00:11:51,007 --> 00:11:53,538
Valerie and I have been dating
for a while, yeah, and, uh...
254
00:11:54,342 --> 00:11:56,141
We were keeping it private.
Now we're not. So...
255
00:11:56,142 --> 00:11:58,866
Well... that's wonderful.
256
00:11:59,390 --> 00:12:00,307
Really? That's...
257
00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:02,948
Didn't know how you
were gonna react, so...
258
00:12:03,247 --> 00:12:06,742
What, a-a beautiful woman,
responsible, with a career?
259
00:12:06,743 --> 00:12:08,249
I mean, what could
be bad about that?
260
00:12:08,251 --> 00:12:10,829
Oh, I am so happy to
hear you say that... oh.
261
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,602
- Mrs. West.
- Cheryl. Please.
262
00:12:13,189 --> 00:12:13,962
Oh.
263
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,611
- "Cheryl."
- Cheryl.
264
00:12:15,663 --> 00:12:17,348
Well, come on, Valerie.
Park it here.
265
00:12:17,349 --> 00:12:19,390
And, you, go get her
a Tequila sunrise
266
00:12:19,391 --> 00:12:22,811
or a daiquiri or something
with a plastic monkey.
267
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,409
Oh. Nice to meet you.
268
00:12:26,206 --> 00:12:28,809
Can I get something with
a monkey in it, please?
269
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:34,284
Dude, is that "miss Bottoms
with the awesome top"
270
00:12:34,285 --> 00:12:35,188
over there with mom?
271
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:36,210
Yeah. Yeah.
272
00:12:37,188 --> 00:12:40,172
And we're dating now,
so lose the nickname.
273
00:12:41,863 --> 00:12:45,623
Oh, good on you, buddy. She is hot.
274
00:12:46,284 --> 00:12:47,496
Hey, speaking of hot,
275
00:12:48,323 --> 00:12:51,082
what's up with that-
that Chinese girl you work with?
276
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:52,910
What is it? Uh, uh. Peggy?
277
00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:54,856
- What, Patty Hong?
- Patty Hong.
278
00:12:55,628 --> 00:12:57,575
I bumped into her when I
dropped off that package.
279
00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:01,390
- What's her deal?
- I don't know, man. She's weird.
280
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,710
I mean, for a second there,
she hated me,
281
00:13:03,747 --> 00:13:06,231
then she sort of liked me,
and now she hates me again.
282
00:13:07,635 --> 00:13:08,391
What'd you do?
283
00:13:09,347 --> 00:13:11,298
Got her stepmom pregnant.
284
00:13:11,299 --> 00:13:12,654
You didn't use a condom?
285
00:13:13,882 --> 00:13:14,727
You moron!
286
00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:17,247
Why does everybody have
to say "you moron"?
287
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:21,979
- Cheers!
- Happy birthday to me. Cheers!
288
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:23,944
- To new old friends.
- To old new friends.
289
00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:27,534
Mm. I have to find the
little models' room.
290
00:13:27,722 --> 00:13:30,103
Mm. W... where's that?
291
00:13:30,706 --> 00:13:32,247
She means the toilet, Cruz.
292
00:13:33,466 --> 00:13:35,794
- What'd you bring her here for?
- Yo, yo, don't be discouraging
293
00:13:35,795 --> 00:13:37,190
the bringing of hot ladies, okay?
294
00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,685
Well, you could've brought
someone here, too.
295
00:13:38,686 --> 00:13:40,938
That is, if anyone
actually liked you.
296
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,450
Mm, whatever you say, Ralph.
297
00:13:42,461 --> 00:13:45,322
- She apologized for that.
- I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
298
00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:47,062
but Chantelle's only
being nice to you
299
00:13:47,063 --> 00:13:49,700
- because she's threatened by you.
- What?
300
00:13:49,701 --> 00:13:51,018
You're the competition.
301
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,450
New blood nipping
at her spiked heels.
302
00:13:53,805 --> 00:13:56,269
"Keep your friends close
and your enemies closer."
303
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,673
That mean anything to you?
304
00:13:57,685 --> 00:13:59,693
No. If I had any enemies,
305
00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:01,676
I'd wanna keep 'em as far
away from me as possible.
306
00:14:01,677 --> 00:14:03,340
Besides, how am I a threat to her?
307
00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:04,957
I mean, she's, like, so far
308
00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:08,533
- ahead of me in her career.
- Oh, and you idolize her!
309
00:14:08,534 --> 00:14:09,809
Even better.
310
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,332
It's so she can keep an eye on you
311
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:12,884
and get sucked up
to at the same time.
312
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,982
- Its pretty efficient, actually.
- Oh, what do you know?
313
00:14:14,983 --> 00:14:16,890
Maybe she just likes
to hang out with me.
314
00:14:16,946 --> 00:14:19,363
Haven't you ever heard the story
of the scorpion and the frog?
315
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,958
No, but I guess I'm going to.
316
00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:23,773
So here's this scorpion,
and there's this frog.
317
00:14:23,774 --> 00:14:26,205
And the scorpion asks the frog
to take him across the river.
318
00:14:26,206 --> 00:14:28,220
And the frog's like,
"oh, I don't know.
319
00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:29,783
I'm afraid you're gonna sting me."
320
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:33,065
The scorpion goes, "hey,
if I did that, we'd both drown."
321
00:14:33,066 --> 00:14:34,533
The frog figures, "okay."
322
00:14:35,026 --> 00:14:36,974
The scorpion gets
on the frog's back.
323
00:14:36,995 --> 00:14:40,929
Halfway across the river,
the scorpion stings the frog.
324
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:43,114
And as they're both sinking to
the bottom, the frog's like,
325
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:45,374
"What's the deal? You promised
you wouldn't do that."
326
00:14:45,782 --> 00:14:46,794
The scorpion goes,
327
00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:49,354
"I'm a scorpion.
It's in my nature."
328
00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:53,090
That is so stupid.
Frogs don't even talk.
329
00:14:53,189 --> 00:14:54,741
Check, please.
330
00:14:54,742 --> 00:14:55,671
Come on, heather-feather.
331
00:14:55,672 --> 00:14:58,045
Let's make the guys in
this place go crazy.
332
00:14:59,906 --> 00:15:00,847
Yes, please.
333
00:15:03,298 --> 00:15:06,099
Hey, Cruz. Wanna watch a
scorpion dance with a frog?
334
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:07,279
Look right over there.
335
00:15:08,386 --> 00:15:09,543
Yeah.
336
00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:15,718
Oh. Hey. Look who's here.
337
00:15:16,161 --> 00:15:18,550
Well, sergeant, what brings
you out on a school night?
338
00:15:18,642 --> 00:15:20,736
Oh, one of my detectives is
getting married this weekend,
339
00:15:20,737 --> 00:15:24,582
- so we're having his wake tonight, basically.
- Oh.
340
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:26,912
So, uh, did you find a job?
341
00:15:26,913 --> 00:15:27,629
I did.
342
00:15:28,082 --> 00:15:29,384
And thanks, by the way,
343
00:15:29,385 --> 00:15:32,262
for getting that
nonsense off my record.
344
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:34,189
Oh. Don't mention it.
345
00:15:35,248 --> 00:15:36,045
Where you workin'?
346
00:15:36,642 --> 00:15:38,501
Silver sentinel insurance.
347
00:15:39,049 --> 00:15:41,448
Insurance. Wow. That's, uh...
348
00:15:41,449 --> 00:15:43,270
ironic? Hilarious?
349
00:15:43,321 --> 00:15:46,853
No, I-I was gonna say
"impressive," actually.
350
00:15:48,978 --> 00:15:49,837
Sorry.
351
00:15:50,129 --> 00:15:53,685
I guess I'm... just used
to you being a jerk to me.
352
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:57,623
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
you know.
353
00:15:59,985 --> 00:16:01,245
Anyhow, um...
354
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:03,125
Uh, sorry.
355
00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:04,386
- Good night.
- Okay.
356
00:16:04,387 --> 00:16:05,149
See ya.
357
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:16,173
- Hey.
- Valerie and I, we're gonna take off.
358
00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:16,854
That's right,
359
00:16:16,855 --> 00:16:19,747
'cause you both have to get
up early for your work.
360
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:22,810
So do you, so don't, you know,
stay out too late, okay?
361
00:16:23,013 --> 00:16:23,738
Okay.
362
00:16:25,294 --> 00:16:26,106
What's the matter?
363
00:16:27,381 --> 00:16:29,425
Mm. Nothin'.
364
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:33,043
Come on. Mom, I know that look.
365
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:36,849
I miss your father.
366
00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:41,698
You should get him out of jail.
367
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:45,154
I should've never told you not to.
368
00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:47,970
What was I thinking?
369
00:16:48,029 --> 00:16:50,818
You were thinking
about your kids, mom.
370
00:16:51,574 --> 00:16:54,205
Okay, Cal has a good job,
Hope's in school,
371
00:16:54,206 --> 00:16:55,473
you've got a good job.
372
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:58,773
Heather's getting more auditions,
making connections.
373
00:16:58,774 --> 00:17:00,692
The family is doing really,
really good,
374
00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,739
and you know and I know
375
00:17:03,215 --> 00:17:04,823
that it wouldn't have
happened if dad were around.
376
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,494
And I-I'm sorry.
377
00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:08,163
I know that that's harsh,
but it's totally true.
378
00:17:09,631 --> 00:17:10,451
You're right...
379
00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:12,971
As usual.
380
00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:16,132
I love you.
381
00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:18,731
Home safe.
382
00:17:19,543 --> 00:17:20,492
Happy birthday.
383
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:22,940
I love you.
384
00:17:41,008 --> 00:17:42,397
What is it? What's the emergency?
385
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:43,565
I lied.
386
00:17:44,641 --> 00:17:45,822
There's no emergency.
387
00:17:46,281 --> 00:17:47,720
I just wanted to call you
388
00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:50,176
and hear your voice when
it was still my birthday.
389
00:17:50,177 --> 00:17:53,870
'Cause it is still my
birthday... isn't it?
390
00:17:54,393 --> 00:17:55,598
You're drunk, lady.
391
00:17:56,177 --> 00:17:58,166
So what?
392
00:17:58,313 --> 00:18:00,032
You've been avoiding me,
Cher. Admit it.
393
00:18:00,033 --> 00:18:02,645
Okay, not now,
okay? Just... just be sweet now.
394
00:18:03,937 --> 00:18:06,365
I'm only saying it 'cause
of how much I miss you.
395
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:10,024
I miss the way your hair smells
396
00:18:10,025 --> 00:18:11,604
when you get out of the shower.
397
00:18:12,721 --> 00:18:15,214
I miss the creases in
the back of your knees.
398
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:18,102
I miss tracing your tattoo
399
00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:20,633
with my finger while
we're lying on the couch
400
00:18:20,634 --> 00:18:21,989
watching bad tv.
401
00:18:24,378 --> 00:18:25,749
Man, oh, man.
402
00:18:27,401 --> 00:18:29,565
I'm gonna make it up to you
when I get out of here.
403
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,392
Every holiday I'm missing
404
00:18:32,393 --> 00:18:34,501
being stuck in here,
every birthday,
405
00:18:34,609 --> 00:18:36,957
- you're getting 'em back and then some.
- Yeah.
406
00:18:37,218 --> 00:18:38,077
I promise.
407
00:18:41,106 --> 00:18:42,709
- Are you still there?
- Yeah.
408
00:18:43,825 --> 00:18:44,725
Keep talkin'.
409
00:18:45,037 --> 00:18:47,969
Hey, remember when Heather
couldn't say "t-h"
410
00:18:48,741 --> 00:18:49,701
when she was little?
411
00:18:49,702 --> 00:18:51,434
She'd say, "happy burp-day."
412
00:18:54,621 --> 00:18:56,489
The boys had a field
day with that one, huh?
413
00:18:57,085 --> 00:19:00,866
Well, that was a long time ago,
when we were young and pretty.
414
00:19:01,718 --> 00:19:02,690
You're still young,
415
00:19:03,029 --> 00:19:05,130
and you're as beautiful
as the day I met you.
416
00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:06,722
Aww.
417
00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:08,901
We did good, Cher, you and me, huh?
418
00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:10,821
We made an amazing family.
419
00:19:12,638 --> 00:19:13,730
Oh, wolf.
420
00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:17,081
What am I gonna do with you?
421
00:19:17,814 --> 00:19:19,697
Whatever you like,
when I get out of here.
422
00:19:20,791 --> 00:19:21,705
So, uh.
423
00:19:23,542 --> 00:19:25,121
About this rager I'm missing.
424
00:19:27,095 --> 00:19:27,873
Come on.
425
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,250
Hey, Cheryl.
426
00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:50,675
Hey.
427
00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:53,353
- You don't look any worse for wear.
- Oh.
428
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:55,588
That was fun last night.
429
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,844
- Yeah, it was. Thanks for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
430
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,756
Um, Alice, uh, turned in
this claim for her car,
431
00:20:02,015 --> 00:20:04,500
and I just thought you
should have a look at it.
432
00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:05,981
I didn't say anything to her.
433
00:20:08,218 --> 00:20:11,798
Well, it says her car was taken
from the big foods parking lot,
434
00:20:12,197 --> 00:20:14,087
and they found it
torched in Joshua tree.
435
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,554
Can't get any more
totaled than that.
436
00:20:18,311 --> 00:20:19,628
I know. I read it.
437
00:20:19,629 --> 00:20:21,364
It just sounded a little...
438
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,467
I don't know. But I
don't wanna judge Alice.
439
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,406
I-I shouldn't have
wasted your time.
440
00:20:26,407 --> 00:20:29,427
D-d... leave it here.
I'll expedite it for her.
441
00:20:32,519 --> 00:20:33,548
Okay. Thanks.
442
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:38,203
You know, if you and your
family aren't covered with us,
443
00:20:38,749 --> 00:20:41,875
you should really consider it.
Our prices are very competitive.
444
00:20:43,239 --> 00:20:44,171
I'll look into it.
445
00:20:47,607 --> 00:20:48,768
That's a beauty, Alice.
446
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,025
Isn't she though?
447
00:20:50,075 --> 00:20:53,303
Gosh, I just love that
new car smell. Don't you?
448
00:20:53,363 --> 00:20:55,007
I swear, if they
made it into perfume,
449
00:20:55,008 --> 00:20:57,482
- I'd be dabbing it all over me.
- Well, don't forget
450
00:20:57,483 --> 00:20:59,530
to set your car alarm
when you park, okay?
451
00:20:59,531 --> 00:21:02,144
- You can never be too careful.
- Always.
452
00:21:02,715 --> 00:21:04,256
Bye, sweetie. You take care.
453
00:21:16,547 --> 00:21:20,415
I'm hungover from mom's party.
We wish you were the, man.
454
00:21:20,507 --> 00:21:21,719
I'll be there next year,
455
00:21:21,786 --> 00:21:23,627
assuming your brother
gets his act together
456
00:21:23,628 --> 00:21:26,637
and wins my appeal.
I haven't heard from him lately.
457
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,224
Ah, I'll get on his case.
458
00:21:29,653 --> 00:21:32,288
Hey, dad, I gotta
ask you something.
459
00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:35,443
How did it feel when you found out
460
00:21:35,444 --> 00:21:37,672
that mom was pregnant
with me and Logan?
461
00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:38,931
Did you get somebody pregnant?
462
00:21:38,932 --> 00:21:41,688
No, no, no, no. No, no.
I just... I don't know.
463
00:21:42,396 --> 00:21:45,144
Something that crossed my mind.
I wanted to ask you about it.
464
00:21:45,331 --> 00:21:47,792
Is heather... no, dad. Jeez.
465
00:21:48,012 --> 00:21:50,608
- Heather's not pregnant.
- You're sure?
466
00:21:50,756 --> 00:21:52,258
'Cause not you got
me all nervous...
467
00:21:53,239 --> 00:21:54,679
Which, come to think of it,
468
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,771
is exactly how I felt
when your mother told me.
469
00:21:57,302 --> 00:21:59,661
- You didn't want us?
- I wanted you like crazy.
470
00:21:59,662 --> 00:22:01,611
I was afraid I wouldn't
be a good father.
471
00:22:01,910 --> 00:22:04,741
On top of which, people tell ya,
the minute your kids are born,
472
00:22:04,742 --> 00:22:06,367
you're worried from that moment on
473
00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:09,405
through the rest of your life.
"Are they safe? Are they happy?
474
00:22:09,406 --> 00:22:12,942
- Are people being nice to them?" All of that.
- Oh, that's huge.
475
00:22:12,943 --> 00:22:15,347
Yeah, it's huge and terrifying.
476
00:22:17,326 --> 00:22:19,578
And it's the best thing
that can happen to a man.
477
00:22:20,775 --> 00:22:21,498
Yeah.
478
00:22:21,694 --> 00:22:24,521
You hold that baby in your
hands the first time...
479
00:22:25,694 --> 00:22:27,427
And immediately,
without even thinking about it,
480
00:22:27,428 --> 00:22:30,378
you know, "I would kill r this kid.
481
00:22:30,723 --> 00:22:32,446
I would die for this kid."
482
00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:34,454
I mean, what's better than that?
483
00:22:35,204 --> 00:22:35,943
Huh?
484
00:22:38,595 --> 00:22:41,386
I thought I made
myself crystal clear
485
00:22:41,387 --> 00:22:44,015
about this family
and stolen property.
486
00:22:44,403 --> 00:22:46,327
You said we weren't
allowed to steal stuff.
487
00:22:46,987 --> 00:22:49,022
I bought that clock, ma.
I paid good money for it.
488
00:22:49,023 --> 00:22:51,799
- And you still owe me your half, by the way.
- Third, genius.
489
00:22:52,427 --> 00:22:55,014
- Where did you buy it?
- Chlie.
490
00:22:55,354 --> 00:22:56,798
- Oh.
- Does that mean we're
491
00:22:56,799 --> 00:22:58,745
getting rid of all our
furniture now, too?
492
00:22:58,852 --> 00:23:00,658
- That was different.
- How is that different?
493
00:23:00,659 --> 00:23:02,479
It came from the same
place as the clock.
494
00:23:02,588 --> 00:23:04,451
Before. That was before.
495
00:23:04,771 --> 00:23:05,745
And where have you been?
496
00:23:05,746 --> 00:23:08,380
With Chantelle. And, no,
I haven't heard from my audition,
497
00:23:08,381 --> 00:23:09,519
in case you were wondering.
498
00:23:09,547 --> 00:23:11,526
It's the only thing any
of us could think about!
499
00:23:11,818 --> 00:23:14,848
Look, you, if I could get rid
of everything in this house
500
00:23:14,849 --> 00:23:16,772
that was either hot
or fell off a truck
501
00:23:16,773 --> 00:23:20,002
or whatever you wanna call it,
I would... the couch, the tv,
502
00:23:20,003 --> 00:23:21,930
your computer... but I can't.
503
00:23:21,931 --> 00:23:23,564
And if you think I'm a hypocrite,
504
00:23:23,565 --> 00:23:25,095
then you can sit on the damn floor.
505
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:32,693
Okay... well, if it's okay
to keep the furniture,
506
00:23:32,694 --> 00:23:34,706
it's okay to keep
this butt-ugly clock.
507
00:23:36,485 --> 00:23:38,266
- You're not allowed to buy things...
- Wh...
508
00:23:38,267 --> 00:23:40,425
ever again. Ugh!
509
00:23:46,936 --> 00:23:47,673
Hey.
510
00:23:47,936 --> 00:23:50,115
- Psst. Hey.
- Ugh.
511
00:23:50,239 --> 00:23:51,932
- Do you have a minute?
- No.
512
00:23:53,911 --> 00:23:55,203
60 seconds then.
513
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:58,892
Cal...
514
00:24:00,262 --> 00:24:01,052
What is it?
515
00:24:01,072 --> 00:24:03,932
- It's about our baby.
- Oh, we don't have a baby.
516
00:24:03,933 --> 00:24:04,942
All right, listen to me.
517
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,734
Now I don't have a lot
of money or anything,
518
00:24:06,735 --> 00:24:09,222
but I'd be willing to throw in
a couple of bucks every month
519
00:24:09,223 --> 00:24:11,254
and take him on the
weekends once in a while.
520
00:24:11,255 --> 00:24:13,277
And I don't know what you
were thinking about names,
521
00:24:13,278 --> 00:24:14,605
but I had a couple ideas.
522
00:24:14,606 --> 00:24:17,591
I always liked the name "Lenny."
Look, look, just...
523
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,917
why don't you just keep
your ideas to yourself
524
00:24:20,169 --> 00:24:21,582
and your couple of bucks?
525
00:24:21,913 --> 00:24:23,616
This baby is mine and Mr. Hong's.
526
00:24:23,617 --> 00:24:26,591
All right, listen, this is my
first kid... that I know of,
527
00:24:26,592 --> 00:24:27,984
and I wanna be in his life.
528
00:24:27,985 --> 00:24:28,936
I want him to know what I'd
529
00:24:28,937 --> 00:24:31,220
- kill for him and die for him.
- Ah, shh, shh, shh.
530
00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:35,095
You are irrelevant,
period, end of story.
531
00:24:35,096 --> 00:24:37,180
You know what?
I think you planned it.
532
00:24:38,016 --> 00:24:40,119
I think you made me
your insperminator,
533
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:41,726
and now you're gonna cut me out!
534
00:24:42,488 --> 00:24:44,536
Let's just say, hypothetically,
that I did do that.
535
00:24:44,537 --> 00:24:47,487
How about just say it?
'Cause that's what happened.
536
00:24:47,488 --> 00:24:50,224
And if Mr. Hong found out
that you and I were together,
537
00:24:50,225 --> 00:24:52,749
let alone anything else...
538
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:55,733
I guarantee you'll get
to die for this kid.
539
00:25:07,566 --> 00:25:09,625
So how did you, like,
find out? How did they tell you
540
00:25:09,626 --> 00:25:11,287
you were gonna be
the next lotto girl?
541
00:25:11,402 --> 00:25:13,186
Oh, my agent did that thing
542
00:25:13,187 --> 00:25:15,281
where she pretended
to be all bummed out.
543
00:25:15,282 --> 00:25:17,112
So, you know,
I figured I didn't get it.
544
00:25:17,113 --> 00:25:19,863
And then she yelled, "congratulations!"
Oh! That's so cool!
545
00:25:19,864 --> 00:25:23,078
I know. Hey, do you ever get
those 6s and those 9s mixed up
546
00:25:23,079 --> 00:25:24,351
on those ping-pong balls?
547
00:25:24,352 --> 00:25:26,371
There's a mark so you
know which is the top.
548
00:25:26,646 --> 00:25:27,805
Oh. Cool.
549
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,635
So what do you think?
550
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:33,964
Honestly?
551
00:25:35,688 --> 00:25:37,141
They're not that great.
552
00:25:37,391 --> 00:25:39,771
And... I'm telling
you this as a friend.
553
00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:43,956
Um, well, I've been getting
really good feedback on it.
554
00:25:44,535 --> 00:25:48,195
Yeah, I'm sure your mom likes
the pictures of you very much.
555
00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:50,132
No, she actually hates the
556
00:25:50,191 --> 00:25:53,019
um, tell me.
W... come on, I can take it.
557
00:25:55,415 --> 00:25:57,918
You know what? No. No.
That would be mean.
558
00:25:57,919 --> 00:26:01,186
And... anyways,
it's totally subjective.
559
00:26:01,462 --> 00:26:03,191
Although, of course,
560
00:26:03,227 --> 00:26:07,634
there is an industry standard,
but never mind that.
561
00:26:07,635 --> 00:26:10,064
What... what is it? My... my... my smile?
562
00:26:10,065 --> 00:26:11,746
My hair? My eyes?
563
00:26:11,747 --> 00:26:12,815
W-w-what?
564
00:26:17,299 --> 00:26:19,964
- Let's just forget I said anything.
- No! I-I-I can't.
565
00:26:19,965 --> 00:26:21,357
Now anytime anyone
wants to see these,
566
00:26:21,358 --> 00:26:25,335
- I'm gonna be all freaked out.
- Honey, no, I would never want that.
567
00:26:26,227 --> 00:26:27,088
Forgive me.
568
00:26:27,579 --> 00:26:28,407
Please?
569
00:26:30,019 --> 00:26:30,756
Okay?
570
00:26:30,985 --> 00:26:31,973
Okay.
571
00:26:40,170 --> 00:26:42,185
Ooh, what's the matter, puppy dog?
572
00:26:42,186 --> 00:26:44,630
You look like someone
peed in your water bowl.
573
00:26:45,129 --> 00:26:45,854
Oh.
574
00:26:46,889 --> 00:26:49,317
I was gettin' used to
the idea of being a dad.
575
00:26:49,945 --> 00:26:50,910
She won't let me.
576
00:26:51,681 --> 00:26:54,264
Find yourself a nice
girl to have babies with,
577
00:26:54,265 --> 00:26:57,405
- not Cruella de Vil.
- I guess.
578
00:26:58,355 --> 00:27:01,071
Well, you got some decent
sex out of it, right?
579
00:27:01,332 --> 00:27:02,096
That's true.
580
00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:06,472
She may be mean,
but she's got some skills.
581
00:27:08,348 --> 00:27:10,728
Bet she wasn't as good as me,
though, was she?
582
00:27:21,211 --> 00:27:23,915
You ass! You don't have time
to work on dad's appeal,
583
00:27:23,916 --> 00:27:26,063
but you have time to
have sex with Patty Hong?
584
00:27:26,092 --> 00:27:29,091
To be precise,
"Cal" had sex with Patty Hong.
585
00:27:29,092 --> 00:27:30,722
I just happened to be
playing the role of Cal
586
00:27:30,723 --> 00:27:32,115
for that particular performance.
587
00:27:32,116 --> 00:27:34,619
You got hot old Ms. Bottoms
and you're cheatin' on her?
588
00:27:34,620 --> 00:27:36,808
"Logan" hasn't sleep
with anybody but Valerie.
589
00:27:38,483 --> 00:27:40,040
Again... that was "Cal."
590
00:27:40,371 --> 00:27:43,184
You're such a lawyer. So...
591
00:27:43,380 --> 00:27:46,314
What? So how was she? Come on,
give up the goods, man.
592
00:27:46,315 --> 00:27:49,049
Well, that is privileged
client/attorney information.
593
00:27:49,050 --> 00:27:53,151
No, but you said that it was "Cal,"
not Logan the lawyer.
594
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,083
Whoa! Logic!
595
00:27:56,479 --> 00:27:57,671
Do you need a little rest after
596
00:27:57,672 --> 00:28:00,739
- that brain workout there, buddy?
- Oh, ha ha ha.
597
00:28:01,008 --> 00:28:03,380
Uh, to tell you the truth,
it was very nice.
598
00:28:03,991 --> 00:28:04,779
It was very...
599
00:28:06,038 --> 00:28:07,659
It was very nice, really nice.
600
00:28:07,944 --> 00:28:09,491
All right. I get it.
601
00:28:10,312 --> 00:28:11,131
It was nice.
602
00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:14,881
So, uh, she thinks she
already had sex with me once.
603
00:28:15,215 --> 00:28:17,139
What's to stop her
from doing it again?
604
00:28:17,206 --> 00:28:19,595
Well, the fact that it would
actually be you this time.
605
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:21,116
You suck.
606
00:28:22,135 --> 00:28:24,627
All right, I'm gonna take off.
See you later.
607
00:28:24,839 --> 00:28:26,219
Oh, hey, dude, Logan.
608
00:28:27,527 --> 00:28:28,443
Go see dad.
609
00:28:33,111 --> 00:28:35,075
Oh. What a nice surprise.
610
00:28:35,790 --> 00:28:38,595
I thought we should talk
outside of the office.
611
00:28:39,079 --> 00:28:41,731
I hope that's all right.
Let me make a wild guess...
612
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:43,883
it's about Alice's claim.
613
00:28:47,071 --> 00:28:47,835
It is.
614
00:28:47,982 --> 00:28:50,267
And Marcie's and Emma'
615
00:28:50,277 --> 00:28:52,850
somebody's gotten adept at
using the office computer.
616
00:28:53,030 --> 00:28:55,763
All false claims,
all approved by you.
617
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,438
And I think you wanted
me to figure it out.
618
00:28:58,845 --> 00:28:59,681
Why is that?
619
00:29:00,596 --> 00:29:03,034
The girls at work,
they're like us...
620
00:29:03,805 --> 00:29:05,145
a little bit damaged.
621
00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:06,834
No offense, but...
622
00:29:07,588 --> 00:29:09,563
I don't see myself as damaged.
623
00:29:09,668 --> 00:29:10,857
Well, you know what I mean.
624
00:29:10,862 --> 00:29:13,129
Some of us are married,
some separated,
625
00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:15,673
some, their men are "away."
626
00:29:15,790 --> 00:29:17,360
And I think we deserve a little...
627
00:29:18,276 --> 00:29:19,297
Somethin' somethin',
628
00:29:19,693 --> 00:29:21,780
like maybe a new car
every couple of years,
629
00:29:21,781 --> 00:29:22,913
to balance things out.
630
00:29:22,949 --> 00:29:25,057
See, I see it as an
act of sisterhood.
631
00:29:25,308 --> 00:29:27,377
That's funny, 'cause I see it
632
00:29:27,378 --> 00:29:31,033
as an act of stealing from
the company we work for.
633
00:29:32,052 --> 00:29:32,800
Oh.
634
00:29:33,300 --> 00:29:35,446
Well... then I guess
you won't be interested
635
00:29:35,447 --> 00:29:37,257
in the promotion I
was gonna offer you.
636
00:29:37,725 --> 00:29:39,386
My job is becoming available...
637
00:29:39,517 --> 00:29:41,667
more than twice the
salary you're making now,
638
00:29:41,668 --> 00:29:43,393
among other perks.
639
00:29:44,285 --> 00:29:46,561
- Where are you going?
- Corporate headquarters.
640
00:29:46,902 --> 00:29:48,376
I'm getting a promotion, too.
641
00:29:49,469 --> 00:29:53,247
And I need someone I can
trust to carry on my...
642
00:29:54,516 --> 00:29:55,327
Legacy.
643
00:29:56,243 --> 00:29:57,697
So why me?
644
00:29:58,445 --> 00:30:01,543
Why not Alice or any
one of the others?
645
00:30:02,054 --> 00:30:03,605
Well, because as nice as they are,
646
00:30:03,606 --> 00:30:06,258
they're... no Cheryl West.
647
00:30:07,662 --> 00:30:08,434
Ah.
648
00:30:09,510 --> 00:30:10,516
What, do you really think
649
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:11,940
that I could work in
insurance out here
650
00:30:11,941 --> 00:30:13,697
and not know about the Wests?
651
00:30:16,388 --> 00:30:17,569
Look, the point is,
652
00:30:18,349 --> 00:30:20,857
I am not here to judge
you on your past.
653
00:30:21,341 --> 00:30:22,952
I wanna put it to good use.
654
00:30:24,532 --> 00:30:25,664
You don't need to answer now.
655
00:30:27,068 --> 00:30:28,018
Just sleep on it.
656
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,037
Hey, hang on a second.
657
00:30:54,075 --> 00:30:55,423
Please hold for Robin Kubryk.
658
00:30:56,955 --> 00:30:58,303
Sorry. Hi.
659
00:30:58,451 --> 00:31:00,772
Hey, sweetie. It's Robin Kubryk.
Just calling to let you know
660
00:31:00,773 --> 00:31:04,780
- your call time got pushed an hour.
- My call time? What call time?
661
00:31:04,781 --> 00:31:06,958
The ad you're shooting today-
save the whales,
662
00:31:07,049 --> 00:31:08,841
man's inhumanity to manatee.
663
00:31:08,842 --> 00:31:10,494
You know, that animal rights thing.
664
00:31:10,536 --> 00:31:12,685
I got it?! Oh, my gosh!
665
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,004
Well, thank you! Thank you!
666
00:31:15,346 --> 00:31:16,969
What are you going on about,
Chantelle?
667
00:31:16,970 --> 00:31:18,062
You booked this days ago.
668
00:31:19,385 --> 00:31:20,597
This isn't Chantelle.
669
00:31:20,969 --> 00:31:25,070
Um... this is Heather West.
I must've grabbed her phone.
670
00:31:25,073 --> 00:31:27,597
Oh. Can you give Chantelle
that message then?
671
00:31:28,658 --> 00:31:29,844
Can I ask you something, Robin?
672
00:31:29,845 --> 00:31:31,820
Was I even close to booking this?
673
00:31:31,821 --> 00:31:34,763
- 'Cause I really thought I had this one.
- You were lovely.
674
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:38,032
My "condition"?
675
00:31:38,181 --> 00:31:39,422
Your condition makes you
your nervous stomach, honey.
676
00:31:39,423 --> 00:31:40,556
If you're gonna toss your cookies
677
00:31:40,557 --> 00:31:41,993
every time you're onstage,
678
00:31:42,013 --> 00:31:44,266
maybe modeling isn't the
right career for you.
679
00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:46,969
That was one time, and I was 11.
680
00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:50,449
- What, did Chantelle tell you that, too?
- Word on the street.
681
00:31:50,597 --> 00:31:52,442
Listen, I gotta run.
682
00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:54,112
Tell Chantelle about
her appointment.
683
00:31:55,609 --> 00:32:00,164
That little conniving...
Little... cootie queen.
684
00:32:00,393 --> 00:32:03,040
- You mean your new best friend?
- "A," she lied about the job.
685
00:32:03,041 --> 00:32:04,624
Apparently,
she had it the whole time.
686
00:32:04,625 --> 00:32:07,257
And two, she told me she was
gonna put in a good word for me.
687
00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:10,004
- That word was "vomit."
- You're surprised by this?
688
00:32:10,064 --> 00:32:11,404
Yeah, I am, actually.
689
00:32:12,007 --> 00:32:13,621
How much do you think I'd
get for model murder?
690
00:32:13,817 --> 00:32:16,693
No. Don't let her know you know.
691
00:32:17,441 --> 00:32:20,469
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
692
00:32:25,809 --> 00:32:28,080
So all these weeks, you haven't
been working on my appeal.
693
00:32:28,081 --> 00:32:29,941
- That's what you're telling me?
- I started to,
694
00:32:30,568 --> 00:32:32,544
but then I had to think about
my position in the firm,
695
00:32:32,545 --> 00:32:33,623
and the fact that
my colleague's uncle
696
00:32:33,624 --> 00:32:35,268
is the judge that sentenced you.
697
00:32:35,656 --> 00:32:36,789
At the end of the day, I realized
698
00:32:36,790 --> 00:32:40,956
- that it could be too detrimental to my career.
- All right.
699
00:32:43,024 --> 00:32:43,756
"All right"?
700
00:32:45,912 --> 00:32:46,724
All right.
701
00:32:48,928 --> 00:32:50,475
Thank you for telling me in person.
702
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:52,620
That was very straight up of you.
703
00:32:58,966 --> 00:33:00,036
I wish it could be different.
704
00:33:01,318 --> 00:33:02,315
Yeah, me, too.
705
00:33:17,149 --> 00:33:17,977
Logan.
706
00:33:18,147 --> 00:33:19,123
Yeah, dad?
707
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:21,991
Don't come back here anymore.
708
00:33:23,427 --> 00:33:24,640
I don't want to see you again.
709
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:28,727
We're done.
710
00:33:50,027 --> 00:33:50,760
Penny.
711
00:33:52,022 --> 00:33:52,839
Good morning.
712
00:33:54,964 --> 00:33:56,351
Am I gonna be happy or not?
713
00:33:57,467 --> 00:33:58,824
I appreciate the offer...
714
00:33:59,675 --> 00:34:02,232
Kind of, but, uh,
the job's just not for me.
715
00:34:02,794 --> 00:34:03,784
I'm sorry to hear that.
716
00:34:04,047 --> 00:34:05,634
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna tell anybody.
717
00:34:06,068 --> 00:34:09,297
Wests don't rat. But you
probably read that in our file.
718
00:34:10,661 --> 00:34:12,688
You're passing up an
excellent opportunity.
719
00:34:13,078 --> 00:34:14,579
The job I have is fine for me.
720
00:34:15,477 --> 00:34:17,081
- Oh.
- What?
721
00:34:17,918 --> 00:34:20,712
Well, the office makeup is shifting,
as I told you.
722
00:34:20,788 --> 00:34:23,905
We're gonna need to transfer you
to our cathedral city branch.
723
00:34:24,924 --> 00:34:26,927
You're exiling me to cathedral city
724
00:34:26,928 --> 00:34:28,520
because I'm turning you down?
725
00:34:28,965 --> 00:34:30,708
Oh, I think you'll
fit in better the.
726
00:34:30,709 --> 00:34:33,592
Because the crime rate's higher
and I'll bamong my people?
727
00:34:34,058 --> 00:34:35,607
No need to get testy, Cheryl.
728
00:34:35,608 --> 00:34:36,555
Here's testy for you...
729
00:34:36,556 --> 00:34:39,370
screw cathedral city
and screw your legacy.
730
00:34:40,796 --> 00:34:44,096
- What do you have to say now?
- Obviously, you're fired.
731
00:34:45,213 --> 00:34:45,843
But before you go,
732
00:34:45,844 --> 00:34:47,493
could you tell me where you got
733
00:34:47,494 --> 00:34:50,674
that lovely cuckoo clock
in your living room?
734
00:34:51,398 --> 00:34:53,729
I've been searching
for one just like it.
735
00:34:55,206 --> 00:34:56,068
It was a gift.
736
00:35:00,512 --> 00:35:02,427
Oh, damn it.
737
00:35:37,641 --> 00:35:38,768
Sorry I don't have the keys.
738
00:35:38,769 --> 00:35:41,293
- But this gets us squared away, right?
- Oh, yeah.
739
00:35:41,512 --> 00:35:43,782
So, uh, no more honest living?
740
00:35:44,874 --> 00:35:46,839
Sometimes justice isn't legal.
741
00:35:47,451 --> 00:35:49,330
It was amazing. When I drove
out of that parking lot,
742
00:35:49,331 --> 00:35:50,862
I felt like Robin hood.
743
00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:54,814
- Steal from the bitch to give to the poor.
- Well, I, uh,
744
00:35:55,066 --> 00:35:58,073
- I'm sure she deserved it.
- Oh, she'll get a new car soon enough.
745
00:35:58,074 --> 00:35:59,781
- She's got excellent insurance.
- Yeah.
746
00:35:59,826 --> 00:36:01,551
Well, back to an honest living...
747
00:36:02,195 --> 00:36:03,310
Whatever that's gonna be.
748
00:36:04,197 --> 00:36:05,920
- Thanks, Falani.
- All right, we'll see you.
749
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,435
- What?
- What the hell did you do to me?
750
00:36:27,295 --> 00:36:28,420
What are you talking about?
751
00:36:28,614 --> 00:36:33,226
My hair is falling out!
What did you put in that shampoo?!
752
00:36:35,150 --> 00:36:36,323
I didn't do anything.
753
00:36:36,550 --> 00:36:38,806
I really wish I had, but I didn't.
754
00:36:38,807 --> 00:36:39,684
You're lying!
755
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,720
No, I'm really not... baldilocks.
756
00:36:43,859 --> 00:36:45,455
Baldy McBalderson.
757
00:36:45,644 --> 00:36:47,336
Where's Baldo?
758
00:36:54,366 --> 00:36:56,944
Oh, my gosh. It was you.
You did it.
759
00:36:57,026 --> 00:36:58,422
You balded Chantelle.
760
00:36:59,885 --> 00:37:00,648
Oh.
761
00:37:01,100 --> 00:37:03,807
Did I accidentally put the
stuff you use on your pits
762
00:37:03,808 --> 00:37:04,869
in her shampoo bottle
763
00:37:04,870 --> 00:37:06,759
before she showered at
our house this morning?
764
00:37:07,452 --> 00:37:08,368
Oops.
765
00:37:08,552 --> 00:37:11,243
Oh, my gosh, you're so sick.
I love it!
766
00:37:12,110 --> 00:37:13,979
I can't believe you would do
something like that for me.
767
00:37:13,991 --> 00:37:16,258
Hey, you're an idiot...
768
00:37:17,615 --> 00:37:18,802
T you're my idiot.
769
00:37:21,309 --> 00:37:22,313
I hate you, too.
770
00:37:25,375 --> 00:37:27,875
You want a glass of fresh
squeezed orange juice?
771
00:37:29,118 --> 00:37:30,219
Made it myself.
772
00:37:31,151 --> 00:37:31,965
Seriously?
773
00:37:32,791 --> 00:37:34,330
A busy working woman like yourself
774
00:37:34,331 --> 00:37:37,995
has time to cook bacon
and squeeze orange juice?
775
00:37:38,164 --> 00:37:39,072
Pretty impressive.
776
00:37:39,453 --> 00:37:41,249
I'm in between jobs, actually.
777
00:37:41,524 --> 00:37:43,721
Oh. What happened with
the insurance company?
778
00:37:43,919 --> 00:37:44,792
Didn't work out.
779
00:37:49,277 --> 00:37:52,231
So... what can I do for you?
780
00:37:52,844 --> 00:37:53,519
Well...
781
00:37:53,971 --> 00:37:57,019
The precinct got a call
last night about a theft.
782
00:37:57,020 --> 00:37:58,454
Some anonymous tipster
783
00:37:58,455 --> 00:38:01,415
said they have reason to believe
that you might be involved.
784
00:38:05,382 --> 00:38:06,359
Nice clock.
785
00:38:14,188 --> 00:38:16,519
Yeah, I never cared much
for birds, you know.
786
00:38:17,181 --> 00:38:19,664
Damn flying rats are always
messing up my windshield.
787
00:38:22,060 --> 00:38:22,984
I know what you mean.
788
00:38:26,660 --> 00:38:27,456
Well...
789
00:38:29,373 --> 00:38:30,328
You have a good one now.
790
00:38:31,012 --> 00:38:32,160
You, too, Detective.
791
00:38:33,068 --> 00:38:34,280
I will. I will.
792
00:38:43,715 --> 00:38:44,536
Hey there.
793
00:38:45,374 --> 00:38:46,322
What are you doing here?
794
00:38:46,534 --> 00:38:48,066
How was your day at work?
795
00:38:49,614 --> 00:38:51,213
Sighst out or I'm
calling the police.
796
00:38:51,214 --> 00:38:55,802
Oh, yes. Your very close,
good friends the police.
797
00:38:55,982 --> 00:38:58,994
- Yeah, I know you stole my car.
- You're welcome.
798
00:38:59,543 --> 00:39:01,447
Now you won't have to
hire someone to torch it
799
00:39:01,448 --> 00:39:02,609
when you get bored.
800
00:39:03,453 --> 00:39:04,258
But see,
801
00:39:05,102 --> 00:39:08,505
now it's time to talk
about what you did to me.
802
00:39:11,206 --> 00:39:12,970
You cost me my job...
803
00:39:13,510 --> 00:39:14,380
Which is okay.
804
00:39:15,165 --> 00:39:17,633
I mean, it's not great,
but I can live with that.
805
00:39:17,637 --> 00:39:18,690
I'll find another one.
806
00:39:19,485 --> 00:39:21,562
But when you send cops
807
00:39:22,391 --> 00:39:24,146
into my home...
808
00:39:26,028 --> 00:39:28,345
You're declaring war on my family.
809
00:39:29,302 --> 00:39:32,553
And that, my friend,
is a war you will lose...
810
00:39:33,165 --> 00:39:34,009
Badly...
811
00:39:34,821 --> 00:39:36,577
With lots of casualties.
812
00:39:37,397 --> 00:39:39,009
Do I make myself clear?
813
00:39:40,525 --> 00:39:41,378
Very.
814
00:39:42,301 --> 00:39:44,501
Oh, and another thing...
815
00:39:44,502 --> 00:39:46,449
my neighbor's claim?
816
00:39:46,577 --> 00:39:48,855
Remember the one that
you said was phony?
817
00:39:48,856 --> 00:39:50,858
Turns out it was real.
818
00:39:50,885 --> 00:39:53,097
So I guess the lesson here
819
00:39:53,990 --> 00:39:56,986
is that things aren't
always what they seem.
820
00:39:57,646 --> 00:39:59,771
It's a good thing to keep in mind.
821
00:40:00,349 --> 00:40:03,329
I'll be by the office
tomorrow to pick up the check.
822
00:40:04,645 --> 00:40:05,434
Oh...
823
00:40:05,807 --> 00:40:07,781
And I left you a little souvenir.
824
00:40:09,325 --> 00:40:11,098
Just a little somethin' somethin'.
825
00:40:12,990 --> 00:40:13,873
See ya.
826
00:40:35,226 --> 00:40:37,136
You're a freakin'
rock star goddess!
827
00:40:37,137 --> 00:40:39,879
Okay, I just got you what
you were entitled to.
828
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,687
Oh, God.
829
00:40:41,753 --> 00:40:45,953
But there is one itty,
bitty little string attached.
830
00:40:45,954 --> 00:40:47,582
Oh! Name it.
831
00:40:48,202 --> 00:40:49,933
You kind of suck with money...
832
00:40:50,450 --> 00:40:51,711
Tell me something I don't know.
833
00:40:51,771 --> 00:40:54,584
And I happen to have a very
good head for business,
834
00:40:54,585 --> 00:40:58,415
and I'm also in the market
for a job right now...
835
00:40:58,442 --> 00:41:00,113
- Yes.
- Yes?
836
00:41:00,114 --> 00:41:01,158
Yes.
837
00:41:01,195 --> 00:41:03,668
- Yes! Yes!
- Oh, my God!
838
00:41:03,669 --> 00:41:04,904
Oh!
839
00:41:05,108 --> 00:41:06,940
- We'll be partners.
- Okay.
840
00:41:06,941 --> 00:41:07,832
All right? All right. All ri...
841
00:41:07,833 --> 00:41:10,054
um, okay, partner. How do we start?
842
00:41:10,055 --> 00:41:12,137
Uh, we need a name
for the business...
843
00:41:12,138 --> 00:41:13,930
something that says
844
00:41:13,931 --> 00:41:16,046
big and feminine
845
00:41:16,442 --> 00:41:19,335
and lusty and beautiful.
846
00:41:20,154 --> 00:41:21,110
Oh, my gosh.
847
00:41:22,026 --> 00:41:22,957
I've got it.
848
00:41:24,665 --> 00:41:25,752
Full bloom.
849
00:41:27,187 --> 00:41:28,337
- I love it.
- Right?
850
00:41:28,338 --> 00:41:29,713
'S perfect.
851
00:41:29,714 --> 00:41:30,671
It's great!
852
00:41:30,891 --> 00:41:32,890
Okay, wait. Then we
could also have, like,
853
00:41:32,891 --> 00:41:36,288
these secret, uh,
modeling parties, right?
854
00:41:36,289 --> 00:41:37,620
- We could model the lingerie for each other.
- Mm-hmm.
855
00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:40,082
- Girls only.
- Okay.
856
00:41:40,095 --> 00:41:41,628
- And then, we could sell the lingerie...
- Wow.
857
00:41:41,629 --> 00:41:43,817
- Right?
- You are a natural at this!
858
00:41:43,852 --> 00:41:46,601
Yes. It's about damn time.
859
00:41:46,801 --> 00:41:57,001
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00:41:57,051 --> 00:42:01,601
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