Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:03,369
You can't assume too much about anything
from the outside.
2
00:00:03,501 --> 00:00:06,090
Like a house... you have
to get inside and explore.
3
00:00:06,538 --> 00:00:08,352
You never know
what you might find.
4
00:00:08,688 --> 00:00:09,743
Hey, mom, i think
that this might be
5
00:00:10,006 --> 00:00:11,359
one of our more successful
showings ever.
6
00:00:11,662 --> 00:00:14,337
I found ham and that mustard
that i love so much.
7
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,534
And as usual,
i'm doing all the work.
8
00:00:19,957 --> 00:00:21,285
You know, i should have
just left you in the car
9
00:00:21,541 --> 00:00:23,309
with some water
and cracked a window.
10
00:00:23,789 --> 00:00:25,190
Well,
i'm starving, okay?
11
00:00:25,509 --> 00:00:27,853
- We have been here all day.
- We've been here 20 minutes!
12
00:00:28,301 --> 00:00:30,957
I am just trying
to build a business
13
00:00:31,860 --> 00:00:32,741
that we can be proud of.
14
00:00:33,277 --> 00:00:35,776
But you know, i'm not angry.
I-i'm just disappointed.
15
00:00:36,357 --> 00:00:38,285
Okay. I am not 5 years old.
16
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,110
Do you really think that
that's gonna work?
17
00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:43,831
Because it's...
it's not gonna work.
18
00:00:45,688 --> 00:00:48,058
Okay, fine.
I'll try harder. God!
19
00:00:48,537 --> 00:00:49,594
You got mustard
on your face.
20
00:00:51,193 --> 00:00:52,090
Go away from me!
21
00:00:55,609 --> 00:00:56,113
Okay.
22
00:00:58,697 --> 00:01:00,705
Hello. Welcome. I'm samantha.
23
00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,035
- Would you please sign in?
- Lindsey.
24
00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:05,282
Hi.
We really like the house.
25
00:01:05,657 --> 00:01:07,449
Oh, good, good.
Let's see what we have here.
26
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,521
It's nice. It's, uh, very much
like one we're interested
27
00:01:10,786 --> 00:01:13,827
- over in elk ridge.
- Elk ridge?
28
00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,364
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
29
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,300
- You do not want to live in elk ridge.
- Why? What's wrong with elk ridge?
30
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,780
What isn't
wrong with elk ridge?
31
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:23,356
Look, lindsey,
you seem a lot like me,
32
00:01:23,724 --> 00:01:27,548
and walnut valley is really
the place for people like us.
33
00:01:28,173 --> 00:01:28,853
People like us?
34
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,612
You mean because elk ridge
is a black neighborhood?
35
00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:33,164
What? Wait. It is?
36
00:01:33,573 --> 00:01:34,969
- As if you didn't know.
- No. I...
37
00:01:35,289 --> 00:01:36,988
- people like you make me sick.
- No, i don't!
38
00:01:37,429 --> 00:01:38,700
What did... what did i do?
39
00:01:39,069 --> 00:01:40,889
- Roger?
- I don't understand what you're...
40
00:01:41,217 --> 00:01:42,234
this is my husband.
41
00:01:43,361 --> 00:01:46,579
Oh. Hi. Hello.
Look, i-i really...
42
00:01:46,963 --> 00:01:48,643
i didn't know about elk ridge.
I've never even been there.
43
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:50,547
Okay? Not that i wouldn't
go there. It's just that...
44
00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:53,234
look, i'm just trying
to sell you a house, okay?
45
00:01:53,682 --> 00:01:58,307
I mean, i love black...
african... american...
46
00:01:59,114 --> 00:02:00,187
black people.
47
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,042
You want a ham sandwich?
Wait a minute.
48
00:02:04,419 --> 00:02:06,354
Ham... that's not offensive,
is it? Right? Mom!
49
00:02:07,218 --> 00:02:08,218
I don't even
want to be doing this!
50
00:02:09,746 --> 00:02:11,611
Samantha who 212
51
00:02:11,746 --> 00:02:15,911
Synchro : Flolo
Transcript : yyets.net
52
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:19,333
They called me a racist.
53
00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:22,532
I am not racist.
I voted obama, you know?
54
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:26,633
I-i watch "oprah." My life
is full of black people.
55
00:02:26,634 --> 00:02:28,833
Mrs. Butterworth...
she's technically black.
56
00:02:28,834 --> 00:02:31,100
Do you actually know
any black people?
57
00:02:31,101 --> 00:02:34,333
I feel like i know oprah.
58
00:02:34,334 --> 00:02:37,399
So what? What, if i don't
know any black people,
59
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,432
then i'm automatically
a racist?
60
00:02:39,433 --> 00:02:42,833
It's not like you have
any black friends, right? Uh, five. No, four now.
61
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,866
Shondra and i
had a falling out
62
00:02:44,867 --> 00:02:47,367
when i didn't invite her
to my kwanzaa party, but...
63
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,666
don't look at me. I'm dating
tony dane... black and gay.
64
00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:52,566
Two birds.
Wait a minute.
65
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:55,499
Before the accident, did i do
anything that was racist?
66
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:58,300
No. A black guy,
a white guy and two asians
67
00:02:58,301 --> 00:03:00,866
were in the mailroom
one day. Okay.
68
00:03:00,867 --> 00:03:03,133
You fired them all.
69
00:03:03,134 --> 00:03:06,866
Oh. I'm sorry. I thought
you were telling me a joke.
70
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:09,532
Ooh! Andrea,
your boyfriend's on tv!
71
00:03:09,533 --> 00:03:12,200
Oh! Oh, turn it up, turn it up.
Maybe he'll mention me.
72
00:03:12,201 --> 00:03:15,033
Well, it looks like
pro basketballer tony dane
73
00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:17,833
is giving new meaning
to the term "swish."
74
00:03:17,834 --> 00:03:19,933
Caught here by paparazzi,
the great dane
75
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:22,367
is making a full-court press
76
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,033
on an unidentified
male companion.
77
00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:28,432
Representatives for dane could
not be reached for comment,
78
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:31,100
but an unnamed source
within the organization
79
00:03:31,101 --> 00:03:34,466
did confirm that thatho
was taken last night. Oh, my god. It's all over...
80
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:38,200
the private jets, thparties,
the club openings.
81
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:40,200
Oh, sweetie,
it's gonna be okay.
82
00:03:40,201 --> 00:03:43,933
I-i'm sure you'll find another
gay guy to pretend to love you.
83
00:03:43,934 --> 00:03:46,133
Not like this one.
84
00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:47,699
Hey.
85
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,033
Ms. Newly.
86
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:51,333
Frank.
87
00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:53,432
Frank! You're black!
88
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,432
Shh! Keep it quiet. I'm trying
to get off for passover.
89
00:03:56,433 --> 00:04:00,033
No! No, i thought i didn't
have any black friends,
90
00:04:00,034 --> 00:04:03,033
but you're black,
and we're friends.
91
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,933
No, ma'am.
92
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:07,633
No? 'cause you...
you seem kind of black.
93
00:04:07,634 --> 00:04:09,466
I mean we are not friends.
94
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:12,432
Of course we are.
W-we see each other every day.
95
00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:14,432
We talk. We're friends.
96
00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:18,200
What's my last name?
97
00:04:18,201 --> 00:04:20,566
It's, um...
98
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:23,333
where am i from?
What's my wife's name?
99
00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:25,532
What's my son's name?
100
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:28,200
Marcello.
Close. I don't have a son.
101
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:32,699
Fine.
I'm not sure what it is you're doing, miss newly, but don't.
102
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:36,000
Friendships grow through time
and shared experiences.
103
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,166
You carry my groceries.
104
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,100
You sign for my packages.
105
00:04:40,101 --> 00:04:43,300
I mean, if those aren't
shared experiences, then i... good night, ms. Newly.
106
00:04:43,301 --> 00:04:45,966
Samantha.
Ms. Newly.
107
00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:48,599
Frank, seriously,
you don't think we're friends?
108
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,367
Because that's
just not okay with me.
109
00:04:51,368 --> 00:04:52,966
You know what?
110
00:04:52,967 --> 00:04:57,599
I'm not gonna stop
until you and i are true-blue,
111
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,633
pick-me-up-in-the-middle-
of-the-night,
112
00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:01,833
drive-me-to-the-airport,
113
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,866
hold-my-hair-back-when-i-puke
kind of friends.
114
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:07,432
But i've already done
all those things for you.
115
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:39,900
Not as friends.
116
00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:13,932
Hey.
117
00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:16,300
Oh, hey.
Look at that on your lip.
118
00:05:16,301 --> 00:05:19,400
That's, uh, it's, uh...
oh, shoot, what is that called?
119
00:05:19,401 --> 00:05:22,266
It's, um, it's like a mustache
but not one.
120
00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:25,500
Joke all you want,
but you don't have a say in it.
121
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:32,899
You're not my girlfriend.
And apparently, you don't plan on having one.
122
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,133
Hi, frank. Wassup?
123
00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:38,667
Hey, todd,
it's my friend frank.
124
00:05:38,668 --> 00:05:41,400
Is there any reason why
you wouldn't come down
125
00:05:41,401 --> 00:05:43,966
and sign for this?
Because all the fun is up here.
126
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:46,133
Come on. Join us.
We've got food,
127
00:05:46,134 --> 00:05:49,099
and we have fun.
We got frank. It's "f" day.
128
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:52,999
I can think of many other words
that begin with "f,"
129
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,700
but i'd get fired.
"Fired"... there's another "f."
130
00:05:55,701 --> 00:05:57,400
Sam?
Yeah?
131
00:05:57,401 --> 00:06:00,667
You didn't order
my black bean sauce again. I'm sorry.
132
00:06:00,668 --> 00:06:02,667
You always make sure
your order's right,
133
00:06:02,668 --> 00:06:05,133
but you never think of me.
I always think of you.
134
00:06:05,134 --> 00:06:08,799
Mm.
I just think of myself first. Some people find that adorable.
135
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,366
Well, frank doesn't.
He'll come around.
136
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:13,999
He won't come around. He doesn't
want to be your friend. Yeah, well, you know what?
137
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,700
He also didn't want to drag out
our dead christmas tree,
138
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:19,832
but he did that.
I'll wear him down. Why is this your project?
139
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,832
Because for
the last two years,
140
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,832
i have been walking
past that man,
141
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,300
and i know nothing about him.
What does that say about me?
142
00:06:26,301 --> 00:06:28,633
Exactly. About you.
143
00:06:28,634 --> 00:06:31,033
You want more friends?
144
00:06:31,034 --> 00:06:34,400
Maybe think of their needs,
what they want. You know what? You're right.
145
00:06:34,401 --> 00:06:36,767
And what frank wants
is to be left alone.
146
00:06:36,768 --> 00:06:43,533
I'm gonna bake him a pie.
147
00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:48,233
♪ my friend frank ♪
148
00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:53,433
♪ how are you tonight? ♪
149
00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:57,199
oh, hi. Can you please hold
this for a second, please? Give me the purse.
150
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,899
No, i've got the purse fine.
Just... can you hold the pie? Give me the purse. Hurry up.
151
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,767
What? Oh, no.
Come on. No.
152
00:07:02,768 --> 00:07:05,333
I can't have you
do this right now. Oh, when would be
153
00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:07,500
No, you don't understand
what i'm going through,
154
00:07:07,501 --> 00:07:10,333
and i really... i cannot
have you reinforcing
155
00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:12,433
a racial stereotype, okay?
I'm really sorry.
156
00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,700
You know, if you can't look
past the color of my skin
157
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,700
and see me as a man
stealing your purse,
158
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:19,266
i feel sorry for you.
How about this... give me your address,
159
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:23,366
and then i'll send you
something later? Okay, uh, it's 4-2-2...
160
00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:25,366
What? No!
I just got the... but i...
161
00:07:25,367 --> 00:07:28,700
there's a card in there
for fra... for frank.
162
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:30,767
Hello, andrea.
163
00:07:30,768 --> 00:07:32,633
Hello, gin.
164
00:07:32,634 --> 00:07:35,099
Andrea, it's me.
Heard about tony.
165
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,133
You passed on
a relationship with me
166
00:07:37,134 --> 00:07:38,999
to be with a gay guy.
167
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,966
Believe me, that's the least
of the reasons i passed on you.
168
00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,966
Wow, it must be rough knowing
you turned a guy gay.
169
00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:47,966
I didn't turn anyone gay.
Hey, i'm not judging, okay?
170
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,700
In fact, i'm willing
to let you try it out on me. Tony was already gay.
171
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:54,199
He asked me to pretend
to be his girlfriend.
172
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,700
Okay, so what was
in it for you? What do you think?
173
00:07:57,701 --> 00:08:00,166
The limos, the parties,
174
00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:02,533
photographs in "us" weekly.
175
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:05,199
I was so airbrushed
and pretty...
176
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,033
and happy.
177
00:08:07,034 --> 00:08:08,700
And now it's all gone.
178
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,667
I'm meeting
with his people tomorrow
179
00:08:10,668 --> 00:08:12,667
so they can give me
the big kiss-off.
180
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:15,166
I think i'm gonna miss
the airbrushing the most.
181
00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:17,333
Man, you are so afraid
to be with someone.
182
00:08:17,334 --> 00:08:19,866
What are you talkin' about...
afraid?
183
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,099
Of being seen by someone
who sees what you need
184
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,033
and can really
give it to you...
185
00:08:25,034 --> 00:08:27,366
to take you in his arms
186
00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:48,733
and really, truly love you.
187
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:51,866
You want your olive back?
188
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,932
Frank, you didn't have
to call the police.
189
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,866
I only told you
that i got mugged
190
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:58,199
because i needed a ride home.
I want this guy caught.
191
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,600
My family lives
in this neighborhood.
192
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:02,600
You do not live
in this neighborhood.
193
00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:06,199
What are you doing
in this neighborhood? You're welcome
194
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,199
What a nice friend.
I did not ask you for pie.
195
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,533
I did not ask you for balloons.
I did not ask to be your friend.
196
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:15,033
You're talking like
a dr. Seuss character.
197
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:19,033
Just a little bit.
Look, why don't we both just admit what this is all about?
198
00:09:19,034 --> 00:09:21,533
What?
You're only pursuing this so you can ease your guilt
199
00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:24,300
about not having
a black friend. No, that is not true!
200
00:09:24,301 --> 00:09:27,300
I just want to be your friend,
frank. Period.
201
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:29,166
It's not about color.
202
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:31,966
That is everybody else's
hang-up. I have no guilt.
203
00:09:31,967 --> 00:09:35,366
Okay?
Thank you for coming, officers.
204
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,099
This here is ms. Newly,
the victim. Yeah.
205
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:41,600
Hello, ma'am. Can you tell us
what your attacker looked like? Hi.
206
00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:49,066
Yeah. He... he, um...
207
00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:51,566
white guy.
208
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,700
Very white.
209
00:09:53,701 --> 00:10:28,832
Blindingly so. Yeah.
210
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:01,499
Morning, frank.
211
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:05,966
Uh, could you... could you
call me a cab to my mom's house?
212
00:10:05,967 --> 00:10:10,166
I'm sorry. Todd is still
picking up my car at your house.
213
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,200
And he's just taking forever.
214
00:10:12,201 --> 00:10:14,200
He thinks
it's really funny
215
00:10:14,201 --> 00:10:17,499
to change all my radio stations
to gospel.
216
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,633
♪ hallelujah! ♪
217
00:10:20,634 --> 00:10:22,599
sorry.
218
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,166
Thank you for the pie.
219
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,100
Oh. You're welcome.
220
00:10:28,101 --> 00:10:29,866
Was it good?
221
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,866
The important thing is
you were reaching out,
222
00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,666
and i'm sorry.
223
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,833
I've become accustomed
to shutting people out.
224
00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:39,566
To your offer of kindness,
225
00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:42,000
then you wouldn't have
needed to go to my home,
226
00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:44,333
and you wouldn't
have been attacked.
227
00:10:44,334 --> 00:10:46,432
Did you try the pie?
228
00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:49,000
The important thing is...
229
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:49,633
if you still want
to be friends,
230
00:10:49,634 --> 00:10:51,432
que seamos amigos.
231
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:54,300
I suppose that would be okay,
ms. Newly.
232
00:10:54,301 --> 00:10:57,367
Thok..
233
00:10:57,368 --> 00:10:59,100
what?
234
00:10:59,101 --> 00:11:01,100
Samantha.
235
00:11:01,101 --> 00:11:03,699
Yay!
Oh! No, no. Get off of me. No. Come on.
236
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,499
Oh, yes. I'm gonna grab...
237
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:10,133
so... mr. Tony dane couldn't
be bothered to show up, huh?
238
00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:12,766
Fine. Let's do this.
239
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:15,133
First, i get to keep
all the gifts.
240
00:11:15,134 --> 00:11:17,333
Second, i still want
to go to the grammys.
241
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:20,699
I was looking forward to that.
And i don't care how
242
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,966
you arrange it, but i want
to meet tiger woods,
243
00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:25,966
james gandolfini
and captain jack sparrow. Are you finished?
244
00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:28,466
And i want to carry
the olympic torch. Okay, now.
245
00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:30,432
Here's our counteroffer.
246
00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:33,100
Andrea belladonna,
247
00:11:33,101 --> 00:11:41,532
will you marry tony dane?
248
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:44,666
Hey. Hey!
Where's your hideous red coat?
249
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:47,333
If i have to wear
the hideous red coat, so do you.
250
00:11:47,334 --> 00:11:50,466
The showing has been cancelled.
The sellers fired us. What? Why?
251
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:53,233
Remember the potential buyers...
that couple you insulted?
252
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:55,233
Well, they apparently
own the hottest
253
00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:57,233
new steak house in town,
and they're telling
254
00:11:57,234 --> 00:12:00,000
all their customers
that we're a racist company. What?
255
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,532
Oh, and two other clients
have fired us.
256
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:03,900
Okay, well, you know what?
You can't blame that on me,
257
00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:07,766
'cause there could be a million
reasons why they fired us.
258
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:13,166
First of all, you know,
we're not very good. You are going to convince that
259
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,200
unless, i don't know,
maybe you really are.
260
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,566
Oh.
I mean, when you were a baby,
261
00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:20,066
you cried all the way
through "the jeffersons." Mom!
262
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:23,432
And you don't have
any black friends. Uh, yes, i do.
263
00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:28,000
I have frank. If they
could see that, then...
264
00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,100
this is a real nice
steak house. Mm-hmm
265
00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:33,432
thank you for inviting me.
Yeah. Yeah, sure. You know, when you do real estate,
266
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:35,267
you don't just
know about houses.
267
00:12:35,268 --> 00:12:37,300
You know about steak houses,
you know?
268
00:12:37,301 --> 00:12:40,766
Oh, excuse me, miss. Um, hi.
Can i please talk to the owners?
269
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:44,166
I, um, i don't like my steak,
so... i'm sorry.
270
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:48,033
No. I'll eat it. I just need
to... just need to tell someone. Okay, i'll get the chef.
271
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:51,066
Oh, no. No, no, no.
272
00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,866
I need to talk
to the owners. Okay, i'll see what i can do.
273
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:55,666
No.
Skirt.
274
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,666
All right, thanks.
275
00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:00,200
This is fun, huh?
It is.
276
00:13:00,201 --> 00:13:02,866
I'll admit as a rule
i try to avoid being
277
00:13:02,867 --> 00:13:05,699
someone's first black friend.
They try too hard.
278
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,766
They start talking
about halle berry,
279
00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:10,799
how they voted for obama,
how much they love oprah.
280
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,333
Yeah.
Where are those owners?
281
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:16,799
Hello. I understand someone
wanted to speak with the o...
282
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,566
you.
283
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:20,367
You own this place?
284
00:13:20,368 --> 00:13:23,233
I didn't know that.
I love it. I love it.
285
00:13:23,234 --> 00:13:26,633
So does my friend frank here.
This is frank.
286
00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:29,233
Ah. Your friend frank.
Yeah.
287
00:13:29,234 --> 00:13:32,900
Yeah. So now i guess we can just
stop all that jibber-jabbering
288
00:13:32,901 --> 00:13:36,466
about who my friends are.
Oh, right, because you thought showing up
289
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,966
with a black friend
would stop us from reporting
290
00:13:38,967 --> 00:13:41,333
your racist company
to the real estate board?
291
00:13:41,334 --> 00:13:42,833
Pardon me?
292
00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:44,100
Whoa, whoa. Hey.
293
00:13:44,101 --> 00:13:46,566
Just because frank here
might be black...
294
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:49,432
i mean, is he? I don't know.
Are you black?
295
00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:51,933
'cause i don't even
see color at all...
296
00:13:51,934 --> 00:13:54,733
does not mean that
he is not my actual friend.
297
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,300
Okay?
298
00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:58,766
Please, frank, tell her.
299
00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:01,300
Yes, ma'am!
300
00:14:01,301 --> 00:14:04,399
Why, miss samantha here...
she been real good to me.
301
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,666
See what i'm talk... what?
Oh, yes, yes!
302
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,666
You see, lots of people,
303
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,367
they don't take they doorman
out for no fancy meal.
304
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:15,933
But miss samantha here... she
don't mind eatin' with the help!
305
00:14:15,934 --> 00:14:18,866
He's your doorman?
No!
306
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:22,367
He... he's not just my doorman.
307
00:14:22,368 --> 00:14:24,367
Oh, no! No, ma'am!
308
00:14:24,368 --> 00:14:26,933
Why, i also carry her thangs
to and fro.
309
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:31,766
Why, she a real nice lady.
310
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:37,300
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
311
00:14:37,301 --> 00:14:41,399
First of all,
dinner's on me.
312
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,666
I... frank, come on.
313
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,666
Frank, please come back!
314
00:14:45,667 --> 00:15:00,200
Look, we... we've preordered
the soufflé!
315
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,699
So now frank thinks
that i was using him
316
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,333
just to prove that i had...
a black friend. Which you were.
317
00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:57,733
No, i was not!
318
00:14:57,734 --> 00:15:01,333
I only used him after we had
already become friends, okay?
319
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,766
And then, yes,
i behaved very badly.
320
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,733
You know, i don't think
he's a good influence on me.
321
00:15:06,734 --> 00:15:09,599
I might have to cut him
out of my life. So that's it?
322
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,466
You're not gonna even try
to be friends with him? What am i supposed to do?
323
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:15,300
Quitter.
He doesn't want it.
324
00:15:15,301 --> 00:15:17,966
He hasn't even filed
a restraining order yet.
325
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:20,133
I mean, i waited 20 years
to be your friend.
326
00:15:20,134 --> 00:15:22,699
You put up a fight,
but look where we are w.
327
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,367
Yep, here we are.
328
00:15:25,368 --> 00:15:27,866
I mean, you'd be amazed
at the beautiful friendships
329
00:15:27,867 --> 00:15:30,566
you can force on people.
Wow.
330
00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:33,833
Hi!
So what are you two losers doing in three months?
331
00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:36,333
Because i'm...
getting married!
332
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:39,066
What? Oh, my god!
Married to whom?
333
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:42,066
To... to whom.
Tony dane. What do you think?
334
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:45,699
What do i think?
I think he's gay. He's really gay, andrea.
335
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:48,532
And i think i've waited my
entire life to tell my friends
336
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,900
that i'm engaged.
So if you would just put aside
337
00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:56,200
the pesky details for one night
and just get on board, okay?
338
00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:58,733
Yay!
Yay!
339
00:15:58,734 --> 00:16:02,133
Oh, my god. Let me see that.
It is stunning. It's so pretty!
340
00:16:02,134 --> 00:16:04,432
See, tony's entering
a contract year,
341
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:06,532
and they don't want
any bad press.
342
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,699
So they're gonna announce
the engagement,
343
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,566
and then all the designers
are gonna bid to see who's gonna
344
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:14,666
make my dress, and the wedding
photos are already presold
345
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:17,267
to "people" magazine,
and they're paying gwen stefani
346
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:20,766
100 grand to show up
and be my best friend. It's like a fairy tale.
347
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:23,233
I know.
I'll get us some champagne. Oh. Good. Okay.
348
00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:26,900
Se she called me a friend.
That didn't happen overnight.
349
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:29,133
Yeah, well, she's also
marrying a gay dude,
350
00:16:29,134 --> 00:16:31,233
so she might not be
in her right mind.
351
00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:34,300
Three champagnes.
I'm engaged.
352
00:16:34,301 --> 00:16:38,799
What about the other night?
353
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,300
Did you not just hear
what i said? I'm engaged.
354
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,233
You felt something
between us,
355
00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:46,966
and i know you
weren't that drunk.
356
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:58,833
Little tip... don't ever
underestimate how drunk i am.
357
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:07,367
You don't fool me.
358
00:17:07,368 --> 00:17:09,866
I think i know
the answer to this.
359
00:17:09,867 --> 00:17:12,833
But do you care that i have
a little girl in here
360
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:16,300
who's trying to sleep?
She'll be fine. "Marceo" will take care of her.
361
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,399
If you came here
to apologize...
362
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,333
no. For wanting
to be your friend? No.
363
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,300
Am i perfect, frank? No.
364
00:17:23,301 --> 00:17:25,399
But we don't get
to choose our friends.
365
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,733
I mean, do you really think
that i chose dena and andrea?
366
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:30,833
But there we are.
367
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:33,799
It's late, ms. Newly.
Samantha.
368
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,799
Ms. Newly. We're going back
to the way things were before.
369
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,766
Before dinner?
370
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,333
Before your accident,
when you were as mean as a snake
371
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:44,499
and never gave me a glance.
I didn't have to know you.
372
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,666
I didn't have to care
about you.
373
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:50,133
Aha! You said "care." I heard
it, frank. You said "care."
374
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:52,233
Let's go.
Give me the money.
375
00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:55,333
Oh, this is ridiculous.
Seriously, guy, branch out.
376
00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:58,267
Meet new people.
Oh, damn.
377
00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:00,966
It's the chatty white lady
with no money in her purse
378
00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:04,933
is this the man
who mugged you? How can you have $5
379
00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:07,633
You lied to the police.
380
00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:09,633
Maybe.
But hey, you know what?
381
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:11,633
If i had told them
who my real mugger was,
382
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:14,367
we wouldn't be
sharing this right now. Yeah, i'm aware of that.
383
00:18:14,368 --> 00:18:16,367
Shared experiences,
frank. Remember?
384
00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:19,166
Plus you care about me.
You know what?
385
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:22,532
If this guy shot me
right here and now,
386
00:18:22,533 --> 00:18:27,066
you would miss me.
Hey, oh. Well, hey, who's got a gun? Not me.
387
00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:29,300
That's... that's armed robbery...
whole different thing.
388
00:18:29,301 --> 00:18:31,333
Just say it, frank.
389
00:18:31,334 --> 00:18:33,499
Tell you what.
I'll close my eyes right now.
390
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,367
You kidnap my friend...
391
00:18:35,368 --> 00:18:38,599
and if anybody asks,
i'll say it was a white guy.
392
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,367
Now why are you talkin'
about kidnappin'?
393
00:18:41,368 --> 00:18:43,966
Excuse me. Hello?
394
00:18:43,967 --> 00:18:47,499
Oh! It's the police.
395
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,900
They found my mugger.
396
00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:52,866
Hey, forget this.
I'd rather just get a job.
397
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:55,766
Um, are you...
are you sure it's... it's him?
398
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:57,833
'cause my description
was sort of vague...
399
00:18:57,834 --> 00:19:01,300
and useless.
400
00:19:01,301 --> 00:19:04,933
So, ma'am, just tell us
if the man who robbed you
401
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:17,532
is inside this room.
Mm. Yeah, okay.
402
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,666
Wait a minute.
403
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:22,699
They can't... they can't
really see me, right? Why, do you see...
404
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,799
'cause we caught one of them
breaking into your car
405
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,766
with your keys.
406
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:29,933
Hey, todd, seriously,
i am so sorry. All right?
407
00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:32,933
Look, i-i'll bet you soon
we'll... we'll tell this story,
408
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:37,466
and we'll just
laugh and laugh. Yeah. What was
409
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,733
Huh?
Mine was the delousing.
410
00:19:39,734 --> 00:19:42,933
Look, i'm sorry, okay?
I-i had to come up with
411
00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:45,933
something really quickly,
and i guess i just described
412
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,100
the first guy i thought of.
Really?
413
00:19:48,101 --> 00:19:51,267
Yeah. What?
414
00:19:51,268 --> 00:19:53,432
I was the first guy
you thought of.
415
00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:55,900
Oh, don't get all cocky.
416
00:19:55,901 --> 00:19:58,267
Am i always the first guy
you think of...
417
00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:00,066
like in the morning,
when you wake up?
418
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,432
This... you know what?
Shut up.
419
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:05,066
It was probably just that
stupid little ratty "mustache."
420
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:08,133
Well, i'll grow it in some more
if you like it so much.
421
00:20:08,134 --> 00:20:12,166
Yeah, okay, you do that.
I'll see you in six months. You can't even
422
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,300
Should have had them
put you away.
423
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:20,367
Ohh. That was almost
worth getting tasered.
424
00:20:20,368 --> 00:20:23,399
Okay, so anyway,
here's how to cure racism,
425
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,233
and i want credit.
426
00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:27,466
If everyone on earth
just looks into the eyes
427
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,799
of every other person,
we'll all be friends,
428
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,000
and there will be no racism.
429
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:34,666
Of course, the logistics
will be a nightmare
430
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:37,166
and require exceptional
organizational skills.
431
00:20:37,167 --> 00:20:39,666
Maybe the chinese can do it.
432
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:42,200
Hey!
Hey.
433
00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:45,466
We're friends now, right?
Yes, absolutely!
434
00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:48,233
Good.
What?
435
00:20:48,234 --> 00:20:52,766
I need you to cover for me.
My band has a gig tonight. Oh!
436
00:20:52,767 --> 00:20:55,367
♪ the color of
your skin don't matter to me ♪
437
00:20:55,368 --> 00:20:57,300
can you call me a cab?
438
00:20:57,301 --> 00:21:01,066
♪ as long as we can live
in harmony ♪
439
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:04,532
♪ why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends? ♪
440
00:21:04,533 --> 00:21:06,001
♪ why can't we... ♪
441
00:21:06,051 --> 00:21:10,601
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35103
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
