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Busy day ahead of you, Mr Rumpole?
3
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:44,489
Open just a little wider.
4
00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:47,174
What terrible crime are we on today?
5
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,774
(Makes indistinct sounds)
6
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:53,936
My old lady? You mean Yolanda?
7
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:57,615
I'm not sure
she'd be too keen on being called that.
8
00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:00,214
(Indistinct sounds)
9
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:05,699
Did something to her back... playing golf.
10
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:09,535
Of course, golf covers
a multitude of sins, hmm?
11
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:14,899
Especially for the ladies
of Hampstead Garden Suburb.
12
00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:19,536
Bite together.
13
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,336
Rinse now, please.
14
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:25,572
- What were we talking about?
- Manslaughter.
15
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:29,858
Not really. Yolanda can be
extremely irritating at times,
16
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:33,569
but I've never felt the need
to bash her over the head.
17
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,891
No, I was talking about my case
down the Bailey.
18
00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:40,939
My client, a man called Tong,
is accused of manslaughter.
19
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:45,298
Killed his wife, Mrs Tong.
She fell, hit her head on the fender.
20
00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:48,770
How fascinating.
I've only done a temporary job.
21
00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:53,695
Give me a ring if you have any trouble.
It should see you through the day.
22
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:58,138
It might take more than a temporary job
to see me through the day.
23
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:02,532
I am before Mr Justice OIlie Oliphant.
24
00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,014
Ow!
25
00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:32,136
Oh, sorry, Rumpole.
26
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,417
Oh, I do apologise. "Sorry, Rumpole."
27
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:41,858
Miss Probert bashes into you,
nearly knocks everything flying
28
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:45,490
and all she says is "Sorry, Rumpole"
on the trot! Ow!
29
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,456
"Sorry, Rumpole.
30
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,939
"Sorry for sending your client to chokey,
31
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:59,173
"sorry for not letting you see
all the prosecution statements,
32
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:04,698
"sorry for treading on your foot on the
Circle Line, sorry for pinching your..."
33
00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:12,368
- Have you pinched my bands, Inchcape?
- Sorry, Rumpole?
34
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,690
You have. Honestly, Inchcape!
35
00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:19,456
This barristers' robing room is
little better than a den of thieves!
36
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:23,169
These are my bands.
There are some bands on the table.
37
00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,695
Slightly soiled. Probably yours.
38
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:31,014
"Slightly soiled? Probably yours?
Sorry, Rumpole?" They are not mine!
39
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,179
Well, sorry, whoever they do belong to.
40
00:04:36,340 --> 00:04:40,936
The bloody man's presumably got mine
anyway! Sorry, whoever you are!
41
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:44,934
Hello, Erskine-Brown.
What are you sorry about?
42
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:50,128
I'm not sorry about anything. I meant
to ask you about calling your client.
43
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:53,258
- Mr Tong?
- Yes. Are you calling him?
44
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:57,971
That's an easy one. I'm calling him
Mr Tong because that's his name.
45
00:04:58,140 --> 00:05:00,700
Will you call him into the witness box?
46
00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:06,014
I have to do this murder in Lewes. One
has so many demands, now one's in silk.
47
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,934
If you're not calling him,
maybe we could finish today?
48
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:14,298
Are those my bands you're wearing?
What's that written on them?
49
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:18,135
- "CEB." Claude Erskine-Brown.
- When did you write that?
50
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:21,849
Oh, really, Rumpole!
Are you calling your client?
51
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:24,896
Wait and see.
52
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:29,295
- He's not in a good mood.
- We collided at the entrance.
53
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,416
He didn't even say sorry.
54
00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:43,729
Hold the Bible in your right hand
and read from the card.
55
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,856
"I swear by...
56
00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:52,097
"...that the evidence I give
shall be the truth, the whole truth,
57
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,216
"and nothing but the truth."
58
00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:58,168
Mr Rumpole, your client's left something
out of the oath.
59
00:05:58,340 --> 00:06:02,379
- So I noticed, my lord.
- See to it. Use your common sense!
60
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,179
Mr Tong, who is it that you swear by?
61
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:09,128
One I would not drag down
to the level of this place, sir.
62
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:13,009
What's he mean?
"Drag down to the level of this place?"
63
00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:15,136
What's he mean by that?
64
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:19,657
I think he means, my lord, that
the Almighty may not wish to be seen
65
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:22,288
in Court Number 4 at the Old Bailey.
66
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:26,692
Are you saying my court
isn't good enough for God? Is that it?
67
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:31,650
I'm saying, my lord, that this court
is a place of sin and worldliness
68
00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:36,177
and we should not involve
a certain person in these proceedings.
69
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:39,537
May I remind your lordship
of the Book of Ezekiel?
70
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:44,376
"And it shall be unto them a false
divination to them that has sworn oaths!"
71
00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:47,179
Never mind about the Book of Ezekiel.
72
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,729
Mr Rumpole,
can't you control your client?
73
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:54,132
Unfortunately, no. Perhaps
your lordship would have more luck.
74
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:59,090
The first thing we learnt at the Bar
was how to control our clients.
75
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:04,414
It's a pity you weren't brought up in
common-sensical chambers in the north.
76
00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:10,655
Yes, I might have acquired some of
your lordship's charm and polish.
77
00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,253
Yes...
78
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,172
Now, let's use our common sense
about this.
79
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:21,891
Mr Tong, do you understand what it is
to tell the truth?
80
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:25,894
I've always told the truth
in my 30 years in the ministry.
81
00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:29,291
Is your client a man of the cloth,
Mr Rumpole?
82
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:33,419
I think he means the Ministry
of Agriculture and Fisheries
83
00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:36,140
where he was a clerk for many years.
84
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:39,736
- You know what it is to tell the truth?
- Yes.
85
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:44,849
There, members of the jury. That's
the way to do it. Let's get on, shall we?
86
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:48,137
I assure your lordship I can't wait.
87
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,335
Ow!
88
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:54,698
- Are you all right, Mr Rumpole?
- It's this temporary stopping.
89
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:57,420
Why are you stopping, Mr Rumpole?
90
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:59,536
Why can't he shut up?
91
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:03,056
Mr Tong, you were married
to the late Sarah Tong?
92
00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:05,780
On the 13th of March, 1950,
93
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:09,137
in what was then the village of Pinner.
94
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:13,452
The weather, as I remember it,
was particularly inclement.
95
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:17,738
- Dark skies and a snow flurry.
- Never mind about the weather.
96
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:22,257
I took it as a portent of storms to come,
my lord.
97
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:25,810
Just tell the jury of your married life.
98
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:30,451
It is only with the greatest respect
and due deference
99
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:33,737
that I adopt the words
of the Book of Proverbs.
100
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:37,859
Your lordship is no doubt familiar
with Chapter 21.
101
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:42,377
"It is better to dwell
in a corner of the housetop
102
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:46,135
"than with a brawling woman
in a wide house.
103
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,894
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness
104
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:52,132
"than with a contentious
and an angry woman."
105
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:04,575
(Plays classical music)
106
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:16,495
- It's about Rumpole.
- I thought it must be.
107
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:20,289
- He gets so tired.
- So does Guthrie.
108
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:24,499
- Rumpole needs a rest.
- I don't think Guthrie needs that.
109
00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:28,539
He needs something to jolt him
into some sort of activity.
110
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,168
- I mean at night.
- I mean at night too!
111
00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:34,013
All day he's doing such exciting things,
112
00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:39,254
dressing up in funny costumes, sending
people to prison, all that nonsense,
113
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:42,412
but when he gets home,
he's flat as a pancake.
114
00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:46,654
Is Rumpole flat as a pancake too?
115
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:50,256
- Well, no, not exactly.
- Lucky you!
116
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:53,571
- Lucky?
- You mean he actually does something?
117
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:59,656
No, nothing in particular. He drinks
his claret, if you can call it claret.
118
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:04,132
He's so irritable and he's had
terrible trouble with his teeth.
119
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:08,452
If only Rumpole could get a job
sitting down!
120
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:13,175
- Like a clerk or something?
- Something like a judge.
121
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:17,253
- Really?
- Well, I don't mean a red judge.
122
00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:20,412
Not a really posh judge like Guthrie, no.
123
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:23,890
A circus judge.
That's what Rumpole calls them.
124
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:26,574
Guthrie knows such important people!
125
00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:30,449
- I suppose I might ask.
- Oh, Marigold, would you?
126
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:35,136
Rumpole would be better tempered
if only he were a sitting judge.
127
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:40,533
This is intolerable. We've been through
half the Old Testament! For God's sake!
128
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,260
- My lord!
- All right, for all our sakes!
129
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:48,369
When are we going to come
to the facts of this manslaughter?
130
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,770
Mr Tong...
131
00:10:50,940 --> 00:10:53,818
on the night this ACCIDENT occurred...
132
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:58,019
That's for the jury to decide.
Why do you call it an accident?
133
00:10:58,180 --> 00:11:01,252
Why did your lordship call it
manslaughter?
134
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:03,854
Surely that is for the jury to decide!
135
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:07,092
Did I say that, Mr Erskine-Brown?
136
00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:11,139
Yes. I thought you were joining
the prosecution team!
137
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,737
Or was that a single-handed effort
to prejudice the jury?
138
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:24,288
Mr Rumpole, that was
a quite intolerable thing to say.
139
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:27,736
My lord, that was
a quite intolerable thing to do!
140
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:30,334
I may have had a slip of the tongue.
141
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:35,620
Or your lordship's well-known
common sense may have deserted him.
142
00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:39,056
Mr Rumpole,
I think you should be warned.
143
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:42,178
One of these days you may go too far.
144
00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:45,096
Now, can we get on?
145
00:11:45,260 --> 00:11:47,216
Certainly, my lord.
146
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:51,817
I did not wish to interrupt the flow
of your lordship's rebuke!
147
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:57,578
Mr Tong, on the night in question,
did you and your wife quarrel?
148
00:11:57,740 --> 00:12:01,289
- As per usual.
- What was the subject of the quarrel?
149
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:06,409
She accused me of being overly
familiar with a near neighbour.
150
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:09,378
A certain Mrs Grabowicz, my lord.
151
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:13,772
A lady of Polish extraction
whose deceased husband had,
152
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:18,775
by a curious coincidence, been
a colleague of mine in the Ministry of...
153
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:24,378
Mr Tong! Forget the neighbour's
deceased husband, if you'd be so kind!
154
00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:27,259
What did your wife do?
155
00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:33,529
She ran at me with her nails poised as
though to scratch me across the face,
156
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,339
as it was often her habit so to do.
157
00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:39,614
However, as ill luck would have it,
158
00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:43,819
the runner in front of the gas fire
slipped beneath her feet
159
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,289
and she... she fell.
160
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:52,493
As she did so, the back of her head
made contact with the raised tiling
161
00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:56,289
in front of our hearth
and she received the injuries
162
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,815
that caused her to pass over.
163
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:03,371
Mr Rumpole, is that the version
of this lady's death
164
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,690
you wish to leave with the jury?
165
00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:07,930
Certainly, my lord.
166
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:12,889
Does your lordship wish
to pre-judge the issue?
167
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:16,689
Are we to have
a little premature adjudication?
168
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:21,172
Mr Rumpole, I've warned you once.
I shall not warn you again.
169
00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:23,774
- I'm looking at the clock.
- So I see.
170
00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:29,333
We'll break off there. Back
at ten past two, members of the jury.
171
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:33,095
I understand you're on bail.
Is Mr Tong on bail?
172
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:36,696
- He is, my lord.
- You're giving your evidence.
173
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:41,775
It's vital that you speak to no one
about this case during the adjournment
174
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:46,377
and that nobody speaks to you,
particularly your legal advisers.
175
00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:49,373
Is that understood, Mr Rumpole?
176
00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:52,657
Naturally. I do know the rules, my lord.
177
00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:57,330
I hope you do, Mr Rumpole.
I sincerely hope you do.
178
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,855
(Clerk) Court be upstanding!
179
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:06,728
(Rumpole) Listen!
Is this damn thing going to last for ever?
180
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:09,539
Get on with it! You're driving me mad!
181
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,931
Talk, that's all you do,
you boring old fart!
182
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:18,049
I've got enough trouble with the judge
without you causing me all this agony.
183
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:23,499
Get it out, short and snappy. Put us out
of our misery. Get it out, then shut up!
184
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:30,059
- Have a good lunch, Rumpole?
- No, I have not had a good lunch.
185
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:32,529
I have not had any lunch at all!
186
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:36,056
Hmm... I suppose
you were too busy talking!
187
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:43,294
Mr Tong, did you ever intend
to do your wife the slightest harm?
188
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:46,490
- No.
- Did you strike her?
189
00:14:46,660 --> 00:14:49,174
- No.
- Did you assault her in any way?
190
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:51,808
- No.
- No. Thank you.
191
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:57,179
Just wait there in case Mr Erskine-Brown
can think of something to ask you.
192
00:14:58,460 --> 00:15:02,419
You've become monosyllabic
since lunch, Mr Tong.
193
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:04,730
Perhaps it's something he ate!
194
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:08,688
It's nothing you ate,
as your learned counsel suggests.
195
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:11,533
It's something Mr Rumpole said to you.
196
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:14,168
When did Mr Rumpole speak to him?
197
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:17,298
During the luncheon adjournment,
my lord.
198
00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:22,299
- Erskine-Brown!
- Be quiet for a moment, Mr Rumpole.
199
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:26,897
Did I not give a solemn warning
that no one was to speak to Mr Tong
200
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,574
and he was to speak to no one?
201
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:33,096
You did, my lord.
That was why I was so surprised
202
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:35,820
when I heard Mr Rumpole quite clearly.
203
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:39,814
Yet you heard Mr Rumpole speaking
to the defendant Tong?
204
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:43,416
- I'm afraid so, my lord.
- Go on, Claude.
205
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:47,619
Really? And what did he say?
206
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:52,615
He told Mr Tong he did nothing but talk
and he was to get on with it.
207
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:55,897
And he was to get it out
and make it snappy.
208
00:15:56,060 --> 00:16:00,099
Oh, yes, and he told Mr Tong
he was a boring old fart.
209
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:04,094
- A boring old what, Mr Erskine-Brown?
- Fart, my lord.
210
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:07,138
He's not the only one round here either.
211
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:12,454
Well, Mr Rumpole, what have you got to
say to Mr Erskine-Brown's accusation?
212
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:15,293
- Nothing, my lord.
- Nothing?
213
00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:18,536
Absolutely nothing.
214
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:22,739
You don't deny that what
Mr Erskine-Brown has said is true?
215
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:25,368
I neither accept it nor deny it.
216
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:30,851
It is an outrageous suggestion
from an incompetent advocate!
217
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:35,059
Apart from that, I don't feel called upon
to make any comment.
218
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,370
I take it that I am not on trial?
219
00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:41,692
Not at the moment.
I can't answer for the Bar Council.
220
00:16:41,860 --> 00:16:47,298
Then I suggest we concentrate
on the trial of Mr Tong, and forget mine!
221
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:52,975
Why did you have to do that, Claude?
222
00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:57,975
My cross-examination of Mr Tong?
I got the judge on my side immediately.
223
00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:02,577
Yes, and put the jury on Rumpole's side.
Mr Tong was acquitted.
224
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:07,291
Win a few, lose a few. That's par
for the course if you're a busy silk.
225
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:11,499
- What's it to be? A dry white?
- Why did you do that to Rumpole?
226
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:16,290
He shouldn't have talked to his client
while he was still in the box.
227
00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:20,578
Two dry whites. Something
from the Loire, a Pouilly-Fum�?
228
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,696
Are you sure that he did?
229
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:26,739
I heard him with my own ears.
You don't think I'd lie to you?
230
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:30,609
Didn't you lie to your wife
about taking me to the opera?
231
00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:34,489
That was love, Liz.
Everyone lies when they're in love.
232
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:38,778
Don't tell me you're in love
with me again. I won't believe it!
233
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:42,137
Did you really mean
to get Rumpole disbarred?
234
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:45,258
Disbarred? Rumpole? That's impossible.
235
00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:50,574
They've been longing to do it for years.
You've given them the excuse they need!
236
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:54,779
- You're beautiful when you're angry!
- Two house whites.
237
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:57,408
Oh... Oh, well, I suppose so.
238
00:17:57,580 --> 00:18:02,415
You can't imagine what married life
was like when my wife was Lord Mayor.
239
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:05,538
- I bet you were proud of her.
- Proud of her?
240
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:10,649
What happened to my self-respect?
I was referred to as the Lady Mayoress!
241
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:14,529
- Poor old Henry.
- Poor old Henry, yes!
242
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:17,737
I was sat in the gallery
at council meetings,
243
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:21,131
the gallery in our town hall
known as the hen pen.
244
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:25,134
- I was sat there with the wives.
- Things a bit better now?
245
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:29,612
Now that Eileen's reverted to alderman?
Very minimally, Dot.
246
00:18:29,780 --> 00:18:33,568
Oh, dear.
She's on this slimming regime now.
247
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:38,177
What shall I go back to?
Lettuce salad and cottage cheese?
248
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:42,538
You know that white stuff?
Tastes of soap?
249
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:46,409
Oh, nothing to drink, of course.
No. No alcohol.
250
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:51,290
Do you reckon you could go
another Snowball, Dot?
251
00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:53,690
I'm all right, thanks.
252
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:57,694
I know you are, Dot.
You most certainly are all right.
253
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:03,817
- May I ask you a personal question?
- No harm in asking.
254
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:08,815
Do you like me, Dot?
I mean, do you like me for myself?
255
00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:12,010
I don't like you for anyone else.
256
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:15,889
You're a very nice sort of person.
Speak as you find.
257
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:19,530
- And I'm a big part of your life?
- Of course you are.
258
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:24,615
Thank you, Dot. Thank you very much.
That's all I needed to hear.
259
00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:28,409
That deserves another Snowball.
Quite decidedly!
260
00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:36,818
I mean, you're my boss, aren't you?
That's a big part of my life.
261
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:38,936
You've got to fight it.
262
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,534
- Fight what?
- Your case.
263
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:44,658
- The Establishment against Rumpole.
- Ha!
264
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:47,937
My dear Miss Liz, there is no case.
265
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,739
- It's a question of free speech.
- Is it?
266
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:55,610
Your freedom to speak to your client
at lunch. You're a civil rights issue.
267
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:58,135
I don't think I want to be that.
268
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,290
You're drinking brandy!
269
00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:05,089
- Dutch courage!
- Rumpole, that's not like you.
270
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:07,728
You've never been afraid of judges.
271
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:11,939
Judges? My dear Miss Liz,
as I've always taught you,
272
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:16,093
fearlessness is the first essential
for an advocate.
273
00:20:16,260 --> 00:20:19,297
No, no, no. I can cope with the judges.
274
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:22,850
It's those other fellas
that give me the jim-jams.
275
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,976
What other fellas, Rumpole?
276
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,056
Dentists.
277
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,734
(Murmur of conversation)
278
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,330
Indeed we do, quite a lot.
279
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:47,335
You may have heard Porter ringing
the hand bell before dinner.
280
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:50,572
That's been going on
since the Middle Ages.
281
00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:53,857
Its purpose is to summon in
such of our students
282
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,375
as may be fishing in the Fleet River.
283
00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:58,610
Oh, I like that. I like that.
284
00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:03,092
We of the Outer Temple regard it
as a rather charming eccentricity.
285
00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:08,209
I've had enough of eccentricity lately
and I don't find it a bit charming!
286
00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:12,771
I've heard you've been having
a bit of trouble with Rumpole.
287
00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:15,818
- He's a genuine eccentric.
- Genuine?
288
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:19,211
Look, where I come from,
we know what genuine is.
289
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:23,089
There's nothing more genuine
than a Yorkshire pudding
290
00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:26,297
that's all fluffy
and crisp on the outside.
291
00:21:26,460 --> 00:21:30,931
On Ilkley Moor baht 'at
On Ilkley Moor baht 'at, on Ilkley...
292
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:35,332
Master Junior!
We don't sing on guest nights in this inn.
293
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,855
Only on the night of grand revelry.
294
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:42,855
- I'm very sorry, Master Treasurer.
- Please remember that.
295
00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:47,377
- Oliver, you were saying?
- It's all so theatrical with Rumpole.
296
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:50,976
Those old clothes make him look poor
and down at heel.
297
00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:54,337
They're put on to get a sympathy vote
from the jury.
298
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:59,369
And that terrible bit of old waistcoat
with cigar ash and gravy stains.
299
00:21:59,540 --> 00:22:03,499
It's no more than a facade
of a waistcoat, a sort of dickey.
300
00:22:03,660 --> 00:22:05,730
The old Lord Chief never listened
301
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:09,290
to anyone he suspected
of wearing a backless waistcoat.
302
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:14,818
He said to Freddie Ringwood, "It gives
me little pleasure to listen to an argument
303
00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:17,892
"from a man wearing light trousers."
304
00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:23,418
This Rumpole you've been talking about,
I gather he's a bit of a character?
305
00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:25,730
You could say he's got form!
306
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:29,290
That means previous convictions,
Bishop.
307
00:22:29,460 --> 00:22:33,738
We get them in our business.
Priests who try to be characters.
308
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:37,859
They've come to it late in life,
preach eccentric sermons,
309
00:22:38,020 --> 00:22:40,693
mention Saddam Hussein
in their prayers.
310
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,215
- Madeira, Bishop?
- Thank you.
311
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:48,693
Give me a plain, undistinguished
parish priest, not too interesting,
312
00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:54,298
who can marry them, bury them, and
still do a decent Armistice Day's service.
313
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:58,339
Or a chap who can put his case,
keep a civil tongue in his head
314
00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:01,139
and not complain
when you pot his client.
315
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:05,259
What did Freddie Ringwood do
in the end? Was it that business
316
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:09,857
of his girl pupil trying to slit
her wrists in the women's robing room?
317
00:23:10,020 --> 00:23:15,048
His trouble was he spoke to his client
while the fellow was giving evidence.
318
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:17,814
Sounds familiar.
319
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:23,771
With Rumpole, there's also the abusive
language he used to me on the bench.
320
00:23:23,940 --> 00:23:28,138
Not that I mind for myself.
I can use my common sense about that.
321
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:32,691
But when you're sitting representing
Her Majesty the Queen...
322
00:23:32,860 --> 00:23:37,217
They say Rumpole's case
has been sent to a disciplinary tribunal.
323
00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:40,338
May the Lord have mercy on his soul.
324
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:41,853
Amen.
325
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:44,056
Rumpole on trial.
326
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:49,291
You must admit...
it's rather an amusing idea.
327
00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:51,212
(Laughter)
328
00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:59,099
Hilda...
329
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,696
I have something to tell you.
330
00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:05,294
And I have something to tell YOU.
331
00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:10,409
- I've just about finished with this game.
- What game is that, Rumpole?
332
00:24:10,580 --> 00:24:13,333
Standing up in court,
bowing to the judge,
333
00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:17,049
"if your lordship pleases,
in my humble submission,
334
00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:19,780
"with the greatest respect, my lord..."
335
00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:24,616
Just some boring old... fool
no one has any respect for at all.
336
00:24:24,780 --> 00:24:28,375
You shouldn't have to stand up
or bow to anyone any more,
337
00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:31,134
but spend the rest of your days sitting.
338
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:36,454
If that's all they can say to me after
a lifetime of trying to see justice done,
339
00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:41,740
trying to make them open their eyes
and see past their prejudices...
340
00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:45,449
From this time forth,
I never will speak word.
341
00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:50,569
I'm sure that's best, Rumpole. Except,
of course, for your summings up.
342
00:24:51,660 --> 00:24:53,537
My what?
343
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:57,978
Your summings up to the jury.
And you can do that sitting down.
344
00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:00,779
Hilda, what are you talking about?
345
00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:04,410
Your news, Rumpole. I know what it is.
346
00:25:04,580 --> 00:25:07,890
I talked to Marigold Featherstone
in Harrods.
347
00:25:08,060 --> 00:25:10,813
You're going to be a judge.
348
00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:15,576
Ha ha ha! No, my dear old thing,
I am not going to be a judge.
349
00:25:15,740 --> 00:25:18,174
I'm not even going to be a barrister.
350
00:25:18,340 --> 00:25:23,130
I am up before a disciplinary tribunal.
They are going to kick me out.
351
00:25:24,060 --> 00:25:28,815
What is it, Rumpole? Have you got
yourself into some sort of trouble?
352
00:25:28,980 --> 00:25:33,132
- You could say that.
- Is it another woman?
353
00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:35,256
Not really. Another man.
354
00:25:35,420 --> 00:25:37,376
A North Country comedian
355
00:25:37,540 --> 00:25:42,660
who gave me more of his down-to-earth
common sense than I could stand!
356
00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:45,778
- Sir Oliver Oliphant.
- None other.
357
00:25:46,780 --> 00:25:49,169
When is this... tribunal?
358
00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:51,296
Oh, shortly.
359
00:25:52,980 --> 00:25:56,370
And I shall treat it with the contempt
it deserves.
360
00:25:56,540 --> 00:25:58,929
And after that...
361
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:01,409
I shall rest.
362
00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:03,935
"For the sword outwears its sheath
363
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:06,933
"And the soul wears out the breast
364
00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:10,410
"And the heart must pause to breathe...
365
00:26:11,420 --> 00:26:14,378
"And love itself have rest."
366
00:26:14,540 --> 00:26:18,169
I shall stand by you, Rumpole,
no matter what the cost.
367
00:26:18,340 --> 00:26:21,298
I shall stand by you
through thick and thin.
368
00:26:21,460 --> 00:26:23,769
Oh, Hilda!
369
00:26:23,940 --> 00:26:25,896
I was afraid of that.
370
00:26:28,060 --> 00:26:32,133
Our champion brief up for trial?
I never thought I'd see the day.
371
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:34,655
- He'll walk, won't he?
- Oh, well...
372
00:26:34,820 --> 00:26:39,177
Mr Bernard, we'll get him through.
We've always worked as a team.
373
00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:41,490
What's the charge they got him on?
374
00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:44,493
Speaking to a client
while giving evidence.
375
00:26:44,660 --> 00:26:48,335
Can't your client say he never?
The vehicle's over here.
376
00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:50,889
Mr Tong has vanished with a neighbour.
377
00:26:51,060 --> 00:26:55,099
We can't trace him, even if Mr Rumpole
denies the conversation.
378
00:26:55,260 --> 00:26:58,935
- Which he does?
- All the fight's gone out of him.
379
00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:03,218
- I've never seen him like this.
- We'll have to help him out.
380
00:27:03,380 --> 00:27:07,214
There you are, Mr Bernard. Just the
vehicle for a gentleman of your stature.
381
00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:08,972
Property of a late undertaker
382
00:27:09,140 --> 00:27:13,930
who passed over before
he got the full joy out of it.
383
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:19,413
You tell Mr Rumpole we're behind him.
That ought to cheer the old chap up a bit.
384
00:27:22,260 --> 00:27:23,693
(Knock at door)
385
00:27:23,860 --> 00:27:26,010
- Come in.
- Sam!
386
00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:28,740
Ah, Mrs Rumpole... er, Hilda.
387
00:27:29,620 --> 00:27:33,738
- Are you looking for your husband?
- No, he's not in chambers.
388
00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:38,018
- Drowning his sorrows perhaps.
- Yes, that's all too likely.
389
00:27:38,180 --> 00:27:43,538
No, it's you I called to see. You do know
that Rumpole is in a little difficulty?
390
00:27:45,140 --> 00:27:47,176
Terrible, terrible trouble.
391
00:27:47,340 --> 00:27:51,128
I have prayed about it.
I have prayed long and earnestly.
392
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,575
I hope you'll do more than pray.
393
00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:56,413
Do, Mrs... Hilda? What more can I do?
394
00:27:56,580 --> 00:27:58,536
I am standing by my husband!
395
00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:03,137
I hope you're not standing against him
like Claude Erskine-Brown.
396
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:07,259
- I shall say something to Claude.
- No, I'm not against him.
397
00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:10,253
- Good. I went to the Bar Council.
- You did?
398
00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:14,049
I called on the Secretary
to discuss Rumpole's case
399
00:28:14,220 --> 00:28:17,018
and I made it clear
I was standing by him.
400
00:28:17,180 --> 00:28:19,774
He was a perfectly charming gentleman
401
00:28:19,940 --> 00:28:23,615
and he told me that Rumpole needs
a QC to defend him.
402
00:28:23,780 --> 00:28:27,568
If he defends himself,
Mr Hockridge said, it's curtains.
403
00:28:27,740 --> 00:28:30,777
Yes, Edward gave you
some very sound advice.
404
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:34,819
I told him there was no problem
finding a QC of standing.
405
00:28:34,980 --> 00:28:36,936
I'd ask his Head of Chambers.
406
00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:40,536
- Do you mean me?
- Who else is head of these chambers?
407
00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:45,410
No, no, no. I mean, you want me
to take on... Rumpole as a client?
408
00:28:45,580 --> 00:28:51,098
I want you to stand by him as any decent
Head of Chambers would for a tenant.
409
00:28:51,260 --> 00:28:54,775
Oh, well, Mrs... Hilda, l-l-I don't know.
410
00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:59,456
He has got to apologise. I'm sure
this nice Mr... whoever you saw...
411
00:28:59,620 --> 00:29:04,171
I'm sure he made this clear. How
can I persuade Rumpole to apologise?
412
00:29:04,340 --> 00:29:09,573
I'll do the persuading. You think of how
to put it nice and politely to the judge.
413
00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:13,777
Rumpole as a client...
God give me strength!
414
00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:17,171
Don't worry.
If God doesn't, I certainly will.
415
00:29:22,100 --> 00:29:24,056
Mr Rumpole?
416
00:29:30,140 --> 00:29:32,176
Mr Rumpole?
417
00:29:32,340 --> 00:29:34,296
Fred! Fred Timson!
418
00:29:34,460 --> 00:29:37,930
What can I do for you?
You're not in any trouble?
419
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:40,136
No, no, no. But I heard you was.
420
00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:44,976
I want you to talk freely. I want you
to regard me as your legal adviser.
421
00:29:45,140 --> 00:29:46,858
Oh.
422
00:29:48,020 --> 00:29:52,571
So, you've undertaken the thankless task
of defending Rumpole?
423
00:29:52,740 --> 00:29:55,300
It's in the great tradition of the Bar.
424
00:29:55,460 --> 00:30:00,215
One represents the most disagreeable
client in the most hopeless case.
425
00:30:00,380 --> 00:30:05,215
Hopeless, I'm glad you say that. It shows
you've got a bit of common sense.
426
00:30:05,380 --> 00:30:09,259
- Yes, but if Rumpole were to apologise.
- He never will.
427
00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:13,459
Yes, but if I or someone,
whomsoever it might be, could...
428
00:30:14,660 --> 00:30:20,018
You are known, I believe, in some
quarters as..."the quality of mercy".
429
00:30:21,260 --> 00:30:26,209
Now, if there were to be
the most humble, contrite apology...
430
00:30:26,380 --> 00:30:29,850
Rumpole would rather be disbarred
than apologise.
431
00:30:30,020 --> 00:30:31,976
Yes, but if he would?
432
00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:34,096
If he would,
433
00:30:34,260 --> 00:30:39,653
it would give him more genuine grief
and pain than anything else in the world.
434
00:30:39,820 --> 00:30:42,539
I'd enjoy seeing that. I really would.
435
00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:46,375
- It'll be up to the tribunal, of course.
- Yes.
436
00:30:46,540 --> 00:30:49,452
It so happens
that Carrie and Chas Timson,
437
00:30:49,620 --> 00:30:55,013
being spectators in Chas's brother-in-law
Lenny's trial on the post office job,
438
00:30:55,180 --> 00:30:58,695
was in the Old Bailey that day
and they kept Tongue...
439
00:30:58,860 --> 00:30:59,815
Tong.
440
00:30:59,980 --> 00:31:03,450
They kept Mr Tong in view
throughout the lunch hour.
441
00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:08,933
Owing to a family celebration the night
before, they didn't fancy their dinner.
442
00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:12,888
They can say that you did not speak
one word to your client,
443
00:31:13,060 --> 00:31:16,848
so the good news is you got
two cast-iron alibi witnesses.
444
00:31:17,020 --> 00:31:22,219
I've informed Mr Bernard accordingly
and you are bound to walk.
445
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:27,579
I see. What was the name of the judge
hearing the robbery that they attended?
446
00:31:27,740 --> 00:31:31,016
Yeah, they told me.
That was old Penal Parsloe.
447
00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:35,731
Mr Justice Parsloe is now Lord Justice
Parsloe in the Court of Appeal.
448
00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:39,097
He hasn't been near the Old Bailey
for two years.
449
00:31:39,260 --> 00:31:42,457
Nice try, Fred,
but it wouldn't have worked,
450
00:31:42,620 --> 00:31:45,532
even if I decided to deny the charges.
451
00:31:45,700 --> 00:31:48,851
- Who was the judge then?
- Never mind, Fred.
452
00:31:49,020 --> 00:31:51,898
It's the thought that counts.
453
00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:38,536
Don't do it, Rumpole.
454
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:41,658
- Don't do what?
- Look for the easy way out.
455
00:32:41,820 --> 00:32:43,776
Don't be absurd, Ballard.
456
00:32:43,940 --> 00:32:48,536
Remember, however serious the crime,
all sinners may be forgiven.
457
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:53,490
And there are those who are standing
by you - your devoted wife and me.
458
00:32:53,660 --> 00:32:55,696
You? You're standing by me?
459
00:32:55,860 --> 00:32:59,773
I have taken up, Rumpole,
the burden of your defence.
460
00:32:59,940 --> 00:33:04,536
Put it down again. I have nothing to say
to those ridiculous charges!
461
00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:06,895
I can save you if you truly repent.
462
00:33:07,060 --> 00:33:10,370
Repentance, Rumpole, it's the only way.
463
00:33:10,540 --> 00:33:12,496
Apologise.
464
00:33:12,660 --> 00:33:17,211
- Apologise? To OIlie Oliphant? Never!
- I do not ask it for myself.
465
00:33:17,380 --> 00:33:21,168
I ask it for that fine woman
who has devoted her life to you.
466
00:33:21,340 --> 00:33:24,457
A somewhat unworthy cause,
but she is devoted.
467
00:33:24,620 --> 00:33:26,576
Really!
468
00:33:26,740 --> 00:33:29,049
Ru... Rumpole? I ask it for Hilda!
469
00:33:29,220 --> 00:33:31,575
The one thing you have to do...
470
00:33:34,380 --> 00:33:36,336
How can I bear it, Rumpole?
471
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:40,288
Me, who remembers Daddy at the Bar,
how respected he was.
472
00:33:40,460 --> 00:33:44,135
How can I bear to be the wife
of a disbarred barrister?
473
00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:48,896
- What do you want me to do, Hilda?
- Apologise to Sir Oliver Oliphant.
474
00:33:50,660 --> 00:33:53,049
All right, Hilda. You win.
475
00:33:58,580 --> 00:34:00,696
I told Eileen last night.
476
00:34:00,860 --> 00:34:05,729
She wasn't out at the Drainage Enquiry
and I told my wife what we'd decided.
477
00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:07,856
What did we decide?
478
00:34:08,020 --> 00:34:11,490
About when you told me
I was a big part of your life.
479
00:34:11,660 --> 00:34:14,015
Did I say that?
480
00:34:14,180 --> 00:34:16,136
You know you did.
481
00:34:19,780 --> 00:34:22,135
We can't hide it, can we, Dot?
482
00:34:24,380 --> 00:34:26,814
We're gonna make a future together.
483
00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:30,852
- You told your wife that?
- She understood.
484
00:34:31,020 --> 00:34:35,616
I've got to have this one chance
of happiness while I'm young enough.
485
00:34:35,780 --> 00:34:38,169
Did you say "young enough", Henry?
486
00:34:38,340 --> 00:34:40,774
We're beginning a new life together.
487
00:34:40,940 --> 00:34:45,297
I've got to take the professional conduct
rules to Mr Ballard.
488
00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:48,133
Henry, you're not moving out
of your home?
489
00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:53,135
Of course I am. Just as soon as we've
had time to look around for somewhere.
490
00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:55,495
Got to rush now, darling.
491
00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:57,252
Oh, blimey!
492
00:34:57,420 --> 00:35:01,538
Judge, you've dealt with the instructions
you gave Mr Rumpole
493
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:05,010
not to speak to his client
during the adjournment.
494
00:35:05,180 --> 00:35:10,254
Yes, I made it perfectly clear... to anyone
with an ounce of common sense.
495
00:35:10,420 --> 00:35:14,777
Indeed. Judge, did Mr Rumpole say
something about prejudice?
496
00:35:14,940 --> 00:35:16,089
Don't lead.
497
00:35:16,260 --> 00:35:19,536
He accused me of
being prejudiced, yes.
498
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:22,373
And spoke of premature adjudication.
499
00:35:22,540 --> 00:35:25,259
I was not at all sure what he meant.
500
00:35:25,420 --> 00:35:27,888
- At first.
- Thank you, Judge.
501
00:35:28,780 --> 00:35:29,974
Judge...
502
00:35:30,940 --> 00:35:34,979
It's extremely courteous of you
to attend here in person...
503
00:35:35,140 --> 00:35:38,576
Absolutely charming to lodge
a complaint against me!
504
00:35:38,740 --> 00:35:42,096
Absolutely charming,
as Mr Rumpole says.
505
00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:47,539
He also wishes you to know that
he was suffering from severe toothache
506
00:35:47,700 --> 00:35:50,089
on the morning in question.
507
00:35:50,260 --> 00:35:55,095
Is toothache an excuse for speaking
to a client during the adjournment?
508
00:35:55,260 --> 00:35:59,651
I should've thought Mr Rumpole
would've wanted to REST his mouth.
509
00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:04,735
My lord, I'm dealing with the question
of rudeness to the learned judge.
510
00:36:04,900 --> 00:36:07,573
(Whispers) The "boring old fart" charge.
511
00:36:07,740 --> 00:36:09,492
Very well.
512
00:36:09,660 --> 00:36:13,733
My lord, my client wishes to,
in his own words,
513
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,494
apologise to the learned judge.
514
00:36:22,060 --> 00:36:25,609
My lord, if it pleases your lordship,
515
00:36:25,780 --> 00:36:30,900
I realise that there are things which
should never be said or done in court.
516
00:36:31,060 --> 00:36:34,257
Things which are utterly inexcusable
517
00:36:34,420 --> 00:36:37,218
and which no doubt amount to contempt.
518
00:36:37,380 --> 00:36:42,329
Mr Rumpole, the tribunal is,
and I'm sure I speak for us all,
519
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:47,449
most surprised and gratified
by this unusually apologetic attitude.
520
00:36:47,620 --> 00:36:52,375
I take it you are now about to withdraw
the inexcusable phrases?
521
00:36:52,540 --> 00:36:55,373
Inexcusable? Yes, my lord.
522
00:36:55,540 --> 00:36:59,897
I was about to put to Mr Justice Oliphant
the inexcusable manner
523
00:37:00,060 --> 00:37:03,097
in which he sighs
and rolls his eyes to heaven
524
00:37:03,260 --> 00:37:06,013
when summing up the case
for the defence.
525
00:37:06,180 --> 00:37:09,616
"Believe that if you like,
but use your common sense."
526
00:37:09,780 --> 00:37:13,534
What about describing
my client's conduct as manslaughter
527
00:37:13,700 --> 00:37:16,453
when that was what the jury had
to decide?
528
00:37:16,620 --> 00:37:21,569
If he will say sorry for that, then I am
perfectly prepared to apologise
529
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:24,698
for pointing out his undoubted prejudice.
530
00:37:24,860 --> 00:37:28,648
- Am I expected to sit here?
- No, no, my lord.
531
00:37:28,820 --> 00:37:33,575
Rumpole, what were you thinking about?
You were supposed to apologise!
532
00:37:33,740 --> 00:37:35,935
I'm prepared to swap apologies.
533
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:38,170
Yes, I heard that, Mr Ballard.
534
00:37:38,340 --> 00:37:43,175
As your client knows perfectly well,
my hearing is exceptionally keen.
535
00:37:43,340 --> 00:37:48,698
I wonder what Mr Rumpole's excuse is
for his extraordinary behaviour today?
536
00:37:48,860 --> 00:37:51,454
He's not suffering from toothache now?
537
00:37:51,620 --> 00:37:54,180
My lord...
538
00:37:54,340 --> 00:37:56,570
I will take instructions.
539
00:37:56,740 --> 00:37:59,777
Rumpole,
hadn't you better have toothache?
540
00:37:59,940 --> 00:38:01,896
No, I had it out.
541
00:38:04,780 --> 00:38:08,170
My lord, the answer is no.
542
00:38:08,340 --> 00:38:11,457
He had it out... during the trial.
543
00:38:12,340 --> 00:38:14,615
"Had it out...
544
00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:19,051
"...during the trial."
545
00:38:19,220 --> 00:38:24,010
We shall proceed with this
unhappy case tomorrow morning.
546
00:38:24,180 --> 00:38:26,899
"Had it out."
547
00:38:27,060 --> 00:38:29,449
My lord, may I make an application?
548
00:38:29,620 --> 00:38:31,770
What is it, Mr Rumpole?
549
00:38:31,940 --> 00:38:35,410
I'm getting rather tired
of Mr Ballard's attempts
550
00:38:35,580 --> 00:38:38,140
to get me to apologise unilaterally.
551
00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:43,249
Would you kindly ask him not to speak
to his client over the adjournment?
552
00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:49,810
- Liz, where are you taking me?
- To the scene of the crime, Claude.
553
00:38:49,980 --> 00:38:52,653
Show me exactly
where you were standing.
554
00:38:53,620 --> 00:38:55,895
Well, it was here. I was here.
555
00:38:56,060 --> 00:38:59,973
- And where was Mr Tong?
- Just over there on that bench.
556
00:39:00,140 --> 00:39:02,290
Ah. So...
557
00:39:02,460 --> 00:39:05,372
- You could see him then.
- Of course I could.
558
00:39:05,540 --> 00:39:08,293
Stay there. Where was Rumpole?
559
00:39:08,460 --> 00:39:11,099
Well, just behind the arch, I suppose.
560
00:39:13,380 --> 00:39:16,258
- You suppose?
- I know I heard his voice.
561
00:39:16,420 --> 00:39:20,129
You heard his voice
coming from behind this arch?
562
00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:23,531
Yes, Rumpole's voice
is pretty unmistakeable.
563
00:39:23,700 --> 00:39:27,898
- When did you first see him?
- When he walked out of the archway.
564
00:39:28,060 --> 00:39:32,258
After the conversation you thought
he had with Mr Tong was over?
565
00:39:32,420 --> 00:39:36,208
Yes. What do you mean,
the conversation I THOUGHT he had?
566
00:39:38,220 --> 00:39:40,893
"You boring old fart. Just get on with it.
567
00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:45,815
"I've got enough trouble without you
causing me all this agony. Get it out!"
568
00:39:45,980 --> 00:39:48,938
- Something like that, yes.
- "Get it out"?
569
00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:52,251
You didn't bother to think get WHAT out,
did you?
570
00:39:59,460 --> 00:40:03,931
Rumpole's dentist? Well,
it's Lionel Leering of Harley Street.
571
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:08,059
Miss Probert, are you having trouble
with your teeth?
572
00:40:08,220 --> 00:40:12,008
No, I don't think
that Rumpole does like him very much.
573
00:40:13,260 --> 00:40:15,694
Does he call him a boring old what?
574
00:40:16,860 --> 00:40:19,658
Yes, I'm afraid he does occasionally.
575
00:40:21,100 --> 00:40:24,888
If the tribunal pleases,
our next witness will be called
576
00:40:25,060 --> 00:40:28,211
by my learned junior,
Miss Elizabeth Probert.
577
00:40:28,380 --> 00:40:31,452
I shall call Mr Lionel Leering.
578
00:40:31,620 --> 00:40:33,975
Please sit down in that chair.
579
00:40:39,060 --> 00:40:41,369
Take the Bible in your right hand.
580
00:40:42,860 --> 00:40:44,816
Miss Probert...
581
00:40:46,020 --> 00:40:50,775
No, I'm not going to fight it.
I instruct you, Miss Probert, don't do it.
582
00:40:50,940 --> 00:40:55,491
Rumpole, this is my big moment in court.
It's what you trained me for.
583
00:40:55,660 --> 00:40:59,289
I was your pupil all that time.
Don't spoil it for me.
584
00:40:59,460 --> 00:41:02,054
Oh, I suppose, if you have to!
585
00:41:03,540 --> 00:41:09,092
Are you Mr Lionel Leering and do you
have a practice in Harley Street, London?
586
00:41:09,260 --> 00:41:10,932
That is so.
587
00:41:17,420 --> 00:41:20,890
On the morning of the 18th,
did you treat Mr Rumpole?
588
00:41:21,060 --> 00:41:26,134
I did. He came early because he was in
the middle of a case at the Old Bailey.
589
00:41:26,300 --> 00:41:32,091
Defending in a manslaughter. I gave him
a temporary stopping to keep him going.
590
00:41:32,260 --> 00:41:34,057
- Did it?
- Apparently not.
591
00:41:34,220 --> 00:41:38,816
He rang me around lunchtime and
told me the tooth was causing him pain.
592
00:41:38,980 --> 00:41:40,936
He was extremely angry.
593
00:41:41,100 --> 00:41:43,819
Can you remember what he said?
594
00:41:43,980 --> 00:41:49,179
He said, "I have enough trouble with the
judge without you causing all this agony.
595
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:52,298
"Get it out and put us out of our misery."
596
00:41:52,460 --> 00:41:56,533
- Do you know what he meant?
- He wanted his tooth extracted.
597
00:41:58,980 --> 00:42:01,335
- Mr Varian...
- My lord.
598
00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:03,456
If this evidence is correct
599
00:42:03,620 --> 00:42:08,171
and we remember the admissions made
by Mr Claude Erstone-Brown...
600
00:42:08,340 --> 00:42:10,934
- Erskine-Brown, my lord.
- Thank you.
601
00:42:11,100 --> 00:42:14,456
...about the fact
that he never saw Mr Rumpole,
602
00:42:14,620 --> 00:42:19,853
this allegation about speaking to his
client falls to the ground, does it not?
603
00:42:20,020 --> 00:42:22,056
I must concede that, my lord.
604
00:42:22,220 --> 00:42:26,896
Then all that remains is the offensive
remarks to Mr Justice Oliphant.
605
00:42:27,060 --> 00:42:30,735
- Yes, my lord.
- Yes. I'm much obliged.
606
00:42:30,900 --> 00:42:32,856
Mr Ballard...
607
00:42:33,020 --> 00:42:34,976
My lord?
608
00:42:35,140 --> 00:42:38,849
This case now turns
on whether your client is prepared
609
00:42:39,020 --> 00:42:43,138
to make a proper, unilateral apology
to my brother Oliphant.
610
00:42:43,300 --> 00:42:48,249
- Indeed, my lord.
- We'll consider that matter after lunch.
611
00:42:51,700 --> 00:42:55,818
His brother Oliphant indeed!
Why does it have to be only me?
612
00:42:55,980 --> 00:42:59,256
I don't think you should apologise.
613
00:42:59,420 --> 00:43:02,537
Not apologise?
Is that what you've decided?
614
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:06,579
Nothing will make you stop work
unless you ARE disbarred!
615
00:43:06,740 --> 00:43:10,210
Think how wonderful that would be
for our marriage!
616
00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:14,134
- What do you mean, Hilda?
- I shall have you at home all day.
617
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:17,417
And there are so many little jobs
for you to do.
618
00:43:17,580 --> 00:43:21,778
You could repaper the kitchen,
polish the parquet in the hall.
619
00:43:21,940 --> 00:43:25,535
You could help me shop.
We could have my friends to tea.
620
00:43:25,700 --> 00:43:29,773
Dodo Macintosh always complains
she sees nothing of you.
621
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:32,010
Oh... Really?
622
00:43:40,140 --> 00:43:43,212
- Thank you, Mrs Rumpole.
- Was that all right?
623
00:43:43,380 --> 00:43:45,336
Absolutely brilliant!
624
00:43:47,460 --> 00:43:51,214
My lord, Mr Rumpole wishes
to make a statement.
625
00:43:52,260 --> 00:43:54,216
Yes, Mr Rumpole?
626
00:43:56,620 --> 00:44:01,774
If your lordship pleases, I realise
that some people are more sensitive,
627
00:44:01,940 --> 00:44:04,408
more easily offended than others.
628
00:44:05,420 --> 00:44:10,574
Over my long years at the Old Bailey,
before your lordship and brother judges,
629
00:44:10,740 --> 00:44:13,971
I have had to grow a skin
like a rhinoceros.
630
00:44:14,140 --> 00:44:19,692
Mr Justice Oliphant
I acknowledge is a more sensitive plant.
631
00:44:20,540 --> 00:44:25,534
And if I have said anything
that may have hurt him,
632
00:44:25,700 --> 00:44:30,296
I do most humbly
and most sincerely apologise.
633
00:44:32,340 --> 00:44:34,296
Will that do?
634
00:44:44,660 --> 00:44:49,415
Ah, Judge! This is a great day
for Equity Court. We're celebrating.
635
00:44:49,580 --> 00:44:54,415
Mrs Claude Erskine-Brown elevated
to the Bench and her husband in silk.
636
00:44:54,580 --> 00:44:56,536
Claude Erskine-Brown?
637
00:44:56,700 --> 00:45:01,296
They must be giving away silk gowns
with pounds of tea nowadays.
638
00:45:04,940 --> 00:45:06,896
You're Dot, aren't you?
639
00:45:07,060 --> 00:45:10,655
Eileen, Henry's wife.
He's been telling me about you.
640
00:45:10,820 --> 00:45:14,017
I don't know why he did that.
I'm really sorry.
641
00:45:14,180 --> 00:45:17,297
Oh, don't be.
No, it's a great relief to me.
642
00:45:17,460 --> 00:45:22,534
I was on a horrible slimming diet because
I thought that's how Henry liked me.
643
00:45:22,700 --> 00:45:27,216
Now he says you want to make your life
together. Pass me a sandwich.
644
00:45:27,380 --> 00:45:32,295
We're not going to make a life together.
I don't know where he got the idea.
645
00:45:32,460 --> 00:45:34,735
Henry's very sweet and serious.
646
00:45:34,900 --> 00:45:38,859
But in a boyfriend,
I prefer something a bit more muscular.
647
00:45:39,020 --> 00:45:42,729
- You won't take him on?
- I couldn't entertain the idea!
648
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:46,939
- With all due respect to Henry.
- He'll have to stay where he is.
649
00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:50,854
I won't go back on that horrible
cottage cheese for anyone!
650
00:45:51,020 --> 00:45:55,138
We're grateful to you, Sam,
for the way you handled this case.
651
00:45:55,300 --> 00:45:58,133
Got the old boy to apologise
quite nicely.
652
00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:02,009
Thank you. One does have influence
as Head of Chambers.
653
00:46:02,180 --> 00:46:06,378
And we're grateful to you
for allowing him to go on practising.
654
00:46:06,540 --> 00:46:11,170
Some of us felt that life might be
a little dull... without him.
655
00:46:13,580 --> 00:46:17,698
- She doesn't want you, Henry.
- Ssh! How do you know that?
656
00:46:17,860 --> 00:46:22,729
She goes for something far more
muscular. I know what she means.
657
00:46:22,900 --> 00:46:25,619
Ah, Judge! And dear Lady Featherstone!
658
00:46:25,780 --> 00:46:30,535
Well, Sam, so you saved Rumpole
to let him loose on the Bailey again!
659
00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:33,772
It was a worrying case.
I was afraid we'd lose.
660
00:46:33,940 --> 00:46:36,329
Even more worrying now you've won!
661
00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:40,778
Well, well, there's my sister judge,
Mrs Erskine-Brown.
662
00:46:42,460 --> 00:46:44,769
Phyllida, congratulations.
663
00:46:46,060 --> 00:46:50,417
Horace, why didn't you tell me
you were speaking to your dentist?
664
00:46:50,580 --> 00:46:55,335
Claude, your suggestion was
beneath contempt. I didn't want to argue.
665
00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:57,968
Why ever not? What's come over you?
666
00:46:58,140 --> 00:47:02,736
"For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast
667
00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:05,539
"And the heart must pause to breathe..."
668
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:08,533
But not quite yet perhaps. Not quite yet.
669
00:47:09,500 --> 00:47:12,856
You're looking more beautiful than ever,
Judge.
670
00:47:13,020 --> 00:47:16,569
Why don't you drop into my room
and share a dish of tea?
671
00:47:16,740 --> 00:47:19,573
- I could give you a few tips.
- On judging?
672
00:47:19,740 --> 00:47:24,655
No, thanks. I mean to keep my foot
out of my mouth for as long as possible.
673
00:47:24,820 --> 00:47:26,219
Oh!
674
00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:31,693
Well, you could just drop in for some tea
and we could talk about... other things.
675
00:47:31,860 --> 00:47:34,499
What other things?
676
00:47:34,660 --> 00:47:36,059
Well...
677
00:47:36,220 --> 00:47:39,451
So Rumpole won't be sitting as a judge.
678
00:47:39,620 --> 00:47:43,533
In fact, I heard he nearly ended up
sitting at home!
679
00:47:45,020 --> 00:47:48,808
Rumpole left the court
without a stain on his character.
680
00:47:49,780 --> 00:47:51,736
Ah, Judge, you're here!
681
00:47:51,900 --> 00:47:54,733
Rumpole invited me,
so of course I'm here.
682
00:47:54,900 --> 00:47:58,449
I didn't hear him apologise.
Made him squirm, did it?
683
00:47:58,620 --> 00:48:00,975
- It was agony for him.
- Good, good.
684
00:48:01,140 --> 00:48:03,210
You know my wife, Marguerite?
685
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,735
You were Matron at the Old Bailey.
686
00:48:05,900 --> 00:48:09,609
I see you're letting that naughty tummy
run away with us!
687
00:48:09,780 --> 00:48:12,340
Have you got any bottled beer?
688
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:17,895
I didn't want her to come, but she
insisted. Must've been embarrassing.
689
00:48:18,060 --> 00:48:21,450
We got on like a house on fire.
You're a lucky bloke.
690
00:48:21,620 --> 00:48:23,212
Having you?
691
00:48:23,380 --> 00:48:27,259
No. Having a woman prepared
to eat cottage cheese for you!
692
00:48:28,220 --> 00:48:30,176
Splendid win, Miss Liz.
693
00:48:30,340 --> 00:48:34,856
You showed yourself absolutely ruthless
in the pursuit of victory.
694
00:48:35,020 --> 00:48:37,693
Liz is ruthless
in pursuit of anything.
695
00:48:37,860 --> 00:48:40,294
- Have you forgiven me?
- I think so.
696
00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:43,850
Who gave Hilda the line
about me being home all day?
697
00:48:44,020 --> 00:48:48,411
- What's that, Rumpole?
- Hilda, I was just saying to Liz...
698
00:48:48,580 --> 00:48:51,413
how splendid it would be
to be home all day.
699
00:48:51,580 --> 00:48:54,174
It wasn't that that led me to apologise.
700
00:48:54,340 --> 00:48:58,891
That's the trouble with barristers.
You never believe a word they say!
701
00:48:59,060 --> 00:49:03,975
Oh, Fred!
Fred Timson, so glad you could come!
702
00:49:04,140 --> 00:49:06,893
Quite a do, eh?
Judges and sparkling wine!
703
00:49:07,060 --> 00:49:11,099
Thank you, everyone.
My lords, ladies and gentlemen,
704
00:49:11,260 --> 00:49:15,492
we are here to honour
Mrs Justice Erskine-Brown and Claude,
705
00:49:15,660 --> 00:49:19,130
one of Her Majesty's Counsel
and learned in the law.
706
00:49:19,300 --> 00:49:21,256
- And Fred.
- What's that?
707
00:49:21,420 --> 00:49:26,335
My lords, ladies and gentlemen, we are
here also to honour Mr Fred Timson,
708
00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:31,449
leader of the Timson clan, that vast
family of South London villains, thieves
709
00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:33,895
and receivers of stolen property.
710
00:49:34,060 --> 00:49:37,177
- But no violence in your record?
- That's right.
711
00:49:37,340 --> 00:49:42,289
Mr Timson conducts his life
according to strict monetarist principles.
712
00:49:42,460 --> 00:49:45,691
- So I do.
- He does not believe in the closed shop.
713
00:49:45,860 --> 00:49:51,059
He believes shops should be open
at all hours, preferably with a jemmy.
714
00:49:51,220 --> 00:49:53,290
Too right, Mr Rumpole, yeah!
715
00:49:53,460 --> 00:49:58,215
But without Fred Timson and his like,
how many of us would be out of work?
716
00:49:58,380 --> 00:50:02,612
How many brother judges,
how many of Her Majesty's Counsel?
717
00:50:02,780 --> 00:50:04,736
How many coppers?
718
00:50:04,900 --> 00:50:07,255
How many humble Old Bailey hacks?
719
00:50:08,100 --> 00:50:13,015
Indeed, we may all be bundled out on
to the Embankment in cardboard boxes!
720
00:50:13,180 --> 00:50:16,934
So, my lords, ladies and gentlemen,
charge your glasses.
721
00:50:17,100 --> 00:50:19,819
I give you a toast to Fred Timson and...
722
00:50:21,340 --> 00:50:23,410
...the criminals of England!
723
00:50:23,580 --> 00:50:25,696
- Rumpole!
- Really, Rumpole!
724
00:50:25,860 --> 00:50:28,169
That's unprofessional conduct.
725
00:50:28,340 --> 00:50:31,013
Well done, Rumpole. Up the workers!
726
00:50:31,180 --> 00:50:34,092
Cheer up. Mr Rumpole just made a joke!
727
00:50:34,260 --> 00:50:36,216
Will he never learn?
728
00:50:37,100 --> 00:50:39,739
I'm afraid... never!
729
00:50:40,740 --> 00:50:46,451
I'm rather surprised that OIlie turned up.
Now he's had his apology, he's satisfied.
730
00:50:47,420 --> 00:50:50,516
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