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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,356 (Footsteps) 3 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,452 Rumpole! 4 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,053 Rumpole! 5 00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:11,653 Yes? 6 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,936 - Can you hear something? - Yes. 7 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:17,058 - What? - I can hear you, Hilda, you. 8 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,176 (Loud slam) 9 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,132 Rumpole! 10 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,297 - What is it now? - There's someone in the flat. 11 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:29,497 - Yes, we are. We usually are at night. - Ssh! 12 00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:32,891 Don't shush me! I didn't start this conversation! 13 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:35,016 - Don't you hear? - Hear what? 14 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:37,455 - Sounds. - Be not afraid, Hilda. 15 00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:42,375 The flat is full of noises, sounds and sweet airs that delight and hurt not. 16 00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:45,498 Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments 17 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:48,697 will hum about thine ears and sometimes voices 18 00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:53,536 that if I then had waked after long sleep will make me sleep again... I hope! 19 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,453 No doubt one of your business associates. 20 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,656 - What do you mean? - A burglar! 21 00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:01,937 Why don't you go and find out what he's after? 22 00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:06,097 - No need to disturb the fella. - Are you afraid? 23 00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:09,058 There is no burglar. You've been dreaming. 24 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:11,609 - Prove it. - I can't. I'm asleep. 25 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:15,730 Or is that a job you'd rather leave to a woman? 26 00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:30,136 (Footsteps) 27 00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:35,739 Oh! 28 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,730 All right, guv, it's a fair cop! 29 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,812 Just like you to make a joke out of burglars! 30 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,369 The TV set still seems to be with us. 31 00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:47,338 - Did you leave that window open? - Yes. No. 32 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:50,651 I can't remember. I'd make a terrible witness! 33 00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:51,969 Ah! 34 00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:56,018 - That is odd. - What is? 35 00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:59,217 My brief for the Queen versus Joby Jonson. 36 00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:01,336 No one's stolen that. 37 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,456 - No, but... - But what? 38 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:07,852 I left it in my briefcase. Somebody's been at it. That's not my bow! 39 00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:10,932 It isn't how I leave a brief I was working on. 40 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:14,615 Chequebook, Mrs O'Thingummy's money untouched. 41 00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:18,372 - There's nothing missing. - Something is. 42 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:19,495 What? 43 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:24,017 Proof of evidence of Joby Jonson, alleged robber of pensioners. 44 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:30,050 His statement of defence, such as it was, has melted into air, into thin air. 45 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:32,176 So somebody WAS here? 46 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:35,173 Yes, you're usually right, of course. 47 00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,296 Somebody was. 48 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:43,499 Any sort of news in the paper, Philly? 49 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:47,858 Some sort of news. War in Bulgaria, earthquakes in South America, 50 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:49,976 new threat of global warming. 51 00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:54,770 No, I mean important news. The list of the new QCs, for instance. 52 00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,898 Ah, well... Look for yourself. 53 00:04:58,740 --> 00:05:02,050 No. No, I don't want to look for myself, Philly. 54 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:04,893 I'm not brave enough to look for myself. 55 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:09,338 I don't think I could put up with another disappointment. 56 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:14,176 "The list of new Queen's Counsel will be announced next month. 57 00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:16,490 "It's expected to include..." 58 00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:17,615 Me? 59 00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:23,298 "Tabitha Merryweather, the brilliant Ghanaian women's civil rights lawyer." 60 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:26,975 - Nothing to say I'll get it. - You've asked often enough! 61 00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:31,179 - Only five times. - You'll probably get it for persistence. 62 00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:35,458 - We all know you got it first time. - Bit of a fluke actually. 63 00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,657 No, not a fluke. It's because you're a woman. 64 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:55,377 Doin' your fitness classes, is you, Joby? 65 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:59,089 Getting into shape to beat up someone else's granny? 66 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:02,616 Brave boy. Goin' three rounds with an old lady... 67 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:05,613 - I never. - Are you arguin' with us, boy? 68 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,736 I haven't been convicted. 69 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,733 Oh, he's innocent! Hear that, Snouty? 70 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:14,779 They got you down as a granny basher. Do you wanna argue? 71 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:20,375 Not here with you, Snouty. Just in court. My brief's gonna get me off. 72 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,496 Oh, leave it out, will you? 73 00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:26,539 You put your hands up in court. You've got no alternative. 74 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:30,739 Trust us, sunshine. You've got no better brief than we are. 75 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:38,895 - Ah, Erskine-Brown. - Ballard. 76 00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:42,689 Your name cropped up when I was speaking to old Keith 77 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,294 from the Lord Chancellor's office. 78 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,769 Did it, Ballard? Did it really? 79 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:53,060 He was interested in my views, as Head of Chambers, on your application for silk. 80 00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:58,977 Interested? Was he really interested? They're taking my application seriously? 81 00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:03,895 Naturally. Keith was saying it's become an annual event. Like Christmas! 82 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:06,290 You mean they look forward to it? 83 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:11,090 Let's say they give it their serious consideration 84 00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,650 and I was able to let him have my views, fairly fully. 85 00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:17,209 Thank you very much, Ballard. 86 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:22,135 Yes. I said I did not think there would be any repetition of the incidents 87 00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:24,495 in which you'd been involved in, 88 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:29,017 such as the complaint lodged by our new typist, Miss Clapton. 89 00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:33,651 You told Keith from the Lord Chancellor's department about Dot? 90 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,776 Yes. I felt it was my duty. 91 00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:40,968 Evidence the Lord Chancellor might have to consider of your lack of gravitas. 92 00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:43,017 - My lack of what? - Bottom. 93 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:46,934 It might indicate that you are not fundamentally sound. 94 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:51,173 You said that to Keith from the Lord Chancellor's department? 95 00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:54,332 And I said it in your own best interests. 96 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,616 You pompous prick! 97 00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:02,012 - I don't think I heard that. - Oh, yes, you did. 98 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:06,298 If you don't know what it means, I suggest you ask Dot Clapton. 99 00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:11,409 It's a view of your character quite commonly held at Number 3 Equity Court. 100 00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:16,208 Pompous... what exactly? 101 00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:23,856 - What have you done to your face? - Accident. 102 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:27,057 Oh, yes? Mistook it for an ashtray, did you? 103 00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,176 That's right, yeah. 104 00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:32,093 We can help you complain to the Governor. 105 00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:37,209 Leave it out. You leave it out an' all! You want to get me killed or something? 106 00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:41,771 No, strange as it may seem, Joby, we're trying to get you off! 107 00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:45,296 Now, then... "A Mrs Louisa Parsons, aged 75, 108 00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:50,409 "living at an end house, No.1 Pondicherry Road behind Euston Station, 109 00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:54,937 "answered a ring at her front door on the morning of October 19th. 110 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:59,776 "A youth was there who said, 'You still living here? ' and then ran off. 111 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:05,094 "Later, a person she identifies as the same youth, his face partially covered, 112 00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:09,936 "again rang her doorbell, and when she answered it, forced his way in, 113 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:13,490 "punched her in the face and stomach..." Charming! 114 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:19,098 "...tied her up, kicked her, broke most of the crockery and some of the furniture, 115 00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:24,698 "and left with Mrs Parsons' post office savings book with a balance of �5.79. 116 00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:28,773 "She later identified the defendant Joby Jonson 117 00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:32,819 "at an identification parade in Euston nick." 118 00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:37,531 That is the first time I set my eyes on the old bat, at the ID parade. 119 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:41,249 Joby, it might be as well when you're giving evidence 120 00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:45,208 to resist the temptation to call the victim "an old bat". 121 00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:48,258 It is not likely to endear you to the jury. 122 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:53,289 Have you got a spare copy of Joby's statement? Mine walked in the night! 123 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,020 The defence is an alibi, if you remember. 124 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,490 - You read what I said? - Yes, Joby, of course I did. 125 00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:03,448 Over the last few months it's been my sole bedtime study. 126 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:07,499 "So far as I can remember..." That's a promising start! 127 00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:10,254 "At the time Mrs Parsons was attacked, 128 00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:14,208 "I was hanging about near the superloo in Euston Station 129 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:18,009 "with three girls who were singing and dancing a bit." 130 00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,456 Mr Bernard says that you was a brilliant brief. 131 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,815 Can't you even get me off on this? 132 00:10:23,980 --> 00:10:28,735 I may well be a brilliant brief, Joby, but I am unable to walk on water 133 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,573 or transmute base metals into gold. 134 00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:34,300 Nor can I make use of a so-called alibi 135 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:37,418 which ignores the most important evidence! 136 00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:42,654 - What's that meant to be then? - Your palm print on Mrs Parsons' door. 137 00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,696 Yeah, well... 138 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:52,259 I'm not for puttin' me hands up. As long as that's clear! 139 00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:56,776 I don't care what they says! Have you got that? 140 00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:07,889 Not exactly the most likeable young man, Mr Rumpole! 141 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:11,689 Mr Bernard, that is the understatement of the year. 142 00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:16,411 Do you know what's deteriorated since the good old, bad old days? 143 00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:21,813 The character of our young offenders. Where have all the Artful Dodgers gone? 144 00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:25,609 And where are all those cheerful cockney pickpockets 145 00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:30,729 who had thumbs in their waistcoats and said, "Whatcha, me old cock sparrow?" 146 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,856 It was a sad day for England 147 00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:36,979 when the Artful Dodgers turned into the Joby Jonsons. 148 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,096 - Dot... - Yes, Henry? 149 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:51,899 I couldn't have better staff than you. 150 00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:56,815 A senior clerk could not wish for more efficient staff or more pleasant 151 00:11:56,980 --> 00:12:01,496 and I've done my best to make you feel at home in Equity Court, but... 152 00:12:01,660 --> 00:12:05,130 A barristers' chambers is a barristers' chambers. 153 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:10,090 - Got some criticism of my typing? - Your typing is almost perfection. 154 00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:15,414 - Or the speed I get the fee notes out at? - You get them out at the speed of light. 155 00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:18,219 What I wanted to say was, well... 156 00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:23,770 Barristers! Some of them are what I suppose you'd call old-fashioned! 157 00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:26,215 - (Phone rings) - Old-fashioned? 158 00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:29,531 Museum pieces still in Y-fronts and braces! 159 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:32,134 Yeah, hello? 160 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,779 (Laughter) 161 00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:36,898 Something amusing you, Mr Erskine-Brown? 162 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:40,848 No, no. Really nothing, Dot. Honestly. It's just that... 163 00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:45,059 Well, I haven't had much to laugh at recently. That's all. 164 00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:51,130 I say, Dot, congratulations! 165 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:55,259 That's what chambers need - someone to make a statement. 166 00:12:55,420 --> 00:13:00,733 We're not all clones. We're not all imitation male lawyers in pin-stripes. 167 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,414 We're the sisterhood of free spirits! 168 00:13:03,580 --> 00:13:08,495 Are you, Miss Probert? I'm trying to get on with Mr Inchcape's typing. 169 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:12,539 Dot, a couple more pages of the particulars of negligence. 170 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,736 I'll make them my top priority. 171 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:19,849 Mr Rumpole, it's the office of the Under-Secretary at the Home Office. 172 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:23,137 Wonders if you could call in for a brief word? 173 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:27,418 Tell him we'll try and fit him in with my other engagements. 174 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:32,938 I'll have to call you back when I find a window of time in Mr Rumpole's diary. 175 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,250 - Henry... - Yes, Mr Ballard? 176 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:39,299 I'm calling a chambers meeting on a most serious situation. 177 00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,769 I hope you will all be able to attend. 178 00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:46,491 I don't know. Depends on my business with Her Majesty's Government. 179 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,175 Tom Mottram, Under-Secretary, Home Affairs, 180 00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:54,618 with special responsibility for prisons. I try to keep them in! 181 00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:59,058 Horace Rumpole, counsel for the defence. I try to keep them out! 182 00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:04,692 Very good. Wasn't that good? Elspeth Dodds, Parliamentary Private Secretary. 183 00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:07,818 - Hello. - Do come and sit down, Mr Rumpole. 184 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:12,899 You may have wondered why I asked you to drop by. Please... 185 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,812 Thank you. 186 00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,658 It's about a young lad called Joby Jonson. 187 00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:21,175 Oh, really? 188 00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:24,173 I'm a constituency MP. I hope a good one. 189 00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:29,368 I've had Joby Jonson's mother at my surgery week in, week out, poor woman. 190 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:32,930 - She really is quite distracted. - I expect she is. 191 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:36,172 I told her I'd see he was properly defended. 192 00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:39,059 I'm delighted you're appearing for him. 193 00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:44,499 You'll see he doesn't make things worse by putting up some stupid defence. 194 00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:49,734 - Can I tell her he's well looked after? - Yes, he's having the time of his life! 195 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:51,856 Banged up for 23 hours a day 196 00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:55,330 in a seven-foot cell with a couple of chamber pots 197 00:14:55,500 --> 00:15:00,335 and a sworn enemy who passes the time by stubbing cigarettes out on his face. 198 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,539 And, of course, Joby Jonson is entirely innocent. 199 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:08,329 Innocent? That's interesting. Is that your view? 200 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,377 As innocent as we all are 201 00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:15,295 until 12 fellow citizens come back into court and tell him he's guilty. 202 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:21,012 You're giving us your courtroom performance. Good. Isn't it, Elspeth? 203 00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,932 Very good indeed. 204 00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:28,015 I was trying to point out the conditions endured by prisoners on remand. 205 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:32,731 Oh, worse than 100 years ago. We know that. Don't we, Elspeth? 206 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:37,416 Only too well. And our minister would be the first to agree with you. 207 00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:40,413 Then why doesn't he do something about it? 208 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:43,174 Unfortunately, we live in a democracy. 209 00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:47,458 We listen to the instructions of our masters with the votes. 210 00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:51,898 So we leave prison reform to the private sector. People like you. 211 00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:54,016 - And Seb Pilgrim. - Who? 212 00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:57,172 You don't know Seb? He runs YERT. 213 00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,251 Runs what? 214 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:04,619 Youth Enterprise Reform Trust. You must've heard of Sir Sebastian Pilgrim. 215 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:08,659 He's a splendid fellow. He carried his bat for England. 216 00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:13,177 He does wonderful things with hopeless cases like Joby Jonson. 217 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:19,097 Teaches them cricket, gives them pride in themselves, reforms their characters. 218 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,570 - You two should get together. - Do you think so? 219 00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:25,334 I've never carried my bat for anywhere. 220 00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:28,296 (Alarm goes off) 221 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,213 Hilda! What's wrong? Is there an air raid? 222 00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:34,099 Don't be silly. It's perfectly simple. 223 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:37,491 You just press 34896 and the yellow button 224 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,379 and you see it's... quiet immediately. 225 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:44,089 What else have you installed? Death rays, man traps? 226 00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:48,936 Will you sit in the kitchen all night with a double-barrelled shotgun? 227 00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:53,298 You have to give the criminal classes a chance to earn a living! 228 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,613 - Oh, hello. - Good afternoon, Mr Rumpole. 229 00:16:57,780 --> 00:17:01,819 Kensington CID, DS Appleby. Your wife called us in again. 230 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:07,054 Seems the villains have turned against you. Been losing their cases, sir? 231 00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:08,778 Very amusing. 232 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:12,489 I insisted Mr Appleby came to look for fingerprints. 233 00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,696 - Tea, Mr Appleby? - Thank you. 234 00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:19,092 A very thorough investigator. She knows my job better than I do. 235 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:23,617 Yes, Mrs Rumpole is one of nature's detective superintendents. 236 00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:28,456 Don't worry about it. Almost certainly a professional wearing gloves. 237 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:32,659 And didn't take anything of value? Just some of your papers? 238 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,776 Who'd be interested in that? 239 00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:36,692 (Phone rings) 240 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,579 I've been wondering about that myself. 241 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,539 Hello? Yes, Rumpole speaking. 242 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:52,176 What? Sir Sebastian Pilgrim wants a word with me? What about? 243 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:58,249 Joby Jonson? Yes, all right. Join the queue. 244 00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:01,253 - A pompous prick? - I called him that. 245 00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:03,456 Our Head of Chambers. 246 00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:06,498 And the next table was full of solicitors. 247 00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:10,619 That was the most persuasive and accurately phrased speech 248 00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:14,250 you ever made down the Old Bailey, and the shortest. 249 00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,809 He told Keith that I have no bottom. 250 00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:19,130 He's got enough for both of you. 251 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,734 That I wasn't fundamentally sound. 252 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:26,451 I should tell the Lord Chancellor a few home truths about our leader. 253 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:31,296 The fact that he's a smarmy, hypocritical, God-bothering vegetarian? 254 00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:35,055 No, the time for action has come, the hour of decision. 255 00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:38,212 Oh... Philly, what does that mean exactly? 256 00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:41,656 It means, Claude, I am on the case. 257 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,216 Mr Rumpole? 258 00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:52,290 - That's me. - I'm Fred Bry. 259 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,736 I've come to take you to Sir Sebastian Pilgrim. 260 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,856 Thank you. 261 00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:28,135 Yours, Mr Rumpole! 262 00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:33,250 - No, I'm sure it's yours. - Fancy a go at the wicket? 263 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:37,379 Not in the least. I'm allergic to any form of sport. 264 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:40,816 Except for teasing Her Majesty's judges. 265 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,448 You're very famous among our lads. 266 00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:48,936 - You're not allergic to a drink, I hope? - I thought you'd never ask! 267 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:54,413 I'm sorry, Mr Rumpole. The lads have voted this a smoke-free zone. 268 00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:57,572 What are you running here? A monastery? 269 00:19:57,740 --> 00:20:02,814 Very funny. Delightful wit. That's what old Tom Mottram told me about you. 270 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:08,338 No, I don't make the rules. The boys do. Self-discipline is the name of the game. 271 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,095 - I thought it was cricket! - No alcohol, no smoking. 272 00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:14,820 And if anyone is found dropping an E... 273 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,494 - A what? - Ecstasy. 274 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:22,893 Anyone indulging in any sort of drug gets a hard time from the other fellas. 275 00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:25,813 It's no good imposing rules from above. 276 00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:28,653 How's the coffee? 277 00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:32,529 I'm afraid we're not up to your gastronomic standards. 278 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,817 We have more important things to think about. 279 00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:37,936 Yes, like Joby Jonson. 280 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:42,059 Ah, yes, Joby. I must admit I'm worried about Joby. 281 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,176 Most people seem to be. 282 00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:49,698 What we find here is that the first step to reform is to admit to what you've done. 283 00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:52,328 - If only to your mates. - Plead guilty? 284 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,934 Even if you only admit it to yourself. 285 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:58,649 Look over there, what we call our quiet corner. 286 00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:02,779 - What is it, a prayer meeting? - Yeah, something like that. 287 00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:06,535 The lads over there are coming out with all their crime, 288 00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:10,659 they talk it through, and Fred tells them where that leads. 289 00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:13,539 - Your driver? - And Fred should know. 290 00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:16,851 He'd done six years for robbery when I took him on. 291 00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:20,410 So you believe confession's good for the soul? 292 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,333 - Don't you? - Oh, perhaps. 293 00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,890 It's not much good at keeping you out of the nick. 294 00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:31,815 If you could just get him to admit what he's done, if only to himself, 295 00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:35,290 to face up to it and not to tell any silly lies, 296 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:38,930 it could be the beginning of his way back to reality. 297 00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:42,251 Or the beginning of about five years in chokey! 298 00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:47,653 He's come here often. He's had his talking sessions with Fred and the others. 299 00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:52,132 I just don't want to write him off as one of my failures. 300 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:55,770 - I'm sure we want what's best for him. - I'm sure. 301 00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:59,170 Tell me, what can I do to help? 302 00:22:00,020 --> 00:22:03,217 Well, I could call you as a character witness. 303 00:22:03,380 --> 00:22:06,338 More impressive than a shrink or the vicar. 304 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:10,778 "I call Sir Sebastian Pilgrim who carried his bat for England." 305 00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:14,615 You can count on me, Mr Rumpole. You can count on me. 306 00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:18,057 You were talking about Joby? You and Seb? 307 00:22:18,220 --> 00:22:21,815 Oh, erm, yes, we were. Yes. 308 00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:26,451 A big disappointment to us, Joby. Terrible disappointment. 309 00:22:27,540 --> 00:22:31,852 We did our best with Joby - Seb and me. We both tried hard. 310 00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:35,251 So, it's over to you now, Mr Rumpole. 311 00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:40,013 Get the boy to own up to what he's done. It's the only way. 312 00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:44,696 Certain standards of civilisation have to be kept at Equity Court. 313 00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:48,091 We couldn't have people turning up in war paint. 314 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:50,774 No, Sam. You're absolutely right. 315 00:22:50,940 --> 00:22:53,818 Thank you very much, Mrs Erskine-Brown. 316 00:22:53,980 --> 00:22:56,574 - I don't see why not. - What, Rumpole? 317 00:22:56,740 --> 00:23:01,860 I don't see why not! I'm all for anything that adds drama to the surroundings! 318 00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:05,251 If you'd come in this morning wearing war paint, 319 00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:08,890 waving an assegai on your way to a bloody summons... 320 00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:12,939 Rumpole, we are at something of a crisis in Equity Court! 321 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,615 We could be off down the slippery slope towards... 322 00:23:16,780 --> 00:23:17,929 What? 323 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:21,012 - Suede shoes. - What? 324 00:23:21,180 --> 00:23:26,174 There are men in Miles Crudgington's set who go into chambers in suede shoes. 325 00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:29,537 - Shock, horror! - You see where this can lead to! 326 00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:32,737 Yes, Sam, that is the most terrible warning. 327 00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:35,130 I agree with you, Ballard. 100�% . 328 00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:39,578 Dot was making an unacceptable statement of female submission. 329 00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:42,334 It was nothing but a kind of harem signal 330 00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:46,778 to any would-be sheikh foolish enough to take her up on the offer. 331 00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:51,570 Dot's nose, not to put too fine a point on it, is politically incorrect. 332 00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:55,289 Erskine-Brown, do you not have an opinion on this? 333 00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:59,294 I don't imagine I have enough bottom to express an opinion. 334 00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:01,416 - Enough what? - Gravitas. 335 00:24:01,580 --> 00:24:05,129 - Ballard doesn't think I've got enough. - Gravitas? 336 00:24:05,300 --> 00:24:08,736 Sounds like a breakfast food! Sorry, must be off. 337 00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:13,849 Can't spend any more time on this discussion, fascinating though it may be! 338 00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:19,094 I suggest we leave all further action in this matter to our Head of Chambers. 339 00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:22,730 I'm sure Sam will deal with it with his usual wisdom. 340 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:26,609 - Are you feeling quite well, Portia? - Perfectly well. 341 00:24:26,780 --> 00:24:30,409 I'm positive Sam can be trusted to have a tactful word 342 00:24:30,580 --> 00:24:33,697 in the appropriate quarter, can't you, Sam? 343 00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:36,776 Oh, Inchcape! 344 00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:42,610 You... You didn't say what you thought about the rich ornament 345 00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:44,975 in Dorothea Clapton's nostril. 346 00:24:45,140 --> 00:24:48,291 To be honest, I never even noticed it was there. 347 00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:50,416 - Did you not? - No. 348 00:24:50,580 --> 00:24:52,855 How very interesting. 349 00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:58,097 Hello, Dot. I just popped in to see what's on for tomorrow. 350 00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:00,091 I wanted your advice. 351 00:25:00,260 --> 00:25:06,096 I don't have any opinion. I suppose it does add a touch of colour to chambers. 352 00:25:06,260 --> 00:25:09,616 - What adds colour? - Nothing in particular. 353 00:25:09,780 --> 00:25:13,011 About my dad. He lives not far from here actually. 354 00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:16,411 I thought you and Henry hailed from Bexleyheath. 355 00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:20,016 My mum lives there. They split up when I was seven. 356 00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:23,650 - I'm sorry to hear that. - It wasn't a great tragedy. 357 00:25:23,820 --> 00:25:28,769 My dad's an awkward customer. Calling him bloody-minded is a compliment! 358 00:25:28,940 --> 00:25:31,056 They want to do a new development down his street, 359 00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:34,098 but he won't sell his house. 360 00:25:34,260 --> 00:25:38,014 Tells them he's too old to move, tells them to sod off! 361 00:25:38,180 --> 00:25:40,410 Well, that's property law, Dot. 362 00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:45,256 It's hardly my "specialit� de la maison". If he had committed a murder... 363 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:48,856 Perhaps he will if they go on asking him to sell up! 364 00:25:49,020 --> 00:25:52,695 They send people round telling him he's got to move. 365 00:25:52,860 --> 00:25:55,328 They ring on his doorbell all hours. 366 00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:59,459 It must be highly irritating. Where does he live exactly? 367 00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:01,895 - MacGlinty Terrace. - Oh, yes. 368 00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:04,176 Round behind Euston Station. 369 00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:07,770 Do you know the area? 370 00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:10,852 I think I might do, yes. 371 00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:13,614 You were superb today, Sam. 372 00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:16,817 - Thank you, Mrs Erskine-Brown. - Phyllida. 373 00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:20,450 - Yes, of course. Phyllida. - Think nothing of it. 374 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:25,853 What I admired was how you dominated the proceedings, yet everything was fun. 375 00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:28,534 I try to make our meetings enjoyable. 376 00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:32,454 And you succeed. I suppose it's just your personality. 377 00:26:32,620 --> 00:26:34,451 Really? 378 00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:39,455 All these years that you and I have been the only two silks in chambers, 379 00:26:39,620 --> 00:26:43,295 do you know, we've never had lunch together? 380 00:26:43,460 --> 00:26:47,089 - Doesn't that strike you as strange? - No. Not really. 381 00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:50,491 You're a member of Inner Temple, I'm at Gray's Inn, 382 00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:53,094 so we never had lunch in the same place. 383 00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:55,330 Sam, why don't you invite me? 384 00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:59,060 All right then, Phyllida. I will. 385 00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:03,410 There's a very nice health food bar in Fetter Lane. 386 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:06,936 Oh, that doesn't sound terribly romantic to me. 387 00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:10,376 - What about the Savoy Grill? - The Savoy Grill? 388 00:27:10,540 --> 00:27:13,373 That's the one. I thought you'd never ask! 389 00:27:19,780 --> 00:27:24,808 There's a profile of one of your friends here. You ought to be proud of him. 390 00:27:24,980 --> 00:27:28,768 - What friend is that? - Not one of your criminal classes. 391 00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:33,218 Not one of your burglars who entered by the fire escape to rob us. 392 00:27:33,380 --> 00:27:37,532 This is someone to be proud of. You might invite him to dinner. 393 00:27:37,700 --> 00:27:39,656 Invite who to dinner? 394 00:27:39,820 --> 00:27:44,018 Sir Sebastian Pilgrim, one-time all-rounder for England. 395 00:27:44,180 --> 00:27:49,379 Spends much of his time trying to reform young criminals. You don't do that. 396 00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:53,215 - That isn't your sort of thing. - Neither is cricket. 397 00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:58,056 He's also a brilliant businessman, Chairman of Maiden Over Holdings. 398 00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:01,690 Seb told his shareholders, "I believe in England." 399 00:28:01,860 --> 00:28:07,014 Good for him. I suppose the rest of us think it's a figment of our imagination! 400 00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:12,618 He was in partnership with Tom Mottram until Mr Mottram joined the government. 401 00:28:12,780 --> 00:28:17,456 They're planning to build a multi-storey hotel and shopping centre. 402 00:28:17,620 --> 00:28:22,853 Tom Mottram! Do they say where this monstrous carbuncle is to be dumped? 403 00:28:23,020 --> 00:28:27,616 - Are you thinking of investing? - Perhaps a little of my time. 404 00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:30,775 Behind Euston Station. 405 00:28:34,780 --> 00:28:39,808 I've been away such a lot doing these boring big cases all over the world, 406 00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:44,337 - I didn't realise what I was missing. - What were you missing? 407 00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:47,617 Well, to be honest, Sam, my Head of Chambers. 408 00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:50,613 - The Head? - Well, in a word, you. 409 00:28:50,780 --> 00:28:56,173 I do think about you quite a lot when I'm all alone in places like Hong Kong. 410 00:28:56,340 --> 00:28:58,570 You think about me in Hong Kong? 411 00:28:58,740 --> 00:29:01,698 - You don't mind? - No, Mrs Erskine-Brown. 412 00:29:01,860 --> 00:29:02,815 Phyllida. 413 00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:07,849 You can think about whoever you like, but I've never been to Hong Kong. 414 00:29:08,020 --> 00:29:10,488 Oh, yes, you have. In my thoughts. 415 00:29:11,380 --> 00:29:13,336 Really? 416 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:16,576 I didn't know. 417 00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:21,689 Sam, I can see you've had lots of practice chatting up women over lunch. 418 00:29:21,860 --> 00:29:26,570 Not really, no. I quite often send Miss Clapton out for sandwiches. 419 00:29:27,420 --> 00:29:32,733 I've asked Henry to have a tactful word with her about the subject we discussed. 420 00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:34,970 - Her nose? - Yes, exactly. 421 00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:38,974 Splendid. Takes a real man to act as decisively as that. 422 00:29:39,140 --> 00:29:44,260 Claude believes he might do better with the Lord Chancellor if he were a woman. 423 00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:46,980 - I think that's very silly. - So do I. 424 00:29:47,140 --> 00:29:51,611 - Claude couldn't possibly be a woman. - He'd find it very difficult. 425 00:29:51,780 --> 00:29:54,374 He should settle down to being himself. 426 00:29:54,540 --> 00:29:56,895 I think that's what he's afraid of. 427 00:29:57,060 --> 00:30:01,372 He said you had a chat about his application with dear old Keith. 428 00:30:01,540 --> 00:30:03,770 Yes, he didn't seem too pleased. 429 00:30:03,940 --> 00:30:07,933 He used an expression I couldn't repeat in a public place. 430 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:10,136 Yes, he called you a pom... 431 00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:13,610 Phyllida, Phyllida! Pas devant le waiter! 432 00:30:13,780 --> 00:30:16,419 - Is this champagne? - Of course it is. 433 00:30:16,580 --> 00:30:18,935 - Did I order it? - Of course you did. 434 00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:21,694 I think you wanted to celebrate the fact 435 00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:25,648 that we're going out together at long, long last. 436 00:30:25,820 --> 00:30:29,176 Causes a rather curious sensation in the nose. 437 00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:32,537 Forgive Claude. He had a deprived childhood. 438 00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:36,978 That's the sort of language chaps pick up at Winchester! Hmm! 439 00:30:37,140 --> 00:30:40,576 You, erm... You didn't think he ought to take silk? 440 00:30:41,660 --> 00:30:44,220 In his own best interests, Phyllida. 441 00:30:44,380 --> 00:30:47,770 You're fibbing. You were thinking entirely of me. 442 00:30:47,940 --> 00:30:51,933 - Was I? - You thought I'd get less leading briefs 443 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,056 with Claude competing, hmm? 444 00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:59,294 Look, I want to be entirely honest with you, now we've become real friends. 445 00:30:59,460 --> 00:31:00,939 Do you? 446 00:31:01,100 --> 00:31:05,173 Of course I do. And I want you to be the first to know. 447 00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:08,650 I shan't be looking for leading briefs in future. 448 00:31:08,820 --> 00:31:11,254 - You shan't? - I'm leaving the Bar. 449 00:31:11,420 --> 00:31:14,537 - Phyllida! - For good. I've made up my mind. 450 00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:17,851 Don't look so sad. I'm not leaving the country. 451 00:31:18,020 --> 00:31:19,976 We'll still be able to meet. 452 00:31:20,140 --> 00:31:24,099 And you know what might make it really easy for me? 453 00:31:24,260 --> 00:31:25,818 Easy? 454 00:31:25,980 --> 00:31:30,098 If Claude were away in, let's say, Hong Kong, 455 00:31:30,260 --> 00:31:33,775 doing leading briefs for long periods of time, 456 00:31:33,940 --> 00:31:36,374 you and I could have lunch together. 457 00:31:36,540 --> 00:31:38,656 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 458 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:43,056 Yes, Phyllida, I believe I would. 459 00:31:43,220 --> 00:31:47,452 Well, look, do me a small favour. Help us both. 460 00:31:47,620 --> 00:31:49,292 How? 461 00:31:49,460 --> 00:31:54,215 Just pick up the phone to dear old Keith in the Lord Chancellor's office. 462 00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:59,534 Tell him there is no objection to Claude being wrapped in silk, even if he's a man. 463 00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:03,056 That would make it easier and help you and Claude? 464 00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:06,849 It would help you and me, Sam, considerably. 465 00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:13,256 Here's to us both. 466 00:32:17,420 --> 00:32:20,457 Regina versus Jonson coming up next, Mr Rumpole. 467 00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:23,657 - Yes, indeed. - Doesn't look like a winner. 468 00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:26,209 No, and be warned, Mr Bernard. 469 00:32:27,220 --> 00:32:30,690 We are up against one of the most subtle tacticians - 470 00:32:30,860 --> 00:32:34,011 the "artfullest" dodger down the Old Bailey. 471 00:32:34,180 --> 00:32:38,219 - Who's that, Mr Rumpole? - Mrs Phyllida Erskine-Brown, QC. 472 00:32:38,380 --> 00:32:40,336 The Portia of our chambers. 473 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:44,778 A silk to prosecute. They're putting us up before the red judge. 474 00:32:44,940 --> 00:32:48,489 I heard a whisper our boy was getting star treatment. 475 00:32:48,660 --> 00:32:51,094 Mugging is the flavour of the month. 476 00:32:51,260 --> 00:32:55,538 The powers that be want to show they're all terribly concerned. 477 00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:59,295 Never despair, there are still a few things we can do. 478 00:32:59,460 --> 00:33:02,054 - Such as? - Just routine enquiries. 479 00:33:02,220 --> 00:33:04,688 Here you are. There! 480 00:33:04,860 --> 00:33:08,409 Get in touch with a Mr Clapton of MacGlinty Terrace. 481 00:33:08,580 --> 00:33:10,969 That's round near Euston Station. 482 00:33:11,140 --> 00:33:15,213 See how far that is from Pondicherry Road, would you? 483 00:33:15,380 --> 00:33:19,259 Oh, and discover everything you can about these people. 484 00:33:19,420 --> 00:33:21,456 What, Maiden Over Holdings? 485 00:33:21,620 --> 00:33:26,774 Maiden Over Holdings, yes. And any estate agents that they might employ. 486 00:33:26,940 --> 00:33:31,536 Oh, and while we're still on the subject of young Dawkins... 487 00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:33,975 And Dawkins. 488 00:33:34,140 --> 00:33:36,973 Dawkins? Who's Dawkins, Mr Rumpole? 489 00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:40,610 Oh, John Dawkins, the original Artful Dodger. 490 00:33:40,780 --> 00:33:45,456 Let us not forget that he was part of a much wider organisation 491 00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:49,295 being run from old Fagin's thieves' kitchen. 492 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,129 Have you had much experience with this judge, Portia? 493 00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:59,258 Graves? No, never been before him. Have you? 494 00:33:59,420 --> 00:34:01,376 To my deep regret. 495 00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:04,293 (Clerk) Silence in court! All stand! 496 00:34:05,700 --> 00:34:10,012 (Rumpole) Mr "Injustice" Graves is an absolute four-letter man! 497 00:34:10,180 --> 00:34:13,775 He's humourless, tedious, unsympathetic and unjust. 498 00:34:13,940 --> 00:34:17,569 In a word, our judge is a complete pain in the fundament! 499 00:34:17,740 --> 00:34:21,050 Mr Rumpole, it may come as a surprise to you to know 500 00:34:21,220 --> 00:34:25,293 that the acoustics in this court are absolutely perfect 501 00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:28,532 and my hearing is exceptionally keen. 502 00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:32,978 And I can hear absolutely every word that is spoken 503 00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:35,210 on counsels' benches. 504 00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:37,848 See what I mean? 505 00:34:39,020 --> 00:34:43,969 Henry! It's still there. I saw it this morning, the undesirable ornament. 506 00:34:44,140 --> 00:34:46,734 You were going to speak to Miss Clapton. 507 00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:49,937 Didn't the meeting decide you would do that? 508 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:53,012 Yes, and I deputed the task to you, Henry. 509 00:34:53,180 --> 00:34:56,456 No, sir, that is well outside clerking duties. 510 00:34:56,620 --> 00:35:00,295 It's not for me to make personal remarks to valued staff. 511 00:35:00,460 --> 00:35:03,896 Very well, I shall have to do it myself, but not now. 512 00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:07,018 I'm due before the recorder in ten minutes. 513 00:35:07,180 --> 00:35:11,651 - Is Mrs Erskine-Brown in this court? - Yes, prosecuting Mr Rumpole. 514 00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:16,974 I expect she'd appreciate it if I popped my head in and said "good morning". 515 00:35:18,660 --> 00:35:22,414 We say that Jonson viciously attacked this lady, 516 00:35:22,580 --> 00:35:24,889 old enough to be his grandmother, 517 00:35:25,060 --> 00:35:29,531 and robbed her of what were no doubt her small lifetime's savings. 518 00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:31,975 Five pounds seventy-nine pence. 519 00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:34,495 Did you say something, Mr Rumpole? 520 00:35:34,660 --> 00:35:39,814 I was just reminding my learned friend that the amount concerned is �5.79. 521 00:35:39,980 --> 00:35:44,292 Mr Rumpole, I have no doubt we shall be hearing from you later. 522 00:35:44,460 --> 00:35:48,339 Now I think we might let Mrs Erskine-Brown open her case 523 00:35:48,500 --> 00:35:53,369 without any more frivolous interruptions. Yes, Mrs Erskine-Brown? 524 00:35:56,100 --> 00:35:59,888 Yes... Mrs Erskine-Brown? 525 00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:08,610 It remains to be seen what sort of defence, if any, 526 00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:10,975 will be put forward for Jonson. 527 00:36:12,020 --> 00:36:17,094 It is alleged that while this appalling attack was taking place, 528 00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:21,458 Jonson was dancing with some girls from Manchester 529 00:36:21,620 --> 00:36:24,293 outside the superloo at Euston Station. 530 00:36:24,460 --> 00:36:27,930 What is a superloo exactly? 531 00:36:28,100 --> 00:36:31,729 It is, I believe, my lord, a kind of superior lavatory. 532 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:36,132 A kind of SUPERIOR lavatory, hmm... 533 00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:42,094 'MacGlinty Terrace, there we are, turning off Pondicherry Road.' 534 00:36:42,260 --> 00:36:44,330 Right behind Euston Station! 535 00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:50,132 - Did you say something, Mr Rumpole? - Nothing more at the moment, my lord. 536 00:36:56,860 --> 00:37:01,775 Some weeks later, Mrs Parsons, did you attend an identification parade? 537 00:37:01,940 --> 00:37:05,979 I did. The police officers were kind and made me a cup of tea. 538 00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:10,099 Did you identify the youth who visited you twice on the 19th 539 00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:12,410 and attacked you the second time? 540 00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:17,131 - There he is. - You are pointing to Joby Jonson. 541 00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:19,256 Thank you, Mrs Parsons. 542 00:37:19,420 --> 00:37:23,698 I managed to get copies of the letters to your friend Mr Clapton. 543 00:37:23,860 --> 00:37:27,933 Not a friend. Just the father of a friend. Thank you. 544 00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:31,536 I suppose you have questions, Mr Rumpole? 545 00:37:32,980 --> 00:37:37,337 Mrs Parsons, do you own your little house in Pondicherry Road? 546 00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:42,051 My husband saved for it. He was a booking clerk at the station. 547 00:37:42,220 --> 00:37:45,690 Were you not offered a lot of money for that house? 548 00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:50,775 I wasn't going to move, no matter how often they asked me. 549 00:37:50,940 --> 00:37:54,649 Now, Mrs Parsons, you say that on that morning, 550 00:37:54,820 --> 00:37:57,539 a young man rang at your front door 551 00:37:57,700 --> 00:38:01,170 and said, "Are you still living here, Mrs Parsons?" 552 00:38:01,340 --> 00:38:03,490 Yes, he did. 553 00:38:03,660 --> 00:38:06,174 Did you think there was any connection 554 00:38:06,340 --> 00:38:09,491 with the repeated requests to sell your house? 555 00:38:09,660 --> 00:38:13,653 - Not at the time, no. - My lord, the witness can't speculate. 556 00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:17,779 We should leave such flights of fancy to my learned friend. 557 00:38:17,940 --> 00:38:22,456 My sentiments entirely. Move on to the next matter, Mr Rumpole. 558 00:38:22,620 --> 00:38:26,090 Nice one, Portia. You've got him eating out of your hand! 559 00:38:26,260 --> 00:38:28,376 Mr Rumpole... 560 00:38:29,380 --> 00:38:31,814 I didn't hear that. 561 00:38:31,980 --> 00:38:35,017 Did you not, my lord? Must be the acoustics. 562 00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:40,812 Mrs Parsons, later that day, a young man rang at your door, then he attacked you. 563 00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:45,690 I heard the bell and thought, "He's back. I'll give him a piece of my mind!" 564 00:38:45,860 --> 00:38:49,296 You weren't frightened when you answered the door? 565 00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:53,248 Not then, no. I was when I saw him, though. 566 00:38:53,420 --> 00:38:54,899 Oh. Why? 567 00:38:55,060 --> 00:38:58,450 He had this... What do they call it? "Ballycava..." 568 00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:00,576 A balaclava, yes. 569 00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:05,336 Yes, you say in your statement that the caller's face was hidden. 570 00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:07,491 It was hidden a bit, yes. 571 00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:11,619 Well, Mrs Parsons, how do you know it was the same boy? 572 00:39:13,140 --> 00:39:15,859 Right, Joby, confession time. 573 00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,773 Confession is good for the soul, they say. 574 00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:23,138 Admit it. Somebody told you to go to Mrs Parsons' house and say, 575 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:26,929 "Are you still living here, Mrs Parsons?" And scarper. 576 00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:30,172 - What did you do in the afternoon? - I told you. 577 00:39:30,340 --> 00:39:32,296 Yes, for once, I believe you. 578 00:39:32,460 --> 00:39:36,419 Dropping an E you bought from some girls from Manchester, 579 00:39:36,580 --> 00:39:41,893 which led to some unseemly folk dancing outside the superloo in Euston Station. 580 00:39:42,060 --> 00:39:46,099 And doubtless a horrible reaction of shivering, thirst, 581 00:39:46,260 --> 00:39:48,820 and a certain loss of memory. 582 00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:51,938 How comes you know so much about doing an E? 583 00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:55,092 How come Mr Rumpole knows about everything? 584 00:39:55,260 --> 00:40:00,209 I know you went to that house in the morning. Your palm print was on the door. 585 00:40:00,380 --> 00:40:02,974 Mrs Parsons saw you and picked you out. 586 00:40:03,140 --> 00:40:08,134 I know you didn't go there in the afternoon because the group you work for 587 00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:12,737 were so desperate to find out our defence, they burgled my flat. 588 00:40:12,900 --> 00:40:15,460 They're scared you'll tell the truth 589 00:40:15,620 --> 00:40:19,738 that another lad came after you and did the serious business. 590 00:40:19,900 --> 00:40:23,609 You'll have to tell the truth before this case is over. 591 00:40:23,780 --> 00:40:26,135 What's this group you're on about? 592 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:32,136 Don't you play games with me, sunshine. You know perfectly well who I mean. 593 00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:35,497 - You are Sir Sebastian Pilgrim? - I am. 594 00:40:35,660 --> 00:40:38,811 And needing no introduction to us, I'm sure. 595 00:40:38,980 --> 00:40:44,054 At least not to those who witnessed your century against Pakistan at Lord's 596 00:40:44,220 --> 00:40:46,176 in your final test. 597 00:40:46,340 --> 00:40:48,900 I have no doubt the jury remember. 598 00:40:49,060 --> 00:40:51,494 And do you run an organisation 599 00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:55,289 called The Youth Enterprise And Reform Trust, 600 00:40:55,460 --> 00:40:59,738 allegedly to help young men who have fallen into criminal ways? 601 00:40:59,900 --> 00:41:05,418 Once again, Sir Sebastian, your wonderful work with YERT is well known. 602 00:41:05,580 --> 00:41:09,050 I do run that organisation to help delinquent boys. 603 00:41:09,220 --> 00:41:12,292 I don't know why Mr Rumpole says "allegedly". 604 00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:15,338 No doubt a slip of the tongue. Wasn't it? 605 00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,968 Not exactly, my lord, no. 606 00:41:18,140 --> 00:41:21,098 If I may go on, my meaning will become clear. 607 00:41:21,260 --> 00:41:24,616 Are you also the Chairman of Maiden Over Holdings 608 00:41:24,780 --> 00:41:28,090 which plans a development behind Euston Station 609 00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:31,332 - of a large hotel and a shopping centre? - I am. 610 00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:35,095 Weren't you having trouble with certain householders 611 00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:37,694 who refused to sell their homes to you 612 00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:41,296 to make way for this magnificent development? 613 00:41:41,460 --> 00:41:45,089 - No particular trouble. - Were you not? Usher! 614 00:41:46,580 --> 00:41:51,973 Do you employ, among others, a firm of estate agents called Jebber & Jonas? 615 00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:55,176 The name's familiar. 616 00:41:55,340 --> 00:41:58,696 - Do you employ them or not? - From time to time. 617 00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:01,499 Is that a letter from Jebber & Jonas 618 00:42:01,660 --> 00:42:04,777 to a Mr Peter Clapton of MacGlinty Terrace, 619 00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:08,979 asking him to sell his home to make way for a new development? 620 00:42:09,140 --> 00:42:13,099 - It would appear to be so. - Was that your hotel development? 621 00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:16,411 I don't know anyone else with similar plans. 622 00:42:16,580 --> 00:42:21,700 Perhaps no one else is so anxious to invest in the future of this great city. 623 00:42:21,860 --> 00:42:27,014 And was a Mrs Parsons of Pondicherry Road another householder 624 00:42:27,180 --> 00:42:30,411 who refused to sell her house to your company? 625 00:42:30,580 --> 00:42:32,935 - I really don't remember. - Do try. 626 00:42:33,100 --> 00:42:37,013 In any event, I'm sure she was made a very fair offer. 627 00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:39,933 Sir Sebastian, do you hold the view 628 00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:43,775 that delinquents should admit what they have done? 629 00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:47,296 Yes, I believe that is the start of reform. 630 00:42:47,460 --> 00:42:51,658 Do you want Joby Jonson to tell the truth about this case? 631 00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:53,094 Yes. 632 00:42:53,260 --> 00:42:55,820 Very well. He came to your club 633 00:42:55,980 --> 00:42:59,609 after having been in trouble over some minor matters? 634 00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:03,216 Yes. My lord, I thought there was some good in the lad. 635 00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:05,894 I hoped he might be a useful spin bowler. 636 00:43:06,060 --> 00:43:08,779 Not so useful as you, Sir Sebastian, 637 00:43:08,940 --> 00:43:13,013 if we remember the Australian wickets in 1975! 638 00:43:14,700 --> 00:43:17,897 Went down like ninepins, members of the jury! 639 00:43:18,060 --> 00:43:22,497 And a useful messenger to send around about your company's business. 640 00:43:22,660 --> 00:43:26,175 - Of course not. - Why not, Sir Sebastian? 641 00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:30,299 I don't wish to be unkind, but Joby's not the brightest lad, 642 00:43:30,460 --> 00:43:33,372 not a boy you could trust with any business. 643 00:43:33,540 --> 00:43:35,735 What sort of boy would you trust? 644 00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:37,891 I don't know what you mean. 645 00:43:38,060 --> 00:43:42,895 Who did you choose to terrorise Mrs Parsons into selling her house to you? 646 00:43:43,060 --> 00:43:44,254 What? 647 00:43:44,420 --> 00:43:49,096 Isn't that the sort of job you offer to enterprising young men? 648 00:43:49,260 --> 00:43:54,175 That is an absolutely ridiculous suggestion. There's no truth in it at all! 649 00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:59,289 Mr Rumpole, confine yourself to questions about your client's character. 650 00:43:59,460 --> 00:44:03,135 Delighted, my lord. Always anxious to please. 651 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:06,576 Well, I'm glad we can agree about some things. 652 00:44:06,740 --> 00:44:10,176 Joby Jonson's talents are strictly limited. 653 00:44:10,340 --> 00:44:14,891 Good enough perhaps to send round before lunch with a final warning, 654 00:44:15,060 --> 00:44:20,692 but the afternoon attack had to be done by another prot�g� in a balaclava helmet! 655 00:44:20,860 --> 00:44:23,454 Mr Rumpole, this is quite intolerable 656 00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:28,057 if you persist in trying to involve this distinguished gentleman 657 00:44:28,220 --> 00:44:32,179 in the terrible crime of which your client stands accused. 658 00:44:32,340 --> 00:44:35,537 That is not how we play the game in these courts. 659 00:44:35,700 --> 00:44:41,093 I'm so sorry, my lord. I have never entirely understood the rules of cricket! 660 00:44:46,860 --> 00:44:51,536 Oh, Dot! Give my regards to your dad. Tell him he's been a great help. 661 00:44:51,700 --> 00:44:56,091 - Are you going to win? - I have hopes, dare I say, great hopes! 662 00:44:56,260 --> 00:45:00,048 Tell him to watch out for young men in balaclava helmets. 663 00:45:00,220 --> 00:45:02,609 I reckon Dad can look after himself. 664 00:45:02,780 --> 00:45:06,534 - Good, good. By the way, Dot... - Yes, Mr Rumpole? 665 00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:10,136 We had a meeting about that ornament in your nose. 666 00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:12,370 - You never? - Yes, we did. 667 00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:15,737 Nothing much was decided, but Dave Inchcape... 668 00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:20,018 - Yes, Mr Rumpole? - He said he'd never even noticed it. 669 00:45:24,220 --> 00:45:27,178 Oh, Phyllida, I did it a couple of weeks ago. 670 00:45:27,340 --> 00:45:29,774 Congratulations. Did what exactly? 671 00:45:29,940 --> 00:45:33,330 Spoke to Keith from the Lord Chancellor's office. 672 00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:38,176 I told him that recently Claude had been showing a good deal of gravitas. 673 00:45:38,340 --> 00:45:41,298 - How about bottom? - Quite a lot of that too. 674 00:45:41,460 --> 00:45:43,769 Good. I'm glad you put that right. 675 00:45:43,940 --> 00:45:46,249 - Phyllida... Phyllida! - Hmm? 676 00:45:46,420 --> 00:45:51,369 So how about lunch? Honestly, it really is very nice in the health food bar 677 00:45:51,540 --> 00:45:53,929 and there's a little corner table. 678 00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:58,139 I wouldn't have to send a taxi back to chambers like last time 679 00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:01,019 for an extra sub from petty cash! 680 00:46:01,180 --> 00:46:06,652 Sorry, Ballard, I'm going to be too busy for lunches out in the foreseeable future. 681 00:46:16,100 --> 00:46:19,137 Could I just glance at "The Times"? 682 00:46:30,060 --> 00:46:32,528 Oh, I say! Fabulous day! 683 00:46:33,540 --> 00:46:36,134 Absolutely fabulous! 684 00:46:36,300 --> 00:46:39,770 Keep the change. Buy yourself a drink, old chap. 685 00:46:39,940 --> 00:46:41,896 Two drinks if necessary. 686 00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:46,815 With the compliments of one of Her Majesty's Counsel, learned in the law. 687 00:46:46,980 --> 00:46:51,531 # It's a hap-hap-happy day Toodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-ay... # 688 00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:58,691 Jonson, the jury have reached a verdict with which I entirely agree. 689 00:46:58,860 --> 00:47:02,409 You chose, through your representative, Mr Rumpole, 690 00:47:02,580 --> 00:47:05,333 to make an entirely unwarranted attack 691 00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:09,129 on a great British sportsman and public figure. 692 00:47:10,220 --> 00:47:15,613 A man who has devoted his life to the reform of youths such as yourself. 693 00:47:17,220 --> 00:47:22,340 Unhappily, you have proved to be quite unreformable. 694 00:47:23,620 --> 00:47:26,578 You will be detained for five years. 695 00:47:26,740 --> 00:47:28,696 Take him down. 696 00:47:31,260 --> 00:47:35,572 Bowled out, Bonnie Bernard, by the bloody umpire! 697 00:47:37,180 --> 00:47:39,136 (Types away furiously) 698 00:47:41,220 --> 00:47:43,370 Excuse me, sir. Thank you. 699 00:47:44,900 --> 00:47:48,688 (Claude) Rumpole! Hello there, dear old Rumpole. 700 00:47:48,860 --> 00:47:53,536 - You've read "The Times" today? - No, I've had other things on my mind. 701 00:47:53,700 --> 00:47:58,979 The silk list. I shall be leading you. I shall be sitting in front of you. 702 00:47:59,140 --> 00:48:03,213 Well, after today's result, I probably deserve it. 703 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,336 It's gone. Thank you, Henry. 704 00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:10,096 I said nothing, it not being my place to advise staff on such matters. 705 00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:13,013 Yes. No doubt she understood my feelings 706 00:48:13,180 --> 00:48:16,968 and now we have Miss Clapton's nose in a state of decency. 707 00:48:17,140 --> 00:48:20,735 - That's another problem solved. - My sole success! 708 00:48:20,900 --> 00:48:23,619 Oh, Erskine-Brown, congratulations. 709 00:48:23,780 --> 00:48:27,659 Thank you. It seems that gravitas is no longer called for. 710 00:48:27,820 --> 00:48:30,857 No, I meant your wife. You must be very proud. 711 00:48:31,020 --> 00:48:34,649 - What about Philly? - Haven't you seen the front page? 712 00:48:34,820 --> 00:48:37,539 No, I was only looking for the silk list. 713 00:48:38,580 --> 00:48:41,936 Good heavens! Well, she never told me. 714 00:48:42,100 --> 00:48:45,092 She never told anyone, not even her clerk. 715 00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:47,694 Oh, Portia, how thou art translated! 716 00:48:47,860 --> 00:48:52,411 So that's what she meant when she said she was leaving the Bar. 717 00:48:58,340 --> 00:49:00,900 (Clerk) Silence in court! All stand! 718 00:49:21,140 --> 00:49:23,335 If your ladyship pleases... 719 00:49:24,420 --> 00:49:26,376 Yes, Mr Erskine-Brown? 720 00:49:26,540 --> 00:49:31,898 Your ladyship has, of course, with your ladyship's usual firm judgment, 721 00:49:32,060 --> 00:49:35,132 put your finger upon the very nub of this case. 722 00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:40,373 Mr Erskine-Brown, if you have a point, please get to it. 723 00:49:40,540 --> 00:49:42,496 (Phone rings) 724 00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:53,458 Yes? Yes, Rumpole speaking. 725 00:49:53,620 --> 00:49:58,455 Oh, Detective Sergeant Appleby. No, no, I don't mind you ringing late. 726 00:50:00,100 --> 00:50:01,613 Hilda! 727 00:50:01,780 --> 00:50:04,340 Ssh, Rumpole, I'm meant to be asleep! 728 00:50:04,500 --> 00:50:08,334 You were right about the fingerprints. They found one! 729 00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:10,570 Hilda, are you awake? 730 00:50:10,740 --> 00:50:12,696 I am now. 731 00:50:12,860 --> 00:50:17,934 Thumbprint from someone sent down for robbery with violence many years ago, 732 00:50:18,100 --> 00:50:22,651 who drives for the great cricketer and reforms the young, Fred Bry. 733 00:50:22,820 --> 00:50:26,256 It was Fred Bry who entered our premises by night. 734 00:50:26,420 --> 00:50:28,888 You know what this means, don't you? 735 00:50:29,060 --> 00:50:32,894 It means the case of Joby Jonson is not entirely over! 736 00:50:33,060 --> 00:50:37,531 In which case, I'm very glad I had that burglar alarm installed. 737 00:50:37,700 --> 00:50:39,656 Good night, Rumpole. 738 00:50:44,700 --> 00:50:46,930 - Hilda... - Yes? 739 00:50:47,100 --> 00:50:50,649 - Are you still awake? - Yes, unfortunately. 740 00:50:50,820 --> 00:50:56,019 Thank you for insisting about chasing up those fingerprints, Hilda. 741 00:50:56,180 --> 00:51:01,129 It just goes to show how important it is to have a woman on the case. 742 00:51:01,380 --> 00:51:04,520 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 743 00:51:04,570 --> 00:51:09,120 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 65360

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