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00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,356
(Footsteps)
3
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,452
Rumpole!
4
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,053
Rumpole!
5
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:11,653
Yes?
6
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,936
- Can you hear something?
- Yes.
7
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:17,058
- What?
- I can hear you, Hilda, you.
8
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,176
(Loud slam)
9
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,132
Rumpole!
10
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,297
- What is it now?
- There's someone in the flat.
11
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:29,497
- Yes, we are. We usually are at night.
- Ssh!
12
00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:32,891
Don't shush me!
I didn't start this conversation!
13
00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:35,016
- Don't you hear?
- Hear what?
14
00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:37,455
- Sounds.
- Be not afraid, Hilda.
15
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:42,375
The flat is full of noises, sounds
and sweet airs that delight and hurt not.
16
00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:45,498
Sometimes
a thousand twangling instruments
17
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:48,697
will hum about thine ears
and sometimes voices
18
00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:53,536
that if I then had waked after long sleep
will make me sleep again... I hope!
19
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,453
No doubt
one of your business associates.
20
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,656
- What do you mean?
- A burglar!
21
00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:01,937
Why don't you go and find out
what he's after?
22
00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:06,097
- No need to disturb the fella.
- Are you afraid?
23
00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:09,058
There is no burglar.
You've been dreaming.
24
00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:11,609
- Prove it.
- I can't. I'm asleep.
25
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:15,730
Or is that a job you'd rather leave
to a woman?
26
00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:30,136
(Footsteps)
27
00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:35,739
Oh!
28
00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,730
All right, guv, it's a fair cop!
29
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,812
Just like you to make a joke
out of burglars!
30
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,369
The TV set still seems to be with us.
31
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:47,338
- Did you leave that window open?
- Yes. No.
32
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:50,651
I can't remember.
I'd make a terrible witness!
33
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:51,969
Ah!
34
00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:56,018
- That is odd.
- What is?
35
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:59,217
My brief for the Queen
versus Joby Jonson.
36
00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:01,336
No one's stolen that.
37
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,456
- No, but...
- But what?
38
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:07,852
I left it in my briefcase. Somebody's
been at it. That's not my bow!
39
00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:10,932
It isn't how I leave a brief
I was working on.
40
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:14,615
Chequebook,
Mrs O'Thingummy's money untouched.
41
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:18,372
- There's nothing missing.
- Something is.
42
00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:19,495
What?
43
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:24,017
Proof of evidence of Joby Jonson,
alleged robber of pensioners.
44
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:30,050
His statement of defence, such as
it was, has melted into air, into thin air.
45
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:32,176
So somebody WAS here?
46
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:35,173
Yes, you're usually right, of course.
47
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,296
Somebody was.
48
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:43,499
Any sort of news in the paper, Philly?
49
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:47,858
Some sort of news. War in Bulgaria,
earthquakes in South America,
50
00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:49,976
new threat of global warming.
51
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:54,770
No, I mean important news.
The list of the new QCs, for instance.
52
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,898
Ah, well... Look for yourself.
53
00:04:58,740 --> 00:05:02,050
No. No, I don't want to look for myself,
Philly.
54
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:04,893
I'm not brave enough to look for myself.
55
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:09,338
I don't think I could put up
with another disappointment.
56
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:14,176
"The list of new Queen's Counsel
will be announced next month.
57
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:16,490
"It's expected to include..."
58
00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:17,615
Me?
59
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:23,298
"Tabitha Merryweather, the brilliant
Ghanaian women's civil rights lawyer."
60
00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:26,975
- Nothing to say I'll get it.
- You've asked often enough!
61
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:31,179
- Only five times.
- You'll probably get it for persistence.
62
00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:35,458
- We all know you got it first time.
- Bit of a fluke actually.
63
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,657
No, not a fluke.
It's because you're a woman.
64
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:55,377
Doin' your fitness classes, is you, Joby?
65
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:59,089
Getting into shape to beat up
someone else's granny?
66
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:02,616
Brave boy.
Goin' three rounds with an old lady...
67
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:05,613
- I never.
- Are you arguin' with us, boy?
68
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,736
I haven't been convicted.
69
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,733
Oh, he's innocent! Hear that, Snouty?
70
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:14,779
They got you down as a granny basher.
Do you wanna argue?
71
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:20,375
Not here with you, Snouty. Just in court.
My brief's gonna get me off.
72
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,496
Oh, leave it out, will you?
73
00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:26,539
You put your hands up in court.
You've got no alternative.
74
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:30,739
Trust us, sunshine.
You've got no better brief than we are.
75
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:38,895
- Ah, Erskine-Brown.
- Ballard.
76
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:42,689
Your name cropped up
when I was speaking to old Keith
77
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,294
from the Lord Chancellor's office.
78
00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,769
Did it, Ballard? Did it really?
79
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:53,060
He was interested in my views, as Head
of Chambers, on your application for silk.
80
00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:58,977
Interested? Was he really interested?
They're taking my application seriously?
81
00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:03,895
Naturally. Keith was saying it's become
an annual event. Like Christmas!
82
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:06,290
You mean they look forward to it?
83
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:11,090
Let's say they give it
their serious consideration
84
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,650
and I was able to let him have my views,
fairly fully.
85
00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:17,209
Thank you very much, Ballard.
86
00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:22,135
Yes. I said I did not think there would be
any repetition of the incidents
87
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:24,495
in which you'd been involved in,
88
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:29,017
such as the complaint lodged
by our new typist, Miss Clapton.
89
00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:33,651
You told Keith from the Lord
Chancellor's department about Dot?
90
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,776
Yes. I felt it was my duty.
91
00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:40,968
Evidence the Lord Chancellor might
have to consider of your lack of gravitas.
92
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:43,017
- My lack of what?
- Bottom.
93
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:46,934
It might indicate
that you are not fundamentally sound.
94
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:51,173
You said that to Keith
from the Lord Chancellor's department?
95
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:54,332
And I said it in your own best interests.
96
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,616
You pompous prick!
97
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:02,012
- I don't think I heard that.
- Oh, yes, you did.
98
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:06,298
If you don't know what it means,
I suggest you ask Dot Clapton.
99
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:11,409
It's a view of your character quite
commonly held at Number 3 Equity Court.
100
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:16,208
Pompous... what exactly?
101
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:23,856
- What have you done to your face?
- Accident.
102
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:27,057
Oh, yes? Mistook it for an ashtray,
did you?
103
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,176
That's right, yeah.
104
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:32,093
We can help you complain
to the Governor.
105
00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:37,209
Leave it out. You leave it out an' all!
You want to get me killed or something?
106
00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:41,771
No, strange as it may seem, Joby,
we're trying to get you off!
107
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:45,296
Now, then...
"A Mrs Louisa Parsons, aged 75,
108
00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:50,409
"living at an end house, No.1 Pondicherry
Road behind Euston Station,
109
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:54,937
"answered a ring at her front door
on the morning of October 19th.
110
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:59,776
"A youth was there who said,
'You still living here? ' and then ran off.
111
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:05,094
"Later, a person she identifies as the
same youth, his face partially covered,
112
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:09,936
"again rang her doorbell, and
when she answered it, forced his way in,
113
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:13,490
"punched her in the face and stomach..."
Charming!
114
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:19,098
"...tied her up, kicked her, broke most of
the crockery and some of the furniture,
115
00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:24,698
"and left with Mrs Parsons' post office
savings book with a balance of �5.79.
116
00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:28,773
"She later identified the defendant
Joby Jonson
117
00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:32,819
"at an identification parade
in Euston nick."
118
00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:37,531
That is the first time I set my eyes
on the old bat, at the ID parade.
119
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:41,249
Joby, it might be as well
when you're giving evidence
120
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:45,208
to resist the temptation
to call the victim "an old bat".
121
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:48,258
It is not likely to endear you
to the jury.
122
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:53,289
Have you got a spare copy of Joby's
statement? Mine walked in the night!
123
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,020
The defence is an alibi,
if you remember.
124
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,490
- You read what I said?
- Yes, Joby, of course I did.
125
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:03,448
Over the last few months
it's been my sole bedtime study.
126
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:07,499
"So far as I can remember..."
That's a promising start!
127
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:10,254
"At the time Mrs Parsons was attacked,
128
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:14,208
"I was hanging about near the superloo
in Euston Station
129
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:18,009
"with three girls who were singing
and dancing a bit."
130
00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,456
Mr Bernard says
that you was a brilliant brief.
131
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,815
Can't you even get me off on this?
132
00:10:23,980 --> 00:10:28,735
I may well be a brilliant brief, Joby,
but I am unable to walk on water
133
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,573
or transmute base metals into gold.
134
00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:34,300
Nor can I make use of a so-called alibi
135
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:37,418
which ignores
the most important evidence!
136
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:42,654
- What's that meant to be then?
- Your palm print on Mrs Parsons' door.
137
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,696
Yeah, well...
138
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:52,259
I'm not for puttin' me hands up.
As long as that's clear!
139
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:56,776
I don't care what they says!
Have you got that?
140
00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:07,889
Not exactly the most likeable
young man, Mr Rumpole!
141
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:11,689
Mr Bernard, that is the understatement
of the year.
142
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:16,411
Do you know what's deteriorated
since the good old, bad old days?
143
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:21,813
The character of our young offenders.
Where have all the Artful Dodgers gone?
144
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:25,609
And where are
all those cheerful cockney pickpockets
145
00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:30,729
who had thumbs in their waistcoats and
said, "Whatcha, me old cock sparrow?"
146
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,856
It was a sad day for England
147
00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:36,979
when the Artful Dodgers
turned into the Joby Jonsons.
148
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,096
- Dot...
- Yes, Henry?
149
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:51,899
I couldn't have better staff than you.
150
00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:56,815
A senior clerk could not wish
for more efficient staff or more pleasant
151
00:11:56,980 --> 00:12:01,496
and I've done my best to make you
feel at home in Equity Court, but...
152
00:12:01,660 --> 00:12:05,130
A barristers' chambers
is a barristers' chambers.
153
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:10,090
- Got some criticism of my typing?
- Your typing is almost perfection.
154
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:15,414
- Or the speed I get the fee notes out at?
- You get them out at the speed of light.
155
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:18,219
What I wanted to say was, well...
156
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:23,770
Barristers! Some of them are
what I suppose you'd call old-fashioned!
157
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:26,215
- (Phone rings)
- Old-fashioned?
158
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:29,531
Museum pieces still in Y-fronts
and braces!
159
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:32,134
Yeah, hello?
160
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,779
(Laughter)
161
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:36,898
Something amusing you,
Mr Erskine-Brown?
162
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:40,848
No, no. Really nothing, Dot. Honestly.
It's just that...
163
00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:45,059
Well, I haven't had much
to laugh at recently. That's all.
164
00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:51,130
I say, Dot, congratulations!
165
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:55,259
That's what chambers need -
someone to make a statement.
166
00:12:55,420 --> 00:13:00,733
We're not all clones. We're not all
imitation male lawyers in pin-stripes.
167
00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,414
We're the sisterhood of free spirits!
168
00:13:03,580 --> 00:13:08,495
Are you, Miss Probert? I'm trying
to get on with Mr Inchcape's typing.
169
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:12,539
Dot, a couple more pages
of the particulars of negligence.
170
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,736
I'll make them my top priority.
171
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:19,849
Mr Rumpole, it's the office of
the Under-Secretary at the Home Office.
172
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:23,137
Wonders if you could call in
for a brief word?
173
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:27,418
Tell him we'll try and fit him in
with my other engagements.
174
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:32,938
I'll have to call you back when I find
a window of time in Mr Rumpole's diary.
175
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,250
- Henry...
- Yes, Mr Ballard?
176
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:39,299
I'm calling a chambers meeting
on a most serious situation.
177
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,769
I hope you will all be able to attend.
178
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:46,491
I don't know. Depends on my business
with Her Majesty's Government.
179
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,175
Tom Mottram, Under-Secretary,
Home Affairs,
180
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:54,618
with special responsibility for prisons.
I try to keep them in!
181
00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:59,058
Horace Rumpole, counsel
for the defence. I try to keep them out!
182
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:04,692
Very good. Wasn't that good? Elspeth
Dodds, Parliamentary Private Secretary.
183
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:07,818
- Hello.
- Do come and sit down, Mr Rumpole.
184
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:12,899
You may have wondered why
I asked you to drop by. Please...
185
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,812
Thank you.
186
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,658
It's about a young lad
called Joby Jonson.
187
00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:21,175
Oh, really?
188
00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:24,173
I'm a constituency MP.
I hope a good one.
189
00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:29,368
I've had Joby Jonson's mother at my
surgery week in, week out, poor woman.
190
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:32,930
- She really is quite distracted.
- I expect she is.
191
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:36,172
I told her I'd see
he was properly defended.
192
00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:39,059
I'm delighted you're appearing for him.
193
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:44,499
You'll see he doesn't make things worse
by putting up some stupid defence.
194
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:49,734
- Can I tell her he's well looked after?
- Yes, he's having the time of his life!
195
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:51,856
Banged up for 23 hours a day
196
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:55,330
in a seven-foot cell
with a couple of chamber pots
197
00:14:55,500 --> 00:15:00,335
and a sworn enemy who passes the time
by stubbing cigarettes out on his face.
198
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,539
And, of course,
Joby Jonson is entirely innocent.
199
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:08,329
Innocent? That's interesting.
Is that your view?
200
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,377
As innocent as we all are
201
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:15,295
until 12 fellow citizens come back
into court and tell him he's guilty.
202
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:21,012
You're giving us your courtroom
performance. Good. Isn't it, Elspeth?
203
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,932
Very good indeed.
204
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:28,015
I was trying to point out the conditions
endured by prisoners on remand.
205
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:32,731
Oh, worse than 100 years ago.
We know that. Don't we, Elspeth?
206
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:37,416
Only too well. And our minister
would be the first to agree with you.
207
00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:40,413
Then why doesn't he do something
about it?
208
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:43,174
Unfortunately, we live in a democracy.
209
00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:47,458
We listen to the instructions
of our masters with the votes.
210
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:51,898
So we leave prison reform
to the private sector. People like you.
211
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:54,016
- And Seb Pilgrim.
- Who?
212
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:57,172
You don't know Seb? He runs YERT.
213
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,251
Runs what?
214
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:04,619
Youth Enterprise Reform Trust. You
must've heard of Sir Sebastian Pilgrim.
215
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:08,659
He's a splendid fellow.
He carried his bat for England.
216
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:13,177
He does wonderful things
with hopeless cases like Joby Jonson.
217
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:19,097
Teaches them cricket, gives them pride
in themselves, reforms their characters.
218
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,570
- You two should get together.
- Do you think so?
219
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:25,334
I've never carried my bat for anywhere.
220
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:28,296
(Alarm goes off)
221
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,213
Hilda! What's wrong?
Is there an air raid?
222
00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:34,099
Don't be silly. It's perfectly simple.
223
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:37,491
You just press 34896
and the yellow button
224
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,379
and you see it's... quiet immediately.
225
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:44,089
What else have you installed?
Death rays, man traps?
226
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:48,936
Will you sit in the kitchen all night
with a double-barrelled shotgun?
227
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:53,298
You have to give the criminal classes
a chance to earn a living!
228
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,613
- Oh, hello.
- Good afternoon, Mr Rumpole.
229
00:16:57,780 --> 00:17:01,819
Kensington CID, DS Appleby.
Your wife called us in again.
230
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:07,054
Seems the villains have turned against
you. Been losing their cases, sir?
231
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:08,778
Very amusing.
232
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:12,489
I insisted Mr Appleby came
to look for fingerprints.
233
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,696
- Tea, Mr Appleby?
- Thank you.
234
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:19,092
A very thorough investigator.
She knows my job better than I do.
235
00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:23,617
Yes, Mrs Rumpole is one
of nature's detective superintendents.
236
00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:28,456
Don't worry about it. Almost certainly
a professional wearing gloves.
237
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:32,659
And didn't take anything of value?
Just some of your papers?
238
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,776
Who'd be interested in that?
239
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:36,692
(Phone rings)
240
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,579
I've been wondering about that myself.
241
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,539
Hello? Yes, Rumpole speaking.
242
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:52,176
What? Sir Sebastian Pilgrim wants
a word with me? What about?
243
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:58,249
Joby Jonson?
Yes, all right. Join the queue.
244
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:01,253
- A pompous prick?
- I called him that.
245
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:03,456
Our Head of Chambers.
246
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:06,498
And the next table was full of solicitors.
247
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:10,619
That was the most persuasive
and accurately phrased speech
248
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:14,250
you ever made down the Old Bailey,
and the shortest.
249
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,809
He told Keith that I have no bottom.
250
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:19,130
He's got enough for both of you.
251
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,734
That I wasn't fundamentally sound.
252
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:26,451
I should tell the Lord Chancellor
a few home truths about our leader.
253
00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:31,296
The fact that he's a smarmy, hypocritical,
God-bothering vegetarian?
254
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:35,055
No, the time for action has come,
the hour of decision.
255
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:38,212
Oh... Philly,
what does that mean exactly?
256
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:41,656
It means, Claude, I am on the case.
257
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,216
Mr Rumpole?
258
00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:52,290
- That's me.
- I'm Fred Bry.
259
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,736
I've come to take you
to Sir Sebastian Pilgrim.
260
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,856
Thank you.
261
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:28,135
Yours, Mr Rumpole!
262
00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:33,250
- No, I'm sure it's yours.
- Fancy a go at the wicket?
263
00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:37,379
Not in the least.
I'm allergic to any form of sport.
264
00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:40,816
Except for teasing Her Majesty's judges.
265
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,448
You're very famous among our lads.
266
00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:48,936
- You're not allergic to a drink, I hope?
- I thought you'd never ask!
267
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:54,413
I'm sorry, Mr Rumpole. The lads
have voted this a smoke-free zone.
268
00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:57,572
What are you running here?
A monastery?
269
00:19:57,740 --> 00:20:02,814
Very funny. Delightful wit. That's what
old Tom Mottram told me about you.
270
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:08,338
No, I don't make the rules. The boys do.
Self-discipline is the name of the game.
271
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,095
- I thought it was cricket!
- No alcohol, no smoking.
272
00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:14,820
And if anyone is found dropping an E...
273
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,494
- A what?
- Ecstasy.
274
00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:22,893
Anyone indulging in any sort of drug
gets a hard time from the other fellas.
275
00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:25,813
It's no good imposing rules from above.
276
00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:28,653
How's the coffee?
277
00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:32,529
I'm afraid we're not
up to your gastronomic standards.
278
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,817
We have more important things
to think about.
279
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:37,936
Yes, like Joby Jonson.
280
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:42,059
Ah, yes, Joby.
I must admit I'm worried about Joby.
281
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,176
Most people seem to be.
282
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:49,698
What we find here is that the first step to
reform is to admit to what you've done.
283
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:52,328
- If only to your mates.
- Plead guilty?
284
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,934
Even if you only admit it to yourself.
285
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:58,649
Look over there,
what we call our quiet corner.
286
00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:02,779
- What is it, a prayer meeting?
- Yeah, something like that.
287
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:06,535
The lads over there
are coming out with all their crime,
288
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:10,659
they talk it through,
and Fred tells them where that leads.
289
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:13,539
- Your driver?
- And Fred should know.
290
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:16,851
He'd done six years for robbery
when I took him on.
291
00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:20,410
So you believe confession's good
for the soul?
292
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,333
- Don't you?
- Oh, perhaps.
293
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,890
It's not much good at keeping you
out of the nick.
294
00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:31,815
If you could just get him to admit
what he's done, if only to himself,
295
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:35,290
to face up to it
and not to tell any silly lies,
296
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:38,930
it could be the beginning
of his way back to reality.
297
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:42,251
Or the beginning of about five years
in chokey!
298
00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:47,653
He's come here often. He's had his
talking sessions with Fred and the others.
299
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:52,132
I just don't want to write him off
as one of my failures.
300
00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:55,770
- I'm sure we want what's best for him.
- I'm sure.
301
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:59,170
Tell me, what can I do to help?
302
00:22:00,020 --> 00:22:03,217
Well, I could call you
as a character witness.
303
00:22:03,380 --> 00:22:06,338
More impressive than a shrink
or the vicar.
304
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:10,778
"I call Sir Sebastian Pilgrim
who carried his bat for England."
305
00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:14,615
You can count on me, Mr Rumpole.
You can count on me.
306
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:18,057
You were talking about Joby?
You and Seb?
307
00:22:18,220 --> 00:22:21,815
Oh, erm, yes, we were. Yes.
308
00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:26,451
A big disappointment to us, Joby.
Terrible disappointment.
309
00:22:27,540 --> 00:22:31,852
We did our best with Joby -
Seb and me. We both tried hard.
310
00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:35,251
So, it's over to you now, Mr Rumpole.
311
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:40,013
Get the boy to own up
to what he's done. It's the only way.
312
00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:44,696
Certain standards of civilisation
have to be kept at Equity Court.
313
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:48,091
We couldn't have people
turning up in war paint.
314
00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:50,774
No, Sam. You're absolutely right.
315
00:22:50,940 --> 00:22:53,818
Thank you very much,
Mrs Erskine-Brown.
316
00:22:53,980 --> 00:22:56,574
- I don't see why not.
- What, Rumpole?
317
00:22:56,740 --> 00:23:01,860
I don't see why not! I'm all for anything
that adds drama to the surroundings!
318
00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:05,251
If you'd come in this morning
wearing war paint,
319
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:08,890
waving an assegai on your way
to a bloody summons...
320
00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:12,939
Rumpole, we are at something
of a crisis in Equity Court!
321
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,615
We could be off down the slippery slope
towards...
322
00:23:16,780 --> 00:23:17,929
What?
323
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:21,012
- Suede shoes.
- What?
324
00:23:21,180 --> 00:23:26,174
There are men in Miles Crudgington's set
who go into chambers in suede shoes.
325
00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:29,537
- Shock, horror!
- You see where this can lead to!
326
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:32,737
Yes, Sam,
that is the most terrible warning.
327
00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:35,130
I agree with you, Ballard. 100�% .
328
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:39,578
Dot was making an unacceptable
statement of female submission.
329
00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:42,334
It was nothing but a kind of harem signal
330
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:46,778
to any would-be sheikh foolish enough
to take her up on the offer.
331
00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:51,570
Dot's nose, not to put too fine a point
on it, is politically incorrect.
332
00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:55,289
Erskine-Brown,
do you not have an opinion on this?
333
00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:59,294
I don't imagine I have enough bottom
to express an opinion.
334
00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:01,416
- Enough what?
- Gravitas.
335
00:24:01,580 --> 00:24:05,129
- Ballard doesn't think I've got enough.
- Gravitas?
336
00:24:05,300 --> 00:24:08,736
Sounds like a breakfast food!
Sorry, must be off.
337
00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:13,849
Can't spend any more time on this
discussion, fascinating though it may be!
338
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:19,094
I suggest we leave all further action
in this matter to our Head of Chambers.
339
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:22,730
I'm sure Sam will deal with it
with his usual wisdom.
340
00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:26,609
- Are you feeling quite well, Portia?
- Perfectly well.
341
00:24:26,780 --> 00:24:30,409
I'm positive Sam can be trusted
to have a tactful word
342
00:24:30,580 --> 00:24:33,697
in the appropriate quarter,
can't you, Sam?
343
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:36,776
Oh, Inchcape!
344
00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:42,610
You... You didn't say what you thought
about the rich ornament
345
00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:44,975
in Dorothea Clapton's nostril.
346
00:24:45,140 --> 00:24:48,291
To be honest,
I never even noticed it was there.
347
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:50,416
- Did you not?
- No.
348
00:24:50,580 --> 00:24:52,855
How very interesting.
349
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:58,097
Hello, Dot. I just popped in
to see what's on for tomorrow.
350
00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:00,091
I wanted your advice.
351
00:25:00,260 --> 00:25:06,096
I don't have any opinion. I suppose it
does add a touch of colour to chambers.
352
00:25:06,260 --> 00:25:09,616
- What adds colour?
- Nothing in particular.
353
00:25:09,780 --> 00:25:13,011
About my dad.
He lives not far from here actually.
354
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:16,411
I thought you and Henry hailed
from Bexleyheath.
355
00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:20,016
My mum lives there.
They split up when I was seven.
356
00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:23,650
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- It wasn't a great tragedy.
357
00:25:23,820 --> 00:25:28,769
My dad's an awkward customer. Calling
him bloody-minded is a compliment!
358
00:25:28,940 --> 00:25:31,056
They want to do a new
development down his street,
359
00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:34,098
but he won't sell his house.
360
00:25:34,260 --> 00:25:38,014
Tells them he's too old to move,
tells them to sod off!
361
00:25:38,180 --> 00:25:40,410
Well, that's property law, Dot.
362
00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:45,256
It's hardly my "specialit� de la maison".
If he had committed a murder...
363
00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:48,856
Perhaps he will
if they go on asking him to sell up!
364
00:25:49,020 --> 00:25:52,695
They send people round
telling him he's got to move.
365
00:25:52,860 --> 00:25:55,328
They ring on his doorbell all hours.
366
00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:59,459
It must be highly irritating.
Where does he live exactly?
367
00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:01,895
- MacGlinty Terrace.
- Oh, yes.
368
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:04,176
Round behind Euston Station.
369
00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:07,770
Do you know the area?
370
00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:10,852
I think I might do, yes.
371
00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:13,614
You were superb today, Sam.
372
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:16,817
- Thank you, Mrs Erskine-Brown.
- Phyllida.
373
00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:20,450
- Yes, of course. Phyllida.
- Think nothing of it.
374
00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:25,853
What I admired was how you dominated
the proceedings, yet everything was fun.
375
00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:28,534
I try to make our meetings enjoyable.
376
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:32,454
And you succeed.
I suppose it's just your personality.
377
00:26:32,620 --> 00:26:34,451
Really?
378
00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:39,455
All these years that you and I have been
the only two silks in chambers,
379
00:26:39,620 --> 00:26:43,295
do you know,
we've never had lunch together?
380
00:26:43,460 --> 00:26:47,089
- Doesn't that strike you as strange?
- No. Not really.
381
00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:50,491
You're a member of Inner Temple,
I'm at Gray's Inn,
382
00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:53,094
so we never had lunch
in the same place.
383
00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:55,330
Sam, why don't you invite me?
384
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:59,060
All right then, Phyllida. I will.
385
00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:03,410
There's a very nice health food bar
in Fetter Lane.
386
00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:06,936
Oh, that doesn't sound
terribly romantic to me.
387
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:10,376
- What about the Savoy Grill?
- The Savoy Grill?
388
00:27:10,540 --> 00:27:13,373
That's the one.
I thought you'd never ask!
389
00:27:19,780 --> 00:27:24,808
There's a profile of one of your friends
here. You ought to be proud of him.
390
00:27:24,980 --> 00:27:28,768
- What friend is that?
- Not one of your criminal classes.
391
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:33,218
Not one of your burglars who entered
by the fire escape to rob us.
392
00:27:33,380 --> 00:27:37,532
This is someone to be proud of.
You might invite him to dinner.
393
00:27:37,700 --> 00:27:39,656
Invite who to dinner?
394
00:27:39,820 --> 00:27:44,018
Sir Sebastian Pilgrim,
one-time all-rounder for England.
395
00:27:44,180 --> 00:27:49,379
Spends much of his time trying to reform
young criminals. You don't do that.
396
00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:53,215
- That isn't your sort of thing.
- Neither is cricket.
397
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:58,056
He's also a brilliant businessman,
Chairman of Maiden Over Holdings.
398
00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:01,690
Seb told his shareholders,
"I believe in England."
399
00:28:01,860 --> 00:28:07,014
Good for him. I suppose the rest of us
think it's a figment of our imagination!
400
00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:12,618
He was in partnership with Tom Mottram
until Mr Mottram joined the government.
401
00:28:12,780 --> 00:28:17,456
They're planning to build
a multi-storey hotel and shopping centre.
402
00:28:17,620 --> 00:28:22,853
Tom Mottram! Do they say where this
monstrous carbuncle is to be dumped?
403
00:28:23,020 --> 00:28:27,616
- Are you thinking of investing?
- Perhaps a little of my time.
404
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:30,775
Behind Euston Station.
405
00:28:34,780 --> 00:28:39,808
I've been away such a lot doing these
boring big cases all over the world,
406
00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:44,337
- I didn't realise what I was missing.
- What were you missing?
407
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:47,617
Well, to be honest, Sam,
my Head of Chambers.
408
00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:50,613
- The Head?
- Well, in a word, you.
409
00:28:50,780 --> 00:28:56,173
I do think about you quite a lot when
I'm all alone in places like Hong Kong.
410
00:28:56,340 --> 00:28:58,570
You think about me in Hong Kong?
411
00:28:58,740 --> 00:29:01,698
- You don't mind?
- No, Mrs Erskine-Brown.
412
00:29:01,860 --> 00:29:02,815
Phyllida.
413
00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:07,849
You can think about whoever you like,
but I've never been to Hong Kong.
414
00:29:08,020 --> 00:29:10,488
Oh, yes, you have. In my thoughts.
415
00:29:11,380 --> 00:29:13,336
Really?
416
00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:16,576
I didn't know.
417
00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:21,689
Sam, I can see you've had lots of
practice chatting up women over lunch.
418
00:29:21,860 --> 00:29:26,570
Not really, no. I quite often send
Miss Clapton out for sandwiches.
419
00:29:27,420 --> 00:29:32,733
I've asked Henry to have a tactful word
with her about the subject we discussed.
420
00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:34,970
- Her nose?
- Yes, exactly.
421
00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:38,974
Splendid. Takes a real man
to act as decisively as that.
422
00:29:39,140 --> 00:29:44,260
Claude believes he might do better with
the Lord Chancellor if he were a woman.
423
00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:46,980
- I think that's very silly.
- So do I.
424
00:29:47,140 --> 00:29:51,611
- Claude couldn't possibly be a woman.
- He'd find it very difficult.
425
00:29:51,780 --> 00:29:54,374
He should settle down to being himself.
426
00:29:54,540 --> 00:29:56,895
I think that's what he's afraid of.
427
00:29:57,060 --> 00:30:01,372
He said you had a chat about
his application with dear old Keith.
428
00:30:01,540 --> 00:30:03,770
Yes, he didn't seem too pleased.
429
00:30:03,940 --> 00:30:07,933
He used an expression
I couldn't repeat in a public place.
430
00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:10,136
Yes, he called you a pom...
431
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:13,610
Phyllida, Phyllida! Pas devant le waiter!
432
00:30:13,780 --> 00:30:16,419
- Is this champagne?
- Of course it is.
433
00:30:16,580 --> 00:30:18,935
- Did I order it?
- Of course you did.
434
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:21,694
I think you wanted to celebrate the fact
435
00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:25,648
that we're going out together
at long, long last.
436
00:30:25,820 --> 00:30:29,176
Causes a rather curious sensation
in the nose.
437
00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:32,537
Forgive Claude.
He had a deprived childhood.
438
00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:36,978
That's the sort of language
chaps pick up at Winchester! Hmm!
439
00:30:37,140 --> 00:30:40,576
You, erm... You didn't think
he ought to take silk?
440
00:30:41,660 --> 00:30:44,220
In his own best interests, Phyllida.
441
00:30:44,380 --> 00:30:47,770
You're fibbing.
You were thinking entirely of me.
442
00:30:47,940 --> 00:30:51,933
- Was I?
- You thought I'd get less leading briefs
443
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,056
with Claude competing, hmm?
444
00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:59,294
Look, I want to be entirely honest with
you, now we've become real friends.
445
00:30:59,460 --> 00:31:00,939
Do you?
446
00:31:01,100 --> 00:31:05,173
Of course I do.
And I want you to be the first to know.
447
00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:08,650
I shan't be looking for leading briefs
in future.
448
00:31:08,820 --> 00:31:11,254
- You shan't?
- I'm leaving the Bar.
449
00:31:11,420 --> 00:31:14,537
- Phyllida!
- For good. I've made up my mind.
450
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:17,851
Don't look so sad.
I'm not leaving the country.
451
00:31:18,020 --> 00:31:19,976
We'll still be able to meet.
452
00:31:20,140 --> 00:31:24,099
And you know what might make it
really easy for me?
453
00:31:24,260 --> 00:31:25,818
Easy?
454
00:31:25,980 --> 00:31:30,098
If Claude were away in, let's say,
Hong Kong,
455
00:31:30,260 --> 00:31:33,775
doing leading briefs
for long periods of time,
456
00:31:33,940 --> 00:31:36,374
you and I could have lunch together.
457
00:31:36,540 --> 00:31:38,656
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
458
00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:43,056
Yes, Phyllida, I believe I would.
459
00:31:43,220 --> 00:31:47,452
Well, look, do me a small favour.
Help us both.
460
00:31:47,620 --> 00:31:49,292
How?
461
00:31:49,460 --> 00:31:54,215
Just pick up the phone to dear old Keith
in the Lord Chancellor's office.
462
00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:59,534
Tell him there is no objection to Claude
being wrapped in silk, even if he's a man.
463
00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:03,056
That would make it easier
and help you and Claude?
464
00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:06,849
It would help you and me, Sam,
considerably.
465
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:13,256
Here's to us both.
466
00:32:17,420 --> 00:32:20,457
Regina versus Jonson coming up next,
Mr Rumpole.
467
00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:23,657
- Yes, indeed.
- Doesn't look like a winner.
468
00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:26,209
No, and be warned, Mr Bernard.
469
00:32:27,220 --> 00:32:30,690
We are up against one
of the most subtle tacticians -
470
00:32:30,860 --> 00:32:34,011
the "artfullest" dodger
down the Old Bailey.
471
00:32:34,180 --> 00:32:38,219
- Who's that, Mr Rumpole?
- Mrs Phyllida Erskine-Brown, QC.
472
00:32:38,380 --> 00:32:40,336
The Portia of our chambers.
473
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:44,778
A silk to prosecute. They're putting us
up before the red judge.
474
00:32:44,940 --> 00:32:48,489
I heard a whisper our boy
was getting star treatment.
475
00:32:48,660 --> 00:32:51,094
Mugging is the flavour of the month.
476
00:32:51,260 --> 00:32:55,538
The powers that be want to show
they're all terribly concerned.
477
00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:59,295
Never despair,
there are still a few things we can do.
478
00:32:59,460 --> 00:33:02,054
- Such as?
- Just routine enquiries.
479
00:33:02,220 --> 00:33:04,688
Here you are. There!
480
00:33:04,860 --> 00:33:08,409
Get in touch with a Mr Clapton
of MacGlinty Terrace.
481
00:33:08,580 --> 00:33:10,969
That's round near Euston Station.
482
00:33:11,140 --> 00:33:15,213
See how far that is
from Pondicherry Road, would you?
483
00:33:15,380 --> 00:33:19,259
Oh, and discover everything you can
about these people.
484
00:33:19,420 --> 00:33:21,456
What, Maiden Over Holdings?
485
00:33:21,620 --> 00:33:26,774
Maiden Over Holdings, yes. And any
estate agents that they might employ.
486
00:33:26,940 --> 00:33:31,536
Oh, and while we're still on the subject
of young Dawkins...
487
00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:33,975
And Dawkins.
488
00:33:34,140 --> 00:33:36,973
Dawkins? Who's Dawkins, Mr Rumpole?
489
00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:40,610
Oh, John Dawkins,
the original Artful Dodger.
490
00:33:40,780 --> 00:33:45,456
Let us not forget that he was part
of a much wider organisation
491
00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:49,295
being run from
old Fagin's thieves' kitchen.
492
00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,129
Have you had much experience
with this judge, Portia?
493
00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:59,258
Graves? No, never been before him.
Have you?
494
00:33:59,420 --> 00:34:01,376
To my deep regret.
495
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:04,293
(Clerk) Silence in court! All stand!
496
00:34:05,700 --> 00:34:10,012
(Rumpole) Mr "Injustice" Graves is
an absolute four-letter man!
497
00:34:10,180 --> 00:34:13,775
He's humourless, tedious,
unsympathetic and unjust.
498
00:34:13,940 --> 00:34:17,569
In a word, our judge is a complete pain
in the fundament!
499
00:34:17,740 --> 00:34:21,050
Mr Rumpole, it may come
as a surprise to you to know
500
00:34:21,220 --> 00:34:25,293
that the acoustics in this court
are absolutely perfect
501
00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:28,532
and my hearing is exceptionally keen.
502
00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:32,978
And I can hear absolutely every word
that is spoken
503
00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:35,210
on counsels' benches.
504
00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:37,848
See what I mean?
505
00:34:39,020 --> 00:34:43,969
Henry! It's still there. I saw it
this morning, the undesirable ornament.
506
00:34:44,140 --> 00:34:46,734
You were going to speak
to Miss Clapton.
507
00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:49,937
Didn't the meeting decide
you would do that?
508
00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:53,012
Yes, and I deputed the task to you,
Henry.
509
00:34:53,180 --> 00:34:56,456
No, sir, that is well outside
clerking duties.
510
00:34:56,620 --> 00:35:00,295
It's not for me to make personal remarks
to valued staff.
511
00:35:00,460 --> 00:35:03,896
Very well, I shall have to do it myself,
but not now.
512
00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:07,018
I'm due before the recorder
in ten minutes.
513
00:35:07,180 --> 00:35:11,651
- Is Mrs Erskine-Brown in this court?
- Yes, prosecuting Mr Rumpole.
514
00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:16,974
I expect she'd appreciate it if I popped
my head in and said "good morning".
515
00:35:18,660 --> 00:35:22,414
We say that Jonson viciously attacked
this lady,
516
00:35:22,580 --> 00:35:24,889
old enough to be his grandmother,
517
00:35:25,060 --> 00:35:29,531
and robbed her of what were no doubt
her small lifetime's savings.
518
00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:31,975
Five pounds seventy-nine pence.
519
00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:34,495
Did you say something, Mr Rumpole?
520
00:35:34,660 --> 00:35:39,814
I was just reminding my learned friend
that the amount concerned is �5.79.
521
00:35:39,980 --> 00:35:44,292
Mr Rumpole, I have no doubt
we shall be hearing from you later.
522
00:35:44,460 --> 00:35:48,339
Now I think we might let
Mrs Erskine-Brown open her case
523
00:35:48,500 --> 00:35:53,369
without any more frivolous interruptions.
Yes, Mrs Erskine-Brown?
524
00:35:56,100 --> 00:35:59,888
Yes... Mrs Erskine-Brown?
525
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:08,610
It remains to be seen
what sort of defence, if any,
526
00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:10,975
will be put forward for Jonson.
527
00:36:12,020 --> 00:36:17,094
It is alleged that while
this appalling attack was taking place,
528
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:21,458
Jonson was dancing with some girls
from Manchester
529
00:36:21,620 --> 00:36:24,293
outside the superloo at Euston Station.
530
00:36:24,460 --> 00:36:27,930
What is a superloo exactly?
531
00:36:28,100 --> 00:36:31,729
It is, I believe, my lord,
a kind of superior lavatory.
532
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:36,132
A kind of SUPERIOR lavatory, hmm...
533
00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:42,094
'MacGlinty Terrace, there we are,
turning off Pondicherry Road.'
534
00:36:42,260 --> 00:36:44,330
Right behind Euston Station!
535
00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:50,132
- Did you say something, Mr Rumpole?
- Nothing more at the moment, my lord.
536
00:36:56,860 --> 00:37:01,775
Some weeks later, Mrs Parsons,
did you attend an identification parade?
537
00:37:01,940 --> 00:37:05,979
I did. The police officers were kind
and made me a cup of tea.
538
00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:10,099
Did you identify the youth
who visited you twice on the 19th
539
00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:12,410
and attacked you the second time?
540
00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:17,131
- There he is.
- You are pointing to Joby Jonson.
541
00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:19,256
Thank you, Mrs Parsons.
542
00:37:19,420 --> 00:37:23,698
I managed to get copies of the letters
to your friend Mr Clapton.
543
00:37:23,860 --> 00:37:27,933
Not a friend. Just the father
of a friend. Thank you.
544
00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:31,536
I suppose you have questions,
Mr Rumpole?
545
00:37:32,980 --> 00:37:37,337
Mrs Parsons, do you own
your little house in Pondicherry Road?
546
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:42,051
My husband saved for it.
He was a booking clerk at the station.
547
00:37:42,220 --> 00:37:45,690
Were you not offered a lot of money
for that house?
548
00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:50,775
I wasn't going to move,
no matter how often they asked me.
549
00:37:50,940 --> 00:37:54,649
Now, Mrs Parsons,
you say that on that morning,
550
00:37:54,820 --> 00:37:57,539
a young man rang at your front door
551
00:37:57,700 --> 00:38:01,170
and said, "Are you still living here,
Mrs Parsons?"
552
00:38:01,340 --> 00:38:03,490
Yes, he did.
553
00:38:03,660 --> 00:38:06,174
Did you think there was any connection
554
00:38:06,340 --> 00:38:09,491
with the repeated requests
to sell your house?
555
00:38:09,660 --> 00:38:13,653
- Not at the time, no.
- My lord, the witness can't speculate.
556
00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:17,779
We should leave such flights of fancy
to my learned friend.
557
00:38:17,940 --> 00:38:22,456
My sentiments entirely. Move on
to the next matter, Mr Rumpole.
558
00:38:22,620 --> 00:38:26,090
Nice one, Portia.
You've got him eating out of your hand!
559
00:38:26,260 --> 00:38:28,376
Mr Rumpole...
560
00:38:29,380 --> 00:38:31,814
I didn't hear that.
561
00:38:31,980 --> 00:38:35,017
Did you not, my lord?
Must be the acoustics.
562
00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:40,812
Mrs Parsons, later that day, a young man
rang at your door, then he attacked you.
563
00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:45,690
I heard the bell and thought, "He's back.
I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
564
00:38:45,860 --> 00:38:49,296
You weren't frightened
when you answered the door?
565
00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:53,248
Not then, no.
I was when I saw him, though.
566
00:38:53,420 --> 00:38:54,899
Oh. Why?
567
00:38:55,060 --> 00:38:58,450
He had this... What do they call it?
"Ballycava..."
568
00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:00,576
A balaclava, yes.
569
00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:05,336
Yes, you say in your statement
that the caller's face was hidden.
570
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:07,491
It was hidden a bit, yes.
571
00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:11,619
Well, Mrs Parsons,
how do you know it was the same boy?
572
00:39:13,140 --> 00:39:15,859
Right, Joby, confession time.
573
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,773
Confession is good for the soul,
they say.
574
00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:23,138
Admit it. Somebody told you
to go to Mrs Parsons' house and say,
575
00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:26,929
"Are you still living here, Mrs Parsons?"
And scarper.
576
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:30,172
- What did you do in the afternoon?
- I told you.
577
00:39:30,340 --> 00:39:32,296
Yes, for once, I believe you.
578
00:39:32,460 --> 00:39:36,419
Dropping an E you bought
from some girls from Manchester,
579
00:39:36,580 --> 00:39:41,893
which led to some unseemly folk dancing
outside the superloo in Euston Station.
580
00:39:42,060 --> 00:39:46,099
And doubtless a horrible reaction
of shivering, thirst,
581
00:39:46,260 --> 00:39:48,820
and a certain loss of memory.
582
00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:51,938
How comes you know so much
about doing an E?
583
00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:55,092
How come Mr Rumpole knows
about everything?
584
00:39:55,260 --> 00:40:00,209
I know you went to that house in the
morning. Your palm print was on the door.
585
00:40:00,380 --> 00:40:02,974
Mrs Parsons saw you
and picked you out.
586
00:40:03,140 --> 00:40:08,134
I know you didn't go there in the afternoon
because the group you work for
587
00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:12,737
were so desperate to find out
our defence, they burgled my flat.
588
00:40:12,900 --> 00:40:15,460
They're scared you'll tell the truth
589
00:40:15,620 --> 00:40:19,738
that another lad came after you
and did the serious business.
590
00:40:19,900 --> 00:40:23,609
You'll have to tell the truth
before this case is over.
591
00:40:23,780 --> 00:40:26,135
What's this group you're on about?
592
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:32,136
Don't you play games with me, sunshine.
You know perfectly well who I mean.
593
00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:35,497
- You are Sir Sebastian Pilgrim?
- I am.
594
00:40:35,660 --> 00:40:38,811
And needing no introduction to us,
I'm sure.
595
00:40:38,980 --> 00:40:44,054
At least not to those who witnessed
your century against Pakistan at Lord's
596
00:40:44,220 --> 00:40:46,176
in your final test.
597
00:40:46,340 --> 00:40:48,900
I have no doubt the jury remember.
598
00:40:49,060 --> 00:40:51,494
And do you run an organisation
599
00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:55,289
called The Youth Enterprise
And Reform Trust,
600
00:40:55,460 --> 00:40:59,738
allegedly to help young men
who have fallen into criminal ways?
601
00:40:59,900 --> 00:41:05,418
Once again, Sir Sebastian, your
wonderful work with YERT is well known.
602
00:41:05,580 --> 00:41:09,050
I do run that organisation
to help delinquent boys.
603
00:41:09,220 --> 00:41:12,292
I don't know why
Mr Rumpole says "allegedly".
604
00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:15,338
No doubt a slip of the tongue. Wasn't it?
605
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,968
Not exactly, my lord, no.
606
00:41:18,140 --> 00:41:21,098
If I may go on,
my meaning will become clear.
607
00:41:21,260 --> 00:41:24,616
Are you also the Chairman
of Maiden Over Holdings
608
00:41:24,780 --> 00:41:28,090
which plans a development
behind Euston Station
609
00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:31,332
- of a large hotel and a shopping centre?
- I am.
610
00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:35,095
Weren't you having trouble
with certain householders
611
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:37,694
who refused to sell their homes to you
612
00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:41,296
to make way for
this magnificent development?
613
00:41:41,460 --> 00:41:45,089
- No particular trouble.
- Were you not? Usher!
614
00:41:46,580 --> 00:41:51,973
Do you employ, among others, a firm
of estate agents called Jebber & Jonas?
615
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:55,176
The name's familiar.
616
00:41:55,340 --> 00:41:58,696
- Do you employ them or not?
- From time to time.
617
00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:01,499
Is that a letter from Jebber & Jonas
618
00:42:01,660 --> 00:42:04,777
to a Mr Peter Clapton
of MacGlinty Terrace,
619
00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:08,979
asking him to sell his home
to make way for a new development?
620
00:42:09,140 --> 00:42:13,099
- It would appear to be so.
- Was that your hotel development?
621
00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:16,411
I don't know anyone else
with similar plans.
622
00:42:16,580 --> 00:42:21,700
Perhaps no one else is so anxious to
invest in the future of this great city.
623
00:42:21,860 --> 00:42:27,014
And was a Mrs Parsons of
Pondicherry Road another householder
624
00:42:27,180 --> 00:42:30,411
who refused to sell her house
to your company?
625
00:42:30,580 --> 00:42:32,935
- I really don't remember.
- Do try.
626
00:42:33,100 --> 00:42:37,013
In any event, I'm sure she was made
a very fair offer.
627
00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:39,933
Sir Sebastian, do you hold the view
628
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:43,775
that delinquents should admit
what they have done?
629
00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:47,296
Yes, I believe
that is the start of reform.
630
00:42:47,460 --> 00:42:51,658
Do you want Joby Jonson
to tell the truth about this case?
631
00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:53,094
Yes.
632
00:42:53,260 --> 00:42:55,820
Very well. He came to your club
633
00:42:55,980 --> 00:42:59,609
after having been in trouble
over some minor matters?
634
00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:03,216
Yes. My lord, I thought
there was some good in the lad.
635
00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:05,894
I hoped he might be a useful spin bowler.
636
00:43:06,060 --> 00:43:08,779
Not so useful as you, Sir Sebastian,
637
00:43:08,940 --> 00:43:13,013
if we remember the Australian wickets
in 1975!
638
00:43:14,700 --> 00:43:17,897
Went down like ninepins,
members of the jury!
639
00:43:18,060 --> 00:43:22,497
And a useful messenger to send around
about your company's business.
640
00:43:22,660 --> 00:43:26,175
- Of course not.
- Why not, Sir Sebastian?
641
00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:30,299
I don't wish to be unkind,
but Joby's not the brightest lad,
642
00:43:30,460 --> 00:43:33,372
not a boy you could trust
with any business.
643
00:43:33,540 --> 00:43:35,735
What sort of boy would you trust?
644
00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:37,891
I don't know what you mean.
645
00:43:38,060 --> 00:43:42,895
Who did you choose to terrorise Mrs
Parsons into selling her house to you?
646
00:43:43,060 --> 00:43:44,254
What?
647
00:43:44,420 --> 00:43:49,096
Isn't that the sort of job you offer
to enterprising young men?
648
00:43:49,260 --> 00:43:54,175
That is an absolutely ridiculous
suggestion. There's no truth in it at all!
649
00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:59,289
Mr Rumpole, confine yourself to
questions about your client's character.
650
00:43:59,460 --> 00:44:03,135
Delighted, my lord.
Always anxious to please.
651
00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:06,576
Well, I'm glad we can agree
about some things.
652
00:44:06,740 --> 00:44:10,176
Joby Jonson's talents
are strictly limited.
653
00:44:10,340 --> 00:44:14,891
Good enough perhaps to send round
before lunch with a final warning,
654
00:44:15,060 --> 00:44:20,692
but the afternoon attack had to be done
by another prot�g� in a balaclava helmet!
655
00:44:20,860 --> 00:44:23,454
Mr Rumpole, this is quite intolerable
656
00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:28,057
if you persist in trying
to involve this distinguished gentleman
657
00:44:28,220 --> 00:44:32,179
in the terrible crime
of which your client stands accused.
658
00:44:32,340 --> 00:44:35,537
That is not how we play the game
in these courts.
659
00:44:35,700 --> 00:44:41,093
I'm so sorry, my lord. I have never
entirely understood the rules of cricket!
660
00:44:46,860 --> 00:44:51,536
Oh, Dot! Give my regards to your dad.
Tell him he's been a great help.
661
00:44:51,700 --> 00:44:56,091
- Are you going to win?
- I have hopes, dare I say, great hopes!
662
00:44:56,260 --> 00:45:00,048
Tell him to watch out for young men
in balaclava helmets.
663
00:45:00,220 --> 00:45:02,609
I reckon Dad can look after himself.
664
00:45:02,780 --> 00:45:06,534
- Good, good. By the way, Dot...
- Yes, Mr Rumpole?
665
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:10,136
We had a meeting about that ornament
in your nose.
666
00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:12,370
- You never?
- Yes, we did.
667
00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:15,737
Nothing much was decided,
but Dave Inchcape...
668
00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:20,018
- Yes, Mr Rumpole?
- He said he'd never even noticed it.
669
00:45:24,220 --> 00:45:27,178
Oh, Phyllida,
I did it a couple of weeks ago.
670
00:45:27,340 --> 00:45:29,774
Congratulations. Did what exactly?
671
00:45:29,940 --> 00:45:33,330
Spoke to Keith
from the Lord Chancellor's office.
672
00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:38,176
I told him that recently Claude had been
showing a good deal of gravitas.
673
00:45:38,340 --> 00:45:41,298
- How about bottom?
- Quite a lot of that too.
674
00:45:41,460 --> 00:45:43,769
Good. I'm glad you put that right.
675
00:45:43,940 --> 00:45:46,249
- Phyllida... Phyllida!
- Hmm?
676
00:45:46,420 --> 00:45:51,369
So how about lunch? Honestly, it really
is very nice in the health food bar
677
00:45:51,540 --> 00:45:53,929
and there's a little corner table.
678
00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:58,139
I wouldn't have to send a taxi back
to chambers like last time
679
00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:01,019
for an extra sub from petty cash!
680
00:46:01,180 --> 00:46:06,652
Sorry, Ballard, I'm going to be too busy
for lunches out in the foreseeable future.
681
00:46:16,100 --> 00:46:19,137
Could I just glance at "The Times"?
682
00:46:30,060 --> 00:46:32,528
Oh, I say! Fabulous day!
683
00:46:33,540 --> 00:46:36,134
Absolutely fabulous!
684
00:46:36,300 --> 00:46:39,770
Keep the change.
Buy yourself a drink, old chap.
685
00:46:39,940 --> 00:46:41,896
Two drinks if necessary.
686
00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:46,815
With the compliments of one of Her
Majesty's Counsel, learned in the law.
687
00:46:46,980 --> 00:46:51,531
# It's a hap-hap-happy day
Toodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-ay... #
688
00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:58,691
Jonson, the jury have reached a verdict
with which I entirely agree.
689
00:46:58,860 --> 00:47:02,409
You chose, through your representative,
Mr Rumpole,
690
00:47:02,580 --> 00:47:05,333
to make an entirely unwarranted attack
691
00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:09,129
on a great British sportsman
and public figure.
692
00:47:10,220 --> 00:47:15,613
A man who has devoted his life
to the reform of youths such as yourself.
693
00:47:17,220 --> 00:47:22,340
Unhappily, you have proved
to be quite unreformable.
694
00:47:23,620 --> 00:47:26,578
You will be detained for five years.
695
00:47:26,740 --> 00:47:28,696
Take him down.
696
00:47:31,260 --> 00:47:35,572
Bowled out, Bonnie Bernard,
by the bloody umpire!
697
00:47:37,180 --> 00:47:39,136
(Types away furiously)
698
00:47:41,220 --> 00:47:43,370
Excuse me, sir. Thank you.
699
00:47:44,900 --> 00:47:48,688
(Claude) Rumpole!
Hello there, dear old Rumpole.
700
00:47:48,860 --> 00:47:53,536
- You've read "The Times" today?
- No, I've had other things on my mind.
701
00:47:53,700 --> 00:47:58,979
The silk list. I shall be leading you.
I shall be sitting in front of you.
702
00:47:59,140 --> 00:48:03,213
Well, after today's result,
I probably deserve it.
703
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,336
It's gone. Thank you, Henry.
704
00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:10,096
I said nothing, it not being my place
to advise staff on such matters.
705
00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:13,013
Yes. No doubt
she understood my feelings
706
00:48:13,180 --> 00:48:16,968
and now we have Miss Clapton's nose
in a state of decency.
707
00:48:17,140 --> 00:48:20,735
- That's another problem solved.
- My sole success!
708
00:48:20,900 --> 00:48:23,619
Oh, Erskine-Brown, congratulations.
709
00:48:23,780 --> 00:48:27,659
Thank you. It seems
that gravitas is no longer called for.
710
00:48:27,820 --> 00:48:30,857
No, I meant your wife.
You must be very proud.
711
00:48:31,020 --> 00:48:34,649
- What about Philly?
- Haven't you seen the front page?
712
00:48:34,820 --> 00:48:37,539
No, I was only looking for the silk list.
713
00:48:38,580 --> 00:48:41,936
Good heavens! Well, she never told me.
714
00:48:42,100 --> 00:48:45,092
She never told anyone,
not even her clerk.
715
00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:47,694
Oh, Portia, how thou art translated!
716
00:48:47,860 --> 00:48:52,411
So that's what she meant when she said
she was leaving the Bar.
717
00:48:58,340 --> 00:49:00,900
(Clerk) Silence in court! All stand!
718
00:49:21,140 --> 00:49:23,335
If your ladyship pleases...
719
00:49:24,420 --> 00:49:26,376
Yes, Mr Erskine-Brown?
720
00:49:26,540 --> 00:49:31,898
Your ladyship has, of course, with
your ladyship's usual firm judgment,
721
00:49:32,060 --> 00:49:35,132
put your finger upon the very nub
of this case.
722
00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:40,373
Mr Erskine-Brown, if you have a point,
please get to it.
723
00:49:40,540 --> 00:49:42,496
(Phone rings)
724
00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:53,458
Yes? Yes, Rumpole speaking.
725
00:49:53,620 --> 00:49:58,455
Oh, Detective Sergeant Appleby.
No, no, I don't mind you ringing late.
726
00:50:00,100 --> 00:50:01,613
Hilda!
727
00:50:01,780 --> 00:50:04,340
Ssh, Rumpole, I'm meant to be asleep!
728
00:50:04,500 --> 00:50:08,334
You were right about the fingerprints.
They found one!
729
00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:10,570
Hilda, are you awake?
730
00:50:10,740 --> 00:50:12,696
I am now.
731
00:50:12,860 --> 00:50:17,934
Thumbprint from someone sent down for
robbery with violence many years ago,
732
00:50:18,100 --> 00:50:22,651
who drives for the great cricketer
and reforms the young, Fred Bry.
733
00:50:22,820 --> 00:50:26,256
It was Fred Bry
who entered our premises by night.
734
00:50:26,420 --> 00:50:28,888
You know what this means, don't you?
735
00:50:29,060 --> 00:50:32,894
It means the case of Joby Jonson
is not entirely over!
736
00:50:33,060 --> 00:50:37,531
In which case, I'm very glad
I had that burglar alarm installed.
737
00:50:37,700 --> 00:50:39,656
Good night, Rumpole.
738
00:50:44,700 --> 00:50:46,930
- Hilda...
- Yes?
739
00:50:47,100 --> 00:50:50,649
- Are you still awake?
- Yes, unfortunately.
740
00:50:50,820 --> 00:50:56,019
Thank you for insisting about
chasing up those fingerprints, Hilda.
741
00:50:56,180 --> 00:51:01,129
It just goes to show how important it is
to have a woman on the case.
742
00:51:01,380 --> 00:51:04,520
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00:51:04,570 --> 00:51:09,120
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