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1
00:00:02,186 --> 00:00:03,703
So the other day,
2
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,172
this guy in the office asks me,
3
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,774
"what weighs more,
4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:12,111
a pound of feathers
or a pound of lead?"
5
00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:13,579
It's a riddle.
6
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,015
Heh.
I'll say it is.
7
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,718
Adam, they're both the same.
8
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:22,588
Yeah, lead is the same
as feathers.
9
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:23,923
Remind me not to come over
to your place
10
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:26,876
for a pillow fight.
11
00:00:26,877 --> 00:00:28,194
Wow.
12
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,263
It was either come here
for breakfast
13
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,700
or stay home and figure out
what's stinking up the fridge.
14
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,718
Hey, Audrey,
back to the pillow fight thing,
15
00:00:35,719 --> 00:00:38,338
if you and your gal pals
ever need a referee--
16
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,189
- all right, I'll be home
17
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:43,142
with my head in the fridge.
18
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:44,911
You guys want to hear
something interesting?
19
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,512
Uh, well, that depends.
20
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:50,049
I can't take on another
riddle right now.
21
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,517
No, tomorrow's my anniversary.
22
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,453
Hey, congrats, man.
How many years?
23
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,488
- 16.
- Ahh.
24
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:59,375
If your marriage was a girl,
I could date it.
25
00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:01,127
That would be 18.
26
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:02,695
It is?
27
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,564
When did they change that?
28
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:09,235
And the big thing is,
this year...I remembered.
29
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,837
Hmm.
30
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:11,938
And how did you do that?
31
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,706
Well, yesterday at work
I was spinning
32
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,908
my wedding ring,
trying to break my record
33
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,878
of 72 seconds...
34
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,847
When it flew off the desk
and went under the radiator.
35
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:24,917
Did you break the record?
36
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:25,918
No.
37
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,938
Ahh! God!
38
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:30,256
Oh!
39
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,525
Guys, when I went to go get it,
40
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:36,496
I noticed our wedding date
engraved on the inside.
41
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,631
But I haven't even told you guys
the best part.
42
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:41,200
That I believe.
43
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,169
Usually by this time of year,
Audrey's dropped
44
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,271
a bunch of hints about what
she'd like me to get her
45
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,106
or what she wants to do,
but this year, nothing.
46
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:51,077
I'm thinking maybe she forgot.
47
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,312
Oh, hey, buddy,
I'm really sorry.
48
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,647
Why?
49
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,249
It'd be the greatest thing
that ever happened.
50
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,784
Better than the time
that that squirrel
51
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,219
beat up a possum?
52
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,387
I don't believe that happened.
53
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:05,258
I know what I saw.
54
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,259
Anyway, why is it so great
55
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,560
that she forgot your
anniversary?
56
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,861
'Cause usually I forget.
57
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,330
I've been the goat in our
marriage for a long time.
58
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,332
I forget things.
I'm selfish.
59
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:17,036
I'm insensitive.
That's not gonna change.
60
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:20,173
If I remember the same year
Audrey forgot,
61
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,107
I totally win.
62
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:26,746
And more importantly,
she loses.
63
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:32,652
Oh, I think she lost
16 years ago.
64
00:02:33,174 --> 00:02:36,866
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
65
00:02:58,816 --> 00:03:01,801
Hey, you would not believe
this Italian girl
66
00:03:01,802 --> 00:03:03,019
I met last night.
67
00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:04,487
Why is it you feel the need
68
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:07,657
to tell me of every woman
into whose pants you gain entry?
69
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:10,526
I have yet to gain entry.
70
00:03:10,527 --> 00:03:12,161
Uh, she doesn't speak English
71
00:03:12,162 --> 00:03:13,546
and my Italian's
a little rusty,
72
00:03:13,547 --> 00:03:14,831
but I will tell you
that her pantalones
73
00:03:14,832 --> 00:03:18,034
are muy caliente.
74
00:03:18,035 --> 00:03:19,936
That's Spanish.
75
00:03:19,937 --> 00:03:22,905
Ahh.
Merci.
76
00:03:22,906 --> 00:03:25,541
French.
77
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:27,243
See?
This is why I need you.
78
00:03:27,244 --> 00:03:28,945
I need you to come along
on my date tomorrow night
79
00:03:28,946 --> 00:03:30,113
and be our translator.
80
00:03:30,114 --> 00:03:31,848
And that brings us
to the part of the morning
81
00:03:31,849 --> 00:03:35,184
where I ask, "why me?"
82
00:03:35,185 --> 00:03:37,570
Well, I'm assuming you speak
Italian, right?
83
00:03:37,571 --> 00:03:39,388
I mean, you speak Spanish
and French.
84
00:03:39,389 --> 00:03:42,191
What's that crazy one you
do on the phone with your mom?
85
00:03:42,192 --> 00:03:44,160
It's so irritating.
86
00:03:44,161 --> 00:03:47,597
Honestly, this is you asking
me for a favor?
87
00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:49,582
I'll pass.
88
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,250
Well, wait.
89
00:03:51,251 --> 00:03:54,754
Would you pass on this?
90
00:03:54,755 --> 00:03:56,572
[Sniffs]
91
00:03:56,573 --> 00:04:01,110
Smells good.
92
00:04:01,111 --> 00:04:03,112
I wouldn't even consider this
93
00:04:03,113 --> 00:04:04,480
if I weren't grossly underpaid
94
00:04:04,481 --> 00:04:06,882
and in desperate need of cash
to pay off student loans.
95
00:04:06,883 --> 00:04:09,235
No.
96
00:04:09,236 --> 00:04:11,771
Not quite, termite.
97
00:04:11,772 --> 00:04:13,856
You'll get your money
at the end of the date.
98
00:04:13,857 --> 00:04:17,360
Ahh, the policy for all your
romantic encounters.
99
00:04:20,697 --> 00:04:22,532
Hey, what do you want
to do tomorrow night?
100
00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,767
Um, want to see a movie?
101
00:04:24,768 --> 00:04:25,952
I'll bring my man-purse.
102
00:04:25,953 --> 00:04:29,172
We can sneak in
a bunch of candy.
103
00:04:29,173 --> 00:04:31,340
Not that I'm not turned on
by that,
104
00:04:31,341 --> 00:04:33,459
but I was thinking we could
do something different.
105
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:34,977
What about bowling?
106
00:04:34,978 --> 00:04:38,097
Um, I don't think so.
107
00:04:38,098 --> 00:04:39,715
Why not?
108
00:04:39,716 --> 00:04:41,934
Weren't you, like,
junior champ or something?
109
00:04:41,935 --> 00:04:43,419
- It was all-county junior men's
bowling champion,
110
00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:45,588
division one.
111
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:49,292
I can't bowl in
a non-competitive situation.
112
00:04:49,293 --> 00:04:52,128
Well, don't take it
so seriously.
113
00:04:52,129 --> 00:04:53,663
Just relax and have fun.
114
00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:58,451
[Chuckles]
115
00:04:58,452 --> 00:05:03,472
Honey, it's not a switch
I can just turn off, you know?
116
00:05:03,473 --> 00:05:06,342
I have to bowl at the peak level
of my ability.
117
00:05:06,343 --> 00:05:07,977
Period.
118
00:05:07,978 --> 00:05:09,712
Come on.
119
00:05:09,713 --> 00:05:12,081
It would be sexy seeing you
do something you're great at.
120
00:05:12,082 --> 00:05:15,451
Oh, yeah,
you've got that right.
121
00:05:15,452 --> 00:05:16,752
Whew!
122
00:05:16,753 --> 00:05:19,188
I was pretty popular
with the alley cats.
123
00:05:19,189 --> 00:05:22,258
That's what we called
the bowling groupies.
124
00:05:22,259 --> 00:05:25,127
- Yeah, maybe the man-purse
full of candy
125
00:05:25,128 --> 00:05:26,996
was the way to go.
126
00:05:26,997 --> 00:05:30,299
Too late.
You lit the fuse.
127
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:33,502
Tomorrow night,
the Adamizer rolls.
128
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,326
Okay, thank you.
Hey.
129
00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:41,510
Hey.
130
00:05:41,511 --> 00:05:43,813
I just ordered Audrey
a huge bouquet
131
00:05:43,814 --> 00:05:45,915
of anniversary flowers.
132
00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:46,983
Oh, she'll love that.
133
00:05:46,984 --> 00:05:48,384
No, she won't.
134
00:05:48,385 --> 00:05:49,919
Just make her realize
that she forgot.
135
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,721
She'll feel like garbage.
136
00:05:51,722 --> 00:05:54,657
I also made fancy dinner
reservations.
137
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:57,059
Will she love that?
138
00:05:57,060 --> 00:06:00,463
No, she'll feel too guilty.
139
00:06:00,464 --> 00:06:04,600
This is gonna be great.
140
00:06:04,601 --> 00:06:08,304
Your relationship
is different than mine.
141
00:06:08,305 --> 00:06:10,373
Hey, don't worry.
[Elevator bell rings]
142
00:06:10,374 --> 00:06:13,059
You'll get there.
143
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:17,046
Hey, Jeff, but what
if Audrey didn't forget?
144
00:06:17,047 --> 00:06:18,281
Huh?
145
00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:20,349
I mean, what if she's
just not saying anything
146
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:21,884
'cause she's planning
a surprise?
147
00:06:21,885 --> 00:06:23,586
Huh.
148
00:06:23,587 --> 00:06:26,722
Well, she knows
I hate surprises...
149
00:06:26,723 --> 00:06:27,890
So you could be right.
150
00:06:27,891 --> 00:06:29,392
- Mm-hmm.
151
00:06:29,393 --> 00:06:30,993
Find out if that's what
she's up to.
152
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:34,096
- Look, why don't you just
be a loving hus--
153
00:06:34,097 --> 00:06:36,265
- no, no, no.
Here's the move.
154
00:06:36,266 --> 00:06:37,917
You come on in with me
and you invite us
155
00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:39,402
to go do something really lame
156
00:06:39,403 --> 00:06:40,903
with you and Jen
tomorrow night.
157
00:06:40,904 --> 00:06:41,771
Can't.
158
00:06:41,772 --> 00:06:42,838
Already made plans
to go bowling.
159
00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,090
Perfect.
160
00:06:44,091 --> 00:06:45,474
If she accepts, she clearly
161
00:06:45,475 --> 00:06:46,609
has nothing planned.
162
00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:49,545
Okay?
Okay...Fine.
163
00:06:49,546 --> 00:06:51,314
But, look,
if you're gonna bowl with me,
164
00:06:51,315 --> 00:06:52,915
you have to play by the rules.
165
00:06:52,916 --> 00:06:55,251
You mean throw the ball
and try to knock down the pins?
166
00:06:55,252 --> 00:06:57,053
[Chuckles]
167
00:06:57,054 --> 00:06:59,255
It's a little more complicated
than that.
168
00:06:59,256 --> 00:07:00,923
It really isn't.
169
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,128
Hey.
Hey.
170
00:07:06,129 --> 00:07:07,930
How was work?
Oh, it was great.
171
00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:10,132
You ought to try it.
172
00:07:16,273 --> 00:07:18,240
Oh!
173
00:07:18,241 --> 00:07:20,476
I just had a thought.
174
00:07:20,477 --> 00:07:22,678
Um, Jen and I are going bowling
tomorrow night.
175
00:07:22,679 --> 00:07:24,280
You guys want to come?
176
00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:26,115
Bowling, huh?
177
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:28,651
Well, what an intriguing offer.
178
00:07:28,652 --> 00:07:31,420
What do you think, Aud?
179
00:07:31,421 --> 00:07:34,824
Sure.
Yeah.
180
00:07:34,825 --> 00:07:36,359
Let's go bowling.
181
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,427
Puts us one bird-beak
phonograph away
182
00:07:38,428 --> 00:07:40,129
from being the flintstones.
183
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,114
Well then.
184
00:07:42,115 --> 00:07:43,899
Tomorrow night, we shall bowl.
185
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:47,603
That shall be the activity
of the evening.
186
00:07:47,604 --> 00:07:49,872
Okay.
187
00:07:49,873 --> 00:07:53,743
What time do you think
we should go to--
188
00:07:56,913 --> 00:08:02,385
- I am just really excited
about bowling.
189
00:08:08,497 --> 00:08:12,634
So, Sophia, what brought
you here from Italy?
190
00:08:16,906 --> 00:08:18,907
Allora, cosa ti porta
191
00:08:18,908 --> 00:08:20,108
qui dall'italia?
192
00:08:20,109 --> 00:08:22,644
Inizialment sono venuta
a visitare amici,
193
00:08:22,645 --> 00:08:25,914
pero ripensandoci vorrei
restare a prendere una classe.
194
00:08:25,915 --> 00:08:27,515
Ahh.
195
00:08:31,353 --> 00:08:33,188
She initially came
to visit friends,
196
00:08:33,189 --> 00:08:34,522
but she thinks she'll stay on
197
00:08:34,523 --> 00:08:36,124
and perhaps take some classes.
198
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:39,327
Oh, nice.
199
00:08:39,328 --> 00:08:40,862
Well, tell her no need
to worry,
200
00:08:40,863 --> 00:08:42,764
she's got all the class
in the world.
201
00:08:42,765 --> 00:08:46,134
I'm not saying that.
202
00:08:46,135 --> 00:08:50,705
Tell her.
203
00:08:50,706 --> 00:08:52,373
Non ha bisogno
di fare lezioni
204
00:08:52,374 --> 00:08:54,609
ha Gia molte classe.
205
00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:56,144
Aww.
[Giggles]
206
00:08:56,145 --> 00:08:57,312
- Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha.
207
00:08:57,313 --> 00:09:00,048
Ahh, she liked that one.
208
00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:03,551
I'm sure she was just humoring
you with a fake laugh.
209
00:09:03,552 --> 00:09:09,124
I think I would know
if a woman is faking it.
210
00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:11,459
He said proudly.
211
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:14,095
Are you ready to order?
212
00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,396
Oh, very much so.
213
00:09:15,397 --> 00:09:17,282
A gourmet meal is
the only silver lining
214
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:18,666
to this whole ordeal.
215
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,902
Ah!
No food for you.
216
00:09:20,903 --> 00:09:23,972
I don't want you chewing
while you're translating.
217
00:09:23,973 --> 00:09:25,340
- But--
- No, no.
218
00:09:25,341 --> 00:09:28,042
I need your mouth available.
219
00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:30,178
[Chuckles]
220
00:09:30,179 --> 00:09:34,883
I need her mouth available too.
221
00:09:34,884 --> 00:09:39,420
Tell her.
222
00:09:39,421 --> 00:09:43,625
Tell her!
223
00:09:47,279 --> 00:09:50,198
So you deliver the flowers
to Audrey yet?
224
00:09:50,199 --> 00:09:51,933
Oh, I canceled 'em.
225
00:09:51,934 --> 00:09:53,468
Why?
226
00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:55,103
Well, I realized it would
have reminded her
227
00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:57,372
that she forgot, so she could
228
00:09:57,373 --> 00:10:00,308
run out to get a gift,
claim she knew all along,
229
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,243
and stolen my glory.
230
00:10:02,244 --> 00:10:04,078
Hmm.
231
00:10:04,079 --> 00:10:05,246
That's good thinking.
232
00:10:05,247 --> 00:10:06,781
I also printed out
confirmations
233
00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:09,751
of the dinner reservation
and flowers
234
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:13,621
so that I have evidence
that I remembered.
235
00:10:13,622 --> 00:10:14,956
You guys are all set.
236
00:10:14,957 --> 00:10:17,458
You're on lanes 4, 10, and 12.
237
00:10:17,459 --> 00:10:20,495
- Excuse me.
Do you have ten-pound balls?
238
00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:22,096
Yes.
239
00:10:25,968 --> 00:10:27,101
Uh, quick question.
240
00:10:27,102 --> 00:10:30,638
When was the last time
you washed your balls?
241
00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:32,307
The balls get washed
once a week.
242
00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:34,475
Interesting.
243
00:10:34,476 --> 00:10:37,979
[Suppressed laugh]
244
00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:39,013
[Sighs]
245
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,716
I'm gonna go do some
visualizing.
246
00:10:41,717 --> 00:10:42,984
Uh, one more question.
247
00:10:42,985 --> 00:10:46,153
Do you have blue balls?
248
00:10:48,424 --> 00:10:51,192
Sir, Sophia is in
the ladies room.
249
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:52,126
For God's sake,
250
00:10:52,127 --> 00:10:56,130
may I please have
a piece of bread?
251
00:10:56,131 --> 00:10:57,832
Fine.
Go quick.
252
00:10:57,833 --> 00:10:59,634
[Sighs]
253
00:10:59,635 --> 00:11:01,553
Here she comes.
254
00:11:01,554 --> 00:11:03,738
Ahh!
[Chuckles]
255
00:11:03,739 --> 00:11:06,173
Aloha.
256
00:11:06,174 --> 00:11:09,611
Hey, um, tell her
how worldly I am
257
00:11:09,612 --> 00:11:14,115
and that I've traveled
Europe expensively.
258
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:17,018
I assume you mean
"extensively."
259
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:18,853
No, "expensively."
260
00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:22,023
I want her to know
how loaded I am.
261
00:11:22,024 --> 00:11:24,492
She already knows that
from when you had me tell her
262
00:11:24,493 --> 00:11:27,829
you wanted to name one
of your boats after her.
263
00:11:27,830 --> 00:11:30,531
And, sir, you can
do better than that.
264
00:11:30,532 --> 00:11:32,567
What am I supposed
to name all my boats after her?
265
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,336
The whole fleet?
266
00:11:35,337 --> 00:11:39,757
You have no boats.
267
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:42,877
I'm saying you should be open
and honest with her
268
00:11:42,878 --> 00:11:44,479
and let her know what's
in your heart.
269
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,716
All right, take it easy,
Timminy cricket.
270
00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:52,103
Okay, tell her...
271
00:11:52,104 --> 00:11:53,721
I'd like to know...
272
00:11:53,722 --> 00:11:55,857
Okay.
273
00:11:55,858 --> 00:11:58,660
What...Color her
underpants are.
274
00:11:58,661 --> 00:12:01,396
[Giggles]
275
00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:04,265
No.
276
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,000
Oh, 'cause she's European,
277
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:07,502
she might not be wearing any.
Got you.
278
00:12:07,503 --> 00:12:09,337
Okay.
Okay.
279
00:12:09,338 --> 00:12:10,905
- Good night.
- No, no, no.
280
00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:12,090
Stay.
281
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:13,775
Okay, I'm sorry.
282
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:16,611
[Sighs] All right.
283
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:18,463
Tell her I'm glad I met her
284
00:12:18,464 --> 00:12:20,882
and maybe she'd like to tell me
285
00:12:20,883 --> 00:12:24,585
about her family in Italy.
286
00:12:24,586 --> 00:12:25,987
Well, there you go, sir.
287
00:12:25,988 --> 00:12:28,523
Honest, simple, from the heart.
288
00:12:28,524 --> 00:12:29,724
All right, just tell her.
289
00:12:29,725 --> 00:12:31,559
Ahem.
290
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,829
Sono veramente felice
di averla conosciuta
291
00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:36,998
e sono ansioso
di sapere di piu
292
00:12:36,999 --> 00:12:38,666
della sua famiglia
in ltalia.
293
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:42,537
[Speaking Italian]
294
00:12:45,007 --> 00:12:48,009
Well?
295
00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:50,128
Um...
296
00:12:50,129 --> 00:12:51,713
She was hoping to pursue
297
00:12:51,714 --> 00:12:53,047
a purely physical relationship.
298
00:12:53,048 --> 00:12:54,115
[Chuckles]
299
00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:56,651
Ahh!
Ahh!
300
00:12:56,652 --> 00:13:00,555
Pants one, heart zero.
All right.
301
00:13:00,556 --> 00:13:06,460
Fisico.
302
00:13:06,461 --> 00:13:08,363
So, Audrey,
are you enjoying this evening,
303
00:13:08,364 --> 00:13:10,198
which is distinguished solely
by the fact
304
00:13:10,199 --> 00:13:11,299
that we went bowling?
305
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,335
Um, yeah.
So far, so good.
306
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:17,271
Okay.
307
00:13:17,272 --> 00:13:20,141
Oh, you and Jen each have
your own bowling balls?
308
00:13:20,142 --> 00:13:21,826
No, they're both mine.
309
00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:23,578
One's a spare ball.
310
00:13:23,579 --> 00:13:25,213
All right, we'll just use that.
311
00:13:25,214 --> 00:13:27,198
No, no, no.
312
00:13:27,199 --> 00:13:29,367
It's not an extra ball.
It's a ball for spares.
313
00:13:29,368 --> 00:13:31,052
The other one is for strikes.
314
00:13:31,053 --> 00:13:33,087
You got to be kidding me.
315
00:13:33,088 --> 00:13:37,175
Have you never been
to a sanctioned bowling event?
316
00:13:39,161 --> 00:13:42,930
Well, this should be
really fun.
317
00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:48,202
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
318
00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:53,474
Ask Sophia if she'd like
to come back to my place.
319
00:13:53,475 --> 00:13:54,442
Fine.
320
00:13:54,443 --> 00:13:55,676
I hope she can hear me
over the sound
321
00:13:55,677 --> 00:13:58,529
of my stomach eating
its own lining.
322
00:13:58,530 --> 00:14:00,314
Vorrebbe ritornare
a casa mia?
323
00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:02,417
Si.
324
00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:09,223
Yes, she's ready.
325
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,359
Oh, okay.
326
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,661
My dirty work here is done.
327
00:14:13,662 --> 00:14:16,964
- No, ba-ba-ba-ba.
328
00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:19,534
Oh, you're not done.
329
00:14:21,553 --> 00:14:22,970
Si.
330
00:14:22,971 --> 00:14:25,573
Yes.
331
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,108
Si.
332
00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:29,844
Yes.
333
00:14:29,845 --> 00:14:31,446
Oh, si.
334
00:14:31,447 --> 00:14:35,917
Oh, yes.
335
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,486
Yes!
Yes, yes, yes.
336
00:14:38,487 --> 00:14:39,754
Whoo!
337
00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:41,072
Oh, Adam, I accidentally
took your turn
338
00:14:41,073 --> 00:14:43,558
when you were in the bathroom,
but you can take mine.
339
00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:48,562
Great, I'd be happy
to add to your...37.
340
00:14:48,563 --> 00:14:51,265
Uh...Sorry.
341
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,433
No problem, Audrey.
342
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:53,734
I was working on a turkey,
343
00:14:53,735 --> 00:14:55,736
but thanks for
the two-pin contribution.
344
00:14:55,737 --> 00:14:59,173
Hey, why don't, uh,
we take a break?
345
00:14:59,174 --> 00:15:01,008
We'll have a little time-out
and I'll get us some drinks.
346
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:04,912
Oh, I'll help.
347
00:15:04,913 --> 00:15:06,981
All right, Audrey has
said nothing
348
00:15:06,982 --> 00:15:08,950
about our anniversary
and it's too late
349
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,585
for her to throw
anything together.
350
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:11,619
It's go time.
351
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,421
All right,
what are you gonna do?
352
00:15:13,422 --> 00:15:15,756
When she comes back,
I'm gonna grab a ball...
353
00:15:15,757 --> 00:15:17,859
- Mm-hmm.
- Gonna bowl a strike...
354
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:19,794
- Not with that
follow-through.
355
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:21,195
Then I'll turn around
and I'm gonna say,
356
00:15:21,196 --> 00:15:23,898
"happy anniversary."
357
00:15:23,899 --> 00:15:27,101
This is gonna be my shining
moment as a husband.
358
00:15:27,102 --> 00:15:30,371
My moment of triumph.
359
00:15:30,372 --> 00:15:31,438
Happy anniversary.
360
00:15:31,439 --> 00:15:32,773
- What the--
361
00:15:32,774 --> 00:15:34,575
- happy anniversary, honey.
362
00:15:34,576 --> 00:15:36,160
- You remembered?
- Of course.
363
00:15:36,161 --> 00:15:37,328
What?
Just now?
364
00:15:37,329 --> 00:15:38,679
You ran and you grabbed
a bowling alley cake
365
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,214
is what you did?
366
00:15:40,215 --> 00:15:41,782
[Chuckles] No.
367
00:15:41,783 --> 00:15:42,917
This came from that bakery
that you love
368
00:15:42,918 --> 00:15:44,652
on 72nd street.
369
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:47,722
And I know you've had a lot
to deal with this year
370
00:15:47,723 --> 00:15:50,324
with me quitting my job
and finding a surrogate
371
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,826
and all that nonsense
and I didn't want
372
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,127
to put anymore pressure on you.
373
00:15:53,128 --> 00:15:55,462
So it's okay that you
forgot again.
374
00:15:55,463 --> 00:15:56,647
I am not upset.
375
00:15:56,648 --> 00:15:59,317
Well, this year,
I didn't forget.
376
00:15:59,318 --> 00:16:00,601
I remembered.
377
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:02,203
Okay.
378
00:16:02,204 --> 00:16:03,905
Jeff, you don't
have to do that.
379
00:16:03,906 --> 00:16:05,573
I told you I am not upset.
380
00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:07,141
No, really.
I remembered.
381
00:16:07,142 --> 00:16:08,609
Yeah. No.
Yeah, yeah, he's got proof.
382
00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:09,877
Yo, show her the receipts.
383
00:16:09,878 --> 00:16:11,863
No.
384
00:16:11,864 --> 00:16:14,749
- What receipts?
- There are no receipts.
385
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:17,051
I, uh--I forgot.
386
00:16:17,052 --> 00:16:19,086
They're right there
in his pocket.
387
00:16:19,087 --> 00:16:20,872
No, they're not.
388
00:16:20,873 --> 00:16:23,257
Yeah.
389
00:16:23,258 --> 00:16:24,525
Oh!
390
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:25,960
A dinner reservation
and a receipt
391
00:16:25,961 --> 00:16:27,895
from a florist.
392
00:16:27,896 --> 00:16:29,463
So why am I not
at this restaurant
393
00:16:29,464 --> 00:16:31,349
smelling these flowers?
394
00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:35,203
You're not focusing
on the right thing here.
395
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:38,272
The point is...
396
00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:42,276
I remembered.
397
00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:44,278
And you thought I forgot.
398
00:16:44,279 --> 00:16:46,380
So you--
399
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:49,183
you canceled the dinner
and the flowers,
400
00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:53,687
but retained the confirmation
to shove in my face?
401
00:16:53,688 --> 00:16:55,923
Happy anniversary.
402
00:17:00,696 --> 00:17:03,197
I don't want you hanging
around with him anymore.
403
00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:10,638
Now can we get back to bowling?
404
00:17:20,215 --> 00:17:22,950
Hey.
405
00:17:22,951 --> 00:17:27,188
I got you these.
406
00:17:27,189 --> 00:17:31,592
You still mad?
407
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,527
You mean from the worst thing
you've ever done
408
00:17:33,528 --> 00:17:35,730
that happened 20 minutes ago?
409
00:17:35,731 --> 00:17:40,501
Still raw?
I hear you.
410
00:17:40,502 --> 00:17:43,404
But these flowers
are just temporary
411
00:17:43,405 --> 00:17:47,642
and not just because
they're mostly dead.
412
00:17:47,643 --> 00:17:50,411
I re-ordered you the giant
bouquet of flowers
413
00:17:50,412 --> 00:17:54,749
and we have those dinner
reservations for tomorrow night.
414
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:57,318
Well, that's a start.
415
00:17:57,319 --> 00:18:00,588
You have your choice
of 5:15 or 10:45.
416
00:18:04,159 --> 00:18:08,095
You know, if you spent
a fraction of the time
417
00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:10,364
you spend game playing and
plotting against me
418
00:18:10,365 --> 00:18:11,599
toward nice things--
419
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,733
- I won't deny it.
420
00:18:12,734 --> 00:18:16,537
This one kind of got away
from me.
421
00:18:16,538 --> 00:18:17,605
But I, uh--
422
00:18:17,606 --> 00:18:20,074
I'm really sorry.
423
00:18:20,075 --> 00:18:21,409
I got to get to the gym.
424
00:18:21,410 --> 00:18:25,112
I'm tense.
I've been tense.
425
00:18:25,113 --> 00:18:26,614
[Sighs]
426
00:18:26,615 --> 00:18:28,816
I know you have been.
427
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:31,886
I was just so proud of myself
when I remembered.
428
00:18:31,887 --> 00:18:34,639
Well, at least it shows
you were trying
429
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:35,756
to be a good husband.
430
00:18:35,757 --> 00:18:37,792
- Then when I thought
you forgot--
431
00:18:37,793 --> 00:18:41,429
- you got greedy.
432
00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:43,464
I did.
433
00:18:43,465 --> 00:18:47,568
I flew too close to the sun.
434
00:18:47,569 --> 00:18:50,604
Well, to use a phrase I've used
435
00:18:50,605 --> 00:18:52,807
far too often
on our anniversary...
436
00:18:52,808 --> 00:18:53,908
- Mm-hmm?
437
00:18:53,909 --> 00:18:56,610
I forgive you.
438
00:18:56,611 --> 00:18:58,579
- You do?
- Meh, come on.
439
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,548
We're 16 years in.
440
00:19:00,549 --> 00:19:04,151
Nobody's going anywhere.
441
00:19:04,152 --> 00:19:06,520
[Chuckles]
442
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,522
Ohh, who would have thought
443
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,057
you remembering our anniversary
444
00:19:10,058 --> 00:19:13,561
would be so much worse
than you forgetting?
445
00:19:13,562 --> 00:19:15,730
Well, don't worry.
446
00:19:15,731 --> 00:19:17,465
It won't happen again.
447
00:19:17,466 --> 00:19:19,100
[Giggles]
448
00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:20,668
You know, Audrey, sometimes
449
00:19:20,669 --> 00:19:23,003
I don't think I deserve you.
450
00:19:23,004 --> 00:19:28,342
So there are times
when you think you do?
451
00:19:28,343 --> 00:19:31,479
[Chuckles]
452
00:19:37,386 --> 00:19:40,220
Timmy?
453
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,739
Timmy.
454
00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:44,358
I need you.
455
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:45,860
Oh, again?
456
00:19:45,861 --> 00:19:47,244
Sir, at a certain point,
457
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:49,997
I really don't think
this is about the translating.
458
00:19:49,998 --> 00:19:51,532
No, no, no.
459
00:19:51,533 --> 00:19:54,301
You got to help me eject her
from the cockpit.
460
00:19:54,302 --> 00:19:55,770
At some point during the night,
461
00:19:55,771 --> 00:19:59,907
she got a little clingy
and annoying.
462
00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:05,129
Well, you know,
sir, that's your problem,
463
00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,798
because my translating duties
are over.
464
00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:10,484
Oh, that's funny, 'cause my
paying you duties are over.
465
00:20:10,485 --> 00:20:12,053
What?
466
00:20:12,054 --> 00:20:13,587
Bon giorno.
467
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,690
- Ah-ha-ha-ha.
468
00:20:16,691 --> 00:20:18,726
All right, tell her, uh...
469
00:20:18,727 --> 00:20:23,264
You know, I had fun,
but we both know the score.
470
00:20:25,901 --> 00:20:29,870
Fine.
471
00:20:29,871 --> 00:20:33,808
Vorrei vederti di nuovo al piu
presto possibile.
472
00:20:38,814 --> 00:20:41,115
Uh, you know,
I wish her the best,
473
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:45,002
but I gots to move on.
474
00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:47,304
Okay.
475
00:20:47,305 --> 00:20:50,057
Se vuoi sposarti per la carta
di soggiorno,
476
00:20:50,058 --> 00:20:54,261
io sono disponibile.
477
00:20:54,262 --> 00:20:57,631
Oh, grazie!
478
00:20:57,632 --> 00:21:00,401
Well, she's taking it like
a real trooper.
479
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,000
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480
00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:12,600
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