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1
00:00:01,338 --> 00:00:02,772
Hey, do you want
the rest of my--
2
00:00:02,773 --> 00:00:05,141
Okay.
3
00:00:05,142 --> 00:00:06,643
Actually,
I was gonna say eggs.
4
00:00:06,644 --> 00:00:08,478
Okay.
5
00:00:08,479 --> 00:00:11,347
You know, it's not you
versus your cholesterol pills.
6
00:00:11,348 --> 00:00:14,651
You're supposed to be
working together.
7
00:00:16,854 --> 00:00:18,321
You know,
I do love my single life,
8
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:19,856
But it would be nice
to have someone
9
00:00:19,857 --> 00:00:21,257
Who didn't want me to die.
10
00:00:21,258 --> 00:00:25,228
Well, you do--
a whole city full of escorts.
11
00:00:25,229 --> 00:00:28,331
I'm just saying if you watch
the beginning closely,
12
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,433
- It gives away the ending.
- Oh, my god.
13
00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:32,335
Is he still talking
about inception?
14
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:35,471
No. Rudolph
the red-nosed reindeer.
15
00:00:35,472 --> 00:00:37,207
They play this song
at the beginning,
16
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:38,741
And it gives away
the ending.
17
00:00:38,742 --> 00:00:40,710
It'd be like if at the
beginning of the sixth sense
18
00:00:40,711 --> 00:00:42,178
They had a song that went,
19
00:00:42,179 --> 00:00:44,147
[singing to deck the halls]
♪ bruce willis helps a kid ♪
20
00:00:44,148 --> 00:00:45,648
♪ who sees ghosts ♪
21
00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:49,118
♪ but he's the only one
who's really dead ♪
22
00:00:49,119 --> 00:00:51,254
Anyway, I'm just here
23
00:00:51,255 --> 00:00:52,722
To grab some food and go.
24
00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:54,257
I'm taking a bus
to new jersey.
25
00:00:54,258 --> 00:00:56,092
I have to take
the family christmas picture.
26
00:00:56,093 --> 00:00:58,061
Oh. Is adam going?
27
00:00:58,062 --> 00:01:00,997
No. My mom wants
family only.
28
00:01:00,998 --> 00:01:03,099
And I found
the perfect sweater, but...
29
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,467
Whatever.
30
00:01:04,468 --> 00:01:06,069
Oh, wait!
31
00:01:06,070 --> 00:01:08,304
You're gonna miss
the office christmas party.
32
00:01:08,305 --> 00:01:09,739
Oh, guess I'll have to
wait to find out
33
00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:11,241
If it was a candy cane
in your pocket
34
00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:13,309
Or you were just happy
to see her.
35
00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:15,945
Spoiler alert:
It was both.
36
00:01:15,946 --> 00:01:18,681
- All right, I'll see you.
- Bye.
37
00:01:18,682 --> 00:01:20,917
Oh, I can't wait
to exchange christmas presents.
38
00:01:20,918 --> 00:01:22,719
I have the best gift for her.
39
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,088
I made her this coupon book
full of little favors,
40
00:01:25,089 --> 00:01:29,158
You know, like, um, with hugs
and massages and cuddles.
41
00:01:29,159 --> 00:01:31,694
Cuddles.
You gotta be kidding me.
42
00:01:31,695 --> 00:01:35,031
Here's a peek
into our home life.
43
00:01:35,032 --> 00:01:37,967
Oh, I have the greatest
present for jen too.
44
00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:40,803
Ah, no,
that's a candy cane.
45
00:01:40,804 --> 00:01:43,072
Excuse me. Could I get
some honey for my tea?
46
00:01:43,073 --> 00:01:44,807
Throat's a little sore.
47
00:01:44,808 --> 00:01:47,510
Yeah. Audrey and I went
to a christmas party last night,
48
00:01:47,511 --> 00:01:50,680
And as usual, she did
the lion's share of the talking.
49
00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:52,515
That's because
all you ever say is,
50
00:01:52,516 --> 00:01:55,251
"nice to see you,"
and, "where's the bar?"
51
00:01:55,252 --> 00:01:57,754
I really only care
about the second thing.
52
00:01:57,755 --> 00:01:59,355
Anyway,
that's why at parties
53
00:01:59,356 --> 00:02:01,524
I have to carry us
as a couple.
54
00:02:01,525 --> 00:02:04,527
Good thing I'm the funny one.
55
00:02:07,898 --> 00:02:09,732
- You're the funny one?
- You knew that.
56
00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:12,302
I don't think anyone
knew that.
57
00:02:12,303 --> 00:02:14,137
Audrey,
I think you're funny.
58
00:02:14,138 --> 00:02:15,471
- Thank you.
- Remember that time
59
00:02:15,472 --> 00:02:18,274
She wore that gray coat,
and it was like so ridiculous
60
00:02:18,275 --> 00:02:20,543
With the straps all over it
everywhere.
61
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:22,445
Oh, yeah, yeah,
that was hilarious.
62
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:26,582
And jeff said she looked like
a civil war general.
63
00:02:26,583 --> 00:02:29,052
Jackets like that are in.
64
00:02:29,053 --> 00:02:31,487
In 1863.
65
00:02:31,488 --> 00:02:34,090
[exaggerated southern accent]
my dearest annabel...
66
00:02:34,091 --> 00:02:38,061
The war rages on,
but I must thank you for the...
67
00:02:38,062 --> 00:02:40,563
Fine garments you...
68
00:02:40,564 --> 00:02:42,899
Procure.
69
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,535
Actually, audrey
is the butt of those jokes,
70
00:02:45,536 --> 00:02:48,638
So...You would be
the butt of the couple.
71
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,073
Mm-hmm.
72
00:02:50,074 --> 00:02:52,976
See, I don't have to resort
to cheap shots and insults.
73
00:02:52,977 --> 00:02:54,510
Like last night,
I got a great reaction
74
00:02:54,511 --> 00:02:57,046
When I told that story
about our trip to oahu.
75
00:02:57,047 --> 00:03:00,917
I think
it's pronounced ohio.
76
00:03:03,287 --> 00:03:05,355
Um...It's in hawaii.
77
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:08,858
[chuckles]
jeez...
78
00:03:08,859 --> 00:03:11,361
Somebody get her a map.
79
00:03:11,362 --> 00:03:12,829
Huh?
80
00:03:30,809 --> 00:03:36,788
81
00:03:40,917 --> 00:03:42,852
Timmy!
82
00:03:42,853 --> 00:03:45,087
It's gonna be
a very merry christmas.
83
00:03:45,088 --> 00:03:48,958
Or whatever creepy
pagan ritual you observe.
84
00:03:48,959 --> 00:03:50,926
What accounts
for your anticipation
85
00:03:50,927 --> 00:03:52,895
Of said merriment, sir?
86
00:03:52,896 --> 00:03:54,864
Well, I accidentally
stumbled upon
87
00:03:54,865 --> 00:03:57,633
Adam's homemade
christmas coupons for jen.
88
00:03:57,634 --> 00:04:00,669
You mean "went into
his office and stole."
89
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,671
Stumbled upon, yes.
90
00:04:02,672 --> 00:04:04,607
Oh, dear me.
91
00:04:04,608 --> 00:04:06,709
He's certainly liberal
with the glitter, isn't he?
92
00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,677
[chuckling] yes, he is.
But I figure
93
00:04:08,678 --> 00:04:11,013
Why restrict
adam's generosity to jen
94
00:04:11,014 --> 00:04:13,482
When the joy could be
spread to so many?
95
00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:15,017
I mean,
96
00:04:15,018 --> 00:04:19,688
Who wouldn't want
a backrub from adam?
97
00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:21,757
Or who wouldn't want--
[laughs]
98
00:04:21,758 --> 00:04:24,193
A shampooing from adam?
99
00:04:24,194 --> 00:04:26,595
Hey, who's that white kid
in shipping
100
00:04:26,596 --> 00:04:29,198
With the nasty dreads
with the bugs in 'em?
101
00:04:29,199 --> 00:04:33,068
- That would be Nate.
- Nate! Ah, good old Nate.
102
00:04:34,571 --> 00:04:36,238
What's wrong?
103
00:04:36,239 --> 00:04:38,407
I'm having fun at someone's
expense, and it's not yours.
104
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,075
You should be enjoying this.
105
00:04:40,076 --> 00:04:41,877
I suppose I'm still wistful
106
00:04:41,878 --> 00:04:43,479
About my breakup
with allison, sir.
107
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,080
I guess long-distance
relationships
108
00:04:45,081 --> 00:04:46,348
Are just too difficult--
109
00:04:46,349 --> 00:04:48,717
To listen to.
Yeah.
110
00:04:48,718 --> 00:04:49,952
You know what?
111
00:04:49,953 --> 00:04:51,854
I think the office
christmas party
112
00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:53,689
Is the perfect thing
to cheer you up.
113
00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:56,892
I'm not sure I'm really
in the mood for a party.
114
00:04:56,893 --> 00:04:58,928
Aw, come on, let's put
allison behind you
115
00:04:58,929 --> 00:05:02,064
And some other bimbo
under you.
116
00:05:02,065 --> 00:05:04,133
Perhaps it is time
for me to move on.
117
00:05:04,134 --> 00:05:06,535
I guess I won't meet anybody
new just sitting at home.
118
00:05:06,536 --> 00:05:08,037
Look, I wanna help you out.
119
00:05:08,038 --> 00:05:10,606
How 'bout I make you
official party greeter?
120
00:05:10,607 --> 00:05:12,675
Oh, I'd be honored, sir.
121
00:05:12,676 --> 00:05:14,910
Yeah. And I'm sorry
about you and allison.
122
00:05:14,911 --> 00:05:16,378
Would a hug help?
123
00:05:16,379 --> 00:05:17,913
You know, it just might.
124
00:05:17,914 --> 00:05:20,416
Ah, here you go, buddy.
125
00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:26,488
Wow!
126
00:05:26,489 --> 00:05:29,225
Your company really
stepped it up this year.
127
00:05:29,226 --> 00:05:30,392
I'll reserve judgment
128
00:05:30,393 --> 00:05:32,394
Until I see
the size of the shrimp.
129
00:05:32,395 --> 00:05:33,729
Hey, jeff.
130
00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:35,698
Oh, hey, nice to see you.
Where's the bar?
131
00:05:35,699 --> 00:05:37,933
[laughs]
it's right over there.
132
00:05:37,934 --> 00:05:40,402
Audrey, you remember dan
and his girlfriend barbara?
133
00:05:40,403 --> 00:05:41,704
- Hi.
- Actually, it's fiancee.
134
00:05:41,705 --> 00:05:43,272
Oh, dan and his girlfriend
fiancee.
135
00:05:43,273 --> 00:05:44,473
That's lovely.
136
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:48,043
No. Her name is barbara.
We just got engaged.
137
00:05:48,044 --> 00:05:49,578
Oh, well, that makes sense.
138
00:05:49,579 --> 00:05:51,113
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
139
00:05:51,114 --> 00:05:52,281
Hey, little advice.
140
00:05:52,282 --> 00:05:54,083
On the road to marriage...
141
00:05:54,084 --> 00:05:55,918
Don't be afraid
to drive drunk.
142
00:05:55,919 --> 00:05:57,486
[both laughing]
143
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,989
And if you are gonna
follow his roadmap,
144
00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:01,290
Don't get lost,
145
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:05,995
'cause he's not gonna
ask for directions!
146
00:06:05,996 --> 00:06:08,831
Why would I ask for
directions if, uh,
147
00:06:08,832 --> 00:06:10,132
We have a roadmap?
148
00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:12,501
Uh...No.
That's why it's funny.
149
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,937
You know, 'cause guys
don't ask for directions.
150
00:06:14,938 --> 00:06:16,672
Dan does.
151
00:06:16,673 --> 00:06:18,474
Okay.
152
00:06:18,475 --> 00:06:20,042
But...That's unusual.
153
00:06:20,043 --> 00:06:22,111
Especially now that
everybody's got gps.
154
00:06:22,112 --> 00:06:24,847
- [both laughing]
- gps!
155
00:06:24,848 --> 00:06:26,615
That wasn't even a joke.
156
00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:28,784
He was just stating the facts.
157
00:06:28,785 --> 00:06:32,154
Must be the way he said it.
[both laughing]
158
00:06:32,155 --> 00:06:34,957
- Uh, what are you doing?
- What do you mean?
159
00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:38,160
Wait, are you trying to prove
that you're the funny one?
160
00:06:38,161 --> 00:06:40,296
- No.
- 'cause if you are,
161
00:06:40,297 --> 00:06:43,532
I'll run home and grab that
civil war jacket for ya.
162
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,367
They're very in!
163
00:06:50,006 --> 00:06:51,307
[knock knock]
164
00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:53,809
[singsong]
come out, timmy.
165
00:06:53,810 --> 00:06:55,778
Mr. Dunbar?
166
00:06:55,779 --> 00:06:58,080
When I agreed to be
the party greeter,
167
00:06:58,081 --> 00:07:00,115
I did not agree to this.
168
00:07:00,116 --> 00:07:03,185
Aw, chicks dig
a man in uniform.
169
00:07:05,021 --> 00:07:07,756
Yeah!
Ho ho ho oh!
170
00:07:07,757 --> 00:07:09,091
Whoa!
171
00:07:09,092 --> 00:07:12,061
Okay--
"don we now our gay apparel."
172
00:07:12,062 --> 00:07:14,029
I finally get that.
173
00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:16,632
That's your way of encouraging
me to stay in this outfit?
174
00:07:16,633 --> 00:07:18,967
No. My way of encouraging you
to stay in the outfit
175
00:07:18,968 --> 00:07:21,170
Was throwing your clothes
down the garbage chute.
176
00:07:21,171 --> 00:07:24,006
- Come on, let's hit the par-tay.
- No, sir.
177
00:07:24,007 --> 00:07:26,709
I'm leaving here with
what's left of my dignity.
178
00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:28,911
[bells jingling]
179
00:07:28,912 --> 00:07:31,480
Oh, no, he's got little
bells on his shoes.
180
00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:34,550
[laughing]
it's too good!
181
00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:37,219
[bells jingling]
182
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:39,488
I see what
you're trying to do.
183
00:07:39,489 --> 00:07:42,224
You're trying to humiliate me
for your own amusement.
184
00:07:42,225 --> 00:07:43,359
But you know what?
185
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,195
I am not going to give you
the satisfaction.
186
00:07:46,196 --> 00:07:48,997
- I'm staying.
- Oh...That'll show me.
187
00:07:48,998 --> 00:07:50,766
I'll show you,
by wearing this ensemble
188
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:53,168
With pride.
189
00:07:53,169 --> 00:07:54,737
I don't know if using
the word "ensemble"
190
00:07:54,738 --> 00:07:56,338
Is helping your cause.
191
00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:58,474
Go ahead, sir.
Mock away.
192
00:07:58,475 --> 00:08:00,576
Well, I'm trying.
Stop interrupting.
193
00:08:00,577 --> 00:08:02,344
You're going to be the one
who's disappointed
194
00:08:02,345 --> 00:08:03,779
When people rally
around my costume
195
00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:05,314
And appreciate
its holiday spirit--
196
00:08:05,315 --> 00:08:06,582
Ladies, welcome!
197
00:08:06,583 --> 00:08:09,251
As your official greeter,
please allow me to point out
198
00:08:09,252 --> 00:08:11,587
That the bar and light
hors d'oeuvres are that way.
199
00:08:11,588 --> 00:08:14,790
Thanks. Hey, which way
to the guys with pants?
200
00:08:14,791 --> 00:08:16,892
Ah! Ooh!
Ah ha!
201
00:08:16,893 --> 00:08:18,093
Oh...
202
00:08:18,094 --> 00:08:21,730
Aw...And they didn't
even hear ya walk.
203
00:08:21,731 --> 00:08:24,066
[jingling]
204
00:08:27,203 --> 00:08:29,371
Oh, adam!
205
00:08:29,372 --> 00:08:32,441
Thanks so much for the gift.
206
00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:35,644
Gift, uh...
What gift is that?
207
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:40,048
One your special
super-squeezy hugs.
208
00:08:42,685 --> 00:08:44,019
Wait a minute.
Where'd you get that?
209
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:46,789
It was in
my christmas stocking.
210
00:08:50,193 --> 00:08:51,960
Okay, um...
211
00:08:51,961 --> 00:08:54,396
Look, evelyn, there's been
a bit of a misunderstanding.
212
00:08:54,397 --> 00:08:57,833
Um...That coupon
wasn't meant for you.
213
00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,303
Oh. That's too bad.
214
00:09:01,304 --> 00:09:03,272
I've had kind of a rough week
215
00:09:03,273 --> 00:09:05,574
With the subway incident
and all.
216
00:09:05,575 --> 00:09:09,111
I could have
really used a hug.
217
00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:14,683
Wait.
218
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,518
I am a man of my word.
219
00:09:16,519 --> 00:09:18,654
Get over here, you.
220
00:09:28,565 --> 00:09:29,898
Feel better?
221
00:09:29,899 --> 00:09:34,169
The coupon says
two full minutes.
222
00:09:35,672 --> 00:09:37,639
That's why
you work in legal.
223
00:09:41,311 --> 00:09:43,912
Oh, hey, there ya are.
224
00:09:43,913 --> 00:09:45,380
Wish I could've
found you sooner,
225
00:09:45,381 --> 00:09:47,616
But you know guys...
226
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:50,319
We don't ask for directions.
227
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,787
Shut up.
228
00:09:51,788 --> 00:09:55,090
Stupid dan
and his dumb fiancee.
229
00:09:55,091 --> 00:09:57,125
How could they not know
about that?
230
00:09:57,126 --> 00:09:58,861
I don't know.
Maybe they're not hip
231
00:09:58,862 --> 00:10:01,330
To the standup comedy themes
of the eighties.
232
00:10:01,331 --> 00:10:03,298
You know what
I should do.
233
00:10:03,299 --> 00:10:04,967
Try to relax and have fun?
234
00:10:04,968 --> 00:10:07,169
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
235
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,705
Yeah.
236
00:10:09,706 --> 00:10:12,074
No. I'm gonna bust out
my hawaii story,
237
00:10:12,075 --> 00:10:13,642
And you are gonna
set me up.
238
00:10:13,643 --> 00:10:17,513
So start talking about
islands or vacations...
239
00:10:17,514 --> 00:10:19,748
Oh! There's pineapple
on the buffet.
240
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,383
I don't need you.
241
00:10:21,384 --> 00:10:23,519
Why has it become
such a big deal all of a sudden
242
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:24,987
For you to be the funny one?
243
00:10:24,988 --> 00:10:26,522
- Who said it's a big deal?
- Oh, come on!
244
00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:28,757
I saw you making notes
on a napkin over there.
245
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,058
Maybe because
I'm not working.
246
00:10:30,059 --> 00:10:32,261
I'm self-conscious
about that.
247
00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:34,763
Audrey, you don't have to be
self-conscious about anything.
248
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:37,666
You're charming.
You're beautiful.
249
00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:40,502
Oh...That's sweet.
250
00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:43,005
And I know you mean it,
'cause that's the first drink.
251
00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:45,073
Ha ha.
252
00:10:45,074 --> 00:10:46,875
Second?
253
00:10:48,177 --> 00:10:51,313
We've been here
like eight minutes.
254
00:10:51,314 --> 00:10:53,749
Good time for a refill.
255
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:58,654
And my grandmother
had a heart attack
256
00:10:58,655 --> 00:11:00,722
Right on waikiki beach,
257
00:11:00,723 --> 00:11:03,392
So we had to drop everything
and fly there.
258
00:11:03,393 --> 00:11:06,361
Straight from the airport
to the morgue.
259
00:11:06,362 --> 00:11:09,431
Not exactly
a dream trip to hawaii.
260
00:11:09,432 --> 00:11:11,567
Excuse me.
261
00:11:11,568 --> 00:11:13,936
I couldn't help
but overhearing.
262
00:11:13,937 --> 00:11:16,104
Did someone just say hawaii?
263
00:11:21,544 --> 00:11:24,146
You know...
264
00:11:24,147 --> 00:11:25,814
The last time
I saw legs like that,
265
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,383
They were curled up
under dorothy's house.
266
00:11:30,053 --> 00:11:31,086
Good one, sir.
267
00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:33,088
Now, if you'll please
excuse me,
268
00:11:33,089 --> 00:11:34,723
I have more good cheer
to spread.
269
00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:36,792
By letting everyone
make fun of you?
270
00:11:36,793 --> 00:11:38,060
Here, I'll help.
Check this out.
271
00:11:38,061 --> 00:11:42,497
These days, even the north
pole is outsourcing.
272
00:11:42,498 --> 00:11:44,666
He's indian.
273
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,702
Keep walking.
274
00:11:46,703 --> 00:11:48,737
Ha ha.
[bells jingling]
275
00:11:48,738 --> 00:11:51,540
Are we hearing these bells,
people?
276
00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:55,277
So originally,
the coupons were for my fiancee,
277
00:11:55,278 --> 00:12:00,115
Then russell--
who shall remain nameless--
278
00:12:00,116 --> 00:12:01,984
Gave them out.
279
00:12:01,985 --> 00:12:05,053
But you know what?
I'm rollin' with it.
280
00:12:05,054 --> 00:12:07,122
How's the pressure, vic?
281
00:12:09,392 --> 00:12:12,027
You can go
a little deeper.
282
00:12:13,563 --> 00:12:16,198
So day five,
still no luggage.
283
00:12:16,199 --> 00:12:17,933
Finally,
we go to check out--
284
00:12:17,934 --> 00:12:20,602
What do we see at the bell desk?
Our bags.
285
00:12:20,603 --> 00:12:24,139
Which had been there
the entire time!
286
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:27,809
I mean, can you imagine
a worse trip to hawaii?
287
00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,678
[laughing]
288
00:12:39,922 --> 00:12:42,324
Hawaii story?
289
00:12:43,993 --> 00:12:48,263
Wish I could say
I was surprised.
290
00:13:00,963 --> 00:13:02,831
Okay.
There you go, pearl.
291
00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:04,766
You should get
that bunion checked out.
292
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:06,467
It's a little angry.
293
00:13:09,305 --> 00:13:11,706
Uh...Aren't you
forgetting something?
294
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:16,211
Merry christmas.
295
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,980
I can't believe you're
actually doing this stuff.
296
00:13:18,981 --> 00:13:20,682
Well, it was a little
awkward at first,
297
00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:22,283
But I'm brightening their day,
298
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:24,219
Which makes my christmas
even better.
299
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,988
Better?
It's supposed to be worse!
300
00:13:26,989 --> 00:13:30,158
Well, I'm sorry, but your
little prank backfired.
301
00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:32,460
Plus, I can still give
the coupons to jen
302
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:34,462
Now that I got them
all back.
303
00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:37,332
- Ah, nertz!
- Yep.
304
00:13:40,302 --> 00:13:42,837
Wait a minute.
They're not all here.
305
00:13:42,838 --> 00:13:44,305
Hey, adam.
306
00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:47,075
- Oh, hey, scotty.
- I'd like to cash this in.
307
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,476
Oh.
308
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,413
Oh...
309
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,617
Hey, hey, how 'bout...
310
00:13:55,618 --> 00:13:57,752
A little foot rub
311
00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:01,089
Or maybe a nice
back massage instead?
312
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,725
I want that one.
313
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,963
Okay, scotty.
Let's do this.
314
00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,773
- You okay?
- Uh, well...
315
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,909
I just told what I thought
was a funny story,
316
00:14:20,910 --> 00:14:22,010
And it made a woman cry.
317
00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:24,412
Was it the asking
for directions thing?
318
00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:25,914
'cause I don't really get it.
319
00:14:25,915 --> 00:14:27,749
But it didn't make me cry.
320
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,584
Maybe jeff's right.
321
00:14:29,585 --> 00:14:32,287
He thinks I try too hard
at parties.
322
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,089
Look how hard he's working
the buffet.
323
00:14:37,526 --> 00:14:40,895
God! Look at the poor
guy stuck behind him.
324
00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:45,066
Get that guy a magazine.
It's gonna be a while, pal.
325
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:48,636
He looks like a whale
scooping up plankton.
326
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,837
Ha ha ha ha!
327
00:14:49,838 --> 00:14:51,339
That's hilarious!
328
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,141
It is?
329
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,043
- What's so funny?
- Audrey's talking about jeff.
330
00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:57,845
He looks like a bear
with a tapeworm.
331
00:14:57,846 --> 00:14:59,681
[both laughing]
332
00:14:59,682 --> 00:15:01,983
Tapeworm!
Ha ha ha!
333
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,319
Now, check it out.
Now he's stuck behind someone.
334
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,722
Watch him pull
the old tap and slide.
335
00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:09,157
Tap...
336
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,358
And slide.
337
00:15:10,359 --> 00:15:13,928
[laughter]
338
00:15:13,929 --> 00:15:15,697
[laughter continues]
339
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,265
So after dinner,
there's jeff
340
00:15:17,266 --> 00:15:19,701
Passed out at the table,
hands down his pants.
341
00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:21,235
- Oh!
- All in all,
342
00:15:21,236 --> 00:15:23,304
Not a great first thanksgiving
with my parents.
343
00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:24,639
Ooh!
344
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:25,707
Oh, here he comes.
345
00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:29,243
I bet he asks the location
of a food item.
346
00:15:29,244 --> 00:15:32,080
Hey, aud, did you see where
the stuffed mushroom guy went?
347
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:34,148
[laughter]
348
00:15:38,988 --> 00:15:40,722
It's a gift.
349
00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:42,423
Anyway,
350
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:43,791
It looked like
you were doing great.
351
00:15:43,792 --> 00:15:46,527
I was.
Felt pretty good.
352
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,696
And you know, couldn't
have done it without you.
353
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,264
So you learned
from the master.
354
00:15:50,265 --> 00:15:55,236
You were definitely
my inspiration.
355
00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:56,671
Let's go.
356
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:01,709
All right.
Thank you.
357
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,946
You know, I can't believe
they make you wear this getup.
358
00:16:04,947 --> 00:16:07,248
Nobody made me.
I wore this myself.
359
00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:10,651
[monotone]
why did you do that.
360
00:16:10,652 --> 00:16:12,053
Because it's christmas,
361
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,122
And if you can't have fun
and loosen up on christmas,
362
00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:15,256
When can ya?
363
00:16:15,257 --> 00:16:18,459
Ah.
Hey, speaking of loosening up--
364
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:21,929
I have no interest in
hearing how that sentence ends.
365
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:25,133
Come on, can't ya...
Let a guy try?
366
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,802
Sorry. You're not
really my type.
367
00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:30,638
Really?
What's your type?
368
00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:32,974
Well, someone who embraces
the joy of the holidays.
369
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:37,245
Someone who gets into the fun
and the spirit of christmas.
370
00:16:41,984 --> 00:16:44,919
[music changes to slow song]
371
00:17:01,703 --> 00:17:04,205
Christmas nertz!
372
00:17:16,085 --> 00:17:17,351
Whoa!
373
00:17:17,352 --> 00:17:20,922
Nothing on the coupon
about that, scotty.
374
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,901
You know what is
not good?
375
00:17:33,902 --> 00:17:38,206
Diner eggnog.
376
00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:40,041
Really?
Let me try it.
377
00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:42,443
Get your own.
378
00:17:42,444 --> 00:17:44,212
Oh, here it is.
379
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:46,547
My mom sent me
our family christmas photo.
380
00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:48,583
Oh...
Well, wait.
381
00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:50,251
I thought adam
wasn't gonna be in it.
382
00:17:50,252 --> 00:17:51,486
Oh, that's
my cousin cynthia.
383
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,088
Something's going on with her
hormone-wise.
384
00:17:54,089 --> 00:17:57,558
- [groans]
- oh, what's the matter?
385
00:17:57,559 --> 00:18:01,462
Ghost of christmas future
come bearing test results?
386
00:18:01,463 --> 00:18:04,265
Can we skip the pleasantries?
387
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,802
- What's your problem?
- My problem is
388
00:18:07,803 --> 00:18:10,138
I tried to ruin
all my friends' christmases
389
00:18:10,139 --> 00:18:11,606
And they had fun anyway.
390
00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:14,842
What's the matter with you?
391
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,845
You're gonna have to be
more specific.
392
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,647
You're sad
because you weren't able
393
00:18:19,648 --> 00:18:21,749
To ruin christmas
for other people.
394
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:24,619
I am.
But maybe you're right.
395
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:26,521
Maybe that's not what
christmas is all about.
396
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,089
Maybe.
397
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:31,359
Y-you think maybe
it might not be about that?
398
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,695
Why are you so against
people enjoying christmas?
399
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,197
Because I never did.
400
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,466
When I was a kid,
every December,
401
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,067
My parents went to the bahamas
402
00:18:40,068 --> 00:18:43,104
And left me at home
with my nanny helga.
403
00:18:43,105 --> 00:18:44,071
Oh...
404
00:18:44,072 --> 00:18:47,108
Poor helga.
405
00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:48,876
You're trying to make
others feel awful
406
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,311
Because misery loves company.
407
00:18:50,312 --> 00:18:54,682
See, jeff agrees with
and approves of my behavior.
408
00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:56,884
But maybe I should
409
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,620
Try to change
my holiday spirit.
410
00:18:59,621 --> 00:19:01,088
You should.
411
00:19:01,089 --> 00:19:03,391
I wasn't really looking forward
to the holidays this year.
412
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:06,861
But it looks like it's gonna be
a merry christmas after all.
413
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,029
Ah!
414
00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:09,664
Oh, my god!
415
00:19:09,665 --> 00:19:12,233
I unscrewed that last night!
416
00:19:13,535 --> 00:19:14,936
It's a christmas miracle!
417
00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:18,706
God bless us all,
every one.
418
00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:25,226
Okay. So I know
it's not christmas yet,
419
00:19:25,227 --> 00:19:27,962
But I wanna give you
your present now.
420
00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:31,532
Oh, it's so cute!
421
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:32,499
[gasps]
422
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,901
Oh! Cuddles...
423
00:19:33,902 --> 00:19:35,202
Yep.
424
00:19:35,203 --> 00:19:37,304
- Massage.
- Mm-hmm.
425
00:19:37,305 --> 00:19:39,506
Breakfast in bed.
Oh, my gosh!
426
00:19:39,507 --> 00:19:41,342
And these are all actually
gifts for me.
427
00:19:41,343 --> 00:19:43,611
None of them is really
a gift for you.
428
00:19:43,612 --> 00:19:45,446
Well, there is one
in there that's...
429
00:19:45,447 --> 00:19:48,782
Kind of a gift for me.
430
00:19:48,783 --> 00:19:50,517
I don't see it.
431
00:19:50,518 --> 00:19:52,786
Huh?
[knock on window]
432
00:19:57,025 --> 00:20:00,494
Oh, come on, scotty!
433
00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:05,165
I'll be right back.
434
00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:12,072
What, you have to talk
to that guy?
435
00:20:12,073 --> 00:20:14,775
Talk?
436
00:20:14,776 --> 00:20:16,610
I wish.
437
00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:20,952
438
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:25,552
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